TV Funhouse 1x2

Directed by Ted May • Sean Lattrell • David Lipson • Don McGrath • Benjamin Porcari

A.D. Miles as Narrator (voice) • Ana Gasteyer as Anne Heche (voice) • Matt Davis as Chicken Cult Leader (voice) • Joe Lo Truglio as Bellboy • John Thrall Bush as Bathroom Businessman

Doug and Rocky the Fish have a luau all by themselves while the Anipals help Chickie rescue his 95th son, Jason, from a cult.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

Note: you must use specific languages with their specific pages/discord channels.

1. ALOHA!

2. TV FUNHOUSE HAWAIIAN SHOW.

3. WE'RE GONNA BE EATIN' ALL SORTS OF "HAWAIIAN-Y"-TYPE FOOD!

4. BUT WE CAN'T HAVE A LUAU WITHOUT OUR FRIENDS,

5. THE ANIPALS.

6. ALOHA, ANIPALS.

7. HEY, HOJO, WHERE'S THE REST OF THE GANG?

8. HI, DOUG.

9. THEY ALL WANTED TO BE HERE,

10. WE'RE GONNA HAVE A BIG LUAU.

11. LUAU, OH, YEAH, SORRY, DOUG,

12. I CAN'T COME TO THE LUAU, 'CAUSE I—

13. WE'RE GONNA BE DRINKING OUT OF COCONUTS,

14. AND WE'RE GONNA

15. RIGHT, RIGHT.

16. I CAN'T DO THAT, SEE, 'CAUSE I'M MUSLIM.

17. MUSLIM?

18. YEAH, YEAH, I'M ARABIAN,

19. AND YOU CAN'T EAT PIGS AND STUFF.

20. SORRY, I'D TRY TO GET OUT OF IT,

21. BUT THEY'RE REALLY FANATICS ABOUT IT.

22. THE OTHER ANIPALS?

23. MUSLIMS, ALL OF THEM.

24. UH, WE'RE ALL MEETING, ACTUALLY, TO PRAY TO... GOD.

25. ALLAH?

26. YEAH, THAT'S THE GUY, YOU GOT IT.

27. CAN YOU GIVE ME A HAND?

28. TAKE THE PIPES.

29. SURE.

30. OH, WELL, ASSALAMU ALAIKUM.

31. HUH?

32. THAT'S MUSLIM-TALK FOR "ALOHA."

33. OH, SEE YOU.

34. WOW, THEY'RE ALL PRAYING.

35. HAVE A MUSLIM DAY.

36. ABOUT RALPH?

37. IT'S THE WORST.

38. OH, YEAH, VERY SAD.

39. ICK! I THINK MY CAT IS DOG.

40. I THINK YOU'RE RIGHT.

41. MR. BEAU, YOU GOT DOG THERE?

42. GOOD, GOOD, CHINESE FOOD'S CONFUSING.

43. HOW'S THE PEKING DUCK, JEFFIE?

44. I HATE THAT I LOVE IT.

45. HEY, GUYS.

46. TO RALPH?

47. TERRIBLE, HIS WIFE LEFT HIM.

48. CROSS-DRESSING.

49. OOH.

50. I'LL BE RIGHT DOWN, HON.

51. THAT LEAKY FAUCET.

52. HONEY, IT WAS A GIFT FOR YOU,

53. WOW.

54. THAT'S A SICK FUCKING GUY.

55. HANK!

56. YOU HEARD ME.

57. THE TOWN'S BEING OVERRUN BY QUEERS AND FREAKS.

58. HER— NO, NOT HIM, HER.

59. YES, YES, SHE'LL DO NICELY.

60. HANK, COME ON.

61. WHO'D SAY I'M WEIRD

62. MY OLD CRAP.

63. UM, YEAH.

64. LOOK, WE'VE ALL GOT PROBLEMS.

65. MY SON FRIGGING HATES ME.

66. WHICH ONE?

67. JASON, MY 95th.

68. THE MIDDLE CHILD, THAT'S ALWAYS TOUGH.

69. YEAH, WELL, I CAUGHT HIM MASTURBATING.

