1. Whamo!
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2. That was cheap! You're not supposed to fly!
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3. Last I checked, there's no rule against flying!
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4. Why are you and your pea brain
on the same team as Miss Lum?
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5. Oh, c'mon!
Why are you and your pea brain
on the same team as Miss Lum?
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6. Why are you and your pea brain
on the same team as Miss Lum?
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7. Beats me, I wanted to be paired with Shinob-
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8. We're playing for keeps
and I'm not holding back!
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9. Heave-ho! Heave-ho!
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10. Heave-ho! Heave-ho!
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11. Darling and I are going to win a love game!
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12. That's it! No more flying!
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13. Sounds like somebody's having
a wild time over there.
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14. Hey! Don't get distracted!
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15. Remember that we're here to fulfill
a very important duty!
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16. Gosh, and after all that trouble
we went through to hide the spaceship...
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17. for some reason it went and made
an emergency launch.
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18. That's life! You should always expect
the unexpected on trips like this!
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19. Balgh!
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20. Ugh, t-too heavy...
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21. Eldeeeeer!
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22. Wait for uuuuus!
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23. Sounds like somebody's
having a wild time over there.
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24. Don't get distracted!
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25. Score!
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26. My apologies.
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27. That dimwit won't get the better of me!
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28. CRASH
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29. Yo, Mendo.
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30. Think fast.
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31. Wha-?
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32. THUMP
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33. I was trying to warn you about that.
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34. Did you get what I meant?
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35. Curse you!
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36. Why didn't you say something
more straightforward, dammit!
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37. Hot babe ahoy!
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38. Darling!
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39. Moroboshi! You're dead meat!
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40. Dude! Take a good look in front of you!
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41. Whoa! Who is this?
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42. I must know her name.
She's breathtakingly beautiful.
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43. That crow is wearing some weird clothes...
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44. Princess!
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45. Are you all right?
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46. What the hell are those things?
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47. She seems to be okay!
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48. Oh thank heavens!
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49. I had no idea that crows living amongst
the peasantry could talk like this...
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50. It's a hunk with slicked-back hair!
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51. This guy could work, right?
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52. Yeah.
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53. Hold up, what do you mean by that?
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54. Our princess only cares for handsome hotties!
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55. And your looks get a passing grade!
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56. I'm not following you at all.
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57. Hurry and wake up, Elder!
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58. We've got big news!
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59. Our search for a suitable man is over!
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60. Elder!
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61. Guess he's out like a light.
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62. Freakin' slavedriver who pays peanuts!
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63. Get bent!
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64. What happened to me?
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65. Murmur, murmur, murmur, murmur...
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66. Indeed. He's right up her alley.
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67. You see, we come from a planet where
there are no humanoid males to speak of.
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68. So we traveled all the way to Earth
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69. in search of a groom
suitable for Princess Kurama.
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70. You would be doing us a huge favor!
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71. Please consider it!
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72. We need you to become
Princess Kurama's husband
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73. and engage in a night of
amorous congress with her!
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74. Amorous Congress
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75. A night of amorous congress?
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76. Now, awaken the princess with a kiss.
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77. No need to be shy! Give her a big, fat one!
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78. Hurry! Hurry! Hurry!
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79. W-w-w-wait just a second!
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80. I can't agree to this!
I'm not into public displays of affection!
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81. Oh, just quit yapping and get to it already!
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82. It's cool, I'll do it for him!
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83. Darling!
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84. Zap zap zap zap zap zap!
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85. ZAP
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86. You've already got a perfectly kissable
wife right here, darn it!
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87. Get offa me!
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88. Shutaro! Hurry and seal the deal!
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89. Don't you dare, Mendo!
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90. You must hurry and kiss her
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91. or that numbskull over there
will beat you to the punch!
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92. Please, you have to save our princess!
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93. Very well. Extreme circumstances
call for extreme action.
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94. Pardon me.
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95. Smoooooch...
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96. SNAP
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97. Don't do it, Mendo!
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98. M-miss Shinobu!
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99. Hey! Mind your own business!
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100. Nice job, Shinobu! Keep it up!
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101. Darling!
