Undercovers 1x3

1. Ja.

2. Now, that's a nice way to start the day.

3. Sure beats walking the dog.

4. Let's stay in bed.

5. We got an 11:00.

6. Remember last night you said we need every job we can get?

7. Lizzy could take the meeting. Lizzy.

8. I know. It's just so good in here.

9. We've got the best sheets in the world,

10. and we could spend the day with no noise,

11. no computers, no phones...

12. No gadgets at all.

13. I was just putting that away.

14. While pointing it at the TV.

15. You have a problem.

16. Let me guess, you think I'm addicted to technology.

17. Of course I do.

18. What's in your other hand? Nothing.

19. Honey, we can't miss this meeting.

20. I know. We need the money.

21. You want some breakfast?

22. Do we have any more french toast?

23. Should be in the fridge.

24. I can make you some eggs too.

25. All I need is your french toast.

26. I brought the paper in.

27. I hope you don't mind, I did the Sudoku too—

28. diabolical.

29. You know, you two really should consider

30. shoring up your perimeter security.

31. Took me all of three minutes to break in here,

32. using nothing but a ballpoint pen.

33. Now, you may try to pretend otherwise,

34. but you are no longer Dick and Jane

35. living on 123 Main Street.

36. What are you doing here, Shaw, besides eating my breakfast?

37. The, uh, agency has an informant in Berlin

38. named Hans Bauer.

39. Bauer has been a semi-reliable source of information

40. for the past two years.

41. Semi-reliable?

42. As in half the time, he's helpful,

43. and half the time, he's inventing fairy tales,

44. hoping for a big payday.

45. So what's the deal?

46. "The deal,"

47. as you so originally put it,

48. is that Bauer claims to have information concerning

49. a code-breaking device

50. that could compromise the identities of our agents

51. around the world.

52. You mean they'd be able to access the CIA database?

53. Reveal the covers of all operatives?

54. That will compromise every operation.

55. And every Agent.

56. You know what's adorable?

57. Is the way you two finish each other's sentences.

58. Love that. You leave for Berlin tomorrow morning.

59. We're working on having an Agent meet you in the field.

60. Your assignment is to arrange a meet with Bauer,

61. ascertain if there's any truth to his claims.

62. If there is, you're to locate the device and grab it.

63. Mr. Shaw...

64. In the future,

65. we'd rather you not break into our house

66. to hold briefings.

67. And eat my breakfast.

68. Well, that assumes that the three of us

69. would have a future.

70. And the french toast— a little dry.

71. That because you reheated it too many times!

72. Thank you for defending my french toast.

73. That was very gentlemanly of you.

74. I will always defend your french toast.

75. That's what husbands do.

76. You think that's gonna be weird,

77. being my husband?

78. If I'm not used to it by now, we're in big trouble.

79. I mean in the field.

80. Weird? Why would it be weird?

81. I don't know.

82. We're only just starting to figure all this out,

83. and it's not like either one of us has ever been married

84. to our partner before,

85. unless there's something you're not telling me.

86. Hmm. Not that I know of.

87. Cute.

88. Look, sweetie,

89. we both worked with a lot of people in the past.

90. This'll be no different.

91. We're spies who happen to be married.

92. Now, when we're in the field, we turn that off

93. and just do our jobs as operatives, okay?

94. Okay.

95. Now, since there's no food,

96. let's go to our meeting.

97. This is our general contract.

98. You just sign the bottom, and we'll take care

99. of all the catering for the funeral.

100. Thank you so much.

101. Thank you.

102. With everything that's happened,

103. I haven't eaten much the last couple days,

104. but your food has definitely brought back my appetite.

105. Thank you. Thank you.

106. All right, take care.

107. We should give him a discount.

108. Please tell me that gorgeous guy who just left

109. is not hiring us to cater his wedding.

110. Nope, funeral— his stepfather died.

111. Oh, thank God. Lizzy.

112. What? It is hard to find someone these days.

113. Whoever said online dating was easy

114. clearly didn't have a computer.

115. Maybe you need to forget about meeting someone online

116. and get out in the world.

117. Yeah, but then I'd have to get dressed.

118. Please tell me that gorgeous guy who just left

119. was not hiring us to cater his wedding.

120. You two are embarrassing.

121. We have to go to San Francisco tomorrow.

122. Yeah. The hotel wants us to redesign the kitchen.

123. Lizzy, you'll run the funeral job.

124. Really? Is that— I mean, is that a good idea?

125. There is someone here with a whole lot more experience.

126. Lizzy's in charge.

127. Yeah, boy, I'm in charge.

128. do you see the informant yet?

