Victorious 1x15

Directed by Steve Hoefer

Eric Lange as Erwin Sikowitz • Lane Napper as Lane Alexander • Michael Eric Reid as Sinjin Van Cleef • Austin Anderson as Drummer

Tori encounters some bad luck when she gets a bad makeup job, which leaves her looking like a zombie. Things go from bad to worse when Tori has to give her first lead performance looking like a zombie on opening night.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. - HOW'S YOUR EGGPLANT?

2. - IT'S FINE. HOW'S YOUR SPAGHETTI?

3. - I HATE YOU. - WHY?

4. - I'M NOT HAVING SPAGHETTI! I'M HAVING SPAGATINI!

5. - WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE? - SPAGATINI IS A VERY THIN NOODLE.

6. SPAGHETTI IS A RELATIVELY FAT NOODLE!

7. WE'VE BEEN OVER THIS!

8. - I FORGOT!

9. - I MEAN, WHY DID WE EVEN TAKE

10. A PASTA CLASS TOGETHER?

11. - AND DONE.

12. - WE'RE DONE? - BUT, WE STILL HAVE A FEW MORE LINES.

13. - NO, I MEANT THIS IS DONE. - WHAT IS THAT?

14. - WELL, IT WAS A JAR OF CREAM, BUT NOW THAT I'VE SHAKEN IT

15. VIGOROUSLY FOR AN HOUR, IT'S BUTTER.

16. - YOU MAKE YOUR OWN BUTTER?

17. - INDEED. - IS IT GOOD?

18. - I DON'T KNOW, I REFUSE TO EAT DAIRY.

19. TORI, BECK, TAKE YOUR SEATS.

20. - IF HE DOESN'T EAT DAIRY, WHY WOULD HE—

21. - I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T GET IT.

22. - ALL RIGHT, FOR THE LAST FEW MINUTES OF CLASS,

23. LET'S TALK ABOUT THE ONE-ACT PLAY I'M DIRECTING.

24. - WELL? - WELL WHAT?

25. - YOU WANNA TALK ABOUT THE ONE-ACT PLAY

26. YOU'RE DIRECTING?

27. - ALL RIGHT.

28. FIRST OF ALL, I WANNA THANK YOU ALL

29. FOR AUDITIONING.

30. THE TWO LEAD ROLES WILL BE PLAYED BY...

31. ANDRE AND ROBBIE.

32. - COOL. - HOT BEEF.

33. - OH, WOULD ANYONE ELSE LIKE TO BE MY GUARDIAN?

34. - DID ANY OF THE REST OF US GET PARTS?

35. - AW, IS A CERTAIN LITTLE REDHEAD

36. HOPING SHE GOT A ROLE IN TEACHER'S PLAY?

37. - SHE IS.

38. - WELL, SHE DIDN'T.

39. BUT I DO NEED SOME HELP WITH THE BACKSTAGE CREW.

40. JADE, CAT, I WANT YOU GIRLS ON LIGHTING.

41. - LIGHTING?

42. - YES, YOU PRONOUNCED IT PERFECTLY.

43. TORI, I WANT YOU TO WORK WITH SINJIN'S TEAM

44. ON SPECIAL EFFECTS.

45. - OKAY, BUT I KNOW LIKE NOTHING ABOUT SPECIAL EFFECTS.

46. - WE'LL TEACH YOU.

47. - LOOKIN' FORWARD TO IT.

48. - UHHH. HEY. HEY. CHEEKBONES?

49. - YES, REX?

50. - YOU GONNA EAT THAT TAQUITO?

51. - I SURE AM.

52. - C'MON, GIMME ONE BITE. - NO.

53. - CAN I SMELL IT? - ROBBIE!

54. - STOP! - GIMME A BATH.

55. - LATER. - AWW.

56. - SO, I HEARD YOU WENT OUT WITH JESSICA WOLF LAST NIGHT.

57. - OH, YES. I DID.

58. - SO? HOW'D IT— - HI, TORI. TORI'S FRIENDS.

59. - SO, YOUR DATE WITH JESSICA?