70. HELLO, IS ANYBODY DOWN HERE?

71. OH, MY GOD!

72. OH, SORRY—

73. WHAT THE HELL, DON'T YOU KNOCK?

74. THERE'S NO DOOR IN

75. I HATE YOU, I'VE ALWAYS HATED YOU!

76. I HATE YOU, YOU'RE STUPID AND UGLY!

77. EASY! I AM NOT UGLY!

78. IT'S JUST A PHASE, HE'S A KID.

79. JUST WATCH HIM, OR HE'LL GROW UP A LITTLE—

80. WHAT I MEAN.

81. I'M NOT UGLY.

82. THIS UP TO GO?

83. YOU'RE TAKING IT HOME?

84. YEAH, WELL, THAT "FAG-A-ROO" STORY KINDA RUINED MY APPETITE.

85. THE FACE IS THE BEST PART, AND IT'S ALL MINE.

86. TAKE A LOOK AT THIS.

87. KIDDER, DOWNEY, AND HECHE!

88. ACTING ABILITIES,

89. MARGOT KIDDER, ROBERT DOWNEY JR.,

90. HOMES OF TOTAL STRANGERS.

91. TOGETHER, THEY JOIN FORCES

92. THOSE INNOCENT VICTIMS,

93. WHO, THROUGH NO FAULT OF THEIR OWN,

94. OBTAIN A SEARCH WARRANT.

95. DOWNEY, KIDDER, AND HECHE?

96. COME RIGHT IN.

97. WE DON'T KNOCK IN THIS OFFICE, OR ANYWHERE ELSE.

98. DO FOR YOU?

99. I DON'T KNOW WHERE ELSE TO TURN.

100. IT'S CORKY, MY DOG.

101. HE'S BEEN MISSING FOR FIVE DAYS.

102. ANNE, ARE YOU GETTING THIS?

103. FIVE DAYS, GOT IT.

104. THE NEIGHBORHOOD TOOK HIM.

105. BUT THE POLICE SAID, WITHOUT ANY EVIDENCE,

106. THEY CAN'T ISSUE A SEARCH WARRANT.

107. SEARCH WARRANTS.

108. ON FOLLOWING THE LAW.

109. I'M DESPERATE, I'LL PAY ANYTHING

110. NEIGHBORS' YARDS AND HOUSES.

111. MA'AM, I ASSURE YOU,

112. STUMBLED UPON YOUR BELOVED OWL.

113. IT'S A DOG.

114. THANK YOU, THAT'S VERY HELPFUL.

115. KIDDER, YOU'RE GOING TO APPROACH FROM THE WEST.

116. GREEN HILL ROAD,

117. FAINT, MAKE A LEFT ON VINTON, CUT A CHUNK OUT OF YOUR HAIR,

118. ALL THESE HOUSES,

119. IN THIS BACKYARD.

120. ROGER.

121. HECHE, THIS IS YOU.

122. HERE, HERE, AND HERE.

123. Take two tabs of ecstasy, turj up woodland.

124. Fire hydrant ten times.

125. Break into this house,

126. Rub lipstick all over your face and collapse in the bathtub.

127. PIECE OF CAKE.

128. ALL MY CLOTHES?

129. YOUR CALL, MARGOT.

130. Remember, ladies, If we're caught —

131. sunstroke.

132. LET'S FIND THAT DOG.

133. APPLESAUCE, STYROFOAM, "MAMALUKITHE," MAYONNAISE,

134. LIKE A PRETTY, PRETTY RAINBOW.

135. RABBIT, INDIAN, HORSESHOE, WHERE IS MY FATHER?

136. MEATBALLS?

137. CANDLES, YOU'RE NOT MY REGULAR DOCTOR.

138. MOTHBALLS PETTICOAT.

139. STOP IGNORING ME, I HAVE A GRAPEFRUIT!

140. CLARK, WHERE WERE YOU?

141. GOOD WORK, KIDDER.

142. THAT'S THE OWL, ALL RIGHT.

143. OH, MY GOD, CORKY!

144. GOOD NEWS, MA'AM, WE FOUND YOUR TIGER.

145. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?

