TV Funhouse 1x3

Directed by Sean Lattrell • Bill Berner • David Wachtenheim

Andrew Daly as Joseph of Arimathea (voice) • Ana Gasteyer as Mary Magdalene (voice) • Tyrone Finch as Meadowlark (voice) • Tim Meadows as Curly (voice) • Tracy Morgan as Geese (voice)

The Anipals tap Doug's spine to extract his Christmas cheer. One of Chickie's sons helps to turn the cheer into powder, and the Anipals become addicts.

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!req TV Funhouse 1x3 [02:32]
!req TV Funhouse 1x3 [TV Funhouse 1x3]
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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

Note: you must use specific languages with their specific pages/discord channels.

1. ENOUGH!

2. MERRY CHRISTMAS, ANIPALS.

3. CHRISTMAS? BAH HUMCUNT.

4. THAT'S HUMBUG.

5. AND IT'S FROM MY FAVORITE YULETIDE STORY,

6. THE CHRISTMAS EPISODE OF BEWITCHED.

7. DOUG, WHY ARE YOU SO HAPPY?

8. I'M FILLED WITH CHRISTMAS CHEER.

9. WOW, WHERE'D YOU GET IT?

10. WELL, SANTA CLAUS SPREADS IT AROUND

11. EVERYWHERE THIS TIME OF YEAR.

12. FOR FREE?

13. WHERE IS IT? I DON'T SEE ANY.

14. WELL, YOU CAN'T SEE IT.

15. IT'S JUST A RING JING TINGLY FEELING

16. YOU HAVE UP YOUR SPINE.

17. REALLY? THE SPINE?

18. SHIT.

19. WHAT DO YOU MEAN, SHIT?

20. WE COULD MAKE A FORTUNE.

21. SILLY.

22. MAYBE WE CAN TAP INTO HIS SPINE.

23. YEAH, YEAH, CHRISTMAS CHEER.

24. NOW HOLD STILL, DOUG,

25. THIS IS GOING TO BE VERY PAINFUL.

26. IS IT?

27. YEP.

28. BE SURE TO GET IT ALL, DOC.

29. DON'T WORRY, HANK,

30. THERE'S PLENTY FOR EVERYBODY.

31. HERE IT COMES.

32. OOH, PRETTY.

33. GET YOUR FACE AWAY FROM THAT CHEER!

34. WE NEED IT PURE.

35. UH-OH.

36. MY LEG'S STARTING TO GET A LITTLE NUMB.

37. THAT'S GOTTA BE A GOOD SIGN.

38. HEY, DOC, I'M PLANNING ON GOING CAROLING IN AN HOUR,

39. IS THAT OKAY?

40. I WOULDN'T 'CAUSE I'D BE PARALYZED.

41. OKEY POKEY, THAT'S IT.

42. COME ON, GUYS, LET'S GO TO MY PLACE

43. AND FIGURE OUT THE BEST WAY TO DROP THIS JUNK.

44. GEE, KIDS,

45. IT SURE FEELS GREAT TO BE GIVING ON CHRISTMAS.

46. NOW ENJOY THIS CHRISTMAS CLASSIC.

47. ( narrator ) NOW LISTEN, MY CHILDREN, AND YOU SHALL HEAR

48. OF SOMEONE WHO BRINGS CERTAIN FEELINGS ONCE A YEAR.

49. IT HAPPENS EACH WINTER, YOU'LL HEAR HIS NAME MENTIONED,

50. TINGLES, THE CHRISTMAS TENSION.

51. NOW TINGLES APPEARS ON THE 23rd,

52. DISGUISED AS A PHONE BILL, YOUR HOME HE'S ENTERED.

53. HE LEAPS OUT FROM HIDING UP INTO THE AIR,

54. SPRINKLING TENSION DUST 'ROUND EVERYWHERE.

55. I'D SURE LIKE TO FILL ALL HER QUOTAS.

56. AND YOU KIDS MAY WONDER SOMETIMES WHEN YOU PLAY

57. WHY YOUR PARENTS CAN'T TAKE IT AROUND CHRISTMAS DAY.

58. ON GRANDMA, ON GRANDPA, ON DRUNK UNCLE OTTO,

59. ON COUSIN KATE WITH HER LITTLE OUT-OF-WEDLOCK MULATTO.

