TV Funhouse 1x5

Directed by Sean Lattrell • Bill Berner • John Schnall

David Juskow as Larry (voice) • Tommy Blacha as Hank (voice)

The Anipals compare New Year's resolutions: Hojo wants to learn the saxophone, Chickie hangs out with his brother with Tourette syndrome, and Fogey must resist eating his own poop. Meanwhile, Doug dresses as a caveman and builds a dinosaur skeleton out of baby back ribs, and Rocky the Fish takes a group of kids to visit a cookie factory.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. HEY EVERYBODY.

2. CAVEMAN DAY.

3. THAT'S CAVEMAN TALK FOR,

4. WELCOME TO CAVEMAN DAY.

5. WE'RE GONNA HAVE ALL KINDS OF PREHISTORIC STUFF TODAY, HERE AT THE FUNHOUSE.

6. BUT FIRST, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO PUT ON YOUR CAVEMAN OUTFIT.

7. NOW, CAVEMEN USED TO

8. CAVEMAN DAY OUTFITS.

9. BUT WE DON'T HAVE TO DO THAT TODAY...

10. DO WE GUYS?

11. - NO WAY... ALIVE AND KICKING. - NOPE, NO PROBLEM DOUG.

12. WE'RE NOT DEAD.

13. HOT GLUE.

14. YUP, NO KILLING NECESSARY.

15. NOPE, NO LYING.

16. GREAT!

17. WELL, I CAN'T BE THE ONLY ONE DRESSED UP IN AN ALIVE COAT.

18. LET'S DRESS UP OUR FRIENDS, THE ANIPALS.

19. OOGA BOOGA BOO THERE ANIPALS!

20. UGH, DOUG.

21. NOT RIGHT NOW.

22. HUH?

23. MY HEAD IS KILLING ME.

24. THE HOLIDAYS... THEY WERE NOT KIND.

25. WHY DON'T YOU TRY ON YOUR SABER TEETH?

26. NO DOUG. NOTHING GOES IN THE MOUTH.

27. MY HOLES TILL NEXT YEAR.

28. WHERE YA GOING?

29. GIVE THEM A BREAK.

30. THEY'RE GETTING A SHVITZ.

31. YEAH.

32. DETOXI-FICACION.

33. ONCE AGAIN,

34. HOLIEST OF HOLIDAYS...

35. YEAH, THANKS BABY JESUS.

36. AND THANKS BABY NEW YEAR.

37. I HATE FUCKING BABY.

38. BOY, JUST THINK HOW

39. OF OUR SYSTEM.

40. IF ONLY WE COULD SWEAT.

41. HEY GUYS.

42. SORRY I'M LATE.

43. WHAT? WHAT'S THE MATTER?

44. - PUT A TOWEL ON! - OH JESUS, WHERE'S YOUR TOWEL?

45. HEY... EASY.

46. HEY, I DON'T NEED TO SEE YOUR FAT, NAKED SHLONG... ALRIGHT?

47. ALRIGHT! LOOK, THAT'S HOW I LIKE TO GO.

48. DON'T LISTEN TO THEM, MY FRIEND.

49. MASSIVE GIRTH.

50. THAT'S DISGUSTING!

51. REPULSIVE!

52. I'M NOT TALKING TO YOU.

53. YEAH...

54. NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS?

55. UH, YEAH. I'M GONNA SPEND MORE TIME WITH MY BROTHER, VIC.

56. SERIOUSLY? THE ONE WITH TURRETS?

57. YEAH.

58. TITTY FUCK!

59. WHO ARE YOU KIDDING? YOU'RE NOT GONNA DO IT.

60. I AM! HE'S MY BROTHER.

61. I'M NOT GONNA BE ASHAMED.

62. SHIT STAINS!

63. SUCK MY DICK!

64. MOTHERFUCKING-DOO!

65. YOU GUYS DON'T KNOW CRAP!

66. HE'S MY BROTHER AND I'M GONNA—

67. FOR CHRIST'S SAKE, FOGEY, LOOK OUT! JESUS!

68. WHAT? WHAT?

69. WHAT ABOUT YOU HOJO? ANY RESOLUTIONS?

70. THIS YEAR, I'M GONNA LEARN A MUSICAL INSTRUMENT.

71. - OKAY. SEE YA. - BYE.

