1. Oh, my God.Copy !req
2. That's hot.Copy !req
3. If my mom weren't
such a stupid bitch,
I'd do it, too.Copy !req
4. At least she's
good for one thing.Copy !req
5. No way.Copy !req
6. Oh, my God, I've been dying
for a ciggy all day.Copy !req
7. Me, too. I heard
Gwyneth Paltrow smokes,
like, two packs a day.Copy !req
8. Oh, my God.Copy !req
9. Hello, there, ladies.Copy !req
10. I saw that.Copy !req
11. I get it.Copy !req
12. You wanna be adults,
and that makes sense,Copy !req
13. two beautiful
young women.Copy !req
14. Ugh!
Sketchy much?Copy !req
15. No, I was just giving you
a compliment.Copy !req
16. Okay, perv,Copy !req
17. you're old enough
to be my dad.Copy !req
18. Eww.Copy !req
19. And you're old enough
to know the law.Copy !req
20. Now, give me the cigarettes,
and I'll forget about this.Copy !req
21. Or what?
You'll arrest us?Copy !req
22. I mean, you're just
some mall cop.Copy !req
23. No, I'm-I'm-I'm a member
of the Topeka P.D.Copy !req
24. Oh, ooh.Copy !req
25. Oh, my God.
I'm calling my mom.Copy !req
26. She's a lawyer.Copy !req
27. I thought she didn't
pass the bar.Copy !req
28. Shut up, Bianca.Copy !req
29. What the hell?Copy !req
30. I knew I should've
gotten a Razr.Copy !req
31. What the fuck?
What's going on?Copy !req
32. Free money!
Oh, my God.Copy !req
33. Oh, hell, yeah!Copy !req
34. That's for not doing
what you're told.Copy !req
35. Yeah, follow directions!Copy !req
36. I told you to
stay in the car?Copy !req
37. Strip 'em and zip 'em.Copy !req
38. I'm gonna take
your jacket off, okay?Copy !req
39. I'll give it back to you
when we're all done.Copy !req
40. And your gloves,
too, actually.Copy !req
41. Stu, you don't
have to explain.Copy !req
42. Just do it. Okay.Copy !req
43. Let me know
if it's too tight.Copy !req
44. Hands up, please.
Stop saying, "Please."Copy !req
45. Okay, sorry.
Hey, there.Copy !req
46. Oh, yeah, that wound
is still fresh, huh?Copy !req
47. Hmm...Copy !req
48. So, tell me, tough guy,
this your main squeeze,Copy !req
49. or is this some sort of
transactional arrangement?Copy !req
50. Send 'em down
the purple line.Copy !req
51. You got it, boss.Copy !req
52. Step down please.Copy !req
53. Oh, my God.
It's a DMV.Copy !req
54. A what?
You have been detainedCopy !req
55. for driving without
an open road license.Copy !req
56. You will now be
issued a license.Copy !req
57. If you decline,
you will walk the red line.Copy !req
58. If you are caught driving
without a license again,Copy !req
59. you will walk
the red line.Copy !req
60. What's down the red line?Copy !req
61. No, no, wait!Copy !req
62. Cool, screams.Copy !req
63. Take 'em away.Copy !req
64. Have fun, losers.Copy !req
65. Just to be clear,
I fucking hate you.Copy !req
66. Same.Copy !req
67. Open, you stupid trunk. Damn.Copy !req
68. Cocoa butter?Copy !req
69. Mike, you ever tried
cocoa butter?Copy !req
70. Tried it?
Ugh.Copy !req
71. Come on.
Just fuckin'--Copy !req
72. Huh.Copy !req
73. Come on.Copy !req
74. Hey, do-do you think
Agent Stone is kinda intense?Copy !req
75. I do not like it
when he smiles.Copy !req
76. Shepard already gave me
the lowdown on Stone, okay?Copy !req
77. He's a legit hero.Copy !req
78. Get this, when the fall
happened, right,Copy !req
79. this terrorist group took over
this man's hometown.Copy !req
80. This guy stepped up himselfCopy !req
81. and single handedly
annihilated everybodyCopy !req
82. with extreme prejudice.Copy !req
