Victorious 1x11

Directed by Steve Hoefer

Eric Lange as Erwin Sikowitz • Lane Napper as Lane Alexander • Michael Eric Reid as Sinjin Van Cleef

Tori can't figure out why Jade, Beck, André, Cat, and Robbie won't let her join the Hollywood Arts ping-pong team.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. - LISTEN, I NEED YOUR GUYS' HELP.

2. - OH, HEY. - OH, HEY, TORI.

3. - HOW'S IT GOING? - WHAT'S UP?

4. - WELL, AFTER SCHOOL I WAS THINKING WE SHOULD ALL

5. GO HANG OUT AT THE GROVE.

6. YOU WANNA-WANNA?

7. - UHH... - OOOH.

8. - WE REALLY CAN'T. - HOW COME?

9. - WELL, UH, WE HAVE PING PONG PRACTICE.

10. - MM-HMM. - UH-HUH.

11. - SHUT UP.

12. - IT'S TRUE. - YEAH.

13. WE'RE ALL ON THE PING PONG TEAM.

14. - ME, ANDRE, ROBBIE, BECK, AND JADE.

15. - THERE'S NO PING PONG TEAM AT HOLLYWOOD ARTS.

16. - AAHH.

17. LISTEN, TORI, UM,

18. YOU'RE STILL KINDA NEW HERE

19. AND THERE'S SOME THINGS THAT YOU JUST DON'T UNDER—

20. WHAT KIND OF GUM ARE YOU CHEWING?

21. - I DON'T KNOW. SINJIN MADE IT.

22. - SMELL HER MOUTH.

23. - SURE.

24. HMM, SMELLS LIKE...

25. THAT TRIP WE TOOK TO ACAPULCO LAST YEAR. - YES!

26. - OH, YOU HAVE MEXICAN-FLAVORED GUM?

27. - MEXICAN'S NOT A FLAVOR!

28. - THANK YOU.

29. - LOOK, IF YOU GUYS DON'T WANNA HANG OUT WITH ME,

30. THEN JUST SAY SO.

31. WHY MAKE UP A LIE THAT YOU'RE ALL

32. ON SOME PING PONG TEAM?

33. - HEY, TORI. - HOW'S IT GOING?

34. - WHAT'S UP?

35. - OKAY, SO NOW YOU'RE GONNA PRETEND

36. LIKE WE'RE NOT HAVING THE CONVERSATION WE'RE HAVING.

37. - ABOUT WHAT? - THE BIG PING PONG TEAM LIE.

38. - LOOK, IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE US THEN GO TO THE REC ROOM.

39. - YOU CAN SEE ALL THE TROPHIES WE'VE WON.

40. - FIRST PLACE. - REALLY?

41. - YEAH. - PLEASE.

42. - OKAY. THEN I WANNA TRY OUT FOR THE TEAM.

43. - WHAT? - LOOK, IF YOU WANNA TRY OUT

44. FOR THE PING PONG TEAM,

45. THEN YOU HAVE TO TALK TO THE TEAM CAPTAIN.

46. - FINE. WHO'S THE TEAM CAPTAIN?

47. - JADE. - UCK.

48. - OR YOU COULD JOIN MY TEAM.

49. I CALL IT REX'S ALL HOT CHICK VOLLEYBALL SQUAD.

50. YEAH, NO.

51. - TORI!

52. - JUST GET IT OFF MY NOSE.

53. SNATCH IT OFF.

54. - UGH. OOH...

55. - AW, MAN, IT'S THE STRETCHY KIND.

56. - JADE!

57. JADE! JADE!

58. I'M NOT GOING AWAY— AND YOU CAN'T JUST SAY NO.

59. (PITCH VARYING) - NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

60. - ALL RIGHT, WELL, YOU CAN.

61. LANE, CAN YOU COME HERE PLEASE?

62. DON'T MOVE.

63. - I'M STAYING HERE BECAUSE I WANNA STAY HERE. - WHAT'S UP?

