1. No no no, see, you're not
considering thatCopy !req
2. Oompa Loompas are
basically super nurses.Copy !req
3. I mean come on,Copy !req
4. that one girl was basically
a stage 4 blueberry andCopy !req
5. they juiced her back
to life in like a day.Copy !req
6. No, no no.
Completely wrong, okay?Copy !req
7. A Gremlin would demolish
an Oompa Loompa.Copy !req
8. All you'd find is DNA evidence
of its stupid little wig andCopy !req
9. its little orange skin, okay?
Guy did a whole video on it.Copy !req
10. Ah, stupid ads.Copy !req
11. Ew Mark.Copy !req
12. You gotta skip a
ten second ad that badly?Copy !req
13. Yes, okay. It's a
matter of principle.Copy !req
14. I'm like the Postal Service.
Okay, rain, sleet, snow,Copy !req
15. buffalo sauce, I'm hittin'
that skip button.Copy !req
16. Oh my god!Copy !req
17. No, it's fine. I got it.Copy !req
18. No, I think that guy's choking.Copy !req
19. Eh, he's fine.Copy !req
20. No no no.Copy !req
21. He's choking!
He's choking!Copy !req
22. Come on, work with me!Copy !req
23. You okay, hon?Copy !req
24. I- I think so.
Thank you so much.Copy !req
25. Oh, don't worry about it.Copy !req
26. Just drink some water
and you'll be fine.Copy !req
27. Tam, you missed the whole part
where he explains Oompa Loompas,Copy !req
28. they could even have
little Whangdoodles.Copy !req
29. What?Copy !req
30. You're not gonna
acknowledge the factCopy !req
31. I just saved the guy's life?Copy !req
32. I mean, I think you're being
a little dramatic Tam, okay?Copy !req
33. The guy was gonna be fine.Copy !req
34. He was turning purple.Copy !req
35. Listen, I just take a more
measured approach beforeCopy !req
36. rushing into a risky
maneuver like the Heimlich.Copy !req
37. I mean, if you don't know
what you're doing,Copy !req
38. you could crack
someone's ribs.Copy !req
39. Mark, I know what I'm doing.Copy !req
40. I'm certified in
advanced life support.Copy !req
41. Yeah, well I'm trained
in advanced...Copy !req
42. real life hard knocks.Copy !req
43. I think you're just embarrassed
because your wife savedCopy !req
44. a guy's life while you sat on
your ass eating chicken wingsCopy !req
45. and watching videos about
wangnoodles or something.Copy !req
46. They're whangdoodles, Tam.Copy !req
47. Well, I used to work
at a hot dog factoryCopy !req
48. Until them
robots came alongCopy !req
49. And now
there is no job for meCopy !req
50. But I get
3,000 bucks a monthCopy !req
51. Thanks to UBICopy !req
52. Now we're
Universal Basic GuysCopy !req
53. It may not sound like muchCopy !req
54. But we're still gonna tryCopy !req
55. We're just
Universal Basic GuysCopy !req
56. Hey, yo!
Stop eating all my cookies.Copy !req
57. What are you talking
about, your cookies?Copy !req
58. These are from Paul.Copy !req
59. Paul? Who's that?Copy !req
60. The guy from the restaurant.
Read the note.Copy !req
61. "For Tammy, my hero."Copy !req
62. Yeah, okay, creep.Copy !req
63. The hell is wrong
with this guy?Copy !req
64. He's not a creep, Mark.Copy !req
65. This is what happens when
you save someone's life.Copy !req
66. People appreciate it.
Unlike someone I know...Copy !req
67. Oh c'mon, okay?Copy !req
68. I think "hero" is a
bit of a stretch okay?Copy !req
