1. Phil Collins:
I've always wanted to run my own
businessCopy !req
2. and now the dream is real.Copy !req
3. Me and Randy are having the
grand openingCopy !req
4. of the Dirty Burger today.Copy !req
5. Randy's a hustler baby! Whoo.Copy !req
6. Look at these dirty things here
cooking up nice.Copy !req
7. Whoa baby!Copy !req
8. I'm really happy for Randy with
this business venture.Copy !req
9. I think him and Phil doing
something that they obviouslyCopy !req
10. are really passionate about is
just fantastic.Copy !req
11. Philly! Need some help here
bud.Copy !req
12. What was that old buddy?Copy !req
13. I need you to take over.Copy !req
14. I've got to start practicing for
the big jump!Copy !req
15. Oh, don't worry Randy. You'll
make her buddy.Copy !req
16. You might want to lighten up on
the dope though a bit eh.Copy !req
17. Our asses are on the line here.Copy !req
18. Well, everybody in the park's
talking about RandyCopy !req
19. and his big plan to jump over
the cheeseburger.Copy !req
20. You know, I think it's a great
idea,Copy !req
21. although he's probably not going
to make it.Copy !req
22. Of course he's not. But who
cares.Copy !req
23. You know, I really believe in
Randy.Copy !req
24. He's confident, he's smart, he's
sexy.Copy !req
25. He's kind of sweatier than
usual, but that's okay.Copy !req
26. He's working so hard to make
sure that things work outCopy !req
27. with this stunt for me, for Trin
andCopy !req
28. for whoever this guy is going to
be, you know.Copy !req
29. Dirty balls!Copy !req
30. Oh my god, hon, are you okay?Copy !req
31. Yeah, I'm fine. Yup.Copy !req
32. Here.Copy !req
33. Ah! Ah, rooster nuts.Copy !req
34. My back! I just gotta hit the
ramp a bit quicker Luce.Copy !req
35. Well, you know what they say.Copy !req
36. Practice makes perfect right?
Here, let me.Copy !req
37. I'll help you with this.Copy !req
38. Yeah right. Thanks.Copy !req
39. Ah! Frozen mixed vegetable
cocks!Copy !req
40. Poor Jacob got dysentery from
eating salamanders in the woods.Copy !req
41. He's dehydrated and pretty sick.Copy !req
42. Ricky and Julian almost killed
him.Copy !req
43. I've been taking care of him for
a few days.Copy !req
44. Hey Sarah. How is he?Copy !req
45. He's good. He's still sleeping.Copy !req
46. Okay.Copy !req
47. Tom Collins:
Hey Jacob. Jacob.Copy !req
48. Wake up little buddy.Copy !req
49. We gotta get some food into you.Copy !req
50. It's time to kiss the burgers.Copy !req
51. Sarah? Sarah, is that okay?Copy !req
52. Yeah, just one small bite.Copy !req
53. Okay.Copy !req
54. Right here Jacob, come on. Sit
up. That's it.Copy !req
55. How are they? They're too spicy.
They're too damned spicy.Copy !req
56. Dad, they're amazing! They're
amazing!Copy !req
57. I put in too much spice.Copy !req
58. Shhhh!Copy !req
59. How is it son?Copy !req
60. Better than the restaurant.Copy !req
61. Baaaaaaaaaaaam!Copy !req
62. Baaaaaaaaaam!Copy !req
63. Come on son, let's hear a
baaaaam!Copy !req
64. Not doing it Dad.Copy !req
65. Ah. I got my boys, I got my
burgers.Copy !req
66. That's all I got. I need to hear
a baaaaam!Copy !req
67. Just do it, Thomas.Copy !req
68. Thomas.Copy !req
69. Please.Copy !req
70. Bam!Copy !req
71. Like you mean it. Please.Copy !req
72. Dad, you know I don't like
saying bam, you guys always.Copy !req
73. It's not my style.Copy !req
74. It doesn't matter. It's for
Jacob.Copy !req
