- 1. Come tomorrow,
- 2. you will be principal of
North Jackson High School...
- 3. for a day.
- 4. Lee and I have some
issues to discuss.
- 5. I'm getting bombed with complaints
- 6. from frustrated teachers.
- 7. Gamby, what are you doing?
- 8. I'm giving the drama teacher
a glass of water—
- 9. Actually, can I have a San Pellegrino?
- 10. Stay the hell away from Amanda Snodgrass.
- 11. I'm helping Amanda with her novel.
- 12. Brian's gonna promise you the world
- 13. if he thinks he can...
unzip your blouse
- 14. and slip-n-slide his privates
all over your lips.
- 15. Be a good man.
Don't tell anymore lies.
- 16. I'm not that kinda person
- 17. This patient was flatlining.
- 18. And it was like
this wave washed over me,
- 19. and then, everything became so—
- 20. You have a little sauce, right—
You maybe need a napkin. This side.
- 21. Lee?
- 22. Christine?
- 23. Oh, my goodness, Kevin Yoon.
- 24. Wow, you are as pretty as ever.
- 25. Lee, you look good, too.
What's it been,
- 26. almost 20 years?
Yes, must have been.
- 27. A long time,
a very long time, Kevin.
- 28. You look good.
- 29. How have you been?
- 30. Oh, good. Uh...
- 31. As you know, I had a bit of
a rough time in college.
- 32. Those, uh, rumors and all.
- 33. But after some counseling,
I got my life together,
- 34. now I run a bank.
- 35. Did you two end up married?
- 36. Yes. Happily so.
- 37. Christine and I are happily married.
- 38. And also really enjoying our dinner, so,
- 39. if you don't mind— I'm just in town
for the week, then I have to head back
- 40. to the wife and kids in Cincinnati.
- 41. Hit me up on Facebook, we'll catch up.
- 42. She doesn't have Facebook.
- 43. I do have Facebook.
You do? Yeah?
- 44. You're my friend on Facebook.
- 45. You are a lucky man, Lee.
- 46. It was so nice seeing
you again, Christine.
- 47. So nice to see you.
- 48. That mongoloid valet
scratched my fucking dashboard!
- 49. I should go get my tip back. God!
- 50. Lee?
- 51. In college,
when Kevin and I were dating,
- 52. you said he was gay.
- 53. Now he's married with kids?
- 54. I don't even remember
Kevin all that well.
- 55. I didn't—
I didn't say that.
- 56. You did say that...
- 57. when I told you I loved him.
- 58. That's when all those
rumors started circulating.
- 59. That's when he dumped me
and left school.
- 60. It broke my heart.
- 61. whose shoulder did you come and
cry on when you found out?
- 62. Mine, that's who.
- 63. Did you start those rumors?
- 64. Did I do— No!
- 65. God! What makes you think
it wasn't true?
- 66. Lot of straight guys try
dick in college, Christine.
- 67. Lucky for us Kevin went
through that phase,
- 68. or else you and I never
would have gotten married.
- 69. Hey, come on.
Come on. I saved you.
- 70. Okay, let's just drop it.
- 71. Avril Lavigne!
- 72. See, I don't understand why Willows
can't be out here doing this?
- 73. You know?
I gotta do my job and his job?
- 74. Solve this goddamn murder?
- 75. Attempted murder.
- 76. don't try to lessen what
happened to me, okay?
- 77. I'm looking for answers here
and I'm not finding it,
- 78. and it's pissing me off.
- 79. Now back up there.
- 80. Let me take a crack at
your suspects list, huh?
- 81. I was a PI in '06,
down in Miami.
- 82. Did it for about three months
to pay off some gambling debt.
- 83. I know how to work the streets.
- 84. I find that hard to believe.
- 85. Oh, ho.
- 86. What's up, y'all?
Making cat's cradles?
- 87. No, we're not
making cat's cradles.
- 88. We're reenacting bullet trajectories.