60. - UH, NOT ACCORDING TO HER LAST UPDATE ON THE SLAP.

61. - WHAT'D SHE WRITE?

62. - IT'S KINDA MEAN.

63. - READ IT!

64. - LAST NIGHT, WORST DATE EVER.

65. - OH.

66. WELL, MAYBE SHE WENT OUT WITH SOME OTHER GUY

67. AFTER SHE WENT OUT WITH ME AND THEN SHE WROTE THAT

68. ABOUT THE OTHER GUY.

69. - DUDE BROUGHT A PUPPET.

70. - A PUPPET?

71. - OH, SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT ME.

72. - I'M SORRY.

73. - AH, WHO CARES?

74. YOU DON'T NEED TO BE HOOKIN' UP WITH SCRUNGE LIKE THAT.

75. - HI, EVERYONE! YEAH.

76. THAT'S RIGHT. FELONY JEANS.

77. AND THEY'RE NOT KNOCK-OFFS.

78. THESE ARE REAL FELONY JEANS.

79. THE REALIO-DEALIO.

80. - REALIO-DEALIO?

81. - I THINK THAT'S SPANISH FOR REAL DEAL.

82. - AND WHAT'S SPANISH FOR DIZZY REDHEAD?

83. - AREN'T FELONY JEANS LIKE SUPER EXPENSIVE?

84. - YES.

85. OH, DO ME A FLAVOR AND PUT THIS CREDIT CARD

86. BACK IN MOM'S PURSE.

87. - WHY DO I HAVE TO PUT IT BACK IN MOM'S...

88. - WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

89. - I'M TRYING TO MAKE MYSELF CRY.

90. - LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE ABOUT TO PUKE.

91. - WANT ME TO JERK A KNOT IN YOUR TAIL?

92. - OH, MY GOD.

93. - WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE YOURSELF CRY?

94. - FOR THE PLAY.

95. I'M SUPPOSED TO CRY IN THE LAST SCENE

96. AND SIKOWITZ SAYS A REAL ACTOR HAS TO CRY REAL TEARS.

97. - SO?

98. - YOU'RE A GREAT ACTOR. - JUST CRY REAL TEARS.

99. - YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO MAKE REAL TEARS COME OUT?

100. I MEAN, I CAN CRY AND MAKE IT LOOK REAL

101. AND SOUND REAL, BUT I DON'T SEE HOW AN ACTOR

102. CAN JUST AUTOMATICALLY MAKE ACTUAL TEARS COME OUT WHENEVER,

103. I MEAN, IT'S LIKE—

104. WELL, WELL YOU ALL ARE GIRLS.

105. IT'S EASIER FOR GIRLS TO CRY.

106. HOW— HOW DO YOU—

107. SOMETIMES, I HAVE TROUBLE NOT CRYING.

108. - OH.

109. - GRADY, TAKE THOSE SAND BAGS UP TO THE CATWALK.

110. - 'KAY.

111. I LOVE THAT THEY CALL THIS A CATWALK.

112. 'CAUSE MY NAME IS CAT, AND LOOK, I'M WALKING.

113. WALKING ON THE CATWALK.

114. - IF SOMEONE WAS PUSHED OFF THIS CATWALK AND THEY LANDED

115. ON THE FLOOR REALLY HARD, DO YOU THINK THEY'D LIVE?

116. - WHY ARE YOU ASKING THAT?

117. - NO REASON.

118. - TORI. - HI.

119. - WE WANNA GIVE YOU THIS T-SHIRT.

120. IT SAYS "SPECIAL EFFECTS CREW."

121. - THANKS. IT LOOKS... USED.

122. - YEAH, THAT WAS MY SHIRT.

123. - WHAT ARE THESE STAINS?

124. - WHO CAN REMEMBER?

125. - YOU CAN'T REMEMBER?

126. - IT HAS ARRIVED.

127. - YEAH. THERE SHE IS.

128. - COOL. WHAT'S THAT?

129. - THIS IS A TURBLOW JET.

130. - TO CREATE THE TORNADO FOR THE PLAY.

131. - OOH, IT BLOWS?

132. - IT BLOWS.