75. It bothers me.Copy !req
76. Just do it!Copy !req
77. Dad, you are fucked!Copy !req
78. How are you doing, sweetie?Copy !req
79. Good? Are you going to be okay
by yourselfCopy !req
80. if I go out with your Dad and
your brother for a bit?Copy !req
81. Yeah, yeah, fine. Has Julian
been asking about me?Copy !req
82. Do you want to take that?Copy !req
83. Jacob. This Julian stuff.Copy !req
84. It's weird. It has to stop
okay.Copy !req
85. It's fucked up. It's fucked up.Copy !req
86. Lay off the Julian stuff.Copy !req
87. Barb Lahey:
Barb, my burning
desire for your loveCopy !req
88. can't not be extinguished like
fire.Copy !req
89. Meet me at the White Rose Inn on
the LakeCopy !req
90. for all to get revealed. Your
secret admirer.Copy !req
91. Hah!Copy !req
92. Mr.
You looking at Julian's bum,
Barb?Copy !req
93. Don't be foolish, Jim.Copy !req
94. Lighten up, eh.Copy !req
95. Hey Shitty.Copy !req
96. Shitty Bill:
Hi there.Copy !req
97. What do you think Julian?Copy !req
98. Bubbles, we can't use this piece
of shit.Copy !req
99. We'll get pulled over man.Copy !req
100. Boys, check it out.Copy !req
101. What the fuck!Copy !req
102. Hey guys.Copy !req
103. How you feeling buddy?Copy !req
104. Good. I was wondering if I could
work for you guys again.Copy !req
105. Are you sure you got your
strength back?Copy !req
106. I'm still feeling pretty weak,Copy !req
107. but I could mix drinks for you
or get stuff.Copy !req
108. Alright, well you can start
working again,Copy !req
109. but just small stuff for now.Copy !req
110. I don't want to see you getting
fucked overCopy !req
111. like you did in the woods,
alright.Copy !req
112. Oh man, that sounds like Thomas.Copy !req
113. What are you doing out of bed?Copy !req
114. I just came to see my friends.
Is that okay?Copy !req
115. Oh, nice job there, son of the
mustard tiger.Copy !req
116. My Dad is not a mustard tiger.Copy !req
117. Oh, okay.Copy !req
118. Why are you still dressed up
like JulianCopy !req
119. with the goatie and the black T-
shirt? It's embarrassing.Copy !req
120. Thomas.Copy !req
121. What's wrong with trying to
dress like Julian, huh?Copy !req
122. You with your big muscular car
and you don't have any muscles.Copy !req
123. Ricky!Copy !req
124. Fuck!Copy !req
125. Sixteen years of positive
thinking and educationCopy !req
126. have manifested themselves in a
mint condition 1967 RS Camaro.Copy !req
127. Ca-ma-ro!Copy !req
128. Come on Jacob, let's get out of
here right now.Copy !req
129. We're going right now.Copy !req
130. Thomas!Copy !req
131. It's okay. It's okay.Copy !req
132. Why are you embarrassing me in
front of my friends.Copy !req
133. Jacob, go spend the day with
your Dad, okay?Copy !req
134. Are you sure Julian?Copy !req
135. Yeah, go for it.Copy !req
136. Tell your god-damned walrus
daddy and RandyCopy !req
137. good luck with their stupid jump
the cheeseburger horseshit.Copy !req
138. It's fucking dumb!Copy !req
139. That guy is intense!Copy !req
140. Mr.
Well, if you hadn't driven him
away by busting his cockCopy !req
141. over every little thing, Randy
would still be very much part of
our lives Barb.Copy !req
142. Busting his, oh my god.Copy !req
143. Jim, you are still in love with
him, aren't you?Copy !req
144. That's why you're going to this
stupid burger jumpCopy !req
145. with the greasy Phil Collins,
isn't it?Copy !req
146. Mr.
Like I already told you, I'm