64. - JADE IS THE CAPTAIN OF THE PING PONG TEAM

65. AND I WANNA TRY OUT, AND SHE SAYS I CAN'T.

66. - YUP, THAT'S WHAT I SAYS.

67. - OH, COME ON. WHY DO YOU ALL HAVE TO DRAG ME

68. INTO YOUR PROBLEMS?

69. - UH, YOU'RE THE GUIDANCE COUNSELOR HERE.

70. CAN WE HAVE SOME GUIDANCE?

71. - ALL RIGHT.

72. - ALL RIGHT, I'VE ALREADY GOT IT LOADED IN HERE.

73. - OKAY, WHAT?

74. - SEE, LOOK WHAT IT SAYS

75. ON THE OFFICIAL HOLLYWOOD ARTS WEBSITE. (JADE GROANING)

76. - MY LIFE IS SLIPPING AWAY.

77. - READ IT.

78. - "ALL STUDENTS ARE ENCOURAGED

79. "TO PARTICIPATE IN SCHOOL SANCTIONED EVENTS,

80. CLUBS AND SPORTS TEAMS."

81. - AND HOW CAN I PARTICIPATE IN PING PONG

82. IF THE TEAM CAPTAIN HERE

83. REFUSES TO EVEN LET ME TRY OUT?

84. - YOU GOTTA LET HER TRY OUT.

85. - WE DON'T NEED MORE PLAYERS.

86. - READ THE PHONE, JADE.

87. READ THE PHONE.

88. - OH!

89. OH!

90. - WELL?

91. - YOU DIDN'T MAKE THE TEAM.

92. - W-WHAT? I BEAT EVERYBODY.

93. - I DON'T CARE.

94. READ THE SCHOOL WEBSITE.

95. - "WHEN A STUDENT TRIES OUT FOR

96. "A SPORTS TEAM FOR WHICH THERE IS NO COACH,

97. "THE TEAM CAPTAIN SHALL DECIDE IF THE STUDENT IS GRANTED

98. OR DENIED ACCEPTANCE TO THE TEAM."

99. - CAPTAIN SAYS DENIED.

100. - BUT YOU CAN'T— YOU CAN'T JUST...

101. - READ THE PHONE, TORI.

102. READ THE PHONE.

103. - DON'T YOU STEAL MY PHONE-IN-FACE BIT.

104. HELLO, SINJIN.

105. - OH, MY GOD. THIS IS EXACTLY

106. HOW I DREAMED IT WOULD HAPPEN.

107. - LISTEN, I NEED YOU TO DO SOMETHING FOR ME,

108. AND YOU CAN'T TELL ANYONE.

109. - I UNDERSTAND.

110. - GOOD. NOW, WHAT I NEED YOU TO DO IS—

111. SINJIN!

112. - DON'T TALK. YOU'LL RUIN IT.

113. - THIS ISN'T ABOUT KISSING.

114. - AND THAT'S HOW THE DREAM ALWAYS ENDS.

115. - DUDE, YOU KNOW ALL THOSE COOL PROPS

116. AND SCENERY PIECES YOU MADE FOR THE PLAY BECK WAS IN LAST MONTH? - YEAH.

117. - I NEED YOU TO BUILD SOMETHING FOR ME.

118. - LIKE WHAT? - SOMETHING BIG ENOUGH FOR ME TO HIDE IN

119. AND SPY ON THE PING PONG TEAM DURING THEIR NEXT PRACTICE,

120. BECAUSE I SWEAR THERE'S SOMETHING WONKY

121. GOING ON WITH THOSE GUYS AND I'M GONNA GET

122. TO THE BOTTOM OF THAT WONK!

123. - DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU SPRAYED ME WITH?

124. 'CAUSE I'M STARTING TO LOSE VISION IN MY RIGHT EYE.

125. - HERE'S A RAG.

