1. Whoa... is that like
a uh, Van Gogh?Copy !req
2. Nah, nah Hank.
It's this girl on Etsy,Copy !req
3. she does these like,
hysterical pet portraits.Copy !req
4. I had her do one of Tammy's old
dog Rollins for her birthday.Copy !req
5. Oh man that is
hysterical, Mark.Copy !req
6. Tammy's gonna love it.Copy !req
7. Yeah, I know.
I thought so, too.Copy !req
8. But then I found out some
surgeon she works withCopy !req
9. got her a freakin' $200 gift
card to some fancy spa.Copy !req
10. Yo, that's no good, Mark.
He's clearly trying to bang her.Copy !req
11. I know, right!
Who the hell does thisCopy !req
12. creep think he is, getting myCopy !req
13. wife some overpriced woo woo
yoga crystal massage BS?Copy !req
14. Ooh, that does sound kinda nice.Copy !req
15. Yo this guy's good, okay?Copy !req
16. She's gonna be all oiled up,
getting rubbed down,Copy !req
17. all while thinking about
that doctor.Copy !req
18. If you don't wanna
get cucked here,Copy !req
19. you gotta get her
something real special.Copy !req
20. Mimi go uppie.Copy !req
21. Mimi go uppie!
Let's go, come on, uppie?Copy !req
22. Never gonna happen,
Jinglebells!Copy !req
23. Could you not?Copy !req
24. I'm trying to build
her self - esteem.Copy !req
25. I think she's a little
insecure around theCopy !req
26. poodles at Doggy Daycare.Copy !req
27. David, let me ask you something.Copy !req
28. How would you feel if
some dude at Andrea'sCopy !req
29. work got her a $200 spa card?Copy !req
30. Great.
She deserves it.Copy !req
31. She works really hard.Copy !req
32. Mark, you're asking a guy
who's getting alpha'd byCopy !req
33. a fricken' foo foo dog.Copy !req
34. I'm not being alpha'd.Copy !req
35. I'm being a "supportive
girl dog dad".Copy !req
36. I want her to feel dominant.Copy !req
37. You know Mark, uh,
maybe you should surpriseCopy !req
38. Tammy with a new puppy.Copy !req
39. Nah, nah, nah,
don't get her a dog.Copy !req
40. If you really want to knock
her socks off, you shouldCopy !req
41. get her an exotic pet.Copy !req
42. The only thing women love
more than an exotic petCopy !req
43. is a man who knows how
to handle an exotic pet.Copy !req
44. Oh, hell yeah!Copy !req
45. Hank... we're goin'
to the sketchy zoo!Copy !req
46. Well, I used to
work at a hot dog factoryCopy !req
47. Until them
robots came alongCopy !req
48. And now
there is no job for meCopy !req
49. But I get
3,000 bucks a monthCopy !req
50. Thanks to UBICopy !req
51. Now we're
Universal Basic GuysCopy !req
52. It may not
sound like muchCopy !req
53. But we're
still gonna tryCopy !req
54. We're just
Universal Basic GuysCopy !req
55. Now this is how you zoo.Copy !req
56. There's no rules. You got
the real plastic straws, youCopy !req
