1. Oh, come on!Copy !req
2. Run the fricken ball!Copy !req
3. What are you doin' coach?Copy !req
4. This whole team
is run by morons!Copy !req
5. Yo, Hoagies!Copy !req
6. Maybe if you yell a little
louder, they can hear youCopy !req
7. over there in Minneapolis!Copy !req
8. Oh, great.Copy !req
9. Fricken Steve DelVecchio.Copy !req
10. Oh, cool.Copy !req
11. No, Hank.Copy !req
12. The guy's a freakin' douchebag.Copy !req
13. Hate to break it to you, Steve,
but you're at a sports bar.Copy !req
14. Oh, great.Copy !req
15. Here he comes.Copy !req
16. Let me ask you something.Copy !req
17. Why in the hell would they
run the ball when they'reCopy !req
18. down by 14 with no timeouts?Copy !req
19. It's called smash
mouth football, okay?Copy !req
20. You ever heard of it?Copy !req
21. Pound the rock.Copy !req
22. You're literally just
yelling stuff, you know that?Copy !req
23. You got no clue what you're
talking about, Hoagies.Copy !req
24. Oh yeah?Copy !req
25. What makes you an authority?Copy !req
26. How about this.Copy !req
27. Whoa, is that a Super Bowl ring?Copy !req
28. Pfft, where'd you get
that? The Halloween store?Copy !req
29. No, I earned it, okay?Copy !req
30. I played a pivotal role
in the Eagles championshipCopy !req
31. run, thank you.Copy !req
32. Oh, get out of here, Steve.Copy !req
33. You work in ticket sales.Copy !req
34. That's a BS ring right there.Copy !req
35. No such thing.Copy !req
36. Whoa, is that a Super Bowl ring?Copy !req
37. You bet your ass it is.Copy !req
38. Wow! Beer's on the house.Copy !req
39. Thanks, man.Copy !req
40. Later, Hoagies.Copy !req
41. Unbelievable.Copy !req
42. Yeah, I can't believe
Steve DelVecchio is aCopy !req
43. Super Bowl champion.Copy !req
44. He's a fraud, Hank.Copy !req
45. I cannot and will not sit
idly by while Steve frickin'Copy !req
46. DelVecchio runs around
acting like football royalty,Copy !req
47. reaping the benefits of a
ring he does not deserve.Copy !req
48. Well, uh, what are you
gonna do about it, Mark?Copy !req
49. I'm also gonna reap
the benefits, baby.Copy !req
50. Boom.Copy !req
51. Suck it, DelVecchio.Copy !req
52. Ha, whoa there, Johnny Depp.Copy !req
53. Since when do you wear jewelry?Copy !req
54. Oh, this is way more
than jewelry, Tam.Copy !req
55. This is an official
Eagles Super Bowl ring.Copy !req
56. How'd you get your hands
on a Super Bowl ring?Copy !req
57. Doesn't matter how
you get a ring.Copy !req
58. What matters is
that you got one.Copy !req
59. With this thing?Copy !req
60. People respect your
football opinions.Copy !req
61. No longer will I be
treated like a dumb fan.Copy !req
62. Oh, yeah?Copy !req
63. The minute you open your
mouth, you're gonna beCopy !req
64. exposed as a total fraud.Copy !req
65. Bet you can't even
name one play.Copy !req
66. Pfft, yeah, okay, hon.
That's ridiculous.Copy !req
67. Can't even name— I know a
ton of plays, actually, okay?Copy !req
68. Like, uh, what's the
one where they, uh, runCopy !req
69. the ball up the middle?Copy !req
70. Oh, hey, guys!Copy !req
71. Either you wanna go to
the Eagles game today?Copy !req
72. Our son would rather watch
people play video games.Copy !req
73. Oh, thanks.Copy !req
74. But I actually
have brunch plans.Copy !req
75. David, they're playing New York.Copy !req
76. Um...Copy !req
77. Yeah, no chance.Copy !req
78. He gets uncomfortable around
macho stuff like that.Copy !req
