1. D-dude. What's the deal with that group?
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2. It's like a hottie convention.
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3. So, what's the occasion?
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4. You hardly ever invite us out, Oyuki.
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5. Did something happen?
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6. Well, do you remember Planet Urchin?
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7. Planet Urchin?
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8. You mean the one with all those spikes?
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9. Yes, that's the one.
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10. They've apparently started to redevelop it.
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11. Oh really?
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12. Why's that?
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13. It's a barren planet with
nothing but calcium spikes.
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14. What could they use it for?
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15. As it turns out, they discovered
soil filled with high-protein amino acids
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16. lying underneath the calcium layer,
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17. so they're in the middle of doing
a large-scale excavation there.
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18. But what does Planet Urchin
have to do with us?
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19. W-wait!
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20. Are you saying this is about CAO-2?
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21. It's only a matter of time
until he's discovered. Probably.
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22. Why didn't you start by telling us that?
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23. Because I wanted to enjoy my tea first...
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24. This ain't the time to be
loafing around, dammit!
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25. What're we gonna do?
I don't want any trouble!
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26. QUIT FREAKING OUT!
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27. YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE FREAKING OUT!
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28. It's fine!
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29. Nobody cares what happened years ago!
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30. Oh no... not CAO-2...
Shit! I didn't want to get dragged into this!
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31. Trapped in an endless pitfall of love and crazy about you
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32. Don't let your eyes wander darling, that's a no-no
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33. Pain pain, fly away, until only love remains
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34. My heart is stirring with affection
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35. I hate being alone, just a touch is enough
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36. To be connected y'know, it's a nice feeling y'know
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37. The negative opinions of others don't matter
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38. Like the saying goes, love is blind
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39. I will never have the ultimate fashion sense
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40. Is it envy? Or misery? In this story
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41. Feelings communicated in mentions
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42. C'mon, I want it communicated in words
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43. Trapped in an endless pitfall of love and crazy about you
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44. Don't let your eyes wander darling, that's a no-no
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45. Pain pain, fly away, until only love remains
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46. Although it's also stressful
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47. Cheating and drowning in dreams
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48. There's no realistic romance anymore
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49. Trapped in a pitfall of love and crazy about you
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50. My heart is stirring with affection
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51. La la la la la
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52. Compulsive, I need you
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53. La la la la la
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54. Loneliness is a disease
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55. La la la la la
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56. Blind, I need you
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57. Now and forever, I wanna be crazy about you
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58. This is a story that takes place
a number of years ago.
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59. What you see before you
is the School Colony!
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60. It is an amalgamation of various
educational institutions,
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61. and where children from different planets
across the system come to attend school.
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62. In one sector of this colony is
Planet Elementary School.
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63. It is home to a legendary teacher.
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64. Clickety-clack, clickety-clack...
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65. He has a body of pure metal and
has worked for 200 consecutive years.
Clickety-clack, clickety-clack...
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66. He is a robot teacher known for his
iron mentality and steel confidence!
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67. Try this on for size!
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68. Oh? That's how you're gonna play it?
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69. Clickety-clack.
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70. And his name is...
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71. CAO-2, THE COSMO TEACHER!
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72. Quiet down, everyone! Take your seats!
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73. All right. Time for roll call.
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74. Heck yeah! I win!
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75. See that, Ran?
I totally whooped her butt!
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76. N-not so loud...
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77. That one doesn't count!
Let's play again! One more time!
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78. Enough!
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79. You girls better start listening to me!
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80. Get in your seats now!
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81. Cosmo Teacher
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82. CAO-2
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83. Ha-ha!
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84. Look at the losers who got in trouble!
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85. Fudge!
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86. That stupid jerkface teacher!
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87. I hate CAO-2.
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88. I don't care if he's worked here
for 200 years or whatever.
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89. He's not the boss of me!
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90. We should give him
a taste of his own medicine!
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91. Yeah!
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92. Oh no. What are you going to do?
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93. Well, he's too tough to even flinch
unless we really lay it on him.
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94. Hey. Listen to me for a sec.
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95. Huh?
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96. What is it?
