TV Funhouse 1x5

Directed by Sean Lattrell • Bill Berner • John Schnall

David Juskow as Larry (voice) • Tommy Blacha as Hank (voice)

The Anipals compare New Year's resolutions: Hojo wants to learn the saxophone, Chickie hangs out with his brother with Tourette syndrome, and Fogey must resist eating his own poop. Meanwhile, Doug dresses as a caveman and builds a dinosaur skeleton out of baby back ribs, and Rocky the Fish takes a group of kids to visit a cookie factory.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

Note: you must use specific languages with their specific pages/discord channels.

1. HEY EVERYBODY.

2. OOGA BOOGA BOOGA BOOGA CAVEMAN DAY.

3. THAT'S CAVEMAN TALK FOR,

4. WELCOME TO CAVEMAN DAY.

5. WE'RE GONNA HAVE ALL KINDS OF PREHISTORIC STUFF TODAY, HERE AT THE FUNHOUSE.

6. BUT FIRST, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO PUT ON YOUR CAVEMAN OUTFIT.

7. NOW, CAVEMEN USED TO HAVE TO KILL ANIMALS

8. TO MAKE THEIR CAVEMAN DAY OUTFITS.

9. BUT WE DON'T HAVE TO DO THAT TODAY...

10. DO WE GUYS?

11. - NO WAY... ALIVE AND KICKING. - NOPE, NO PROBLEM DOUG.

12. WE'RE NOT DEAD.

13. THANKS TO THE SCOTCH TAPE AND HOT GLUE.

14. YUP, NO KILLING NECESSARY.

15. NOPE, NO LYING.

16. GREAT!

17. WELL, I CAN'T BE THE ONLY ONE DRESSED UP IN AN ALIVE COAT.

18. LET'S DRESS UP OUR FRIENDS, THE ANIPALS.

19. OOGA BOOGA BOO THERE ANIPALS!

20. UGH, DOUG.

21. NOT RIGHT NOW.

22. HUH?

23. MY HEAD IS KILLING ME.

24. THE HOLIDAYS... THEY WERE NOT KIND.

25. WHY DON'T YOU TRY ON YOUR SABER TEETH?

26. NO DOUG. NOTHING GOES IN THE MOUTH.

27. NOTHING GOES IN OR OUT OF ANY OF MY HOLES TILL NEXT YEAR.

28. WHERE YA GOING?

29. GIVE THEM A BREAK.

30. THEY'RE GETTING A SHVITZ.

31. YEAH.

32. NOTHING LIKE A LITTLE DETOXI-FICACION.

33. ONCE AGAIN,

34. MY ASS HAS BEEN KICKED BY THE HOLIEST OF HOLIDAYS...

35. YEAH, THANKS BABY JESUS.

36. AND THANKS BABY NEW YEAR.

37. I HATE FUCKING BABY.

38. BOY, JUST THINK HOW MUCH BOOZE AND JUNK

39. WE COULD SWEAT OUT OF OUR SYSTEM.

40. IF ONLY WE COULD SWEAT.

41. HEY GUYS.

42. SORRY I'M LATE.

43. WHAT? WHAT'S THE MATTER?

44. - PUT A TOWEL ON! - OH JESUS, WHERE'S YOUR TOWEL?

45. HEY... EASY.

46. HEY, I DON'T NEED TO SEE YOUR FAT, NAKED SHLONG... ALRIGHT?

47. ALRIGHT! LOOK, THAT'S HOW I LIKE TO GO.

48. DON'T LISTEN TO THEM, MY FRIEND.

49. THEY ARE JUST JEALOUS OF YOUR MASSIVE GIRTH.

50. THAT'S DISGUSTING!

51. REPULSIVE!

52. I'M NOT TALKING TO YOU.

53. YEAH...

54. SO ARE YOU GUYS GONNA MAKE ANY NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS?

55. UH, YEAH. I'M GONNA SPEND MORE TIME WITH MY BROTHER, VIC.

56. SERIOUSLY? THE ONE WITH TURRETS?

57. YEAH.

58. COCK-A-DOODLE- TITTY FUCK!

59. WHO ARE YOU KIDDING? YOU'RE NOT GONNA DO IT.

60. I AM! HE'S MY BROTHER.

61. I'M NOT GONNA BE ASHAMED.

62. COCK-A-DOODLE- SHIT STAINS!

63. COCK-A-DOODLE- SUCK MY DICK!

64. COCK-A-DOODLE- MOTHERFUCKING-DOO!

65. YOU GUYS DON'T KNOW CRAP!

66. HE'S MY BROTHER AND I'M GONNA—

67. FOR CHRIST'S SAKE, FOGEY, LOOK OUT! JESUS!

68. WHAT? WHAT?

69. WHAT ABOUT YOU HOJO? ANY RESOLUTIONS?

70. THIS YEAR, I'M GONNA LEARN A MUSICAL INSTRUMENT.

71. - OKAY. SEE YA. - BYE.

