1. Yo, you pumped
for next Saturday?Copy !req
2. Uh, what's next Saturday?Copy !req
3. Only the best sporting
event of the year:Copy !req
4. day “Three ” of the NFL draft.Copy !req
5. Oh, what about round one?Copy !req
6. Nah, nah Hank.
The last rounds are the best.Copy !req
7. That's where you
get the best stories:Copy !req
8. like the farmer's
kid with no legsCopy !req
9. who's Dad teaches him how to
kick field goals with his hands.Copy !req
10. Oh yeah. That sounds inspiring.
I'm already getting choked up.Copy !req
11. Booya! Do svidaniya!Copy !req
12. What are you freaking
out about over there?Copy !req
13. My buddy sent me
the dash cam video ofCopy !req
14. that accident on Route 70.
Check it out. Boom!Copy !req
15. Right through the
uprights./ Damn!/ Holy crap!Copy !req
16. Eighty miles an hour into
the back of a dump truck.Copy !req
17. Oh man. That's not good.Copy !req
18. It is for me.Copy !req
19. This guy right here's a
cold-blooded contract killer,Copy !req
20. probably on his way
to break my kneecaps.Copy !req
21. Psycho thinks I owe
him two hundred grand.Copy !req
22. So do you?Copy !req
23. Doesn't matter now.Copy !req
24. Guy's bolognese.Copy !req
25. Hey hun. How was work?Copy !req
26. Oh it was rough.
Got a patient in real bad shape.Copy !req
27. Drove eighty miles per hour
into the back of a dump truck.Copy !req
28. Now he's in a coma.Copy !req
29. Ah that's a shame Tam...
he's gonna die though right?Copy !req
30. Eh, it's pretty touch and go,Copy !req
31. but I think there's a decent
chance he could make it.Copy !req
32. Oh boy.Copy !req
33. Okay, what are we
thinking here Hank?Copy !req
34. We could go wings?
We wanna go mozzarella sticks?Copy !req
35. Ooh those all sound good.Copy !req
36. Maybe we get the Big
Fiesta Sampler Tower?Copy !req
37. C'mon Hank.Copy !req
38. 80 bucks for nachos
and jalapeño poppers?Copy !req
39. That thing is for tools.Copy !req
40. Yo, can we get two Big
Fiesta Sampler TowersCopy !req
41. for the table?Copy !req
42. To the best ad team
in South Jersey!Copy !req
43. Wooo! Yo, yo!Copy !req
44. our team here just
closed the Ding-a-Ling accountCopy !req
45. and in honor of that,Copy !req
46. we're buying a
round of Ding-a-LingsCopy !req
47. for everyone in here!Copy !req
48. Woooo!Copy !req
49. Man these guys
must be pretty rich.Copy !req
50. Nah, nah, nah Hank.Copy !req
51. They're just acting
like big shots, okay.Copy !req
52. It's all going on
the corporate card.Copy !req
53. You get a Ding-a-Ling!Copy !req
54. You get a Ding- a-Ling!Copy !req
55. No thanks. I'm good.Copy !req
56. Oh c'mon, Mark.
It's free beer.Copy !req
57. I don't do handouts, Hank.Copy !req
58. What about UBI?Copy !req
59. No, that's not a handout, okay.Copy !req
60. That's an investment
in people, okay?Copy !req
61. We're pioneering a
new path for humanity.Copy !req
62. True.Copy !req
63. And it's not like
we can get fancy jobsCopy !req
64. like those guys.Copy !req
65. Pfft! You kidding me, Hank?Copy !req
66. If I wanted a job like that
I could get one in a second.Copy !req
67. I don't know, Mark.Copy !req
