1. Phil Collins:
I've always wanted to run my own
businessCopy !req
2. and now the dream is real.Copy !req
3. Me and Randy are having the
grand openingCopy !req
4. of the Dirty Burger today.Copy !req
5. Randy's a hustler baby! Whoo.Copy !req
6. Look at these dirty things here
cooking up nice.Copy !req
7. Whoa baby!Copy !req
8. I'm really happy for Randy with
this business venture.Copy !req
9. I think him and Phil doing
something that they obviouslyCopy !req
10. are really passionate about is
just fantastic.Copy !req
11. Philly! Need some help here
bud.Copy !req
12. What was that old buddy?Copy !req
13. I need you to take over.Copy !req
14. I've got to start practicing for
the big jump!Copy !req
15. Oh, don't worry Randy. You'll
make her buddy.Copy !req
16. You might want to lighten up on
the dope though a bit eh.Copy !req
17. Our asses are on the line here.Copy !req
18. Well, everybody in the park's
talking about RandyCopy !req
19. and his big plan to jump over
the cheeseburger.Copy !req
20. You know, I think it's a great
idea,Copy !req
21. although he's probably not going
to make it.Copy !req
22. Of course he's not. But who
cares.Copy !req
23. You know, I really believe in
Randy.Copy !req
24. He's confident, he's smart, he's
sexy.Copy !req
25. He's kind of sweatier than
usual, but that's okay.Copy !req
26. He's working so hard to make
sure that things work outCopy !req
27. with this stunt for me, for Trin
andCopy !req
28. for whoever this guy is going to
be, you know.Copy !req
29. Dirty balls!Copy !req
30. Oh my god, hon, are you okay?Copy !req
31. Yeah, I'm fine. Yup.Copy !req
32. Here.Copy !req
33. Ah! Ah, rooster nuts.Copy !req
34. My back! I just gotta hit the
ramp a bit quicker Luce.Copy !req
35. Well, you know what they say.Copy !req
36. Practice makes perfect right?
Here, let me.Copy !req
37. I'll help you with this.Copy !req
38. Yeah right. Thanks.Copy !req
39. Ah! Frozen mixed vegetable
cocks!Copy !req
40. Poor Jacob got dysentery from
eating salamanders in the woods.Copy !req
41. He's dehydrated and pretty sick.Copy !req
42. Ricky and Julian almost killed
him.Copy !req
43. I've been taking care of him for
a few days.Copy !req
44. Hey Sarah. How is he?Copy !req
45. He's good. He's still sleeping.Copy !req
46. Okay.Copy !req
47. Tom Collins:
Hey Jacob. Jacob.Copy !req
48. Wake up little buddy.Copy !req
49. We gotta get some food into you.Copy !req
50. It's time to kiss the burgers.Copy !req
51. Sarah? Sarah, is that okay?Copy !req
52. Yeah, just one small bite.Copy !req
53. Okay.Copy !req
54. Right here Jacob, come on. Sit
up. That's it.Copy !req
55. How are they? They're too spicy.
They're too damned spicy.Copy !req
56. Dad, they're amazing! They're
amazing!Copy !req
57. I put in too much spice.Copy !req
58. Shhhh!Copy !req
59. How is it son?Copy !req
60. Better than the restaurant.Copy !req
61. Baaaaaaaaaaaam!Copy !req
62. Baaaaaaaaaam!Copy !req
63. Come on son, let's hear a
baaaaam!Copy !req
64. Not doing it Dad.Copy !req
65. Ah. I got my boys, I got my
burgers.Copy !req
66. That's all I got. I need to hear
a baaaaam!Copy !req
67. Just do it, Thomas.Copy !req
68. Thomas.Copy !req
69. Please.Copy !req
70. Bam!Copy !req
71. Like you mean it. Please.Copy !req
72. Dad, you know I don't like
saying bam, you guys always.Copy !req
73. It's not my style.Copy !req
74. It doesn't matter. It's for
Jacob.Copy !req
75. It bothers me.Copy !req
76. Just do it!Copy !req
77. Dad, you are fucked!Copy !req
78. How are you doing, sweetie?Copy !req
