1. Oh, no.
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2. If the Black Cube gets
the Ring of Invincibility,
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3. he'll be unstoppable!
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4. Cube! Hey, Cube!
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5. I know you're in there.
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6. Where's my rent, blockhead?
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7. Oh, no, you ain't
pullin' that soul-sucking
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8. Latin mumbo-jumbo again.
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9. E pluribus you owe me money, Cube.
You got 24 hours,
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10. or you're out on your
hexahedronic heinie. Got it?
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11. Ah, that's what I get for
renting to a has-been villain.
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12. Hi, Cube.
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13. It's Stacy. Listen.
We have to break up.
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14. I mean, I'm a nice girl,
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15. you're a concentrated
block of pure evil.
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16. It's just not a good fit.
Bye.
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17. Good morning.
Need a hand?
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18. Wander, that is the
Black Cube of Darkness!
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19. We gotta get outta here
before he sucks out our souls!
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20. Aw, Syl, it never hurts to help.
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21. Do you know how often you say that
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22. immediately before
we actually get hurt?
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23. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey there, friend.
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24. Yeah, you.
Having a rough day?
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25. Been there.
But take it from me,
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26. a bad attitude only makes it rougher.
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27. Learn to let go of anger,
and you won't have to suffer.
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28. It's a beautiful day.
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29. That's the spirit.
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30. Look at this joker.
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31. He's all, like, "Good day to you, sir.
I am a shape."
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32. What a square.
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33. It's funny 'cause
he's different from us.
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34. Oh, my stars and garters.
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35. Oh, why, thank you so much.
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36. What a polite young...
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37. It's the villainous
Black Cube of Darkness.
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38. He's come to steal my soul.
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39. Help, police! Help!
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40. Well, well, well.
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41. Look who finally decided
to show up for his shift.
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42. You're lucky I need you on the register,
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43. or I'd kick you out on your
parallelepiped posterior.
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44. Now get out there!
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45. What a coinky-dink.
Hello again.
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46. Uh, yeah, hi.
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47. I trust you enjoyed
your brisk morning walk.
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48. I can't believe you work here.
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49. You are so lucky. What
a noble profession...
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50. feeding the hungry,
brightening up people's day.
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51. I would like a triple pickle pie
and the honor of providing you
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52. with a gratuity for
all of your fine work.
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53. Ahem.
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54. What a coinky-dink.
If it isn't our old friend.
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55. Let's see.
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56. I'll take a quadruple
splatty melt, no cheese,
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57. no pickles, extra
cheese, seven pickles...
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58. ketchup, catsup, no sesame
seeds of the top bun,
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59. glue 'em onto the bottom
bun, throw out the bun
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60. and put the whole thing in a wrap,
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61. a jumbo extra-small
half-curly half-straight fries,
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62. and a diet Thunderblazz.
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63. Now my associate will have...
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64. You know you're fired, right?
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65. Oh, look at me. I'm having a
sad moment of soul searching.
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66. - Must've lost his edge.
- Oh! Cubes have edges!
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67. Ooh, I'm so scared.
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68. Look, I'm chicken, too.
Ooh, what a loser.
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69. Help me. Help me!
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70. He spent so much time
working on sick burns
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71. that he never learned to swim.
What are we gonna do?
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72. Ew! Get your cube off of me, you cube.
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73. I don't want your...
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74. - What... What happened?
- Oh, my grop.
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75. He totally sucked out your soul!
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76. That was your plan the
whole time, wasn't it?
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77. In fact, I think maybe you
pushed me off that bridge.
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78. - We gotta help him, Syl.
- Wander, no. Wait.
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79. Black cube, please, don't freak out.
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80. Wander!
This is all your fault!
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81. He was only trying to help you.
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82. How could you do this to him?
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83. You should all be ashamed of yourselves.
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84. This guy saved that kid's life.
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85. All he wanted was to
be a good guy for once,
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86. but you're all so
focused on the bad stuff
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87. that you never looked for
the good stuff inside him.
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88. I mean, heck, after what
you all put him through,
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89. I don't blame him for freaking out.
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90. Haven't any of you ever had a lousy day?
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91. My twin brother forgot
to call me on my birthday.
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92. My twin brother forgot
to call me on my birthday.
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93. I didn't make the soccer team.
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94. I did make the soccer
team, but I hate soccer.
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95. I'm suffering from
a distinct case of ennui.
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96. Also, I use words I don't
understand to sound important.
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97. And my best friend and I are on the
run from a series of evil villains,
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98. but that doesn't mean we go
out and ruin someone else's day.
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99. Sometimes, the only
solution is to tell someone,
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100. I'm sorry you had a bad day.