68. It's been a while since
you worked in an office, no?Copy !req
69. Let me tell you Hank,
if I'd gone into advertising,Copy !req
70. I'd be friggin
Don Draper by now.Copy !req
71. Oh you mean the
sad alcoholic guyCopy !req
72. who was bad at relationships?Copy !req
73. Yeah...
That guy was the man.Copy !req
74. Hank?Copy !req
75. Okay, Hank.
So that's how you wanna play it?Copy !req
76. I'll show you what a
real ad man looks like.Copy !req
77. Hey how ya doin', Mark Hoagies.Copy !req
78. Oh you want me to handle
the Tiffany's account?Copy !req
79. I can handle that.Copy !req
80. Woah. Look at you.Copy !req
81. What's the occasion?Copy !req
82. Oh hey! Yeah,Copy !req
83. I got a big job
interview coming up.Copy !req
84. Gotta look the part- Woah!Copy !req
85. Oh wow... okay... that's a...
you got a new haircut?Copy !req
86. Wow Mark, I didn't
think you'd notice.Copy !req
87. Oh it's uh...
It's definitely noticeable.Copy !req
88. Oh thanks.Copy !req
89. You know, I've been
listening to thisCopy !req
90. Brene Brown interviewCopy !req
91. and she inspired
me to be vulnerable.Copy !req
92. She was saying how a new
haircut could be empoweringCopy !req
93. so I just sort of took the leap.Copy !req
94. So, what do you think?
Do you like it?Copy !req
95. Uh... yeah. No it looks...
It looks great hon.Copy !req
96. Really brings out
your natural... um...Copy !req
97. face.Copy !req
98. Okay, well, gotta go.Copy !req
99. Love you hon!Copy !req
100. I would say I see
myself getting rippedCopy !req
101. but not like the
gross kind of ripped.Copy !req
102. Like I don't want the
veins popping out everywhere.Copy !req
103. You know what I mean? I
don't wanna be too veiny.Copy !req
104. Right.Copy !req
105. I meant where do
you see yourselfCopy !req
106. in five years professionally?Copy !req
107. Okay yeah um...Copy !req
108. I don't know, "Head
of Global Marketing."Copy !req
109. We don't have a Global
Marketing Department.Copy !req
110. Well, not yet.Copy !req
111. Nailed it.Copy !req
112. Nice.Copy !req
113. Yo Hank I'm gonna go check out
the amenities here.Copy !req
114. Hey, where's the espres—Copy !req
115. you guys got like one of
them fancy espresso machines.Copy !req
116. Hello.
Are you also here to interview?Copy !req
117. I'm just here to be supportive.Copy !req
118. Love that attitude.Copy !req
119. I'm Joan, head of HR.
Why don't you come on back.Copy !req
120. Okay.Copy !req
121. Hey where's the pool?Copy !req
122. Oh yo, this is delicious yo.Copy !req
123. Hank! They got the
good granola bars here.Copy !req
124. Hank?Copy !req
125. Oh I can do ads for sure,
but subtracting,Copy !req
126. ooh I'll need a calculator.Copy !req
127. Well, congratulations
on your new internship.Copy !req
128. Aw wow,
well done Hank-man!Copy !req
129. You got yourself a
little internship.Copy !req
130. Good for you buddy.Copy !req
131. And congrats to you too, Mark.Copy !req
132. Hank speaks very highly of you,Copy !req
133. so you're also
gonna be an intern.Copy !req
134. Okay wait. So just to clarify,Copy !req
135. when you say "intern"...
