1. If they're not black and blue,
they're not gettin' through.Copy !req
2. Time to send in
the clown.Copy !req
3. Let's clear a path.Copy !req
4. Line me up.Copy !req
5. Fuck, that was cool!Copy !req
6. These cops can't
drive for shit! Ha!Copy !req
7. Uh, they're still alive!
I noticed! The gun is jammed.Copy !req
8. Take the wheel!Copy !req
9. Watch your left. Swerve!Copy !req
10. Stop backseat driving
and fix that fucking thing.Copy !req
11. I am!Copy !req
12. Fixed!Copy !req
13. Jell-O, Lawman!Copy !req
14. Why do you always
say "Jell-O" like that?Copy !req
15. It means "good-bye."Copy !req
16. What? No, it doesn't.Copy !req
17. It's a dessert, you moron.Copy !req
18. No, it's insider slang.Copy !req
19. A dude said it after
dinner before he—Copy !req
20. Oh, God damn it!Copy !req
21. Behind!Copy !req
22. Aw, I always knew you two
would work things out,Copy !req
23. and I love what you've
done with the car.Copy !req
24. Hey, thanks, man.Copy !req
25. Love what you've done
with your, uh, fire hair.Copy !req
26. Looks really good.Copy !req
27. Aw, I'm just trying
something new.Copy !req
28. Hey, I heard you got
a beef with Stone.Copy !req
29. Beef? I got
a whole butcher shop.Copy !req
30. Stone is mine. Ta!Copy !req
31. Bye!Copy !req
32. Screw you, man!Copy !req
33. Holy shit!Copy !req
34. It's-I wanna say,
uh, Blue?Copy !req
35. No, it begins with "S."
It's on the tip of my tongue.Copy !req
36. Stu! Stu!Copy !req
37. Stu!Copy !req
38. Haha, that's my guy!
Oh, my God. Oh, shit!Copy !req
39. Duck, duck, goose!Copy !req
40. Oh!Copy !req
41. You're welcome!Copy !req
42. Fuck!Copy !req
43. Come on, baby,
come on, baby.Copy !req
44. Follow me, follow me.Copy !req
45. Oh, no, too close.Copy !req
46. Here's your kiss
from mama, baby!Copy !req
47. No!Copy !req
48. Oh, shit!Copy !req
49. Now's your chance
to skedaddle.Copy !req
50. We can't leave you
to fight this.Copy !req
51. The fuck you can't.Copy !req
52. I'm tired of y'all.
You're bogarting my kills.Copy !req
53. Juggernaut to Twister,
we're flying in.Copy !req
54. Amber, you keep
laying down that fire.Copy !req
55. These chickens
are flying the coop.Copy !req
56. Thanks a lot.
This next round's on us.Copy !req
57. Shit. Would someone kill
this fucking truck?Copy !req
58. You got it, sir!Copy !req
59. Amber!Copy !req
60. Where do you
think you're going, Stone?Copy !req
61. You can't hide from me.Copy !req
62. Ice cream?
No, you scream.Copy !req
63. No! No! Amber!Copy !req
64. Why'd you do that?
They were on our side!Copy !req
65. There are no sides, Stubert!Copy !req
66. Everybody burns!Copy !req
67. Fuck this shit.Copy !req
68. Gotcha!Copy !req
69. Okay, Stubie,Copy !req
70. now's your chance
to show me your fangs.Copy !req
71. Pull the trigger,
and put your doggy down.Copy !req
72. Do it!Copy !req
73. Come on, do it!
Do it!Copy !req
74. Come on.Copy !req
75. Come on, Stewie.
You can do this.Copy !req
76. Holy shit!
Mike, let's go!Copy !req
77. You saved my ass!Copy !req
78. I-I think I skinned
my wang.Copy !req
79. Oh, don't talk
about your wang, man.Copy !req
80. I don't want
to look at it, man.Copy !req
81. Stubert!Copy !req
82. You'll abide
by the law, clown.Copy !req
83. Harold,
take the wheel.Copy !req
84. Get off my car!Copy !req
85. You... took... everything...
from... me!Copy !req
86. What the fuck?Copy !req
87. Hey! You're dripping
eye blood on the hoo—Copy !req
88. Oh, fuck it.Copy !req
89. Oh, shit!Copy !req
90. Did I—
Did I kill him?Copy !req
91. I don't know.
You want to turn around
and check for a pulse?Copy !req
92. Let's get
the hell outta here!Copy !req
93. Let's go!
Get outta here!