60. OH, YOU LET YOUR KIDS DO THAT?

61. SAYS OLD AUNTIE ROSE.

62. NOW YOU CHILDREN SO HAPPY AND BOUNCING WITH GLEE.

63. NOW CHRISTMAS IS OVER, BUT KIDS DON'T YOU FEAR.

64. TINGLES WILL BE BACK SPREADING HIS VIBES NEXT YEAR.

65. WE NEED TO FIND A PLACE TO CONCENTRATE THIS CHEER.

66. YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, I'M WAY AHEAD OF YOU.

67. CHICKY!

68. I HAD TO WRAP ALL THESE PRESENTS MYSELF.

69. SORRY, SWEETIE.

70. WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? AND WHAT'S THAT JAR?

71. OH, UH, WE, UH...

72. WE HAD TO GO PICK UP SOME INGREDIENTS

73. SO WHISKERS COULD MAKE SOME OF HIS, UH,

74. FAMOUS CHRISTMAS YOGURT.

75. OH, OKAY.

76. HONEY, WHICH KID HAS THE CHEMISTRY SET AGAIN?

77. UH... DEVON.

78. GREAT.

79. COME ON, WHISKERS AND GANG!

80. AH, NO, THIS KID'S INTO SNOWBOARDING,

81. MUST BE DOWN THE HALL.

82. NO, THIS ONE'S INTO PRO WRESTLING.

83. METALLICA?

84. JESUS.

85. LET'S GO, MOVE IT!

86. BACK UP, BACK UP.

87. ASTRONAUTS? ASTRONAUTS? ASTRONAUTS?

88. OUT!

89. NOPE, THIS ONE'S INTO THE SIMPSONS.

90. HOW MANY CHICKS DO YOU HAVE, CHICKY?

91. 186.

92. AND ALL BOYS.

93. TELL ME ABOUT IT.

94. LOOKS GREAT FROM HERE.

95. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

96. COME ON, ZABU, SING WITH ME!

97. IT'S A HOLIDAY!

98. NO DAYS OFF UNTIL I CATCH THE TAIL!

99. COME ON!

100. I CAN'T DO IT, HE'S GETTING AWAY!

101. OH, WELL.

102. HERE'S SOME MORE FUN HOLIDAY CHRISTMAS STUFF.

103. ( narrator ) IN THE LIVING ROOM CLOSET.

104. MOM'S DRAWER.

105. THE OVEN.

106. UNDER GRANDPA'S HAT.

107. IN DAD'S GUN CABINET.

108. INSIDE BREAD.

109. ON THE ROOF.

110. THE KITCHEN WALL.

111. AND INSIDE YOUR FAVORITE TOY.

112. OUT.

113. OUT.

114. ( laughing ) CHICKY JR.

115. OUT.

116. A-HA!

117. WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?

118. RIGHT HERE WORKING ON MY SCIENCE PROJECT.

119. WELL, GET LOST,

120. WE'VE GOT GROWN-UPY THINGS TO DO.

121. I'M TELLING MOM!

122. NO, DON'T TELL MOM!

123. OKAY, LOOK, YOU CAN STAY.

124. WHAT ARE YOU DOING? MAYBE I CAN HELP.

125. ALL RIGHT.

126. WELL, HERE, LOOK.

127. YOU SEE THIS DRIPPY STUFF?

128. LIQUID, YEAH.

129. BLAH BLAH BLOOBY BLEE...

130. OH, I CAN HELP YOU WITH THAT.

131. THERE YOU ARE.

132. GRADE-A POWDERED CHRISTMAS CHEER.

133. LET'S SNORT IT.

134. I'M NOT FEELING ANYTHING.

135. ME NEITHER, JEFFY, YOU?

136. NADA.

137. AH, THIS STUFF IS CRAP!

138. WE'VE BEEN RIPPED OFF!

139. I BELIEVE FREEBASING IS MORE INTENSE.

140. I THINK I'M GETTING SOMETHING.

141. YEAH, SPAGHETTI LEGS.

142. WHOA!

143. MERRY CHRISTMAS!

144. HEY, GANG!

145. LET'S GO SEE IF IT'S SNOWING!

146. IT'LL BLOW YOUR ASS OUT OF THE WATER.

147. —AND HAVE EVERLASTING LIFE.