72. IT'S GONNA BE GREAT.

73. MMM.

74. THESE ARE DELICIOUS.

75. RIGHT COAT?

76. YEA! YUMMY, YUMMY!

77. YA KNOW, NOWADAYS,

78. WE JUST THROW THESE BONES AWAY,

79. USE THE BONES TO MAKE TOOLS.

80. HAS A SHARP EDGE,

81. USED AS A CAN OPENER.

82. HMM, SOMETIMES THE BEST WAYS ARE THE OLD WAYS.

83. NOW, THE SMARTER CAVEMEN,

84. IN CAVE SCHOOL,

85. TOOLS LIKE THIS ONE HERE...

86. THIS WEED-WACKER.

87. WOW! AWESOME! COOL!

88. FIND MORE ROCKS.

89. CAVEMEN LOVE ROCKS.

90. NOW, YOU WATCH THIS CARTOON,

91. ELECTRIC TOOTHBRUSH.

92. GEE MOM, I SURE AM BORED.

93. MITCHELL, WHY DON'T YOU GO OUT AND PLAY WITH SETH GOLDSTEIN?

94. YOU MEAN, JEW JEW JEW?

95. MITCHELL.

96. WORSE THAN MEXICANS.

97. DID I HEAR MEXICAN?

98. ARE WE HAVING TACOS FOR DINNER?

99. NO SWEETHEART. WE'RE HAVING SPAGHETTI.

100. WHOPS.

101. NOW, NOW... I THOUGHT YOU LIKED SPAGHETTI?

102. HEY MOM, YOU KNOW WHAT I REALLY LIKE?

103. HAM.

104. THAT HAM LEFTOVER?

105. IN THE REFRIGERATOR, DEAR.

106. I'VE GOT A PLAN TO DRIVE THOSE JEWS NUTS.

107. GET YOUR HAM! GET YOUR FREE HAM HERE!

108. MITCHELL MY BOY, WHAT'S THIS ALL ABOUT?

109. STEP RIGHT UP, MR. GOLDSTEIN.

110. YOU CAN'T PASS UP A DEAL LIKE THIS.

111. DON'T IT SMELL GOOD UNDER THAT BIG OL' HOOKED SHNOZ?

112. OH, YOU LITTLE RASCAL, MITCHELL.

113. BULLS-EYE!

114. WHERE ARE ALL MY TOOLS?

115. AND WOOD? AND PAINT?

116. OH, MITCHELL TOOK THEM.

117. HE'S IN FRONT OF THE GOLDSTEIN'S HOUSE.

118. OUTSIDE OF THE GOLDSTEIN'S HOUSE

119. WHY THAT LITTLE RACIST!

120. HE'S TERRORIZING THOSE JEWS!

121. OH GEORGE... BOYS WILL BE BOYS.

122. SUCH A LITTLE DICKENS.

123. FREE HAM.

124. GO GET MY MINOLTA.

125. SURE THING MOISHA.

126. MOISHA...

127. MITCHELL!

128. HOWDY, MR. WILTON!

129. WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?

130. DRIVING JEWS NUTS.

131. OH NO YOU DON'T!

132. OW!

133. OH!

134. WAIT'LL I GET MY HANDS ON YOU! LITTLE BRAT!

135. POOR MR. WILTON.

136. OY VEY! MINOLTA, DO YOUR STUFF!

137. HONESTLY GEORGE...

138. AN ENTIRE PEOPLE.

139. AT YOUR AGE!

140. THAT'S NOT HOW IT HAPPENED.

141. HE'S RIGHT, MRS. WILTON.

142. THEY DO CONTROL THE MEDIA.

143. OH.

