Wander Over Yonder 1x23

Directed by Eddie Trigueros

Kari Wahlgren as Janet (voice) • René Auberjonois as Maurice (voice)

A lonely planet named Janet tries to keep Wander to herself.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. Welcome.

2. I've gathered you all here today

3. Because I am dy...

4. Ing to tell you something.

5. I'm dying.

6. But before I die, I will bequeath to one of you villains

7. My vast empire and the extensive power

8. Which I have spent 1,000 years building.

9. Are you 1,000 years old?

10. You don't look a day over 400.

11. Am I right? Who's with me?

12. Wait. No! What if I say you do look your age?

13. Or older?

14. No!

15. That was desperate. I cannot stand desperate.

16. Whomever I bequeath control of my power to,

17. Must be one who possesses great strength,

18. Someone deserving.

19. I do not want weaklings!

20. This is perfect, sir.

21. Now there's nobody standing in your—

22. Sorry I'm late.

23. Hey, it's hater and mr. Peepers.

24. Sylvia, and you said we wouldn't know anyone.

25. Pbbt!

26. Wander.

27. So glad you made it, my dear boy.

28. Ooh, sit next to me.

29. W—w—wander?

30. What is he doing— why—why—who?

31. Queen entozoa,

32. I can't thank you enough for inviting me and sylvia

33. To your swanky shindig.

34. I can't wait to meet all your fascinating guests.

35. And any of you well-behaved creeps get out of line,

36. I got a couple of guests I'd like you to meet, too.

37. The lady haymaker and the duchess of wailing.

38. Duchess, look.

39. Finger sandwiches.

40. Oh, yeah.

41. But, your majesty, he's not even a villain,

42. He's like the gooodiest good guy ever!

43. On the contrary, lord hater,

44. Wander is the number one most wanted

45. Fugitive in the galaxy.

46. So impressive. Someone has some competition.

47. But he's wanted by me. I did that.

48. Wander, I will not allow you to foil

49. Another one of my plans.

50. Now you shall d—

51. Excuse us.

52. We need to use the little villains' room.

53. Sir, we've been over this.

54. You cannot destroy anyone at a dinner party.

55. It's very rude.

56. And the queen is very, very particular

57. About proper manners.

58. But wander doesn't even want queen entozoa's power.

59. I do.

60. Black cube: Omino deus! Decto illuminata!

61. Sancto invictus!

62. Sir, let me take care of wander.

63. She's sure to pick you if you stick to the plan

64. And act like the ultimate gentleman.

65. Polite, proper, witty and charming.

66. Okay. I can do this.

67. Whoo-ha! Hate's great.

68. What a lovely evil castle you have here.

69. Oh, stop.

70. You know just what to say to a girl.

71. I like it, too.

72. It's got good parts and then other parts

73. That are also good, too, as well.

74. Don't be a suck up.

75. "esther ate planets for tom."

