1. Jeepers Ray, come on.Copy !req
2. Cripes.Copy !req
3. Swayzie.Copy !req
4. Hey buddy.
Isn't she something?Copy !req
5. Ray, you're two hours late.Copy !req
6. Had to do a couple of things
bud.Copy !req
7. Ah! There's ladies up in my
seat.Copy !req
8. You know, they needed a ride
to Maine.Copy !req
9. I don't see it's any big deal.
It's not going to slow us up.Copy !req
10. They're ladies of the evening!Copy !req
11. Friends of the road, buddy.Copy !req
12. Open it up.
I'll load the carts on.Copy !req
13. No really, Ray, I'll get em.
Don't worry about it.Copy !req
14. Come on, you got her bud.Copy !req
15. Good work Bubbs.Copy !req
16. Good work buddy.Copy !req
17. I was joking!
I could use some help.Copy !req
18. Ricky, wake up!Copy !req
19. Rick! Ricky!Copy !req
20. Get up!Copy !req
21. Hey man. Little early,
isn't it?Copy !req
22. I gotta show you something.Copy !req
23. Watch where you step man,Copy !req
24. there's fucking frogs in here
again.Copy !req
25. Here, check that out.Copy !req
26. Dear boys,Copy !req
27. Ray is driving meCopy !req
28. Here, give me that.Copy !req
29. Ray is driving me to
MaineCopy !req
30. to make a little money on scrap
and I'm goingCopy !req
31. to that train convention
I told you about.Copy !req
32. I need you to feed Shitrock andCopy !req
33. the Purr-monster.