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97. First, we rig the door to the classroom...
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98. Whisper, whisper, whisper...
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99. BABABABAM!
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100. VRRRRM!
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101. All done!
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102. Perfect. Here goes!
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103. G-gosh, I'm not sure about this...
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104. It's ready to go!
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105. Okay.
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106. C'mon, let's haul it up!
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107. You're good! You're good!
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108. Stop!
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109. Sweet! That should do it!
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110. Guys? I don't think this is a good idea.
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111. We're gonna get in trouble again!
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112. It's too late to back out now!
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113. Get ready to feel the pain, CAO-2!
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114. Clickety-clack, clickety-clack, clickety-clack...
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115. Aw yeah, here he comes!
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116. Do it, sucker!
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117. BOOOONK
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118. Clickety-clack, clickety-clack...
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119. Clickety-clack, clickety-clack...
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120. How nice, it seems you're all
unusually quiet today!
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121. Yo, what the heck happened?
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122. Well, let's get started.
Yo, what the heck happened?
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123. Well, let's get started.
He didn't feel a thing at all!
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124. Everyone stand.
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125. And bow.
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126. KAWHAM!
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127. WHO'S RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS?
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128. Owie, owie, owie...
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129. This is why I said you shouldn't do it.
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130. When the heck was that?
You didn't do a darn thing to stop us!
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131. Oh? That's not what I remember...
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132. I told you guys it was a bad idea!
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133. Aw phooey!
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134. WHY DON'T YOU GUYS LISTEN TO ME?
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135. Hard to believe you were all
such troublemakers.
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136. Huh?
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137. Darling? When did you get here?
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138. Wow, that's surprising.
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139. Even you were a little rascal back in
elementary school, huh, Miss Lum?
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140. Oh my.
Where did he come crawling out from?
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141. You know, I was actually
a good girl back then.
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142. The only reason I helped out
with all that mischief
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143. was because Lum ordered me to!
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144. Why do you always pin the blame on me?
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145. Eeek! Save me, darling!
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146. I've got you, baby.
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147. Boo-hoo! Boo-hoo!
Stop it! Get away from him!
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148. Come now, Ran. You should have just
spoken up and let them know how you felt.
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149. Totally.
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150. Oyuki was the only one of us
who kept her hands clean.
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151. Although she never tried to stop us...
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152. I'm not just gonna call it quits after that!
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153. Don't try and stop me, Oyuki!
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154. Are you ready, Lum?
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155. Yep! I'm raring to go!
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156. Guys, he's coming!
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157. Clickety-clack, clickety-clack...
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158. He's in for the shock of his life!
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159. Guys? Maybe we shouldn't do this...
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160. No way! Take this!
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161. Let 'er rip, Lum!
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162. Okay!
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163. KAZAZAZAZAZAZAZAZAZAZAP!
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164. Bet that hurt!
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165. Check it out! We fried his circuits!
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166. All according to plan!
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167. Eat dirt, sucker!
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168. Owie, owie, owie!
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169. See! I told you guys!
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170. Waaah! This sucks!
That jerkface! He totally fell on purpose!
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171. Waaah! This sucks!
Don't be silly.
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172. He was completely shorted out.
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173. That's quite a thrilling story.
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174. I advised them against doing it.
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175. No, you friggin' did not!
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176. If he was so tough, you should've just
launched a missile or something at him!
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177. We did.
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178. Wha?
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179. A missile. We shot one at him.
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180. Guys! I really don't wanna do this!
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181. We can't fire the missile unless
all three of us hold it up!
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182. He's doomed this time!
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183. Clickety-clack, clickety-clack...
He's doomed this time!
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184. Clickety-clack, clickety-clack...
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185. Clickety-clack, clickety-clack...
Here he comes! Get ready!
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186. Kiss your robo-butt goodbye, CAO-2!
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187. Open fire!
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188. KABLOOOOOEY!
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189. Right on target!
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190. Did that wipe him out?
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191. Clickety...
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192. NOT YOU BRATS AGAIN!
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193. I've had enough of your antics;
you won't get off easy today!
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194. He's tougher than nails!