76. Heh-heh-heh.

77. Oh, wandy.

78. How I love your devil-may-care attitude.

79. Grr!

80. Say goodbye, you wandering weirdo.

81. Better call the farmer because these calves

82. Are ready for market.

83. ( robot voice singing ) ♪ captain awesome

84. You can't handle this.

85. I can't understand these disgusting creatures.

86. Someone else talk.

87. Oh, I have a very pithy and impromptu story

88. That's sure to make you laugh.

89. So the other day, I'm flying through space

90. And there's this planet that's just begging

91. To get blown up.

92. Why? Because it was.

93. But why? Because it was dumb looking.

94. Why? Because it was purple and I hate purple.

95. Why? Because this girl I liked had purple hair

96. And she didn't want to date me but it doesn't matter

97. 'cause I, like, didn't want to date her either

98. So, like, she's the loser, not me.

99. So whatever, purple is just stupid, okay.

100. Hey, I can do this.

101. Ah!

102. Ooh, time for dancing.

103. Dancing!

104. But before I let loose on the dance floor,

105. I got to let loose in the little gentleman's room.

106. So if you'll excuse me.

107. That's gonna hurt coming off.

108. Whoop, door's stuck.

109. Hello?

110. I did it.

111. Sir, wander is all taken care of.

112. This is the moment we've been waiting for.

113. Your majesty, may I have this dance?

114. Lord hater, maybe I was wrong about you.

115. I can't think of anyone more deserving of my power.

116. Phew! And I thought I missed it.

117. Follow my lead, look for breaks,

118. Don't put anything in your ear bigger than your elbow.

119. Let's go!

120. May I cut in?

121. Oh my, you are a wild one, wandy.

122. Whee!

123. Black cube: Credo viri rominus...

124. May I cut in?

125. Ow.

126. Ow.

127. No.

128. No! No!

129. I got to save this. What can I do?

130. What can I do?

131. I know.

132. Mwah!

133. What are you doing? I'm 1,000 years old.

134. But—but—but—but

135. You don't look more than 400.

136. Desperate, weak, pathetic.

137. I can't stand desperate.

138. The party is over. I have made my choice.

139. No, please. You can't give it to wander.

140. He's an idiot. He'll use it for good, not evil!

141. Give me what?

142. Wander, it is my wish to bequeath to you—

143. Forget polite and proper.

144. Forget witty and charming.

145. I am not the ultimate gentleman.

146. I am lord hater, the ultimate evil.

147. When I want something, I take it.

148. And I want your power, now!

149. Okay.

150. Huh?

151. Really?

152. Such strength. Such force.

153. Oh, so we are doing the kissing thing then?

154. I will enjoy inhabiting your body

155. So much better than this old hag's.

156. Yes. Wait, what?

157. Oh, yes, lord hater. That's the catch.

158. Just as I did with the queen,

159. When I bequeath my empire to a vessel,

160. They may control my power, but I will control them

161. For the next 1,000 years!

162. Lord hater.

163. Oh-ho! Okay, I'm full.

164. You stuck me in a sandwich for a 1,000 years?

165. Destroy them!

166. Whoo-hoo!

167. Heck of a party, huh?

168. Later, hater.

169. Run, you fools.

170. But mark my words,

171. I will find you and you will pay!

172. So you're a sandwich now? I'm totally into that.

173. Evil sandwich!

174. You been there? Been there?

175. Been there? Been there?

176. Old lady: Yes. Uh-huh.

177. You betcha. Indeedy-do.

178. So you saw the...

179. Ooh, it was terrific, but it was no arooga-dingle-ling-ling.

180. You've been to arooga-dingle-ling-ling, too?

181. Sylvia, isn't this amazing?

182. Uh, it sure is.

183. Welcome to planet ziziks.

184. What will it be?

185. One flarvarian float, two straws.

186. I can't believe you've been

187. To arooga-dingle-ling-ling-ling.

188. And a translation guide, if you got one.

189. Sylvia, I met another wanderer.

190. Can you believe she's been to as many places

191. In the universe as me?

192. Name's trudy, trudy traveler, and I'm pleased

193. As punch to meetcha and greetcha.

194. Yeah, likewise.

195. Ooh, and speaking of punch,

196. When you went to glowerp, did you see the pbbt?

197. And the rawr?

198. And the bzzt?

199. I'll just leave it there.

200. I loved the pbbt and the rawr,

201. And the bzzt, and the flooshy slooshy sloosh.

202. I loved the flooshy slooshy sloosh.

203. Wait a minute.

204. I didn't see the flooshy slooshy sloosh.

205. Well, you're young. You'll catch up someday.

206. Anywho, I should toodles.

207. Places to go, sights to see, you understand.

208. Or do you?

209. Nothing like a flarvarian float to start off

210. A relaxing vacay, huh?

211. Aww. I can't stop thinking about the flooshy slooshy sloosh.

212. You really want to see the flooshy slooshy thingy?

213. Well, then come on.

214. Let's go. The vacay can wait.

215. Sylvia's awesome.

216. I got to admit, this is exciting.

217. That thing seem slow to anyone?

218. Ooh!

219. Well, that's done.

220. Let's go.

221. Happy, wander?

222. You got your flooshy slooshy thingy

