1. Previously on WandaVision.Copy !req
2. I'm Wanda.Copy !req
3. I'm, uh... Geraldine.Copy !req
4. (THROUGH RADIO) Wanda. Wanda?
- Who is that?Copy !req
5. You've got two healthy baby boys
on your hands.Copy !req
6. Is Geraldine inside with Wanda?Copy !req
7. - Can you believe it? Twins!
- (CHUCKLES)Copy !req
8. She's new to town.Copy !req
9. - No home.
- What do you mean, she has no home?Copy !req
10. She came here because we're all...Copy !req
11. She came here
because we're all what?Copy !req
12. What is that symbol?Copy !req
13. Wanda.
- No.Copy !req
14. I think you should leave.Copy !req
15. No, I can't. I can't leave Monica.
Mom?Copy !req
16. It's okay, I can stay with Grandma and...Copy !req
17. I can't leave.Copy !req
18. Maybe I'll build a spaceship.Copy !req
19. I wanna be an aircraft pilot.Copy !req
20. When they were handing
out kids they gave her the toughest one.Copy !req
21. Lieutenant Trouble.Copy !req
22. Somebody help!Copy !req
23. Excuse me...
- They're all coming back.Copy !req
24. We don't have the capacity.Copy !req
25. Excuse me.
I'm looking for a patient. In room 104...Copy !req
26. - Who, my wife? Do you have a phone?
No.Copy !req
27. I have to call my wife.Copy !req
28. Watch out!Copy !req
29. Let me help you.Copy !req
30. - Are you okay? You okay? Take it...
- I got him. I got himCopy !req
31. Are you okay? (GROANS)Copy !req
32. I'm looking for a patient
in room number 104.Copy !req
33. I don't know what to tell you.Copy !req
34. - Monica?
- Oh, Dr. Harley, thank God!Copy !req
35. I can't believe it.Copy !req
36. - (STUTTERS) Uh, I was...
- Where did you go?Copy !req
37. Well, in her room
since she came back from the surgery.Copy !req
38. I mean, I might've have fallen asleep,
but no longer than 20 minutes.Copy !req
39. Dr. Harley, where's my mom?Copy !req
40. Your mom, she died, honey.Copy !req
41. What?Copy !req
42. No. No, no, no, no, you're mistaken.
My mother... The procedure went well.Copy !req
43. You said so yourself. Clean margins.
You're discharging her today.Copy !req
44. The cancer came back.Copy !req
45. Okay, stop, stop. No, you're...
My mom is Maria Rambeau.Copy !req
46. Look it up. I mean...Copy !req
47. - Look it up. "Maria Rambeau."
- Monica,Copy !req
48. I don't understand what's happening,
but you need to listen to me.Copy !req
49. Maria died three years ago.Copy !req
50. - Three? No. No. No, no...
- Which was two years after you...Copy !req
51. After I what?Copy !req
52. After I what?Copy !req
53. After you disappeared.Copy !req
54. Ma'am? Over here, please.Copy !req
55. Hi, good morning. I work here, and...Copy !req
56. If you did, your badge would work.Copy !req
57. Right. Um...Copy !req
58. - I have a meeting with...
- You know who this is?Copy !req
59. this guy.Copy !req
60. Captain Monica Rambeau.Copy !req
61. Director Tyler Hayward.Copy !req
62. Acting Director. You haven't aged a day.Copy !req
63. And you look old as hell.Copy !req
64. Come on, let's catch you up.Copy !req
65. It's been three weeks
and you're the first to report.Copy !req
66. Can't say I'm surprised, Captain.Copy !req
67. How are the numbers
for the astronaut training program?Copy !req
68. Dismal. Lost half my personnel in The BlipCopy !req
69. and half of those remaining
have lost their nerve.Copy !req
70. The program hasn't been the same
since you've been up there, Rambeau.Copy !req
71. Shifted away from manned missions
and refocused on robotics, nanotech, AI.Copy !req
72. Sentient Weapons,
like it says on the door.Copy !req
73. It also says
"Observation and Response"Copy !req
74. on that door, not "Creation."Copy !req
75. World's not
the same as you left it.Copy !req
76. Space is now full of unexpected threats.Copy !req
77. Always was full of threats. And allies.Copy !req
78. Listen, Monica, I just wanna acknowledge
the awkwardness of the situation.Copy !req
79. I know S.W.O.R.D.'s your home.Copy !req
80. Your mom built this place
from the ground up.Copy !req
81. You grew up here.Copy !req
82. You should've been here
to help name the replacement.Copy !req
83. You were the obvious choice.Copy !req
84. - I was the only choice.