Back in a few days, Bubbles.Copy !req
34. Well, don't worry about it. I
mean,Copy !req
35. he's with my dad. He'll be
alright.Copy !req
36. Woman 1:
Want a beer, Ray?Copy !req
37. Oh god, yes.Copy !req
38. Thanks baby.Copy !req
39. How's that feel Ray?Copy !req
40. Oh Mandy, that's perfect.Copy !req
41. Ray!Copy !req
42. Bubbs, way of the road buddy.Copy !req
43. Way of the road.Copy !req
44. Yeah, well the way of Bubbles is
that I'm not missingCopy !req
45. this train convention
cause you're doing
greasy stuff.Copy !req
46. Geez, buddy, come on.Copy !req
47. What time did Shitty say to meet
him?Copy !req
48. Eight o'clock in Skowhegan,
buddy.Copy !req
49. Eight in Skowhegan.
Well listen Ray,Copy !req
50. you get drunk tonight and do
your thing.Copy !req
51. First thing in the morning,
we're back on the road.Copy !req
52. I'm not missing Sebastian,
he's on at four.Copy !req
53. Hey, Bubbs.Copy !req
54. Hot hamburg sandwiches!Copy !req
55. Equals hot "pull the fuck over".
I'm starving.Copy !req
56. Hot hamburg sandwiches, girls.Copy !req
57. Okay. That was great. Mandy
thanks.Copy !req
58. You're wonderful. Hey Bubbs,
hey buddy.Copy !req
59. Can you get a picture of both
you and me in front ofCopy !req
60. the American flag there?Copy !req
61. Yeah Ray. Yeah, alright.
I'll wind her up here.Copy !req
62. Got her? In America buddy.Copy !req
63. America!Copy !req
64. Got the flag?Copy !req
65. I think so. Smile.Copy !req
66. Ray, these pictures turned out
excellent.Copy !req
67. Well that's a great shot Bubbs,
love that one.Copy !req
68. Hey, I like those guys.
Who are those girls?Copy !req
69. I was taking a picture
of the truck Ray.Copy !req
70. Ray, look, I checked stainless
steel this morning.Copy !req
71. It's going through the roof.Copy !req
72. I mean, even after we take out
rig rental, gas money,Copy !req
73. food and liquor and Shitty's
cut, four grand each!Copy !req
74. Hi!Copy !req
75. Hi.Copy !req
76. I'm Ray.Copy !req
77. Paradise. This is Sandy Mason.Copy !req
78. Hey Sandy, Hey Paradise. Nice
meeting you.Copy !req
79. I've got the big black rig out
front, S&B on the side.Copy !req
80. Right, I saw it out there.Copy !req
81. You got a, you got a mattress in
there?Copy !req
82. In the back, of course, yeah.Copy !req
83. We're just passing through.Copy !req
84. We don't have time to talk.
Nice to meet ya's though.Copy !req
85. Very nice. Ray!Copy !req
86. Paradise!Copy !req
87. Back off!Copy !req
88. Do we gotta take somebody with
us every time we leave?Copy !req
89. It's way of the road Bubbs.
You meet people.Copy !req
90. That's what happens when you are
on the road.Copy !req
91. Well, can't it just be the two
of us driving aloneCopy !req
92. instead of ladies of the
evening?Copy !req
93. They're friends of the road
Bubbs,Copy !req
94. and they're not going to be
there the whole time.Copy !req
95. Come on, Bubbs, be hospitable.Copy !req
96. Ray, I didn't want to have to
say this.Copy !req
97. It's awkward and uncomfortable.Copy !req
98. Ray, that fucking gravy?
Unbelievable!Copy !req
99. Best gravy in all of Maine,
down here buddy.Copy !req
100. I don't know how they make it,
it's so thick.Copy !req
101. Oh, it's a lot of hamburger
shit, and chicken shit.Copy !req
102. They put it all together. Oh
fuck Bubbles, listen.Copy !req
103. Can you go back and get Shitty
a twelve pack of beer.Copy !req
104. I forgot. Would you mind?Copy !req
105. Hey there, do you boys like to
party?Copy !req
106. No actually, we don't like to
party.Copy !req
107. We like to get back on the road.Copy !req
108. Actually I, I like to party.
Come on.Copy !req
109. Okay, well listen, you're going
to have to be quickCopy !req
110. cause Bubbles is going to be
back here any minute, okay?Copy !req
111. Um, let me just um fucking get
rid of this. Um.Copy !req
112. Hon, you gotta pay up front.Copy !req
113. Yeah, yeah, okay. Let's do it.Copy !req
114. What the fuck is this?Copy !req
115. You're under arrest for
soliciting prostitution.Copy !req
116. What! Soliciting prostitution.
That's prostitution.Copy !req
117. What do you think that money was
for? That?Copy !req
118. No, who the hell are you?
You're not even a real cop.Copy !req
119. This is bullshit. Ack! What
are you guys doing.Copy !req
120. Something else. Bastards.Copy !req
121. You guys are going to hear about
this.Copy !req
122. I am a Canadian citizen.
This is an illegal arrestCopy !req
123. in the United States of America.
I want to drive back to Canada.Copy !req
124. You guys are, you are going to
have a lot of explaining to do.Copy !req
125. You want to start explaining
now, cause it's,Copy !req
126. there's going to be a lot of
trouble. My government.Copy !req
127. No, I'm not going.
I didn't do anything wrong.Copy !req
128. That's horseshit and you know
it. I want your name.Copy !req
129. You're going to be hearing from
my government.Copy !req
130. I'm a citizen of the government
of CanadaCopy !req
131. Fuck!Copy !req
132. I'm in a lot of shit.Copy !req
133. Bubbles.Copy !req
134. Hello?Copy !req
135. Julian, oh my fuck.
Ray fucked up.Copy !req
136. He's busted. I got no money.Copy !req
137. I'm at a truck stop right off of
airline route numberCopy !req
138. Bubbles, Bubbles, Bubbles, slow
down.Copy !req
139. Slow down. Relax.Copy !req
140. I'm in Bangor Maine, Julian.Copy !req
141. I don't know it's a truck stop.
Highway 301 or something.Copy !req
142. I have no money. I'm scared
shitless.Copy !req
143. I don't know what to do.Copy !req
144. You gotta come and get me.
That's all there is to it.Copy !req
145. You take the new ferry Julian,
you'll be hereCopy !req
146. in less than seven hours.