- 89. Gamby knows his shit.
- 90. I know he does.
He knows my shit, too.
- 91. Hey, hey, uh-uh.
Stop, that's morbid.
- 92. These are deadly bullets,
don't put it down in your privates.
- 93. Please, I take deadly
bullets there real good.
- 94. Pew, pew, pew,
pew, pew, pew, pew...
- 95. Stop.
Give me some bullets.
- 96. Pew, pew, pew, pew—
Give me my yarn.
- 97. Can I help you with something?
- 98. Yeah, I'm just wondering if you're
going to Lee's birthday party?
- 99. Duh, I'm his best friend.
Of course I'm going.
- 100. Do you want to, maybe,
- 101. Uh, well, bosses and teachers aren't
allowed to go to parties together.
- 102. It's against school policy.
- 103. Is it?
Yes, it is, Nash, shut up.
- 104. Well, you never thought that
before when we...
- 105. Well, I made a lot of
mistakes last semester
- 106. and I'm not trying to
remake those mistakes.
- 107. Well, if I show up there,
will you talk to me?
- 108. Yeah, I mean, if there's
something to talk about.
- 109. Yeah? There will be
stuff to talk about.
- 110. So, I accept.
- 111. And my bullet catcher
- 112. I'm not really presenting
you anything to accept,
- 113. so I don't owe you anything.
- 114. Yeah, I know you don't.
Of course not.
- 115. She seems freaking cuckoo beans.
- 116. But her body is kind of rockin'.
- 117. You could do worse.
- 118. I'd fuck her.
- 119. Well, then you fuck her.
- 120. I got other plans.
- 121. Hey, Swift, take a hike.
- 122. Uh, actually, we're in the
middle of a conversation.
- 123. I know, I was just kidding.
Come on, lighten up, Swift.
- 124. But seriously, could you
meander away for a moment?
- 125. I just wanted to see...
- 126. Oh, yeah. Okay.
- 127. I'll tell you how it goes.
- 128. I like her.
She's a good egg.
- 129. You going to, uh, Lee Russell's
birthday bash celebration?
- 130. Oof, I don't want to go, to be honest,
- 131. but, um, I have a feeling, he's gonna
keep count and punish me if I don't.
- 132. He will.
- 133. He's creepy. So, um...
- 134. yeah, Brian and I will be there
- 135. once he's finished volunteering
at the boys rec center.
- 136. Volunteering?
- 137. Every Friday and every second Wednesday.
- 138. It's amusing how
people try so hard sometimes,
- 139. but it just comes off as pathetic.
- 140. It's not pathetic at all.
- 141. He's giving much-needed guidance to kids
who have no one else to look up to.
- 142. You know, some people work with
children on a full-time basis
- 143. and they don't feel the need to
write a fucking book about it.
- 144. He keeps you on a pretty tight leash.
- 145. You know he does that
because he's insecure
- 146. with you being faithful
in the relationship.
- 147. Oh, no, no.
He's, uh... he's very secure.
- 148. Are you sure about that?
- 149. Yeah. He has nothing to worry about.
- 150. Yuck. Don't you have a class
to teach or something?
- 151. I do.
Yeah, go to class.
- 152. Yeah. I'll see you at the party.
- 153. Eh, maybe you will,
maybe you won't.
- 154. I mean, if you go to the
party, you'll probably see me
- 155. because I'm gonna be there.
- 156. But it could be super crowded and busy,
and if you don't go with the person,
- 157. you might not even get to speak with
them there, so, you never know.
- 158. I will see you, then.
Lot of mingling.
- 159. Tons of mingling.
- 160. Whoo! You want to see a master?
- 161. Watch me work the room
at my birthday party.
- 162. Guess who RSVP'd?
- 163. Who?
- 164. Oh, congratulations.
- 165. The guest list is really shaping up, huh?
- 166. Watch my shit.
Get it on.
- 167. Watch my shit.