223. And I got my flarvarian float waiting for me back on ziziks.

224. Let's get this vacay underway.

225. Well, isn't this a treat? Where y'all coming from?

226. We just saw old flooshy.

227. My favorite part was the slooshing.

228. And now we're even.

229. Isn't that nice?

230. By the by, while you were off seeing old slooshy,

231. I toured the museum of ginormous antiquities.

232. I tasted the galaxy's biggest hoagie.

233. And stayed at a fancy-shmancy hotel.

234. Seasoned traveler like you,

235. Surely you've been to all those places?

236. Gee, whackers. I'm no math whiz,

237. But I think that means I'm ahead

238. By three.

239. Toodles.

240. Not that it's a contest, that'd be silly-willy.

241. But if it was,

242. I am winning.

243. So who's parched, aside from me?

244. I want to eat, see, and stay at those places,

245. Respectively.

246. Wander, you're not getting competitive, are you?

247. Sylvia, I am offended at the implication.

248. I am simply expressing a natural curiosity.

249. Yeah, all right, all right.

250. Don't get your socks in a bunch.

251. Uh, I guess they do sound like fun side-trips

252. And the vacay can wait.

253. But soon as we're done, we're headed straight back

254. To ziziks for my float, got it?

255. Yeah-yeah-yeah, sure, fine.

256. Just hang a right and ignore the speed limit.

257. It's so big.

258. It's so big.

259. Beautiful, impressive, inspiring,

260. Just as good as the real thing.

261. Hey!

262. Then again, I am kind of peckish.

263. Check please.

264. If you think a stay at fancy shmancy's

265. Fancy hotel will make up for you eating my dinner—

266. Ooh! There's a spa.

267. Enjoy your stay. We will.

268. We did. We what?

269. Trudy was right, those places were amazing.

270. Were they? I wouldn't know.

271. Take it from me, one of the two most traveled folks

272. In the universe, they were.

273. I really hate that sound.

274. Well, isn't this a nice surprise?

275. Isn't it?

276. It is.

277. We just got back

278. From those three great places you told us about.

279. Well, I guess that'd make us tied

280. If I hadn't just gone to five more.

281. Impressive.

282. Impossible!

283. She drives at the speed of dusty molasses.

284. Five.

285. I want to climb, observe, witness, enjoy, and ride

286. Those things, respectively.

287. Wander, I don't think it's—

288. Please.

289. No. No. Uh-uh.

290. No way. Not gonna—

291. Okay. But only if you agree to take it nice and slow.

292. Deal?

293. Eeee!

294. Let's go.

295. I'm sensing a troubling pattern here.

296. The temple of backalakabingbong

297. Was a place of solemnity and fortitude.

298. Done.

299. The delicate tardilius plant blooms hourly,

300. Awakening slowly to show its splendid petals.

301. Done.

302. The courtship ritual of the lorb requires patience.

303. Done.

304. The klerblatz ceremony you are witnessing

305. Has been unchanged for thousands of years.

306. Done.

307. Bus driver: And now we are entering shatterton,

308. The town made entirely of glass.

309. Of course, we are.

310. We better take it slow or—

311. Done.

312. I think we're clear.

313. Gah!

314. Well, howdy hoo.

315. Five, I saw five. Five.

316. Oh. I only saw four.

317. Really?

318. Tee. Four-tee.

319. Forty.

320. Got it. Hee-yahh!

321. Hee-yahh?

322. Seen it, saw it, done it,

323. Did it, yep, yeah, sure, fine.

324. Good, great, got it, win it.

325. Victory will be mine.

326. You're a worthy opponent, wander.

327. Seems we are now even.

328. I don't do even.

329. Planet pharphlung, you, me, there,

330. Now!

331. You're on.

332. Let's go, sylvia.

333. Come on!

334. Adventure, sights exploring, fun!

335. My feet hurt. I'm tired.

336. I don't even want to think about how thirsty I am.

337. Ugh, now I'm thinking about it.

338. You got to choose, wander. It's her or m—

339. Gah!

340. Oh my. It's the birth of a star.

341. It's so beautiful.

342. Puts things in perspective, doesn't it?

343. I— I don't know what to say.

344. Actually, I do.

345. Eat it, fuzzball.

346. I've been doing this all wrong.

347. One flarvarian float, one straw.

348. Better make it two.

349. Wander.

350. Sylvia, I am so sorry.

351. I got so caught up in proving myself

352. The most traveled tourist in the entire universe!

353. I forgot the real reason

354. I love wandering in the first place.

355. The roses you stop and smell aren't as sweet

356. Without your best pal to smell it with you.

357. Aw, man, what are you trying to do to me

358. With all the sappy sappiness?

359. Garcon, one more straw.

360. Where are you?

361. Did you find him yet, trudy?

362. Nope. Did you, trudy?

363. Nope. Did you, trudy?

364. Nope. You, trudy?

365. Nope. How about you, trudy?

366. Nah. Any luck, trudy?

367. Sorry, trudy, nope.

368. You? What?

369. How about you? You? You?

370. Ugh, we'll never find him.

371. Give it up, trudy. Technically speaking,

372. The furry fella did win.

373. Oh, just stow it, would you, trudy?

374. Destroy them!