57. got these untrained ex-cons
working with the animals.Copy !req
58. I mean anything could happen
at this kind of place, okay?Copy !req
59. You can literally see one
of these zookeepersCopy !req
60. get their head ripped off.Copy !req
61. Uhh, you sure these animals
should be pets, Mark?Copy !req
62. Now, Hank, you gotta have the
vision with these things, okay?Copy !req
63. Dogs weren't pets until
someone had the ballsCopy !req
64. to domesticate wolves.Copy !req
65. Ooh, what about a baby tiger?Copy !req
66. Now that's a cool pet.Copy !req
67. Aw, Hank, baby tigers grow
up to become big tigers, pal.Copy !req
68. Oh, hm.Copy !req
69. You know, they should
make tigersCopy !req
70. that stay small
like ponies.Copy !req
71. Yeah, they're called House Cats.Copy !req
72. Yeah, you should
get one of those.Copy !req
73. Hank, I didn't drive eight
hours to an exotic zooCopy !req
74. to buy her a
fricken house cat.Copy !req
75. I need something that's
gonna blow thatCopy !req
76. spa gift card
outta of the water.Copy !req
77. Ooo yeah.
Monkey time!Copy !req
78. Now we're talking.Copy !req
79. Oh man.
I love a good monkey.Copy !req
80. They just always seem so happy.Copy !req
81. Tammy would go nuts
for a pet like that.Copy !req
82. It's like a dog 3.0.Copy !req
83. Woah, It's the guy from
the sign!Copy !req
84. Doc Tropics. Welcome to my zoo.Copy !req
85. Yo, this place is
incredible. Incredible.Copy !req
86. Well, thank you.Copy !req
87. Did you happen to catch
our junior tiger handlerCopy !req
88. getting her hand bitten off?Copy !req
89. Ooh boy, that was a show!Copy !req
90. Aw damn, we missed it,Copy !req
91. but you know, we're loving
these monkeys you got here.Copy !req
92. Oh, yes. They're such
majestic creatures.Copy !req
93. Let me ask you something.
How much uh,Copy !req
94. one of these things go for?Copy !req
95. Chimps usually run
around 60 grand.Copy !req
96. Whoa, that's no joke.Copy !req
97. You think you could do
something closer like,Copy !req
98. I don't know,
three grand or something?Copy !req
99. Huh, well I'll tell you what.Copy !req
100. I do have one chimp who
might fit your budget,Copy !req
101. but he's not exactly
in mint condition.Copy !req
102. Okay, okay. That's not
bad, that's not bad.Copy !req
103. Yeah he's uh... something.Copy !req
104. I think he was used in a few
minor medical experiments,Copy !req
105. but don't worry, he was
mostly in the control group.Copy !req
106. Hank, we gotta do this, right?Copy !req
107. This thing's a freakin' steal!Copy !req
108. Yeah, but aren't monkeys
like a lot of responsibility?Copy !req
109. No, Hank.
They're highly intelligent,Copy !req
110. self sufficient creatures.