Let's go!Copy !req
94. Holy shit, I think
we're gonna make it.Copy !req
95. God, I'm so tired of running
from Officer Dick Cheese.Copy !req
96. Hang on.Copy !req
97. Thanks for the warning.Copy !req
98. Whoa!Copy !req
99. Oh, okay,
we can play chicken.Copy !req
100. Come on, fuckers!Copy !req
101. Now!Copy !req
102. Uh-oh.Copy !req
103. John?Copy !req
104. John! John!Copy !req
105. Get outta there!Copy !req
106. Well, oh, well.Copy !req
107. It's just you and me again.Copy !req
108. You know, when I was walking
a beat in Topeka,Copy !req
109. I used to see pieces
of trash just like you.Copy !req
110. They'd mock me,
call me names, spit on me,Copy !req
111. just because I was tryin'
to keep the streets safe.Copy !req
112. When the power grid blew,Copy !req
113. all of those same fuckheads
came to my doorCopy !req
114. wanting to be protected,Copy !req
115. wanting to be safe,Copy !req
116. but you know what
they really wanted?Copy !req
117. They just wanted
to be kept in line.Copy !req
118. What's so fuckin' funny?Copy !req
119. You talk so much.Copy !req
120. All this talk
about rules and laws,Copy !req
121. it's all bullshit.Copy !req
122. You're just a sad,
lonely man,Copy !req
123. and you think
you're in control.Copy !req
124. I am in control.Copy !req
125. No.Copy !req
126. You're just the one
holdin' the gun.Copy !req
127. Any last words?Copy !req
128. Knock, knock.Copy !req
129. Who's there?Copy !req
130. I'm gonna give you
a tough choice.Copy !req
131. You can die slowly, or...Copy !req
132. You can die fast.Copy !req
133. You have a good day now,Copy !req
134. motherfucker.Copy !req
135. Oh! Oh! Oh!Copy !req
136. Oh, I fucking thought
I lost you again.Copy !req
137. Oh, where's—Copy !req
138. I'm sorry.Copy !req
139. Those fuckers
are gonna pay.Copy !req
140. Hey, Bill, I'm back!
You miss me?Copy !req
141. Bill got promoted.Copy !req
142. You do not have clearance
to approach.Copy !req
143. Look, I know you're just
trying to do your job,Copy !req
144. but I have
a life-changing opportunity
that's going to expireCopy !req
145. if I don't deliver this package
in one minute and 17, 16, 15—Copy !req
146. You see where
I'm going with this?Copy !req
147. Yeah, that's not my problem.
Uh, it will beCopy !req
148. if Raven hears her delivery
expired right outside her gate.Copy !req
149. Holy shit.Copy !req
150. Tell Raven
the Milkman made it.Copy !req
151. Let's go.Copy !req
152. Open the gate!Copy !req
153. You didn't tell me
she was so hot.Copy !req
154. Someone's had
a busy ten days.Copy !req
155. And I'm not
the only one.Copy !req
156. Hey, congratulations
on the promotion, Bill!Copy !req
157. She treatin' you well?
Good pay? Good benefits?Copy !req
158. Just give her
the package, John.Copy !req
159. Wow. Fuck you, Bill.Copy !req
160. How do we know
she's actually going to
pay up?Copy !req
161. This is how Milkman
deliveries work.Copy !req
162. Only person who's making it
weird right now is you.Copy !req
163. Congratulations, John.Copy !req
164. Welcome to New San Francisco.Copy !req
165. Hey, hey, whoa!
Hold on, man.Copy !req
166. Bill, calm down.
She's with me.Copy !req
167. John, she's not
allowed to enter.Copy !req
168. Well, you wouldn't have it
if it wasn't for her.Copy !req
169. We had a deal, John,Copy !req
170. you and me.Copy !req
171. And she's with me.
That's all
you need to know.Copy !req
172. If she can't go in, fine.
I'm not goin' in either.Copy !req
173. John, don't do this.Copy !req
174. You wanted this
your whole life, right?Copy !req
175. Yeah, but—Copy !req
176. Then you need to go.Copy !req
177. What are you doin'?Copy !req
178. I'm not gonna be the reason
you don't go inside,Copy !req
179. so you're gonna go in,
and you're gonna be happy.Copy !req
180. You got it?Copy !req
181. Don't, John.Copy !req
182. I mean it.Copy !req
183. Quiet—Copy !req
184. Aah!Copy !req
185. He needs medical attention.
Get him inside.Copy !req
186. Go on.Copy !req
187. What? Quiet, no!
Quiet!Copy !req
188. Quiet!Copy !req