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101. Sector G, hall one, all clear.
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102. Sector G, hall two, all clear.
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103. Sector G, hall three...
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104. Oh! Hi.
Oh, I didn't see you there.
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105. Hey, you know, you're not
really allowed in here.
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106. Top secret security stuff.
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107. But if you've ever
wondered about what keeps
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108. Lord Hater's galactic
domination machine running,
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109. well, then, you're in for a real
treat, because it's time for...
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110. This is Eye On the Skull Ship.
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111. I'm Andy, your humble host,
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112. and I'd like to welcome you
to a very special episode.
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113. We all know that life on the
skull ship can be tedious at times.
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114. One routine work day seamlessly
blending into the next.
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115. But today is going to be different.
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116. Today, I'm proud to bring you...
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117. A one-on-one with Lord Hater!
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118. That's right.
I put in a formal request
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119. to interview our esteemed leader and...
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120. Oh, my gracious!
Maybe that's Hater now. Okay.
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121. Hello. You're live on
Eye On the Skull Ship
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122. with Andy, chief security monitor...
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123. I know who you are, Andy.
This is Commander Peepers.
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124. Once again, your request
to interview Lord Hater
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125. has been rejected on grounds
that it's not your job
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126. to make this stupid show!
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127. Well, it's not my job, per se,
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128. but you know, I think it's
my duty to help enlighten...
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129. Just keep an eye on your sector.
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130. Yes, sir. Always do.
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131. No, you don't!
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132. Well, slight change of plans.
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133. Looks like we won't be
talking to Lord Hater.
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134. But fret not, dear viewers.
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135. I know you're dying to see him,
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136. and I won't give up until I give you...
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137. what you want.
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138. In the meantime, I
bet you're wonderin'...
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139. What's for lunch?
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140. That's right.
It's the 453rd time we find out
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141. exactly what the Watchdogs
are eating for lunch.
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142. Excuse me, fellow Watchdog.
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143. What refreshing and
replenishing meal has been
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144. graciously given to you by
our generous leader Lord Hater?
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145. Oh, wow. Uh, hi.
Um, apparently,
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146. I have never been on
live television before,
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147. and apparently, I'm having enchiladas.
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148. - Apparently.
- Fascinating.
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149. - And what delicious...
- Enchiladas!
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150. Enchiladas!
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151. Enchiladas!
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152. Chef, tell us, enchiladas.
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153. Was this meal specifically chosen
by Lord Hater's decree?
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154. Uh... no.
Taco Tuesday was yesterday,
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155. so there was leftovers, and I
decided to make, uh, enchiladas.
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156. Hmm, interesting.
So does Lord Hater like enchiladas?
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157. I don't know.
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158. All I know is, I didn't want
the stuff to go to waste,
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159. - so I reused it today.
- Hm, yes. But Lord Hater...
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160. See, the thing with...
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161. The thing with ground
beef is, you gotta...
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162. Self-defense, where the
Watchdogs closest to Hater,
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163. his elite ground troops,
learn the fine art of conquering.
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164. And if we're lucky,
Lord Hater might make
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165. a surprise pop-in to
inspect the troops.
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166. To be the best takes
months of intense training
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167. in areas like Advanced Sylvia Defense...
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168. And, of course, Wander
Avoidance Tactics.
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169. I know he wants to be your friend.
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170. I know he wants to play carnival games.
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171. I know he knows all your names,
and birthdays,
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172. and how you like to spend a rainy Sunday
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173. with a crossword and a cup of chamomile.
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174. I mean, he is really not such a bad guy.
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175. No! Wander is pure,
unadulterated love!
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176. I'm sure our resident drill instructor
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177. has a host of exciting Hater
stories to share with us.
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178. - You're darn right I do. One time...
- Andy!
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179. - Why aren't you at your post?
- Uh, gotta go. See you next time.
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180. We are live from Level H8,
Hater's private floor.
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181. Only Watchdogs in Hater's inner
circle are allowed on this level.
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182. I hope to speak with someone
close to the big man himself.
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183. Though it's risky, it's worth it,
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184. because this is the story
every Watchdog is waiting for.
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185. I wonder who we'll...
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186. Oh, my gosh.
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187. That was Captain Tim,
Lord Hater's personal pet.
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188. This is a sure-fire exclusive.
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189. We're here with Lord Hater's
personal pet and dog walker.
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190. Wow. What I wouldn't
give to work so closely
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191. - with our great leader.
- Be my guest!
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192. Welcome again to Eye On the Skull Ship.
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193. Thanks to some of the
guys in the infirmary,
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194. I was able to secure an exclusive place
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195. at one of Hater's rallies!