only doing crowd control Barb.Copy !req
147. Just doing my job. Don't be
ridiculous.Copy !req
148. Oh ridiculous.Copy !req
149. You haven't got time to take me
line dancing butCopy !req
150. you've got loads of time to go
and watch Randy on some bike,Copy !req
151. stoned, jump over some
inflatable cheeseburgerCopy !req
152. to promote his new restaurant.Copy !req
153. Mr.
I'm not just doing it for Randy,
Barb.Copy !req
154. No, well why are you wearing
cologne then?Copy !req
155. Mr.
Why are you wearing cowboy boots
from some unknown admirer?Copy !req
156. Oh, oh, so now you're busting my
dinkCopy !req
157. for having a secret admirer?Copy !req
158. Now what am I supposed to do
about that Jim, huh? What?Copy !req
159. Mr.
Oh, that's all that matters,
isn't it?Copy !req
160. The princess has to be paid
attention to.Copy !req
161. Look at me, I'm Miss Spoiled
Rich GirlCopy !req
162. whose family owns the trailer
park.Copy !req
163. And I go to university.Copy !req
164. Oh, very good impression Jim.Copy !req
165. But you know what?Copy !req
166. You neglected to add one or two
points likeCopy !req
167. I
am in a relationship with a manCopy !req
168. who is in love with another man
who eats fifteen cheeseburgers a
dayCopy !req
169. and rides around the park, high
on marijuana cigarettes.Copy !req
170. Mr.
Barb, maybe you should lay off
the alcohol just for a couple?Copy !req
171. Oh, do you think? Do you think
Jim?Copy !req
172. Because you know what, I'm going
to be totally honest with you
and it's,Copy !req
173. you know, it's a bit ironic
actually but, since you stopped
drinking,Copy !req
174. you are not half as much fun.Copy !req
175. Mr.
Barb, I'm doing my best here.Copy !req
176. Jim, I wish you'd start drinking
again!Copy !req
177. Oh Randy, are you okay?Copy !req
178. Oh, sweet and sour chicken
balls.Copy !req
179. I think I sprained it Luce.Copy !req
180. Is it bad?Copy !req
181. Yeah, it hurts.Copy !req
182. Oh, coat of arse cocks.Copy !req
183. Okay, you know what, we're going
to go back to my place,Copy !req
184. put some ice on this. You are
going to be fine.Copy !req
185. This is not a problem. Couple of
hours max.Copy !req
186. Alfred Hitchcock!Copy !req
187. Randy, enough with the cocks.Copy !req
188. Alright, let's just go.Copy !req
189. You know, you'll just walk it
off.Copy !req
190. Randy, everyone's, you know,
depending on you.Copy !req
191. I don't know if I can do this.Copy !req
192. Horseshit. Oh course you're
going to do it.Copy !req
193. Why can't your Dad do it?Copy !req
194. Randy, think about it.Copy !req
195. He's not an athlete like you
are.Copy !req
196. He can't jump over cheeseburgers
on a bike.Copy !req
197. He'll be making the burgers.Copy !req
198. Come on, Randy. It has to be
you.Copy !req
199. Thomas is absolutely right.Copy !req
200. You can do it man.Copy !req
201. The Randy Man can!Copy !req
202. Guys, guess what these are?Copy !req
203. Milk cartons.Copy !req
204. Nope.Copy !req
205. Box cars for dope probably.Copy !req
206. You got her man!Copy !req
207. Things are looking good boys.Copy !req
208. Yeah, I'll say things are
looking good.Copy !req
209. Can I, can I have a little word
with you Julian please?Copy !req
210. They fit perfectly.Copy !req
211. Okay?Copy !req
212. So, thank you very very very
much.Copy !req
213. Thank you?Copy !req
214. Oh come on, Julian.Copy !req