189. Jell-O, John.Copy !req
190. Stop, now!Copy !req
191. Here. John usually
makes this run,Copy !req
192. but since he's retired...Copy !req
193. What the hell am I
supposed to do with this?Copy !req
194. Deliver it.
We need a new Milkman.Copy !req
195. Hey! Hey! Hey!Copy !req
196. That was for San Diego.Copy !req
197. Fuck San Diego.Copy !req
198. The Milkman
has stabilised.Copy !req
199. Doc said he'll be fine,
but the girl—Copy !req
200. Couldn't you have
let her in?Copy !req
201. She complicates things.Copy !req
202. Imagine
what John went through,Copy !req
203. driving halfway
across the country,Copy !req
204. all to deliver...Copy !req
205. this.Copy !req
206. Yeah.Copy !req
207. What do you think?Copy !req
208. It's fine.
I ordered pistachio.Copy !req
209. Of course, they fucked up
my order.Copy !req
210. I meant about John. Oh.Copy !req
211. He passed his test,
and Calypso kept
his end of the bargain.Copy !req
212. Mostly. Ugh!Copy !req
213. Marshmallow. Bwah!Copy !req
214. So it's time that
we start prepping him
for his new position?Copy !req
215. Not yet,
let him acclimate,Copy !req
216. get a feel for
the good life inside.Copy !req
217. Then we'll talk
about what comes next.Copy !req
218. That's a nice dick.Copy !req
219. All right, jerk-off,
it's just me and you.Copy !req
220. Now are we gonna work it
out today, or not.Copy !req
221. Come on!Copy !req
222. Yagh!Copy !req
223. Oh, fuck!Copy !req
224. This—Copy !req
225. Fuck you, fuckin'...Copy !req
226. Come on.Copy !req
227. Why do you make me
do this to you?Copy !req
228. Don't be such
a fuckin' asshole!Copy !req
229. Fuckin' bike.Copy !req
230. What?Copy !req
231. Good morning, John. Hi.Copy !req
232. Hey, what's up, John?Copy !req
233. Hey, John.Copy !req
234. Good morning, John.Copy !req
235. Oh my God.
I'm telling ya.Copy !req
236. Look, the weirdest thing
I've ever eaten was an owl.Copy !req
237. No shit?
Yeah!Copy !req
238. Why?Copy !req
239. I got the midnight munchies.Copy !req
240. You know what
I'm talkin' about!Copy !req
241. You're such a badass, John.Copy !req
242. Oh, god, you must have,
like, killed so many people.Copy !req
243. Uh, yeah, yeah.
A few, yeah.Copy !req
244. Yeah.
Mmm.Copy !req
245. Yeah.Copy !req
246. But, like how many?Copy !req
247. Aw, I mean,
I don't keep count, dude.Copy !req
248. He doesn't keep count!Copy !req
249. Okay, like I said,
you're a badass.Copy !req
250. Oh! You gotta tell 'em
about the clown!Copy !req
251. This is so crazy.
I think he had, like,
bondage stuff, I don't know.Copy !req
252. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It was a lot of
leather and sweat.Copy !req
253. This guy!Copy !req
254. Hi.Copy !req
255. Hi.Copy !req
256. Diane, right?Copy !req
257. Yeah. Come in.Copy !req
258. It's okay.
I won't bite.Copy !req
259. So, uh, I've never
been set up on
a thing like this before.Copy !req
260. Oh.Copy !req
261. But Chester told me
you're a guard with him.Copy !req
262. You don't remember me?Copy !req
263. "You do not have clearance
to approach."Copy !req
264. Oh, shit!
Bill's replacement!Copy !req
265. Mm-hmm.
I didn't even recognise you.Copy !req
266. Well, must be the hair.Copy !req
267. I didn't even
see past the gun.Copy !req
268. Let me get you a drink.Copy !req
269. Do you like wine?Copy !req
270. Uh, toilet or sink?Copy !req
271. How about red?Copy !req
272. Yeah?Copy !req
273. Okay.
Okay.Copy !req
274. Oh, that's the pizza.Copy !req
275. Would you mind
grabbing that?Copy !req
276. Sure.Copy !req
277. Hey, got a cheese pizza
for you.Copy !req
278. Wow.Copy !req
279. I've never been on
the other side of a delivery.Copy !req
280. I'm supposed to
give you something, right?Copy !req
281. Here you go.Copy !req
282. Bullets.Copy !req
283. Would you prefer gasoline?Copy !req
284. There is cash
right there, dude.Copy !req
285. I hope that makes
a warm fire for you.Copy !req
286. And hey, thanks.Copy !req
287. I really appreciate
what you went through
to get this here.Copy !req
288. It's not a big deal, man.Copy !req