Set it and forget it.Copy !req
111. You sure Tammy's
gonna be into this?Copy !req
112. Are you kidding me?
She's gonna be through the roof.Copy !req
113. What the hell is this?Copy !req
114. It's your new pet monkey!Copy !req
115. Happy birthday!Copy !req
116. You went and bought a
chimpanzee without asking me?Copy !req
117. It's called a birthday
surprise, Tam!Copy !req
118. I thought you wanted a pet.Copy !req
119. Yeah, I wanted a dog.Copy !req
120. Oh come on, Tam, a dog is
a low ceiling pet.Copy !req
121. At best it can help a
blind person across theCopy !req
122. street or smell a bomb
on a plane or something.Copy !req
123. But a monkey That's
a HIGH ceiling pet.Copy !req
124. Now just imagine you're watching
Summer House Reunion, you gotCopy !req
125. the monkey, it's wearing a funny
little outfit, it's serving youCopy !req
126. White Claws, I mean, come on!Copy !req
127. That's a dream pet
right there.Copy !req
128. Oh my god!Copy !req
129. Relax. It's fine,
it's fine, okay?Copy !req
130. The guy showed me what to do.Copy !req
131. You connect this thing to
the nerve thingy here backCopy !req
132. here, and you just push until
you hear a suction sound.Copy !req
133. Boom. All good.Copy !req
134. Ah, crap.Copy !req
135. So not only did you
buy a chimpanzee,Copy !req
136. you bought a
sick chimpanzee?Copy !req
137. Pfft! Okay,
that's all superficial.Copy !req
138. This is a fixer upper!Copy !req
139. Mark, do you even understandCopy !req
140. that chimps are like, WAYCopy !req
141. too dangerous to keep as pets?Copy !req
142. Like, this is no joke here!Copy !req
143. What the hell are
you talking about?Copy !req
144. They're like the friendliest
animals on the planet.Copy !req
145. Yeah, until they rip
your friggin face off.Copy !req
146. Pfft! This little sweetheart?Copy !req
147. Get outta here.Copy !req
148. I'm going to work, Mark.Copy !req
149. When I get back, this chimp
better be out of here.Copy !req
150. Aw, don't take it
personally, monkey.Copy !req
151. Damnit, Hank.Copy !req
152. Mimi!
Mimi, come on. Uppie!Copy !req
153. Mimi go uppie!Copy !req
154. Uh. It's okay. Maybe we
could just take a quick pic?Copy !req
155. David... help!Copy !req
156. What the hell?
Mimi, stay.Copy !req
157. Whoa!
Ah, um... I'm gonna call 911.Copy !req
158. No, no. Don't... call... police.Copy !req
159. Snake is... illegal.Copy !req
160. What?
Oh of course it is. Uh...Copy !req
161. Wha... wha... what are
you doing with that?Copy !req
162. I don't know.
I was gonna stab it.Copy !req
163. Cut its head off or something.Copy !req
164. No! No...Copy !req
165. You— You can't kill it... okay?Copy !req
166. This... this thing's worth
seventy five grand.Copy !req
167. What! What are you,
Britney Spears?Copy !req
168. Who the hell owns
a $75000 snake?Copy !req
169. Some people enjoy
a high end exotic.Copy !req
170. Oh, yeah. Seems like you're
really enjoying it.Copy !req
171. Hey, could you just...
friggin'... help me get it off?Copy !req
172. You know, maybe if you
showed it more affection,Copy !req
173. it wouldn't try to kill you.Copy !req
174. Here, let me try something.Copy !req
175. Aw, there there. I know,Copy !req
176. Some people don't understand
animals, or anything.Copy !req
177. But look, I'm here and you're
loved. You're appreciated.Copy !req
178. Oh my god.Copy !req
179. !Copy !req
180. Okay monkey, we only gotta
do this for a little bitCopy !req
181. until we can teach you how
to use a big boy bathroom.Copy !req
182. Come on just let me—
Come on dude,Copy !req
183. this is for your own good, okay?Copy !req
184. All the pet monkeys on
YouTube wear diapers.Copy !req
185. Uh, I don't know
if he's into this.Copy !req
186. Come on, come on.
Relax, Hank, okay?Copy !req
187. You just gotta establish
that I'm the alpha.Copy !req
188. Oh my god.Copy !req
189. Hey Mark, it ripped
your face off.Copy !req
190. Yeah, I'm aware, Hank.Copy !req
191. !Copy !req
192. Ah, I forgot my keycard.Copy !req
193. Oh, crap. Tammy's back.Copy !req
194. Everything okay in there?Copy !req
195. All good, hon!Copy !req
196. !Copy !req
197. Okay, don't say anything
about the face, okay?Copy !req
198. The last thing I need
is her raking me overCopy !req
199. the coals right now.Copy !req
200. Uh...Copy !req
201. Oh my god, it's dead!Copy !req
202. I knew that poor thing was sick!Copy !req
203. Tammy, it's just
taking a nap, okay?Copy !req
204. Well, why is it still here?Copy !req
205. Relax, we're taking
it back, okay?Copy !req
206. But not because it's
dangerous or rips off faces.Copy !req
207. Pfft, Ridiculous.Copy !req
208. We're doing it because...Copy !req
209. I'm gonna to be the bigger man,Copy !req
210. I'm going to respect
your decision.Copy !req
211. Uh... are you okay, Mark?
Why won't you look at me?Copy !req
212. I'm fine I'm just... I'm trying
to... I'm trying to measure...Copy !req
213. something... on the wall here...
okay?Copy !req
214. 20 feet... 30 feet...