79. Wait, what?Copy !req
80. What do you mean by that?Copy !req
81. Yeah, come on, it'll be fun.Copy !req
82. You ever been to a
Birds game before?Copy !req
83. I have not, actually.Copy !req
84. David, stop.Copy !req
85. You and I both know you'll
have a horrible time.Copy !req
86. You know, there's a lot you
don't know about me, Andrea.Copy !req
87. You literally never
watch football.Copy !req
88. Yeah, but that doesn't
mean I can't enjoy a game,Copy !req
89. like a regular dude guy.Copy !req
90. So is that a yes?Copy !req
91. Uh, yes.Copy !req
92. Yes, I would love to go.Copy !req
93. Let me just, uh,
I'll be right back.Copy !req
94. I'm gonna go grab
my football hat.Copy !req
95. Well, good luck.Copy !req
96. Oh, come on.Copy !req
97. He's gonna love it.Copy !req
98. Giants Suck!Copy !req
99. Yeah, I don't know if
wearing that Giants hat wasCopy !req
100. such a smart idea, okay?Copy !req
101. Eagles fans are maniacs.Copy !req
102. Don't worry, David.Copy !req
103. Just have fun.Copy !req
104. Eagles fans get a bad rep.Copy !req
105. Eh, I don't know, Tam.Copy !req
106. There's a reason they got
a jail under the stadium.Copy !req
107. Oh, come on.Copy !req
108. Eagles jail's a myth.Copy !req
109. Like the Jersey Devil, or those,
uh, Ben Franklin Bridge Trolls.Copy !req
110. Wait, troll—
Do you mean tolls?Copy !req
111. No, David.Copy !req
112. Trolls, okay?Copy !req
113. There's these little
trolls that live underCopy !req
114. the Ben Franklin Bridge.Copy !req
115. Everybody knows that.Copy !req
116. You say that like it's a fact.Copy !req
117. I actually have a Super
Bowl ring, so everythingCopy !req
118. I say is a fact.Copy !req
119. Okay, Mark.
I could buy a tiara.Copy !req
120. Does that make me
freakin' Princess Diana?Copy !req
121. You know what?Copy !req
122. Let's go, Hank.Copy !req
123. We spent enough time
amongst the, uh, hoi polloi.Copy !req
124. Time to go flex this
ring and mingle withCopy !req
125. the first class fans.Copy !req
126. Fine.
Have fun, Mark.Copy !req
127. David and I will be enjoying
the game with the real fans.Copy !req
128. Ain't that right, David?Copy !req
129. Oh, absolutely.Copy !req
130. I want the authentic
cultural experience.Copy !req
131. Hi.Copy !req
132. I like your tat.Copy !req
133. Are you making fun of me?Copy !req
134. What?Copy !req
135. No, no, no, no.Copy !req
136. I think, uh, I think
it's really cool.Copy !req
137. 2005?Copy !req
138. Wow.Copy !req
139. Great Super Bowl, right?Copy !req
140. No, it wasn't.Copy !req
141. Eagles lost.Copy !req
142. Oh... So then why—Copy !req
143. I got it in 2004.
I was feeling pretty confident.Copy !req
144. Got it.Copy !req
145. Maybe you could, uh,
use the ring to getCopy !req
146. like, uh, free hot dogs.Copy !req
147. No, no, no.Copy !req
148. You got to think bigger, Hank.Copy !req
149. Oh, yeah, you're right.Copy !req
150. We could meet Swoop.Copy !req
151. Oh, come on, Hank.Copy !req
152. Okay, any five year old can
meet the mascot, but not justCopy !req
153. anyone can go up there, baby.Copy !req
154. Ticket?Copy !req
155. Here's my ticket.Copy !req
156. Yeah, that's not
really, uh, whatever.Copy !req
157. Oh, yeah, now this is the filet
mignon of the fan experience.Copy !req
158. This is where the real heavy
hitters watch the game.Copy !req
159. No fricken way.Copy !req
160. Woo!
Let's go, Birds!Copy !req
