Under Ninja 1x1

1. Get ready. Go!

2. Clear!

3. Clear!

4. Clear!

5. All clear!

6. Here!

7. Rock 'n' roll!

8. Freeze! Hands up!

9. Shit, what the hell is this?

10. Is it a bomb?

11. Nah, it ain't a bomb. It's a sword.

12. Look carefully.

13. His thumb for pressing the phone's detonation button and his head

14. got slashed off by a sword.

15. Nobody else can do this but ninja.

16. Look what's on the corner of the desk.

17. It's an origami.

18. Ninja... I wanted to see them for real.

19. Are you kidding me? You wanna die?

20. Thank God and your mommy you didn't see them.

21. Mind the pipe.

22. It's surprisingly easy to trip on.

23. Uh-huh.

24. Looks like we're all here.

25. Careful. There's gum on the ground.

26. Episode 1: Throw a Rock, Hit a Ninja

27. Yeah.

28. It's been a long time, Kumogakure Kuro.

29. Then again, I guess I saw you at that run-down apartment the other day.

30. You've always been great at escaping and staying hidden.

31. Your burns from the lightning strike healed, Hibi?

32. I'm covering it up with makeup, man.

33. But the scars won't heal until I take you down.

34. Which I wouldn't mind doing right now.

35. Are you listening?

36. Hang on, my dick's kinda...

37. Oh, damn it. I stepped on the gum.

38. I noticed you staring.

39. What's your real name?

40. Wait, me?

41. I've got a bunch of Ninja Handles, but...

42. My real name's Suzuki.

43. Suzuki...

44. The second most common name in the country. You win.

45. Well, Hibi is, like, 1,500th, so he can't compete.

46. 1,500th... Pfft.

47. So, you guys ask me to come to this roof, which is super visible...

48. Are you stupid or something?

49. I mean, isn't the normal routine to gather everybody and have a cool-looking pose-off?

50. We're not in Jump, man.

51. A sniper could take us all out. Let's call it a day already.

52. Wait, really?

53. I don't read manga.

54. I'm not familiar, either.

55. I've always wanted to assemble the team like this, though...

56. I get what you're saying, Kuro-san,

57. but take a look over there.

58. The enemy's assembled, too.

59. So they're just as stupid?

60. Who're we dealing with here, Hachiya?

61. The Ministry of Health, Labour and Welfare's Rear Support Maneuvers Division 2.

62. They're called the Rear-Enders.

63. Hachiya...

64. Does anyone actually do ganguro-style fashion anymore?

65. This is bad. They're definitely coming after us.

66. Then I'll make the first move.

67. Seriously, quit acting like we're in Jump.

68. Who's the strongest one here?

69. Well, definitely not me.

70. Ultimately, results are all that matters with shinobi.

71. I beat the dick-slicing foreigner, so that makes me strongest.

72. If I take their strongest fighter out, this'll be over.

73. Hachiya, who's their strongest?

74. Going by their builds, probably her.

75. Nah. Usually you can count on the biggest to be number two.

76. Number one's gotta be her.

77. She'll have some kind of ultimate form, like Frieza,

78. that'll result in a simpler design.

79. You actually love Jump, don't you, Kuro?

80. You've got a laser pointer, don't you?

81. The school's got ears everywhere.

82. I've got one, but what do you need it for?

83. And yeah, I know.

84. Be ready for my signal. And good.

85. You'll want to hit her arm with the laser.

86. The real enemy is the director.

87. Yeah, that makes sense.

88. All right, I'm heading out.

89. Be careful.

90. Down we go...

91. How'd it even come to this?

92. September 9th

93. July 22nd

94. Seven out of ten.

95. Four out of ten.

96. Zero out of ten.

97. I'm so bored.

98. Sure seems like it.

99. What is this? Assassination practice?

100. N-No! Nothing that fancy.

101. I'm coming in.

102. Yeah, please, go right ahead!

103. It's so damn hot.

104. S-Sure is.

105. I didn't notice him at all...

106. He must be a career ninja.

107. You not gonna offer me a cold drink?

108. Sorry about that!

109. I was joking. I already saw there was no fridge.

110. I, uh, share a fridge with the person in the next room over...

111. Lately, so many non-career ninja have been failing to get any jobs

112. that there've been rumors of some making a break for it.

