TV Funhouse 1x4

Directed by Ted May • Sean Lattrell • Benjamin Porcari • Bill Berner • Adam Sorota • Brian Kalin O'Connell

Grant Rosenmeyer as Jokámel Boy • Sally Jessy Raphael as Self • Mark Rivers as Narrator • Elon Gold as (voice)

The Anipals appear on The Sally Jessy Raphael Show to get endangered lizard Dave laid. Doug is left to celebrate Mexicans Day with a tequila worm and a Puerto Rican Mexican-food delivery guy.

Request examples:

!req TV Funhouse 1x4 [02:32]
!req TV Funhouse 1x4 [TV Funhouse 1x4]
Syntax: !req EPISODE [quote or timestamp] (max. 8 square brackets)

For quotes, now you can request by index (e.g !req TV Funhouse 1x4 [10-11]; !req TV Funhouse 1x4 [20] [24]). Keep in mind, though, that index numbers might change at any time.
You can also generate a copy command with the quotes. Hover the desired subtitle and enter the amount of lines you want to copy.

Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

Note: you must use specific languages with their specific pages/discord channels.

1. HOLA AMIGOS AND "AMIGONITAS."

2. WELCOME TO MEXICANS DAY HERE AT THE FUNHOUSE.

3. WE'RE GONNA START OFF THE DAY

4. THE WAY REAL MEXICANS DO,

5. BY PLAYING PIÑATA.

6. HEY LOOK, A MEXICAN ROCKET SHIP!

7. AND LOOK, THE ANIPALS CAN PLAY.

8. HOLA, AMIGOS!

9. ( gunshots ) ARRIBA, ARRIBA!

10. JESUS!

11. MORNING, DOUG.

12. COME ON.

13. WHO WANTS TO BE THE FIRST TO HIT THE PIÑATA?

14. FOGEY?

15. DOUG, I NEVER KNOW HOW TO DO THAT,

16. I NEVER TOOK THAT COURSE.

17. YEAH, DOUG.

18. WHY DON'T YOU GO FIRST AND SHOW US HOW?

19. YEAH, GOOD IDEA.

20. GOOD IDEA.

21. I'LL SOFTEN IT UP FOR YOU GUYS.

22. HERE WE GO, ALL RIGHT.

23. HOW AM I DOING, COMPADRE?

24. OH, SO CLOSE, DOUG.

25. HOW ABOUT THIS?

26. WE DON'T SAY ANYTHING,

27. THAT MEANS YOU'RE GETTING WARMER.

28. YEAH, THE LESS WE SAY, THE CLOSER YOU ARE.

29. GOTCHA, MUCHACHA.

30. SO YOU TAKING THE PIPES?

31. YEAH, THANKS.

32. SEE YOU LATER.

33. UH-OH, MONTEZUMA'S REVENGE.

34. JUST KIDDING.

35. ANYWAY, HOW AM I DOING, ANIPALS?

36. MUSIC TO MY EARS.

37. IN THE MEANTIME, I CAN'T,

38. BUT WHY DON'T YOU WATCH THIS?

39. WOW, THIS PLACE SURE IS RUN-DOWN.

40. YEAH, IT'S NOT LIKE WHEN WE WERE YOUNG.

41. LIKE, ALL I KNOW IS THAT THIS PLACE GIVES ME THE CREEPS!

42. LOOK, GANG, A FUNHOUSE.

43. LIKE, COOL!

44. SCOOB!

45. "RORRY" !