you're talking aboutCopy !req
136. international accounts right?Copy !req
137. I'm head of
international accounts?Copy !req
138. You both start on Monday.Copy !req
139. Hey,
who took my granola bar?Copy !req
140. Yo yo yo! Rise and grind,
baby! Let's do it.Copy !req
141. Hey Mark.Copy !req
142. Weren't we supposed
to be here at nine?Copy !req
143. Ehhh. Rookie move, Hank.Copy !req
144. That's how you end
up in the mailroom.Copy !req
145. Showing up late is
a classic power move.Copy !req
146. You gotta establish earlyCopy !req
147. that you don't
play by the rules.Copy !req
148. They want to make me an intern?
Fine. Okay, you watch.Copy !req
149. Those bozos from
TJs aren't gonna knowCopy !req
150. what hit 'em when
they all report to me.Copy !req
151. What the hell is
that intern wearing?Copy !req
152. Is he drinking scotch?Copy !req
153. At 11 AM?Copy !req
154. Hey guys.Copy !req
155. What's good sweetheart?Copy !req
156. Yeah, don't call me that.Copy !req
157. Are you the new interns?Copy !req
158. Yup.Copy !req
159. Well I need one of you
to make copies.Copy !req
160. Uh, I could do it.Copy !req
161. Uh what are you doing, Hank?Copy !req
162. Making copies.Copy !req
163. Oh come on, you never
make the copies okay.Copy !req
164. Once you start making copiesCopy !req
165. you're gonna be
stuck making copiesCopy !req
166. for the rest of your life.Copy !req
167. They're looking for sharks,
they're not looking for sheep.Copy !req
168. Aw I like sheep.Copy !req
169. They're like little
clouds that run around.Copy !req
170. Hey, you mind making
a fresh pot of coffee?Copy !req
171. We got a big
presentation coming up.Copy !req
172. Of course. Yeah. No problem.Copy !req
173. Okay sheep.Copy !req
174. No.Copy !req
175. I want you to make it.Copy !req
176. Oh yeah?
You want me to make your coffee?Copy !req
177. Yeah.Copy !req
178. I do.Copy !req
179. Alright... well you ask a
shark to make your coffee?Copy !req
180. You're gettin' the shark brew...Copy !req
181. What's the shark brew?Copy !req
182. Ah just the ole
"Irish Butt Blaster."Copy !req
183. A little "Laxy Latte."Copy !req
184. Yo this guy thinks he's
the king of the castle?Copy !req
185. Well let's see how he
feels when he's sittingCopy !req
186. on the throne all day.Copy !req
187. Yo this is gonna be classic...
!Copy !req
188. Oh!Copy !req
189. Ah, crap. What the hell.
Yo, a little help here, please?Copy !req
190. Uh.Copy !req
191. What the hell happened here?Copy !req
192. Your coffee maker's
a piece of crap.Copy !req
193. That's what happened.Copy !req
194. Well now you're gonna
have to go on a coffee run.Copy !req
195. Sweet. Hank, you're driving.Copy !req
196. Four large coffees,Copy !req
197. three cold brews,
a caramel macchiato...Copy !req
198. Carla.Copy !req
199. And one large iced
cinnamon dolce mochaccinoCopy !req
200. with extra whipped
in a James Taylor:Copy !req
201. American Folk Legends
souvenir travel carafe.Copy !req
202. Ope. That's me.Copy !req
203. Will that be all?Copy !req
204. Let me see, Hank you
want anything else?Copy !req
205. I don't think we're
really supposed to—Copy !req
206. Hank, get used to it okay.Copy !req
207. Soon this card's gonna
have my name on it.Copy !req
208. You watch. Okay.Copy !req
209. Lemme get a half
dozen of those cake popsCopy !req
210. and that cool clear mug
with the pole right there.Copy !req
211. The French press?Copy !req
212. Yeah yeah. Let me
get two of those.Copy !req
213. Yo you see the Sixers
game last night?Copy !req
214. It's like come on,
pass it to the big guy!Copy !req
215. What are they doin?
It's unbelievable.Copy !req
216. Uh. Can I help you?Copy !req
217. Here you go.Copy !req
218. Ah, appreciate it.Copy !req
219. What's your name?Copy !req
220. - Oh uh... Mark.