133. - BLOWS.

134. - HMM.

135. - SHOW HER.

136. - WE'LL START ON MEDIUM.

137. SORRY, SINJ.

138. - IT HAPPENS.

139. - WOW, THIS THING'S POWERFUL.

140. - YUP.

141. AND IT DOESN'T JUST BLOW.

142. - YOU FLICK THAT LITTLE RED GUY

143. INTO REVERSE...

144. - IT SUCKS.

145. - SHOW HER.

146. - NOW COME HERE...

147. - WHOA, THAT'S INSANE!

148. - YEAH.

149. - NOW THAT IS SOME SERIOUS SUCKAGE.

150. I WANNA PLAY WITH IT...

151. - HEY. - HEY.

152. - DID YOU FIGURE OUT A WAY TO MAKE YOURSELF CRY YET?

153. - NAH. I TRIED ALL LAST NIGHT.

154. AND IF I DON'T CRY REAL TEARS, SIKOWITZ IS GONNA SAY—

155. AHHHH! WHAT WAS THAT?

156. - LOOK! YOU'RE CRYING.

157. - YEAH! WHAT DID YOU SPRAY IN MY EYES?

158. - BEAST REPELLENT.

159. IT'S POWERFUL ENOUGH TO STOP A MAN

160. OR A MEDIUM-SIZE BEAR.

161. - IT BURNS!

162. - THAT MEANS IT'S WORKING!

163. - OKAY, EVERYONE, WE HAVE 20 MINUTES

164. BEFORE OUR PLAY BEGINS, WHERE IS MY COCONUT MILK?

165. - YOU'RE DRINKING IT.

166. - SO AM I.

167. - CAT, DON'T TURN ON 21.

168. - DON'T WHAT?

169. - TURN ON 21.

170. - 21 ON.

171. - NO, NO, NO.

172. CAT, YOU JUST SHOCKED ME!

173. - I'M SORRY!

174. - OH. HEY, TORI.

175. - WHY AREN'T YOU IN COSTUME?

176. - I'M GOING TO GET CHANGED. WILL YOU WATCH REX FOR ME?

177. - WHY CAN'T YOU JUST TAKE REX WITH YOU?

178. - 'CAUSE I DON'T LIKE TO CHANGE IN FRONT OF HIM.

179. HE— MAKES JOKES.

180. - HEH HEH, YEAH, I DO.

181. - HUSH!

182. WILL YOU JUST KEEP AN EYE ON HIM FOR ME?

183. - SURE.

184. - ALL RIGHT, ADOLESCENTS, LET'S DO SOME QUICK CHECKS!

185. CREW, POSITIONS.

186. SUNSHINE.

187. LOVE IT!

188. CHIRPING BIRDS.

189. NO, NOT A COCK FIGHT.

190. PEACEFUL BIRDS.

191. CHARMING.

192. THUNDERSTORM.

193. EXCELLENT. LIGHTS UP.

194. NEXT, UM, TORI, LET'S SEE THE TORNADO.

195. - FULL-ON? - FULL-ON. BLOW ME AWAY.

196. JUST TURN IT ON.

197. - HERE WE GO.

198. - YOU'RE IN REVERSE. - TORI, TURN IT OFF!

199. - I KNOW, I KNOW, I KNOW...

200. - TURN IT OFF! TURN IT OFF!

201. - OH, MY GOD.

202. - THIS SHIRT'S A LITTLE BIG,

203. BUT I THINK IT LOOKS PRETTY GOOD.

204. WHERE'S REX?

205. - LET ME GO! LET ME GO! REX! WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM? REX!

206. - CALM DOWN. - DON'T LOOK!

207. - IS HE OKAY? IS REX OKAY?

208. AAH! NO. NO, NO, NO, NO, NO,

209. NOOO, NOOO, NOOO!

210. WHAT DID YOU DO?

211. - I— I JUST— I JUST— UM—

212. - REX? REX, CAN YOU HEAR ME?

213. - OH. OH. IS THAT YOU, ROB?

214. - ROBBIE'S HERE. IT'S ME. IT'S OKAY.