69. You were in the right
place at the right time.Copy !req
70. Hah! Oh yeah?Copy !req
71. How many lives you
save this week, Mark?Copy !req
72. How 'bout this month?Copy !req
73. Have you ever saved a life?Copy !req
74. I mean I'm just waiting for
my opportunity, that's all.Copy !req
75. And what are you gonna to do
when that opportunity arises?Copy !req
76. You haven't even taken
a basic first aid class.Copy !req
77. Nah nah nah.
It's not about training, Tam.Copy !req
78. It's about having
the right stuff,Copy !req
79. the guts to run into
that burning building.Copy !req
80. The courage to punch that
shark, boom, right in the face.Copy !req
81. Guys like
me, being a hero?Copy !req
82. It's in our blood.Copy !req
83. Nuh uh.
Life-savers only.Copy !req
84. Mm. The taste of appreciation.Copy !req
85. Pfft!Copy !req
86. Right place. Right time.Copy !req
87. Ah, here we go. Here we go.Copy !req
88. !Copy !req
89. Ooh! Damn.Copy !req
90. You want a hot dog, Mark?Copy !req
91. Come on Hank.
Not now, okay?Copy !req
92. We're here to save
lives not eat hot dogs.Copy !req
93. According to my police scanner
app, there's already beenCopy !req
94. two accidents here today.Copy !req
95. This whole intersection's a
fricken black ice death trap.Copy !req
96. Oh. Well, maybe
we should... uh... move?Copy !req
97. What are you talking about?Copy !req
98. We're in a prime
position right here.Copy !req
99. The minute we see
a crash, we swoop in,Copy !req
100. pull 'em to safety, and bam,Copy !req
101. we're getting cookies
sent to the houseCopy !req
102. and Tammy's gettin'
none of them.Copy !req
103. And also we could
save someone's life.Copy !req
104. Yeah, also that, yeah.Copy !req
105. !Copy !req
106. Oh, oh, oh, oh!Copy !req
107. Oh hell yeah!
Let's go Hank! It's showtime.Copy !req
108. Whoa.Copy !req
109. Watch yourself Hank, okay?Copy !req
110. This is a slippery
situation here.Copy !req
111. Ma'am. I need you
to stay calm, okay?Copy !req
112. We're gonna get you out of here.Copy !req
113. Come on, come on!Copy !req
114. Ah, the fricken door is locked.Copy !req
115. Okay ma'am listen,
I need you to unlock the doorCopy !req
116. so we can go in there
and save your life.Copy !req
117. Uh, maybe we should call 9-1-1?Copy !req
118. Why would we do that?Copy !req
119. So she can get help?Copy !req
120. She's already got help.Copy !req
121. Ow!Copy !req
122. Hank, could you
break the window?Copy !req
123. Okay.Copy !req
124. Yo this glass is no joke.Copy !req
125. Probably bulletproof.Copy !req
126. She might be a
diplomat or something.Copy !req
127. Whoa whoa whoa!
Hank, are you nuts?Copy !req
128. You're gonna crush
that lady's head.Copy !req
129. Throw it through
the back window.Copy !req
130. Okay, ma'am
I'm coming in.Copy !req
131. I'm coming in ma'am.
I'm gonna help you.Copy !req
132. I'm here to save,
oh, ow.Copy !req
133. Stand aside!Copy !req
134. Whoa. Cool.Copy !req
135. How you doin' pal?
Okay, listen up.Copy !req
136. I need your guys on
crowd control, okay?Copy !req
137. I need them securing
this perimeter okay?Copy !req
138. You, I need you holding my legs
as I go through the back windowCopy !req
139. and pull the driver to safety.