I got the 40 feet...Copy !req
215. Okay, this'll be the perfect
dimensions for the...Copy !req
216. uh for the, uh, wainscoting.Copy !req
217. Ah, whatever, Mark.
Just get rid of it.Copy !req
218. Ok here's the deal. That
son of a bitch sold us a lemon!Copy !req
219. This monkey has fricken
rabies or something.Copy !req
220. Okay, you're gonna take it
back to Doc TropixCopy !req
221. and get a refund, you got it?Copy !req
222. You want me to do that
like by myself or?Copy !req
223. Yes Hank, okay? I gotta go
to the hospital andCopy !req
224. get my face fixed before
Tammy finds out.Copy !req
225. Doesn't Tammy work
at the hospital?Copy !req
226. Won't she uh, see you?Copy !req
227. She's not gonna recognize me.
I got no face.Copy !req
228. I'll just use a fake name.
Boom.Copy !req
229. Okay, Mr. Rambo. So the
good news is your initialCopy !req
230. facial reconstruction
was a success.Copy !req
231. So my face is good to go?Copy !req
232. No, no.Copy !req
233. Your face— how do I put thisCopy !req
234. in layman's terms,
is a mess.Copy !req
235. We sewed you up and threw on a
pair of temporary lips so youCopy !req
236. can eat, but you're going to
need extensive plastic surgery.Copy !req
237. Hold on, hold on, what do
you mean temporary lips?Copy !req
238. Do I got like some dead
guy's lips or something?Copy !req
239. No, no.Copy !req
240. Oh okay, cool. Phew!Copy !req
241. We used tissue
from a pig scrotum.Copy !req
242. Alright, the nurse will beCopy !req
243. in here shortly toCopy !req
244. remove your bandages.Copy !req
245. Appreciate it.Copy !req
246. Mr. uh, Rocky Rambo.Copy !req
247. Oh, geez.Copy !req
248. How are you feeling today?Copy !req
249. Hola! No hablo inglés.Copy !req
250. Oh, do you want me to
bring in a translator?Copy !req
251. Uh, es ok, es ok I...
uh, I... understand.Copy !req
252. Ok.Copy !req
253. So I'm gonna remove your
bandages and make sureCopy !req
254. everything is healing before the
plastic surgeon examines you.Copy !req
255. No, no!
No, no, I no ready!Copy !req
256. I no ready!Copy !req
257. Oh, it's okay.
Just hold still.Copy !req
258. This'll be quick.Copy !req
259. All done, Mr. Rambo.Copy !req
260. The plastic surgeon
will be in shortly.Copy !req
261. You're gonna love him.
He's the best.Copy !req
262. Aw thanks, Tammy.
You're the best.Copy !req
263. Happy birthday, by the way.Copy !req
264. Oh thank you.Copy !req
265. So, did you get
to the spa yet?Copy !req
266. Not yet, but I'm VERY excited.Copy !req
267. You should be.
The place is incredible.Copy !req
268. You're gonna get a facial
you'll never forget.Copy !req
269. Alright, let's see
what's going on here.Copy !req
270. Hmm... looks like a
clean degloving.Copy !req
271. Good news Mr. Rambo,Copy !req
272. you're a perfect candidate
for a new experimentalCopy !req
273. procedure I pioneered.Copy !req
274. All we need is a couple
pictures of you before theCopy !req
275. accident, and then we 3D
print stem cells to create anCopy !req
276. exact replica of your face.Copy !req
277. Okay, that sounds dumb.Copy !req
278. Oh no. This new treatment
will be a game changer forCopy !req
279. victims of car accidents,
severe burns or evenCopy !req
280. chimp attacks like yourself.Copy !req
281. Wait. Did you say
chimp attack?Copy !req
282. Yeah.Copy !req
283. Probably not the best idea to
keep a chimp as a pet,Copy !req
284. right Mr. Rambo?Copy !req
285. Hmm. Hold on...Copy !req
286. Oh my god.Copy !req
287. Are you frickin' kidding me?
Mark?Copy !req
288. You know Mr. Rambo?Copy !req
289. He's my husband.
I don't believe it.Copy !req
290. I told you that thing was
going to rip your face off.Copy !req
291. Really? I'm sitting here with
no freaking faceCopy !req
292. and now you're gonna
bust my balls about it?Copy !req
293. Did you really think I wasn't
going to find out that yourCopy !req
294. whole freaking face is missing?Copy !req
295. Listen, I can probably do
this procedure right now.Copy !req
296. Did you hear that, Mark?
You better thank yourCopy !req
297. lucky stars for Dr. Johnson.Copy !req
298. He's gonna do the
procedure today.Copy !req
299. Nah, I'm good.Copy !req
300. What do you mean you're good?Copy !req
301. Yeah, I don't need some weird
experimental surgery fromCopy !req
302. this friggin' bozo over here.Copy !req
303. The hell you don't.
Have you seen your face?Copy !req
304. Hm. Not bad, actually.
I actually think it givesCopy !req
305. me a little uh, character.