46. SOMEONE'S SKULL HASN'T QUITE FUSED TOGETHER.

47. "IN MEMORY OF BARON VON WILHELM,

48. FOUNDER OF OUR BELOVED CARNIVAL."

49. ZOINKS, WE'RE BEING WATCHED!

50. WHAT?

51. LIKE, THIS FUNHOUSE IS MORE LIKE A HAUNTED HOUSE!

52. DON'T BE RIDICULOUS.

53. HEY, CHECK OUT THIS DOOR.

54. ZOINKS!

55. KNOCK IT OFF, YOU TWO.

56. WE'VE GOTTA GET TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS.

57. HEY, STOP CLOWNING, SCOOBY.

58. RAT'S ROT REE!

59. THE HEADLESS HORSEMAN!

60. LET'S GET OUT OF HERE!

61. JINKIES, WAIT FOR ME!

62. COME ON, VELMA, MOVE THOSE NUBS.

63. HOT DOGS!

64. LIKE, I'LL TAKE THREE!

65. ZOINKS, THE BARON'S GHOST!

66. GET THIS OFF OF ME!

67. "RARENTA" ?

68. SOMETHING'S STRANGE.

69. OLD MAN JOHNSON?

70. HE WAS TRYING TO SCARE EVERYONE WITH THESE COSTUMES

71. AND THIS CRAZY EQUIPMENT.

72. THAT'S RIGHT.

73. IT TURNS OUT THIS PARK IS BUILT ON A URANIUM FIELD

74. AND IT WOULD'VE BEEN ALL MINE

75. IF IT WEREN'T FOR YOU MEDDLING KIDS.

76. SOUNDS LIKE SOMEBODY DESERVES A FETAL SCOOBY SNACK.

77. "ROOBY-ROOBY-ROO" !

78. AND FOR YOUR MAIN COURSE, MR. CHICKY?

79. YOU GOT ANY SPECIALS FOR ME, DIGSY?

80. I MAKE YOU A NICE YOU,

81. WITH GLAZED MUSHROOMS AND SPINACH.

82. MM, SOUNDS GOOD.

83. HAVE IT BAKED, THOUGH.

84. I'M STARTING TO GET A LITTLE GUT.

85. ( echoing ) WATCH YOUR BACK, COMING THROUGH.

86. HEY, GANG, THE SPACE MONKEY'S HERE.

87. YEP, BLABBING AT THE V.I.P. TABLE AGAIN.

88. AND I SAYS TO HOUSTON, "RELAX, BOYS,

89. "YOU GOT OLD GALILEO AT THE STICK HERE.

90. "LET'S GO AROUND THIS CRAZY BLUE MARBLE ONE MORE TIME."