72. IT'S GONNA BE GREAT.

73. MMM.

74. THESE ARE DELICIOUS.

75. RIGHT COAT?

76. YEA! YUMMY, YUMMY!

77. YA KNOW, NOWADAYS,

78. WE JUST THROW THESE BONES AWAY,

79. BUT IN CAVEMEN DAYS THEY USED TO USE THE BONES TO MAKE TOOLS.

80. LIKE THIS BONE HERE HAS A SHARP EDGE,

81. SO IT MAY HAVE BEEN USED AS A CAN OPENER.

82. HMM, SOMETIMES THE BEST WAYS ARE THE OLD WAYS.

83. NOW, THE SMARTER CAVEMEN,

84. THE ONE THAT STAYED IN CAVE SCHOOL,

85. WELL THEY WOULD MAKE TOOLS LIKE THIS ONE HERE...

86. THIS WEED-WACKER.

87. WOW! AWESOME! COOL!

88. THEY WOULD CLEAR AWAY THE WEEDS

89. SO THAT THEY COULD FIND MORE ROCKS.

90. CAVEMEN LOVE ROCKS.

91. NOW, YOU WATCH THIS CARTOON,

92. WHILE I USE THIS CAVEMAN ELECTRIC TOOTHBRUSH.

93. GEE MOM, I SURE AM BORED.

94. MITCHELL, WHY DON'T YOU GO OUT AND PLAY WITH SETH GOLDSTEIN?

95. YOU MEAN, JEW JEW JEW?

96. MITCHELL.

97. THOSE PEOPLE ARE WORSE THAN MEXICANS.

98. DID I HEAR MEXICAN?

99. ARE WE HAVING TACOS FOR DINNER?

100. NO SWEETHEART. WE'RE HAVING SPAGHETTI.

101. WHOPS.

102. NOW, NOW... I THOUGHT YOU LIKED SPAGHETTI?

103. HEY MOM, YOU KNOW WHAT I REALLY LIKE?

104. HAM.

105. DO WE HAVE ANY OF THAT HAM LEFTOVER?

106. IN THE REFRIGERATOR, DEAR.

107. I'VE GOT A PLAN TO DRIVE THOSE JEWS NUTS.

108. GET YOUR HAM! GET YOUR FREE HAM HERE!

109. MITCHELL MY BOY, WHAT'S THIS ALL ABOUT?

110. STEP RIGHT UP, MR. GOLDSTEIN.

111. YOU CAN'T PASS UP A DEAL LIKE THIS.

112. DON'T IT SMELL GOOD UNDER THAT BIG OL' HOOKED SHNOZ?

113. OH, YOU LITTLE RASCAL, MITCHELL.

114. ALWAYS INTO SOME SORT OF—

115. BULLS-EYE!

116. WHERE ARE ALL MY TOOLS?

117. AND WOOD? AND PAINT?

118. OH, MITCHELL TOOK THEM.

119. HE'S IN FRONT OF THE GOLDSTEIN'S HOUSE.

120. WHAT COULD HE BE BUILDING OUTSIDE OF THE GOLDSTEIN'S HOUSE

121. WITH MY WOOD AND—

122. WHY THAT LITTLE RACIST!

123. HE'S TERRORIZING THOSE JEWS!

124. OH GEORGE... BOYS WILL BE BOYS.

125. SUCH A LITTLE DICKENS.

126. FREE HAM.

127. STAY HERE WHILE I GO GET MY MINOLTA.

128. SURE THING MOISHA.

129. MOISHA...

130. MITCHELL!

131. HOWDY, MR. WILTON!

132. WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?

133. DRIVING JEWS NUTS.

134. OH NO YOU DON'T!

135. OW!

136. OH!

137. WAIT'LL I GET MY HANDS ON YOU! LITTLE BRAT!

138. POOR MR. WILTON.

139. OY VEY! MINOLTA, DO YOUR STUFF!

140. HONESTLY GEORGE...

141. CELEBRATING THE EXTERMINATION OF AN ENTIRE PEOPLE.

142. AT YOUR AGE!

143. THAT'S NOT HOW IT HAPPENED.

