1. Previously on WandaVision...
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2. Dr. Harley, where's my mom?
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3. Maria died three years ago.
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4. Two years after you disappeared.
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5. Captain Monica Rambeau.
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6. Director Tyler Hayward.
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7. The program hasn't been the same
since you've been up there, Rambeau.
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8. The FBI is in a tizzy up in Jersey...
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9. This isn't a missing person's case,
Captain Rambeau, it's a missing town.
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10. Some sort of energy field.
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11. My equipment registered
an extremely high level of CMBR.
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12. Entwined was a broadcast frequency.
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13. Voila, sound and picture.
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14. You are trespassing here.
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15. And I want you to leave.
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16. Where's Geraldine?
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17. She's gone. She didn't belong here.
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18. It's all Wanda.
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19. Sweet, sweet Tommy, don't you wanna sleep?
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20. Mommy wants to sleep.
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21. If you go to sleep,
I promise you will be my favorite twin.
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22. Oh, come on now, darling.
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23. You know we love them both equally.
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24. - Well, don't tell him that.
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25. No luck with Billy?
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26. Tried reading to him,
but for some reason,
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27. Charles Darwin's The Descent of Man
made him cry even harder.
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28. Oh. Care to dance, darling?
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29. Oh!
Mm...
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30. - It's almost like we're on a date.
- Mm!
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31. Keep it down, lads,
I was about to get my leg over.
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32. - Vis?
- Hmm.
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33. Would you mind grabbing their binkies?
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34. Oh. 'Course not.
Binkies all round, I think.
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35. Now, I know parents
aren't supposed to take shortcuts,
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36. but I think this situation
calls for one, don't you?
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37. So, go to sleep, my babies.
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38. And go to sleep.
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39. Well, I don't think it's very funny.
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40. Why won't you do what I want?
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41. What's that, dear?
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42. That is not where those go!
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43. Noise cancelation
is not their primary function?
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44. Ooh.
Look, I think it's...
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45. - Vis?
- Mm.
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46. What are we doing wrong?
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47. Oh, don't worry, dear.
We'll figure it out.
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48. Perhaps we all need more time
to get to know one another.
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49. Maybe. Or maybe we just need some help.
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50. Oh!
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51. Hiya, kids!
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52. Oh, Agnes!
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53. Agnes, I was just fluffing this pillow.
With my face.
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54. Oh, I was just on my way to Jazzercise
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55. when I heard your new little
bundles of joy were on a sleep strike.
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56. - Oh? Who told you that?
- Uh, my ears.
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57. Anyway, Auntie Agnes is here
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58. and I've got a couple of tricks
up my sleeve.
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59. - Oh, Agnes, you're a lifesaver.
Aw.
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60. Very well.
But be careful of their belly buttons
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61. and remember
to support their heads,
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62. and when was the last time you washed...
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63. Actually, you know what? It would be...
Just... Maybe we better not.
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64. Um...
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65. Uh...
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66. Do you want me to take that again?
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67. Uh...
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68. I'm sorry?
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69. You want me to hold the babies.
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70. Should we just take it from the top?
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71. What?
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72. Oh, don't be silly.
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73. Vision, let's...
Let's let Agnes give it a try.
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74. Fussy babies, meet buns of steel.
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75. - We dare you to stay awake.
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76. Wanda.
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77. What was that about?
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78. What was what?
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79. "What was what?"
That, that with Agnes just now.
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80. Well, I think she just got confused
for a moment.
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81. She seems fine now.
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82. But what she said,
the way she looked at you...
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83. How did she look at me?
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84. Well, I didn't... Oh.
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85. Lavender. It's supposed to have
a calming effect.
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86. Ralph sprays it on me every night.
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87. But there's no taming this tiger. What?
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88. It's so strange.
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89. That's not fair.
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90. It's not Agnes's fault
that she has an unusually high libido.
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91. Wanda?
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92. Did you really not see what I saw?
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93. Oh.
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94. Don't mind me.
I'm just looking for your dark liquor.
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95. - What?
- Not for me.
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96. For the twins.
What kind of babysitter do you think I am?
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97. I'm just gonna go and check in there.
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98. Vision,
the boys haven't slept in days.
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99. You and I both need a break and Agnes
is just being neighborly, that's all.
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100. Do you hear that?
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101. Hear what?
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102. - Absolutely nothing.
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103. They finally fell asleep.
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104. They're empty.
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105. Then where are the twins?
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106. - Mommy?
- Daddy?
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107. - Huh?
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108. You can't control 'em.
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109. No matter how hard you try.
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110. Well, hi!
Hi!