126. SO, WILL YOU BUILD ME SOMETHING

127. I CAN PUT IN THE REC ROOM AND HIDE IN?

128. - SURE. - YAY! THANKS, SINJIN.

129. - HERE COMES THAT FEELING.

130. - I HEARD THAT.

131. - OH, MY GOD.

132. - MAN, THIS IS THE BEST PING PONG PRACTICE EVER.

133. - I LOVE THIS GAME.

134. - WAIT, WAIT, WAIT— DON'T LEAN ON ME.

135. OH! THAT WAS A FOUL!

136. - YOU'RE A FOUL. - OW! THAT TICKLES.

137. - OKAY! LET'S START OVER.

138. - ALL RIGHT. - OKAY, OKAY.

139. WAIT, LET ME GET A DRINK FIRST.

140. - YEAH, ME, TOO. - AH.

141. - WHAT'S WRONG? - I THINK I PULLED A MUSCLE.

142. - YOU CAN'T PULL WHAT YOU DON'T HAVE.

143. - WHAT UP WITH THIS MACHINE? IT ATE MY DOLLAR.

144. - ALL RIGHT, LET THE DOCTOR HANDLE THIS.

145. - GO, DOC.

146. - GUYS, GUYS, TRY ROCKING IT. - ALL RIGHT.

147. - WHOA! (SCREAMING FROM INSIDE VENDING MACHINE)

148. DID THAT MACHINE JUST SCREAM LIKE A TEENAGE GIRL?

149. - ALL RIGHT.

150. WHO PUT ME IN THE SODA MACHINE?

151. - UP AND OVER, UP AND OVER. - COME ON, LET'S GO.

152. - I GOT IT, I GOT IT. BUZZ OFF!

153. - WHY WERE YOU HIDING IN THERE SPYING ON US?

154. - 'CAUSE I HAD A FEELING

155. YOUR GUYS' PING PONG TEAM WAS JUST A BIG FAKE,

156. AND I WAS RIGHT.

157. YOU WEREN'T PRACTICING PING PONG.

158. YOU WERE PLAYING RETRO PARTY GAMES.

159. SO WHAT IS UP?

160. - LET'S JUST TELL HER.

161. - NO. - YES.

162. - I THINK WE SHOULD TELL HER.

163. - WHY DON'T WE JUST DRIVE HER OUT TO THE DESERT

164. AND DROP HER OFF?

165. - REX!

166. - SHE KNOWS TOO MUCH.

167. - TELL HER.

168. - THERE'S NO REAL PING PONG TEAM.

169. - (SHOUTING VICTORIOUSLY)

170. THEN WHAT'S THIS ALL ABOUT?

171. - WELL, IT ALL STARTED TWO YEARS AGO

172. WHEN THE SCHOOL PUT THAT PING PONG TABLE IN THIS ROOM.

173. WE JUST WALKED IN,

174. AND THERE IT WAS.

175. THEN ROBBIE SUGGESTED THAT WE FORM

176. AN OFFICIAL PING PONG TEAM HERE AT HOLLYWOOD ARTS

177. TO COMPETE AGAINST OTHER SCHOOLS.

178. (JADE) - SO I SLAPPED ROBBIE HARD

179. ON TOP OF HIS HEAD.

180. (ROBBIE) - IT REALLY HURT.

181. IT REALLY HURT.

182. - I HEARD THAT. SO?

183. - SO A FEW DAYS LATER,

184. ME, ANDRE, JADE, AND ROBBIE WERE HANGIN' OUT.

185. (JADE) - WHEN CAT WALKED UP.

186. (ANDRE) - SHE WAS ALL PUMPED UP

187. ABOUT SOME FANCY RESTAURANT

188. HER PARENTS TOOK HER TO THE WEEKEND BEFORE.

189. (CAT) - THEY HAD AMAZING STEAKS AND CRAB CAKES,

190. AND LOBSTER MASHED POTATOES, AND CLASSY LIVE MUSIC,

191. AND THE MOST INSANE DESSERTS I HAD EVER TASTED.

192. (ANDRE) - WHICH ALL SOUNDED PRETTY GOOD TO US.