- 168. Look at my shit.
What am I looking at?
- 169. Everybody's gonna be
at this motherfucker.
- 170. You bringing a hot date?
- 171. No, I'm not bringing a date.
- 172. You need to bring a hot-ass woman.
- 173. Show Snodgrass you're over it.
- 174. You're supposed to be
making her jealous.
- 175. That is Relationship 101.
- 176. I have a master plan.
- 177. She used to have feelings for me.
- 178. If I can show her
I'm a charitable man,
- 179. not just Brian,
maybe I can remind her.
- 180. You know jackshit about women.
- 181. Fuckwads, leave now.
- 182. Not you, Tom Cruise.
- 183. What do you want?
- 184. I want you to be my plus one to
Lee Russell's birthday party.
- 185. Fuck no.
- 186. Well, too bad,
it's mandatory, you're going.
- 187. And once you're there,
you're gonna show everyone
- 188. what a positive impact
I've had on your life
- 189. and how I've made you
a better human being.
- 190. But you haven't done any of that,
- 191. and I don't want to go to
your stupid pedo party.
- 192. And it's outside of school, too,
- 193. so you can't even make me go to that.
- 194. What if I paid you $200?
- 195. I want 1,000.
- 196. Now I know
you're smoking DMT.
- 197. $320.
- 198. No, 700.
- 199. You're a whore.
- 200. $500. Final offer.
- 201. All right, I'll go.
- 202. Cool, but know this.
- 203. You will not get one
red cent of that money
- 204. if you make me look like
a fool, do you hear me?
- 205. You will be polite,
you will be cordial,
- 206. and you will also...
- 207. wear this,
- 208. tucked into your trousers.
- 209. Do I make myself clear?
- 210. Yeah.
- 211. I'll pick you up at your mom's.
- 212. Hi.
- 213. Mi-Cha! Show these gents
where the cake goes! Okay?
- 214. Hey, how we
getting paid for this, man?
- 215. Motherfucker, you on salary, you
already getting paid for this.
- 216. Did you salt the pork?
- 217. Last time it tasted like ass butter.
- 218. you asked me to cook for your
party, and that's what I'm doing.
- 219. I don't need you hovering.
- 220. Well, I don't see the
steak spears anywhere.
- 221. Where are the steak spears, Christine?
- 222. Christine!
- 223. What are you doing?
- 224. Oh, my God.
- 225. Are you communicating with
Kevin Yoon on Facebook?
- 226. We're just catching up.
- 227. He is an idiot from the past, Christine.
- 228. You need to focus on the future.
- 229. More specifically,
my fucking birthday party.
- 230. What if those rumors weren't true?
- 231. They changed the course of my life.
- 232. You know what,
here's what needs to happen.
- 233. You need to relax,
that's what's gonna happen.
- 234. And you know why?
- 235. 'Cause we have guests
coming in 30 minutes.
- 236. Take this.
- 237. Open up.
Is that a Valium?
- 238. No, it's a Klonopin, take it.
- 239. Just...
Just like that.
- 240. Close it.
- 241. Now relax.
- 242. Just relax.
- 243. Just relax.
- 244. Just relax.
- 245. Fuck!
- 246. Hi. Ma'am.
- 247. Um, Vice Principal Neal Gamby
from North Jackson High School.
- 248. I'm here to see your son.
- 249. Hey, Robin, get your ass over here!
- 250. It's another man from the school!
- 251. You having a good evening?
- 252. Mm-hmm. How you doing?
- 253. Pretty good so far.
- 254. My, Robin,
- 255. what fine fashions you're
wearing this evening.
- 256. This is the fag shirt
you gave me, okay?
- 257. I'm just doing
what you said.
- 258. Hey, hey! Do not say
"faggot" in front of a lady.
- 259. What lady?
- 260. Me, you dumb son of a bitch!
- 261. I won't have him out too late.
- 262. Hey! Hey!