215. - I'M— I'M BUSTED UP PRETTY BAD.

216. - I'VE GOTTA GET HIM TO THE HOSPITAL.

217. - ROBBIE... - I'VE GOT TO!

218. - ROBBIE!

219. YOU'RE STARRING IN THIS PLAY.

220. THE AUDIENCE IS OUTSIDE WAITING TO COME IN.

221. IT'S YOUR JOB TO ENTERTAIN THEM—

222. NO MATTER WHAT.

223. - OH. I FEEL COLD.

224. - SOMEBODY'S GOTTA TAKE REX TO THE HOSPITAL.

225. - I'LL TAKE HIM. - I'LL DRIVE.

226. - I'LL GO, TOO.

227. - OKAY, DOES ANYONE ELSE THINK THIS IS BIZARRE?

228. C'MON, IT CAN'T JUST BE ME.

229. - ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, IT'S SHOWTIME!

230. WHAT'D I MISS?

231. - TORI TRIED TO MURDER REX.

232. - SINJIN!

233. LET ME HAVE HIM.

234. - NO.

235. - WE'LL TAKE HIM TO THE HOSPITAL.

236. - OKAY.

237. - I GOT HIM.

238. - TAKE CARE OF HIM.

239. - I PROMISE.

240. - WELL, I'M NOT MISSING THIS.

241. - HEY. WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.

242. WAIT UP. - WHAT?

243. - WHERE ARE YOU ALL GOING?

244. - TO THE HOSPITAL.

245. - CAT...

246. - WE'RE NOT REALLY GOING TO A HOSPITAL.

247. IT'S A PUPPET.

248. - NOT TO ROBBIE.

249. - YOU KNOW WHAT?

250. MAYBE WE SHOULD TAKE REX TO THE HOSPITAL.

251. - WHY? - SO HE CAN DIE THERE.

252. - JADE...

253. - IT'S NOT GOOD FOR A 16-YEAR-OLD GUY

254. TO GO THROUGH LIFE WITH HIS HAND

255. SHOVED UP A— THAT.

256. MAYBE THIS HAPPENED FOR A REASON.

257. - BUT IF REX DIES, ROBBIE'S GONNA—

258. - GET OVER IT AND BECOME A NORMAL PERSON?

259. YEAH, THAT'D BE TRAGIC.

260. - SHE'S GOT A POINT.

261. - I USED TO THINK MY UNCLE JESSE WAS A NORMAL PERSON,

262. BUT THEN I FOUND OUT THAT EVERY SUNDAY,

263. HE SOAKS HIS FEET IN CHICKEN FAT.

264. - LET'S TAKE REX TO THE HOSPITAL.

265. - YEAH. - LET'S GO. - OKAY.

266. - BUT HE'S A PUPPET.

267. - YEAH, YEAH, WE KNOW HE'S A PUPPET.

268. - LOOK, WE JUST WANT YOU TO HOOK HIM UP

269. TO ONE OF THOSE BEEPY MACHINES AND WHEN OUR FRIEND ROBBIE

270. GETS HERE, PRETEND HE DIES.

271. - YOU WANT ME TO PRETEND THIS PUPPET DIES?

272. - IS THERE ANY GOOD REASON WHY A GROWN MAN WOULD SOAK HIS FEET

273. IN CHICKEN FAT?

274. - CHICKEN FAT?

275. - WHY DON'T YOU GO MAKE FRIENDS WITH THE NICE LADY AT THE DESK?

276. - 'KAY-KAY.

277. HI.

278. - SO WILL YOU DO IT?

279. - LOOK, I'M A DOCTOR. THIS IS A HOSPITAL.

280. I CAN'T JUSTIFY PRETENDING THAT A PUPPET—

281. - COME ON, DOC. - JUST DO IT.

282. - PLEASE?

283. - WILL YOU DO SOMETHING FOR ME?

284. - WHAT?

285. - I HAVE A 16-YEAR-OLD SON. HIS NAME IS LENDLE

286. AND HE'S, UM, WELL, HE'S A LOSER.

287. WOULD YOU GO OUT ON A DATE WITH HIM?

288. - HOW MUCH OF A LOSER?