113. So, despite the extra work, we've been making the rounds to check on them.

114. S-Sir, I would never consider running away!

115. All I need is a job, and I'll work my butt off.

116. It's no skin off the organization's ass how many of you run off, really.

117. That's fair, yeah.

118. Regulations are what they are, though.

119. Remember that any attempt to escape will get you erased.

120. O-Of course, sir.

121. So...

122. I have a job for you.

123. Y-You do? What is it?

124. Oh, I have to figure that out myself, right? Okay.

125. I have to say, the famous Kumogakure clan has really fallen off.

126. What's this? Going for my eyes?

127. N-No, it's just...

128. The toothpick in the ceiling fell.

129. Oh, this?

130. I'd say that's a ten out of ten.

131. Holy shit...

132. Well, the box seems normal enough.

133. A blazer? Seems like part of a school uniform.

134. And it comes with a hoodie...

135. Why, though?

136. Huh...

137. I get it. Dress for the ninja jobs you want.

138. I guess I'm supposed to infiltrate this school.

139. Hello, this is Kodan High School.

140. That was a close one.

141. Just remembered that parents usually handle the transfer process.

142. I could claim to be the father, but that'd seem out of place with the time of day.

143. It'd make more sense for the mother to call.

144. Unless specified otherwise,

145. a Genin is supposed to move as soon as an order is received.

146. This lady's the only woman in this apartment complex...

147. and she's not around.

148. And is it really wise to leave your window wide open with your underwear out to dry?

149. Kawado-san? You in?

150. Hey, Kumogakure-kun, can you get me some toilet paper?

151. Uh, sure, okay.

152. Where do you keep it, again?

153. It's in the damn bathroom, obviously!

154. Couldn't you get it yourself, then?

155. I obviously can't! Why is this old dump laid out like this?!

156. And who the fuck leaves the toilet paper so far away?!

157. That piece-of-shit landlord! Does he not wipe his ass?!

158. Well, she's obviously hammered.

159. This is bullshit!

160. But considering I don't have anyone else I can ask...

161. You can come in, but if you look, you're dead.

162. I'll have you cast out of society!

163. Oh, so that's how it's gonna be, huh?

164. I am a shinobi.

165. And I make the impossible possible.

166. Here you go.

167. Quit looking!

168. Hello? Is this Kodan High School?

169. It's me! Y'know, me?

170. Come on, who else could it be? Now gimme whoever's in charge.

171. What for? C'mon, you know why!

172. It's because my son's going to enroll over there!

173. Huh? Well, she's had a little bit to drink, yes.

174. She's not normally this bad.

175. Yes. I'm fine.

176. Thanks for your help.

177. Kawado-san.

178. Masterful performance. I appreciate it.

179. You helped create a really convincing family background.

180. Oh, for real?

181. I played a stepmother a lot at the role-playing club , so...

182. Bravo.

183. Okay, now drinks are on you, like you promised!

184. Gonna need to borrow these, Ono-san.

185. Here. Beer.

186. Just the one, though.

187. How come your room is connected to your neighbor's?

188. Not sure. It's been like that since I moved in.

189. Thanks to that, I don't need my own refrigerator.

190. So, the entrance exam seems to have a minimum English score required...

191. How hard would that be for the second year of high school?

192. You're really gonna ask me, when I dropped out three days into high school?

193. Sorry.

194. I never attended class myself.

195. Come to think of it, where is your mom?

196. According to my father, she said "trouble's here" after I was born and then was gone.

197. Mother:

198. Trouble is here.

199. But my father misheard her,

200. and ended up signing the paperwork under the wrong impression.

201. Wait, that's why your name is Kuro?

202. Yep.

203. Not because you're the youngest out of nine?

204. I'm an only child.

205. I was actually best friends in middle school with a guy

206. whose name was "Miracle," written with the kanji for "kiseki."

207. But he died in a lightning strike.

208. It's actually a sad story...

209. Oh, my sides!

210. How old are you, anyway?!

211. Seventeen years old.

212. I-I could've sworn you were older!

213. When I sleep, it's usually on the upper shelf in the closet,

214. with Ono-san on the floor.