83. Extreme prejudice, cool.Copy !req
84. Fuck.Copy !req
85. Man, you need
to fix this shit.Copy !req
86. Yoo-hoo, Mikey-Mike.Copy !req
87. Mmm, what's up?Copy !req
88. I really love the way you
tased that twat like...Copy !req
89. Ahh!Copy !req
90. Uh-oh.
Speaking of twats...Copy !req
91. What you got there,
big guy?Copy !req
92. You know, you-you can
just call me Stu,Copy !req
93. and it's trash.Copy !req
94. Well, you know, uh,Copy !req
95. as Stone says,
one man's trash is a—Copy !req
96. Is what?Copy !req
97. Oh, Goddamn.Copy !req
98. Hey, how'd you know
that old ratty cop out there,Copy !req
99. Shepard or whatever?Copy !req
100. So, we're back to this now?Copy !req
101. Fine, I can play
the quiet game, too.Copy !req
102. Why won't you talk?Copy !req
103. Why won't you talk?
Why won't you talk?Copy !req
104. Why won't you talk?
Why do you talk so much?Copy !req
105. Look, this mouth has
gotten me out of
a lotta sticky situations.Copy !req
106. Eww.
Not like that.Copy !req
107. I mean, that happened, too.Copy !req
108. Look, out here, silence
can get you killed.Copy !req
109. Silence has kept me alive.
Oh, yeah?Copy !req
110. So, why'd you tell that cop
to eat your ass?Copy !req
111. Well, hello.Copy !req
112. It's a mystery how our paths
just keep crossing.Copy !req
113. My men sayCopy !req
114. that you have
a darling little voice.Copy !req
115. I'm excited to hear
what comes out of it.Copy !req
116. You need better
fucking friends, dude.Copy !req
117. Go ahead, drink up.Copy !req
118. Where we're sitting,Copy !req
119. there once flowed
a powerful river.Copy !req
120. Then they built
this architectural marvel.Copy !req
121. My father used to
bring me here for the tour
when I was a child.Copy !req
122. The tour was a bit dry.Copy !req
123. Ha!Copy !req
124. Just a little
dam humour for ya.Copy !req
125. But now, the roads
have all become wild rivers,Copy !req
126. so I'm building my own blockade,
a dam, if you will.Copy !req
127. It runs from
Southern ArizonaCopy !req
128. all the way
to the Canadian wastes,Copy !req
129. but the only way through...Copy !req
130. is here.Copy !req
131. Wow, cool story.Copy !req
132. There's been
a misunderstanding, all right?Copy !req
133. I'm not a criminal.Copy !req
134. I'm a milkman
on a delivery.Copy !req
135. Now I know you got
a beef with the girl.Copy !req
136. Pfft, that ain't got nothin'
to do with me, right?Copy !req
137. I don't give a fuck
about your delivery.Copy !req
138. What I do give
a fuck about,Copy !req
139. is how you would happen
to have this.Copy !req
140. I have spent decades building
outposts and checkpoints,Copy !req
141. but this map manages to avoid
damn near every one.Copy !req
142. I want the name of
your cartographer.Copy !req
143. My carta-ta-my what?Copy !req
144. Your mapmaker.Copy !req
145. Oh, no, man.
I found that on the side
of the road, dude.Copy !req
146. Come on.
You want it, take it.Copy !req
147. You really think
I'm that stupid?Copy !req
148. No. No, no, no, no, no,
not at all.Copy !req
149. I know how this world
works, officer.Copy !req
150. A little respect,
I appreciate that,Copy !req
151. but for the record,
it's Agent.Copy !req
152. Even better,
Agent, uh, Stone.Copy !req
153. I didn't know this map
avoided your routes.Copy !req
154. I did not know.
Now, I do know.Copy !req
155. So, how about I get
one of those licenses
I keep hearing so much about,Copy !req
156. and I go on my merry way?Copy !req