91. HOW'D YOU LIKE TO GET BUZZ ALDRIN'S AUTOGRAPH, HONEY?

92. YOU'RE NOT IN SPACE ANYMORE, OLD MAN.

93. HEY FOGEY, HE IS ONE OF THE ORIGINAL SPACE CHIMPS.

94. HE ACTS LIKE HE OWNS THE JOINT.

95. ALL RIGHT, MAKE WAY, LOSERS.

96. THE BIG MAN'S HERE.

97. WHAT THE HELL?

98. HEY, MAYNARD G. KREB, SLIDE OVER,

99. ENDANGERED, COMING THROUGH.

100. HEY, WHO IS THAT CREEP?

101. OH, THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT MAN.

102. HE'S THE LAST MALE OF HIS SPECIES.

103. HEY GANG, CHECK OUT THE "WHORE."

104. THAT A BOOB JOB, BABY?

105. WHAT A DICK.

106. YOU, YOU AND YOU, "OUTSKY."

107. CURLY CAN STAY.

108. SHE'S GIVING ME A PUP TENT!

109. YOUNG MAN, YOU CAN'T JUST MOVE MY PARTY,

110. I'M THE SECOND CHIMP IN OUTER SPACE.

111. HEY, GRANDPA, IF I SO MUCH AS CHOKE ON A BONE HERE,

112. EXTINCT-A-ROONIE.

113. SO GO TOSS YOUR TURDS IN THE ALLEY!

114. HOLY CRAP!

115. DON'T WORRY, FOLKS, IT GROWS BACK.

116. THIS TIME I WANT IT RARE

117. SO I CAN TASTE THE ENDANGERED BLOOD.

118. WOW, THE LAST OF HIS BREED.

119. JESUS, LOOK HOW HE MILKS IT.

120. THERE'S ONLY ONE OF ME.

121. BOO-HOO, I'M LONELY.

122. I NEED ORAL SEX!

123. I CAN'T TAKE THIS GUY.

124. I'D KILL HIM IF IT WEREN'T FOR GREENPEACE.

125. I BET WE COULD FIND A FEMALE OF HIS SPECIES.

126. ARE YOU CRAZY?

127. WHY SHOULD WE HELP THAT ASSHOLE

128. GET LAID EVEN MORE?

129. IT WOULD SHUT HIM UP.

130. AND WE CAN MAKE A FORTUNE OFF THE EGGS.

131. ( Mr. Whiskers ) DO YOU HAVE ANY RARE, FEMALE AFRICAN LIZARDS?

132. COME ON, CHIEF, COUGH UP THE LIZARD.

133. I DON'T UNDERSTAND, DO YOU UNDERSTAND?

134. NO, NO, I FORGOT ALL THAT IN COLLEGE.

135. HE'S FULL OF CRAP.

136. DISTRACT HIM WHILE I LOOK AROUND.

137. UP THERE, WHAT'S THAT?

138. THAT'S GREEN TEA.

139. WHAT'S THIS? JASMINE TEA.

140. WHAT'S THIS? WHAT'S THIS?

141. WHAT'S THIS?

142. OH, YEAH, OH, YEAH.

143. OH, YEAH, MAGIC FINGERS, OH YEAH.

144. GINSENG.

145. WHAT'S THIS, THIS?

146. GINSENG. WHAT'S THIS?

147. AHA!

148. HONORABLE, MY ASS!

149. DAVE, DO YOU FIND COMFORT IN SPIRITUALITY?

150. SALLY, I'VE HAD TO COME TO GRIPS

151. WITH THE FACT THAT GOD HAS FORSAKEN ME.

152. AS THE LAST MALE OF MY SPECIES,

153. I'M PRETTY MUCH ALONE IN THIS WORLD.

154. ( crowd ) AW.

155. WELL, WE HAVE A SURPRISE FOR YOU, DAVE.

156. WE'VE GOTTEN IN TOUCH WITH A FEW OF YOUR FRIENDS

157. AND THEY HAVE FOUND A VERY SPECIAL LADY

158. WHO'S LOOKING FOR A SPECIAL MAN!

159. WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHAT THE HELL'S THIS?

160. I DON'T KNOW THESE GUYS, I DON'T KNOW THESE GUYS!

161. SAY "HELLO" TO HELEN!

162. WHAT THE HELL'S THIS?

163. SO, WHAT DO YOU THINK, DAVE?

164. OH, NO.

165. ARE YOU READY TO SETTLE DOWN

166. FOR THE SAKE OF YOUR SPECIES?

167. HEY, OH, NO.

168. ARE YOU NUTS, FOUR-EYES?

169. LOOK AT HER.

170. I AIN'T GONNA SCREW THIS SKANK!

171. FORGET IT!

172. OH, MY GOODNESS!

173. YOUR MOTHER NEED TO PUT YOU OVER HER KNEE.

174. YOU AIN'T ALL THAT YOURSELF!

175. HEY, SHUT UP, SHUT UP!

176. YOU GOT A LOT OF NERVE,

177. YOU NOT NO RAVING BEAUTY YOURSELF!

178. GO TO HELL!

179. GO TO HELL!

180. BUENOS NOCHES, EVERYBODY.

181. YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD BE FUN?

182. TO MEET AN ACTUAL MEXICAN.

183. LET'S ORDER SOME MEXICAN FOOD,

184. THAT WAY WE CAN TALK TO THE MEXICAN FELLA

185. WHO DELIVERS IT.

186. HELLO, THANK GOODNESS IT'S FRIDAY'S?

187. I'D LIKE TO ORDER FROM YOUR

188. "SOUTH OF THE BORDER" MENU, PLEASE.