You know what I mean?Copy !req
306. Anyway, I got things to do.
I'll see you at home, Tam.Copy !req
307. Argh... Damnit!Copy !req
308. Hello, Hank.Copy !req
309. What the -?Copy !req
310. Monkey!Copy !req
311. Ah! Please don't
rip off my face!Copy !req
312. Relax. Watch road.Copy !req
313. Wait a minute.
Is that... you?Copy !req
314. Are you speaking, Monkey?Copy !req
315. Yes.Copy !req
316. What the heck?Copy !req
317. Pull over.
Gas station.Copy !req
318. Uh... okay.Copy !req
319. Why?Copy !req
320. You need gas.Copy !req
321. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
322. And I need bananas.Copy !req
323. I don't see what the
big deal is, Tam, okay?Copy !req
324. A lot of cool dudes
have disfigured faces.Copy !req
325. Yeah, like who?Copy !req
326. Uh, the Phantom of the
Opera. Freddy Krueger.Copy !req
327. I don't know if I would
consider Freddy KruegerCopy !req
328. a cool dude, Mark.Copy !req
329. Ok what about the uh,
The Kiss From a Rose guy?Copy !req
330. Uh, what's his— Seal!Copy !req
331. He's got a messed up
face and he was marriedCopy !req
332. to Heidi fricken Klum!Copy !req
333. He's got a few scars.Copy !req
334. Your face looks like the
Texas Chainsaw Massacre.Copy !req
335. You know what?Copy !req
336. I may be the one with the
messed up face, but you'reCopy !req
337. the one who's unrecognizable.Copy !req
338. All the sudden you don't like
animals, you're going to fancyCopy !req
339. spas, and now you're telling
me to get plastic surgery!Copy !req
340. You know, no one else here
seems to care about my looks.Copy !req
341. Yous all ready to order.Copy !req
342. Oh god...Copy !req
343. I mean... sorry... hi.Copy !req
344. Can I start you off with a face?Copy !req
345. I mean, uh, can
I get you a face?Copy !req
346. I mean can I face you a drink?
I mean—Copy !req
347. Can I just get a tomato soup
and a tuna melt? Thanks.Copy !req
348. You want a face with that?Copy !req
349. Sorry, I meant fries.Copy !req
350. Do you want fries
with that... face?Copy !req
351. Yeah.Copy !req
352. Okay. And do you
want that open-faced?Copy !req
353. Alright, c'mon,
enough, alright?Copy !req
354. No I actually
meant to ask that.Copy !req
355. Oh. Ok sure.Copy !req
356. Yeah and uh, let me
get the number five.Copy !req
357. Mark, you got coffee
coming out of your cheek.Copy !req
358. I'll get you some napkins.Copy !req
359. Tam, it's all about
attitude, okay?Copy !req
360. You see a hole in my
face, I see two mouths!Copy !req
361. Oh yeah, and it's just
what I need on you:Copy !req
362. two mouths.Copy !req
363. Hey, one for talking,
one for eating, baby!Copy !req
364. Relax, I no rip off face.Copy !req
365. You ripped off my
brother's face.Copy !req
366. He was mean jerk.Copy !req
367. You are nice, beta.
No threat.Copy !req
368. Oh thanks, yeah.Copy !req
369. So like uh, when did you
get all smart and stuff?Copy !req
370. Do not know.Copy !req
371. Been in many
medical experiments.Copy !req
372. I wish I was smart.Copy !req
373. Knowledge is suffering.
Much I know, I would rather not.Copy !req
374. So you excited to get back to
your old buddies at Doc Tropixs?Copy !req