193. (ROBBIE) - SO I SAID,

194. "WELL, WE GOTTA GO THERE."

195. (CAT) - AND I TOLD ROBBIE

196. THERE WAS NO WAY WE COULD GO THERE

197. 'CAUSE IT'S REALLY EXPENSIVE.

198. - WHERE IS THIS STORY GOING?

199. - IT ACTUALLY GETS WEIRDER.

200. - YOU SEE, WHEN CAT TOLD US

201. THAT THE RESTAURANT WAS TOO EXPENSIVE—

202. - I REMEMBERED SOMETHING BECK HAD TOLD ME,

203. ABOUT ALL THE SPORTS TEAMS AT HOLLYWOOD ARTS

204. GETTING A MINIMUM OF $1,500 A YEAR

205. TO PAY FOR TRAVEL AND EQUIPMENT.

206. AND THAT'S WHEN I GOT THE IDEA.

207. - WELL, WHAT WAS THE IDEA?

208. - OH, RIGHT. I WAS TELLING A STORY.

209. UH... I SAID, "MAYBE WE SHOULD FORM

210. "A FAKE PING PONG TEAM,

211. "TAKE THE 1,500 BUCKS

212. "AND USE THE MONEY FOR ALL OF US TO HAVE A FANCY DINNER

213. AT THE RESTAURANT CAT TOLD US ABOUT."

214. (ROBBIE) - AT FIRST, WE THOUGHT JADE'S IDEA WAS CRAZY.

215. (ANDRE) - BUT AFTER WE EXCHANGED SOME LOOKS...

216. (CAT) - WE STARTED TO THINK IT MIGHT BE A PRETTY COOL IDEA.

217. (BECK) - BUT THEN ROBBIE SAID, "WAIT."

218. (ROBBIE) - I REMINDED EVERYONE THAT ALL SPORTS TEAMS

219. ARE REQUIRED TO HAVE AT LEAST ONE FACULTY ADVISOR.

220. (ANDRE) - SO, WE WENT TO THE ONLY TEACHER WE COULD TRUST.

221. (BECK) - SIKOWITZ.

222. (CAT) - BUT HE TOLD US OUR PLAN

223. WAS WAY TOO DEVIOUS, AND ILLEGAL.

224. (ANDRE) - BUT THEN HE SAID,

225. "HEY, DID YOU HEAR THAT PRINCIPAL EIKNER

226. MIGHT GET FIRED?"

227. - HELP ME.

228. - SEE, THE PRINCIPAL'S BOSS...

229. - THE SUPERINTENDENT.

230. - WAS MAD 'CAUSE HOLLYWOOD ARTS DIDN'T HAVE

231. ANY WINNING SPORTS TEAMS.

232. - AND HE TOLD PRINCIPAL EIKNER,

233. "AT LEAST ONE TEAM BETTER BRING HOME

234. "A TROPHY THIS YEAR OR ELSE...

235. YOU'RE FIRED."

236. - SO I SAID TO SIKOWITZ,

237. "WHAT IF THE FIVE OF US..."

238. (REX) - "SIX."

239. "SIX OF US, PRETEND TO GO

240. TO A PING PONG TOURNAMENT..."

241. (BECK) - "TAKE THE 1,500 BUCKS

242. THE SCHOOL GIVES US..."

243. (ANDRE) - "USE 400 OF IT TO BUY

244. A NICE TROPHY FOR THE SCHOOL..."

245. (CAT) - "WHICH WOULD KEEP PRINCIPAL EIKNER

246. FROM GETTING FIRED..."

247. (JADE) - "AND THEN USE THE REST OF OUR MONEY

248. "TO TAKE OUR FAVORITE TEACHER

249. TO THE RESTAURANT CAT TOLD US ABOUT..."

250. (ROBBIE) - "AND HAVE THE MOST AMAZING DINNER OF OUR LIVES."