157. Whoa!Copy !req
158. Why'd you do that?Copy !req
159. Oh, that was unnecessary.Copy !req
160. Couldn't even
do it yourself.Copy !req
161. We'll revisit that attitude
in a few hours.Copy !req
162. Can't wait.Copy !req
163. Get the name
of the mapmaker.Copy !req
164. One leak could bring
the whole dam down.Copy !req
165. Come on, come on, hurry.Copy !req
166. Let's go.
Get in back.Copy !req
167. Don't matter
if it's legal.Copy !req
168. That's the last one.Copy !req
169. Hey, neighbour,
need some help?Copy !req
170. Thanks, Margie.Copy !req
171. How are you and Rick
holding up?Copy !req
172. Oh, it's scary
out there.Copy !req
173. Looters hit us
the other day.Copy !req
174. We went to the station
for help, but...Copy !req
175. The station burned down.
Yeah, bastards
torched it on Tuesday.Copy !req
176. It's every man for himself.Copy !req
177. Margie, what are you doing?Copy !req
178. Rick, get in here!Copy !req
179. Get the gun.Copy !req
180. Sorry, bro.Copy !req
181. Check the back
for his rifles.Copy !req
182. Check the cabinets, too!Copy !req
183. Ain't nothing
back here but Juggs!Copy !req
184. Of what?
Of-of water?Copy !req
185. No,
like the magazine,Copy !req
186. two Gs,
big boob porn.Copy !req
187. Of course, Officer Stone
is into big titties.Copy !req
188. Pig.Copy !req
189. I got 'em.
Let's jet.Copy !req
190. Why are you guys
doing this?Copy !req
191. Like you said,
every man for himself.Copy !req
192. We're getting out of this city
before it all goes up,Copy !req
193. and you've always been
kind of an asshole.Copy !req
194. Go.Copy !req
195. Later, Officer.Copy !req
196. While I give you points
for velocity and precision,Copy !req
197. spit washing his face was
a stupid fuckin' idea.Copy !req
198. I was this close to
talking us outta here.Copy !req
199. Why did you do that?Copy !req
200. Why didn't you tell him
who made your shitty map?Copy !req
201. That's none of your business.Copy !req
202. Oh, look at that.
You answer
your own questions.Copy !req
203. Yo, you're a pain
in my ass.Copy !req
204. Oh, blow me.
You wish.Copy !req
205. Pfft, not likely.Copy !req
206. Asshole.
Prick.Copy !req
207. Stone is really counting
on us to get this info, man.Copy !req
208. So, we can't fuck
this up, Stu.Copy !req
209. You say that like
I'm gonna fuck it up.Copy !req
210. All I'm saying is,
we gotta go hard, okay?Copy !req
211. Put your game face on.Copy !req
212. Now what's our motto?Copy !req
213. Big, swinging—Copy !req
214. We got big swinging dicks.
Swinging dicks.Copy !req
215. That's right, and we're
in motherfucking charge.Copy !req
216. Fuck you.
Fuck you.Copy !req
217. What the fuck is that?Copy !req
218. It's American sign language
for big balls.Copy !req
219. Y'all got saws and shit
in there to torture us?Copy !req
220. Tell us who made
that map,Copy !req
221. and you'll never need
to find out.Copy !req
222. Ooh, you do this a lot.Copy !req
223. Fill out these forms
in triplicate.Copy !req
224. That's scary.Copy !req
225. Oh, it will be.Copy !req
226. Yeah, it will be.Copy !req
227. So, what if I don't
know my DOB?Copy !req
228. It means date of birth.
Okay.Copy !req
229. So, what if I don't
know that either?Copy !req
230. Turn it on.Copy !req
231. You're lucky
I love this song!Copy !req
232. Not for long.Copy !req
233. Louder!Copy !req
234. Get writing!Copy !req
235. Why is the pencil so small?Copy !req
236. That's all we got!