129. I think I got him.

130. Bauer is sitting at a table— your 2:00, 20 yards.

131. I see him.

132. Steven, be careful. He could've been followed here.

133. Okay, he's signaling.

134. I'm going in. Make this quick.

135. Get him to tell you if the code breaker even exists

136. and then get out.

137. Not as much as classical.

138. I like the blues, myself.

139. I've infiltrated a German crime syndicate...

140. That has obtained a code-breaking device.

141. The syndicate is arranging to sell the code breaker

142. in the next 48 hours.

143. And where is it now? These things, I do not know.

144. They don't share the details with me.

145. They don't trust me yet.

146. It's a shooter— behind you on the roof.

147. Steven, move now. We got to go now.

148. Get up. Come on.

149. Get out of there. Hang on.

150. Steven, what are you doing? Get the hell out of there!

151. I'm out of here.

152. You should've gotten out of there when I told you to.

153. Did I get killed? No, but somebody else did.

154. If I were just your partner,

155. you would've sprinted out of there.

156. Oh, this is about the garbage, isn't it?

157. What?

158. At home, when you tell me to take the garbage out

159. and I'm distracted, you think I'm ignoring you.

160. I don't tell you to. I ask you tow

161. and, no, that's not what this is about.

162. This is about you almost getting shot by a sniper.

163. I was trying to get some more intel.

164. When I did know, you still didn't move.

165. I didn't do anything out there you wouldn't have.

166. The second you told me there was as shooter, Bauer was hit.

167. Hey. Hey, guys. Hi, guys.

168. Are you kidding me with that? What, the pjs?

169. Feels like I'm totally naked. This thing is 96% silk.

170. And 4% Lady Gaga.

171. Okay, are we gonna work on the case,

172. or should I come back in an hour

173. when you guys are done fighting?

174. I was able to access the plaza security cameras.

175. So less than one minute after the shot was fired,

176. this car was seen leaving the garage fast.

177. We find the car, we'll find the shooter—

178. black Mercedes. There were two figures.

179. I saw them. We got a license plate?

180. No. But there was one unique marker.

181. It's a crest. What's it from—a university?

182. Der Verein— it's a private club.

183. So I'll check out the club

184. while you two run the license plates

185. in their garage, right?

186. Yeah, that's pretty much it.

187. Oh, that guy can really wear a suit.

188. Tell me it's no coincidence that you're here.

189. Who's there? It's Leo.

190. Leo? Hi, Sam.

191. What, Shaw didn't tell you an Agent was going to meet you?

192. He did. I assumed it was Hoyt.

193. That's very flattering, sir.

194. Hey, quick question— are there strippers there?

195. No strippers, just dancers. But they're all nude—

196. fully nude. I knew it. I knew it.

197. And they're dancing seductively, aren't they?

198. Don't listen to him, sweetie.

199. You get anything?

200. We're gonna run license plates,

201. see if anything pops up.

202. But there are a lot of Mercedes down here.

203. But check this out.

204. Who's that? Does she have anything to do with this?

205. No. Met her today.

206. I'm supposed to meet up with her later tonight.

207. Congratulations.

208. Not that I don't want to see snaps of your conquests—

209. oh, she and I haven't conquested yet.

210. Do you understand what's at stake here?

211. Stevie, who understands better than I do, huh?

212. No one, okay?

213. The bad guys get the bad thing,

214. and the bad stuff will happen.

215. Seriously, do you really think I want to compromise

216. our database?

217. You know how many enemies I've made.

218. I'm dead if this gets out.

219. What? What are you looking at?

220. I think I've seen him before.

221. Who—the Mario Bros. Guy or the Silver Fox?

222. Mario. Who is it?

223. Hey, I'm drinking that.

224. Follow me like in Budapest. Ah, Budapest.

225. Hoyt, stand by.

226. Always standing by for you, sir.

227. Mmm. Estoy muy contento.

228. Ay. Whoo-hoo.

229. Checking the print.

230. Bingo—ernesto Santos.

231. His first name isn't actually bingo,

232. just Ernesto.

233. Lives in Majorca,

234. has been known to negotiate on behalf of verdad suprema,

235. the Spanish terrorist group.

236. Mr. Agent Bloom, double bingo.

237. If Ernesto is the buyer,

238. then the other guy must be the seller.

239. Ah.

240. Estoy muy contento. Adriana.

241. I just got to say it.

242. Dancer probably, long legs, I want to slide down them.

243. Don't worry, I'm sure it was before he met you.

244. Anything?

245. Nothing coming up on the second print.

246. Okay, when they're done here, we'll follow them.

247. The deal could be going down right now.

248. We've got to get in that building.

249. Okay, here's my suggestion.

250. We go around the back,

251. which is most likely guarded, but at least out of sight.