144. HE'S RIGHT, MRS. WILTON.

145. THEY DO CONTROL THE MEDIA.

146. OH.

147. THIRTY-SEVEN... THIRTY-EIGHT... THIRTY-NINE... FORTY—

148. UGH! ALRIGHT, WE'VE SEEN IT.

149. WE DON'T NEED TO SEE IT BOUNCE.

150. ALRIGHT. ALRIGHT.

151. JACK OFF.

152. UM... DID YOU MAKE A RESOLUTION, FOGEY?

153. UH, THIS YEAR, I'M GOING TO STOP EATING MY OWN POOP.

154. YEAH RIGHT.

155. YOU SAY THAT EVERY YEAR.

156. I'M TELLING YOU!

157. HOW'S THAT DIET GOING FOGEY?

158. OH, TERRIFIC.

159. I DON'T MISS POOP AT ALL.

160. CHECK IT OUT!

161. HEY! THIS DOESN'T TASTE LIKE POOP AT ALL.

162. GEEZ... THIS TASTES LIKE SHIT!

163. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

164. IT TASTES GREAT, I TELL YOU!

165. JUST LIKE POOP.

166. CREAMY... DELICIOUS POOP.

167. HEY! FOGEY!

168. YOU MISS ME, DON'T YOU?

169. COME ON... TAKE ME BABY.

170. WELL, THE CAVE COAT FELL ASLEEP.

171. AND THE ANIPALS ARE STILL IN DETOX.

172. BUT LOOK WHO'S JOINED US...

173. OUR OLD PAL ROCKY.

174. HEY DOUGY, WHAT'S THE BIG DAY?

175. HEY ROCKY.

176. IT'S CAVEMAN DAY.

177. TERRIFIC.

178. - CAVEMAN. - MMHMM.

179. WE'RE GONNA GO BACK...

180. WE'RE GONNA GO BACK...

181. - THANKS. - MMHMM.

182. WE'RE GONNA GO BACK IN TIME.

183. OOGA BOOGA.

184. RIGHT.

185. WELL, WE'RE KINDA TAKING A BREAK RIGHT NOW.

186. COOL.

187. SO, I UNDERSTAND YOU WENT ON A TRIP.

188. YOU BETCHA.

189. I GOT SOMETHING—

190. I GOT SOMETHING TO—

191. I GOT SOMETHING TO SHOW YOU.

192. OH.

193. I TO— I TOOK—

194. I TOOK SOME KIDS TO A COOKIE FACTORY.

195. OH! YOU WENT ON A TRIP?

196. YEAH. OOGA BOOGA.

197. LET'S TAKE A LOOK.

198. OK GANG.

199. HERE'S WHILE THE COOKIE DOUGH IS ROLLED UP BEFORE IT'S MADE INTO A COOKIE.

200. DO YOU KNOW THAT THIS BAKERY

201. MAKES OVER 450 POUNDS OF COOKIE DOUGH A DAY?

202. THAT'S THE EQUIVALENT OF 24...

203. OF 24...

204. ADULT CATS.

205. NOW EVERYBODY, THIS COOKIE DOUGH IS ROLLED UP,

206. IT'S NOT COOKED YET, BUT IT'S DELICIOUS.

207. HELP YOURSELVES.

208. GO AHEAD.

209. TRY IT. TAKE ALL YOU WANT.

210. THAT'S GOOD STUFF.

211. YOU GUYS LIKE COOKIE DOUGH?

212. YEAH.

213. YEAH... TONY HERE MAKES THE COOKIE DOUGH

214. AND ROLLS IT INTO THOSE COOKIES OVER THERE.

215. RIGHT TONY?

216. YEAH.

217. YEAH.

218. OKAY... I GET THE FIRST TASTE AND THEN EVERYBODY CAN JOIN IN.

219. ALRIGHT.

220. MMM. MMM.

221. YA KNOW, THEY USE 8 THOUSAND EGGS A DAY

222. TO MAKE THE COOKIE DOUGH...

223. 8 THOUSAND EGGS AND 200 POUNDS OF BUTTER.