289. OH, MY GOD.

290. - YEAH.

291. - LOOK, I—

292. - TORI WOULD LOVE TO GO OUT WITH LENDLE.

293. - REALLY?

294. - ONE HOUR, AND IT HAS TO BE A DARK RESTAURANT.

295. - DONE. BRING THE PUPPET.

296. - I DON'T KNOW WHY YOUR UNCLE WOULD SOAK HIS FEET

297. IN CHICKEN FAT.

298. UH, WHY ARE YOU HERE?

299. - OH, 'CAUSE THIS PUPPET HAD A REALLY BAD ACCIDENT

300. AND GOT HURT.

301. BUT HE DOESN'T LIKE TO BE CALLED A PUPPET.

302. - MM-HMM.

303. AND HOW DID THIS PUPPET GET HURT?

304. - SEE, WELL, MY FRIEND TORI WAS TRYING TO MAKE

305. A TORNADO HAPPEN, BUT SHE DID IT WRONG

306. SO THE PUPPET FLEW ACROSS THE ROOM

307. INTO A BIG JET FAN.

308. - OOH, A FLYING PUPPET.

309. - YEAH.

310. - THAT'S TOO BAD.

311. UH, WILLIAM, WOULD YOU PLEASE TAKE THIS YOUNG LADY

312. TO OUR "SPECIAL ROOM" IN SECTION D?

313. - OF COURSE.

314. COME ALONG.

315. - OOH, AN ADVENTURE.

316. - WOW. THAT LOOKS SO REAL.

317. - SO WHEN THIS ROBBIE KID GETS HERE—

318. - YOU JUST SAY THAT REX ISN'T DOING WELL,

319. LET HIM SAY GOOD-BYE, AND THEN BEEEEEEP.

320. DEAD REX.

321. - WHY CAN'T MY SON BE HANDSOME LIKE YOU?

322. - HEY, WHAT'S THIS?

323. - OH, THIS IS JUST A FATTY LUMP THAT I REMOVED

324. FROM A CAB DRIVER'S BACK.

325. - CAN I HAVE IT?

326. - WHAT SCHOOL DO YOU KIDS GO TO?

327. I HAVE TO GO SEE ANOTHER PATIENT.

328. I'LL BE BACK IN 20 MINUTES.

329. - WHY WOULD YOU WANT—

330. - I'D LIKE TO LOOK AT IT.

331. - IT'S JUST A LITTLE WEIRD.

332. WHO TEXTED? - ANDRE.

333. THEY HAVE ONE MORE SCENE LEFT IN THE PLAY

334. AND THEN HE'S GONNA BRING ROBBIE HERE.

335. - GOOD.

336. ONE HOUR FROM NOW, YOU DEAD.

337. - HEY, WHERE'S CAT?

338. - SO, WHAT ARE THESE FOR?

339. - THEY KEEP YOU FROM HURTING YOURSELF.

340. - OH. NEAT.

341. BYE

342. BONK.

343. BONK.

344. THEY WORK.

345. THIS DOESN'T HURT AT ALL.

346. BONK. BONK, BONK.

347. BONKITY BONK, BONK, BONK.

348. I'M CUBE-FIST-MAN!

349. BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK...

350. - ANDRE AND ROBBIE ARE COMING.

351. - GOOD.

352. - FOUND HIM.

353. - I WAS TRYING TO STOP THAT MAN FROM CHOKING!

354. - YEAH, THIS IS REALLY IMPORTANT.

355. - YOU GOT YOUR MACHINE SET FOR REX TO DIE?

356. - YEAH. IT'LL FLAT-LINE IN EXACTLY 15 MINUTES.

357. - SHHH! EVERYONE GET READY, GET READY!

358. - OH, REX!

359. IS HE GONNA BE OKAY?

360. - I'M, I'M AFRAID HIS INJURIES ARE VERY SERIOUS.

361. - THEY DON'T THINK HE'S GONNA MAKE IT.

362. - WHAT IN THE NAME A'NANCY'S GOIN' ON HERE?