- Hank.Copy !req
221. Thanks, Hank.Copy !req
222. Appreciate it Hank.
You can go.Copy !req
223. He's a good kid, you know.
Taking him under my wing.Copy !req
224. Can you get out of my office?Copy !req
225. Ope, hold on gotta
take this sorry...Copy !req
226. Bob Iger.Copy !req
227. Yo Iger the Tiger,
how the hell are ya?Copy !req
228. He calls me "Mark the Shark."
It's like a whole thing.Copy !req
229. I'll get outta here.Copy !req
230. Loving the new Star
Wars stuff Iger.Copy !req
231. Yeah not sure what you're
doing with Shazam, though.Copy !req
232. I woulda stuck with Shaq.Copy !req
233. But hey. I'm not here
to tell youCopy !req
234. how to do your job.Copy !req
235. You don't tell me
how to do my job.Copy !req
236. Mark, do you need something?
Can I get back to work?Copy !req
237. Mernft Man?Copy !req
238. Yo, Tam. Woah.
New haircut?Copy !req
239. Yeah.
Do you like it?Copy !req
240. Be honest.
It's okay if you don't.Copy !req
241. Uh... nah it looks good.Copy !req
242. You look like a,Copy !req
243. uh, hot Mark Davis.Copy !req
244. What does that mean?Copy !req
245. Ah it just means it... you know.
Looks... looks nice.Copy !req
246. Hmmm.Copy !req
247. Okay one of these here-Copy !req
248. What are you doing in here?Copy !req
249. Oh hey Tam... this is a... uh...Copy !req
250. a colleague of mine.Copy !req
251. Why are you messing
with those cords?Copy !req
252. Oh you know, just
checking to make sureCopy !req
253. everything's where
it's supposed to be.Copy !req
254. Which one of these
is the "lifeline"?Copy !req
255. I just want to make
sure that one stays in.Copy !req
256. Mernft.Copy !req
257. Okay Tam listen,Copy !req
258. you gotta understand...
this is a real rotten vegetableCopy !req
259. if you know what I mean.Copy !req
260. Okay,
time for you to leave.Copy !req
261. Out you go.Copy !req
262. If I catch you in here again
messing with the equipment,Copy !req
263. I'm gonna put you in a coma.Copy !req
264. "Chewbly's Gum:Copy !req
265. The kid in you wants it.Copy !req
266. The adult in you needs it."Copy !req
267. Eh, too many words.Copy !req
268. How about...Copy !req
269. "Slay, Bubble Queen.Copy !req
270. Yeah, It's a mood."Copy !req
271. No no.Copy !req
272. We're overthinking this.Copy !req
273. Hank, right?Copy !req
274. Uh. Yeah.Copy !req
275. Hank,
you ever had Chewbly's Gum?Copy !req
276. I love Chewbly's.Copy !req
277. What is it you like about it?Copy !req
278. I mean I like that it's pink...
and it tastes good.Copy !req
279. I love it.
"It's pink and it tastes good!"Copy !req
280. Classic,Copy !req
281. simple.Copy !req
282. Nice, Hank.Copy !req
283. Maxey for the win!Copy !req
284. Ehh. Goaltending.Copy !req
285. Mark, can I speak
to you in my office?Copy !req
286. Perhaps this is my faultCopy !req
287. for not articulating the rules
and expectations clearly enough.Copy !req
288. 'Preciate that Joan.