289. So this is pizza.Copy !req
290. You've never had pizza?Copy !req
291. Oh, my gosh,
you've never had pizza?Copy !req
292. No.Copy !req
293. I'm honoured to be here
for your first time.Copy !req
294. Thanks.Copy !req
295. Good?Copy !req
296. Uh-huh.Copy !req
297. I know you're out there.Copy !req
298. You don't know
who you're messin' with.Copy !req
299. If you're gonna kill me,
do it quick,
you goddamn vulture.Copy !req
300. I'm not a vulture,
you butt-munch.Copy !req
301. And I don't
want to kill you.Copy !req
302. Your delivery.Copy !req
303. I want half.Copy !req
304. I heard of you.Copy !req
305. You're the one
who's been robbin' milkmen?Copy !req
306. I've scratched my taint
with twigs bigger than you.Copy !req
307. You ain't gettin' shit!Copy !req
308. Next one I throw,
you'll be
drivin' with your feet.Copy !req
309. So, half!Copy !req
310. Fine! It's in the back.Copy !req
311. I hope you choke on it!Copy !req
312. It's not for me,
you jag-off.Copy !req
313. The insiders have been
runnin' this shit
for far too long.Copy !req
314. It's time somebody
shared the wealth.Copy !req
315. So tell me,Copy !req
316. how is John adjusting?Copy !req
317. He's doin' greet.Copy !req
318. Uh, we all get along.
I-I mean I think
me and the guysCopy !req
319. would be friends with him
whether or not we had to,
right, fellas?Copy !req
320. Yeah.
Oh, yeah.Copy !req
321. Mm-hmm.Copy !req
322. And Diane?Copy !req
323. She-she set him up well.Copy !req
324. She's pushing
for a second date.Copy !req
325. Good.Copy !req
326. Make sure that happens.Copy !req
327. I want John
to be happy.Copy !req
328. And because I want it,
you should want that, too.Copy !req
329. John is happy.Copy !req
330. I mean, he'll—
He'll be ready to drive
for you any day now.Copy !req
331. Raven.Copy !req
332. Just got word that John Doe's
only two blocks away.Copy !req
333. Right? Yeah!Copy !req
334. John! You wanna
join us for a beer?Copy !req
335. No thanks, Chester.Copy !req
336. I'm leavin'.Copy !req
337. You really wanna leave
after I gave you
everything I promised?Copy !req
338. I even heard things
are going
swimmingly with Diane.Copy !req
339. How do you know
about Diane?Copy !req
340. It's my job
to know everything.Copy !req
341. The only thing I don't knowCopy !req
342. is what else I could
possibly give you.Copy !req
343. Something
you can't give me.Copy !req
344. The girl?Copy !req
345. John, you're seriously gonna
give all of this upCopy !req
346. for some chick you knew
for 10 days?Copy !req
347. I've had colds
last longer.Copy !req
348. Her name's Quiet.Copy !req
349. No way
that's her real name.Copy !req
350. You do know her real name,
don't you?Copy !req
351. Also, didn't she shoot you?Copy !req
352. Yeah, that happened.Copy !req
353. John, that doesn't
sound healthy.Copy !req
354. Okay, look, if that's
really how you feel,Copy !req
355. I will escort you
to the gate myself.Copy !req
356. We just have to make
one quick stop first.Copy !req
357. Come on.Copy !req
358. What the fuck is
wrong with you now?Copy !req
359. It finally happened.Copy !req
360. I'm talking to a car.Copy !req
361. I know something
didn't die in you.Copy !req
362. Last time that happened,
you smelled like
burnt baby raccoon.Copy !req
363. Thank you, by the way.
That was delicious.Copy !req
364. Maybe something shiftedCopy !req
365. when I slammed into that
Milkman the other week?Copy !req
366. Oh, my God, now
I'm fucking asking the car
a God damn question.Copy !req
367. That's great.
That's really great.Copy !req
368. That's super healthy.Copy !req
369. Why won't you work,
you rusted piece of shit?Copy !req
370. I'm very sorry.Copy !req
371. Um, that was very rude.Copy !req
372. You did not deserve that.
It's not your fault
that you're rusted.Copy !req
373. It's just, we've been
together a month,Copy !req
374. and I have no clue
how you work.Copy !req
375. Oil goes in your mouth,
and fuel goes up your butt.Copy !req
376. Everything in the middle
makes no sense.Copy !req
377. I guess I just