You got that?Copy !req
140. Sir, I need you out of the way.Copy !req
141. Nuh uh. Sorry, pal.
This is my scene.Copy !req
142. Can we get this guy out of here?Copy !req
143. Alright bud, come on,
back up, back up.Copy !req
144. Ay come on. What the hell?Copy !req
145. Is this how we treat
heroes these days?Copy !req
146. Hey Tom, fire up the Jaws.Copy !req
147. Ahh!Copy !req
148. Thank you.Copy !req
149. UnbelievableCopy !req
150. Man, firefighters are awesome.Copy !req
151. Oh come on, they didn't
do anything, okay?Copy !req
152. The Jaws of Life did everything.Copy !req
153. It's all about being in the
right place at the right time,Copy !req
154. and having the right tools.Copy !req
155. Yeah but that's
a hell of a tool.Copy !req
156. Hell yeah it is...Copy !req
157. Yoooo.Copy !req
158. What's goin' on Hank?Copy !req
159. You wanna grill up some dogs
and watch the Flyers?Copy !req
160. Not today Hank.Copy !req
161. Check it out.Copy !req
162. Whoa. Is that what
I think it is?Copy !req
163. Aw, you know it.Copy !req
164. Jaws of Life baby!Copy !req
165. We're gonna save so many
lives with this bad boy.Copy !req
166. Man. These instructions
are no joke.Copy !req
167. Oh, c'mon.
Nobody reads that crap, Hank.Copy !req
168. Just YouTube it.Copy !req
169. Here's one: "How to
use the Jaws of Life."Copy !req
170. Oh come on,
eleven minutes long?Copy !req
171. Forget it.
I'll just figure it out.Copy !req
172. Alright Hank,
so this is just a simpleCopy !req
173. grab-and-lift maneuver, okay?