224. THAT'S RIGHT.

225. OKAY... EVERYBODY DIG IN!

226. DIG IN.

227. CAREFUL! IT'S VERY HOT.

228. VERY HOT. DIG IN.

229. ANYBODY WANT SOME EGGS?

230. WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THIS STUFF?

231. THIS IS MARGARINE. BUTTER.

232. OKAY KIDS, DIG IN.

233. CAREFUL IT'S VERY HOT.

234. OKAY, HE'S CUTTING THEM INTO DOUGHNUTS,

235. AND THE REST OF THE FLOUR GOES TO THE HOMELESS, RIGHT?

236. I GUESS.

237. OKAY.

238. DIG IN.

239. TAKE AS MUCH AS YOU WANT HOME.

240. HERE'S WHERE THE DOUGHNUTS ARE FRIED AND—

241. MY EYES!

242. BLACK AND WHITES...

243. CHOCOLATE ROUNDS...

244. AND OLD PEOPLE COOKIS.

245. OKAY GANG, DIG IN.

246. THERE'S PLENTY OF CAKE TOO.

247. MAKE SURE YOU TAKE AS MUCH AS YOU CAN.

248. ALRIGHT GANG, YOU GOT YOUR CAKES?

249. YEAH.

250. GOOD.

251. HERE'S THE BEST TIME...

252. TIME TO LICK THE BOWL.

253. ME FIRST.

254. MMMM. MMMM.

255. OKAY, MILK'S NOT QUITE AS GOOD.

256. CHEF! HEY CHEF! WHO YA MAKING THIS CAKE FOR?

257. THIS IS THE CAKE—

258. THIS IS A BIRTHDAY CAKE FOR COURTNEY.

259. OH, CAKE.

260. HEY! MAY I DO THE HONORS?

261. SURE, WHY NOT?

262. UGH.

263. OH YEAH.

264. UGH.

265. NOTHING LIKE A LITTLE HAWAIIAN VACATION

266. AFTER A SUCCESSFUL TOUR, RIGHT TONY?

267. OH, YOU KNOW IT.

268. OZZY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

269. UGH, I'M TRYING TO FIND ME SPECIAL HAWAII CLOTHES.

270. WELL, PUT SOMETHING ON IN THE MEANTIME.

271. OO AH, I KNOW.

272. I'LL PUT ON ME BIRTHDAY SUIT.

273. OH BROTHER, IS RIGHT.

274. OO... WHAT'S WITH THE FLOWERS?

275. IT'S CALLED, A LEI.

276. FAR OUT!

277. WE'RE GONNA GET LAID!

278. NO! THIS IS A LEI.

279. SO'S THIS, MATE.

280. HEY, WHERE'S DOOM DOOM?

281. WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "LOOK OUT FROM ABOVE"?

282. BILL, YOUR ALCOHOLIC RAMBLINGS—

283. BLOODY GET OFF!

284. OZZY, WHY ARE YOU WEARING A MINK COAT?

285. IT'S ME SPECIAL HAWAII CLOTHES, SUPER BRAIN.

286. EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT HAWAII'S BLOODY FREEZING.

287. BUT YOUR HOT, OZZY. SEE? YOU'RE SWEATING.

288. OH RIGHT.

289. PLEASE ENJOY IN HEAP BIG PORTIONS ROAST PIG.

290. DIG ME TO YOUR DEVIL MEDALLION.

291. YOU COULD'VE SAVED ME THE EYEBALLS.

292. CHIEF KAHULAMANAMAYA WANT TO HEAR BIG SOUND, BLACK SABBATH.

293. RIGHT NOW.

294. WE'D LOVE TO, BUT WHERE'S OZZY?

295. OH! HE BE IN TIKI HUT

296. GIVING HIGH HARD ONE TO CHIEF'S WIFE.

297. GIVING HIGH HARD ONE TO CHIEF'S WIFE?

298. WHY'D IT GET SO QUIET?

299. THIS IS IT. I'M DOOMED.

300. HE'S RIGHT, OZZY.

301. HAWAIIAN CUSTOM SAYS YOU'VE GOT TO GET MARRIED.

302. THAT'S ALRIGHT. AT LEAST IT'S A TASTY BIRD.

303. NOT TO HER, YOU IDIOT.

304. TO HIM.

305. BLOODY HELL.

306. STOP! YOU BLOODY BEAST!

307. HEY GUYS!

308. HEY GARY, HOW'S IT GOING? THERE HE IS!

309. YIKES! PUT THAT AWAY FOGEY.

310. HEY, QUIET.

311. WE'RE TALKING ABOUT NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS.

312. YOU MAKE ONE?

313. YEAH, I DID.

314. I GOT THESE PRESCRIPTION GLASSES I NEVER WEAR...

315. THIS YEAR, I'M REALLY GONNA START WEARING THEM.