Whoo... ow, ow!
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196. Fear not, viewers.
Though I can barely see or hear
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197. our esteemed leader, I
assure you, I will get
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198. at least some of the Hater
coverage you demanded.
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199. He's talking about his
hated rival Lord Dominator.
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200. Boo!
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201. And now he's saying...
he'll conquer... her heart?
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202. That can't be right.
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203. Well, Peepers seems to be
getting very upset about this.
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204. Hater's pulling out what
appears to be some kind of...
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205. - It's the T-shirt cannon!
- Whoo!
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206. Nooo!
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207. Oh... "I heart Dominator."
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208. Oh, boy.
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209. Hello, all.
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210. After a serious close call
with Commander Peepers,
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211. your humble host has
decided to do the show
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212. entirely from the safety
of his security office,
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213. so he won't get fired.
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214. But you won't believe who stopped
by for a little chat with us.
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215. The one and only Lord Hater!
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216. Hi, Andy. It sure is
an honor to be here.
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217. Huge fan of the show.
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218. Really? Oh, well, sir, that
really means the world to me.
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219. And each and every one of you Watchdogs
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220. mean the world to me, Andy.
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221. In fact, I'd like to
thank all the Watchdogs
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222. for their tireless service.
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223. They're truly the backbone
of the skull ship, and...
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224. Oh, who am I kidding?
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225. I'm sorry, everyone.
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226. I was a fool to think I
could give you a good show.
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227. I'll never get a Lord Hater interview.
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228. Hey, uh, my printer stopped working.
It says I need toner.
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229. Are you Toner?
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230. I, uh... I, uh...
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231. - You do TV here?
- Uh, yes, sir.
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232. Unless that would get me in
trouble, in which case, no.
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233. How many people watch your show?
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234. - Oh, it goes out all over.
- All over, huh?
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235. Dear viewers, it is
with the deepest pride
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236. that I present to you the man,
the myth,
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237. the leader I'm honored to serve.
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238. The greatest in the galaxy.
Lord Hater.
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239. - Lord Hater, how are you?
- Good to be here, Toner.
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240. Listen up, and listen good!
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241. All you poser villains out there
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242. better recognize who
the G-est in the G is!
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243. It's Lord Hater, number one superstar!
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244. You want a piece of me,
Emperor Dork-some?
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245. Got beef, Sandwich?
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246. Then bring it on, losers!
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247. I will lightning you so hard
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248. - that you'll be all, like...
- Oh, sir. Excuse me.
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249. How dare you interrupt my
righteous rant to the galaxy?
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250. I'm sorry, sir.
It's just that, you see,
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251. when I said the show went out all over,
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252. I meant all over the skull ship.
Not the galaxy.
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253. Wait.
So who actually watches this?
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254. Well, I don't have the
exact figures handy.
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255. It certainly has the
potential to be viewed by,
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256. you know, anyone on the ship,
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257. so mostly Watchdogs, I think.
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258. Watchdogs? You make
a show for Watchdogs?
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259. That's the stupidest, lamest thing ever!
I mean, really?
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260. This show is stupid!
You're stupid!
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261. You should both be cancelled.
Hater out!
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262. Sector G, hall one, all clear.
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263. Sector G, hall two, all clear.
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264. Sector G, hall three, all clear.
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265. Commander Peepers.
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266. Sir, I promise I stopped doing my
stupid show. Nothing is going on.
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267. I know. That's the problem.
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268. Andy fan, best show!
Andy fan, best show.
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269. Andy fan, best show!
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270. The Watchdogs are rioting.
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271. Apparently, they wanna watch
your weird little show about them.
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272. They claim your interviews
made them feel special. Yuck!
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273. Well, you mean, I didn't
need a Hater interview?
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274. I was making the show the
Watchdogs wanted all along?
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275. A show that made them feel special?
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276. Wow. I mean, that... that
makes me feel special.
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277. Yeah, yeah, just make your stupid show.
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278. Enchiladas!
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279. Welcome to Eye On the Skull Ship,
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280. the only show for
Watchdogs, about Watchdogs,
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281. by a Watchdog, for Watchdogs.
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282. I am your humble host,
Andy the Watchdog,
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283. and today, I am here with Giuseppe,
the ship's tailor.
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284. So what's your secret?
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285. You see, the Watchdogs
have the very big heads,
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286. and the very skinny necks.
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287. So it's all about the stretchy shirts.
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288. Then it's about the beanies
and the booties and the glovies.
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289. If the Watchdogs don't look good,
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290. - Giuseppe no look good.
- Fascinating.
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291. Yuck!
Why would anyone watch this?
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292. I don't know, sir.
I just don't know.
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