- 263. Would it have killed you to
dress the way I asked you to?
- 264. Whatever, you dress like shit, too.
- 265. How dare you!
Listen to me, all right?
- 266. If you embarrass me tonight,
- 267. I swear to God,
I'll snap your fucking neck!
- 268. Now let's go into the car,
- 269. and go have fun at this party, okay?
- 270. Let's try the rosé!
- 271. It's gonna loosen us up!
- 272. This was actually taken our
first month of dating.
- 273. I found the old negative and
I blew it up for the new house.
- 274. Dang, Christine,
- 275. you look like
a freaking movie star!
- 276. Well, how is everybody doing on drinks?
- 277. Jeremy, would you like another
glass of the 16-year Lagavulin?
- 278. Please.
- 279. Christine, love the new home.
- 280. Yeah, yeah, this place is the digs!
- 281. Must be nice marrying a doctor
- 282. who can provide you with
the finer things, huh?
- 283. Oh, actually, we both chipped in.
- 284. Come on, Lee, I sign your paychecks.
- 285. What'd you chip in for, the coasters?
- 286. Uh, Christine, Jeremy asked nicely
for another glass of scotch.
- 287. Do you mind?
- 288. Yeah, do you mind? Please?
- 289. Thank you. Thanks.
- 290. Now, you'll have to excuse her.
- 291. She's just a— Ah!
- 292. Somebody else is here.
- 293. You'll have to excuse me.
- 294. Duty calls.
- 295. two, three.
- 296. Happy birthday!
- 297. You gotta be kidding me, Gamby.
- 298. What the fuck is Robin Shandrell
doing at my house?
- 299. He's my guest.
Oh, hell no, he's not.
- 300. I brought you a present,
- 301. You did?
- 302. Fuck no.
- 303. I'm holding you responsible
- 304. for this child's actions tonight, Gamby.
- 305. Fine.
I mean it.
- 306. Excuse me.
- 307. Snodgrass.
- 308. You've me Brian before.
- 309. Yes, we've met.
- 310. Yeah, we collect
stuff from North Korea.
- 311. Oh, isn't that something— Neal!
- 312. Wow, you're here,
you made it!
- 313. Jeremy, good to see you.
- 314. Rita, you look breathtaking,
- 315. as usual.
- 316. And who's your little friend here?
- 317. Uh, this handsome little bean sprout?
- 318. This is, uh, Robin Shandrell.
- 319. He, uh, is a former troubled student
- 320. that under my mentorship has
been given a second shot.
- 321. He's now thriving,
- 322. and reengaged.
- 323. Wow. Well, good for you, young man.
- 324. Shake his hand.
- 325. All right.
Shake her hand too.
- 326. Shake her fucking hand.
- 327. There you go, that's great.
- 328. I'm discovering all these little
talents and things he has.
- 329. He actually did this
to his shirt himself.
- 330. It's arts and crafts.
Is that what that is?
- 331. He wants to be a famous seamstress
when he becomes a man.
- 332. Oh, wow. And he's also great
at school things, too.
- 333. What's your favorite class, young man?
- 334. Civics.
- 335. Wow! You're the best in civics?
- 336. Yeah. It's just crazy how
he can do civics things
- 337. just naturally.
He's so good at civics.
- 338. he's, uh, incredible, in fact.
Why don't you look
- 339. at our beautiful kitchen
and go get some soda?
- 340. Uh, pop. You want some?
Some pop. Soda pop.
- 341. Go get some.
- 342. And if you see
the bar on your way...
- 343. Oh, egads. Oh, Christine
didn't bring your drink back.
- 344. Oh, no, no, seriously.
- 345. Jeremy, I'm so embarrassed,
that's her job. It's fine.
- 346. Okay, I'll get it.
I'll get it.
- 347. Uh, Christine?
- 348. Christine?
- 349. Now, remember, those
need to be served hot.
- 350. Okay? Go serve 'em!