161. Get a stop!
Come on!Copy !req
162. Let's go, The Giants!Copy !req
163. Get a stop!Copy !req
164. Hey, moron!Copy !req
165. You're on offense!Copy !req
166. Oh, just ignore him.Copy !req
167. Oh, it's all good.Copy !req
168. It's part of the fun.Copy !req
169. Hey, I can take it.Copy !req
170. Heh heh.Copy !req
171. Let's go, New York!Copy !req
172. Giants suck, you freaking nerd.Copy !req
173. Hey, whoa there.
Hey,Copy !req
174. counter point: Eagles
suck, you nerd.Copy !req
175. Say one more thing to my
kid and I'll shove thatCopy !req
176. hat right down your throat!Copy !req
177. Understood.
I am so sorry, ma'am.Copy !req
178. Oh man, which one
should we go in?Copy !req
179. Hank, we can go in
any one we want.Copy !req
180. We got the ring.Copy !req
181. We're VIPs.Copy !req
182. Oh yeah. Got the
unlimited egg rolls.Copy !req
183. Got the air conditioning.Copy !req
184. Dude's in a business casual.Copy !req
185. Jackpot, baby.Copy !req
186. Oh yeah, now this is
how you watch a game.Copy !req
187. Oh hell yeah, yeah, let
me get one of those.Copy !req
188. Uh, no thanks.Copy !req
189. I, uh, I feel bad
eating the babies.Copy !req
190. So, uh, you from New York City?Copy !req
191. Yeah, well, Westchester, but
it's like right next toCopy !req
192. the Bronx, so...Copy !req
193. You into theater?Copy !req
194. Pfft! Theater?Copy !req
195. No, I mean, I've seen a
show or two, but I'm notCopy !req
196. like some fancy theater boy.Copy !req
197. Ah, damn, I was thinking
of taking my girl toCopy !req
198. a Broadway show, but
wasn't sure what to see.Copy !req
199. Oh, really?Copy !req
200. Um, what about Hamilton?Copy !req
201. It's terrific.Copy !req
202. Oh, yeah, because I heard it
was a bunch of woke, B.S.Copy !req
203. Oh!Copy !req
204. Uh, yeah, totally.Copy !req
205. Totally overrated.Copy !req
206. I mean, you don't
want to see that crap.Copy !req
207. But, uh, maybe, you know,
Stomp is more up your alley?Copy !req
208. Stomp!Copy !req
209. Stomp, okay, uh, Is that the
one where they're all cats?Copy !req
210. No, that's— that's Cats.Copy !req
211. Ahh.
You want?Copy !req
212. Um, uh, yeah, yeah, let's do it.Copy !req
213. David, I wouldn't.Copy !req
214. Oh, it's fine, Tammy.Copy !req
215. I'm hanging out.Copy !req
216. I'm being a dude.Copy !req
217. I'm going with the flow.Copy !req
218. Yeah, dude, yeah.Copy !req
219. My god, what is that?Copy !req
220. Oh, uh, mostly rubbing
alcohol into race gas, yeah.Copy !req
221. Keeps me responsible.Copy !req
222. Can't drive home if you
drank all your fuel.Copy !req
223. You see, this whole team
is soft because the coachCopy !req
224. is a fricken goofball bozo.Copy !req
225. I mean, whatever happened
to old school punch - emCopy !req
226. in - the - mouth football?Copy !req
227. Run the ball and play defense.Copy !req
228. Hey, but what do I know?Copy !req
229. Just my expert opinion.Copy !req
230. Wow, this guy really knows ball.Copy !req
231. You were on our Super Bowl team?Copy !req
232. Oh yeah, oh yeah, I was a, uh,
a coaching consultant, yeah.Copy !req
233. That was— That's what I was.Copy !req
234. I thought I knew
everyone onCopy !req
235. that team, but, uh, forgive
me, I don't recognize you.Copy !req
236. That's because he's a fraud.Copy !req
237. DelVecchio.Copy !req
238. The hell are you doing here,
Hoagies?Copy !req
239. Oh, you know, just mingling with
