1. And so it goes, gentlemen.
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2. For the final time...
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3. Old Glory rises by these hands.
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4. - Suffice to say, it has been an honor.
- Yeah.
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5. It's gonna be okay, sir.
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6. I... I just know
that Maria's gonna pull through.
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7. I'm just so sorry to leave both of you
in this situation.
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8. Principal-less just as the school year
is picking up steam.
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9. - But Maria needs me now.
- Uh, Principal Welles?
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10. I don't want to make light of the
situation, but for my own knowledge...
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11. And if you don't feel comfortable saying,
feel free to decline...
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12. - but do you know who will be replacing you?
- Here come the buzzards.
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13. Why don't you let the man grieve
for his dying wife, huh? Give him that.
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14. Superintendent Haas has yet
to make a decision.
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15. Quite frankly,
I could give a damn whoever it is.
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16. Just remember one thing,
it's all about the students.
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17. It's not about you two.
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18. That's very wise.
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19. I get it. Might take a little while
for it to sink in with this one.
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20. I hear you loud and clear.
It's a Gamby promise.
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21. - Go to hell.
- Make me go to hell, Lee.
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22. - Enough.
- Enough.
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23. - You enough.
- Oh, fuck off.
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24. - No, I will not.
- Fuck off.
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25. - You fuck yourself off.
- Fuck you.
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26. Just say the goddamn pledge!
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27. - Fuck-head.
- Shit fucker.
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28. I pledge allegiance to the flag
of the United States of America...
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29. and to the Republic for which it stands...
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30. one nation under God, indivisible,
with liberty and justice for all.
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31. I'm going to turn around now, knuckleheads.
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32. - That was a good pledge, sir.
- It was a very good pledge, sir.
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33. - Ungh!
- Yeah!
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34. Attention, attention, Mr. Gamby.
Please report to the main lobby.
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35. - Attention, attention, Mr. Gamby...
- Stop it!
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36. Move, move, move!
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37. Ooh!
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38. That was not smart.
Get to my office. Out the fucking hall.
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39. Come here. Get up.
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40. Go!
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41. What are y'all watching, a cage match?
Get back to class, you savages!
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42. Principal Welles's last day at school.
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43. And this is the day you decide to throw down.
It's not very respectful, if you ask me.
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44. Makes me sick just looking at all
three of you. Sick to my stomach.
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45. You see that paddle over there?
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46. That paddle belonged to my father
when he was a principal.
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47. Wanna throw punches in the hallway? I will
pull that paddle down and it will swing.
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48. - We were kidding around.
- Josh, shut it.
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49. - Matthew, what happened?
- Oh, I can help.
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50. He was being bullied.
Didn't throw a single punch.
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51. Ms. Snodgrass, I know that it's probably a
very dramatic thing for a beautiful woman...
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52. like yourself to witness such barbarianism,
but allow me to conduct the investigation.
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53. - Matthew, go ahead.
- Josh is right.
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54. We were just playing around
and got carried away.
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55. All right, stonewall me, man.
I can't help you if you don't let me.
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56. Neal. Mr. Gamby.
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57. Excuse me, but obviously these two are
pressuring Matthew into not saying anything.
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58. - Take it from me, he's a good student.
- Yeah, I understand.
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59. I deal with them on a regular basis.
You're a new teacher.
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60. You're full of ideals.
Bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.
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61. But you're a little out of your jurisdiction.
We got a zero-tolerance policy...
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62. when it comes to violence.
Doesn't matter who started it.
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63. Everyone gets punished.
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64. Corey L., five days
out-of-school suspension.
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65. You pop me one more time, you son of a
bitch, I will bounce you out of this school.
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66. Get up and get out.
I should slap you across your mouth.
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67. You punch like a woman.
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68. Potter, Josh Props,
five days in-school suspension.
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69. Potter, I don't want to
see you in here again.
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70. Josh Props, I know I'll see you again,
so until next time. Mwah.
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71. Get out of my face right now.
You make me sick.
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72. - Mr. Gamby?
- Guess we took care of that, huh?
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73. I can't believe you're gonna put that
on Matthew's record.
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74. - Rules are rules.
- Well, if a rule is unfair...
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75. then maybe it shouldn't be enforced.
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76. That might be the way some vice
principals operate, but not the way I do.
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77. - But I have enjoyed this spirited debate.
- Oh.
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78. - That's it?
- Unless you got anything else to add.
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79. - I'm gonna check my e-mail.