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102. Get over here!
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103. Listen! I'm not doing this because I want to!
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104. But this person needs my help!
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105. Whatever!
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106. It's smoochin' time!
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107. Sealed with a Kiss!
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108. YOU FILTHY PIECE OF SCUUUM!
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109. Aw yeah! I did it!
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110. Crud.
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111. And after I worked up all that courage...
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112. You should have just done it
when we told you to!
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113. Because tradition dictates that
she must pledge herself to
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114. the man who awakens her with a kiss!
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115. Where am I?
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116. Hello there.
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117. Oh hell yes! He's a total studmuffin!
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118. You have found me the perfect groom!
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119. Come, my husband!
It's time for amorous congress!
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120. I wish to birth a great deal of children!
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121. There's no time like the present,
I feel so awful that I can't bear to
break the news to her...
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122. let's get to mashing the fat here and now!
I feel so awful that I can't bear to
break the news to her...
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123. let's get to mashing the fat here and now!
We can let her live the dream
for a little while, at least.
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124. We can let her live the dream
for a little while, at least.
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125. Kurama, baby!
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126. Huh?
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127. Who the devil are you?
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128. Let's engage in amorous congress, right now!
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129. Shove off, you maggot!
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130. Darling...!
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131. You kissed her, but always leave
my lips high and dry!
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132. I'M PISSEEEEEEEEED!
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133. KABLOOOEY!
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134. Kabloooey!
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135. Some days later
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136. Okay, so on today's agenda,
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137. we have to do something about
Princess Kurama's husband.
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138. But before that...
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139. What are you doing here, missy?
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140. Ataru is my darling husband!
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141. I'm not letting anyone else lay a hand on him!
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142. Sir, with all due respect, this is a disaster.
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143. I suggest that we just hook her up
with the slicked back fella.
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144. Slick back fella
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145. The princess already thinks
that guy is her husband, anyway.
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146. Be that as it may, the reality is...
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147. That numbskull kissed her!
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148. And nobody will know that
if we never tell them.
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149. Let's have her engage in amorous congress
with the slicked back fella and call it a day.
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150. Huh?
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151. Are you saying that Kurama doesn't know
my darling is the one who kissed her yet?
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152. Yep. We're gonna keep her
in the dark about that
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153. and strike a deal with that hunk instead.
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154. I'm willing to help with that.
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155. Great!
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156. That cannot be allowed!
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157. It doesn't matter if he's married or not.
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158. Because tradition dictates
the princess must engage with
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159. the man who awakened her
with a kiss, period!
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160. Why you little...!
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161. How do you expect us to
explain it to her at this point?
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162. My heart bleeds for the princess already.
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163. Besides, none of us are getting paid
for all this overtime.
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164. I knew that's all you bums care about.
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165. Enough of this!
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166. I'm just going to tell the princess
the truth myself!
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167. But Princess Kurama isn't here right now.
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168. What? Where did she go?
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169. Do you even need to ask?
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170. She's gone to be with the slicked back fella.
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171. That spells trouble for darling!
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172. CLASS 2-4
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173. Uh, so for today's homeroom,
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174. we'll be having a discussion regarding
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175. Proper Etiquette
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176. Between Boys and Girls
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177. proper etiquette in relationships
between boys and girls.
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178. Gee whiz, they couldn't have picked
a worse group of people
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179. to lead a discussion on this topic,
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180. seeing as how they're all lunkheads
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181. who throw manners out the window
when it comes to the opposite sex.
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182. Don't lump me in with Moroboshi.
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183. Mendo's just wasting his breath up here.
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184. Watch it! You're the last person
with any right to say that!
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185. That's for sure.
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186. Mendo always uses logic
when he does something.
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187. He's totally different from Moroboshi
who just acts on instinct.
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188. Exactly.
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189. In fact, there are times I'm so logical
that I almost hate myself for it.
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190. I just love his gloomy face!
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191. The other day is a prime example.
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192. If only I hadn't listened to
the voice of reason...
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193. then Moroboshi would never have gained
the upper hand on me like that!
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194. Curses! Why must I be so logical?
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195. Poor Mendo...