my fellow football connoisseurs.Copy !req
240. Oh, are you now!
That's interesting.Copy !req
241. Have you shared with
them how you think theCopy !req
242. team is run by morons?Copy !req
243. Oh yeah, well the fricken owner,Copy !req
244. that guy's a
stone cold moron.Copy !req
245. He doesn't have the balls to
take this team over the top.Copy !req
246. Pfft!Copy !req
247. Well, Mark, thank you for
your candid assessment.Copy !req
248. I'm sure our esteemed owner
here appreciates it very much.Copy !req
249. Hey, listen. Old school hard -
nosed leatherheads like me?Copy !req
250. Yeah, we're not gonna B.S.
you and stroke your ego.Copy !req
251. We care about one
thing,-- winning,Copy !req
252. and sometimes,
that ain't pretty.Copy !req
253. You wanna go ahead and surround
yourself with sycophants?Copy !req
254. Be my guest.Copy !req
255. You know who else did that?Copy !req
256. Saddam Hussein.Copy !req
257. And where is he now?Copy !req
258. Certainly not winning any
Super Bowls, that's for sure.Copy !req
259. You know, I've owned this
team for 30 years, andCopy !req
260. not once has anyone ever
spoken to me like that.Copy !req
261. Sorry if that hurts
your feelings.Copy !req
262. Let's go, Hank.Copy !req
263. Don't apologize.Copy !req
264. You're right.Copy !req
265. Wait, what?Copy !req
266. This franchise lacks toughness.Copy !req
267. I was going to wait until
the season ended to evaluateCopy !req
268. the coach, but after hearing
your brutally honest expertCopy !req
269. opinion, it's clear we
need to make a change now.Copy !req
270. Sir, please.Copy !req
271. I— I don't think you should
be li—Copy !req
272. Let me tell you something,
Sales Guy.Copy !req
273. I didn't get rich
by playing it safe.Copy !req
274. I got rich by having
a rich grandfather.Copy !req
275. Who knew when to trust his gut.Copy !req
276. How'd you like to be
the next coach of theCopy !req
277. Philadelphia Eagles?Copy !req
278. Oh, hell yeah.
When do I start?Copy !req
279. Right now.Copy !req
280. Gotta be bold, right?Copy !req
281. What the hell is going on?Copy !req
282. Yo, how cool is this, Hank?Copy !req
283. Okay, this ring, best
purchase ever, okay?Copy !req
284. I'm about to be the
coach of the Eagles.Copy !req
285. You sure you know how
to be a head coach?Copy !req
286. Oh, absolutely.Copy !req
287. They got a million
assistant coaches thatCopy !req
288. do all the real work.Copy !req
289. All the head coach does is
just run up and down theCopy !req
290. sidelines yelling crap.Copy !req
291. Oh man, you'd be great at that.Copy !req
292. So, uh, you think like, uh,
maybe I could have a role?Copy !req
293. I'm thinking like, uh, I don't
know, mascot or something?Copy !req
294. I don't know, Hank.Copy !req
295. I run a meritocracy here, okay?Copy !req
296. Yeah, okay.Copy !req
297. Tell you what, you can be the
backup mascot, but if you wantCopy !req
298. to start, you gotta earn it.Copy !req
299. Oh, gee, thanks, Mark.Copy !req
300. I won't let you down.Copy !req
301. Better not, because there's
no losers on my staff.Copy !req
302. Now let's go kick
some Giants ass!Copy !req
303. Okay, guys. Culture
change, okay?Copy !req
304. We're bringing back an
old-school mentality.Copy !req
305. It's all about physical and
mental toughness. You got that?Copy !req
306. Uh, who the hell are you?Copy !req
307. I'm Mark Hoagies.