144. THIRTY-SEVEN... THIRTY-EIGHT... THIRTY-NINE... FORTY—

145. UGH! ALRIGHT, WE'VE SEEN IT.

146. WE DON'T NEED TO SEE IT BOUNCE.

147. ALRIGHT. ALRIGHT.

148. JACK OFF.

149. UM... DID YOU MAKE A RESOLUTION, FOGEY?

150. UH, THIS YEAR, I'M GOING TO STOP EATING MY OWN POOP.

151. YEAH RIGHT.

152. YOU SAY THAT EVERY YEAR.

153. I'M TELLING YOU!

154. HOW'S THAT DIET GOING FOGEY?

155. OH, TERRIFIC.

156. I DON'T MISS POOP AT ALL.

157. CHECK IT OUT!

158. HEY! THIS DOESN'T TASTE LIKE POOP AT ALL.

159. GEEZ... THIS TASTES LIKE SHIT!

160. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

161. IT TASTES GREAT, I TELL YOU!

162. JUST LIKE POOP.

163. CREAMY... DELICIOUS POOP.

164. HEY! FOGEY!

165. YOU MISS ME, DON'T YOU?

166. COME ON... TAKE ME BABY.

167. WELL, THE CAVE COAT FELL ASLEEP.

168. DETOX.

169. BUT LOOK WHO'S JOINED US...

170. OUR OLD PAL ROCKY.

171. HEY DOUGY, WHAT'S THE BIG DAY?

172. HEY ROCKY.

173. IT'S CAVEMAN DAY.

174. TERRIFIC.

175. - CAVEMAN. - MMHMM.

176. WE'RE GONNA GO BACK...

177. WE'RE GONNA GO BACK...

178. - THANKS. - MMHMM.

179. WE'RE GONNA GO BACK IN TIME.

180. OOGA BOOGA.

181. RIGHT.

182. WELL, WE'RE KINDA TAKING A BREAK RIGHT NOW.

183. COOL.

184. SO, I UNDERSTAND YOU WENT ON A TRIP.

185. YOU BETCHA.

186. I GOT SOMETHING TO SHOW YOU.

187. OH.

188. I TO—

189. TO A COOKIE FACTORY.

190. OH! YOU WENT ON A TRIP?

191. YEAH. OOGA BOOGA.

192. LET'S TAKE A LOOK.

193. OK GANG.

194. HERE'S WHILE THE COOKIE DOUGH IS ROLLED UP BEFORE IT'S MADE INTO A COOKIE.

195. MAKES OVER 450 POUNDS OF COOKIE DOUGH A DAY?

196. THAT'S THE EQUIVALENT OF 24...

197. OF 24...

198. ADULT CATS.

199. NOW EVERYBODY, THIS COOKIE DOUGH IS ROLLED UP,

200. IT'S NOT COOKED YET, BUT IT'S DELICIOUS.

201. HELP YOURSELVES.

202. GO AHEAD.

203. TRY IT. TAKE ALL YOU WANT.

204. THAT'S GOOD STUFF.

205. YOU GUYS LIKE COOKIE DOUGH?

206. YEAH.

207. YEAH... TONY HERE MAKES THE

208. COOKIES OVER THERE.

209. RIGHT TONY?

210. YEAH.

211. YEAH.

212. OKAY... I GET THE FIRST TASTE AND THEN EVERYBODY CAN JOIN IN.

213. ALRIGHT.

214. MMM. MMM.

215. YA KNOW, THEY USE 8 THOUSAND

216. TO MAKE THE COOKIE DOUGH...

217. 8 THOUSAND EGGS AND 200 POUNDS OF BUTTER.