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196. I wonder what's got him so upset?
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197. Keep whining and I'll spill the beans
to everybody, dude.
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198. There you are!
I've been looking everywhere!
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199. Good day.
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200. Kurama, baby!
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201. Come with me now.
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202. I knew you'd rear your ugly head!
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203. Stay the hell away from my darling!
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204. Watch out! Lum's got her sights on you!
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205. Darling! Get outta the way!
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206. Obnoxious clown!
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207. Whap!
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208. WHAP!
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209. Playing hard to get, eh?
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210. Jeez, what do you even see in her?
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211. What guy could say no to
one night of amorous congress?
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212. It means no problems later!
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213. Have you been well, my husband?
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214. Miss Kurama, it's a pleasure to see you again.
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215. Wait a minute!
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216. You better explain yourself, lady!
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217. How do you even know Mendo?
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218. Princess!
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219. What in the flying hell?
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220. Oh, it's you.
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221. Where's the old timer?
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222. He's asleep in the spaceship.
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223. Those damn buffoons!
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224. Asleep? In the middle of the day?
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225. That's the elderly for you.
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226. I'm sure he must be exhausted
after dealing with
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227. all the stress of finding you
the perfect husband.
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228. Fair enough.
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229. I've caused gramps
enough trouble for a lifetime.
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230. The perfect husband? That must be me!
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231. Cut it out, you clown.
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232. SMACK
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233. Anyway, all is well!
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234. Since I've found the ideal husband!
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235. What? No way!
You can't just claim Mendo like that!
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236. Hey!
Get off of him!
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237. Enough! Quit yelling!
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238. Kurama, baby! You've got it all wrong!
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239. The one who woke you up with a kiss was...
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240. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
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241. Strange. I thought I heard him
say something important...
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242. It was only your imagination!
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243. Hey, Mendo!
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244. What's this all about?
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245. Well... it's hard to explain...
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246. Don't be coy. Just tell them!
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247. Shucks, I can't do that...
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248. Hey, pal!
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249. Come with us for a sec.
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250. A night of amorous congress, you say?
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251. Yessiree! We want you to just
play along and do the deed!
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252. The happiness of the princess and
the prosperity of our clan are at stake!
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253. Yes, but, I'm afraid I can't lie to her...
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254. Come on, it's wham, bam, thank you, ma'am!
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255. There is no downside!
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256. The princess is a real hottie, isn't she?
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257. And it won't cost you a thing!
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258. You guys sound like street peddlers...
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259. Keep wasting time and
that dimwit will do it before you!
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260. I suppose I have no choice.
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261. It's what's necessary to save her!
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262. Even hunks like him need time to
get in the right mindset, my lady.
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263. Miss Kurama.
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264. Please, allow me to aid you.
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265. Let's make wonderful children!
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266. How does that work?
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267. Ataru was the one who
woke her up with a ki-
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268. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
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269. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
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270. I think I heard that Zashiki-warashi girl
saying something...
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271. It's only your imagination!
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272. I was the one who did it!
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273. Kurama, baby. Don't listen to them.
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274. SNUGGLE
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275. Whap!
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276. WHAP!
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277. Obnoxious clown! Quit interrupting!
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278. Kurama, baby! Snap out of it!
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279. Darling, are you really just gonna let them
humiliate you over and over like that?
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280. Well, I'm a certain type of man...
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281. The type who gets his engines firing
the more that people make fun of him!
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282. The peanut gallery is so loud
I can't even think.
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283. I've decided we're going to
seal the deal right here and now.
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284. Sounds great!
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285. Let's get this over with and
hurry back to our planet!
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286. Make preparations!
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287. Wait, right here and now...?
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288. Oh my gosh...
No way...
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289. I'll help out, too!
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290. Wh-what is this?
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291. Our love nest, what else?
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292. You damn traitor!
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293. A love nest?
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294. Hold on a minute!
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295. You mean to say
we're going to do it in THAT?
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296. Why of course.
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297. You can't just build a love hotel here!
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298. It's totally outrageous!
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299. Ew, grody!
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300. Oh, shut up already!
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301. Child bearing is a holy rite in my culture!