375. No. They will euthanize me.Copy !req
376. What's wrong with that?Copy !req
377. Don't you want to
be young again?Copy !req
378. No, that's not what
euthanize mean.Copy !req
379. They will put me to sleep.Copy !req
380. Oh well, rest might be good
after these last few days.Copy !req
381. No, Hank.
Doc Tropixs will kill me.Copy !req
382. Wait, what!
Why would he do that?Copy !req
383. People no pay see
old, broken animal.Copy !req
384. I be already dead if
you guys did not bang me.Copy !req
385. Uh... what?Copy !req
386. Sorry. Autocorrect.Copy !req
387. I'd be already dead if
you guys did not buy me.Copy !req
388. Well if he's gonna kill you,
I'm not taking you there.Copy !req
389. Is okay, Hank.
I am mess.Copy !req
390. No family. No troop.
Too much time in tiny cage.Copy !req
391. Injected with many medicine.
I have many disease.Copy !req
392. Body hurt.
Eyeballs no stay in head.Copy !req
393. Better for me to end.Copy !req
394. Oh I don't know, Monkey.
Come on,Copy !req
395. there's gotta be something
that brings you joy.Copy !req
396. There is one thing I've
always want to do.Copy !req
397. I get this.Copy !req
398. Whoa. Where'd you get that?Copy !req
399. I take from Doc pocket.
Here you take.Copy !req
400. I don't know, Monkey.Copy !req
401. Consider as refund
for broken pet.Copy !req
402. I mean Mark did ask me
to get his money back.Copy !req
403. No give to brother.
Money only for Hank.Copy !req
404. Yeah but it's Mark's
money you know,Copy !req
405. he paid for you
and everything.Copy !req
406. For duck's sake Hank, no
spend life being used by others.Copy !req
407. You gave me best day of life.Copy !req
408. You deserve such day yourself.Copy !req
409. Whoa, was this really the
best day of your life?Copy !req
410. Yes. Well, up thereCopy !req
411. with time they
inject me with MDMA.Copy !req
412. I don't think playing dead
is working, Jinglebells.Copy !req
413. Well, that's because most
dead people don't talk!Copy !req
414. You got better ideas?Copy !req
415. Huh? Maybe call it a
snowflake over and over?Copy !req
416. Would you chill?Copy !req
417. Every time you freak
out, it squeezes harder.Copy !req
418. Why couldn't you just get a
slow loris or a sugar glider?Copy !req
419. There's plenty of illegal exotic
pets that aren't gonna EAT YOU!Copy !req
420. Nah this is just kind of
territorial thing, okay?Copy !req
421. They rarely eat humans.Copy !req
422. Seems like it's trying to,Copy !req
423. it just can't get past
your cankles.Copy !req
424. Hey! Chronic edema is a
serious medical condition.Copy !req
425. Okay so what do
these things eat?Copy !req
426. Mostly small to
mid-size animals.Copy !req
427. Mimi no!Copy !req
428. Yes Mimi!Copy !req
429. Yes Mimi!Copy !req
430. You go girl!
You got it!Copy !req
431. Sorry, Mernft.Copy !req
432. I know that snake
meant a lot to you.Copy !req
433. Eh, not really. I was just
looking to flip the thing.Copy !req
434. Anyway, it is what it is.
Life goes on.Copy !req
435. Uh... except for the 15 foot
deadly snake on the loose?Copy !req
436. Nah. That thing will
be dead in a day.Copy !req
437. Yes Mimi! Hi!