keep trying pieces
until I find one that—Copy !req
378. You just try different pieces
'til you find the one that fits.Copy !req
379. Fits.Copy !req
380. You better not be
fuckin' with me.Copy !req
381. Aah! Holy shit!
I did it!Copy !req
382. I fucking did it!Copy !req
383. What the fuck did I do?Copy !req
384. Where are you taking me?Copy !req
385. Here.Copy !req
386. Nice house.Copy !req
387. I'm glad you think so.Copy !req
388. It's yours.Copy !req
389. You think
a residential upgrade
is gonna keep me here?Copy !req
390. Pass.
No, John.Copy !req
391. This is yours.Copy !req
392. This is where you grew up.Copy !req
393. Wait.Copy !req
394. I lived here?Copy !req
395. You've got mail.Copy !req
396. When I first heard
of John Doe the Milkman,
I did a little digging,Copy !req
397. and when I learned
that you had roots here,Copy !req
398. I dug some more.Copy !req
399. I'm sure you'll have
lots of questions,Copy !req
400. and if you stay,
you'll get answers.Copy !req
401. I don't know what name
I was born with
or who I am really.Copy !req
402. I'm so proud of you.Copy !req
403. Merry Christmas!Copy !req
404. May I have this dance?Copy !req
405. Son, you'll give me
a smile, right?Copy !req
406. Yes.Copy !req
407. Drive!Copy !req
408. It's just like
I promised you.Copy !req
409. I brought you home.Copy !req
410. This isn't my home.Copy !req
411. It's his,Copy !req
412. whatever his name is.Copy !req
413. This isn't me anymore.Copy !req
414. I found my home
out there with Quiet.Copy !req
415. Hmm.Copy !req
416. Wow, I never took you
for such a romantic,Copy !req
417. but if that's
your decision...Copy !req
418. This isn't normally
how I like to do things,Copy !req
419. but, hey, I'm flexible.Copy !req
420. I have a job for you.Copy !req
421. I'm not gonna be
your Milkman.Copy !req
422. Milkman?Copy !req
423. No, those days
for you are long gone,Copy !req
424. but you're still a driver.Copy !req
425. Best I've ever seen.Copy !req
426. You proved that to me when
you made my little run.Copy !req
427. See, you passed
the test, John,Copy !req
428. and now I need your skills.Copy !req
429. There's gonna be
a tournament,Copy !req
430. the first of its kindCopy !req
431. where the best drivers
from all across the country,Copy !req
432. from all walks of life,
are gonna be invited to compete.Copy !req
433. See, the tournament
only has one rule.Copy !req
434. Survive.Copy !req
435. And you better believe who
you face won't play fair.Copy !req
436. This is where
you come in, John.Copy !req
437. You are my horse,
and I need you to win,Copy !req
438. because Calypso is offering
quite a prize.Copy !req
439. The winner gets
their heart's desire,Copy !req
440. their greatest wish
come true.Copy !req
441. You're gonna
help me win, John,Copy !req
442. and you're gonna do it
by getting behind the wheelCopy !req
443. and turning every car
and contestant
that crosses your pathCopy !req
444. into nothing but a flaming pile
of twisted metal.Copy !req
445. You will drive, John Doe,Copy !req
446. and you will win.Copy !req
447. Okay.Copy !req
448. Where to next?Copy !req
449. Hey, girl.Copy !req
450. I've been dying
to talk to you.Copy !req
451. I heard you know
my brother.Copy !req
452. He goes by John.Copy !req
453. I told you we'd find it,
and we did.Copy !req
454. Shangri-fuckin'-la.Copy !req
455. We got everything
we need.Copy !req
456. Ladies, liquor,
and long dogs.Copy !req
457. This is Strawberry.Copy !req
458. She's a doctor
and a lawyer.Copy !req
459. I met her in a strip club.Copy !req
460. Okay. Okay.
This is Cleopatra.Copy !req
461. She, uh, specialises
in French cuisine.Copy !req
462. Ooh-la-la.
She, uh,Copy !req
463. is also a stripper.Copy !req
464. I'm thinkin' about
takin' a swim.Copy !req
465. What do you guys think?Copy !req
466. No, she'll sink
right to the bottom.Copy !req
467. I've tried before.Copy !req
468. Good evening.Copy !req
469. Holy shit!Copy !req
470. Actually,
I have a better idea.Copy !req
471. Oh, no! Mike! Aah!Copy !req