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302. I don't have to stand here and take flack
from a bunch of prissy girls like you!
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303. How dare you!
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304. Get lost, harlot!
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305. Leave Mendo out of your dirty deeds!
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306. Hold on, where do you think you're going?
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307. Something suddenly came up...
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308. It's all ready to go!
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309. Okay! Go ahead, princess!
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310. All right! It's time to make babies.
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311. You can't be serious!
Who does this sort of thing in public?
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312. No worries, we made it so nobody
could peek from the outside.
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313. Just relax!
Nobody will be able to see us!
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314. Well, I'm still gonna FEEL
all their eyes on me!
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315. How on earth am I supposed to
get in the mood like that?
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316. Have no fear, good sir.
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317. We've decorated the inside in a way
that's sure to get you in the mood.
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318. Th-that doesn't sound subtle...
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319. THWACK
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320. Jeez! Learn when to give up already!
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321. Come! Let's shake the sheets!
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322. W-wait just a minute!
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323. Farewell, my sweet Mendo.
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324. You're in the clutches of
some other woman now...
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325. We're going to conceive the best children!
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326. Good luck, Princess!
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327. Aw hell! This is just the wooooooorst!
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328. Are you really that opposed
to doing it with me?
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329. Of course not, Miss Kurama.
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330. I'm ready to be at your service whenever,
if you just pick a time and place.
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331. Oh really?
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332. Huh?
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333. Then I pick here and now.
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334. Hold the phone!
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335. Huh?
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336. I'm not letting you take this any further!
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337. Y-you damn pest!
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338. Get the hell out!
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339. No can do!
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340. The only one getting down
with you today is me, baby!
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341. Give it a rest!
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342. It's true, Princess Kurama!
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343. Gramps? What are you doing here?
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344. I hate to be the bearer of bad news,
but this is the truth.
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345. The one who performed the kiss of awakening
on you was actually this numbsk-
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346. The chivalrous Ataru Moroboshi!
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347. Get outta here with that hogwash!
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348. Welp, I should get going...
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349. Stay put, you!
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350. You kissed me! Isn't that right?
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351. About that...
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352. PLEASE TELL EVERYONE THAT IT WAS YOU!
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353. Well, actually...
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354. Please forgive me, Miss Kurama.
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355. I never intended to deceive you.
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356. I only did it because you deserve happiness!
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357. You get it now? I'm your man!
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358. Princess! We must adhere to custom!
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359. C'mon, let's go to pound town!
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360. SNUGGLE
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361. I've committed such a grave sin!
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362. It doesn't even matter that I lied for
the sake of Miss Kurama's happiness!
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363. Dude, you were just whining about how much
you didn't want to go through with it.
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364. The lady clearly has feelings for me!
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365. And I'm trying to respect that!
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366. Oh just drop the act!
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367. If you really loved her then you'd have sealed
the deal regardless of the circumstances!
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368. This is why I can't stand you lowly commoners!
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369. How hard is it to tell the difference between
being in love and having no shame?
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370. Kurama, baby!
We gotta uphold the tradition!
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371. I say screw tradition!
Being true to your heart is more important!
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372. Kurama, baby!
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373. Miss Kurama!
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374. C'mon! Do it with me!
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375. No! Do it with me!
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376. You know, I'm starting to sense
a similar pattern in their behavior...
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377. I don't care if they're the same inside,
as long as the outside is different!
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378. Good-looks are what I care about!
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379. Yippee!
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380. Oh c'mon!
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381. You must not break tradition, princess!
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382. Think about what will happen if you
decide not to abide by the rules!
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383. What will happen?
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384. I dunno.
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385. What? Get serious!
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386. Doesn't our tradition have
rules and punishments?
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387. Well, to be honest,
I was only told
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388. that we couldn't break the rules
by the previous elder...
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389. So you don't know, then?
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390. Not the specifics.
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391. But we should be able to find the answer
if we go through the data from the past.
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392. Then hurry up and run a search!
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393. What are you doing?
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394. We're accessing the mother computer
on our home planet
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395. so we can seek knowledge from
the elders of previous generations.
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396. Everything is ready to go!