Basic stuff.Copy !req
174. Yo after this I wanna
test out those cutters.Copy !req
175. Don't worry I got you.Copy !req
176. So am I gonna get
a Jaws of Life?Copy !req
177. No, no Hank. You got a
way more important job.Copy !req
178. Oh, yeah?Copy !req
179. Oh yeah. You're
the kill switch guy.Copy !req
180. That means you
run the generator.Copy !req
181. You give life to
the Jaws of Life.Copy !req
182. Whoa. How do I do that?Copy !req
183. Okay, so you see this
switch right here?Copy !req
184. Yeah.Copy !req
185. Okay. You flip that on and off.Copy !req
186. Awesome.Copy !req
187. Okay Hank. Fire it up.Copy !req
188. What is going on here?Copy !req
189. Yo stand back, Tam, okay?Copy !req
190. This is a very powerful piece
of machinery right here.Copy !req
191. And how much did
you spend on this?Copy !req
192. You should know
better than anyone.Copy !req
193. You can't put a price
tag on saving lives.Copy !req
194. Hah, yeah, okay.Copy !req
195. Well, I'm headed to the
hospital to actually save lives.Copy !req
196. Oh Geez.Copy !req
197. Looks like I might not
be the only one headedCopy !req
198. to the hospital today.Copy !req
199. Very funny, Tam.
I know what I'm doing.Copy !req
200. !Copy !req
201. Boom!
Nailed it.Copy !req
202. Okay Mernft.
Let me see that leg.Copy !req
203. Actually you know what,
I'm— I'm good.Copy !req
204. All engines, we got a
minor stuck in the jungle gymCopy !req
205. at Glantontown Elementary.Copy !req
206. Holy crap, did you
hear that, Hank?Copy !req
207. Kid stuck in a jungle gym?Copy !req
208. That's like a classic
Jaws of Life opportunity.Copy !req
209. Oh that's true.Copy !req
210. Maybe we should
call the firemen.Copy !req
211. No, Hank. If it's on a scanner
they already know about itCopy !req
212. so we gotta get there quick!Copy !req
213. Come on, let's go,
go, go, go, go!Copy !req
214. It's gonna be okay, sweetie.Copy !req
215. The firemen are coming.Copy !req
216. Uh oh. Looks like
somebody's in a pickle!Copy !req
217. But don't worry bud, I'm
here to save your life.Copy !req
218. Wh—, what?
Save my life?Copy !req
219. Mommy?
Am I gonna die?Copy !req
220. No no no.Copy !req
221. It's gonna be okay sweetie.Copy !req
222. Don't you worry.Copy !req
223. Okay, okay.Copy !req
224. We're gonna get you
out of here, dude.Copy !req
225. I'm sorry.
I'm just a little confused here.Copy !req
226. Are you with the
fire department?Copy !req
227. Nah. Even better.
I'm with Hoagies FD.Copy !req
228. "Hoagies FD?"Copy !req
229. Oh, we're the best of the best.Copy !req
230. The ones the firefighters
call when they need rescuing.Copy !req
231. Now just stay calm, buddy, okay?Copy !req
232. It's totally safe
what I'm doing here.Copy !req
233. So how we doin' today?Copy !req
234. Bad.Copy !req
235. Ah c'mon. Let me tell you
could be a lot worse, okay?Copy !req
236. I've seen some stuff, okay?Copy !req
237. I saw this one video, this
guy under a train, friggin'Copy !req
238. half his body's out there,
organs are wiggling like it'sCopy !req
239. friggin' some android
and aliens—Copy !req
240. Yeah. Okay, let's not.Copy !req
241. What the hell
is going on here?Copy !req
242. Oh here we go.Copy !req
243. Everything's under
control okay?Copy !req
244. Oh god, this guy again?Copy !req
245. Where'd you get that?Copy !req
246. Yeah none of your
jurisdiction pal.Copy !req
247. Okay, pal.Copy !req
248. Well this is not a
Jaws of Life situation.Copy !req
249. Are you kidding me?Copy !req
250. This is a textbook
Jaws of Life situation.Copy !req
251. It's a three-minute wrench job.Copy !req
252. Well, we don't have
that kind of time.Copy !req
253. Okay, I need you to stand
back so we can do our jobCopy !req
254. and get those bolts off.Copy !req
255. Uh excuse me, but maybe let
the Jaws of Life SpecialistsCopy !req
256. determine our approach.Copy !req
257. Buddy, are you even
trained on that thing?Copy !req
258. Pffft! Was Schindler trained on
how to make lists whenCopy !req
259. he saved a bunch of Jews?Copy !req
260. Was Harriet Tubman trained
on underground railroading?Copy !req
261. Was friggin' Indiana Jones
trained on pulling littleCopy !req
262. Asian boys out of Lava Pits?Copy !req
263. No, I don't think so.Copy !req
264. Guys like me,
we are born with a PhDCopy !req
265. in saving lives, buddy.Copy !req
266. Hank, what the hell!Copy !req
267. Hit the kill switch!Copy !req
268. Man, these last few
days the ER has been nuts.Copy !req
269. If I ever find the dude
who designed that intersectionCopy !req
270. I'm gonna put him in
the emergency room.Copy !req
271. Well, if it isn't
my guardian angel!Copy !req
272. Oh, hey... uh... Paul?Copy !req
273. You remembered?
Her coffee's on me.Copy !req
274. Oh, you don't have to do that.