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111. How are you doing, baby?
Aw.
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112. - Yeah.
- Yeah.
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113. You wander the world with a vision
Of what life could be
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114. But then the years come and teach you
To just wait and see
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115. Forces may try to pull us apart
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116. But nothing can phase me
If you're in my heart
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117. Crossing our fingers, singing a song
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118. We're making it up as we go along
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119. Through the highs and the lows
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120. We'll be right, we'll be wrong
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121. We're making it up as we go along
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122. And there will be days
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123. We won't know which way to go
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124. But we'll take it higher
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125. You're all I desire
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126. When the going gets tough
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127. When push comes to shove
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128. We're making it up
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129. 'Cause we got love
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130. We got love
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131. We got love
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132. We got love
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133. Baby, we got...
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134. WandaVision
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135. What's the first thing
you do remember?
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136. Pain.
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137. And then, Wanda's voice in my head.
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138. Did you try to resist?
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139. There was this feeling
keeping me down.
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140. This hopeless feeling.
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141. Like drowning.
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142. It was grief.
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143. You can sit up now.
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144. Great.
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145. So am I cleared?
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146. Once I get a look at these.
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147. Where's my uniform?
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148. In analysis.
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149. Mighty glad to have you back, Captain.
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150. How you feeling?
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151. Like myself.
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152. Well, thank heavens for that.
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153. Uh, what's the latest?
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154. There's a briefing in ten.
Pants are encouraged.
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155. - Thank you.
- This is Dr. Darcy Lewis.
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156. She's the one
who discovered the broadcast.
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157. - I'm...
- Monica. I know. Um, big fan.
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158. We're gonna need to take these again.
There's something wrong with the machine.
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159. Those are blank.
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160. Like I said.
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161. Well, what about her labs?
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162. I need another blood draw.
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163. No, no, no. We're done here.
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164. She does that. See you at the briefing.
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165. Morning.
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166. We are now assessing a more clear picture
of this crisis.
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167. And thanks to Captain Rambeau,
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168. we now have first-person intel
from inside the Westview Anomaly.
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169. Our initial theory had
Wanda Maximoff as one of many victims.
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170. We now know
she is the principal victimizer.
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171. Jimmy.
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172. Quick history on our subject.
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173. Born in Sokovia in 1989
to Irina and Oleg Maximoff,
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174. both killed during an air raid
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175. when Maximoff
and her twin brother, Pietro, were ten.
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176. The twins were subsequently
radicalized, volunteering at HYDRA.
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177. It's an oversimplification
of events, but, yes.
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178. After unspecified experimentation
with the Mind Stone,
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179. Maximoff gained
telekinetic and telepathic abilities.
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180. Back up, Jimmy.
Does Maximoff have an alias?
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181. - No, sir.
- No funny nickname?
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182. Not a one.
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183. And earliest tracking had her using
her powers against the Avengers.
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184. Is that correct?
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185. Right before she earned their trust
and became one herself.
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186. Lagos and Germany,
we all know how that turned out.
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187. Thanks, Jimmy.
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188. Now that we have the lay of the land,
let's talk about strategy.
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189. It is the policy...
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190. I try
not to speak ill of people...
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191. Then allow me. Hayward's a...
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192. terrorists.
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193. Wanda's not a terrorist.
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194. By your own account,
you described the experience
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195. of being under her mind-control as
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196. "excruciating, terrifying, a violation."
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197. Wanda, what's up?
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198. And now that I've gone all corporate...
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199. My point is, I don't believe
she has a political agenda
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200. or any inclination toward destruction.
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201. Monica, she blasted you
halfway across New Jersey.
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202. And I survived
because she chose to protect me.
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203. She's holding thousands of people hostage.
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204. And it could have been thousands more
if she hadn't put up her own quarantine.
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205. Listen, I don't believe
this is a premeditated act of aggression.
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206. You don't?
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207. Bring up the visual.
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208. This morning,
I received authorization to share
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209. this highly-sensitive material
from S.W.O.R.D. headquarters.
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210. Until very recently, it was the top-secret
location of the Vision's corpse.
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211. - When was this?
Nine days ago.
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212. Maximoff stormed our facility,
stole the Vision's body,
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213. and resurrected him.
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214. But that's in direct violation
of Section 36 B of the Sokovia Accords.
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215. And the Vision's own living will.
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216. He didn't want to be anybody's weapon.
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217. Maximoff, in her grief,
disregarded his wishes.
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218. All right, that's it for now.
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219. Let's work the problem, people. Dismissed.
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220. But how did she even do it?
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221. Bring him back without the Mind Stone?