215. I think that we can put an end
to this little charade.Copy !req
216. What the fuck are they talking
about?Copy !req
217. Greasy stuff I'd say.Copy !req
218. I think they might be banging.
Look at them.Copy !req
219. How much have you had to drink
today?Copy !req
220. Enough to know that I am
finished with Jim andCopy !req
221. I can finally go with you to the
White Rose Inn on the Lake,
sexy.Copy !req
222. What are you talking about?Copy !req
223. Oh Julian, come on. I know.Copy !req
224. I know, that you are my secret
admirer.Copy !req
225. to banging Julian, isn't it?Copy !req
226. That's a weird thought Ricky.Copy !req
227. There must be some kind of
misunderstanding Barb.Copy !req
228. I have no idea what you are
talking about.Copy !req
229. Well, right. Well.Copy !req
230. Thank goodness for
that.Copy !req
231. That would have been weird.Copy !req
232. Don't get me wrong.Copy !req
233. I'm flattered and everything
okay.Copy !req
234. But love is going to come when
you least expect it.Copy !req
235. Don't worry, it's going to
happen.Copy !req
236. Surprise Phil. Found you.Copy !req
237. I'm here for my seventy-five
dollars. Rent's due.Copy !req
238. I'm opening up here today, I can
make seventy-five bucks easy.Copy !req
239. No Phil. Today.Copy !req
240. This is my opening day. Don't
fuck it up.Copy !req
241. I don't give a shit. Seventy-
five dollars.Copy !req
242. It's only seventy-five bucks
Sam.Copy !req
243. Seventy-five dollars, seventy-
five cents, I don't give a fuck.Copy !req
244. It's mine, I want it, I want it
now. Or Plan B for you big guy.Copy !req
245. Cave teeth? Cave teeth!Copy !req
246. It's fucking on, Phil. It's
fucking on.Copy !req
247. Why do you gotta make this get
fucking ugly Phil?Copy !req
248. Just give me my seventy-five
dollars.Copy !req
249. Did you not hear me, pseu-
pseudio?Copy !req
250. Fuck!Copy !req
251. Now get behind the fucking
wheel.Copy !req
252. The cave man's in charge. We're
going to an instant teller.Copy !req
253. Ricky, are you alright?Copy !req
254. A fucking lot better than the
person who shot meCopy !req
255. is going to be when I fucking
find them!Copy !req
256. Who the fuck shot me?Copy !req
257. Fuck! Tell him, tell him, fuck,
I don't know.Copy !req
258. Tell him to go fuck himself.Copy !req
259. Rick, go, go fuck yourself
buddy.Copy !req
260. Did you fucking shoot me Phil?
Huh?Copy !req
261. Drive us the fuck out of here!Copy !req
262. Please Sam, I need this RV.Copy !req
263. It's the only thing I got man.Copy !req
264. I'll pay you back tomorrow, I
promise.Copy !req
265. Fuck your stupid Dirty Burgers.Copy !req
266. Drive!Copy !req
267. Nice fuck up Phil.Copy !req
268. Shut up Flintstone.Copy !req
269. I'm under a lot of pressure
here.Copy !req
270. Fuck off.Copy !req
271. Mr.
Everybody get back.Copy !req
272. Phil, you in there? What's
going on bud?Copy !req
273. It's Sam. He's holding me
hostage.Copy !req
274. I need your help Jimmy boy.Copy !req
275. Shut the fuck up!Copy !req
276. Mr.
Yeah, shut up Phil. Sam, Jim
Lahey.Copy !req
277. What!Copy !req
278. Mr.
Officer Jim Lahey.Copy !req
279. So!Copy !req
280. Mr.
Listen, I want you to talk to
me.Copy !req
281. What's going on bud? What do
you want this time?Copy !req
282. I just want you all to fuck off!Copy !req
283. Mr.
Sam, it's gone a bit far for
that.Copy !req
284. We're going to have to take this
downtown.Copy !req