218. THAT'S RIGHT.

219. OKAY... EVERYBODY DIG IN!

220. DIG IN.

221. CAREFUL! IT'S VERY HOT.

222. VERY HOT. DIG IN.

223. ANYBODY WANT SOME EGGS?

224. WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THIS STUFF?

225. THIS IS MARGARINE. BUTTER.

226. OKAY KIDS, DIG IN.

227. CAREFUL IT'S VERY HOT.

228. OKAY, HE'S CUTTING THEM INTO DOUGHNUTS,

229. TO THE HOMELESS, RIGHT?

230. I GUESS.

231. OKAY.

232. DIG IN.

233. TAKE AS MUCH AS YOU WANT HOME.

234. HERE'S WHERE THE DOUGHNUTS ARE

235. MY EYES!

236. BLACK AND WHITES...

237. CHOCOLATE ROUNDS...

238. AND OLD PEOPLE COOKIS.

239. OKAY GANG, DIG IN.

240. THERE'S PLENTY OF CAKE TOO.

241. AS MUCH AS YOU CAN.

242. ALRIGHT GANG, YOU GOT YOUR CAKES?

243. YEAH.

244. GOOD.

245. HERE'S THE BEST TIME...

246. TIME TO LICK THE BOWL.

247. ME FIRST.

248. MMMM. MMMM.

249. OKAY, MILK'S NOT QUITE AS GOOD.

250. CHEF! HEY CHEF! WHO YA MAKING THIS CAKE FOR?

251. COURTNEY.

252. OH, CAKE.

253. HEY! MAY I DO THE HONORS?

254. SURE, WHY NOT?

255. UGH.

256. OH YEAH.

257. UGH.

258. AFTER A SUCCESSFUL TOUR, RIGHT TONY?

259. OH, YOU KNOW IT.

260. OZZY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

261. UGH, I'M TRYING TO FIND ME SPECIAL HAWAII CLOTHES.

262. WELL, PUT SOMETHING ON IN THE MEANTIME.

263. OO AH, I KNOW.

264. I'LL PUT ON ME BIRTHDAY SUIT.

265. OH BROTHER, IS RIGHT.

266. OO... WHAT'S WITH THE FLOWERS?

267. IT'S CALLED, A LEI.

268. FAR OUT!

269. WE'RE GONNA GET LAID!

270. NO! THIS IS A LEI.

271. SO'S THIS, MATE.

272. HEY, WHERE'S DOOM DOOM?

273. WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "LOOK OUT FROM ABOVE"?

274. BILL, YOUR ALCOHOLIC RAMBLINGS—

275. BLOODY GET OFF!

276. OZZY, WHY ARE YOU WEARING A MINK COAT?

277. IT'S ME SPECIAL HAWAII CLOTHES, SUPER BRAIN.

278. EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT HAWAII'S BLOODY FREEZING.

279. BUT YOUR HOT, OZZY. SEE? YOU'RE SWEATING.

280. OH RIGHT.

281. PORTIONS ROAST PIG.

282. DIG ME TO YOUR DEVIL MEDALLION.

283. YOU COULD'VE SAVED ME THE EYEBALLS.

284. HEAR BIG SOUND, BLACK SABBATH.

285. RIGHT NOW.

286. WE'D LOVE TO, BUT WHERE'S OZZY?

287. OH! HE BE IN TIKI HUT

288. ONE TO CHIEF'S WIFE.

289. TO CHIEF'S WIFE?

290. WHY'D IT GET SO QUIET?

291. THIS IS IT. I'M DOOMED.

292. HE'S RIGHT, OZZY.

293. HAWAIIAN CUSTOM SAYS YOU'VE GOT TO GET MARRIED.

294. THAT'S ALRIGHT. AT LEAST IT'S A TASTY BIRD.

295. NOT TO HER, YOU IDIOT.

296. TO HIM.

297. BLOODY HELL.

298. STOP! YOU BLOODY BEAST!

299. HEY GUYS!

300. HEY GARY, HOW'S IT GOING? THERE HE IS!

301. YIKES! PUT THAT AWAY FOGEY.

302. HEY, QUIET.

303. WE'RE TALKING ABOUT NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS.

304. YOU MAKE ONE?

305. YEAH, I DID.

306. GLASSES I NEVER WEAR...

307. THIS YEAR, I'M REALLY GONNA START WEARING THEM.