252. We take out the guard,

253. and we don't go in the way they'd expect.

254. We climb to the roof from the outside

255. and make our way in from there.

256. "Climb the roof from the outside"?

257. Buddy, listen to her.

258. You're not listening.

259. That's key in any relationship.

260. Not to take her side ever,

261. but there would be a security panel

262. up on the roof, which is the easiest way

263. to hack into the building's cameras.

264. I'm sorry. That's the only time I'll do that.

265. We climb 20 stories on the outside of the building?

266. Come on. It'll be fun.

267. I promise.

268. I can do it for you if you want.

269. All right, let's go.

270. Only one guard by the door—

271. we got lucky.

272. Okay, what the hell was that, huh?

273. Who are you—Catwoman?

274. What?

275. The way you scaled that building,

276. that was amazing.

277. Oh, come on. That was nothing.

278. You should've seen me summit K-2.

279. K-2?

280. Check this. Look at this new tranquilizer gun—

281. invisible laser sight.

282. You use glasses, you can see,

283. but there's no red dot.

284. Is it 4g?

285. 4g, what are you—

286. very funny.

287. Thanks, Leo. Let's go.

288. What's happening?

289. I'm at the security panel.

290. Hoyt, it should be any minute.

291. Sitting by, Mrs. Agent Bloom.

292. You're hot.

293. Wow. What do you see?

294. No, it's just not often I hear those words from a woman.

295. I kind of want to enjoy it for a second.

296. Okay.

297. They have cameras everywhere.

298. Okay, we have three people in an office

299. on the tenth floor.

300. These guys must be the sellers.

301. We're on our way.

302. My German's not very good, so I can't guarantee

303. I understood what they said.

304. But it sounds like the device is in the building,

305. that the deal is happening tonight

306. when Ernesto's associate gets here with the money...

307. Which I think is right now.

308. We're on our way to the tenth floor.

309. The plantain has entered the building.

310. What the hell are you talking about?

311. I'm going for a little Spanish flavor.

312. Hello.

313. Something just happened.

314. One of their guys just used the code breaker.

315. Which way?

316. Straight down the hall, right at the end,

317. three doors on your left.

318. But hurry. The plantain is in the elevator.

319. I repeat, the plantain is in the elevator.

320. Use the lock-pick gun. It's quicker.

321. I don't like the lock-pick gun.

322. Who's not listening to who now?

323. You were saying?

324. Caballeros.

325. Holy God, he shot them. Who shot who?

326. The German just shot the verdad suprema guys.

327. It's a double cross.

328. Crap. No.

329. I-I just lost the security feed.

330. The alarm must've reset the system.

331. You guys are on your own.

332. They're still on this floor.

333. What's happening? Hello?

334. Let's go.

335. Whoa, Stevie! Jeez, I'm on your side.

336. Come on, man.

337. Ah!

338. Is anyone still alive who speaks English?

339. We're here.

340. Tell me you got the code breaker.

341. Yeah, we got it. But we don't have them.

342. Have we heard from Shaw? Nothing yet.

343. He's probably trying to figure out a way

344. to say "good job" while still insulting us.

345. Let me know if you hear anything.

346. Okay, for the funeral reception,

347. I wanted to start off with bruschetta

348. and a few different bowls of crudites and dip.

349. And then we move on to the asian chicken

350. and the pasta salads.

351. Bruschetta's a bad idea. Lance.

352. Soggy too soon.

353. Let me finish.

354. Make sure you have enough of both salads.

355. People tend to take a lot.

356. Their eyes are bigger than their stomachs.

357. Not everyone. Keep going.

358. I already told Anna to make triple portions.

359. Then, uh, when it gets closer to 5:00,

360. we bring out the lasagna and the baked chicken.

361. And I hope you don't mind, but I added one thing.

362. What thing?

363. Well, at a funeral reception,

364. I figured people would want comfort food.

365. And so I told Brad we'd do your special

366. gruyere mac and cheese.

367. Liz, that's great.

368. You're really on top of things.

369. You're ready for this.

370. But I do agree with Lance about the bruschetta.

371. What is sweeter than justice?

372. Baklava.

373. What's the problem? You two failed.

374. That's the problem.

375. We brought it back, did we not?

376. No, you did not.

377. What you brought back was a generic laptop

378. with some cipher software on it,

379. not the code breaker. What?

380. And if the real device is out there,

381. somebody's gonna use it.

382. And then I might as well take out a full-page ad

383. in the International Herald,

384. saying, "Carlton Shaw, career spy, kill me now."