You've already been so generous,Copy !req
275. what with the restaurant tab
and the cookie basket and all?Copy !req
276. I insist. Heroes shouldn't
have to pay for coffee.Copy !req
277. You know... that is so true.Copy !req
278. Ha, ha. Thank you.Copy !req
279. See you around!Copy !req
280. That was kind of weird.Copy !req
281. Oh he's just appreciative.
I saved his life.Copy !req
282. But like, how'd he
get your address?Copy !req
283. I don't know... Google?Copy !req
284. Oh!Copy !req
285. Eh!Copy !req
286. You okay, pal?
You're doing great.Copy !req
287. Yeah. I'm alright.
Are you okay?Copy !req
288. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
289. I can't even feel
my arm anymore.Copy !req
290. There you go.Copy !req
291. You were very brave.Copy !req
292. In fact, I think you could
be a firefighter someday.Copy !req
293. Oh, my god, get a room.Copy !req
294. Really?
That's cool.Copy !req
295. Get out of here, kid.Copy !req
296. See? I told ya.Copy !req
297. This was never a Jaws
of Life situation...Copy !req
298. But it is now.Copy !req
299. Tom, grab the Jaws.Copy !req
300. Let's cut this moron out.Copy !req
301. There you go.Copy !req
302. Hey, if you really want
to be a hero,Copy !req
303. next time, just call us.Copy !req
304. Here. Stay out of trouble.Copy !req
305. Okay well that was rude.Copy !req
306. Yeah. He didn't even
offer me a lollipop.Copy !req
307. Friggin' knock off
piece of crap.Copy !req
308. Thing snap like a twig.Copy !req
309. I guess those firemen got
the better tools, eh?Copy !req
310. Hmm...
Not for long.Copy !req
311. Whoa! Is that the
fricken Hoagie Brothers?Copy !req
312. Hey, Artie.Copy !req
313. How's it goin' Artie?Copy !req
314. Ah you know, keepin' busy.Copy !req
315. Ah you know I still can't
believe they let you go, man.Copy !req
316. I mean with all those
new robots in the factoryCopy !req
317. you'd figure they'd still
need a technician, right?Copy !req
318. Yeah well, apparently
those Humantis robotsCopy !req
319. got other robots
who do the fixing.Copy !req
320. Wait, so who fixes the robots
that fix the robots?Copy !req
321. It's robots all
the way down, Hank.Copy !req
322. Whoa.Copy !req
323. So I know youse ain't
here for a welfare check.Copy !req
324. What do youse need?Copy !req
325. I call it
The Exoskeleton of Life.Copy !req
326. What is this, your fricken
arts and crafts projectCopy !req
327. from when you were eight?Copy !req
328. No Artie, it's the
ultimate life saving tool.Copy !req
329. Can you build it or not?Copy !req
330. Yeah, of course I can build it.Copy !req
331. The question is why
the hell would I?Copy !req
332. Uh, how about to save lives?Copy !req
333. Eh. I don't really like people.Copy !req
334. C'mon, Artie. Just imagine me
in this thing, smashing glass,Copy !req
335. slashing through steel, prying
open hunks of burning metal...Copy !req
336. It'll be awesome!Copy !req
337. Oh man, that sounds
like a freakin' disaster.Copy !req
338. I'll do it.Copy !req
339. When she opened up the freezer,Copy !req
340. what she found was...
a human head.Copy !req
341. Oh!Copy !req
342. Oh...Copy !req
343. Paul.Copy !req
344. Haha, yep.Copy !req
345. So I realized I sent you
chocolate chip cookies before,Copy !req
346. but then I saw on your IG
that you're more of an oatmealCopy !req
347. cookie enthusiast so I was
kicking myself and decided,Copy !req
348. ah what the heck,
I'll just bring herCopy !req
349. some oatmeal cookies. Hehe.Copy !req
350. Paul, you really
don't have to do this.Copy !req
351. You've already done
more than enough.Copy !req
352. Oh get outta town!Copy !req
353. Tammy, you gave me my life back.Copy !req
354. This is nothing.Copy !req
355. Okay well, have a nice day.Copy !req
356. "Oatmeal cookie enthusiast"?Copy !req
357. 2014?Copy !req
358. Okay Hank, you ready?Copy !req
359. Yeah. Let's go.Copy !req
360. Fire it up.Copy !req
361. Whoa.Copy !req
362. Uh, did I pull the string
too hard or?Copy !req
363. What the hell, Mark?Copy !req
364. You can't wait five seconds
for the door to open!Copy !req
365. Yo Artie you killed it, man.Copy !req
366. This thing is too
fricken awesome.Copy !req
367. Alright, let me show you
what you're working with.Copy !req
368. So let's see. You got your
spreader tool. You got your ram.Copy !req
369. Your circular saw.Copy !req
370. Right here you got your
extendable grabber claw.Copy !req
371. On your hip is a
wideband police scannerCopy !req
372. and I even built in a hot dog
cannon in case you need a snack.Copy !req
373. Awesome.Copy !req
374. Hell yeah.
C'mon, Hank.Copy !req
375. Time to go lend a helping hand.Copy !req
376. !Copy !req
377. Man, we're really
making a differenceCopy !req
378. in the community Mark.