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195. Oh poo. I haven't done anything.
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196. I never wanted to do it! I told you guys!
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197. COME HERE THIS INSTANT!
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198. Hey, look!
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199. It's an air bike!
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200. Everyone, get on it!
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201. There's no way he'd chase us this far out.
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202. NOT SO FAST!
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203. He's on our tail!
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204. I'll shake him! Everybody, hang tight!
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205. GET BACK HERE!
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206. He's going to catch us.
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207. Waaah! No more!
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208. I told you I didn't wanna do it!
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209. Benten! Do something!
I told you I didn't wanna do it!
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210. Aw fudge!
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211. Look over there!
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212. It's Planet Urchin!
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213. Nice! We can lose him
somewhere in there!
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214. STOOOOOP!
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215. I SAID STOOOOP!
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216. We're doomed! He's gonna hit us!
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217. HANG ON!
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218. RAMMO!
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219. U-uh oh...
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220. We did it!
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221. He's totally stuck!
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222. Argh! I can't move!
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223. Serves you right, CAO-2!
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224. We've got him beat this time!
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225. See you never, CAO-2!
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226. H-hey! Stop right there!
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227. Aw crap.
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228. Hey! You little whelps!
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229. You haven't seen the last of me yet!
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230. Whew, that was a close one.
You haven't seen the last of me yet!
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231. Whew, that was a close one.
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232. Planet Urchin is a deserted planet
out on the fringes of space.
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233. No one would ever know
if we didn't say anything.
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234. Hold up. You just left him there like that...?
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235. He's definitely going to come punish us.
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236. You think so?
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237. Actually, I remembered something...
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238. You little whelps!
You haven't seen the last of me yet!
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239. I'll make sure you get disciplined for this!
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240. He sounded real sure of himself.
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241. Oh please. That was so long ago.
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242. I'm certain he's forgotten all about it.
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243. Y-yeah, that's right!
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244. Hold on! It doesn't matter if we
think it's in the past,
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245. because he probably
still remembers it like yesterday!
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246. And if he gets free...
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247. You little whelps...
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248. CAO-2!
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249. W-wait!
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250. SMASH!
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251. SMASH!
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252. SMASH!
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253. Wh-what the hell was that thing?
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254. It kinda looked like a giant
blackboard eraser to me...
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255. That bastard!
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256. Same old teacher.
Nothing's changed about him.
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257. Why did I get hit too...?
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258. He got us good.
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259. SHIT! THIS IS WHY I TOLD YOU GUYS
I DIDN'T WANNA DO IT!
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260. That felt good.
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261. It's finished.
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262. Pardon me a moment.
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263. Oh, Lady Ryoko!
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264. Does my brother happen to still be awake?
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265. Yes, ma'am. I believe...
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266. he's currently reading a book.
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267. Dear brother!
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268. Oh jeez, Ryoko.
What's with that crazy getup?
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269. I'm just trying to set the mood.
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270. For you see, I was making a voodoo doll.
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271. You have the most bizarre hobbies, I swear.
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272. Look, dear brother.
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273. Isn't it adorable?
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274. Y-you wouldn't dare!
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275. As sharp as ever, my dear brother.
Nothing gets by you!
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276. SNAP!
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277. Just hand over the doll, nice and easy!
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278. Oh my!
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279. Or else- wah!
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280. SNAP!
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281. H-how could you turn a sword on
your own younger sister?
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282. YOU'LL PAY FOR THAT!
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283. CUT IT OUT!
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284. Ooh, Scary! Voodoo Doll
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285. It has so much power...
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286. Goodness me,
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287. I'm starting to fear I've created something
that shouldn't have been trifled with.
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288. Just sitting here and looking at it makes me...
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289. want to do stuff like this!
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290. Wah! Hot! Hot! Hot!
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291. And stuff like this!
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292. Young Master...?
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293. A-and even things like this...!
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294. Are you okay?
Ow! Ow! Ow!
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295. Ow! Ow! Ow!
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296. I'm terrified that I can't control myself!
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297. Young Master! Young Master!
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298. Oh! Whatever shall I do?
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299. I'm at a loss!