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222. Who knows?
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223. But she has the world's
only vibranium synthezoid,
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224. playing Father-Knows-Best-In-Suburbia.
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225. What happens when he learns the truth?
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226. I don't think he likes the water.
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227. But we have to get him clean,
so Mommy will let us keep him.
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228. Tommy, Billy!
- Oh, no! Mommy's coming!
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229. You know, I don't miss the crying,
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230. but jeez Louise,
did you have to learn to walk?
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231. You two never stay put.
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232. Unless you're innocently forming
a human wall in front of the kitchen sink.
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233. - Bless you.
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234. Thank you.
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235. Now tell me which one of you just barked?
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236. Scoot.
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237. Oh, boy.
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238. Waiter, what's this canine
doing in my kitchen sink?
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239. The doggy paddle?
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240. Can we keep him, Mommy?
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241. Well, I'm sure
his owners miss him very much.
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242. Come on.
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243. Huh. There really is no collar.
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244. Can we keep him?
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245. He was outside. Crying, alone.
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246. Now, boys, taking care
of a living thing is a big responsibility.
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247. Dogs need food, exercise, training,
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248. belly rubs, and cuddles.
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249. And kisses between his little ears.
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250. Morning, wife. Morning, boys.
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251. - Good morning, unfamiliar wet animal.
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252. Who's this?
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253. We're not quite sure, actually.
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254. Why so formal, honey?
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255. Oh, it's just a precaution really.
I had a hunch someone might pop over.
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256. - Hi, kiddos.
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257. - With exactly the item we require.
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258. My kitchen window told me
someone got a new pooch.
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259. - Did you name him yet?
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260. - How about Sniffy?
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261. Oh!
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262. How about Sparky?
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263. Well, should we make it official?
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264. - Wanda.
- Hmm?
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265. Agnes was right there!
- She didn't notice.
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266. She didn't even notice when the boys
went from babies to five-year-olds.
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267. That's not what we agreed upon.
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268. You made no effort
to conceal your abilities.
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269. Well, I'm tired of hiding, Vis.
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270. And maybe you don't have to either.
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271. Wanda, we are usually
so much of the same mind.
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272. But right now...
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273. What aren't you telling me?
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274. So, is Sparky our dog, Daddy?
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275. What?
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276. Boys, your father and I
don't think you're ready
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277. to properly care for an animal
until you're at least...
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278. Ten. Ten.
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279. Ten years old.
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280. - Wait, now, hang on there a minute...
- Wait, no, no, no.
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281. - ... you young whippersnappers.
No, no, no!
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282. Let's just hope this dog
stays the same size.
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283. Woof, woof.
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284. Okay. Okay, I've got it.
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285. What I need
is a 10,000-pound fallout shelter
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286. comprised of lead for photons,
cadmium for neutrons,
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287. tantalum for seismic blasts, on wheels.
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288. And then, I would be able
to safely re-enter Westview. Right?
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289. Yes. Theoretically.
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290. I can work with theoretically.
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291. What'd I miss?
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292. The twins aged up to ten.
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293. Holy Christmas. At this rate,
they'll be empty nesters by dinner time.
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294. I know an aerospace engineer
who'd be up for this challenge.
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295. But I can't guarantee the Hex
won't just mind-wipe you as you go in.
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296. Wait. What's a Hex?
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297. Oh, um, it's what I'm calling the anomaly
because of its hexagonal shape.
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298. It's starting to catch on.
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299. You really wanna go back in there?
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300. After everything she's put you through?
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301. Yeah. Yes, I do.
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302. Have we identified these minors yet?
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303. Or the newborns?
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304. Oh, Wanda's twins are hers.
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305. Everything might look fake in the TV,
but everything in there is real.
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306. But Wanda manipulates
people's perceptions,
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307. makes them hallucinate.
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308. Yeah, that's her whole bag.
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309. If all the sets and props
and wardrobe were solid matter,
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310. that would mean
she's wielding an insane amount of power.
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311. Far exceeding anything
she's displayed in the past.
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312. Uh, she could have taken out Thanos
on her own if he hadn't initiated a blitz.
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313. I mean, nobody else came close.
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314. Well, I'd argue
that Captain Marvel came close.
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315. Her powers came from
an Infinity Stone, too, right?
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316. We are not talking about her.
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317. We are talking about Wanda.
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318. Darcy?
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319. What was that you were saying
about props and sets and...
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320. Wardrobe?
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321. Where's the lab?
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322. What are we looking for?
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323. That.
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324. Oh, man, are we being mind-controlled
to see that right now?