148. GOD SENT NOT A SON INTO THE WORLD,

149. CONDEMN THE WORLD—

150. YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.

151. I'M TELLING YOU IT'S A FAIR PRICE.

152. $500 IS A FAIR PRICE.

153. CHEER, CHEER.

154. GUYS, ENOUGH.

155. GET THE HELL BACK HERE!

156. JINGLE BELLS DASHING ALL THE WAY!

157. IT'S SO FUN TO RIDE ON A SLEIGH!

158. IT'S A SLEIGH!

159. IT'S A SLEIGH!

160. THANKS FOR INVITING ME OVER, HANK.

161. THIS SHIT IS GREAT.

162. YEAH, YEAH.

163. HEY, THE LADIES NEED MORE CHEER, JERRY.

164. OH, HEY, SURE, WHERE IS IT?

165. HEY, MOFOS!

166. I JUST PUT 3 OUNCES OF CHOICE CHEER

167. ON MY LITTLE PRESIDENT JOHNSON.

168. HE IS READY FOR AC-T-ION!

169. CHICKY, DON'T USE IT ALL.

170. WHOA, DUDE, MY FRIEND!

171. HAIL TO THE CHIEF!

172. NO, I NEED THAT!

173. OOH, COME ON.

174. WHOA.

175. OH, YEAH, BRING IT ON.

176. THE MORE, THE MERRIER.

177. OH, YEAH OH, YEAH.

178. UM, LET'S GO SCORE SOME MORE.

179. GOOD IDEA.

180. FELIZ NAVIDAD TO ALL OUR LATINO FRIENDS OUT THERE.

181. BOY, I'M GETTING ALL KIND OF FEELING BACK IN MY TOES,

182. AND A COUPLE MINUTES AGO,

183. MY WHOLE FOOT TWITCHED IN A SPASM—

184. HEY, HEY, HEY!

185. COULD YOU PLEASE KEEP IT DOWN?

186. I'M LULLING THE TAIL INTO A FALSE SENSE OF SECURITY.

187. GREAT MOVIE, HUH, TAIL?

188. OH, NO!

189. UNCLE BILLY MISPLACED THE MONEY.

190. BUT WORRY NOT, MY FRIEND.

191. GOOD WILL PREVAIL.

192. ARE YOU COMFY?

193. MORE RUMBLES, YES?

194. WOW.

195. NOW WE'RE ALL GETTING INTO THE SPIRIT OF THINGS,

196. AND— UH-OH.

197. LEG'S NUMB AGAIN.

198. DAMN, THAT'S THE LAST OF IT.

199. AH, SCREW IT, WE GOT ENOUGH.

200. LET'S GO, LET'S GO.

201. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

202. SHUT UP.

203. JESUS, STOP THAT!

204. SHUT UP!

205. OH, GOD.

206. WHAT HAPPENED?

207. OH, NO!

208. PENNY FOR YOUR THOUGHTS.

209. NO, THANKS.

210. HEY, EASY, EASY.

211. IT'S 10:00 IN THE MORNING.

212. 10:00? CHRIST!

213. WHAT?

214. I GOTTA BE SANTA.

215. ( woman over P.A. ) Attention shoppers,

216. Santa's Christmas-filled Wonderland Shop is now open.

217. Last chance to ask Santa for that special gift.

218. DON'T FREAK OUT, DON'T FREAK OUT,

219. DON'T FREAK OUT, DON'T FREAK OUT,

220. DON'T FREAK OUT...

221. DON'T FREAK OUT, DON'T FREAK OUT.

222. HO DEE HO DEE HO.

223. WHO'S FIRST?

224. AH.

225. WHAT'S YOUR NAME, LITTLE GIRL?

226. ( girl ) MY NAME IS DELICIOUS AND FRESH GREEN GRASS.