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300. Wait, I know! I'll give it to him.
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301. There will be no problems
if I give it to that gentleman.
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302. I just know I can trust him with it!
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303. He has such an honest heart,
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304. and always acts with such kindness!
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305. The Gentleman
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306. So, I just need to hold on to this doll?
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307. Yessir!
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308. We cannot explain the details.
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309. Just know that she would like
you to keep it safe
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310. and carry it on your person at all times.
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311. All right.
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312. I dunno what the deal is, but roger that!
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313. Your cooperation is appreciated.
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314. Just leave it to me!
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315. "If he got wet, he transformed into a girl."
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316. That accursed Ryoko.
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317. "Throw hot water at him..."
That accursed Ryoko.
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318. "Throw hot water at him..."
Her crazy creations always cause me trouble.
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319. Please rest assured!
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320. I left the doll in the safest place
that I could think of.
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321. She tried to play it off,
but I know Ryoko better.
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322. The situation remains dire.
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323. Mendo!
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324. U-uh, yessir?
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325. Go on. You read the next part.
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326. "When his dad got wet,
he transformed into a panda..."
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327. JAB
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328. STING...
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329. Wh-what's wrong, Mendo?
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330. Nothing... I'm fine...
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331. Warm up with 10 pushups.
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332. Start!
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333. Pushups are the basis for
all sorts of exercises.
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334. This is very bad.
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335. Something is clearly happening to that doll.
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336. But where the hell did Ryoko put it?
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337. It sucks how much it gets in the way.
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338. But I gotta keep this doll from Ryoko with me!
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339. What's wrong, Moroboshi?
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340. I don't see those arms moving.
You giving up?
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341. N-no!
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342. How pathetic.
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343. Crap, I'm at my limit!
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344. Good thing I'm fit. My daily training
really pays off in times lik-
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345. WHOMP!
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346. WHOMP!
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347. Aw jeez, you gotta be kidding me!
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348. Keep it together, you two!
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349. CLASS 2-4
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350. Don't tell me...
Moroboshi has the doll?
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351. Hey, Shinobu!
You smell extra nice today!
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352. Oh, you noticed?
I changed my shampoo!
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353. You really have sharp senses
when it comes to things like that, huh?
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354. Of course! That's because
I'm super into you, baby.
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355. Oh please! Don't even start, Ataru!
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356. WHAP!
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357. What're you doing up there, Mendo?
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358. Oh, nothing.
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359. Please no... not him...!
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360. Darling!
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361. Just quit fooling around with Shinobu
and you won't get hurt like that!
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362. What's that supposed to mean?
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363. KAZAZAZAZAZAZAZAZAZAZAP!
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364. There's no doubt about it.
Moroboshi has the voodoo doll.
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365. And what's more...
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366. he appears to have no idea
what it really is.
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367. He'd be doing far worse if he did.
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368. Argh! The pain!
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369. I have to get it back
without him noticing.
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370. Ryu, sweetie!
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371. Oh hey.
Did you change your shampoo, too?
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372. SHUDDER
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373. You smell so nice.
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374. What the hell, man?
You're always such a friggin' creep!
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375. BIFF!
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376. M-Mendo...?
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377. Awwww...
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378. Did Mendo just...
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379. cover for Ataru?
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380. Moroboshi.
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381. Try and keep yourself
out of harm's way, okay?
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382. Sure.
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383. The hell does that mean?
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384. Thank you, Shutaro!
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385. I'm so happy you protected my darling!
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386. It was nothing!
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387. Crud. It's too risky to let Moroboshi
out of my sights for even a second.
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388. Huh? Where did Moroboshi go?
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389. Oh, he just left.
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390. He went up to the roof to play
some volleyball.
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391. DAMMIT! QUIT BOUNCING
ALL OVER THE PLACE!
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392. Hup!
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393. I got it, I got it!
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394. Come to papa!
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395. WATCH OOOOOOOUT!
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396. FWAP!
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397. What the?
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398. Hey, Mendo!
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399. You okay, man?
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400. Dude. I can't believe you did that.
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401. Wh-what about Moroboshi...?
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402. Is Moroboshi okay?