79. Good? Are you going to be okay
by yourselfCopy !req
80. if I go out with your Dad and
your brother for a bit?Copy !req
81. Yeah, yeah, fine. Has Julian
been asking about me?Copy !req
82. Do you want to take that?Copy !req
83. Jacob. This Julian stuff.Copy !req
84. It's weird. It has to stop
okay.Copy !req
85. It's fucked up. It's fucked up.Copy !req
86. Lay off the Julian stuff.Copy !req
87. Barb Lahey:
Barb, my burning
desire for your loveCopy !req
88. can't not be extinguished like
fire.Copy !req
89. Meet me at the White Rose Inn on
the LakeCopy !req
90. for all to get revealed. Your
secret admirer.Copy !req
91. Hah!Copy !req
92. Mr.
You looking at Julian's bum,
Barb?Copy !req
93. Don't be foolish, Jim.Copy !req
94. Lighten up, eh.Copy !req
95. Hey Shitty.Copy !req
96. Shitty Bill:
Hi there.Copy !req
97. What do you think Julian?Copy !req
98. Bubbles, we can't use this piece
of shit.Copy !req
99. We'll get pulled over man.Copy !req
100. Boys, check it out.Copy !req
101. What the fuck!Copy !req
102. Hey guys.Copy !req
103. How you feeling buddy?Copy !req
104. Good. I was wondering if I could
work for you guys again.Copy !req
105. Are you sure you got your
strength back?Copy !req
106. I'm still feeling pretty weak,Copy !req
107. but I could mix drinks for you
or get stuff.Copy !req
108. Alright, well you can start
working again,Copy !req
109. but just small stuff for now.Copy !req
110. I don't want to see you getting
fucked overCopy !req
111. like you did in the woods,
alright.Copy !req
112. Oh man, that sounds like Thomas.Copy !req
113. What are you doing out of bed?Copy !req
114. I just came to see my friends.
Is that okay?Copy !req
115. Oh, nice job there, son of the
mustard tiger.Copy !req
116. My Dad is not a mustard tiger.Copy !req
117. Oh, okay.Copy !req
118. Why are you still dressed up
like JulianCopy !req
119. with the goatie and the black T-
shirt? It's embarrassing.Copy !req
120. Thomas.Copy !req
121. What's wrong with trying to
dress like Julian, huh?Copy !req
122. You with your big muscular car
and you don't have any muscles.Copy !req
123. Ricky!Copy !req
124. Fuck!Copy !req
125. Sixteen years of positive
thinking and educationCopy !req
126. have manifested themselves in a
mint condition 1967 RS Camaro.Copy !req
127. Ca-ma-ro!Copy !req
128. Come on Jacob, let's get out of
here right now.Copy !req
129. We're going right now.Copy !req
130. Thomas!Copy !req
131. It's okay. It's okay.Copy !req
132. Why are you embarrassing me in
front of my friends.Copy !req
133. Jacob, go spend the day with
your Dad, okay?Copy !req
134. Are you sure Julian?Copy !req
135. Yeah, go for it.Copy !req
136. Tell your god-damned walrus
daddy and RandyCopy !req
137. good luck with their stupid jump
the cheeseburger horseshit.Copy !req
138. It's fucking dumb!Copy !req
139. That guy is intense!Copy !req
140. Mr.
Well, if you hadn't driven him
away by busting his cockCopy !req
141. over every little thing, Randy
would still be very much part of
our lives Barb.Copy !req
142. Busting his, oh my god.Copy !req
143. Jim, you are still in love with
him, aren't you?Copy !req
144. That's why you're going to this
stupid burger jumpCopy !req
145. with the greasy Phil Collins,
isn't it?Copy !req
146. Mr.
Like I already told you, I'm
only doing crowd control Barb.Copy !req
147. Just doing my job. Don't be
ridiculous.Copy !req
148. Oh ridiculous.Copy !req
149. You haven't got time to take me
line dancing butCopy !req
150. you've got loads of time to go
and watch Randy on some bike,Copy !req