Go serve 'em.
- 351. Christine?
- 352. Christine, what has gotten into you?
- 353. Hey, guys!
- 354. Hey, Lee.
- 355. Kevin... Yoon.
Uh, what are you doing here?
- 356. Christine told me it was your birthday.
- 357. She thought it might be a
nice surprise if I showed up.
- 358. So, surprise!
- 359. You look speechless, Lee.
- 360. Uh, wow.
- 361. Thank you.
- 362. Kevin, if you don't mind,
just go join the other guests.
- 363. We'll... we'll be right out.
- 364. Sounds good.
- 365. This is so nice.
- 366. Yes, it is.
- 367. What the fuck is he doing here?
- 368. Why are you trying to fuck
me on my birthday? Aah!
- 369. You know what,
- 370. You've had enough of this.
Give this to me.
- 371. Give this to me— Ow!
- 372. Goddammit, my Billy Reids!
My fucking slacks!
- 373. Just—
- 374. Oh, you little Peeping Tom.
- 375. Were you just spying on us?
- 376. Drinking my RC Cola!
- 377. Get out! Get out.
Give us some privacy.
- 378. Give us some— Get out!
- 379. Christine, wh—
- 380. I keep telling this young lady
- 381. that if she is going to write,
she has to see the world.
- 382. Do some living.
I'm desperate to.
- 383. I want to, I want to. Yes, you will.
- 384. Amanda, is it, like, the kind of thing
where the book couldn't happen still?
- 385. Like, they could change their minds?
That's a good question.
- 386. They could change their minds, and Amanda
and I have discussed it, haven't we, baby?
- 387. Yes, we have, baby.
- 388. Um, they're sending over their notes,
- 389. and I guess we will see
what we want to write?
- 390. Well, we're gonna have to seriously
- 391. consider taking their notes because
- 392. at this stage in one's career,
you have to play ball. Yup.
- 393. I don't understand.
She wrote the book.
- 394. It's done. Just go ahead
and put it out there.
- 395. Front of store placements, hardbacks.
What are we talking here?
- 396. New York Times best-sellers?
- 397. This would be a digital release.
- 398. Digital release?
So not a real book
- 399. that I could pick up at
Books-A-Million then, huh?
- 400. Well, it is still considered
a real book, yes.
- 401. In theory, it could be, you
could say it's a book,
- 402. but I could look at this and
be like, "This is a book."
- 403. But it's obviously not a book because
we know what books look like.
- 404. Have you ever read one?
Yeah, I know how to read.
- 405. Oh, okay, just checking.
- 406. Have I ever read a book before?
Have you ever read one...
- 407. I don't know, I know a thing or two
about the publishing industry.
- 408. No.
And from my point of view,
- 409. I think you should just
keep searching around
- 410. for a publisher that's more suitable,
- 411. one that cares for you deeply,
- 412. and has a full head of hair.
- 413. No, I think this publisher is
gonna take care of me just fine.
- 414. She's in good hands.
Yeah. The best hands.
- 415. Gross. Here's to Brian, for
being an amazing boyfriend.
- 416. Cheers. Cheers.
- 417. And then, Lee says to the policeman,
- 418. "I'm allowed to park in the handicap,
- 419. I have cancer."
- 420. He said it with such a straight face.
- 421. Go to bed. Go to bed. Go to bed. Go to bed, Mi-Cha.
Good night, sweetie.
- 422. You work her too hard.
Listen to me.
- 423. Do you see that Asian man,
- 424. talking to Jeremy Haas right there?
- 425. I want his ass out of here.
- 426. I want him gone now.
- 427. Like... like force him to leave?
- 428. I don't give a fuck
how you do it,
- 429. just do it.
- 430. We should have known
that guy got us!
- 431. Hi, Christine.
- 432. I just wanted to say,
- 433. you have such
a lovely home and—
- 434. Oh! Uh...
- 435. Oh, okay.