308. HUH? HUH?

309. SEE?

310. SEE WHAT?

311. IN THE SAUNA, REMEMBER?

312. I SAID I'D WEAR MY PRESCRIPTION GLASSES.

313. WHAT? CAN'T YOU SEE, I'M EATING?

314. ALRIGHT.

315. JEFFREY, WHAT ABOUT YOU?

316. THIS YEAR, I'M GONNA KILL A CELEBRITY.

317. YOU SAY THAT EVERY YEAR.

318. EH, YOU DON'T HAVE THE GUTS.

319. WE'LL SEE.

320. OH YEAH!

321. DON'T FIGHT IT. SLEEP.

322. ETERNAL SLEEP.

323. HEY! BOB HOPE DOESN'T COUNT!

324. GEEZ, IT'S TOO EASY.

325. DAMN!

326. OH! HEY LOOK GANG.

327. A DINO HEAD.

328. BUILD A DINOSAUR FOR YOU, WHEN WE COME BACK.

329. WE'RE GONNA MAKE—

330. WE'RE GONNA MAKE—

331. WE'RE GONNA MAKE—

332. FORGET IT... IT'S A SURPRISE.

333. RIGHT.

334. MEMORIZATION.

335. IT'S THE HARDEST PART OF SCHOOL,

336. AND PROBABLY LIFE.

337. EASY AND FUN TOO.

338. SOMETHING CALLED,

339. MNEMONICS.

340. ATMOSPHERES,

341. IT NEEDN'T BE A NIGHTMARE OF BOREDOM.

342. CAN BE LEARNED THIS WAY...

343. TEDIOUS MEMORIZATION.

344. EVEN THE CIRCULATORY SYSTEM...

345. EASIER TO REMEMBER AS...

346. HENRY FOR YOUR "A".

347. YOU WON'T MAKE A DIME IN PSYCHOLOGY,

348. THE 5 STAGES OF GRIEF...

349. SO, JUST THINK OF THIS LITTLE TIP...

350. WILL THANK YOU FOR IT.

351. THANK YOU, MNEMONICS.

352. YOUR A DEAR, DEAR FRIEND.

353. SO WHISKERS,

354. YOU STARTED THIS...

355. HAVE YOU MADE ANY NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS?

356. YUP. THIS YEAR I'M REALLY GONNA DO IT UP ON HALLOWEEN.

357. OH, REAL SCARY! YOU KILLED BOB HOPE!

358. YUP, THAT'S WHAT I'LL DO.

359. THAT'S A GOOD FELLA.

360. HE DOES LOVE BATH TIME.

361. UGH, THAT'S GROSS!

362. NOTHING TO SHOW, MY FRIEND.

363. OH YEAH? ALRIGHT, WELL UH, OKAY HERE I GO.

364. WOW! THAT'S PRETTY SWEET!

365. WHO'S NEXT?

366. I BLAME MY DAD.

367. ALRIGHT, LET ME MOVE THIS FUR.

368. OH! OH THERE IT IS! VERY NICE. VERY NICE.

369. TRUST ME, I'M BIG.

370. OKAY, OKAY, WE BELIEVE YOU. WE BELIEVE YOU.

371. ALRIGHT HOJO, YOU'RE NEXT.

372. I DON'T THINK YOU REALLY WANT THAT.

373. COME ON!

374. ARE YOU SURE?

375. COME ON NEEDLE DICK, JUST SHOW IT!

376. UM, LOOK AT THE TIME.

377. OKAY, WELL, I'D SAY WE DID PRETTY WELL. HEH!

378. YEAH! I COULD GET USED TO THIS.

379. THIS IS NICE WITHOUT A TOWEL.

380. WHAT DO WE GOT TO HIDE, BABY?

381. THERE YOU GO! YOU THE MAN!

382. OKEY DOKE.

383. HERE'S THAT DINOSAUR SKELETON WE PROMISED YOU.

384. WOW, THAT'S REALLY COO—

385. THAT'S REALLY C—

386. THAT'S REALLY COOL.

387. LOOK! THE CAVE COAT JUST WOKE UP.

388. JUST IN TIME TO SAY, OOGA BOOGA GOODBYE.

389. BYE BYE.

390. NEXT WEEK ON T-V FUNHOUSE...

391. WHERE YA GOING?

392. ATLANTIC CITY.

393. HEY GRANDMA!

394. I'D HUMP YOUR LEG,

395. BUT I'M AFRAID IT WOULD TURN TO DUST.

396. HEY! HEY! HEY! DON'T TOUCH GOULET!

397. BABY, I LOVE YOU! TAKE IT OFF!

398. OH YEAH! OH YEAH! OH YEAH!