189. YES, I'D LIKE TWO TACOS,

190. AND COULD I HAVE WAFFLE FRIES TO GO WITH THAT?

191. AND A COKE.

192. OH, AND INSTEAD OF TORTILLAS,

193. CAN I GET THE TACOS ON PITA BREAD?

194. I LIKE PITA.

195. GREAT.

196. OKAY.

197. SO NOW IN 40 MINUTES TO AN HOUR,

198. WE'RE GONNA MEET A REAL CABALLERO.

199. HERE'S A CARTOON TO TIDE YOU OVER.

200. LET'S HURRY TO THE JOKAMEL TOURNAMENT,

201. THIS TIME WE'RE GOING TO WIN, RIGHT JOE CAMEL?

202. JOE CAMEL, JOE CAMEL!

203. LOOK OVER THERE!

204. WHAT?

205. TEAM MORTAR!

206. YOU MIGHT AS WELL HAND OVER YOUR JOE CAMEL NOW.

207. JOE CAMEL.

208. AND ALL THE REST OF YOUR JOKAMEL.

209. YOU'LL HAVE TO DEFEAT THEM FIRST.

210. GO JOE CAMEL!

211. ( announcer ) SUNDAY AFTERNOON BLUES?

212. BORED AGAIN?

213. JOKAMEL!

214. FEATURING THE JOE CAMEL WATCH,

215. THE JOE CAMEL VIDEO GAME,

216. THE JOE CAMEL FLYING DISK

217. AND THE JOE CAMEL ACTION FIGURE.

218. TOYS YOU'LL CRAVE.

219. GOT TO GET 'EM ALL!

220. IS THAT YOUR BEST SHOT?

221. TRY THIS ON FOR SIZE!

222. GO JANE CAMEL!

223. JANE CAMEL!

224. AHH!

225. MYSTERIATO, I CHOOSE YOU!

226. GO ASSIGOR!

227. BLOW ATTACK!

228. ASSIGOR!

229. NOW AVAILABLE, JANE CAMEL LUNCHBOX.

230. OWN THE MYSTERIATO T-SHIRT.

231. PLAY ON THE ASSIGOR HIPPITY-HOP,

232. WITH CANDY CONTAINER!

233. TOYS YOU'LL CRAVE.

234. GOT TO GET 'EM ALL!

235. ( both ) CAITLIN!

236. GO, "SATISFIZOR" !

237. ( man ) JOE CAMEL IS CONSUMING "SATISFIZOR'S" POWER!

238. NOW HE'S GOT THE POWER!

239. ( announcer ) FEELING EDGY?