Keep writing!Copy !req
237. N-P-X-T-Z.Copy !req
238. Now, you.Copy !req
239. F-U-C-K-U.Copy !req
240. Eyes look a little dry,
don't they?Copy !req
241. Aww, come on, man.
Ahh!Copy !req
242. No, no, no, no!
Oh, God!Copy !req
243. Sorry.
Oh, my God. Ugh!Copy !req
244. Give us the mapmaker
or meet yours.Copy !req
245. Wait, did you meanCopy !req
246. you wanna meet the mapmaker
or meet your maker?Copy !req
247. That would have been
a cool line,Copy !req
248. but you fucked
it up, player.Copy !req
249. No! No!Copy !req
250. That used to be
my jam back in the day.Copy !req
251. So, you have anything
you'd like to share?Copy !req
252. Yeah.Copy !req
253. I've known the mapmaker
for a long time.Copy !req
254. He's probably the only person
on this Earth
that I really trust.Copy !req
255. That's why I'll never
tell you his name.Copy !req
256. You can give me
1,000 more forms to fill out.Copy !req
257. They're fun.Copy !req
258. I guess we're just
gonna have to send you
down the red line then.Copy !req
259. And you,
you must be thrilled.Copy !req
260. You get to hug
your brother, again.Copy !req
261. To think that he took
a bullet for you,Copy !req
262. and you just threw it away.Copy !req
263. Shame.Copy !req
264. Take 'em away.Copy !req
265. I'll find you.Copy !req
266. Oh, yeah? Where?Copy !req
267. In the afterlife?Copy !req
268. Spooky.Copy !req
269. Let's go.Copy !req
270. Listen, if there's
more maps out there,
we could be compromised.Copy !req
271. Want me to head to HQ?
No.Copy !req
272. I'll handle it myself.Copy !req
273. Officer, are you in here?Copy !req
274. I saw your police car
out in the driveway.Copy !req
275. I cannot help you.Copy !req
276. These guys,
these-these terrorists,Copy !req
277. they threw me
out of my restaurant.Copy !req
278. Don't you get it?
The world is over.Copy !req
279. That's why we need you.Copy !req
280. Too bad.
I thought you were a cop.Copy !req
281. B67. That's B67.Copy !req
282. Guess I'm not gonna
finish this job.Copy !req
283. So, Stone
killed your brother, huh?Copy !req
284. You know, sometimes
it's okay to shut the fuck up.Copy !req
285. I was just—Copy !req
286. You know what?
Never mind, asshole.Copy !req
287. Stone...Copy !req
288. He made my brother—Copy !req
289. He made him shoot himself.Copy !req
290. That's messed up.Copy !req
291. Was he your only family?Copy !req
292. You know,
I had a family, too.Copy !req
293. What a stunning admission.Copy !req
294. If you let me finish...Copy !req
295. I was gonna say
I don't remember them.Copy !req
296. Like, my memory...Copy !req
297. is not that good.Copy !req
298. And no matter how hard I try,
I can't remember 'em.Copy !req
299. I can't see their faces.Copy !req
300. So, you were lucky
to have as much timeCopy !req
301. with your brother
as you did.Copy !req
302. 'Cause all I have
is a burnt photo and feelings.Copy !req
303. Wow.
That is supremely fucked.Copy !req
304. Yeah, I know.Copy !req
305. That's why this delivery job
for New San Francisco,Copy !req
306. it was supposed to help me
get it back, you know.Copy !req
307. I mean, not the family, but...Copy !req
308. the feeling,Copy !req
309. being a part of somethin'.Copy !req
310. B68. That's B68.Copy !req
311. Maybe we should try
and kill each other right here
for old times sakes.Copy !req
312. All right, bud,
you're up.Copy !req
313. Whoa, whoa, whoa. No.Copy !req
314. You, do it.Copy !req
315. I'll handle these
douche nozzles.
