1. Surrender and I can guarantee you'll live.Copy !req
2. You can't think the government
has a chance against shinobi.Copy !req
3. I have my doubts about you being
able to win with that attitude.Copy !req
4. This rotating twister dagger...Copy !req
5. is more than capable of piercing
that blade-proof hoodie of yours.Copy !req
6. Take a look at the back of your hand.Copy !req
7. Finally noticed?Copy !req
8. Did you really think shinobi like us wouldCopy !req
9. infiltrate enemy territory
without fire support?Copy !req
10. When I give the signal,
your arm will evaporate.Copy !req
11. Our reach extends to
anywhere in the atmosphere...Copy !req
12. with our "Escape."Copy !req
13. Granted, that's a lie.Copy !req
14. The incident this summer where
someone was cutting off male organs.Copy !req
15. There was a decent amount of talk about it.Copy !req
16. ShinobinCopy !req
17. The foreigner responsible for itCopy !req
18. made a lot of noise about ninja,
so the top brass were concerned.Copy !req
19. They selected a handful of Genin
and sent them after the foreigner.Copy !req
20. Yeah. I remember it all right.Copy !req
21. September 9thCopy !req
22. Because I was the foreigner's
first point of contact.Copy !req
23. July 23rdCopy !req
24. Nimble, invisible.Copy !req
25. Nightly Japanese agent... ninja.Copy !req
26. They're everywhere,
but impossible to find.Copy !req
27. There's something so philosophical about that.Copy !req
28. I want to be a ninja.Copy !req
29. Episode 2: "I Want to Be a Ninja"Copy !req
30. Where are you, ninja?Copy !req
31. Foot and Bicycle TrafficCopy !req
32. All right, you little squirts!Copy !req
33. Drink the breast milk!
Breast milk, fresh from the tap!Copy !req
34. It's him! It's Mr. Breast Milk!Copy !req
35. Come on, step right up and
have a drink! It's breast milk!Copy !req
36. You can even suck from
the source, if you want!Copy !req
37. Ninja...Copy !req
38. Wh-What the...Copy !req
39. Some kind of ninja code?!Copy !req
40. Why so close to the ground?Copy !req
41. To keep it hidden from view?!Copy !req
42. Are there more?!Copy !req
43. Anything else?!Copy !req
44. Anywhere!Copy !req
45. Warning: If you piss here,
I'll cut your rotten rod off.Copy !req
46. This is it.Copy !req
47. Hey, it's you.Copy !req
48. Kinda surprised you actually called.Copy !req
49. Me?Copy !req
50. I'm in Germany.Copy !req
51. For work.Copy !req
52. With you having left,Copy !req
53. there's more to do.Copy !req
54. So, what do you want?Copy !req
55. I see it.Copy !req
56. Warning: If you piss here,
I'll cut your rotten rod off.Copy !req
57. No doubt about it.Copy !req
58. This is a message from the ninja.Copy !req
59. As for what it means...Copy !req
60. Whoa.Copy !req
61. Pardon me.Copy !req
62. It says to cut the dick off of
anyone taking a piss on the wall.Copy !req
63. Rod is slang for dick.Copy !req
64. You'll wanna cut two or three off,Copy !req
65. and then the ninja will make contact with you.Copy !req
66. Don't mention it. I'm glad to help.Copy !req
67. If you're able to infiltrate the
world's greatest order of killers,Copy !req
68. it only stands to benefit us.Copy !req
69. And until then, consider your daughterCopy !req
70. to be in our care.Copy !req
71. Infants can be quite handy, after all.Copy !req
72. If I cut three dicks off,Copy !req
73. I can become a ninja.Copy !req
74. If I become a ninja,Copy !req
75. I can save my daughter.Copy !req
76. Ai-chan! You want a lift back to your place?Copy !req
77. Oh, that's cool. I'm gonna
drop by the convenience store.Copy !req
78. Okay.Copy !req
79. Good work today.Copy !req
80. Y'know, I should probably
give Ono-san some beer.Copy !req
81. Hey, girlie, what're you staring at?Copy !req
82. You some kinda perv,
sizing up my schlong like that?Copy !req
83. If you want a better look...Copy !req