- I wasn't gonna say it.Copy !req
85. Look, Tyler, you know the job
you have to do. I'm here to do mine.Copy !req
86. Let's get you back out there.Copy !req
87. The FBI is in a tizzyCopy !req
88. over a missing persons case
up in Jersey...Copy !req
89. - "Missing persons"?
- I know. But they have requested useCopy !req
90. of one of our imaging drones,
and I need a chaperone.Copy !req
91. Tyler, drones usually chaperone me.Copy !req
92. - I get it.
- Look, if this is because of...Copy !req
93. You don't have to worry about me.
I'm good.Copy !req
94. There's no easy way to say this,
but you're grounded.Copy !req
95. - I'm sorry, what?
- Terrestrial missions only.Copy !req
96. (CHUCKLES) You're kidding.Copy !req
97. For how long?
(STUTTERS) Whose protocol is this?Copy !req
98. Your mother's.Copy !req
99. She implemented guidelines in the event
vanished personnel ever returned.Copy !req
100. Look, I know it's a raw deal,
but there is one positive takeaway.Copy !req
101. - (SMACKS LIPS) What's that?
- She believed you'd come back.Copy !req
102. You'd be doing me
a big favor with this FBI thing,Copy !req
103. - but if you need more time...
- No.Copy !req
104. - No. I'm good to go.
- Excellent.Copy !req
105. Keep me updated, Captain.Copy !req
106. Okay. No problem.Copy !req
107. James E. Woo, FBI.Copy !req
108. Monica Rambeau, S.W.O.R.D.Copy !req
109. What's the story here, Agent Woo?Copy !req
110. I've got a witness set up
down the road in Westview,Copy !req
111. and this morning,
it looked like he flew the coop.Copy !req
112. Your missing person
is in the Witness Protection Program?Copy !req
113. I have contacted
known associates, relatives...Copy !req
114. And let me guess,
none of them have seen him either?Copy !req
115. No. None of them have ever heard of him.Copy !req
116. Something seemed hanky to me,
so I took the first flight out of OaklandCopy !req
117. to interface with local law enforcement,
which is when I encountered a new wrinkle.Copy !req
118. What is that?Copy !req
119. - (INDISTINCT CHATTER OVER RADIO)
- Here we go.Copy !req
120. Pardon me, Sheriff.Copy !req
121. Would you mind repeating your claim
about Westview to my colleague here?Copy !req
122. No such place.Copy !req
123. You're saying the town
of Westview, New Jersey, doesn't exist?Copy !req
124. It's what I keep telling your G-Man here,
but he won't listen.Copy !req
125. I see. And, um,
I'm sorry, what town are you from?Copy !req
126. Eastview.Copy !req
127. Thank you, Sheriff. I'll reach out
if we need any further assistance.Copy !req
128. I, uh, pulled phone numbers
for all the residents.Copy !req
129. I'm only through the Ds,
but so far I got Diddly Squat.Copy !req
130. So you can't reach anyone insideCopy !req
131. and everyone on the outside
has some sort of selective amnesia?Copy !req
132. This isn't a missing person's case,
Captain Rambeau, it's a missing town.Copy !req
133. Population 3,892.Copy !req
134. Why haven't you gone inside
to investigate?Copy !req
135. 'Cause it doesn't want me to.Copy !req
136. You can feel it too, can't you?Copy !req
137. Nobody's supposed to go in.Copy !req
138. - What about you?
- Me?Copy !req
139. (CHUCKLES) Well,
I'm from Bakersfield, originally.Copy !req
140. Growin' up, other kids
had Michael Jordan posters on their walls,Copy !req
141. but I had Eliot Ness.Copy !req
142. No, no, no, no. I mean, why is it
that you have an awareness of Westview?Copy !req
143. Or me, for that matter?Copy !req
144. Is it because we are outside
of a certain radius,Copy !req
145. or maybe because we don't have
a personal connection?Copy !req
146. Hmm...Copy !req
147. Wait, where'd it go?
- It was right there.Copy !req
148. Whoa...Copy !req
149. What is it?Copy !req
150. Some sort of energy field.Copy !req
151. Careful, Rambeau.Copy !req
152. Captain Rambeau!Copy !req
153. Watch it.Copy !req
154. Rambeau!Copy !req
155. Captain Rambeau!Copy !req
156. Captain Rambeau!Copy !req
157. Hey.Copy !req
158. - What's your field?