Takes a big woman to admit that.Copy !req
289. Sorry,
"plus-sized" woman.Copy !req
290. Anyway, what's up Tootz?Copy !req
291. If you call me
that one more time,Copy !req
292. you're out of here.Copy !req
293. Listen. I'm a disruptor okay.
Do things a little unorthodox.Copy !req
294. Oh! Is that
why you're parkingCopy !req
295. in the CEO's spot?Copy !req
296. Hey. Shark mentality.Copy !req
297. I see a spot, I take it.Copy !req
298. Yeah well, don't.Copy !req
299. Also, no more naps
in the lactation room.Copy !req
300. Okay, those are power naps.Copy !req
301. Also, it is 2024, Joan.
Men can breastfeed, come on.Copy !req
302. Mark, I'm giving
you one more chance.Copy !req
303. Don't blow it.Copy !req
304. Ah! Friggin' Joan! She got me!Copy !req
305. I got Joaned!Copy !req
306. Hank,Copy !req
307. can I speak with
you for a moment?Copy !req
308. Oooh buddy,
dead man walking!Copy !req
309. You do not want
to be called intoCopy !req
310. Joan's office today okay.
Mama is in a mood!Copy !req
311. Oh geez.Copy !req
312. Poor kid, getting canned.Copy !req
313. Ah the old pink slip, huh?
Sorry, pal.Copy !req
314. Actually, no. It's a W-4.Copy !req
315. I got promoted to Junior
Account Coordinator!Copy !req
316. Wait, what?Copy !req
317. Hey Mark.Copy !req
318. Hank.Copy !req
319. I, uh, need you to
make me a photocopy.Copy !req
320. Nah I'm good.Copy !req
321. It's just one copy, Mark.Copy !req
322. I don't make the copies, Hank.
That's you, you make the copies.Copy !req
323. Okay, yeah.Copy !req
324. No, Hank.
You don't make copies anymore.Copy !req
325. Mark makes the copies.Copy !req
326. Ugh. Fine.Copy !req
327. Ughhhhh!Copy !req
328. Woah. You can attach a PDF
to a calendar invite!Copy !req
329. Oh this is awesome.Copy !req
330. Oh, Hank.Copy !req
331. You're too funny.Copy !req
332. Oh, I see what's going on here.Copy !req
333. What's that, Mark?Copy !req
334. You dipping your dog
in the company mustard?Copy !req
335. Wait I thought we
were allowed to useCopy !req
336. the condiments in the fridge.Copy !req
337. See I know what you are.Copy !req
338. You're a shark in
sheep's clothing.Copy !req
339. Well played, Hank.Copy !req
340. Well friggin' played.Copy !req
341. Actually, Mark.
Can you re-do this?Copy !req
342. It looks like you
copied your tie onto it.Copy !req
343. Are you kidding me?Copy !req
344. Unbelievable. Unbelievable!Copy !req
345. What happened to you, Hank?Copy !req
346. I don't even
recognize you anymore.Copy !req
347. Uh yeah. Sorry, Mark,
it's just you know,Copy !req
348. this copy's important.Copy !req
349. It's for the Green
Valley presentation.Copy !req
350. Mr. Martin said it's the
biggest pitch of the quarter.Copy !req
351. Biggest pitch of
the quarter, eh?Copy !req
352. You know what?Copy !req
353. Maybe I will make
those copies...Copy !req
354. Okay there we go.
That's better.Copy !req
355. Uh, excuse me!Copy !req
356. Hey Tammy, you see this?Copy !req
357. Guy's "DNR."
Do not resuscitate.Copy !req
358. Stop futzing with this guy!Copy !req
359. Tam, you don't understand.
This guy is bad news.Copy !req
360. I'm talkin' certified sicko
with a bigger body countCopy !req
361. than "The Iceman" Kuklinski.Copy !req
362. They call him the
Butcher of Belarus,Copy !req
363. aka Boris Big Eyes.Copy !req
364. Boris Big Eyes?Copy !req
365. Yeah 'cause the last
thing his victims seeCopy !req
366. is his cold, bulging blue eyesCopy !req
367. before he guts em like a pig.Copy !req
368. Ick. Gross.Copy !req
369. Listen, all I'm
saying is, the world,Copy !req
370. and my bank account,
would be in a better placeCopy !req
371. if this guy... went away.Copy !req
372. Sorry but I took an oath.Copy !req
373. I'm not here to judge,
I'm here to save lives.Copy !req
374. Oh, would you look at that?Copy !req
375. A life- saving organ donor!Copy !req
376. So we're gonna update
the logo on the lower thirdCopy !req
377. and increase the font size so—Copy !req
378. Uh...Copy !req
379. Old people.Copy !req
380. Our mothers.Copy !req
381. Our fathers.Copy !req
382. Our grandparents.Copy !req
383. We don't like to think about
them doin' it with each other.Copy !req
384. But they do.
And the data shows it.Copy !req
385. I mean, it's not like you're
gettin' pregnant at ninetyCopy !req
386. so it's a little bit
of a YOLO situationCopy !req
387. you know what I mean?
This guy knowsCopy !req
388. what I'm talkin' about.Copy !req
389. Excuse me, what the
hell are you doing?Copy !req
390. Well hold on Ed,
let's hear him out.Copy !req
391. What are you getting at?Copy !req
392. Sex sells.Copy !req
393. It always has.Copy !req
394. Always will.Copy !req
395. But there's one group that
has been tragically overlookedCopy !req
396. by this effective
marketing strategy—Copy !req
397. geriatric people.Copy !req
398. Green Valley Nursing Home:Copy !req
399. We put the "Ass" in
"Assisted Living."Copy !req
400. Good luck at your next meeting.Copy !req
401. You know it's a real shame.Copy !req
402. I could've gone
to a lot of places.Copy !req
403. But I chose Miller & Miller,Copy !req
404. 'cause I thought this
place was different.Copy !req
405. Turns out,Copy !req
406. it's just another
toxic work environment.Copy !req
407. Now you know what they say:
if you can't join 'em,Copy !req
408. beat 'em.