240. GRAB SOME JOKAMEL.

241. NOW AVAILABLE, CAITLIN PENCIL SHARPENER.

242. THE "ME SO SNEEZY" JOE CAMEL.

243. TICKLE HIM AND HE SNEEZES.

244. THE PLEASANT "SATISFIZOR" BUBBLE BLOWER.

245. AND REMEMBER, WHEN YOU CATCH ALL 20 JOE CAMEL FIGURES,

246. YOU'LL RECEIVE THIS FREE CARRYING CASE.

247. THE SURGEON GENERAL WARNS JOKAMEL MIGHT BE TOO MUCH FUN.

248. AND NOW, KIDS, YOU CAN ENJOY JOE CAMEL

249. AND ALL HIS FRIENDS WITHOUT CIGARETTES,

250. SMOOTH, SILKY CIGARETTES,

251. AVAILABLE IN STORES.

252. WE'RE BACK AND WE HAVE FINISHED HELEN'S MAKEOVER.

253. NOW LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT HELEN BEFORE

254. AND LET'S SEE HELEN AFTER!

255. WOW!

256. WASN'T THAT FABULOUS?

257. WHAT DO YOU THINK, DAVE?

258. YOUR SPECIES IS COUNTING ON YOU!

259. FORGET IT!

260. NOW SHE'S JUST A SKANK WITH A ( bleep ) DAMN BOW!

261. WHY DON'T YOU JUST STOP BEING A ( bleep )

262. AND GIVE THAT BABY THE HOOCHIE-COOCHIE?

263. I SAID, WHO YOU CALLING AN ( bleep ) ?

264. I'M CALLING YOU AN ( bleep ) !

265. YOU'RE THE ( bleep ) !

266. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

267. YOU COME DOWN HERE AND SAY THAT!

268. YOU WANT A PIECE OF ME?

269. YOU WANT A PIECE OF ME?

270. OH, BOY, MUST BE THE FOOD GUY.

271. HI.

272. BUENOS NOCHES, AMIGO.

273. ESTE DESGRACIADO CON ESE SOMBRERO TAN GRANDE.

274. HOLD IT, HOLD IT.

275. THIS IS JUST A GETUP,

276. I REALLY DON'T SPEAK YOUR LANGUAGE.

277. OKAY, TWO TACOS ON PITA,

278. WAFFLE FRIES, AND A COCA-COLA,

279. THAT'S 8.50 ALL TOGETHER.

280. SAY, COME ON IN, IT'S MEXICAN'S DAY.

281. HEY, I'M NO MEXICAN, I'M PUERTO RICAN.

282. YOU'RE JUST IN TIME, TOO.

283. YOU'RE ABOUT TO MEET SOMEONE FROM YOUR NECK OF THE PUEBLO,

284. JUAN THE WORM.

285. WHAT'S THAT YOU SAY DOWN THERE, JUAN?

286. I CAN'T HEAR YOU DOWN THERE, BUDDY.

287. LOOK, WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO GET YOU OUT OF THERE MEXICAN STYLE.

288. WHAT DO YOU SAY, AMIGO?

289. YOU LIKE 'EM FIRE WATER?

290. OH, GIBBITY GOBBITY GOO, I'LL TAKE THAT FOR A "Sí."

291. CHECK OUT THIS SCHOOL FILM.

292. ( narrator )

293. IT'S EVEN HARDER THAN BOWLING A 300 GAME.

294. BUT REMEMBERING FACTS CAN BE EASY AND FUN, TOO,

295. WHEN YOU USE YOUR FRIEND, MNEMONICS.

296. MANY OF YOU USE MNEMONICS ALL THE TIME.

297. FOR EXAMPLE, TO REMEMBER THE NOTES FOR READING

298. MUSIC, YOU MIGHT USE THE MNEMONIC,

299. SEE HOW IT WORKS?

300. THERE ARE FIVE GROUPS OF BONES

301. IN THE ADULT SPINAL COLUMN,

302. ALL OF THEM WITH STRANGE AND FORGETTABLE NAMES.

303. IT MIGHT BE EASIER

304. DON'T EAT IT, THOUGH, JUST REMEMBER THAT IT DOES.

305. MNEMONICS WILL DO THE REST.

306. THE EVOLUTIONARY TIMETABLE

307. AH, THAT'S BETTER.

308. NOW WHEN YOU'RE ASKED ABOUT EVOLUTION,

309. YOU NEED ONLY IMAGINE MELISSA AND HER PREFERENCE FOR PICKLES.

310. DEAR LORD, WHO CAN REMEMBER OUR FIRST FIVE PRESIDENTS?

311. YOU MAY NEVER KNOW WHY,

312. BUT YOU'LL KNOW OUR FIRST FIVE PRESIDENTS.

313. OH, DEAR.

314. THE ORIGINAL 13 COLONIES.

315. LET'S TRY A MNEMONIC.

316. THANKS AGAIN, MNEMONICS.

317. YOU'RE A DEAR, DEAR FRIEND.

318. HEY, HEY, GET AWAY FROM ME, FEATHER PUD.

319. OH YEAH, YOU WANT SOME MORE, POPEYE?

320. HEY, I'M TRYING TO EAT.

321. THAT'S WHAT HE SAID!

322. HEY DAVE, HEY, COME ON, PAL,

323. WE'RE TRYING TO MAKE YOU SOME MONEY.

324. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS GET THAT LIZARD PREGNANT