146. WE'D FIND HIM.

147. BASHING HIS GODDAMNED FACE IN.

148. WOW, WE'RE HEROES.

149. TO THE POLICE DEPARTMENT.

150. KIDDER, DOWNEY AND HECHE, YOU'VE GOTTA HELP ME!

151. I CAN'T FIND MY SON!

152. WE'RE ON IT, SIR.

153. JASON, JASON, JASON?

154. FUCKING BULLSHIT!

155. WHAT'S THE MATTER, BROTHER?

156. BUG OFF.

157. YOU SEEM SAD.

158. WHY DON'T YOU JOIN US AT THE COMMUNITY CENTER?

159. COMMUNITY WHAT?

160. HONEY, WHERE'S JASON?

161. I DON'T SEE HIM ANYWHERE.

162. HE RAN OFF, SOMETHING ABOUT GOING AWAY FOREVER.

163. AND YOU LET HIM GO?

164. MM-HMM.

165. RUN OFF INTO THE CITY?

166. OH, COME ON, HOW MUCH TROUBLE COULD HE GET INTO?

167. I'M A CHICKEN, I'M IN A CULT,

168. I WAS ANGRY AT MY FATHER.

169. ALOHA AGAIN!

170. THERE'S A STAR FOR EVERY STATE

171. 50th STATE OF AMERICA.

172. LET'S GIVE HAWAII ITS OWN SPECIAL PLACE TODAY.

173. YAY, HAWAII!

174. NOW TAKE A LOOK AT THIS.

175. AND ARE TO BE CLEAN,

176. MAY DWELL WITHIN US.

177. BILLY'S AGE USUALLY GET URGES

178. UNDERSTAND.

179. IF YOU'RE NOT

180. IN THE EYES OF THE LORD,

181. TO HAVE A BOWEL MOVEMENT.

182. EMOTIONAL STRESS.

183. WHILE IT'S TRUE THAT IT'S NOT HARMFUL

184. UNLESS PRACTICED IN THE EXTREME,

185. THE GOSPEL PLAN.

186. AS THE APOSTLE, PETER, SAID,

187. "SATAN IS ALWAYS TEMPTING US,

188. SOMEONE TO DEVOUR."

189. NOTHING BUT TROUBLE.

190. BE EMPTIED OCCASIONALLY,

191. AT NIGHT, DURING SLEEP.

192. OFTEN, THIS CAN

193. FLOATING DOWN A RIVER.

194. EMISSION.

195. DON'T WORRY, IT'S ALL PART OF THE NORMAL PROCESS.

196. BUT IT'S SATAN WHO ALWAYS

197. MOVEMENTS BEFORE WE ARE READY.

198. A BOWEL MOVEMENT IS STRONG,

199. YELL, "STOP" IN YOUR MIND AS LOUD AS YOU CAN.

200. SING YOUR FAVORITE HYMN.

201. PARISH PRIEST.

202. INDULGE IN A BOWEL MOVEMENT,

203. IS FINALLY RIGHT,

204. HAVE IMAGINED.

205. WON'T YOU FEEL BETTER

206. AND WAIT 'TIL YOU'RE READY,

207. TO GOD'S PLAN?

208. SHOW PATIENCE, SHOW DILIGENCE,

209. AND GOD WILL REWARD YOU.

210. OF TV "FUNWAII."

211. PRAYING IN ARAB CHURCH,

212. BUT LOOK WHO'S HERE!

213. HEY, DOUG, WICKIE WACKIE WOO.

214. HEY, ROCKY, HOW YOU DOING?

215. TERRIFIC, IT'S HAWAII DAY!

216. YES, IT IS.

217. WE'RE GONNA HAVE A,

218. THANKS, WE'RE GONNA HAVE FUN.

219. YES.

220. HEY, WHAT'D YOU MAKE?

221. OH, I GAVE HAWAII ITS OWN FLAG.

222. COOL!

223. YEAH, IT'S EASY.

224. SOME SCISSORS, A STAPLER,

225. AND THE AMERICAN FLAG.

226. HEY, I WANNA—

227. A HAWAIIAN FLAG.

228. CAN I BORROW THE SCISSORS?

229. HOLD IT, I ALREADY USED THE STAR FOR HAWAII.

230. AMERICAN FLAG.

231. OKEE-DOKE.

232. WE'LL SEE YOU AFTER THIS.

233. NO, NO, NOT YET.

234. JASON! JASON!

235. YOU SEEN A CHICK AROUND HERE, HE LIKES PORN?

236. HEY, I'M ASKING YOU A QUESTION, MAN.

237. YEAH, WOOF YOU.

238. I'M JUST ASKING YOU A QUESTION.

239. DO YOU KNOW A 5-INCH CHICK

240. WHO HAS A LACTATING FETISH?

241. PERIOD!

242. HE'S AN IDIOT.

243. HE'S ABOUT 5 INCHES TALL.

244. 4, 4 INCHES.