84. Dickhead.Copy !req
85. Huh?! You want a piece of this?!Copy !req
86. Dickhead.Copy !req
87. Hey! Get back here!Copy !req
88. Dickhead!Copy !req
89. You got no vocabulary, do you?!Copy !req
90. Dickhead!Copy !req
91. Huh, a foreigner.Copy !req
92. That stupid girl...Copy !req
93. She chugs all of my beer,Copy !req
94. and then accuses me
of stealing her underwear!Copy !req
95. Ono-san!Copy !req
96. Why are you wearing Kawado-san's bra?Copy !req
97. Why don't you tell me all
about it over some drinks?Copy !req
98. W-Well, actually, Kawado-san drank
all my booze, so I've got none...Copy !req
99. Oh, don't worry.Copy !req
100. There's that plum brandy
underneath the kitchenetteCopy !req
101. that your elderly mom sends you every year.Copy !req
102. How do you know about that?!Copy !req
103. Well, cheers.Copy !req
104. Well... sure. Cheers.Copy !req
105. Missus Ono's plum brandy really hits the spot!Copy !req
106. I think I'll have some more.Copy !req
107. Oh, don't mind me. I can pour it myself.Copy !req
108. How exactly are you familiar
with its taste, anyway?Copy !req
109. So, regarding this bra situation...Copy !req
110. Well... it was about two weeks ago.Copy !req
111. Since I had been fired from my
old job, I was drunk off my ass,Copy !req
112. and on my way back to the apartment.Copy !req
113. That evening, it was weirdly hot.Copy !req
114. There was no breeze at all.
Just an overall creepy night.Copy !req
115. And when I glanced upward at random...Copy !req
116. There was a bra flying in the sky!Copy !req
117. You can imagine how shocked I was!Copy !req
118. And as disturbing a sight
as it was, I jumped after it!Copy !req
119. But when I caught it, I got the
feeling someone was watching me.Copy !req
120. So, despite being creeped out the entire time...Copy !req
121. I cast my gaze downward.Copy !req
122. And there he was! Between
the apartment and the wall!Copy !req
123. He was white as a sheet, and staring
at me with his eyes wide open!Copy !req
124. It was the ghost of a little boy!Copy !req
125. I think that was probably just some
freshly pubescent neighborhood kidCopy !req
126. who was flying a drone, actually.Copy !req
127. He's been peeping on Kawado-san's
room pretty regularly.Copy !req
128. I guess he's upgraded to stealing underwear.Copy !req
129. Don't you think that's the kind of thing
you should tell Kawado-san?!Copy !req
130. More importantly, if you'd explained what
happened and returned the bra to Kawado-san,Copy !req
131. wouldn't that have avoided any issues?Copy !req
132. Th-The thing is... I rushed
inside my room, terrified.Copy !req
133. And then I suddenly felt nauseous...
and the bra was there, so...Copy !req
134. Now, I did take it to the laundromat
to clean it the next day!Copy !req
135. But I realized... Wouldn't it be even
weirder if I returned it freshly washed?Copy !req
136. So I've been unable to give it back...Copy !req
137. Ono-san... That doesn't explain
why you're wearing it, though.Copy !req
138. I want to be a ninjaCopy !req
139. Last night, a man was assaulted
on the street in 2-chomeCopy !req
140. in Nerima Ward's Koinu neighborhood.Copy !req
141. The victim was seriously injured,Copy !req
142. and the police are treating the
incident as randomly targeted.Copy !req
143. So tired...Copy !req
144. And now, our next story.Copy !req
145. That's close by.Copy !req
146. Late July 24thCopy !req
147. Not getting a lot of pressure
out of my stream tonight...Copy !req
148. Despite it being for a mission, he was
reluctant to grab another man's organ.Copy !req
149. Thus, he would think back to the oden
he had eaten on his first day in Japan,Copy !req
150. in order to better execute his task.Copy !req
151. By imagining the penis as a
fried tofu pouch wiener roll,Copy !req