- See ya.
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80. Hmm.
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81. North Jackson High School.
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82. You know what,
I think you want the hospital.
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83. What's happening, Dayshawn? What's
the chatter amongst the other workers, huh?
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84. - Who you all pulling for in the principal race?
- Oh, you know, they pulling for you.
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85. - But, um...
- But "um" what?
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86. I don't know
if you well-liked enough, Mr. Gamby.
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87. You know what I mean?
I mean, people got to like your ass.
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88. Look... Look at Lee Russell over there.
He laughing it up with them teachers.
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89. How come the teachers never invite you
to eat lunch?
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90. They do invite me to eat lunch.
Invite me all the time.
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91. I choose not to eat with them.
They're just a bunch of elitist assholes.
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92. I'd rather spend my time
befriending the lower-class workers.
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93. The guys like you and your crew,
Harold in Maintenance.
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94. Those teachers, they can come and go.
When you guys call out sick...
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95. how do the floors get clean?
How do these children eat?
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96. We call in sick, other guys pick up the slack.
Ain't that difficult to move these trays.
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97. Look, what you do is very important here,
okay? When I become principal...
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98. I'm gonna make sure
you get the respect you're due.
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99. You're gonna get us a raise?
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100. It's not gonna be a raise.
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101. I'm just gonna make sure that people don't
look down upon you, like they do now.
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102. - Didn't know anybody was looking down on me.
- Not everyone. I'm not.
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103. You know how students look at you,
"I would never want to do that job."
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104. - I'm gonna change that image.
- If you could line up that raise...
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105. No raise, Dayshawn, don't ask again.
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106. You can get me that money,
a brother could use it.
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107. Jeremiah. Pants up.
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108. - If you can get me some more of that money...
- Jeremiah, pants up, grades up.
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109. - Like I was saying...
- Jeremiah!
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110. This song is dedicated to Principal Welles.
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111. You're a true hero.
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112. Oh
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113. It must have been cold there in my shadow
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114. To never have sunlight on your face
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115. But you were content to let me shine
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116. That's your way
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117. You always walked a step behind
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118. Did you ever know that you're my hero?
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119. No. No. No.
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120. You're everything...
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121. You two, I wanna know
what's so damn funny in my office...
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122. after the assembly.
Do you hear me?
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123. What is it? Is it her voice that's funny?
Or maybe it's Ms. Welles dying.
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124. You think that's funny.
It's not funny.
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125. It's a beautiful moment and
you've ruined it. You ruined it.
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126. Laugh one more time. Laugh again.
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127. Put your hand down now.
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128. Get it away from your mouth now.
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129. It might have appeared to go unnoticed
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130. Mr. Sepanik,
please come to the front office.
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131. Thank you.
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132. What's so funny in here?
You guys making jokes?
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133. No having fun at work. Heh-heh.
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134. Russell.
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135. - Now, that's...
- Fucking cocksucker.
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136. Why, hello, Mr. Gamby.
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137. You remember Donna
from the school board.
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138. Of course I do.
Hello, Donna. It's good to see you.
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139. I was just leaving.
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140. - I'll see you tomorrow, Lee.
- Call me later if you wanna have drinks.
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141. You ambitious, little weasel.
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142. Sitting here, kissing the school board's
ass. That's pretty fucking pathetic.
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143. - And I saw your little fucking sign.
- What sign?
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144. Don't motherfucking play games with me.
Listen here, you.
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145. Come tomorrow, there's a brand-new principal
in town, and his name is Neal Gamby.
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146. Those who want to be catty bitches,
well, they can kiss their jobs goodbye.
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147. - That is a Gamby promise.
- You're so confident, aren't you, Gamby?
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148. Too bad the school board's still undecided.
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149. Pfft. They're not. They know exactly
who's gonna be the principal.
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150. Why is this job so important to you, Gamby?
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151. Is it because you got absolutely
dick-all else going on in your life?
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152. - You wish you had my life.
- A fucking divorced loser is what you are.
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153. Look at you, just rock hard
at the thought of all that power.
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154. I know you like to think about my dick,
but don't. Private property.
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155. - Eat shit, Gamby!
- No, thanks, but have fun imagining it though.
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156. Tacks. Fucker.
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157. Make one more fucking sign
and see what happens.
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158. Go, Janelle!
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159. - Whoo! Yes!
- There you go.
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160. - Nice work, baby, nice work.
- There you go. Right there.