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397. We just need to go back to
the previous elder...
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398. Elder of the Previous Generation
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399. Whoa! Check it out!
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400. That's a huge crow.
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401. I am the elder of the previous generation.
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402. He looks exactly the same to me...
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403. We want to know what the
punishment and reasoning is
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404. for the traditional kiss of awakening!
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405. Well, ya see, I was just told by
the previous elder
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406. that it was a rule we couldn't break...
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407. Hrmmm... I guess we need to
go back even further.
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408. Elder of Two Generations Ago
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409. I see. Well, I was just following
what the previous elder told me.
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410. Hrm. Next.
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411. Elder of Three Generations Ago
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412. I just did what the previous elder did.
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413. Next!
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414. You gotta ask the elder before me.
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415. Elder of Four Generations Ago
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416. I'm starting to think that nobody knows...
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417. Dagnabbit!
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418. Then we're gonna go
all the way back to the first elder,
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419. he should know everything!
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420. The First Elder
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421. I am the first elder of our tribe.
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422. How many years into the past did you go?
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423. About 120 generations ago.
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424. Are you the one who established the tradition?
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425. I am, indeed.
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426. However, I was determined to never explain
the reason behind its creation to anyone.
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427. I wish to know why it was made!
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428. I should have the right to know that much!
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429. Very well.
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430. Given how insistent you are,
I will share its origins with you.
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431. It was many moons ago...
back when I was still a fledgling.
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432. Our peaceful world was on the verge
of falling into the clutches of evil
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433. after the princess had been captured.
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434. I was entrusted with the future of our tribe
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435. and departed on a
boundless journey to rescue her.
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436. During my adventure, I fought hard and
thwarted a great evil who tried to stop me.
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437. Then a dazzling light led me to
the shore of a large lake.
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438. And that's where I found a lady crow
who was deep in slumber.
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439. How beautiful...
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440. I knew it was improper of me,
but I just couldn't help myself.
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441. And I kissed the sleeping beauty!
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442. It must have been fated,
because the two of us were soon married.
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443. THE END
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444. I don't give a crap about
your sappy memories!
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445. Hurry up and explain the reason
you established the tradition!
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446. Well, that is the reason.
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447. I turned my young adventures into a tradition
so that I would never forget them fo-
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448. Th-that's so stupid!
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449. Ugh... what a waste of time.
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450. So I've been living my whole life dedicated to
a tradition that was utterly pointless?
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451. Princess...
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452. What's the matter?
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453. Oh nothing... I'm just shocked
that such an idiotic custom
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454. managed to survive and get
passed down for 120 generations.
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455. But isn't this good news?
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456. Now the two of us can be married without
worrying about breaking any rules.
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457. Th-that's true...
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458. Let's make beautiful children together.
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459. Miss Kurama.
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460. Hup!
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461. Wah! It's dark! It's cramped! I'm scared!
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462. It's dark! It's cramped! I'm scared!
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463. Darling? What are you doing?
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464. Wah! Let me outta here!
Take that! You buttmunch!
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465. Always acting like you're hot stuff!
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466. Waaah! It's dark!
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467. It's cramped! I'm scared!
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468. So dark! So cramped! So scaaaaary!
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469. Wait, Kurama. You're leaving?
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470. I can't stand pathetic men like that.
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471. I'm going to search for a hunk
with more muscle and mental fortitude.
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472. You were really quick to change your tune
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473. once you found out you didn't
have to follow tradition, huh?
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474. Well, knowing that I'm free
to choose my own husband
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475. has made me raise my standards.
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476. I don't need to settle for anyone now.
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477. I'm going to search high and low
for a man who checks all the boxes!
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478. Seriously?
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479. Please no!
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480. We don't even get paid overtime...
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481. We're back to square one.
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482. That's the spirit, Princess Kurama!
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483. The future for our clan will be very bright!
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484. Come on, boys!
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485. We're going to make up for lost time!
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486. I'll find him!
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487. The absolute perfect man for me!
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488. The Glove of Love and Conflict
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489. How I've Waited for You…
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490. Next time on Urusei Yatsura.
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491. Darling, you big dummy.
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