285. Look, I'm putting my gun away
bud.Copy !req
286. Put down your weapon.Copy !req
287. Put your hands up and come on
out.Copy !req
288. I'll count to ten.Copy !req
289. OneCopy !req
290. Ricky, are you alright?Copy !req
291. Yeah, I'm fine.Copy !req
292. Back off Lucy.Copy !req
293. Fuck off Randy.Copy !req
294. Julian, don't wipe Randy's old
dirty sweat on me.Copy !req
295. Fuck downtown.Copy !req
296. Let's get the fuck out of here.Copy !req
297. Drive, easy lover, drive!Copy !req
298. Oh my god!Copy !req
299. Mr.
You're making a big mistake,
Sam.Copy !req
300. He better not fucking hit our
trailer.Copy !req
301. Man's voice:
Stop Phil!Copy !req
302. That's what happens when you
kidnap a dinosaurCopy !req
303. you fucking cave dwelling prick.Copy !req
304. Barb?Copy !req
305. Will you get out of the way with
the stupid Dirty Burger?Copy !req
306. Let me out of the park!Copy !req
307. Move it Phil.Copy !req
308. Mr.
Stand back everyone.Copy !req
309. They're coming out.Copy !req
310. Nobody fucking move! I'm
searching for lost love Barb.Copy !req
311. How do you like the boots? Yes.Copy !req
312. This isn't how I wanted to tell
you Barb,Copy !req
313. but I'm your secret admirer.Copy !req
314. I love you baby.Copy !req
315. So all the gifts were from you?Copy !req
316. Every one.Copy !req
317. Mr.
Let Phil Collins go, Sam.Copy !req
318. Not til I get my money.Copy !req
319. Mr.
Right now.Copy !req
320. Seventy-five dollars.Copy !req
321. Seventy-five dollars? Here's
one hundred.Copy !req
322. Does that settle it? Does that
settle it?Copy !req
323. What's wrong with you?Copy !req
324. None of you fucking guys know
who I'm in for.Copy !req
325. None of you, none of you.Copy !req
326. Mr.
Sam, it's time to take a little
trip downtown.Copy !req
327. No, Jim, Jim, Jim.Copy !req
328. Let, let, let him say what's on
his mind.Copy !req
329. Fucking caves and rocks.Copy !req
330. Cars with no floors, swinging
from fucking vines.Copy !req
331. You shot me, you prickCopy !req
332. Barb.Copy !req
333. Barb. Barb.Copy !req
334. I've banged, made love to a lot
of women in my life.Copy !req
335. And a couple of dudes too, but
that's not important.Copy !req
336. What's important is, I can't not
live with no woman but you.Copy !req
337. I love you baby.Copy !req
338. Just you.Copy !req
339. Sam, I, I might be drunk but
that isCopy !req
340. the sweetest thing anybody's
ever said to me.Copy !req
341. Come away with this old cave man
Barb.Copy !req
342. To the White Rose Inn.Copy !req
343. They got a great muffin there
baby.Copy !req
344. Yeah.Copy !req
345. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I, I will.Copy !req
346. So Jim, are you going to try and
stop me.Copy !req
347. You deserve better, Mr. Lahey.Copy !req
348. Mr.
Well, if that's what you want
Barb.Copy !req
349. Thanks Jim. Let's go.Copy !req
350. Cave man always gets the girl
Ricky.Copy !req
351. Boys, I can't go through with
this opening.Copy !req
352. Dad!Copy !req
353. The Dirty Burger almost killed
me, boys.Copy !req
354. Fuck it! To hell with it.Copy !req
355. Come on Dad. Give me a bam!
Come on Dad.Copy !req
356. No, not now son. Not now.Copy !req
357. Jacob and Tom:
Bammmmmmm!Copy !req
358. Boys, I can't give you a bam,
but I can give you aCopy !req
359. green eggs and hammmmmmm!Copy !req
360. ammmmmmmmmm!Copy !req
361. We can do this!Copy !req
362. il:
Thanks girls. That's great.Copy !req
363. Just line em up here.
Lots for the customers.Copy !req
364. How are you doing, Mr. Lahey?Copy !req
365. Mr.
Randy, I'm begging you.Copy !req
366. Please don't do this. I can't
take it.Copy !req
367. I'm this close to going back to
drinking bud.Copy !req
368. It wouldn't be my fault Mr.
Lahey.Copy !req
369. Listen, you got any dope on ya?Copy !req
370. Mr.
No I don't Randy.Copy !req
371. Are you sure you can do this
without killing yourself?Copy !req
372. Thanks for the vote of
confidence Mr. Lahey.Copy !req
373. Hey Rand, come over and get your
gear on buddy.Copy !req
374. Are you going to do this thing
or what Randy?Copy !req
375. Geez guys, my ankle's a little
sore.Copy !req
376. I don't know if I can do this.Copy !req
377. Randy, make this jump, you'll be
a living legend.Copy !req
378. No telling how far the Dirty
Burger'll go, huh?Copy !req
379. I don't know if I can do it
guys. I really don't know.Copy !req
380. Man, it'll look great.Copy !req
381. Don't you worry about it. Let's
get this gear on.Copy !req
382. Ladies and
Gentlemen.Copy !req
383. The moment you've all been
waiting for.Copy !req
384. Randy will jump the
cheeseburger.Copy !req
385. You look fucking stupid with all
that paddingCopy !req
386. and shit on Randy, you dummy.Copy !req
387. Come on Randy! What's that?Copy !req
388. Oh, nice jump Randy.Copy !req
389. Whoo!Copy !req
390. I can't do this guys. I can't
do it unless I'm stoned.Copy !req
391. Come on man, it's the Dirty
Burger.Copy !req
392. You've got to. There's no choice
in the matter.Copy !req
393. I've gotta be high. I'm not
doing it.Copy !req
394. Randy Jesus! You've got to
fucking do it man.Copy !req
395. Dad, take it easy!Copy !req
396. Frig off.Copy !req
397. Dad! Dad, you're losing it.Copy !req
398. That whole family is so fucked!Copy !req
399. Dad, please take it easy!Copy !req
400. You're taking this Dirty Burger
thing way too seriously Phil.Copy !req
401. If I had some dope, I'd do this.Copy !req
402. Well go see your precious Julian
and get him some dope.Copy !req
403. Dad, he can't be on drugs when
he does the jump.Copy !req
404. He's got to be. We have no
choice.Copy !req
405. Drugs are wrong.Copy !req
406. Any other time but we gotta do
it up.Copy !req
407. Just fucking do it!Copy !req
408. Let me see if I can hook us up
Thomas.Copy !req
409. What the fuck do you want
toughie?Copy !req
410. I'm not here to fight, okay?Copy !req
411. Randy will not make that jump
unless he's high on marijuana.Copy !req
412. High on marijuana.
Big fucking surprise!Copy !req
413. Well, you're not getting it from
me cause this is my personal
stock.Copy !req
414. From the captain's cupboard,
alright.Copy !req
415. It's my best stuff and I'm not
giving it to Randy.Copy !req
416. Come on, it's an emergency guys.Copy !req
417. We just need a bud. Please
Julian.Copy !req
418. Ricky, just give him a hit off
this thingCopy !req
419. so we can get this jump underway
please!Copy !req
420. Randy, are you going to do this
or are you too fucking scared?Copy !req
421. Ricky, I just need to get high.Copy !req
422. Fuck you're sweating.Copy !req
423. No shit.Copy !req
424. Yeah man, that's why I'm here.Copy !req
425. Be careful with that.
It's my personal stuff.Copy !req
426. It's kick ass. You only need
a little tiny bit.Copy !req
427. Thanks a lot Ricky.Copy !req
428. This is awesome.
You saved the day.Copy !req
429. Alright, that's good.Copy !req
430. That's all you need man.
I'm serious.Copy !req
431. Get the fuck out there and don't
let us down.Copy !req
432. We're all high as fuck. Good
luck.Copy !req
433. Thanks Rick.Copy !req
434. Alright, he's going to do it.Copy !req
435. Look at him. He looks like a
hairy robot.Copy !req
436. He's pretty fucking high.Copy !req
437. Oh my god, he's down.Copy !req
438. Somebody call an ambulance.Copy !req
439. Mr.
Randy.Copy !req
440. Randy, are you okay?Copy !req
441. This is drugs. See what drugs
did.Copy !req
442. Fuck, don't fucking shove me.Copy !req
443. Can't you see I've been shot
here you fucking walrus.Copy !req
444. We did it Phil.Copy !req
445. We sure did Randy. We sure did.Copy !req
446. Hang in there Randy.Copy !req
447. Take it easy honey. Get well,
soon.Copy !req
448. Poor Randy.Copy !req