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161. She's gotta keep
the heels down though.
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162. Hello, Gale, Ray.
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163. You're late. Janelle just had a
really good run. You missed it.
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164. I saw it when I was walking up.
Worry about yourself.
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165. Hey, Janelle!
Good job, baby. Good job.
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166. - Keep your heels down.
- Keep your heels however you want.
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167. Focus on yourself, not on negative people,
telling you how to do things.
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168. - So I got the principal job today.
- Cool.
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169. "Cool."
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170. You can go ahead and admit it.
My success enrages you.
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171. - I actually don't care at all.
- Don't care? Sure, you don't.
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172. - Of course you care.
- You're right, Neal.
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173. I'm always thinking about you.
You're right. I forgot it's all about you.
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174. Well, it's not about me. My mentor's wife
was diagnosed with melanoma.
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175. - So how silly do you sound now?
- Sorry to hear about that, Gamby.
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176. That's awesome about the principal job.
You've been working really hard.
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177. - I knew good things would happen. Congrats.
- Nobody asked you to chime in.
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178. It's not even official yet,
so don't run your mouth all over town.
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179. - Being a little gossip, a little hen.
- I'm just impressed.
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180. Must be tough wrangling them kids.
Don't know how you do it.
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181. Of course you don't.
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182. If I told you I stole a man's wife and
family, you'd understand how to do that.
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183. - Why don't you go sit somewhere else, Neal?
- Nope.
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184. Chilling with the older guy, definitely.
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185. - Yeah? What high school do you go to?
- I'm only 13.
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186. - Hey, Dad.
- Where'd your shirt go?
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187. - I took it off. It was all sweaty.
- Put it on.
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188. - But, Dad, it's nasty.
- Put it on.
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189. - Okay, okay.
- Put it on.
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190. - Got it.
- Get it. Put it on.
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191. - Dad, I got it!
- Get it... Get it on.
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192. Move. Get out of here.
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193. - Get it on. Push it on.
- Stop! Don't.
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194. - Gosh, Dad. I got it.
- Look, I'm not trying to yell.
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195. You've been spending lots of time
with your mom, that's the example she sets.
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196. But you can't go around
being fast with the boys.
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197. - That's not how a lady acts.
- All right, Dad.
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198. Got some good news.
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199. You're looking at the brand-new principal
of North Jackson High.
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200. No way. So when I get to high school,
I can do whatever I want...
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201. - and never get in trouble?
- Well, that's what you'd think, but no.
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202. Because people expect that, I'll have to go
in the opposite direction, be merciless.
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203. - Janelle, come on. Let's go.
- Fazoli's is gonna close.
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204. Ray, I'm talking to my daughter, not yours.
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205. - She's never gonna be your daughter.
- Wrap it up, Neal.
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206. Not married anymore.
You can't tell me what to do.
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207. My dad, a principal. It's pretty awesome.
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208. It is pretty awesome. Come here.
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209. - I love you.
- I love you too, Daddy.
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210. Come on, baby. My little girl.
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211. - See you, Neal.
- Fuck off, Ray.
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212. - Whatever you want.
- Cool.
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213. Neal Gamby,
this is Sterling Credit, a debt collector
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214. Please return our call
as quickly as possible. Thank you.
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215. Mr. Gamby, this is Superintendent Haas.
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216. Just wanted to inform you
a decision has been made...
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217. and we would love to sit down and talk
with you first thing tomorrow morning.
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218. Hope you're having a wonderful evening.
God bless, now.
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219. God, yes!
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220. Yeah!
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221. Fuck, yeah!
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222. Damn, yes! Whoo!
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223. Whoo!
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224. Yes, this is Principal Neal Gamby.
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225. Get your fat ass out of that chair.
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226. Russell, do not try
to ruin this moment for me.
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227. First thing I'll do as principal
is fire you. You'll lose everything.
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228. Your house, car, couch,
anything else you got on layaway.
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229. The first thing I'm gonna do
when I'm principal is not fire you...
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230. but keep you on staff as my slave.
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231. - Gonna take my dick, slap it across your face.
- Shut up, you sassy-ass motherfucker.
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232. Excuse me, Superintendent Haas is here.
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233. Thank you, Mrs. Libby.
Hello, Mr. Gamby.
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234. - Mr. Haas.
- Good to see you.
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235. - Mr. Russell.
- Good to see you, Jeremy.
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236. - Sad news about Welles's wife.
- So sad.