251. (JADE) - AND THEN, SIKOWITZ WAS ON BOARD.

252. - SO YOU GUYS FORMED A FAKE PING PONG TEAM

253. SO YOU COULD GET SOME MONEY,

254. BUY A TROPHY FOR THE SCHOOL,

255. SAVE THE PRINCIPAL'S JOB,

256. AND TAKE SIKOWITZ OUT

257. FOR A BIG, FANCY DINNER?

258. - YEAH, I GUESS WE COULD HAVE JUST TOLD IT THAT WAY.

259. - SO, ARE YOU GONNA BUST US NOW AND RUIN EVERYTHING?

260. - NO. IF...

261. - IF WHAT?

262. - AND I'M VERY PROUD

263. TO ANNOUNCE THE NEWEST MEMBER

264. OF THE HOLLYWOOD ARTS PING PONG TEAM,

265. TORI...

266. "THE PADDLEPUS"... VEGA!

267. NOW, WISH US ALL LUCK,

268. AND HOPEFULLY WE'LL BRING HOME YET ANOTHER

269. FIRST PLACE TROPHY FOR HOLLYWOOD ARTS!

270. ALL TEAM MEMBERS—

271. IN MY VAN.

272. (ROBBIE) - THANK YOU, THANK YOU.

273. (REX) - HEY, LOOK AT THAT.

274. SHAG CARPETING!

275. - OH, MY GOD.

276. - OH.

277. OH, MY GOD, BEST FOOD EVER. - RIGHT?

278. - SO GOOD. - MM-HMM.

279. - TO PING PONG.

280. (ALL) - TO PING PONG.

281. - (TORI) TO THE PONG, TO THE PING. - (REX) AW, SHUT UP.

282. (WOMAN) - I CAN'T BELIEVE WHAT SHE'S WEARING.

283. - YES, I'M WEARING A PING PONG UNIFORM.

284. - HOW COULD YOU NOT THINK TO BRING A FANCY DRESS?

285. - I DON'T KNOW. I JUST DIDN'T, OKAY?

286. - YOU SAID YOU REMINDED EVERYONE TO BRING NICE CLOTHES.

287. - I DID. - YOU DIDN'T REMIND ME.

288. - WHOOPS.

289. - HOW'S EVERYONE DOING?

290. - OH! - IT'S SO GOOD.

291. - IT'S AMAZING. - GOOD, GOOD, GOOD.

292. - OH, WAIT, MA'AM. - YES?

293. - WHAT IS THIS AWESOME DIP?

294. - THAT'S CAVIAR.

295. - IT'S FANTASTIC.

296. CAN I GET A BIG BOWL OF IT?

297. - A BIG BOWL?

298. - YEAH, LIKE A BOWL FOR SOUP

299. BUT FILLED WITH THIS CAVIAR STUFF?

300. - AH, SURE.

301. I'LL BRING THAT RIGHT TO YOUR TABLE.

302. - YOU'RE VERY KIND.

303. - IS EVERYONE HAPPY TONIGHT?

304. - (ALL PRAISING) - OH, WONDERFUL.

305. HOW IS YOUR DRINK, SIR?

306. - VERY MOIST. THANK YOU.

307. - TWO MORE PEOPLE ARE COMPLAINING THERE'S NO LIVE MUSIC.

308. - SO OFFER THEM A FREE DESSERT.

309. - I DID. THEY'RE STILL UPSET.

310. - EXCUSE ME.

311. - HERE YOU ARE. - OH, THANK YOU, DEAR.

312. - ARE YOU SURE? - YES.

313. THEY CAN'T GROW LOBSTER-FLAVORED POTATOES.

314. - UH... UHHH—

315. UH, IT'S SO GOOD!

316. BUT I'M SO FULL.

317. - COME ON, MAN UP. HERE WE GO. HUH?