- 436. Excuse me, Brian.
- 437. I've been noticing those dirty
looks you've been giving me.
- 438. I don't want to make things weird.
- 439. I'm willing to be the bigger man
- 440. and not make an issue about
what happened between us.
- 441. You know what, I completely agree.
- 442. There's no reason to make an issue.
- 443. And Amanda told me not to push it.
- 444. She said that you've had an
extremely difficult year.
- 445. Well, she's right.
- 446. I was shot multiple times,
multiple entry points.
- 447. I completely understand you being upset.
- 448. I would be upset too
- 449. if I let a remarkable woman like that
- 450. just slip through my fingers.
- 451. Amanda?
- 452. You fucking cocksucker.
- 453. Howdy, pickle breath.
- 454. Who are you?
- 455. No friend of yours, you motherfucker.
- 456. What do you want?
- 457. I want you out of here.
- 458. Not today, not tomorrow, now.
- 459. Out of the bathroom?
- 460. Out of the birthday party.
- 461. You gots to go.
- 462. Why?
- 463. Because nobody wants you here.
- 464. Christine invited me.
- 465. I don't know who you are.
- 466. I'm a friend of the party.
- 467. Excuse me.
Yeah, you do that.
- 468. Yeah.
- 469. What are you doing?
- 470. Nothing.
- 471. Do you want me to leave?
- 472. No, you can stay.
- 473. Do you want a hit?
- 474. Neal, fuck them.
- 475. Let's go out back by the Dumpsters.
- 476. I have a huge hole in my panties.
- 477. Why do you have a hole in your panties?
- 478. I was rubbing it with rocks.
- 479. Shut up.
- 480. Let's dance.
- 481. What?
You heard me, let's go.
- 482. Yes.
- 483. Okay, I will. I do. Yes!
- 484. I can't believe
this is happening.
- 485. Dancing with the most
popular boy in school.
- 486. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- 487. This feels so good. Hmm?
- 488. I'm having a blast.
- 489. Whoa!
- 490. No, hey, hey, hey, hey!
- 491. You can't do it here.
- 492. You have to bring this
back in there and—
- 493. Abbott, Abbott, excuse me.
- 494. I'm cutting in.
What the fuck, Lee?
- 495. Look, Gamby, listen.
- 496. We can't do the cake yet.
- 497. Christine was supposed to
do a birthday toast for me
- 498. and she's nowhere to be found.
- 499. You have to do it.
- 500. Me do the toast?
- 501. I can't give a toast.
Well, you're my friend.
- 502. Okay?
Just say nice things about me.
- 503. Make me look good in front of
Superintendent Haas, okay?
- 504. All right, hey, DJ, DJ,
- 505. here, take these off.
Turn the music down, please.
- 506. Uh, excuse me.
- 507. Everyone stop the— stop dancing.
- 508. Everyone— Dayshawn,
- 509. let go of Ms. Swift now.
- 510. Everyone gather around.
- 511. Come on in, everybody.
Come on in, everyone.
- 512. Now we're going to put
a pause on to the good times
- 513. so that we can honor the guest
of honor, the birthday man,
- 514. Lee Russell.
- 515. Give it up for him.
- 516. He wants me to give him a toast,
- 517. and I'm not good at these things.
- 518. I didn't ask—
- 519. You did. You said to come and—
- 520. Yeah, but I wanted to.
- 521. I did want to.
- 522. Uh...
- 523. A lot of people don't know this,
- 524. but I was shot and left for dead
- 525. in the parking lot of North Jackson High,
- 526. in December of this year.
- 527. The assailant is still at-large.
- 528. And during that time period,
- 529. a lot of the relationships I had,
some of them disappeared,
- 530. some of them just completely just ended.
- 531. Like, just nothing happened
with them anymore at all.
- 532. But, through thick and thin,
- 533. there was one man
who stood beside me.
- 534. And that man—
Who was it?