Your new head coach.Copy !req
308. Uh... okay.
Well, I just need a play.Copy !req
309. Okay, yeah, just ah...Copy !req
310. Due to one where you, uh, I
don't know, run a ball up theCopy !req
311. middle, whatever it's called.Copy !req
312. Uh, it's fourth and fifteen.Copy !req
313. I don't give a damn if it's
fourth and fifty million miles!Copy !req
314. You pound that
fricken' rock, pal!Copy !req
315. Man, it looks
like the Eagles are lining upCopy !req
316. in a power formation.Copy !req
317. Are they going for this?Copy !req
318. Maybe trying to get the
Giants to jump offside?Copy !req
319. Oh my God, they're
actually doing it.Copy !req
320. And it's a first down
Eagles, what a play call.Copy !req
321. I don't know who this new
coach is, but he has got ballsCopy !req
322. the size of the Liberty Bell.Copy !req
323. Nice job boys,
let's run it again.Copy !req
324. Uh... okay.Copy !req
325. Another run.Copy !req
326. And this time they're
stopped for a one yard gain.Copy !req
327. Run it again, let's go.Copy !req
328. Uh, coach.Copy !req
329. Maybe we want to
try something else?Copy !req
330. Uh uh uh, no.Copy !req
331. This is old-school, jam it down
her throat's football, okay?Copy !req
332. Run it again.Copy !req
333. And another run up
the middle.Copy !req
334. This time for
no gain.Copy !req
335. Wooo!Copy !req
336. Ah, what the hell
is this coach doing?Copy !req
337. Maybe Mark is right,
this guy is a moron.Copy !req
338. What flavor they got today?Copy !req
339. Oh, uh, blue.Copy !req
340. Oh yeah, that's my favorite.Copy !req
341. Wait, me too.Copy !req
342. So do you work around
here or just hanging out?Copy !req
343. Uh, yeah, I'm
actually the punter.Copy !req
344. Oh, wow, I'm a big
fan of punting.Copy !req
345. Wait, really?Copy !req
346. That's awesome.Copy !req
347. Yeah, a lot of people don't
like, uh, appreciate all theCopy !req
348. nuance that goes into it.Copy !req
349. Totally, yeah, I always
love when a ball goesCopy !req
350. real high in the air.Copy !req
351. Yes, that's my favorite part.Copy !req
352. So, what do you do?Copy !req
353. Oh, oh, I'm the,
uh, backup mascot.Copy !req
354. Oh, wow.Copy !req
355. We don't even have
a backup punter.Copy !req
356. Yeah, you can't take a
chance with a mascot.Copy !req
357. Boo!Copy !req
358. You suck!Copy !req
359. Get out!Copy !req
360. Will you shut up?Copy !req
361. David, maybe you should
dial it back a little bit.Copy !req
362. Come on!
I'm having fun!Copy !req
363. I love sports!Copy !req
364. Ugh, I can't with
this fricken guy.Copy !req
365. Go back to New York, dork!Copy !req
366. Oh, yeah?Copy !req
367. What are you gonna do?Copy !req
368. Ah!Copy !req
369. David, what would Andrea say?Copy !req
370. Hmm, good point.Copy !req
371. Who are you calling dork?Copy !req
372. Dork?Copy !req
373. Argh...Copy !req
374. Oh my god.Copy !req
375. Oh snap!Copy !req
376. That guy!Copy !req
377. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.Copy !req
378. It was a complete mistake.Copy !req
379. I don't even like sports.Copy !req
380. Where are you taking me?Copy !req
381. Oh no.Copy !req
382. Hey, you wanna see
something cool?Copy !req
383. I can lick my shin.Copy !req
384. Whoa, that's awesome.Copy !req
385. Oh no, what happened to Swoop?Copy !req
386. Well Hank, looks like you're up.Copy !req
387. Wait, what?Copy !req
388. Aren't you the backup mascot?Copy !req