Feels good, eh?Copy !req
379. Hell yeah.Copy !req
380. Yo Tam check it out,
I just saved a life.Copy !req
381. Hon, that's a cat.Copy !req
382. Cats are people too.
You ever heard of Garfield?Copy !req
383. How about you give up this
charade and I'll let youCopy !req
384. have some of my cookies.Copy !req
385. Paul just dropped
off another box.Copy !req
386. Wait what!
Oh, come—Copy !req
387. I told you that guy was
a fricken weirdo dude.Copy !req
388. No he's just a... a nice guy,Copy !req
389. who's... really, really...
uh... appreciative.Copy !req
390. Yeah well you know what,
I'm good.Copy !req
391. I'm getting my own cookies.
Later, hon.Copy !req
392. Yo, ma'am, can I get
some cookies for that?Copy !req
393. You totaled my car.Copy !req
394. Pfft okay whatever.Copy !req
395. We've got an overturned
school bus on the cornerCopy !req
396. of Maple and Western...Copy !req
397. Oh no, that sounds pretty bad.Copy !req
398. We gotta call the
fire department.Copy !req
399. No, Hank!
An overturned school bus!Copy !req
400. That's like the filet mignon
of saving lives, okay!Copy !req
401. We're gonna be swimming
in cookies. Lets go!Copy !req
402. Where do you think you're going?
I need your information!Copy !req
403. Sorry, ma'am,
I got lives to save.Copy !req
404. What the
hell is it with this guy?Copy !req
405. Tammy, you need
to block this dude.Copy !req
406. I mean maybe he's from
the Midwest or somethingCopy !req
407. and we're not used to being
treated the way that—Copy !req
408. Oh my god!Copy !req
409. Jasmine he's still here.Copy !req
410. What!Copy !req
411. Tell him to get lost
and call Mark, now—Copy !req
412. Okay, okay, I gotta go.Copy !req
413. No thank you!Copy !req
414. I insist!Copy !req
415. No.Copy !req
416. Ew!Copy !req
417. Ahh!Copy !req
418. How the hell did you get in?Copy !req
419. Oh, I just let myself in
through the chimney.Copy !req
420. Sorry to get all
Santy Claus on you!Copy !req
421. Hahaha.Copy !req
422. Anyway, I got you flowers!Copy !req
423. Enough!Copy !req
424. You need to get your ass
out of my house right now.Copy !req
425. I don't understand.
I thought you liked tulips.Copy !req
426. Hey!Copy !req
427. Ah come on! Out!Copy !req
428. I was just trying to
show my gratitude!Copy !req
429. You're my guardian
angel, my hero!Copy !req
430. We have a special connection!Copy !req
431. No. I'm not a hero, and I'm
not your guardian angel.Copy !req
432. I'm just a fricken nurse.Copy !req
433. I save lives every day.
It's just part of the job.Copy !req
434. But you need to be appreciated!Copy !req
435. Nuh uh. I don't need any
more appreciation.Copy !req
436. I need you to leave. Or else
I'm gonna get you a gift, pal...Copy !req
437. a restraining order!Copy !req
438. Daddy does not do
rejection well.Copy !req
439. Alright children I need
you to all remain calm.Copy !req
440. For I am here to save you.Copy !req
441. Where the hell are the kids?Copy !req
442. Oh no we're too late.
They're already ghosts.Copy !req
443. Ah are you kidding me!
Fricken first responders.Copy !req
444. Ugh. What a day. Ugh.Copy !req
445. Oh great,
now the fricken powerCopy !req
446. is out too.Copy !req
447. Man this grid's a joke.Copy !req
448. Tax dollars hard at work eh?Copy !req
449. Whoa there, Bryce Harper.Copy !req
450. What's with the bat?
Everything okay?Copy !req
451. Oh yeah no all good just um...Copy !req
452. power's out and you never
know if some weird creepCopy !req
453. might happen to... not that
there would be but you know...Copy !req
454. with all the cops busy dealing
with all the chaos and allCopy !req
455. I'm just keeping an eye out.Copy !req
456. Oh my god.
Wait a minute. You're right!Copy !req
457. It's perfect!Copy !req
458. There's probably
accidents galore.Copy !req
459. This is like the gold rush of
saving lives right here!Copy !req
460. Right place. Right time.