- 535. What's going on here?
- 536. I'm not sure what happened here, folks.
- 537. Oh, my gosh...
- 538. What happened, guys, is he dead?
- 539. He just fainted, he's coming to.
- 540. Oh, just fainted?
- 541. Just continue with the toast.
Are you okay?
- 542. Everyone's— No one's
gonna pay any attention.
- 543. It's doesn't—
- 544. Damn it.
Everyone, this man is a lot older
- 545. than most people in this room.
- 546. Goddammit. Let's just give
him some space, okay?
- 547. Fuck this. Fucking Christine.
You know what?
- 548. Amanda, maybe don't touch him.
- 549. Christine, wake up and you give your—
- 550. Aah...
- 551. You okay?
He might have stroked out.
- 552. Did he stroke out?
- 553. No. He didn't stroke out, no.
- 554. At his age,
it could be a stroke, I bet.
- 555. You little devil worshiper!
- 556. How dare you fuck up my home!
- 557. No, no, no, no!
- 558. No, you're out of here!
- 559. You, sir are out. Get out!
- 560. Get out!
Get out! Get out!
- 561. Whoa, hey, hey.
You, get out of here!
- 562. What'd he do?
what'd he do?
- 563. Admit it,
you did it, didn't you?
- 564. No, I didn't.
Yes, you little fucking—
- 565. No, no, no!
- 566. Haas is here. Haas is here.
Haas is here.
- 567. Uh, excuse me...
- 568. uh, for-for my outburst.
- 569. I, uh...
I've had an incident
- 570. with this young man.
- 571. He, uh, defecated on a portrait of me,
- 572. What?
He took a shit in your room?
- 573. No, he didn't!
- 574. I did!
- 575. Christine, what are you doing?
- 576. Don't lie and tell
everyone this kid did it.
- 577. Stop making up lies!
- 578. Kevin Yoon, my ex-boyfriend,
- 579. Lee told me Kevin master
fucked 15 pledges
- 580. in a frat house basement
- 581. wearing a paper bag over his head.
- 582. Both our lives forever altered, admit it!
- 583. Kevin did do that.
- 584. And he also participated in a gang bang,
- 585. and he wanted to go seventh.
- 586. I mean, that's just disgusting, Kevin.
- 587. I swear to God, I never did that.
- 588. He did, Christine.
Kevin Yoon is lying to you.
- 589. You don't care who you hurt as long
as Lee Russell gets what he wants.
- 590. Baby, you've had a little
too much to drink.
- 591. You are making a fool out
of yourself right now.
- 592. Everybody here...
- 593. Everybody in this
entire house knows
- 594. that I am a very compassionate man.
- 595. All of these people will tell you.
- 596. Compassionate man?
- 597. Look— Aah!
- 598. No, no!
- 599. No!
- 600. No...
- 601. Christine!
Move, move, move!
- 602. No! Not my fucking Beamer!
- 603. Our whole marriage is a lie!
- 604. No, baby, it's not a lie!
- 605. Christine, please, baby, stop, don't!
- 606. Hey, honey, don't!
- 607. Fuck!
- 608. Christine!
- 609. Right, everyone,
let's give them a moment.
- 610. Let's take the party back inside, okay?
- 611. Let's give them a moment.
- 612. Nash, come on, help me wrangle here.
- 613. Don't just stand there
like a fucking idiot.
- 614. Let's go guys.
- 615. You made a lovely,
lovely house, Russell.
- 616. Wonderful. Thank you.
- 617. I hope Christine feels better.
- 618. Oh, uh, she'll be fine.
- 619. And so sorry about
her drinking so much.
- 620. See you Monday, Russell.
- 621. uh, so much for coming.
- 622. What did you want to say to Mr. Russell?
- 623. Eat me.
- 624. Goddammit, that's not what
you said you were gonna say.
- 625. Okay, let's take you home.
- 626. All right.
- 627. Thank you.