152. he was able to dull his sense of revulsion...Copy !req
153. But he soon realized his mistake.Copy !req
154. The shaft that he had been imagining as a
piece of oden... was actually a piece of oden.Copy !req
155. He'll get behind me!Copy !req
156. Or not?!Copy !req
157. Not moving the way I'd like to...Copy !req
158. A ninja.Copy !req
159. I thought I would need three dicks, but...Copy !req
160. I've managed to make contact.Copy !req
161. What is this feeling of elation?Copy !req
162. Is it the joy of getting to fight a member
of the world's greatest league of killers?Copy !req
163. A karambit knife?
Some Russian assassin, then?Copy !req
164. For a moment... even
if it was just a moment...Copy !req
165. That thrill was stronger than
my dedication to my daughter!Copy !req
166. I need to be cautious of
those tricky ninja moves.Copy !req
167. Gotta think of him as moving
in 3D, not just on a plane.Copy !req
168. Om anichi...Copy !req
169. Marishiei...Copy !req
170. Sowaka.Copy !req
171. He vanished?!Copy !req
172. But just the torso?!Copy !req
173. That must be ninjutsu...Copy !req
174. A camouflage technique, maybe.Copy !req
175. My attacks amounted to nothing...Copy !req
176. Ninja live up to their reputation.Copy !req
177. The same day, 8 hours priorCopy !req
178. I'm not getting much from wearing this.Copy !req
179. Bras really are more fun to take
off someone else than wear yourself.Copy !req
180. Y'know, I've never had the desire
to steal one before...Copy !req
181. Yet, once Ono-san was gone, I had the
urge to grab this without asking him.Copy !req
182. Is it just their inherent charm?Copy !req
183. You seem bored.Copy !req
184. And you talk to yourself. A lot.Copy !req
185. You haven't spilled any classified
information like that, have you?Copy !req
186. Of course not!Copy !req
187. This is just... rehearsing
the kind of act to put onCopy !req
188. when I want to play a weirdo
that people want distance from.Copy !req
189. So that hoodie was inside the
package I gave you last time?Copy !req
190. Oh, right. Along with a high school uniform...Copy !req
191. Looks like it's blade-proof and bulletproof.Copy !req
192. MarishitenCopy !req
193. Marishiten 4.0?Copy !req
194. So... want anything to drink?Copy !req
195. I'm not in the mood to be served
drinks by someone dressed like you.Copy !req
196. I want an update on the progress of your job.Copy !req
197. Right.Copy !req
198. After opening the package I received,Copy !req
199. I discerned that the mission was
to infiltrate a high school...Copy !req
200. So I've been on standby at home until
the entrance exam, which is this Saturday.Copy !req
201. I see. That means you've got
three days of free time, then?Copy !req
202. Have you heard of the Nerima Slasher?Copy !req
203. Yeah, from the web.
Something about dicks getting cut off?Copy !req
204. Your job...Copy !req
205. is to dispose of him within three days.Copy !req
206. That career ninja froze for a
second when he saw the hoodie.Copy !req
207. There must be something more to it.Copy !req
208. Om anichi marishiei sowaka.Copy !req
209. Ridiculous. Is that the
latest Marishiten model?Copy !req
210. The Metro PD's leaks were accurate.Copy !req
211. It only conceals the upper body,
with the rest being clear as day.Copy !req
212. Say, Ozu...Copy !req
213. You ever seen a Marishisten 4.0?Copy !req
214. No. Don't they only go
to front-line operators?Copy !req
215. You'd think so.Copy !req
216. Sasama-san was hinting
about this on that day...Copy !req
217. September 9thCopy !req
218. July 25thCopy !req
219. Blue hoodie...Copy !req
220. A foreigner with blond hair and glasses...Copy !req
221. In a blue hoodie...Copy !req
222. Whatcha looking for?Copy !req
223. None of your business, Mr. Breast Milk!Copy !req
224. You been eating properly?Copy !req