363. - I'LL LEAVE YOU AND REX ALONE, SO YOU CAN SAY YOUR GOOD-BYES.

364. - WAIT. TORI, WILL YOU STAY?

365. - OH, NO. WHY ME?

366. - WELL, FOR ONE THING, YOU CAUSED THIS.

367. - OH.

368. - AND I JUST REALLY NEED THE COMFORT OF A WOMAN.

369. - YEP. YEP. I KNOW. IT'S SAD.

370. - HELLOOO?

371. MY NOSE ITCHES AND I CAN'T SCRATCH IT!

372. HELLOOO?

373. BIG MAN WHO BROUGHT ME IN HERE?

374. OH, I KNOW.

375. OOOPS.

376. COME HERE, NOSE.

377. TIME TO GET SCRATCHED.

378. OOH, HERE WE GO.

379. - WE BETTER CALL IN A SPECIALIST.

380. - AAH!

381. I'LL NEVER FORGET THE TIME WE WENT TO MYSTIC MOUNTAIN,

382. AND I WAS TOO SCARED TO GO ON THE BIG ROLLER COASTER,

383. SO YOU CALLED ME A WIENIE, AND I WENT ON.

384. I ENDED UP HAVING A GREAT TIME, EVEN THOUGH I DID PEE MY PANTS

385. ON THE LOOP-DEE-LOOP.

386. AND, AND I KNOW TORI'S SORRY FOR WHAT SHE DID TO YOU.

387. SHE DIDN'T MEAN TO SUCK YOU INTO A JET-POWERED

388. DEATH MACHINE.

389. - I REALLY DIDN'T.

390. - I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO SAY TO HIM.

391. - I THINK YOU'VE SAID ENOUGH.

392. - YEAH. I JUST— WAIT!

393. WILL YOU SING HIS FAVORITE SONG TO HIM WITH ME?

394. - WHAT SONG?

395. - FOREVER, BABY BY MICHAEL CORCORAN.

396. DO YOU KNOW IT?

397. - UH, I DON'T KNOW.

398. MAYBE THE CHORUS?

399. - THAT'S HIS FAVORITE PART.

400. COME ON.

401. - WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. SING IT ON KEY.

402. - IT WAS ON KEY!

403. - YOU WERE JUST A LITTLE BIT FLAT.

404. - NO, I WAS NOT— ALL RIGHT.

405. - I'M SORRY.

406. - NO!

407. - I'M SORRY.

408. COME, THERE'S A QUIET ROOM WHERE YOU CAN SIT

409. WITH YOUR FRIENDS.

410. - ROBBIE! COME BACK!

411. REX IS OKAY! DOCTOR! ROBBIE!

412. - WHAT HAPPENED? - I DUNNO.

413. IT STARTED BEEPING AGAIN.

414. - WHAT? - HE'S ALIVE?

415. - YEAH! I THINK I EVEN HEARD HIM SAY SOMETHING!

416. - REX! REX, CAN YOU HEAR ME?

417. SPEAK TO ME, BUDDY!

418. - REX. REX.

419. - REX. IT'S A MIRACLE!

420. - YOU STILL HAVE TO GO ON A DATE WITH MY SON.

421. - AW. WAIT, DOES IT HAVE TO BE ME?

422. - YOU PROMISED.

423. - BUT I KNOW ANOTHER GIRL FOR LENTIL.

424. - LENDLE. - LENDLE.

425. - YOU SAID LENDLE WAS A SUPER-HOT GUITAR PLAYER.

426. NO, LENDLE'S A LOSER.

427. I'M GONNA GET YOU, TORI.

428. - GOING TO THESLAP.COM IS LIKE...

429. - IT'S A SLAP.

430. - ... A WONDERFUL BOWL

431. OF HOT FRESH MILK.

432. THESLAP.COM.

433. - IT'S LIKE BEING SLAPPED BY THE INTERNET.

434. - OKAY.

435. - NO, THAT'S, THAT'S DISTURBING.

436. YEAH.

437. - COULD I GET A RUBBER BAND?

438. - MMM!

439. I'M CUBE-FIST MAN!