- 628. Good night.
- 629. That's it, you got it.
- 630. Well, Brian really fucked
up the toast, didn't he?
- 631. Will you please just get
Abbott out of here?
- 632. She's wasted, and tell her to
please put down my parrot.
- 633. Jen, get that out of there!
- 634. Jen, come on. Get the fucking
parrot out of your—
- 635. Get that out of there.
It's not a big deal.
- 636. It is a big deal.
It's someone else's property.
- 637. Put it down.
They don't want it.
- 638. Well, now they probably don't, now
that your juices are on it.
- 639. Come on. Go.
- 640. Walk normal.
- 641. Night-night, Lee.
- 642. I'm sorry your birthday didn't
turn out the way you wanted it to.
- 643. Thanks, Gamby.
Happy birthday, bud.
- 644. Thank you, Gamby.
- 645. Let me know if you need anything.
- 646. Hey.
- 647. I'm sorry I didn't stick up for you earlier
- 648. when Russell accused you of
doing a BM on his portrait.
- 649. A BM?
- 650. It's a bowel movement.
- 651. I should have said something.
- 652. He was pretty rude to you.
- 653. And it's not nice to be accused
of doing something like that.
- 654. I don't give a fuck.
- 655. Well, you should.
- 656. I suppose there's a lesson to
be learned in this anyhow.
- 657. If you walk around dressed
- 658. like the type of person that
would take a shit on something,
- 659. don't be surprised if somebody
accuses you of doing it.
- 660. Hmm.
- 661. All right, you did good.
- 662. As promised, there you go.
- 663. 500 big ones.
- 664. Don't spend it all
in one place.
- 665. Oof.
- 666. "Oof?"
What's going on?
- 667. Why are you making those noises?
- 668. I don't feel good.
Are you gonna throw up?
- 669. I don't know.
- 670. Go out— Roll the window
down if you're gonna do it.
- 671. Go over there!
- 672. Do it out there!
Don't do it inside my Silverado.
- 673. Roll down the window, roll it down!
- 674. Roll it down!
- 675. Sickening.
- 676. Did you get it all out of you?
- 677. There might be a little more later.
- 678. Then do it out the window.
Don't fuck around in here.
- 679. Were you just paying that boy?
- 680. That money was for books.
I also buy his family groceries.
- 681. Did you like my little present?
- 682. Present, what the fuck
you talking about?
- 683. I'm talking about Brian.
- 684. I made him look like a
fucking fool for you.
- 685. I roofied his drink.
- 686. You did what?
- 687. I roofied his drink.
- 688. You drugged him?
- 689. You could have killed him!
- 690. Mm-hmm.
- 691. Thank you.
- 692. That's the nicest thing
anyone's ever done for me.
- 693. You're welcome.
- 694. He did look like a bitch, didn't he?
- 695. Yes.
- 696. He just fucking fell down.
- 697. Just like, in the middle of
running his fucking mouth,
- 698. just, "bloop."
I kept trying not to laugh.
- 699. But I was just like, "Look
at this old motherfucker
- 700. who just had a heart attack."
- 701. They had to carry that
motherfucker out of there.
- 702. I was like, "Night-night, baby."
- 703. Hey, thank you.
- 704. You wanna go back to my place?
- 705. Yep.
- 706. It's like an hour away,
so it's a bit of a drive.
- 707. I don't care.
- 708. Cool.
- 709. I cleaned it, Christine.
- 710. It's that time of year again
- 711. for the high school
- 712. And we're gonna prep for 'em
like our life depended on it.
- 713. So Gamby, you're still up for
payday drinks this week, right?
- 714. Oh, I wouldn't miss it.
- 715. It's my one shot
- 716. to be the most popular
boy in the whole school.
- 717. The most popular boy?
- 718. MS.I'd like to
make an announcement,
- 719. and uh, I can't hold it in any longer.
- 720. But you should. You should.
- 721. Whoo!