389. Oh yeah, I just, I feel like
I haven't earned it yet.Copy !req
390. Hank, you earn it by taking it.Copy !req
391. When you get your chance, you
show them why you deserve it.Copy !req
392. Um, excuse me, I— I'm
actually the backup mascot.Copy !req
393. Oh perfect, come with me.Copy !req
394. You got this Hank.Copy !req
395. Yeah, I got this.Copy !req
396. Hey, uh, call me if
you ever need anythingCopy !req
397. punted or whatever.Copy !req
398. And another
touchdown for the Giants.Copy !req
399. This is a beatdown for the ages.Copy !req
400. Yeah, this team sucks.
Here can you take this?Copy !req
401. I'm done.Copy !req
402. Uh.Copy !req
403. Yo, Hank!Copy !req
404. Hank!Copy !req
405. There he is.Copy !req
406. Oh, hey there, owner guy.Copy !req
407. So, appreciate the opportunity,
but, uh, I'm officiallyCopy !req
408. announcing my retirement.Copy !req
409. You're a liar!Copy !req
410. There was no Mark Hoagies
on the 2017 staff.Copy !req
411. I knew I should have at least
spent five minutes researchingCopy !req
412. before impulsively hiring you
as head coach of the multiCopy !req
413. billion dollar NFL franchise.Copy !req
414. Whoa, you're disrespecting
a Super Bowl champion!Copy !req
415. Is that ring even real?Copy !req
416. Uh, it better be.Copy !req
417. You know how much I paid
for this fricken thing?Copy !req
418. I mean, uh, I, how
much I earned this?Copy !req
419. It's fake.Copy !req
420. Pfft, okay, that's ridiculous.Copy !req
421. Oh, yeah?Copy !req
422. Where's your name?Copy !req
423. Where's my na—? Wait, what
are you talking about?Copy !req
424. Those rings have names have
names engraved on them.Copy !req
425. Show me your name.Copy !req
426. Okay, well, uh, there
it is, right there, see?Copy !req
427. Really?
Your name is Made in China?Copy !req
428. It's pronounced
Madden Chee Nah, okay?Copy !req
429. It's Gaelic.Copy !req
430. You're full of crap, Hoagies.Copy !req
431. Take this clown to Eagle's Jail.Copy !req
432. Ha!Copy !req
433. Friggin' knew Eagle's
Jail was real.Copy !req
434. Well, looks like your,
uh, skinny buddy isCopy !req
435. going to Eagle's Jail.Copy !req
436. Eagle's Jail?
That's a real thing?Copy !req
437. Oh yeah, some bad
dudes down there.Copy !req
438. Oh god, David, it won't
last five minutes.Copy !req
439. I gotta go get him
out of there.Copy !req
440. Okay, but you're
not gonna find it.Copy !req
441. It's in a secret spot
way below the stadium.Copy !req
442. Uh, how do you know so
much about Eagle's Jail?Copy !req
443. You could say I've, uh, done
a few stints, if you will.Copy !req
444. Well, can you take me there?Copy !req
445. Oh, I can, but I gotta
warn you.Copy !req
446. I'm really drunk.Copy !req
447. Good thing you're here today.Copy !req
448. Sadly under such
unfortunate circumstances.Copy !req
449. Just doing my job, you know.Copy !req
450. Hey, this place is awesome.Copy !req
451. Indeed.Copy !req
452. This is our mascot and
fan engagement lab.Copy !req
453. Oh, cool.Copy !req
454. What's, uh, what's that?Copy !req
455. That's our prototype
for an infinite hot dog.Copy !req
456. Please, help yourself.Copy !req
457. Whoa.Copy !req
458. Let's get you suited up.Copy !req
459. Unfortunately, our primary Swoop
suit was damaged in the fall.Copy !req
460. This is our prototype for
a next generation mascot.Copy !req
461. Now, the tech is still in