151. stoned, jump over some
inflatable cheeseburgerCopy !req
152. to promote his new restaurant.Copy !req
153. Mr.
I'm not just doing it for Randy,
Barb.Copy !req
154. No, well why are you wearing
cologne then?Copy !req
155. Mr.
Why are you wearing cowboy boots
from some unknown admirer?Copy !req
156. Oh, oh, so now you're busting my
dinkCopy !req
157. for having a secret admirer?Copy !req
158. Now what am I supposed to do
about that Jim, huh? What?Copy !req
159. Mr.
Look Barb, all I'm saying here
is that if anybody should be
mad, it's me.Copy !req
160. Barb Lahey:
Oh well, at least somebody is
paying attention to me for a
change.Copy !req
161. Mr.
Oh, that's all that matters,
isn't it?Copy !req
162. The princess has to be paid
attention to.Copy !req
163. Look at me, I'm Miss Spoiled
Rich GirlCopy !req
164. whose family owns the trailer
park.Copy !req
165. And I go to university.Copy !req
166. Oh, very good impression Jim.Copy !req
167. But you know what?Copy !req
168. You neglected to add one or two
points likeCopy !req
169. I
am in a relationship with a manCopy !req
170. who is in love with another man
who eats fifteen cheeseburgers a
dayCopy !req
171. and rides around the park, high
on marijuana cigarettes.Copy !req
172. Mr.
Barb, maybe you should lay off
the alcohol just for a couple?Copy !req
173. Oh, do you think? Do you think
Jim?Copy !req
174. Because you know what, I'm going
to be totally honest with you
and it's,Copy !req
175. you know, it's a bit ironic
actually but, since you stopped
drinking,Copy !req
176. you are not half as much fun.Copy !req
177. Mr.
Barb, I'm doing my best here.Copy !req
178. Jim, I wish you'd start drinking
again!Copy !req
179. Oh Randy, are you okay?Copy !req
180. Oh, sweet and sour chicken
balls.Copy !req
181. I think I sprained it Luce.Copy !req
182. Is it bad?Copy !req
183. Yeah, it hurts.Copy !req
184. Oh, coat of arse cocks.Copy !req
185. Okay, you know what, we're going
to go back to my place,Copy !req
186. put some ice on this. You are
going to be fine.Copy !req
187. This is not a problem. Couple of
hours max.Copy !req
188. Alfred Hitchcock!Copy !req
189. Randy, enough with the cocks.Copy !req
190. Alright, let's just go.Copy !req
191. You know, you'll just walk it
off.Copy !req
192. Randy, everyone's, you know,
depending on you.Copy !req
193. I don't know if I can do this.Copy !req
194. Horseshit. Oh course you're
going to do it.Copy !req
195. Why can't your Dad do it?Copy !req
196. Randy, think about it.Copy !req
197. He's not an athlete like you
are.Copy !req
198. He can't jump over cheeseburgers
on a bike.Copy !req
199. He'll be making the burgers.Copy !req
200. Come on, Randy. It has to be
you.Copy !req
201. Thomas is absolutely right.Copy !req
202. You can do it man.Copy !req
203. The Randy Man can!Copy !req
204. Guys, guess what these are?Copy !req
205. Milk cartons.Copy !req
206. Nope.Copy !req
207. Box cars for dope probably.Copy !req
208. You got her man!Copy !req
209. Things are looking good boys.Copy !req
210. Yeah, I'll say things are
looking good.Copy !req
211. Can I, can I have a little word
with you Julian please?Copy !req
212. They fit perfectly.Copy !req
213. Okay?Copy !req
214. So, thank you very very very
much.Copy !req
215. Thank you?Copy !req
216. Oh come on, Julian.Copy !req
217. I think that we can put an end
to this little charade.Copy !req
218. What the fuck are they talking
about?Copy !req
219. Greasy stuff I'd say.Copy !req
220. I think they might be banging.
Look at them.Copy !req