That's right.Copy !req
409. I'm starting my own ad agencyCopy !req
410. where we embrace bold ideas
and celebrate diversity.Copy !req
411. So, who's coming with me?Copy !req
412. Okay, fine.Copy !req
413. Hank, let's go.Copy !req
414. Uh... sorry, Mark.Copy !req
415. Me and the guys are
heading to TJ Wooderhan'sCopy !req
416. for a couple Big
Fiesta Sampler Towers.Copy !req
417. Okay.Copy !req
418. Okay.Copy !req
419. I see.Copy !req
420. Enjoy your sampler
towers you idiots.Copy !req
421. Good afternoon, Tammy—Copy !req
422. woah,Copy !req
423. new haircut?Copy !req
424. Oh!
Yes actually!Copy !req
425. It's... uh...Copy !req
426. brave.Copy !req
427. Oh thank you!Copy !req
428. You know I'm trying
to be more fearlessCopy !req
429. with my self expression.Copy !req
430. Right.Copy !req
431. Anyway, what's the
status on Boris here?Copy !req
432. Still in a coma,
but his vitals are stable.Copy !req
433. Alright, well keep me updated.Copy !req
434. I just got off the phone
with Children's Hospital.Copy !req
435. Had an influx of sick childrenCopy !req
436. who could really use
this guy's organs.Copy !req
437. Anyway, let me know...Copy !req
438. you know,
if he dies...Copy !req
439. so we can save kids.Copy !req
440. Later, Tammy!Copy !req
441. Walt. Deb.Copy !req
442. What a pleasant surprise.Copy !req
443. You paid for our limo.Copy !req
444. Is this a private residence?Copy !req
445. Every great industry
disruptor starts in a garage.Copy !req
446. Jeff Jobs,Copy !req
447. Steve Bezos,Copy !req
448. William Wonka.Copy !req
449. Please have a seat in one
of my several Eames chairs.Copy !req
450. Wait.
Why do you look familiar?Copy !req
451. He's the creepCopy !req
452. who put lemon party
into a slideshow.Copy !req
453. But you gotta admit.
It was memorable!Copy !req
454. Yes.Copy !req
455. Wish I could forget.Copy !req
456. I think we're all set here.Copy !req
457. Let's go Walt.Copy !req
458. Hold on, hold on.Copy !req
459. Just hear me out okay.
All I need is five minutes.Copy !req
460. If you're not wowed,
you'll never hear from me again.Copy !req
461. Wait— I don't understand.Copy !req
462. I thought you guys were
excited about the new campaign.Copy !req
463. Sorry, Ed,
but we think it's timeCopy !req
464. we go in another direction.Copy !req
465. This new agency is getting
Eagles quarterback Jayden PainCopy !req
466. to tattoo "Green
Valley Nursing Home"Copy !req
467. on his face!Copy !req
468. Woah that's awesome.Copy !req
469. For only $3000 dollars.Copy !req
470. What?
You're kidding.Copy !req
471. I know it sounds crazy,
but if this guy can deliver,Copy !req
472. we gotta go with him.Copy !req
473. Dammit.Copy !req
474. Green Valley's been our
biggest client for twenty years.Copy !req
475. Okay so... What's our play?Copy !req
476. I don't know yet.Copy !req
477. But if we lose this account,Copy !req
478. we're gonna have to make
some serious cutbacks.Copy !req
479. Yo Mark.Copy !req
480. How you doing bud?Copy !req
481. Wow, looks fancy in here.Copy !req
482. Parting gifts from
Martin & Martin.Copy !req
483. What's up?Copy !req
484. You know I haven't
heard from youCopy !req
485. since you er,
left the office.Copy !req
486. Just seeing if you wanted
to grab lunch or somethin'.Copy !req
487. Nah. Today's no good.
Got back-to-backs all afternoon.Copy !req
488. So how are things over
at that toxic hellscapeCopy !req
489. that you work at?Copy !req
490. Eh. Not great, you know,Copy !req
491. Rick thinks we're gonna
lose the Green Valley account.Copy !req
492. Sorry to hear that.Copy !req
493. Miss having you around though.
Brought you something.Copy !req
494. They didn't have any