beta, so be careful out there.Copy !req
462. Fortunately, you're a trained
mascot operator, so we haveCopy !req
463. 100 percent confidence in you.Copy !req
464. How yous all doin'?
Heh...Copy !req
465. Hey, go Birds.
Heh, heh.Copy !req
466. You smell like a Giants fan.Copy !req
467. Your kind don't last
long around here.Copy !req
468. Oh, god.Copy !req
469. Ah—ah, listen, I'm not
really a Giants fan.Copy !req
470. I'm just, I'm just
from New York.Copy !req
471. Okay, Hank, you can do this.Copy !req
472. Alright, here goes nothing.Copy !req
473. Whoa.Copy !req
474. Ooh, doughnut press.Copy !req
475. Ohhhh...
My god!Copy !req
476. Oh geez!Copy !req
477. Ahhh...Copy !req
478. Oh...Copy !req
479. Okay... ah.. ah...Copy !req
480. Okay, come on.Copy !req
481. You got this, Hank.Copy !req
482. Oh, oh, oh...Copy !req
483. Oh, no.Copy !req
484. Ben Franklin Bridge Trolls!Copy !req
485. Uh, okay, here we go.Copy !req
486. Now this trash can, this
looks familiar, I know this.Copy !req
487. It's on wheels.Copy !req
488. Oh yeah, I know, that's what
I, uh, that's the thing ICopy !req
489. remember about it, yeah, so.Copy !req
490. Hmm, which way?Copy !req
491. Ah, I thought you said
you've been to Eagle'sCopy !req
492. Jail a bunch of times.Copy !req
493. Sorry, I never remember the part
where I get sent there,Copy !req
494. only the, uh, the part where
I leave.Copy !req
495. Wait, I know what to do.Copy !req
496. I just walk backwards.Copy !req
497. Wait, so you were
made in a mascot lab?Copy !req
498. Yes.Copy !req
499. We were failed attempts
at creating a fun littleCopy !req
500. sidekick for Swoop.Copy !req
501. They combined the DNA
of Benjamin FranklinCopy !req
502. with feral pigskin.Copy !req
503. What they didn't know was that
some of Benjamin Franklin'sCopy !req
504. gout got into the mix and
it made us very cranky!Copy !req
505. Yeah!Copy !req
506. Prepare to meet your death!Copy !req
507. Ben Franklin style!Copy !req
508. Raise the key!Copy !req
509. Uh Oh.Copy !req
510. If we can't be the
mascot then no one can!Copy !req
511. Damn, I thought these
things were just a myth!Copy !req
512. Yeah.Copy !req
513. Hey, well, uh, thanks for
rescuing me, uh, sorry toCopy !req
514. bug you during the game.Copy !req
515. Ah, it was a blowout.Copy !req
516. I'm glad you called me.Copy !req
517. So, uh, whaddya say we
grab a cold blue one on me?Copy !req
518. That sounds great.Copy !req
519. Wow, that's crazy.Copy !req
520. I never thought
about it that way.Copy !req
521. If I were born in New York,
I'd be a Giants fan?Copy !req
522. Exactly.Copy !req
523. Wait a minute, I— I thought
people was fans of otherCopy !req
524. teams cause they're jerks.Copy !req
525. Whoa, whoa, whoa.Copy !req
526. What about Cowboys fans?Copy !req
527. Are they just
regular people too?Copy !req
528. Yeah, even Cowboys fans.Copy !req
529. Whoa.Copy !req
530. Hey!Copy !req
531. Unbelievable disrespect.Copy !req
532. Mark?Copy !req
533. David, what the hell
are you doing here?Copy !req
534. Oh, he killed Swoop.Copy !req
535. I did not kill Swoop, okay?Copy !req
536. I bopped him with a beer.Copy !req
537. You guys know each other?Copy !req
538. Yeah, this is actually
Mark, my neighbor.Copy !req
539. Hello.Copy !req
540. Hi.Copy !req
541. Hi, Mark.Copy !req
542. Hey, David, they know
you're a, uh, G I A N T SCopy !req
543. fan, or—Copy !req