- We're not supposed to talk to each other.Copy !req
159. Hmm? Boy Scout leader.
Got it. (SMACKS LIPS) And you?Copy !req
160. Nuclear Biology.Copy !req
161. Artificial Intelligence.Copy !req
162. Astrophysics.Copy !req
163. (SMACKS LIPS)
We got the full clown car.Copy !req
164. It means whatever the threat is,Copy !req
165. S.W.O.R.D. clearly
has no idea what they're dealing with.Copy !req
166. - I'm a chemical engineer.
- No one cares.Copy !req
167. All right, grab your gear.Copy !req
168. All right. So, uh...Copy !req
169. In the meantime,Copy !req
170. one of you guys check in on Hutch,Copy !req
171. make sure he's ready to get
those drones up in the air. Okay?Copy !req
172. Give him a hand. Thanks.Copy !req
173. Ms. Lewis?Copy !req
174. Dr. Lewis.Copy !req
175. We have your gear set up inside.Copy !req
176. Those drones you're sending in,
what kinda data are you getting?Copy !req
177. I'm afraid that's highly classified.Copy !req
178. You can't see anything?Copy !req
179. FBI, Army. I saw the Air Force Office
of Special Investigations out there.Copy !req
180. Research Lab, Space Command, too.Copy !req
181. A bona fide, joint,
multi-service response.Copy !req
182. Looking forward to commemorative T-shirt.Copy !req
183. Is there somewhere
a lady could get a cup of coffee?Copy !req
184. You guys look like you might get down
with those little pod things.Copy !req
185. - Horrendous for the environment...
- Make your assessment, please.Copy !req
186. Whoa...Copy !req
187. I mean, whoa...Copy !req
188. What're you getting?Copy !req
189. A colossal amount of CMBR.Copy !req
190. - CM...
- Cosmic Microwave Background Radiation.Copy !req
191. We've been told
the radiation is within a safe limit.Copy !req
192. Uh, it is... For now.Copy !req
193. - Wait, what do you mean...
- (SHUSHES)Copy !req
194. There are longer wavelengths
superimposed over the noise here.Copy !req
195. I got it.Copy !req
196. I need a TV. An old one. Like, not flat.Copy !req
197. - You good to go?
Yes, sir.Copy !req
198. These sewers will take you
straight into town.Copy !req
199. - Try to find anything you can on Rambeau.
Copy that.Copy !req
200. Agent Franklin.
We will keep this channel open for you.Copy !req
201. Copy.Copy !req
202. Keep me updated.Copy !req
203. Director Hayward,Copy !req
204. between you, me, and the bedpost,
I am not confident about this mission.Copy !req
205. Thanks for the feedback, Jimmy.
If only my drones were as forthcoming.Copy !req
206. There's no reason to suspect the perimeter
doesn't extend subterraneously.Copy !req
207. There's no reason to suspect it does.Copy !req
208. (SIGHS) We don't know about the nature
of the threat to send another agentCopy !req
209. - when the first is yet to return.
- Someone must miss you back in Quantico.Copy !req
210. No, sir. Softball season's over, sir.Copy !req
211. What do we have up?Copy !req
212. Radar, lidar, sodar, infrared.Copy !req
213. Cycle through.Copy !req
214. Will someone
get me a useful visual, damn it?Copy !req
215. - (STUDIO AUDIENCE LAUGHING OVER TV)
What is that?Copy !req
216. Can I see youCopy !req
217. - in the kitchen, sweetheart?
Who's doing that?Copy !req
218. Who are those people?
What are you wearing?Copy !req
219. Why are they here?
What are you wearing?Copy !req
220. Well, it's our anniversary!
Our anniversary of what?Copy !req
221. Well, if you don't know,
I'm not going to tell you!Copy !req
222. - Is that...
- Yeah, it looks like her.Copy !req
223. You move at the speed of sound,
I can make a pen float.Copy !req
224. Who needs to abbreviate?Copy !req
225. Look, I know it's been a crazy few years
on this planet, but he's dead, right?Copy !req
226. Not blipped, dead.Copy !req
227. Excellent plan. Where's the tenderizer?Copy !req
228. What am I looking at?Copy !req
229. You? What is this?
Where's this coming from?Copy !req
230. Out there.Copy !req
231. You didn't answer the back door.
For your upside-down cake.Copy !req
232. Oh! Hi, I...Copy !req
233. - Is it authentic?