215. Like Doraemon?

216. Oh, here it comes, here it comes...

217. Watch this.

218. Nailed it!

219. Thanks for the drinks.

220. Oh, what a relief! I've got some work!

221. Time for a celebratory beer!

222. I could've sworn I just saw someone.

223. Hey! Kumogakure-kun, what the heck?

224. Did you drink all my beer?!

225. Huh? He's gone.

226. You're the one who drank all my precious beer, aren't you?!

227. I don't know what you're talking about.

228. I've got the evidence right here.

229. Ono

230. I wrote this! And I found the can in your room!

231. Ono is a name I used when I worked as a hostess.

232. Oh, come on! Don't lie!

233. I can go to the police about this, you realize?!

234. The cops? That works out perfect.

235. I can tell them how you stole my underwear.

236. I did no such thing!

237. Then where the hell are they?

238. I see.

239. So the upper brass want to deal with the MHLW's Rear-Enders.

240. And why wasn't I told about this?

241. Partly because you don't take apprentices.

242. What about Onikobe?

243. The guy's a serial killer.

244. He's too dangerous to let into the country.

245. More importantly, out of the four Genin we sent into Kodan High School,

246. Shinobin

247. three were taught personally by us Chunin.

248. But Kumogakure Kuro's got no record to speak of.

249. So I checked his file to see what he's done before...

250. And what the hell is this?

251. He spends his days lazing about a run-down apartment.

252. Sometimes he leeches beer off his neighbor and goes into hiding.

253. You sure this kid isn't just some NEET?

254. But it was Kumogakure Kuro who took that foreigner down.

255. September 9th

256. July 23rd

257. Well, what can I help you with?

258. Yes. Where do I find ninja?

259. Do you understand Japanese?

260. Yes.

261. Little bit.

262. Kanji is very hard.

263. I come to Japan to become ninja.

264. Yeah, okay, I see that.

265. We actually get a lot of foreigners asking about that.

266. So, where can I meet a ninja?

267. Well, one's right behind you.

268. Ninja! Where are you?

269. Is it you?

270. Or him?

271. Who is it?

272. Whoa, hey! Don't swing that sword around!

273. No.

274. This is an umbrella. I buy in Asakusa.

275. I noticed, but it's still dangerous, okay?

276. There's a Japanese saying...

277. "Throw a stone, and you'll hit a ninja."

278. I know the saying.

279. What does it mean?

280. It means there are so many ninja around, you can throw a rock at random and hit one.

281. That's what.

282. Where are they?!

283. Easy there. There's more to the saying.

284. "Throw a stone, and you'll hit a ninja...

285. but you won't know who it hit.

286. They're everywhere, and nobody knows."

287. That's how ninja are.

288. You won't find any ninja in Japan who actually look like ninja, the way you do.

289. Ninja...

290. After the war in the Pacific theater drew to a close,

291. upon arriving in Japan, the allied General Headquarters issued Special Order 1,

292. demanding the Imperial forces and Ministry of Home Affairs

293. provide the roster of affiliated ninja, along with their surrender.

294. Securing the Japanese ninja, who had been the most consistent threat

295. over the course of the war to the Allied powers,

296. was considered to be crucial in the US,

297. establishing their superpower position in the post-war status quo.

298. In fact, during his station in Japan, MacArthur had come under attack by ninja,

299. only for the situation to be resolved by a faction of pro-American ninja.

300. Ultimately, however, the majority of ninja organizations were dissolved by the GHQ.

301. But in the seven decades following the war,

302. the world entered an era of religious and ethnic wars, as well as terrorism.

303. The ninja, thought extinct,

304. would demonstrate their abilities on the front lines of these conflicts,

305. performing assassination and sabotage missions in absolute secrecy.

306. And these numerous ninja have infiltrated

307. the majority of Japan's public and private institutions,

308. where they monitor the people in secret.

309. Got a delivery here.

310. The ninja had survived.

311. They are rumored to number 200,000.

312. Ninja still exist in Japan to this day.

313. Episode 2: I Want to Be a Ninja

314. Kato's the tenth most common family name in Japan, you know.

315. Your point is?

316. I just barely win.

317. Since Kumogakure is within the top nine most common family names in Japan.

318. No, I really doubt that.