385. We missed it. Somehow, we missed it.

386. And somehow, I am not the least bit surprised.

387. Okay, did we come here so you could berate us?

388. Maybe.

389. You've put every Agent's life in danger.

390. Obviously, reactivating two agents

391. who've been out of the game for five years

392. was—if I may use terms that you two can understand—

393. a recipe for failure.

394. Maybe the device doesn't exist at all.

395. No, maybe your future

396. as operatives doesn't exist at all.

397. We can't assume that this device isn't real

398. and risk the lives of thousands of agents,

399. including yourselves.

400. You do know the name Karl Becker, right?

401. Who doesn't? Bad guy, arms dealer—

402. no one's ever gotten close to him.

403. Wrong. You have.

404. And you let him get away.

405. And now, thanks to you two, he most likely has access

406. to our entire database

407. and the code breaker to get inside.

408. Job well done.

409. So we're going back to Germany?

410. No. You're going nowhere.

411. You two are off this case, effective immediately.

412. That's what you came here for— to hear me say that.

413. Come...

414. Come.

415. Stop torturing yourself. You're gonna go crazy.

416. Yeah, I'm going crazy

417. because it sounds like somebody's working

418. a guillotine in there.

419. What did this carrot ever do to you?

420. I love this carrot. I hate this dull knife.

421. I know you, Sam.

422. You always chop so loud

423. when you're frustrated.

424. You think Shaw was right?

425. That it's over for us? I knew it.

426. Don't let that man get to you, please.

427. But you can't deny there was some truth

428. to what he was saying.

429. It has been five years since we did this, Steven.

430. And it is different doing it together.

431. Maybe coming back as a team isn't as easy

432. as we thought it would be.

433. Look, don't listen to him, all right?

434. We missed something, and we need to figure out what.

435. Come here. Check this out.

436. This knife is useless anyway.

437. I thought "it's not the tools, it's the chef."

438. Yeah, because I used to have good tools.

439. Oh, baby, you got killer tools.

440. Here's the office before we got there.

441. There's the laptop, nothing else.

442. Shooting in the conference room, just these five guys.

443. Who's at the head of the table?

444. Everyone's in a suit but him.

445. No match on him. He's young.

446. I'm thinking new recruit.

447. Did we do a civilian database search?

448. We did. Nothing came up.

449. Try hospitals. Look at his wrist.

450. Isn't that a hospital bracelet?

451. Mathias Faber.

452. I'll do a random search using my beloved technology.

453. I get it. It's helpful.

454. As Hoyt would say, "bingo." You're a genius.

455. Check this out.

456. Mathias Faber—

457. he was separated from his family at age three,

458. bipolar, prone to violent episodes.

459. Look at these I.Q. scores. He's a genius.

460. A math genius.

461. He's like a savant.

462. Of course he is.

463. Why else would he be with these people?

464. He wasn't testing the device. He is the device.

465. That's ridiculous.

466. No one person can crack the codes

467. to access the CIA servers.

468. That guy can recall pi

469. to the 23rd-thousandth decimal place.

470. I think you're wrong.

471. Actually, it makes perfect sense.

472. If the thing we brought back isn't the device,

473. then this kid is.

474. It all adds up.

475. It's him, not the laptop, that matters.

476. I will pass this up the chain of command,

477. and they will decide how to proceed.

478. I don't think so. Excuse me?

479. We're going back to Germany.

480. We're gonna go to Karl Becker's to get that kid.

481. This is our case.

482. Now, you might not like it,

483. but you know as well as I do that we don't need to go

484. through normal channels.

485. And if you try to stop it,

486. I'll go up the chain of command myself.

487. Fine. Go.

488. But if this kid is not who you two say he is...

489. Let's just say it's a good thing

490. that catering business is working out well for you.

491. Um, actually, it's not going so well.

492. Shows how much you know.

493. All right, get in, grab the kid, and get out.

494. On our way in, I saw there was only one guard at the gate.

495. Can I apologize again

496. for steering you wrong with that code breaker?

497. Hoyt, forget about it. It wasn't your fault.

498. Yeah, thanks.

499. It seemed like kind of your fault.

500. Be back in a sec.

501. You just said it wasn't my fault, right?

502. So I shouldn't even worry about it.

503. It's not really my fault... Focus, focus.

504. Getting the power grid up.

505. Power's out.

506. But a building this big,

507. I'm sure they have a backup generator.

508. It's still gonna work. You have the intercept ready?

509. I was born with the intercept ready.

510. Come on.

511. Three, two...

512. We're good.

513. You have great skin.

514. How often do you moisturize?

515. You have problems.

516. Oh, I get it. You have a regimen.

517. Nothing to be ashamed about.

518. I'm sure there's at least one other guy who does that...

519. Somewhere.

520. Hoyt rigged this to scan a two-mile radius

521. for all cell conversations.