245. 4 INCHES TALL, A GOOD-LOOKING KID.

246. I DIDN'T SEE HIM AROUND.

247. OF ROLOS, THEN.

248. AND A LOTTO TICKET, PLEASE.

249. HOW MUCH ARE THESE?

250. 25.

251. SCREW IT.

252. DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, CHICKIE, IT'S GOING TO BE FINE.

253. CHICKIE, IT'S NOT GOOD.

254. JASON!

255. WHAT IS THIS CRAP?

256. HE'S JOINED THAT KRISHVU CULT, CHICKIE.

257. CHICKIE?

258. CHICKIE?

259. CHICKIE, ARE YOU THERE?

260. CHICKIE, IT'S OKAY.

261. CHICKIE, THIS HAPPENS TO PARENTS ALL THE TIME.

262. CHICKIE, WE'RE ALL GOING TO TRY FOR YOU.

263. WE'RE ALL YOUR FRIENDS, WE ALL CARE ABOUT YOU,

264. AND WE ALL LOVE YOU.

265. OH, MY GOD, MY KID'S A FREAK, I'M A BAD FATHER!

266. CALM DOWN, CHICKIE, WE CAN GET HIM BACK.

267. IT'S MY FAULT!

268. AND THE WIFE'S, BUT MOSTLY MINE.

269. I HATE MYSELF, I AM UGLY!

270. I HATE MY LIFE.

271. COME BACK, CHICKIE!

272. LET HIM GO.

273. RIGHT NOW, THE BEST THING WE CAN DO IS PRAY.

274. OUR FATHER, WHO ART IN HEAVEN,

275. HALLOWED BE THY NAME.

276. THY KINGDOM COME, THY WILL BE DONE,

277. WHO TRESPASS AGAINST US.

278. "MAKALAKOOKA," FOLKS!

279. GUESS WHAT?

280. I FIGURE SINCE WE DIDN'T

281. HERE FOR HAWAII DAY, I'D INVITE MY GRANDPA.

282. WORLD WAR TWO.

283. YOU SEE, GRANDPA DALE

284. AND ROCKY, DO YOU KNOW

285. AROUND THIS TIME?

286. SURE DO, DOUGSY.

287. WE COMMEMORATE PEARL HARBOR.

288. AND HOW DO WE DO IT?

289. OF SILENCE.

290. WHERE'S BILLY, IT'S ALMOST DINNERTIME?

291. LOOK, I FOUND AN APHID!

292. WELL, LET'S TAKE A RIDE

293. AND SET THE LITTLE GUY FREE.

294. NOT SO FAST, YOU'RE UNDER "ATTACK."

295. UNWANTED PESTS?

296. STOPS ROACHES DEAD.

297. I'M REALLY GONNA MAKE SOMETHING OF MY LIFE.

298. NOT IF "ATTACK" HAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH IT!

299. AND "ATTACK" DOESN'T STOP THERE.

300. MARTHA, MY DARLING.

301. OF SCRIMPING AND SAVING,

302. TO RETIRE.

303. DON'T STAND A CHANCE.

304. FOR ALL ETERNITY.

305. HEARTS THAT THIS IS TRUE.

306. NO!

307. SO ATTACK WITH "ATTACK."

308. AS YOUR PERSONAL SAVIOR?

309. TESTED ON ANIMALS.

310. WHAT THE HELL?

311. HANK, HANK, HANK, HANK, HANK, HANK, HANK, HANK,

312. HANK, HANK, HANK.

313. HANK! HUH?

314. HE'S FOUND THE KID,

315. WE CAN STOP PRAYING.

316. TO UNITE IN KRISHNU?

317. ON THE 20-YARD LINE.

318. OKAY, WHISKERS, ON THREE, WE CALL FOR JASON, OKAY?

319. ONE, TWO, THREE—

320. JASON!

321. HEY, DON'T EAT THE KID!

322. COULD YOU NOT EAT THE KID, PLEASE?

323. WHISKERS, WHISKERS, GET OUT OF IT, MAN.

324. OF YOURSELF.

325. WHOSE ARM WAS THAT?

326. MAKES YOU THINK, HUH?

327. THEIR TESTICLES.

328. DON'T EAT THE KIDS' BALLS.