more of the James TaylorsCopy !req
495. so I got you the
Simon and Garfield.Copy !req
496. I hope that's okay.Copy !req
497. Hey listen, I gotta
take this okay?Copy !req
498. Okay. Well,
good to see you, Mark.Copy !req
499. So we good or what?Copy !req
500. Just cause I work for
the Eagles doesn't meanCopy !req
501. I can simply hand out meetingsCopy !req
502. with starting
quarterbacks, Hoagies.Copy !req
503. Steve, you gotta understand.Copy !req
504. I'm offering him
a once-in-a-lifetimeCopy !req
505. branding opportunity here.Copy !req
506. Oh that's great,
but what's in it for me?Copy !req
507. How's five hundred bucks sound?Copy !req
508. Hah. That'll maybe
get you like 10 minutesCopy !req
509. with a long snapper,Copy !req
510. not Jayden Pain,
you friggin moron.Copy !req
511. Steve, you're killing me!Copy !req
512. How about I throw
in an Eames chair?Copy !req
513. Listen. I ain't got
time for games, Hoagies.Copy !req
514. I get enough of that from
my wife's divorce attorney.Copy !req
515. Ooh you know what,
how's this sound:Copy !req
516. You hook me up,Copy !req
517. I'll have Tammy talk to Leanne
about letting you keep the boat.Copy !req
518. Now we're talking.Copy !req
519. You got two minutes, Hoagies.Copy !req
520. That's all I need.Copy !req
521. Mike Tyson.Copy !req
522. Post Malone.Copy !req
523. Lil Wayne.Copy !req
524. What do these famous
celebrities have in common?Copy !req
525. Drug issues?Copy !req
526. No no no...Copy !req
527. okay well maybe,
but look closely.Copy !req
528. they all got tattoos
on their face dude.Copy !req
529. Ohhhh right.Copy !req
530. Nothing elevates
an athlete's brandCopy !req
531. like a facial tattoo.Copy !req
532. The difference between
you and those losers?Copy !req
533. They didn't get paid.Copy !req
534. Hello?Copy !req
535. Boris?
Can you hear me?Copy !req
536. Where am I?Copy !req
537. Okay listen.Copy !req
538. You were in a car
accident and you-Copy !req
539. Get this off me.
I have knees to break.Copy !req
540. Fat man owe me two
hundred thousand.Copy !req
541. Okay I need you to relax, hun.Copy !req
542. You're still not ready
to—Get away from me!Copy !req
543. No no no.Copy !req
544. You need those.Copy !req
545. Don't tell me what to-Copy !req
546. Woah.Copy !req
547. Ho.Copy !req
548. That is really bad
haircut man woah.Copy !req
549. Wait, what?Copy !req
550. I thought I was butcher.Copy !req
551. Your barber way worse.Copy !req
552. You know what.
It's fine.Copy !req
553. I made this choice
for me and me only.Copy !req
554. I don't care what people think.Copy !req
555. Yes this is obvious.Copy !req
556. You are clearly strong womanCopy !req
557. to not care that
everybody is thinkingCopy !req
558. about how ugly that hair-Copy !req
559. Tell Children's
Hospital we got a donor.Copy !req
560. Room 824.Copy !req
561. So...
did you get us Jayden Pain?Copy !req
562. Did I get Jayden Pain?Copy !req
563. No.Copy !req
564. But I got you
someone way better.Copy !req
565. I want you to meet...Copy !req
566. Eric. Eric, come on out here.Copy !req
567. Who the hell is Eric?Copy !req
568. A legendary Eagles super-fan.Copy !req
569. I mean this guy is
basically the mascot.Copy !req
570. Let's go Birds.Copy !req
571. Eric, why don't you
show them the tattoo.Copy !req
572. His face was already spoken for.Copy !req
573. Uh Eric no.
Not that one.Copy !req
574. Oh sorry.Copy !req
575. Boom.Copy !req
576. Uh... this is not what
we were expecting.Copy !req
577. Yeah. You said you'd
get us Jayden Pain.Copy !req
578. Nah nah. You don't
understand okay.Copy !req
579. When Eric takes off his
shirt and starts dancing,Copy !req