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403. No worries. He's fit as a fiddle.
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404. Th-that's good...
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405. What a relief.
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406. Mendo... you're a stand-up guy...
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407. Awwww...
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408. I didn't know you cared so much.
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409. Mo... Moroboshi...
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410. GROPE
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411. What're you doing? Quit feeling me up!
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412. SLAM!
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413. I figured that's where it was!
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414. Man, you are hard to figure out.
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415. First you save me,
then you point a sword at me!
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416. SHUT YOUR FACE!
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417. Give me what you have
in your chest pocket right now,
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418. if you want to live to see another day!
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419. F-fine then.
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420. I don't know what the deal is, but...
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421. Here.
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422. I NEVER SAID ANYTHING ABOUT
YOUR WALLET, STUPID!
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423. I want the straw doll that you have
stuffed under your shirt!
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424. Give it to me right now!
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425. Straw doll?
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426. You mean this thing?
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427. Yes! That's it!
That's exactly what I want!
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428. I'd rather die than give you this!
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429. It's a special treasure
that I'm keeping for Ryoko!
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430. Oh yeah?
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431. All right.
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432. Then it's time to die.
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433. Whoa, I never said I wouldn't give it to you!
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434. Just tell me what's going on first...
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435. IF I WANTED TO TELL YOU,
I WOULD HAVE DONE IT ALREADY, DAMMIT!
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436. SWOOP!
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437. Actually...
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438. Whisper...
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439. Whisper, whisper.
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440. I see. So that's what's going on.
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441. Mendo!
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442. You're such a bonehead.
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443. Huh?
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444. Why didn't you just tell us the truth
from the get-go?
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445. You know we're all classmates
who respect each other here!
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446. M-Moroboshi...
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447. If only I'd known what it really was,
then I could have...
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448. done this sooner!
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449. This is payback for all the shit
you put me through!
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450. Moroboshi!
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451. Mark my words, you'll rue this day!
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452. Moroboshi...!
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453. Moroboshi.
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454. What's up, Mendo?
Didja come for another taste of pain?
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455. N-no way!
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456. Yes way! It's a voodoo doll of you!
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457. Now it's my turn! Take this!
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458. Go on! Suffer!
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459. If that's how you wanna play it...
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460. then take this!
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461. Too bad! I'm already used to that
after yesterday's fiasco!
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462. Now it's a contest to see
who gives up first!
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463. Fine by me!
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464. Please don't, Mendo!
It's too dangerous!
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465. You can do it, darling!
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466. EAT THIS!
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467. OUCH!
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468. Owww! That stings!
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469. Time for round two!
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470. Like hell it is!
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471. KAWHAM!
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472. Ouch!
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473. Talk about a totally pointless fight.
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474. Yeah, no kidding.
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475. The pain!
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476. It's not enough, I want more love
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477. I can't imagine myself with anyone other than you
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478. So fall for me and look only at me
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479. I already love you even down to your marrow
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480. Deep in those eyes, who are you waiting for?
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481. All you've shown me is your face from the side
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482. I want to know
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483. Give me love, give me love, that's all
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484. Out of every planet it was Earth that I came to
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485. Because your presence drew me to it
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486. I want you to respond, to the vagueness
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487. To I need you
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488. I wanna solve the complication
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489. I want shared love
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490. C'mon c'mon, darling darling
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491. Even if we get separated
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492. C'mon c'mon, darling darling
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493. At the ends of the universe
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494. Just sew the stars and moon together
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495. And draw them close
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496. After all
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497. It's not enough, I want more love
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498. I can't imagine myself with anyone other than you
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499. So fall for me and look only at me
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500. I already love you even down to your marrow
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501. No way no way, don't run off somewhere
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502. I want to revolve around the planet known as you
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503. Hey look this way, then look that way
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504. In spite of everything, I'm just so in love with you
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505. Absolutely, absolutely
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506. I'll give you a shock
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507. Enough, enough
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508. Not enough love
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509. Big Bottle, Little Bottle
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510. When Love Strikes
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511. On the next episode of "Urusei Yatsura"!
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512. Bark!
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