221. How much have you had to drink
today?Copy !req
222. Enough to know that I am
finished with Jim andCopy !req
223. I can finally go with you to the
White Rose Inn on the Lake,
sexy.Copy !req
224. What are you talking about?Copy !req
225. Oh Julian, come on. I know.Copy !req
226. I know, that you are my secret
admirer.Copy !req
227. Well that's quite a step up in
the world from banging Randy and
LaheyCopy !req
228. to banging Julian, isn't it?Copy !req
229. That's a weird thought Ricky.Copy !req
230. There must be some kind of
misunderstanding Barb.Copy !req
231. I have no idea what you are
talking about.Copy !req
232. Well, right. Well.Copy !req
233. Thank goodness for
that.Copy !req
234. That would have been weird.Copy !req
235. Don't get me wrong.Copy !req
236. I'm flattered and everything
okay.Copy !req
237. But love is going to come when
you least expect it.Copy !req
238. Don't worry, it's going to
happen.Copy !req
239. Surprise Phil. Found you.Copy !req
240. I'm here for my seventy-five
dollars. Rent's due.Copy !req
241. Sam what are you doing here
today, man? I told you
tomorrow.Copy !req
242. I'm opening up here today, I can
make seventy-five bucks easy.Copy !req
243. No Phil. Today.Copy !req
244. This is my opening day. Don't
fuck it up.Copy !req
245. I don't give a shit. Seventy-
five dollars.Copy !req
246. It's only seventy-five bucks
Sam.Copy !req
247. Seventy-five dollars, seventy-
five cents, I don't give a fuck.Copy !req
248. It's mine, I want it, I want it
now. Or Plan B for you big guy.Copy !req
249. Yeah well the whole Plan B means
you brushing your cave teeth
with a log.Copy !req
250. Cave teeth? Cave teeth!Copy !req
251. It's fucking on, Phil. It's
fucking on.Copy !req
252. Why do you gotta make this get
fucking ugly Phil?Copy !req
253. Just give me my seventy-five
dollars.Copy !req
254. Shouldn't you be at a water
buffalo lodge meeting or
something?Copy !req
255. Did you not hear me, pseu-
pseudio?Copy !req
256. Fuck!Copy !req
257. Now get behind the fucking
wheel.Copy !req
258. The cave man's in charge. We're
going to an instant teller.Copy !req
259. Ricky, are you alright?Copy !req
260. A fucking lot better than the
person who shot meCopy !req
261. is going to be when I fucking
find them!Copy !req
262. Who the fuck shot me?Copy !req
263. Fuck! Tell him, tell him, fuck,
I don't know.Copy !req
264. Tell him to go fuck himself.Copy !req
265. Rick, go, go fuck yourself
buddy.Copy !req
266. Did you fucking shoot me Phil?
Huh?Copy !req
267. Drive us the fuck out of here!Copy !req
268. Please Sam, I need this RV.Copy !req
269. It's the only thing I got man.Copy !req
270. I'll pay you back tomorrow, I
promise.Copy !req
271. Fuck your stupid Dirty Burgers.Copy !req
272. Drive!Copy !req
273. Nice fuck up Phil.Copy !req
274. Shut up Flintstone.Copy !req
275. I'm under a lot of pressure
here.Copy !req
276. Fuck off.Copy !req
277. Mr.
Everybody get back.Copy !req
278. Phil, you in there? What's
going on bud?Copy !req
279. It's Sam. He's holding me
hostage.Copy !req
280. I need your help Jimmy boy.Copy !req
281. Shut the fuck up!Copy !req
282. Mr.
Yeah, shut up Phil. Sam, Jim
Lahey.Copy !req
283. What!Copy !req
284. Mr.
Officer Jim Lahey.Copy !req
285. So!Copy !req
286. Mr.
Listen, I want you to talk to
me.Copy !req
287. What's going on bud? What do
you want this time?Copy !req
288. I just want you all to fuck off!Copy !req
289. Mr.
Sam, it's gone a bit far for
that.Copy !req
290. We're going to have to take this
downtown.Copy !req
291. Look, I'm putting my gun away