325. AND NOW WE SELL THE EGGS.

326. YEAH, IT CAN'T FAIL.

327. SOUNDS GOOD, EXCEPT

328. I AIN'T STICKING LITTLE DAVE INTO THAT SLUNK MEAT.

329. OKAY, PLAN "B."

330. YEAH, MY FRIEND HERE NEEDS TO—

331. HE'S HERE FOR UH, HE'S—

332. TO COLLECT HIS—

333. I GOTTA WHACK IT, SISTER!

334. RIGHT THIS WAY.

335. I'M TELLING YOU, IT AIN'T GONNA WORK.

336. I CAN'T GET OFF WITH THESE OLD MAGAZINES.

337. EVERY ONE OF THESE WOMEN IS DEAD!

338. IT'S A TURN-OFF!

339. WELL, NO ONE ELSE SEEMS TO HAVE THAT PROBLEM.

340. I AIN'T NO ONE ELSE, HONEY.

341. I'M AN EXTREMELY RARE AFRICAN LIZARD

342. AND I GOT VERY EXACTING AND SPECIFIC TASTES.

343. WE SHOULD DO WHAT HE SAYS.

344. AH, OKAY.

345. NOW REALLY GET THAT BULB UP THERE.

346. THAT'S AS FAR AS IT GOES.

347. OKAY, NOW GO AHEAD.

348. GO AHEAD WHAT?

349. WHACK ME OFF.

350. YOU DON'T EXPECT ME TO DO IT?

351. YOU SICK FREAK!

352. HEY, I DON'T HAVE ANY THUMBS, YOU MAROONS!

353. NOW WHO'S GONNA DO IT?

354. WHILE I'M HARD!

355. WELL, DON'T LOOK AT ME.

356. WE DON'T HAVE THUMBS.

357. WE'LL HANDLE IT.

358. NURSE WALKER!

359. MOMMY!

360. JUAN, óYEME.

361. TU NO ME ESTáS OYENDO.

362. YO TE DIJE YA QUE YO HICE TODO POR ESA MUJER...

363. CLOTHES ARE CONSTRICTING.

364. Sí, Sí, I UNDERSTAND, DOUG.

365. NOW, MY AMIGO, IT SEEMS OUR TIME TOGETHER

366. HAS COME TO AN END.

367. WHAT DO YOU MEAN, JUAN?

368. YOU SEE, YOU HAVE COME TO THE BOTTOM OF THE BOTTLE.

369. NOW YOU MUST EAT ME.

370. OH, NO, I COULDN'T DO THAT.

371. YES, YOU MUST!

372. IT IS THE MEXICAN WAY.

373. YOU MUST EAT ME OR YOU WILL ANGER

374. THE MEXICAN PAGAN GODS

375. AND THEY WILL DESTROY THE PEOPLE OF THE VILLAGE,

376. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.

377. I'VE SEEN IT A HUNDRED TIMES.

378. OH, GEE WHIZ.

379. NOW I WILL SING THE TRADITIONAL SONG

380. AND THEN YOU MUST—

381. NIGHT-NIGHT.

382. THE ANIPALS ARE BACK!

383. YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK?

384. I THINK YOU'RE SCARED!

385. YOU NEED TO CALL A VET

386. AND SEE IF THEY GOT VIAGRA FOR LIZARDS!

387. OH, YEAH RIGHT, YOU SHOULD GO TO THE VET, LADY!

388. YOU GOT DISEASES UP THE WAZOO, I BET!

389. I'LL ROCK YOUR WORLD!

390. OH, BRING IT ON! YOU BRING IT ON, BIG SHOT!

391. I'LL MAKE YOU BACK THAT THING UP!