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237. - Gotta use your sun protection.
- You do.
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238. My wife makes me use a strong SPF
even if I plan on being inside.
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239. - So smart. Your wife rules.
- Yeah, she's good.
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240. But we can't just dwell on the past.
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241. We gotta think about the future.
Talk about what's to come.
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242. That's right. I'm sure we all know that Mr.
Welles left some large shoes to fill.
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243. - So big.
- But I think we wound up with the right person.
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244. Someone with a lot of experience.
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245. Gotta have experience.
Most important part.
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246. And someone who's very likable.
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247. - It's essential to be likable.
- Indeed.
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248. - That's why...
- Knock, knock.
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249. Ha-ha! Here she is. Gentlemen, I'd like you
to meet Dr. Belinda Brown...
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250. the new principal at North Jackson.
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251. I am so sorry that I'm late.
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252. There's a car parked in
the principal's space.
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253. Dr. Brown was principal of several very
high-achieving schools in Philadelphia.
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254. Oh, look at you, being so nice.
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255. And who's this sitting in my chair,
keeping it warm for me like a gentleman?
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256. Excuse me.
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257. - My, this campus is just lovely.
- Isn't it, though?
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258. Now, North Jackson's not the newest school
in the district.
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259. But it is to me,
hands down, the most charming.
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260. Even more charming now
that you're here, Dr. Brown.
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261. Ha-ha! Why, thank you, Mr. Russell.
Flattery will get you everywhere.
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262. - I see a bright future for you here, darling.
- Fuck you, Russell.
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263. - Excuse me, Mr. Gamby?
- Hmm?
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264. - Just saying this is the hallway up here.
- Feeling all right?
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265. You look a little pale.
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266. Oh, it must be me.
I tend to have this effect on men.
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267. - Leave them breathless.
- Well, I know I can't breathe.
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268. Faculty. Who here thinks that Belinda Brown needs
to take her big butt back to Philadelphia?
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269. - What's the issue?
- She's gonna run this school into the ground.
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270. - That's the issue.
- She got her masters from Berkeley.
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271. I bet she went to Berkeley.
And I'm pretty affirmative how she got in.
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272. Here's what I'm proposing.
I'm gonna file a complaint with the board.
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273. - A complaint? What's it gonna say?
- They fucked up.
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274. They chose the wrong person.
They need to reconsider.
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275. Maybe make me principal. But what I'm
gonna need for this to work is you guys...
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276. to sign this complaint with me,
so they know we mean business.
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277. No, I'm not putting my name on that.
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278. - Not a chance. Not a chance.
- "Not a chance. Not a chance."
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279. Y'all never backed me. Don't know
why I thought this time would be different.
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280. Why don't you shut the fuck up?
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281. Nobody here wants to listen
to your misguided bullshit.
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282. If it isn't the snake in the shadows.
Buzz the fuck off.
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283. - This has nothing to do with you.
- Gamby, I think I speak for everyone here...
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284. when I say you're a jerk-off.
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285. And no one wants to sign
your stupid letter.
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286. - Stupid letter?
- Yeah.
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287. I'm getting sick and tired
of that know-it-all mouth of yours.
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288. Oh, well, then...
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289. Make your move, motherfucker.
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290. - Make your move, but you better have a gun.
- I don't need a gun.
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291. - Don't need a gun?
- But if I did, I could get a better gun than you.
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292. Come on!
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293. - Bruce! Bruce!
- All right, all right!
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294. - Hey, hey! I said knock it off! Settle down!
- Bruce! Bruce!
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295. All right! Everybody settle down!
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296. - Settle down!
- No need to get violent.
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297. - No violence.
- He talked about bringing a gun to school.
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298. Oh, you look so stupid right now.
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299. I don't need any of y'all!
I'll take care of this shit myself.
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300. - Surprise!
- Oh, shit!
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301. - Neal!
- Goddamn it, Ray!
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302. You broke my computer!
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303. - You don't like the surprise?
- What are you doing here?
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304. Janelle wanted to celebrate
your big promotion, man.
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305. - Why are you a part of this?
- Bug here needed a ride, and Gale, she...
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306. - She didn't want any part of it.
- I should've known you were behind this.
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307. I hate that you're about to see me like this,
but I don't have the strength to fight you.
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308. Damn it. Is this what you wanted?
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309. I didn't get the job.
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310. They gave it to somebody else.
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311. - Oh, Neal, I hate that for you, man.