227. LOOKY.

228. MAYBE THIS MISTLETOE WILL GET ME A CHRISTMAS KISS.

229. PLUS ALL THE SPINE SYMPATHY.

230. HOLD STILL! STOP TALKING!

231. WELL, WELL, LOOK WHERE WE ENDED UP, TAIL.

232. TWO LONELY HEARTS BY THE MISTLETOE.

233. YOU SCUMBAG!

234. I'LL TEAR YOUR HEART OUT

235. AND FEED IT TO THE DOGS!

236. HERE'S ANOTHER THING.

237. HEY, I THINK—

238. I THINK THIS ONE'S DEAD.

239. HANK, IT'S COOL.

240. SCHOOL?

241. SUNDAY SCHOOL!

242. MY KID'S CHRISTMAS PAGEANT.

243. I FORGOT, MY KID'S PLAYING A THREE WISE MAN.

244. FOGEY, YOU GOTTA GIVE ME A LIFT.

245. ME?

246. I CAN'T DRIVE ON THIS STUFF.

247. COME ON!

248. I'M TAKING THE PIPES.

249. YOU CAN HAVE IT RIGHT BACK.

250. HEY, HEY, A LITTLE ROOM, SHEEP BREATH.

251. AND THE ANGEL CAME DOWN FROM HEAVEN.

252. AND LO, WE ARE THREE KINGS WHO HAVE TRAVELED FROM THE EAST

253. FOLLOWING A STAR TO THIS HOLY PLACE.

254. OH, MAN, THAT'S MY SON UP THERE!

255. HE'S A FUCKIN' STAR!

256. SHH!

257. DON'T MIND ME.

258. SHOW'S UP FRONT, FOLKS.

259. JEFFY, KEEP IT DOWN, PAL.

260. NOT EVERYONE'S ON CHEER.

261. THE NEW KING OF THE JEWS, THE SON OF GOD—

262. BOO, GO, JUNIOR!

263. UH-OH, UH-OH!

264. DON'T DO IT, JESUS!

265. QUIET.

266. IT'S NOT WORTH IT!

267. YOU GET SCREWED IN THE END!

268. COME ON, MAN, YOU'RE EMBARRASSING ME!

269. RUN, JESUS, RUN!

270. LOOK OUT!

271. WHO ARE YOU?

272. I AM THE GHOST OF CHRISTMAS PAST.

273. WHAT WAS THAT?

274. HE TOOK THE PIPES.

275. OH.

276. SO ARE YOU HERE TO SHOW ME

277. WHAT MY PAST CHRISTMASES WERE LIKE?

278. NO, I'M ACTUALLY SHOWING

279. THE FUTURE BEARDED YOU HIS PAST.

280. YIPES.

281. THAT'S A BEARD THAT YOU'LL BE GROWING

282. IN THE FUTURE.

283. BUT I'M HERE TO SHOW HIM YOUR— HIS— YOUR PAST.

284. THE POINT IS, IT'S A BEARD.

285. MAN, WE GOTTA QUIT DOING DRUGS.

286. WE SURE DO. NO MORE. YEAH.

287. ON THE WAGON.

288. NO MORE DRUGS.

289. BUT WHERE WILL WE FIND THE STRENGTH?

290. THE BABY JESUS.

291. HE DIED FOR US ALL.

292. CRUTCHES.

293. WHOA!

294. I'M CANDY-CAPPED.

295. YOU ARE A HEATHEN!

296. YEAH!

297. LET'S GET HIM, GANG!

298. HUH?

299. YEAH.

300. IS THAT WHAT CHRISTMAS MEANS TO YOU?

301. LICKING AND KISSING AND CANDY AND CHEER?

302. HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT ABOUT THE TRUE MEANING, DOUG?

303. THAT A DUCK WAS BORN IN A MANGER.

304. LOBSTER. CAT.

305. CHICKEN. TURTLE.

306. COCKAPOO.

307. HEY, LOOK, I'M GETTING FEELING BACK.

308. LOOK, HE CAN WALK!

309. IT'S A MIRACLE!

310. A MIRACLE!

311. JESUS HAS DONE IT AGAIN!

312. THAT'S JESUS FOR YOU.

313. GREAT JOB, JESUS, WAY TO GO!

314. TAKE IT, HANK!