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325. Jeepers creepers!
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326. Ooh, no. They're real, all right.
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327. Can I borrow this?
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328. Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
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329. Whoa!
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330. You had a bulletproof vest on
when you went inside, didn't you?
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331. Those pants are 87% Kevlar.
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332. It's not an illusion.
Wanda is rewriting reality.
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333. Permanently?
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334. If she can change things
as they go into the Hex...
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335. Ah, you called it the Hex.
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336. What happens if we send something in
that requires no change?
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337. So you're telling me this is a typewriter,
a Rolodex, and a calendar all in one?
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338. What else can it do? Find me a wife?
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339. Eventually, yes.
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340. It's a hell of a thing
watching you work these computers, Vision.
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341. It's like you speak their language.
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342. What do you think, Norm?
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343. Should we surf the Internet?
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344. Cowabunga, dude.
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345. Hey, look, we got electronic mail already.
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346. It's called an e-mail, Norm.
What are you looking for?
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347. Letter opener.
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348. Ah, we don't need that.
We're already cutting edge.
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349. "S.W.O.R.D.
Top secret communiqué. Authenticate.
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350. "Doctor Darcy Lewis'
findings regarding Maximoff's Anomaly.
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351. "High levels of radiation
present at perimeter.
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352. "Effect on Westview residents unknown.
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353. "Please advise."
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354. Well, come on, pal.
What are we gonna write back?
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355. You're the office funny guy.
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356. It's a joke.
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357. Can't you tell?
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358. None of it is real.
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359. Please. Please help me.
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360. What day is it? How long has it been?
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361. Where's my phone?
I have to call my sister.
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362. - Norm.
- She's taking care of our dad, he's sick.
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363. - Where is my phone?
- Calm yourself, Norm.
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364. I can't understand
what you're trying to tell me.
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365. - You have to stop her.
- Stop who?
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366. She's in my head.
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367. None of it is my own.
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368. It hurts. It hurts so much.
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369. Just make her stop.
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370. Just make her stop...
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371. Now tell me this.
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372. If I send an e-mail,
where would I put the stamp?
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373. Technology. Ah.
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374. Sit, Sparky, sit. Good dog.
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375. - Speak.
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376. Nice, Sparky.
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377. Now spin.
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378. Good boy!
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379. Oh! Bravo, Billy!
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380. You weren't so bad either, Sparky.
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381. That was radical.
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382. Where's Dad?
We gotta go show Dad!
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383. Oh, he's... He's at work.
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384. - Huh?
- It's Saturday.
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385. No, it's not. It's Monday.
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386. This morning was Saturday.
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387. There was an emergency at the office
and your father had to go in.
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388. End of story.
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389. Look, he just... He needed a distraction.
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390. From what?
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391. From us?
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392. No! No way! No!
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393. Sometimes your dad and I
aren't on the same page,
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394. but that's just temporary.
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395. Like the two of you,
you might fight over toys,
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396. but he's always going to be your brother.
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397. And he is always going to be yours.
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398. Because family is forever.
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399. Do you have a brother, Mom?
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400. I do.
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401. Yeah. He's far away from here.
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402. And that makes me sad sometimes.
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403. Hey, Sparky, what's up, boy?
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404. Something's scaring him.
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405. Stay here.
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406. Sparky!
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407. I know this is tech from
the '80s, but can we sharpen the visuals?
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408. Working on it.
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409. Maximoff located.
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410. Well done.
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411. We can't see the drone on the broadcast.
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412. Wanda's framing it out of the shot.
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413. Just like all the jump cuts.
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414. Wanda decides what makes it onto her show
and what doesn't.
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415. And here we go. You're up.
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416. Wanda, this is Captain Monica Rambeau.
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417. Can you hear me?
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418. I just want to talk. That's it.
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419. - No joy.
Uh...
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420. Wait, my controls aren't working.
Reconnect patch.
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421. Disregard. Take the shot.
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422. What? No. The drone isn't armed.
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423. Take the shot.
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424. What did you do?
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425. There's a breach, sir.
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426. Is this yours?
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427. The missile was just a precaution.
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428. You can hardly blame us, Wanda.
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429. Oh, I think I can.
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430. This will be your only warning.
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431. Stay out of my home.
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432. You don't bother me. I won't bother you.
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433. I wish it could be that simple.
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434. You've taken an entire town hostage.
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435. Well, I'm not the one
with the guns, Director.
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436. But you are the one in control.
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437. You're still here.
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438. Wanda, I didn't know
the drones were armed.
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439. But you know that, don't you?
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440. A town full of civilians.