- Why didn't they choose you?
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312. When you're the person
enforcing the laws...
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313. you don't get to make a lot of friends.
Not a lot of people like me.
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314. People like you.
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315. No, I know it's hard to believe,
but they don't.
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316. I expect a lot out of people,
for whatever reason, it pushes them away.
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317. God knows it did your mom.
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318. Hey, Gale's...
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319. - She got a shit-ton of respect for you, Neal.
- I'm not trying to get back my ex-wife, Ray.
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320. - And please stop calling me Neal.
- Well...
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321. - can't you get them to change their mind?
- I tried.
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322. I tried to rally the teachers,
get them to support me.
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323. But like I said, nobody likes me.
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324. Who cares about the teachers?
The students like you.
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325. Don't they?
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326. The students.
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327. See? They like you, right?
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328. No, they don't. You're completely wrong.
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329. But it doesn't matter.
Because they fear me.
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330. And that's even better.
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331. - My bad.
- It is your bad.
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332. Matthew Potter!
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333. What's shaking?
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334. Just waiting on the bus.
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335. I'm your bus today. Get in.
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336. So how's I.S.S. been treating you?
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337. So far so good.
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338. So far so good? Heh-heh.
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339. You know what happens
to smart kids like you in I.S.S.?
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340. You get turned the fuck out.
You know what "turned out" means?
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341. No... No, sir.
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342. It's when a straight dude rolls into prison
and gets his ass fucked, then becomes a girl.
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343. Well, that hasn't happened yet.
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344. Yet? You've still got
a few more days in there.
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345. Plenty of time for that shit to go down.
Big boys will come in...
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346. push a boy like you down, stick a textbook
in your mouth and go to fucking town.
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347. - You want that to happen to you?
- No.
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348. Yeah, I didn't think so.
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349. What would you say
if I could get you out of I.S.S. today?
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350. Get the whole thing wiped
from your record?
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351. You're good. You don't want that following
you when it comes time to apply to college.
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352. - I can set you free. Would you like that?
- Well, yeah, but why?
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353. Want you to organize a mass student
walkout. Arrange all your classmates...
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354. to get out of school at the same time
and protest how you hate the new principal.
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355. - Walkout? Like, leave school?
- Yeah.
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356. All-school walkout today.
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357. Every motherfucking student
in school at 2:03 p.m.
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358. - Are we clear?
- Yeah.
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359. Boom. That's what I want to hear.
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360. - Oh, Mr. Gamby, hey.
- Hey.
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361. - You feeding your fishes?
- Sure am.
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362. - What kind are they? Gold?
- Yep.
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363. I just wanted to drop by
and give you a little bit of an update.
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364. Matthew Potter's a good kid, and you're right.
He doesn't deserve to have the book thrown...
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365. at him, so I've immediately released him
from I.S.S.
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366. Wow. That's a big turnaround for you.
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367. What happened
to the "rules are rules" thing?
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368. - Well, I never really said it like that, but...
- Heh. You did.
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369. Rule... No, I didn't, but rules are rules.
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370. I still believe that.
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371. But also fairness is fairness.
You understand what I'm saying here.
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372. Look, I...
I know things have been crazy...
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373. with the recent changes, I'm sure
that's why you were popping off to me.
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374. But I just wanted to let you know that...
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375. you shouldn't give up hope just yet.
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376. There's still some adults left here
at North Jackson High.
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377. Oh, that's... That's...
That's good to hear.
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378. Yeah.
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379. You're strong. I like that.
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380. The tides are turning, Ms. Snodgrass.
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381. Good guys, they're about to win.
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382. Look at Lee Russell.
That little sassy cuss.
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383. Fuck you. That bitch.
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384. Don't matter. Let them have their fun.
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385. Sounds like you up
to something to me, Mr. Gamby.
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386. Let's just say all will
be revealed in due time.
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387. The revolution will not be televised.
Oh, no.
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388. It's just gonna happen regular
in front of everybody...
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389. - at approximately 2:03 p.m. Today.
- What you mean?
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390. - Like a school shooting?
- No, not like a school shooting.
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391. Don't be scaring these children. I'm talking
about a non-violent, hearts-and-mind campaign.
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392. - Okay. That sounds dope.
- Pfft.
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393. Oh, yeah. It's definitely gonna be dope.
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394. Super dope.
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395. - You're not gonna kill everybody, right?
- I told you. I'm not gonna murder anybody.