Mm-hmm.Copy !req
316. Hey, listen, Stu.
It's Stu, right?Copy !req
317. I mean, or you go by Stuart?Copy !req
318. Like, what is your—
What do you go by?Copy !req
319. Sh-shut up.Copy !req
320. My bad, big man.Copy !req
321. Big man?
Go fuck yourself!Copy !req
322. You don't think I know
what "big man" meansCopy !req
323. or, uh, "papa bear",
or "boss,"Copy !req
324. or "Plus Size Polly,"
or "Big-titted Timmy,"Copy !req
325. or, "Hey, you know what
who you look like?"Copy !req
326. Oh, let me guess,
fuckin' Bruce Vilanch.Copy !req
327. I get it.
I'm not petite, okay?Copy !req
328. So, don't patronise me.Copy !req
329. How would you like
to be called, uh, uh—Copy !req
330. How are you
so Goddamn good-lookin'?Copy !req
331. I mean, his breath
smells like shit.Copy !req
332. Why would you even say that?
Oh, God!Copy !req
333. I can smell it from here.Copy !req
334. Ugh!Copy !req
335. Oh, shit.Copy !req
336. Open it.Copy !req
337. Open it. Go on.Copy !req
338. Oh, it's so high!
It's so high!Copy !req
339. It's so high! Oh, God,
I fuckin' hate heights!Copy !req
340. Yeah, I hate
fuckin' hate dyin'!Copy !req
341. Hey, look,
we're not gonna jump, man.Copy !req
342. And I'm not negotiating.Copy !req
343. This is where
the red line ends.Copy !req
344. Look, Stu, your friend
has a cold heart,Copy !req
345. but I see you, Stu.Copy !req
346. You're not that guy.
You're a good guy.Copy !req
347. Either you jump...Copy !req
348. or you fall.Copy !req
349. Then go ahead
and fuckin' shoot us!Copy !req
350. We're not gonna do your job.Copy !req
351. Go ahead.
Fire away!Copy !req
352. Blow our fuckin' heads off!Copy !req
353. Stone played this game with me
and my brother, Stu.Copy !req
354. It's about power!Copy !req
355. You wanna feel that power?
You wanna be like Stone?Copy !req
356. Then go ahead.
Shoot us.Copy !req
357. But you have to
finish the job!Copy !req
358. Do it!
Come on, do it!Copy !req
359. Do it!Copy !req
360. If I don't kill you,
I'm dead.Copy !req
361. Not if you're in the car
speeding your ass
outta here with us, Stu.Copy !req
362. Fuck.Copy !req
363. You gonna get
a commemorative T-shirt?Copy !req
364. I thought you were
more of a snow globe guy.Copy !req
365. Do you ever stop talking?
No.Copy !req
366. Come on.Copy !req
367. Yeah, okay.Copy !req
368. Keys, keys, keys,
right here.Copy !req
369. Here we go.Copy !req
370. What do your keys look like?
Keys.Copy !req
371. Okay, how many ridges
are on them or teeth?Copy !req
372. They look like keys.Copy !req
373. I don't know.
It's-it's a key.Copy !req
374. Please be more specific.
I don't know keys.Copy !req
375. I'm not a locksmith
or a keymaster.Copy !req
376. Got it.Copy !req
377. Where'd your friend go?
Goddamn it, Quiet.Copy !req
378. Fuck it.
We gotta leave her.Copy !req
379. The terrorists
are in there?Copy !req
380. Yeah, and they're armed.Copy !req
381. I'll handle this.Copy !req
382. Shh, be quiet.Copy !req
383. Why?Copy !req
384. Hey, come on, honey.
Come over here.Copy !req
385. Hey, who's out there?Copy !req
386. Freeze in the name
of the law!Copy !req
387. Wait, you are the terrorists?Copy !req
388. Officer?
We had nowhere else to go.Copy !req
389. The grocery stores
were all looted.Copy !req
390. We only came here
to get food for our families,Copy !req
391. and then the owner
freaked out.Copy !req
392. There's enough snake-sketti
and coconut shrimp here
to feed hundreds of people.Copy !req
393. Look, lots of people
are struggling, right now,Copy !req
394. but hunger is not an excuse
to break the law.Copy !req
395. Leave now.Copy !req
396. Wait, I know you.Copy !req
397. I see him around here
all the time.Copy !req
398. This dude is
a fucking rent-a-cop.Copy !req
399. Uh, the mall
is part of my patrol.