bud.Copy !req
292. Put down your weapon.Copy !req
293. Put your hands up and come on
out.Copy !req
294. I'll count to ten.Copy !req
295. OneCopy !req
296. Ricky, are you alright?Copy !req
297. Yeah, I'm fine.Copy !req
298. Back off Lucy.Copy !req
299. Fuck off Randy.Copy !req
300. Julian, don't wipe Randy's old
dirty sweat on me.Copy !req
301. Fuck downtown.Copy !req
302. Let's get the fuck out of here.Copy !req
303. Drive, easy lover, drive!Copy !req
304. Oh my god!Copy !req
305. Mr.
You're making a big mistake,
Sam.Copy !req
306. He better not fucking hit our
trailer.Copy !req
307. Man's voice:
Stop Phil!Copy !req
308. That's what happens when you
kidnap a dinosaurCopy !req
309. you fucking cave dwelling prick.Copy !req
310. Barb?Copy !req
311. Will you get out of the way with
the stupid Dirty Burger?Copy !req
312. Let me out of the park!Copy !req
313. Move it Phil.Copy !req
314. Mr.
Stand back everyone.Copy !req
315. They're coming out.Copy !req
316. Sam, what are you doing, running
around the park, waving a gun
again?Copy !req
317. Nobody fucking move! I'm
searching for lost love Barb.Copy !req
318. How do you like the boots? Yes.Copy !req
319. This isn't how I wanted to tell
you Barb,Copy !req
320. but I'm your secret admirer.Copy !req
321. I love you baby.Copy !req
322. So all the gifts were from you?Copy !req
323. Every one.Copy !req
324. Mr.
Let Phil Collins go, Sam.Copy !req
325. Not til I get my money.Copy !req
326. Mr.
Right now.Copy !req
327. Seventy-five dollars.Copy !req
328. Seventy-five dollars? Here's
one hundred.Copy !req
329. Does that settle it? Does that
settle it?Copy !req
330. What's wrong with you?Copy !req
331. None of you fucking guys know
who I'm in for.Copy !req
332. None of you, none of you.Copy !req
333. Mr.
Sam, it's time to take a little
trip downtown.Copy !req
334. No, Jim, Jim, Jim.Copy !req
335. Let, let, let him say what's on
his mind.Copy !req
336. Fucking caves and rocks.Copy !req
337. Cars with no floors, swinging
from fucking vines.Copy !req
338. You shot me, you prickCopy !req
339. Barb.Copy !req
340. Barb. Barb.Copy !req
341. I've banged, made love to a lot
of women in my life.Copy !req
342. And a couple of dudes too, but
that's not important.Copy !req
343. What's important is, I can't not
live with no woman but you.Copy !req
344. I love you baby.Copy !req
345. Just you.Copy !req
346. Sam, I, I might be drunk but
that isCopy !req
347. the sweetest thing anybody's
ever said to me.Copy !req
348. Come away with this old cave man
Barb.Copy !req
349. To the White Rose Inn.Copy !req
350. They got a great muffin there
baby.Copy !req
351. Yeah.Copy !req
352. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I, I will.Copy !req
353. So Jim, are you going to try and
stop me.Copy !req
354. You deserve better, Mr. Lahey.Copy !req
355. Mr.
Well, if that's what you want
Barb.Copy !req
356. Thanks Jim. Let's go.Copy !req
357. Will somebody please try to
explain what the fuck just
happened here?Copy !req
358. Cave man always gets the girl
Ricky.Copy !req
359. Boys, I can't go through with
this opening.Copy !req
360. Dad!Copy !req
361. The Dirty Burger almost killed
me, boys.Copy !req
362. Fuck it! To hell with it.Copy !req
363. Come on Dad. Give me a bam!
Come on Dad.Copy !req
364. No, not now son. Not now.Copy !req
365. Jacob and Tom:
Bammmmmmm!Copy !req
366. Boys, I can't give you a bam,
but I can give you aCopy !req
367. green eggs and hammmmmmm!Copy !req
368. ammmmmmmmmm!Copy !req
369. We can do this!Copy !req
370. il:
Thanks girls. That's great.Copy !req
371. Just line em up here.
Lots for the customers.Copy !req
372. How are you doing, Mr. Lahey?Copy !req
373. Mr.
Randy, I'm begging you.Copy !req
374. Please don't do this. I can't
take it.Copy !req
375. I'm this close to going back to
drinking bud.Copy !req
376. It wouldn't be my fault Mr.
Lahey.Copy !req
377. Listen, you got any dope on ya?Copy !req
378. Mr.
No I don't Randy.Copy !req
379. Are you sure you can do this
without killing yourself?Copy !req
380. Thanks for the vote of
confidence Mr. Lahey.Copy !req
381. Hey Rand, come over and get your
gear on buddy.Copy !req
382. Are you going to do this thing
or what Randy?Copy !req
383. Geez guys, my ankle's a little
sore.Copy !req
384. I don't know if I can do this.Copy !req
385. Randy, make this jump, you'll be
a living legend.Copy !req
386. No telling how far the Dirty
Burger'll go, huh?Copy !req
387. I don't know if I can do it
guys. I really don't know.Copy !req
388. Man, it'll look great.Copy !req
389. Don't you worry about it. Let's
get this gear on.Copy !req
390. Ladies and
Gentlemen.Copy !req
391. The moment you've all been
waiting for.Copy !req
392. Randy will jump the
cheeseburger.Copy !req
393. You look fucking stupid with all
that paddingCopy !req
394. and shit on Randy, you dummy.Copy !req
395. Come on Randy! What's that?Copy !req
396. Oh, nice jump Randy.Copy !req
397. Whoo!Copy !req
398. I can't do this guys. I can't
do it unless I'm stoned.Copy !req
399. Come on man, it's the Dirty
Burger.Copy !req
400. You've got to. There's no choice
in the matter.Copy !req
401. I've gotta be high. I'm not
doing it.Copy !req
402. Randy Jesus! You've got to
fucking do it man.Copy !req
403. Dad, take it easy!Copy !req
404. Frig off.Copy !req
405. Dad! Dad, you're losing it.Copy !req
406. That whole family is so fucked!Copy !req
407. Dad, please take it easy!Copy !req
408. You're taking this Dirty Burger
thing way too seriously Phil.Copy !req
409. If I had some dope, I'd do this.Copy !req
410. Well go see your precious Julian
and get him some dope.Copy !req
411. Dad, he can't be on drugs when
he does the jump.Copy !req
412. He's got to be. We have no
choice.Copy !req
413. Drugs are wrong.Copy !req
414. Any other time but we gotta do
it up.Copy !req
415. Just fucking do it!Copy !req
416. Let me see if I can hook us up
Thomas.Copy !req
417. What the fuck do you want
toughie?Copy !req
418. I'm not here to fight, okay?Copy !req
419. Randy will not make that jump
unless he's high on marijuana.Copy !req
420. High on marijuana.
Big fucking surprise!Copy !req
421. Well, you're not getting it from
me cause this is my personal
stock.Copy !req
422. From the captain's cupboard,
alright.Copy !req
423. It's my best stuff and I'm not
giving it to Randy.Copy !req
424. Come on, it's an emergency guys.Copy !req
425. We just need a bud. Please
Julian.Copy !req
426. Ricky, just give him a hit off
this thingCopy !req
427. so we can get this jump underway
please!Copy !req
428. Randy, are you going to do this
or are you too fucking scared?Copy !req
429. Ricky, I just need to get high.Copy !req
430. Fuck you're sweating.Copy !req
431. No shit.Copy !req
432. Yeah man, that's why I'm here.Copy !req
433. Be careful with that.
It's my personal stuff.Copy !req
434. It's kick ass. You only need
a little tiny bit.Copy !req
435. Thanks a lot Ricky.Copy !req
436. This is awesome.
You saved the day.Copy !req
437. Alright, that's good.Copy !req
438. That's all you need man.
I'm serious.Copy !req
439. Get the fuck out there and don't
let us down.Copy !req
440. We're all high as fuck. Good
luck.Copy !req
441. Thanks Rick.Copy !req
442. Alright, he's going to do it.Copy !req
443. Look at him. He looks like a
hairy robot.Copy !req
444. He's pretty fucking high.Copy !req
445. Oh my god, he's down.Copy !req
446. Somebody call an ambulance.Copy !req
447. Mr.
Randy.Copy !req
448. Randy, are you okay?Copy !req
449. This is drugs. See what drugs
did.Copy !req
450. Fuck, don't fucking shove me.Copy !req
451. Can't you see I've been shot
here you fucking walrus.Copy !req
452. We did it Phil.Copy !req
453. We sure did Randy. We sure did.Copy !req
454. Hang in there Randy.Copy !req
455. Take it easy honey. Get well,
soon.Copy !req
456. Poor Randy.Copy !req