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441. And you, a telepath,
brought a S.W.O.R.D. Agent into your home.
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442. You trusted me
to help deliver your babies.
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443. On some level, Wanda,
you know I am an ally.
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444. I wanna help you.
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445. How? What could you
possibly have to offer me?
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446. What do you want?
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447. I have what I want
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448. and no one
will ever take it from me again.
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449. - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
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450. Stand down!
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451. - Wanda!
- Stand down!
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452. - Oh.
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453. You've got a mess,
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454. and you're still using
the next leading brand.
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455. You need Lagos brand paper towels.
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456. The most absorbent paper towel available.
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457. Husbands can use it too, you know.
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458. Lagos. For when you make
a mess you didn't mean to.
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459. Sparky! Come on, boy!
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460. Sparky! Sparky!
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461. - Here, boy! Sparky!
- Hey, what's the trouble, little dudes?
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462. - We can't find our dog.
- Ah, don't worry.
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463. He's sure to turn up.
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464. Your mom won't let him get far. Ma'am.
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465. I don't know where he could've gone.
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466. Here, boy!
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467. - Sparky! Sparky!
- Sparky!
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468. - Sparky!
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469. - I...
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470. I didn't wanna come
until I'd wrapped him up.
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471. What happened to him?
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472. Found him in my azalea bushes.
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473. Don't know how many leaves he ate.
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474. I didn't find him until it was too late.
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475. Oh...
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476. Tommy, Billy, I'm so sorry.
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477. Wait. Don't. Don't.
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478. - Don't what?
- Don't age yourselves up.
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479. The urge to run
from this feeling is powerful.
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480. I know.
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481. It's too sad.
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482. You can fix anything, Mom. Fix the dead.
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483. What?
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484. No.
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485. You can do that?
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486. I am trying to tell you
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487. that there are rules in life, okay?
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488. We can't rush aging
just because it's convenient.
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489. And we can't reverse death.
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490. No matter how sad it makes us.
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491. Okay? Some things are forever.
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492. - You said family is forever.
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493. He is family.
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494. Bring him back, Mom.
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495. Bring who back?
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496. Oh, boys. Come here.
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497. How are the boys?
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498. A little heartbroken,
but they'll be all right.
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499. Well, it's not often you get a dog
and bury them the same day.
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500. Well, life moves pretty fast
out in the suburbs.
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501. I spoke with Norm.
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502. Oh?
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503. I unearthed the man's
suppressed personality
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504. and I spoke to him free of your oversight.
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505. He was in pain, Wanda.
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506. Vision...
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507. - Listen, can we just...
What?
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508. Watch TV?
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509. Turn in for the night so that
you can change everything over again?
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510. No, Wanda.
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511. You can't control me the way you do them.
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512. Can't I?
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513. I'm going to bed.
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514. No! We're not done here.
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515. What is the "Maximoff Anomaly"?
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516. The what?
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517. I have to believe
that this, whatever this is,
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518. was subconscious at first
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519. and that you only
recently became aware of it.
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520. Aware of what?
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521. - Norm has a family, Wanda!
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522. He has a family, and he can't reach them
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523. - because you won't let him reach them!
- I don't know what you're talking about!
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524. Stop lying to me!
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525. - This, all of this is for us.
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526. So let me handle it.
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527. What is outside of Westview?
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528. You don't wanna know, I promise you.
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529. You don't get to make
that choice for me, Wanda!
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530. You've never talked to me
like this before.
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531. Before what? Before what?
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532. I can't remember my life before Westview.
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533. I don't know who I am!
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534. I'm scared!
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535. You are my husband.
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536. You are Tommy and Billy's father.
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537. Isn't that enough?
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538. Wanda, why are there
no other children in Westview?
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539. Oh, God! There are! Just stop it!
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540. No. No.
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541. The playground stands empty
every morning I walk to work.
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542. Why? Tell me why?
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543. Do you really think
that I am controlling everything?
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544. That I am somehow
in charge of everybody in Westview?
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545. I'm walking their dogs,
mowing their lawns,
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546. getting them to
dentist appointments on time?
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547. I mean, I...
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548. I don't know how any of this started
in the first place.
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549. Wanda, what you're doing here, it's wrong.
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550. - I...
- It is wrong.
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551. I didn't do that.
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552. I...
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553. You don't believe me.
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554. Wanda, I want to, but at this point,
I'm ignoring statistics entirely.
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555. Wanda, who is this?
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556. Long lost bro get to squeeze
his stinkin' sister to death or what?
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557. She recast Pietro?
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558. Pietro?
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559. Oh.
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560. Who's the Popsicle?
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