316. HUH? HUH?

317. SEE?

318. SEE WHAT?

319. IN THE SAUNA, REMEMBER?

320. I SAID I'D WEAR MY PRESCRIPTION GLASSES.

321. WHAT? CAN'T YOU SEE, I'M EATING?

322. ALRIGHT.

323. JEFFREY, WHAT ABOUT YOU?

324. THIS YEAR, I'M GONNA KILL A CELEBRITY.

325. YOU SAY THAT EVERY YEAR.

326. EH, YOU DON'T HAVE THE GUTS.

327. WE'LL SEE.

328. OH YEAH!

329. DON'T FIGHT IT. SLEEP.

330. ETERNAL SLEEP.

331. HEY! BOB HOPE DOESN'T COUNT!

332. GEEZ, IT'S TOO EASY.

333. DAMN!

334. OH! HEY LOOK GANG.

335. A DINO HEAD.

336. ME AND ROCKY ARE GONNA BUILD A DINOSAUR FOR YOU, WHEN WE COME BACK.

337. WE'RE GONNA MAKE—

338. WE'RE GONNA MAKE—

339. WE'RE GONNA MAKE—

340. FORGET IT... IT'S A SURPRISE.

341. RIGHT.

342. MEMORIZATION.

343. IT'S THE HARDEST PART OF SCHOOL,

344. AND PROBABLY LIFE.

345. BUT REMEMBERING FACTS CAN BE EASY AND FUN TOO.

346. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM SOMETHING CALLED,

347. MNEMONICS.

348. IF YOU EVER NEED TO LEARN THE ATMOSPHERES,

349. IT NEEDN'T BE A NIGHTMARE OF BOREDOM.

350. CAN BE LEARNED THIS WAY...

351. BIOLOGY IS NOTHING BUT TEDIOUS MEMORIZATION.

352. BUT MNEMONICS CAN MAKE EVEN THE CIRCULATORY SYSTEM...

353. EASIER TO REMEMBER AS...

354. YOU CAN THANK MNEMONICS AND HENRY FOR YOUR "A".

355. YOU WON'T MAKE A DIME IN PSYCHOLOGY,

356. UNLESS YOU REMEMBER THE 5 STAGES OF GRIEF...

357. SO, JUST THINK OF THIS LITTLE TIP...

358. GOOD ADVICE AND YOUR PATIENTS WILL THANK YOU FOR IT.

359. THANK YOU, MNEMONICS.

360. YOUR A DEAR, DEAR FRIEND.

361. SO WHISKERS,

362. YOU STARTED THIS...

363. HAVE YOU MADE ANY NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS?

364. YUP. THIS YEAR I'M REALLY GONNA DO IT UP ON HALLOWEEN.

365. OH, REAL SCARY! YOU KILLED BOB HOPE!

366. YUP, THAT'S WHAT I'LL DO.

367. THAT'S A GOOD FELLA.

368. HE DOES LOVE BATH TIME.

369. UGH, THAT'S GROSS!

370. YOU JUST GOT NOTHING TO SHOW, MY FRIEND.

371. OH YEAH? ALRIGHT, WELL UH, OKAY HERE I GO.

372. WOW! THAT'S PRETTY SWEET!

373. WHO'S NEXT?

374. I BLAME MY DAD.

375. ALRIGHT, LET ME MOVE THIS FUR.

376. OH! OH THERE IT IS! VERY NICE. VERY NICE.

377. TRUST ME, I'M BIG.

378. OKAY, OKAY, WE BELIEVE YOU. WE BELIEVE YOU.

379. ALRIGHT HOJO, YOU'RE NEXT.

380. I DON'T THINK YOU REALLY WANT THAT.

381. COME ON!

382. ARE YOU SURE?

383. COME ON NEEDLE DICK, JUST SHOW IT!

384. UM, LOOK AT THE TIME.

385. OKAY, WELL, I'D SAY WE DID PRETTY WELL. HEH!

386. YEAH! I COULD GET USED TO THIS.

387. THIS IS NICE WITHOUT A TOWEL.

388. WHAT DO WE GOT TO HIDE, BABY?

389. THERE YOU GO! YOU THE MAN!

390. OKEY DOKE.

391. HERE'S THAT DINOSAUR SKELETON WE PROMISED YOU.

392. WOW, THAT'S REALLY COO—

393. THAT'S REALLY C—

394. THAT'S REALLY COOL.

395. LOOK! THE CAVE COAT JUST WOKE UP.

396. JUST IN TIME TO SAY, OOGA BOOGA GOODBYE.

397. BYE BYE.

398. NEXT WEEK ON T-V FUNHOUSE...

399. WHERE YA GOING?

400. ATLANTIC CITY.

401. HEY GRANDMA!

402. I'D HUMP YOUR LEG,

403. BUT I'M AFRAID IT WOULD TURN TO DUST.

404. HEY! HEY! HEY! DON'T TOUCH GOULET!

405. BABY, I LOVE YOU! TAKE IT OFF!

406. OH YEAH! OH YEAH! OH YEAH!