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396. - Oh, we're so happy to have you here!
- Oh, thank you!
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397. Not yet.
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398. So I'm gonna need your help planning
my first faculty meeting.
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399. I want the opportunity to show myself,
but also have some fun.
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400. Oh, um...
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401. Ah! Lightbulb! Ice cream social!
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402. Let them know how sweet you are!
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403. Oh, Russell, you don't quit, do you?
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404. Mr. Gamby, what's your favorite ice cream?
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405. Say who hey?
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406. - Hmm?
- What is your favorite ice cream?
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407. I... I hate ice cream.
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408. I'm lactose intolerant.
Makes me do diarrhea in my pants.
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409. Can you excuse me
for one second please?
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410. Did I hear ice cream?
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411. Goddamn it.
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412. Logarithmic functions.
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413. I know that sounds complicated,
but I'm gonna break it down for you.
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414. And it's really not all that bad.
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415. Okay, so if you have...
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416. What the fuck is going on? It's 2:08 p.m.
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417. - Where is my walkout?
- I know. I tried.
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418. "I tried, I tried."
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419. Couldn't talk any of your friends into
leaving school? Kids fucking hate school!
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420. - Nobody would do it! I tried.
- Get your shit. You're going back to I.S.S.
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421. Our deal, it's done.
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422. And I'm gonna find the biggest,
nastiest buck I can to come in there...
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423. and drill you right in your asshole!
Damn it!
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424. Look. Speak of the devil.
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425. Are we done here?
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426. Well, actually,
I'd love to speak with you a moment.
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427. - Have a seat.
- Closed, right?
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428. Yes, Lee. Thank you.
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429. Mr. Gamby, it appears that someone has filed a
complaint against me with the school board.
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430. Hmm. That's interesting.
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431. Is there anything you'd like
to get off your chest, Mr. Gamby?
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432. I mean, nothing really comes to mind.
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433. Well, this complaint says,
and I quote, "She's not very smart.
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434. And if she's in charge,
this school will suffer in a horrible way.
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435. Dr. Brown only cares about herself.
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436. She really thinks she's something."
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437. - Pfft.
- Now, who would write such a thing?
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438. I don't know. I'm not sure.
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439. - Does it say who wrote it?
- Why, yes, it does.
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440. Okay, fine. I'll admit it.
I wrote the complaint against you.
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441. Mr. Gamby,
I've been doing this for some time now.
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442. Whenever a new principal shows up
at a school...
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443. you can guarantee that people feel like
they've been passed over...
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444. and oftentimes,
they resent the new principal.
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445. I can live with people resenting me.
That's fine.
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446. But from now on,
you're going to be very cooperative...
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447. and very pleasant when dealing with me...
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448. because if you're not cooperative,
Mr. Gamby...
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449. and if you're not pleasant...
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450. I will drag your face all up and down
the parking lot of this motherfucker.
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451. Now, do we understand each other,
Mr. Gamby?
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452. Yes, Dr. Brown.
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453. Wonderful!
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454. Now, I would like for you to come in
two hours earlier every morning.
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455. I want you to jump in
on the morning Driver's Ed program.
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456. - That means I gotta be here at 5:10 a.m.
- Is that a problem, Mr. Gamby?
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457. No, it's not a problem.
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458. Well, if that's all, you're dismissed.
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459. Have a blessed day.
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460. You have a blessed day too.
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461. Oh.
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462. Thank you.
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463. Leave it open.
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464. - Say who?
- Open.
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465. - The door?
- Leave it.
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466. Thank you.
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467. This motherfucker...
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468. Belinda's got you by the balls.
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469. Driver's Ed. Tough break.
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470. Yeah, at least I'm not bending over and taking
it up the ass with a smile like you are. Over.
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471. You have no clue. While you've been throwing
your little tantrums, filing your complaints...
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472. I've been learning her weaknesses.
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473. And when the time's right, I'm gonna
stab that bitch in her big, fat back.
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474. - I thought you loved Dr. Brown.
- Please.
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475. She doesn't deserve to sit behind
that desk. That should've been me.
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476. And if not me, then maybe you.
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477. You need to flip your shit around.
Me, then you.
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478. Whatever, Gamby.
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479. Just not her.
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480. - Fuck her.
- Fuck her.
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481. Now, she's my enemy...
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482. and she's your enemy...
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483. and my enemy's enemy...
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484. Is my friend.
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485. Shall we align, friend?
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486. Let's take that bitch down.
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