544. Hey, we can spell!Copy !req
545. Yeah, we know he's
a glanst fan.Copy !req
546. Come on.Copy !req
547. Let me, uh, introduce
you to the guys.Copy !req
548. So this is Bruce.Copy !req
549. He threw a battery
at Eli Manning.Copy !req
550. Oh, I remember that.
That was awesome, man.Copy !req
551. This is Kyle.Copy !req
552. He purposely threw up on
a seven year old girl.Copy !req
553. Guilty.Copy !req
554. And you know that whole,
uh, hitting Santa withCopy !req
555. snowballs incident from 1968?Copy !req
556. Of course.Copy !req
557. Yeah, that was
actually, uh, Terry.Copy !req
558. No way!Copy !req
559. You've been in here for
over 50 years just for that?Copy !req
560. Yeah, well, they let me out
in 81, and I did it again.Copy !req
561. And then I did it again in
97, and, well, three strikes,Copy !req
562. you're out, I suppose.Copy !req
563. Damn, dude, you must
really hate Santa Claus.Copy !req
564. Oh, I do.Copy !req
565. I really do.Copy !req
566. So, what'd you do to
end up in Eagle's Jail?Copy !req
567. He coached the Eagles to their
worst blowout in history.Copy !req
568. Oh, great.Copy !req
569. Get lost, Steve.Copy !req
570. Will you relax, Hoagies.Copy !req
571. I just came to get
you out of here, baby.Copy !req
572. Oh, yeah?Copy !req
573. Yeah.Copy !req
574. All you gotta do is kiss my
ring and apologize to allCopy !req
575. of us legitimate Super Bowl
champions for making a mockeryCopy !req
576. of our prestigious fraternity.Copy !req
577. No fricken chance, Steve.Copy !req
578. Suit yourself.Copy !req
579. Have fun rotting in here with
all these low class dirt balls.Copy !req
580. You fit right in, Hoagies.Copy !req
581. Hey, screw you, jerk.Copy !req
582. Boo!Copy !req
583. Wait, wait, wait.
I'll kiss it.Copy !req
584. I'll kiss the ring.Copy !req
585. Hey, you know what?Copy !req
586. I'd rather be down here with you
guys than up in those luxury boxCopy !req
587. suites with those rich jerks.Copy !req
588. I mean that's sort of a
false dichotomy, and weCopy !req
589. could also just be home.Copy !req
590. Well, here we are.Copy !req
591. Eric, what are you
doing back here?Copy !req
592. Oh, hey, Bruce.Copy !req
593. Just helping out my friend here.Copy !req
594. Tammy?Copy !req
595. David?Copy !req
596. Oh, thank god you're okay.Copy !req
597. Tam?
What the hell?Copy !req
598. Mark?Copy !req
599. The hell are you doing in here?Copy !req
600. I guess that ring really got you
some first class access, huh?Copy !req
601. Whoa, whoa, whoa.Copy !req
602. These are my people, okay?Copy !req
603. The real old school
hard nosed fans.Copy !req
604. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
605. Like David, right?Copy !req
606. Yeah, like David.Copy !req
607. Oh, actually, can you take
a picture of me hanging outCopy !req
608. with my new meathead friends?Copy !req
609. I wanna show Andrea.Copy !req
610. Okay, guys,
everybody, come here.Copy !req
611. Okay, one, two, three.Copy !req
612. Eagles suck!Copy !req
613. Man, this place has changed.Copy !req
614. Oh my god, look how
expensive that beer is.Copy !req
615. I mean, how do you
even get drunk?Copy !req
616. Why don't we go grab a
drink somewhere else?Copy !req
617. Uh... Actually, I— I'll catch
up with you guys, alright?Copy !req
618. Okay, see ya, Terry.Copy !req
619. Bye, Terry.Copy !req
620. I guess some things
never change.Copy !req