Oh, you're such a good girl!Copy !req
438. David...Copy !req
439. I was thinking, uh, you
know, maybe you couldCopy !req
440. come live with me.Copy !req
441. I don't know, Hank.Copy !req
442. I don't want to be
too much trumpet...Copy !req
443. Trouble.Copy !req
444. No way, it'll be fun.Copy !req
445. Maybe.Copy !req
446. Hey, Monkey, uh, wanna
get some breakfast?Copy !req
447. Hey, Monkey?Copy !req
448. Monkey!Copy !req
449. Monkey wake up!Copy !req
450. Monkey!
Monkey, wake up!Copy !req
451. Monkey, monkey. No!Copy !req
452. No Monkey. No.Copy !req
453. Ah what the hell, Tam?Copy !req
454. Why can't you just love
me for who I am, okay?Copy !req
455. This is my face now.Copy !req
456. It's not about your face, Mark.Copy !req
457. It's that you can easily fix it
and for some reason you won't.Copy !req
458. Uh yeah. Because I'd
rather have a messed upCopy !req
459. face than one fixed by
Dr. Fifty Shades of.Copy !req
460. Grey's Anatomy who is clearly
trying to bang you!Copy !req
461. Wait a minute I'm sorry, what?Copy !req
462. Who the hell gets someone's
wife a $200 spa card, okay?Copy !req
463. That's what this is about?Copy !req
464. Yeah. It is.Copy !req
465. What are you doing?Copy !req
466. I'm sleeping on the couchCopy !req
467. so you won't have to
look at me.Copy !req
468. Damnit.Copy !req
469. Mark, what is this?Copy !req
470. Eh nothing, it's just
some stupid birthday giftCopy !req
471. I thought would be funny.Copy !req
472. This is HYSTERICAL, Mark!Copy !req
473. Yeah it is pretty
hysterical, right?Copy !req
474. Hon, this is so
fricken thoughtful.Copy !req
475. Why didn't you
just give me this?Copy !req
476. I was going to, and
then uh... you come inCopy !req
477. all excited about
Dr. Sleezebag's little card.Copy !req
478. Yeah I got 200 dollars, and
I'm like forget it,Copy !req
479. I'll get you something else.Copy !req
480. Are you kidding me?Copy !req
481. This is way better than
some stupid spa card.Copy !req
482. Besides, 200 bucks is like a 15
minute massage at that place.Copy !req
483. But you know what the
best gift would be?Copy !req
484. I don't know, baby tiger?Copy !req
485. Dick's Sporting Goods
gift card.Copy !req
486. No... I want my husband's
handsome face back.Copy !req
487. I mean I'm not gonna lie...
It was pretty good face eh?Copy !req
488. So will you get
the damn surgery?Copy !req
489. This whole thing is absurd.Copy !req
490. Yeah, I guess it is kind of
hard to eat wingsCopy !req
491. with a pig's sack for lips.Copy !req
492. Oh, thank God.
Come here, you.Copy !req
493. Wait a minute...Copy !req
494. when you say "pig's sack"
do you mean...Copy !req
495. oh, my god.Copy !req
496. Well you can always
kiss the second mouth.Copy !req
497. Come on, last chance...Copy !req
498. Yeah. No chance.Copy !req
499. And here's your banana smoothie.Copy !req
500. Awesome.Copy !req
501. Anything else I can get you,
Mr. Hoagies?Copy !req
502. Yeah, you know what...
Uh... let me get one of themCopy !req
503. uh, woo woo yoga
crystal massages.Copy !req
504. You got it.Copy !req
505. Oh yeah.Copy !req
506. Whoops.Copy !req
507. Hmm.Copy !req