522. So we're just supposed to sit here

523. and listen to phone calls?

524. Karl saw us at the club.

525. We can't run out into the open.

526. I'm not used to sitting on the sidelines, man.

527. I'm the star quarterback.

528. And not just 'cause I used to sleep

529. with all the cheerleaders and the occasional mascot.

530. Okay.

531. Okay.

532. Yeah, uh...

533. Whoa, what are you doing? Warning Sam.

534. Sam can take care of herself. Trust me.

535. She's not just my partner. She's my wife.

536. I'm going in. I'll go with you.

537. No.

538. I got this.

539. Aah!

540. Come with me.

541. Who else is with you? How many?

542. How much does your agency know?

543. Maybe we need to explain

544. how this will work.

545. Are you ready now to answer?

546. Yeah?

547. Mathias.

548. Ah, ah, ah, ah.

549. Mathias. Mathias.

550. It's over.

551. What were you thinking? I saved you, didn't I?

552. You ran into the house through the front entrance

553. and actually knocked on the door.

554. You did everything they tell us not to do.

555. What kind of plan was that? I saved you, didn't I, honey?

556. What was I supposed to do? The guy had a gun to your head.

557. Leo, hit him. I'm grateful. You know that.

558. But it was stupid and dangerous.

559. Okay, I did what I had to do to save my partner.

560. Boom.

561. You just happen to have jelly beans.

562. I always carry jelly beans. I have to. They're a staple.

563. You'd be surprised how many times people come up to me—

564. let's go, Hoyt. Yeah.

565. With Karl Becker in custody, his syndicate will collapse.

566. But, no doubt, someone else will step forward

567. to fill the void.

568. We could have witnessed an agency meltdown.

569. What about Mathias? Where is he?

570. He's currently being examined by a medical staff.

571. We spoke to a relative in Germany

572. who informed us that he has distant cousins

573. living in the States.

574. They'd prefer that Mathias stay here

575. to receive the treatment he needs.

576. We'll make sure that happens.

577. And let me guess,

578. see if he can break a code or two for us?

579. Have a nice day, agents bloom.

580. We'll be in touch.

581. Oh, hi, hotel guy.

582. Bye, hotel guy. He's nice.

583. So the funeral went well?

584. Mrs. Dixon didn't call you? No.

585. Then it went great.

586. Yeah, no, it was flawless.

587. Lizzy.

588. Ay...

589. I know you guys trusted me, but...

590. It may have been a little too much too soon.

591. Lizzy, what did you do?

592. Some people might say that I made out with our client.

593. Lizzy?

594. And then got caught by his grieving mother,

595. who then chose not to pay us.

596. What? But I will fix it.

597. Look, I know you guys put me in charge.

598. And I will get that money, I promise.

599. When I see Brad tonight, I will get it—

600. wait. You're seeing him tonight?

601. Yeah, but that's kind of your fault.

602. You told me to get out into the real world

603. and meet a guy, right?

604. See, it's your fault, Sam. Thank you.

605. I don't want to say, "I told you so,"

606. but this all could've been avoided.

607. You were just jealous because Brad kissed me

608. and not you.

609. 100% true.

610. Taking a very sharp knife,

611. I'm just going to insert it as close to the pan as I can get

612. and make a swoop around—

613. Hey, hold on. Hold on.

614. If you want to change the channel,

615. you're going to have to get up and do it yourself,

616. just like in the old days before remotes.

617. Seriously, this has to stop. Technology is good.

618. I embrace it. I love it. Ah.

619. You know, Hoyt had these monoculars

620. you could see through walls with.

621. They were not perfect, but—

622. can I tell you something else you were right about?

623. Hmm? You were right about Berlin.

624. I did worry more about you because you're my husband.

625. I know that.

626. Just like you busted into that room like a superhero

627. because I'm your wife.

628. I should've been more careful.

629. Uh-huh. But it—it is different.

630. We can't pretend to be just partners

631. when we're in the field— it's impossible.

632. I love you.

633. I can't turn that off when we're on the job.

634. Who else would I want to have watching my back

635. than the person I care about the most

636. in this world?

637. Right?

638. I know it hasn't been that long,

639. but I already feel safer when you're with me out there.

640. Yeah? You know what I mean?

641. You asked before...

642. If it was over for us.

643. Don't say we're just getting started.

644. We're just getting started.