- I'm not sure how to answer that.Copy !req
234. Is it happening in real time?
Is it recorded, fabricated?Copy !req
235. I don't know.
I don't know. And I don't know.Copy !req
236. What do you know?Copy !req
237. My equipment registered
an extremely high level of CMBR. That's...Copy !req
238. Relic radiation
dating back to the Big Bang.Copy !req
239. Yeah, entwined was a broadcast frequency.Copy !req
240. So I had your goons
pick me up a sweet vintage TV.Copy !req
241. And when I plug this bad boy in,
voilà, sound and picture.Copy !req
242. Dinner is served.Copy !req
243. So you're saying the universe created
a sitcom starring two Avengers?Copy !req
244. MRS.(ON TV) European.Copy !req
245. It's a working theory.Copy !req
246. Get me a transport
back to headquarters now.Copy !req
247. - Are we recording this?
- Never stopped.Copy !req
248. I need immediate analysis.
Now, people. Let's go!Copy !req
249. He's a charmer.Copy !req
250. - Great work.
- Hey, thanks!Copy !req
251. Maybe I could get that coffee now?Copy !req
252. Or not. That's cool.Copy !req
253. Aw!Copy !req
254. - (MUSIC PLAYING)
- Aw.Copy !req
255. First and foremost,
our main objectiveCopy !req
256. is to get any intel on Captain Rambeau,Copy !req
257. but originally, this case was a missing
person, so we're going to start there.Copy !req
258. We've successfully identified two
individuals inside the Westview anomaly.Copy !req
259. Let's keep going.Copy !req
260. This guest is leaving your home.Copy !req
261. Yes, thank you for coming.Copy !req
262. Mr. and Mrs. Hart.
Played by Todd and Sharon Davis.Copy !req
263. Computational forms.
And no one can process the dataCopy !req
264. - quite like you do, pal.
- Agent Woo.Copy !req
265. You're like a walking computer.Copy !req
266. Abhilash Tandon is Norm.Copy !req
267. Harold Copter is Jones.Copy !req
268. We got Isabel Matsueida cast as Beverly.Copy !req
269. John Collins as Herb.Copy !req
270. - Really?
Does she seem okay to you?Copy !req
271. Well, she doesn't appear
to be harmed in any way,Copy !req
272. but that is definitely
not the boss lady I met yesterday.Copy !req
273. So what, deep cover?
Monica has to play along?Copy !req
274. With whom? Or else, what?Copy !req
275. All right. Brass tacks, Dr. Lewis.Copy !req
276. What are we lookin' at here?
Is it an alternate reality?Copy !req
277. Time travel?
Some cockamamie social experiment?Copy !req
278. It's a sitcom. A 1950s sitcom.Copy !req
279. But why?Copy !req
280. Hey, man, we're working
with the same scarcity of intel.Copy !req
281. But, listen, I do have an idea.Copy !req
282. So, you've seen that radio
in Wanda's kitchen counter, right?Copy !req
283. The next time she's washing dishes,Copy !req
284. which, by my count,
happens about once an episode, barf,Copy !req
285. we'll shoot a signal to that little guy.Copy !req
286. This transmitter will mimic
the frequency of the broadcast,Copy !req
287. and if my theory is right,
allow us to speak directly to her.Copy !req
288. This is totally gonna work.
Don't touch that.Copy !req
289. Agent Woo.Copy !req
290. Is this from the current episode?Copy !req
291. - Aired about two minutes ago.
- What is it?Copy !req
292. What does it look like to you?Copy !req
293. Like a retro version
of a sword S.W.O.R.D. Drone?Copy !req
294. - Bingo.
- But how did it change and why?Copy !req
295. Uh, to go with the production design?Copy !req
296. Or render it useless.Copy !req
297. - Why'd you colorize it?
- I didn't.Copy !req
298. Let's get this show on the road.Copy !req
299. Jimmy, you ready?Copy !req
300. Ready.Copy !req
301. bigger and better every season.Copy !req
302. Uh, Jimmy, Monica is talking to Wanda.
She's got a speaking part now.Copy !req
303. What is she saying?Copy !req
304. Those pants are peachy keen.Copy !req
305. She likes Wanda's pants.Copy !req
306. We only have a few hours...Copy !req
307. Wanda's at some sort of swim club.
We've never been here before.Copy !req
308. Is it the '60s still?Copy !req
309. Uh, uh,
Wanda's with another character.Copy !req
310. Real person?Copy !req
311. I can't help but wonder
if you and I haven't gotten off...Copy !req
312. Ooh, uh, radio
on the side table. Start talking.Copy !req
313. Wanda. Wanda, can you read me, over?Copy !req
314. I don't...Copy !req
315. - Can she hear me?