Right tool...Copy !req
461. and not enough
first responders.Copy !req
462. Hank! Fire up the suit!Copy !req
463. Aw what in the hell, Mark!Copy !req
464. Sorry Tam, there's people
out there who need me.Copy !req
465. I tried to be nice
to you, Tammy.Copy !req
466. Grrr, I treated
you like an angel.Copy !req
467. And if you don't
want to be my angel,Copy !req
468. then I'm gonna send you to hell.Copy !req
469. Woah!Copy !req
470. Oh boy Hank.
We got a live one baby!Copy !req
471. Right place, right time,
right tools...Copy !req
472. and no firefighters in sight.Copy !req
473. Oh geez. You're right.Copy !req
474. I'm going in!Copy !req
475. We did it, Mark.
We saved this guy's life!Copy !req
476. Hell yeah, I did!Copy !req
477. We're eating gift basket
cookies tonight, baby!Copy !req
478. Uh huh.Copy !req
479. Wait. Do I know you
from somewhere?Copy !req
480. You saved me...Copy !req
481. It's all good, bud.Copy !req
482. You know, I'm just a good
samaritan who happens toCopy !req
483. like double chocolate chip
cookies, so you know...Copy !req
484. Uh, I think
he's choking, Mark.Copy !req
485. Oh, that's who this guy is.Copy !req
486. Uh, maybe we should give
him the Hitler Maneuver?Copy !req
487. The Heimlich?Copy !req
488. Oh is that it?Copy !req
489. Okay come 'ere.
Come 'ere.Copy !req
490. Alright...Copy !req
491. Uh... you want me to find
a YouTube tutorial?Copy !req
492. Nah nah nah,
I got this, okay?Copy !req
493. It's basic stuff.Copy !req
494. Come on, you son of a bitch.
Come on, get it out.Copy !req
495. Spit it out. Come on, buddy
pop the dog, pop the dog.Copy !req
496. Pop it out.
Pop, pop, pop.Copy !req
497. You know what?Copy !req
498. I think we all learned
an important lesson today:Copy !req
499. When the Grim Reaper
decides it's time,Copy !req
500. there's really no special tool
that can get in his way.Copy !req
501. Sometimes it's just your time...Copy !req
502. I got him. I got him.
Move!Copy !req
503. Whoa! Okay.Copy !req
504. Yo what the hell?Copy !req
505. How do they always
get here so fast?Copy !req
506. Wait, Hank. Did you call
the fire department?Copy !req
507. Yeah.Copy !req
508. Why the hell'd you do that?Copy !req
509. I don't know.
I thought they could help.Copy !req
510. Dammit Hank.
Let's get out of here.Copy !req
511. Argh!Copy !req
512. My...Copy !req
513. new... hero.Copy !req
514. Don't worry about it, pal.
Just doing my job.Copy !req
515. Well can I at least,
I don't know,Copy !req
516. buy you a beer
or something?Copy !req
517. I— I don't normally...
eh... you know what?Copy !req
518. What the hell.
It's been a long day.Copy !req
519. I mean really, who the hell's
this Heimlich guy anyway?Copy !req
520. Some German pervert running
around humping peopleCopy !req
521. and one day a piece of steak
flies outta someone's mouth,Copy !req
522. and now he's a freakin'
Thomas Edison of choking?Copy !req
523. Pfft. I don't buy it.Copy !req
524. Oh yeah.Copy !req
525. You're nuts.Copy !req
526. Shaggy would eat
sandwiches likeCopy !req
527. two feet high in one bite.Copy !req
528. Nah Tam, wouldn't even
be a contest, okay?Copy !req
529. Alf has eight stomachs.Copy !req
530. Yeah but he only eats cats.Copy !req
531. No no no. He ate
all kinds of stuff okay?Copy !req
532. The cats were just a delicacy.Copy !req
533. So, how was your
first aid class?Copy !req
534. Eh, not for me.Copy !req
535. Hank said you fell asleep.Copy !req
536. I mean well it's just,
you know, by the thirtiethCopy !req
537. chest compression
it's like, I get it.Copy !req
538. Coming up at 11:Copy !req
539. A Glantontown firefighter kills
a home intruder with an axe,Copy !req
540. after the man apparently...
- Oh my god.Copy !req
541. entered his house through
the chimney.Copy !req
542. Somebody help!Copy !req
543. He's choking!Copy !req
544. Uh, we'll take the check.Copy !req