225. Sure have. Steak, and pasta
Napolitan, and fried oysters...Copy !req
226. But the thing is, I'm on a diet.Copy !req
227. A diet?Copy !req
228. Little kids gotta eat, drink, and poop plenty!Copy !req
229. Here, have some breast milk!Copy !req
230. Ew, there it is! The breast milk!Copy !req
231. So a kid is looking for the foreigner...Copy !req
232. But on whose orders?Copy !req
233. Blue hoodie, blond with glasses...Copy !req
234. I found the foreigner!Copy !req
235. Now he'll let me borrow the drone!Copy !req
236. Are you a ninja?Copy !req
237. I'm not a ninja. I'm playing hide-and-seek.Copy !req
238. Hide and... seek?Copy !req
239. I found you, Mr. Foreigner, so you lose!Copy !req
240. I lost?Copy !req
241. Yes, I have indeed lost. I even used a gun...Copy !req
242. But I wasn't able to defeat
a ninja in urban combat.Copy !req
243. Could you please bring me
my matsugo no mizu?Copy !req
244. What the heck is that?
Some water from Matsuko?Copy !req
245. No, it's... a last drink of water before dying.Copy !req
246. Sure, here you go.Copy !req
247. I feel alive again.Copy !req
248. Dying and reviving! You sure keep busy.Copy !req
249. How old are you?Copy !req
250. I'm ten.Copy !req
251. Ten years old...Copy !req
252. My daughter was just born recently.Copy !req
253. I wanted to watch her grow up.Copy !req
254. But... I doubt I'll ever see her again.Copy !req
255. Why?Copy !req
256. Because I failed my mission.Copy !req
257. The ninja won't let me escape...Copy !req
258. And my employers won't forgive my failure.Copy !req
259. But why?! Come on! It'll be okay!Copy !req
260. Just leave it to me!Copy !req
261. Th-Thank you, but...
please don't shake the shrine.Copy !req
262. It's good to see you again, Sasama-san.Copy !req
263. Kato... Want some breast milk?Copy !req
264. No, thank you.Copy !req
265. Sasama-san...Copy !req
266. Why did you step down?Copy !req
267. The fighting in Timbuktu was nasty.Copy !req
268. Surrounded on all sides,
kilometers deep. Nowhere to run.Copy !req
269. Kato, you're one of the few
people I trust to watch my back.Copy !req
270. I thought having you guys at my back
would let me move forward,Copy !req
271. so I opened the doors in front of me.Copy !req
272. I kept doing that, and after every door,
there were only more doors. Never an exit.Copy !req
273. It was depressing, Kato.Copy !req
274. Have some breast milk. It's nutritious.Copy !req
275. Is this your way of criticizing
the organization?Copy !req
276. First Class Ninja Sasama.Copy !req
277. Former, actually.Copy !req
278. It's been seventy years
since the war ended,Copy !req
279. but the Prime Minister still hasn't made
use of his priority command over us.Copy !req
280. There are 290,000 police officers,
230,000 JSDF officers,Copy !req
281. and 200,000 of us.Copy !req
282. So how is it that over 90%
of our numbers are in Japan?Copy !req
283. Why is it that the top of the Chunin class
have been recalled from overseas duty,Copy !req
284. and stuck working on missions
inside our borders?Copy !req
285. Why is a militarized organization of our size
not under civilian control by the government?Copy !req
286. UN.Copy !req
287. Exactly. All of these questions
lead to the same thing.Copy !req
288. Under Ninja.Copy !req
289. Gone already.Copy !req
290. But things are starting to get dicey...Copy !req
291. Something wrong, Kato?Copy !req
292. No... It's nothing.Copy !req
293. Episode 3: "Boobs: So Close, Yet So Far"Copy !req
294. Ono is apparently the 70th most
common family name in Japan.Copy !req
295. That's so half-assed...
Makes me wanna say, "Oh, no!"Copy !req
296. Wow. That was annoying.
I think I'll tell her about the bra.Copy !req
297. Please, not that!Copy !req
298. See, that was when you
should've said, "Oh, no!"Copy !req
299. You're a funny guy.Copy !req