I'm a real cop.Copy !req
400. You don't act like one.Copy !req
401. Tellin' folks
not to double park.Copy !req
402. Sweating little kids
stealing candy.Copy !req
403. That make you feel like
a big, powerful man?Copy !req
404. I need you to
vacate the premises, please.Copy !req
405. "Vacate the premises,
please."Copy !req
406. Look at you
trying to look tough.Copy !req
407. That uniform
barely has a crease in it.Copy !req
408. Shoes still shiny.Copy !req
409. How is a pathetic, worthless,
pencil dick of a mall cop—Copy !req
410. I told you!
I am a man of the law!Copy !req
411. Oh, no.Copy !req
412. You did this!
I was here to help!Copy !req
413. You had to resist!
This is your fault!Copy !req
414. You broke the law!Copy !req
415. Oh, shit! Sorry, boss.Copy !req
416. I thought you were
already headed to HQ.Copy !req
417. Where is Stone?Copy !req
418. I got two stones for you,
right here.Copy !req
419. Oh.Copy !req
420. Are we flirting now?Copy !req
421. More like pebbles.Copy !req
422. I remember what
your fuckhead boss saidCopy !req
423. about how if someone
tells your story,
it lives on forever.Copy !req
424. You'll be remembered
as the guy who died
with his dick in his hand.Copy !req
425. What the fuck
did you do, Stu?Copy !req
426. The prisoners are loose.Copy !req
427. HQ.Copy !req
428. Oh, Ev.
Oh, what did they do
to your beautiful body, baby?Copy !req
429. Fuck. Damn it!Copy !req
430. Come on, baby.Copy !req
431. Which one of you assholes
left the dome light on?Copy !req
432. Uh, who was
in the car last? Uh, uh—Copy !req
433. Get out and push!
Okay.Copy !req
434. Wasn't me.Copy !req
435. Go! I got it!Copy !req
436. Stu, you're my hero!Copy !req
437. We couldn't have did it
without you!
He's not here.Copy !req
438. I gotta fix that trunk.Copy !req
439. Should we go back and get him?
Are you shitting me?Copy !req
440. You're right.Copy !req
441. Jello, Stu.Copy !req
442. Mike, they overpowered me.Copy !req
443. If you ain't with us,
you're against us.Copy !req
444. Did they really
have to strip all your guns?Copy !req
445. That's just mean.Copy !req
446. They take everything?Copy !req
447. Yeah, no weapons,Copy !req
448. which means I'm gonna be
clinching my cheeksCopy !req
449. all the way
to New Chicago.Copy !req
450. Aww, man, they took
my cocoa butter.Copy !req
451. Now, I'm gonna be
ashy, too.Copy !req
452. Look, I need to
make up some time,Copy !req
453. so is there any way
I can drop youCopy !req
454. between here
and New Chicago?Copy !req
455. Yeah, there is.Copy !req
456. Growing up, my brother,
he used to tell meCopy !req
457. about how before the fall,Copy !req
458. people lived in cities
without walls, without fear.Copy !req
459. We were trying to get to
a place like that.Copy !req
460. Well, I'm sorry to
break the news to you, sister,Copy !req
461. but all those cities
are gone.Copy !req
462. No, not all of them.Copy !req
463. There's a sanctuary city
in the Midwest.Copy !req
464. That's where
we were headed before...Copy !req
465. things got fucked.Copy !req
466. Well, does this sanctuary city
have a name?Copy !req
467. HQ.Copy !req
468. Topeka.Copy !req