580. he's a fricken'
Jumbotron magnet okay.Copy !req
581. His body is prime real estate.Copy !req
582. This guy is like the Times
Square of Eagles fansCopy !req
583. right here.Copy !req
584. Hmm. I mean...
it is permanent.Copy !req
585. Walt,
he promised us Jayden Pain.Copy !req
586. I— listen I understand okay.Copy !req
587. But here's the thing.Copy !req
588. Players,
they aren't loyal.Copy !req
589. They change teams.Copy !req
590. They retire.Copy !req
591. They get cut.
But fans,Copy !req
592. fans are always there.Copy !req
593. Cheering you on.Copy !req
594. Supporting you.Copy !req
595. They've always got your back,Copy !req
596. rain or shine.Copy !req
597. And those are the
same values I care aboutCopy !req
598. when I'm looking for a
home for my aging loved ones.Copy !req
599. Not bad.Copy !req
600. Not bad at all.Copy !req
601. Well you've definitely given
us something to think about.Copy !req
602. This is gonna devastate
Martin & MartinCopy !req
603. but it's too good to pass up.Copy !req
604. Listen, the truth isCopy !req
605. I think you should stick
with Martin and Martin.Copy !req
606. I hear they got a new guy
there who's a superstar.Copy !req
607. But... we like your pitch.Copy !req
608. Yeah, we want to
go with Mark Men.Copy !req
609. Actually, you know what?Copy !req
610. Just got a message
here from Eric's doctor.Copy !req
611. Says his liver's all jacked up.Copy !req
612. Probably gonna
be dead in a year.Copy !req
613. Oh no...Copy !req
614. Poor Dr. Rosen.Copy !req
615. Congrats, everybody!Copy !req
616. Green Valley and Martin &
Martin are back in business!Copy !req
617. Cheers!Copy !req
618. Hey Rick.
Can I have a word?Copy !req
619. We need to talk
about your expenses.Copy !req
620. Oh come on.Copy !req
621. Is this about the
round of Ding-a-Lings?Copy !req
622. I mean we were celebrating!Copy !req
623. Ten thousand dollars in scotch?Copy !req
624. Four Eames chairs?Copy !req
625. Wait, what?Copy !req
626. The Denver Broncos select...
D'Lucas D'Gardner,Copy !req
627. Defensive Back, Penn State.Copy !req
628. Damn. Broncos just got
the blind kick returner.Copy !req
629. Oh yeah.
Nice.Copy !req
630. Hey, Mark.Copy !req
631. Yooo, there he is!Copy !req
632. What the hell?
Those bastards fire you?Copy !req
633. Nah, I actually
got promoted again.Copy !req
634. Oh yeah?Copy !req
635. Yeah. Rick got fired.
So they bumped me up.Copy !req
636. Yo that's awesome dude.
Proud of you, bud.Copy !req
637. Thanks, Mark. 'Preciate it.Copy !req
638. But apparently being
an account manager meansCopy !req
639. I gotta work weekends.
So I gave my notice.Copy !req
640. What are you talkin—Copy !req
641. You're killin' it over there.
Why'd you do that?Copy !req
642. There's no way I'm missingCopy !req
643. Day 3 of the draft
with you, Mark.Copy !req
644. It's the best day!Copy !req
645. It's the best day.Copy !req
646. This just in,Copy !req
647. Philadelphia
quarterback Jayden PainCopy !req
648. has unveiled some
new ink this season...Copy !req
649. Damnit!Copy !req
650. I just had the worst day ever.Copy !req
651. I was let go.Copy !req
652. Oh no.
I'm so sorry, honey.Copy !req
653. How are we gonna afford
that new seeing eye dogCopy !req
654. for little Shelby?Copy !req
655. Well, Rick.Copy !req
656. It turns out, we
might not need it.Copy !req
657. Wait. What?Copy !req
658. They found a donor.Copy !req
659. Shelby! Daddy's home!Copy !req
660. Daddy, I can see!Copy !req
661. Oh my god.Copy !req
662. You're so handsome!Copy !req
663. I can't believe it.Copy !req
664. This is the best day of my life!Copy !req
665. Shelby are you excited
to see all the colors?Copy !req