318. OH, THERE IT IS. THERE IT IS.

319. THAT'S NICE, ISN'T IT?

320. JUST... - THANK YOU.

321. - BREATHE THROUGH IT. - YOU'RE A GOOD FRIEND.

322. - OKAY... WHAT IF, LIKE, A FARMER PLANTED

323. A LOBSTER AND A POTATO IN THE SAME HOLE?

324. - (SIGHING)

325. - MAYBE IT WOULD GROW A LOBTATO.

326. - YES, CAT. A LOBTATO WOULD GROW—

327. I'LL TELL THE FARMERS.

328. - HERE'S YOUR CHECK.

329. - THANK YOU.

330. MMM...

331. WHAT THE HAIR BONES?

332. - WHAT?

333. - IT'S $1,300.

334. (ALL) - WHAT?

335. - IT'S NEVER BEEN OVER 700.

336. - WAY TO GO, TORI.

337. - I ORDERED THE SAME THING YOU DID.

338. - WAIT, WAIT, I SEE THE PROBLEM.

339. THEY MISTAKENLY CHARGED US AN EXTRA $600 FOR CAVIAR.

340. - OH. - HA HA...

341. EXCUSE ME, SIR?

342. - HI, IS ANYTHING WRONG? - YES.

343. WE WERE MISTAKENLY CHARGED

344. FOR $600 WORTH OF CAVIAR.

345. - OH, THAT'S NOT A MISTAKE.

346. THAT AWKWARD YOUNG MAN ORDERED A LARGE BOWL OF CAVIAR.

347. - MAN, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?

348. - HEY, I DIDN'T ORDER ANY CAVIAR.

349. - ROBBIE! - I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS THAT EXPENSIVE.

350. (SIKOWITZ) - ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT!

351. HUSH!

352. ROBBIE CAN'T HELP WHAT HE IS.

353. NEVERTHELESS, WE DON'T HAVE ENOUGH MONEY...

354. TO PAY THE CHECK.

355. - WELL, SIR, I'M SORRY,

356. BUT PAYMENT IS REQUIRED,

357. OR I'M GOING TO HAVE TO CALL THE POLICE.

358. - THE POLICE?

359. (ROBBIE) - I'M SORRY.

360. - CLAUDE. CLAUDE! - YES, MR. CONRAD?

361. - WHERE IS THE LIVE MUSIC? - WELL...

362. - I THOUGHT PERRY AND JORDAN WERE PERFORMING.

363. - THERE WAS A GOLFING ACCIDENT.

364. PERRY TOOK A BALL TO THE HEAD.

365. - AND YOU DIDN'T BOOK ANOTHER MUSIC ACT?

366. - I DIDN'T FIND OUT UNTIL 4:30.

367. - PEOPLE COME HERE FOR CLASSY, LIVE MUSIC.

368. DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY CUSTOMERS ARE COMPLAINING?

369. - SIR, I DIDN'T HAVE THE TIME— - UH, GUYS, GUYS?

370. I THINK I MAY BE ABLE TO FIX BOTH OUR PROBLEMS HERE.

371. GIVE ME YOUR DRESS.

372. - WHAT?

373. - GIVE ME YOUR DRESS.

374. - THIS ONE?

375. - WHOO! - OWWW!

376. - CHECK THIS OUT FROM THE SLAP.

377. - I WAS GONNA SAY THAT.

378. - TOO LATE.

379. - MY DAD IS ALWAYS TELLING ME

380. THAT I SAY WAY TOO MANY WORDS.

381. HE THINKS THAT I SAY AROUND, LIKE,

382. LIKE, 9,000 WORDS EVERY DAY,

383. AND HE THINKS I SHOULD CUT BACK

384. TO AROUND, LIKE, 15 WORDS A DAY.

385. - YEAH, AND THERE'S LOTS MORE

386. COOL CHIZ LIKE THAT

387. ON THESLAP— - .COM

388. - MMM!

389. (SINJIN) - HERE COMES THAT FEELING.