- I don't think so. Keep trying.Copy !req
316. Wanda?Copy !req
317. Wanda?Copy !req
318. Wanda. Who is doing this to you, Wanda?Copy !req
319. Wanda? Can you hear me?
I'm here to help you.Copy !req
320. - (BREATHING HEAVILY)
- Please give us a...Copy !req
321. Pop quiz, Wanda.Copy !req
322. How does a housewife
get a bloodstain out of white linen?Copy !req
323. Wait.Copy !req
324. What?
- I don't know.Copy !req
325. By doing it herself.Copy !req
326. That was weird.
- What was?Copy !req
327. They say a man is never fully-dressed
without two important...Copy !req
328. Nothing.Copy !req
329. It's over. Mission failure.Copy !req
330. It was worth a try. Good effort, Doctor.Copy !req
331. Yeah, come on in.Copy !req
332. (OVER RADIO) Agent Franklin,Copy !req
333. we have you five meters
outside of the perimeter.Copy !req
334. Agent Franklin?Copy !req
335. Wanda.Copy !req
336. No.Copy !req
337. - (GRUNTS)
Oh, that's better.Copy !req
338. Darling, do you think it's time to...Copy !req
339. - Call the doctor?
- Yeah. (GROANS)Copy !req
340. Yes, I do, dear.Copy !req
341. 1950s, 1960s, and now the '70s.Copy !req
342. Why does it keep switching time periods?
It can't be purely for my enjoyment.Copy !req
343. And I can't believe
Wanda and Vision are having a baby.Copy !req
344. - You want any?
- (CHUCKLES)Copy !req
345. Heck, I thought about it for sure.Copy !req
346. A little Jimmy Woo. (CHUCKLES)Copy !req
347. Get him a tiny little FBI badge.
Oh, you... Chip? Sure.Copy !req
348. You're doing great.Copy !req
349. You're doing great.
Look at me. Look at me.Copy !req
350. The jig is up.Copy !req
351. - It's time to start pushing. You ready?
Oh!Copy !req
352. Push, Wanda. Push!
- (SCREAMS)Copy !req
353. Hi.Copy !req
354. Oh, he's perfect.Copy !req
355. - Twins.
- (BABY COOING)Copy !req
356. What a twist.Copy !req
357. What? I'm invested.Copy !req
358. He was killed by Ultron,
wasn't he?Copy !req
359. Did she just say the name Ultron?Copy !req
360. Has that happened before?
A reference to our reality.Copy !req
361. No. Never.Copy !req
362. - I'll take a shift rocking the babies.
- No, I think you should leave.Copy !req
363. Oh, Wanda, don't be like that.Copy !req
364. Who are you?Copy !req
365. (SIGHS) Wanda...Copy !req
366. Wow, this is different.Copy !req
367. What happened? Where'd she go?
God, not again.Copy !req
368. Who are you?
- (SIGHS) Wanda...Copy !req
369. There's nothing here.Copy !req
370. One second, Monica is standing
right there, and the next, she isn't.Copy !req
371. - Someone is censoring the broadcast.
- But where's Rambeau?Copy !req
372. (OVER PA) Alert!
Boundary has been breached!Copy !req
373. Alert! Boundary has been breached!Copy !req
374. Alert! Boundary has been breached!Copy !req
375. Who are you?Copy !req
376. I don't...Copy !req
377. Who are you?Copy !req
378. Wanda, I'm just your neighbor.Copy !req
379. Then how did you know about Ultron?Copy !req
380. You're not my neighbor.Copy !req
381. And you're definitely not my friend.Copy !req
382. You are a stranger and an outsider.Copy !req
383. And right now, you are trespassing here.Copy !req
384. And I want you to leave.Copy !req
385. (GULPS) I... I...Copy !req
386. )BABIES COOING)Copy !req
387. Wanda?Copy !req
388. Where is Geraldine?Copy !req
389. Oh, she left, honey. She had to rush home.Copy !req
390. What?Copy !req
391. What is it? What's wrong?Copy !req
392. Uh...Copy !req
393. We don't have to stay here.Copy !req
394. We could go wherever we want.Copy !req
395. No, we can't.Copy !req
396. This is our home.Copy !req
397. Are you sure?Copy !req
398. Oh, don't worry, darling.
I have everything under control.Copy !req
399. Monica, are you okay?Copy !req
400. It's Wanda.Copy !req
401. It's all Wanda.Copy !req
402. - (BABY COOING)
Oh, hi.Copy !req
403. Well, what should we watch tonight?Copy !req