Please, I'm scared.Copy !req
147. Get Lucy to look after Shitrock
and the Purr-monster.Copy !req
148. Alright, alright, I promise I'll
look afterCopy !req
149. Shitrock and the Purr-monster.
Just don't moveCopy !req
150. where you're at okay. Just stay
right there.Copy !req
151. I'm fucking scared Julian.
Hurry up.Copy !req
152. Just don't move from where
you're at, okay?Copy !req
153. Holy Fuck!Copy !req
154. Only two miles from
the border.Copy !req
155. Pull over.Copy !req
156. Why?Copy !req
157. Ricky, just pull over.Copy !req
158. Okay, get out. I'm driving.Copy !req
159. Why, what are you talking about?Copy !req
160. Rick, we're crossing into the
US,Copy !req
161. we gotta make sure there's no
dope in this car.Copy !req
162. They're not going to search up
there.Copy !req
163. They're going to search
everything Ricky.Copy !req
164. Fuck!Copy !req
165. That would have landed us in
jail for ten years.Copy !req
166. That's not good. Keep looking.Copy !req
167. Are they really that fucked down
there?Copy !req
168. They're fucked.Copy !req
169. Shitty! Shitty, it's Bubbles.Copy !req
170. Yeah listen, bud.
The rig got seized.Copy !req
171. Ray got busted.Copy !req
172. Yeah, whores.
I think he's in deep shit
Shitty.Copy !req
173. I'm fucking here all alone.Copy !req
174. I don't know what I'm
going to do.Copy !req
175. Just tell Rusty in Skowhegan,
we're not going to be there.Copy !req
176. The deal's off. I'm sorry.Copy !req
177. Alright, you too Shitty.Copy !req
178. Thanks bud.Copy !req
179. Oh man, are they ever getting
fucked over.Copy !req
180. You're supposed to throw your
dope awayCopy !req
181. before you get to the border.
You fucked up.Copy !req
182. Shut the fuck up.Copy !req
183. Ricky, are you sure there's
no dope in here?Copy !req
184. I'm pretty sure Julian.Copy !req
185. There's a couple of cracks and
stuff,Copy !req
186. I think I got rid of all of it.Copy !req
187. Pretty sure? Rick,Copy !req
188. you've got to be a hundred
percent.Copy !req
189. Border Guard:
What's your business in the US?Copy !req
190. Shopping at the factory outlets
in Calais.Copy !req
191. What?Copy !req
192. Border Guard:
Go ahead.Copy !req
193. Are you sure?Copy !req
194. Border Guard:
You want me to pull you over and
search your car?Copy !req
195. No, no, that's fine.Copy !req
196. Border Guard:
Go!Copy !req
197. Alright, thank you Officer.Copy !req
198. That's fucking it?Copy !req
199. You made me throw my dope away
for that?Copy !req
200. Now we got no fucking dope down
here.Copy !req
201. Voice over telephone:
In the movie Meatballs, who
playedCopy !req
202. the crazy camp counselor? One,
Marlon Brando.Copy !req
203. Two, Bill Murray, or
Three, Tom Hanks.Copy !req
204. Voice over telephone:
You're absolutely right. Bill
Murray.Copy !req
205. Ah, no kidding! That was easy.Copy !req
206. Whoooo!Copy !req
207. Fuck, I hope he didn't leave.Copy !req
208. Where the fuck is he?Copy !req
209. There's a phone booth.Copy !req
210. Holy fuck, that's him.Copy !req
211. He's in the phone booth.Copy !req
212. Bubbles.Copy !req
213. Bubbles, are you okay? Bubbs,
it's us!Copy !req
214. Bubbs, it's us. It's okay.Copy !req
215. We're not going to hurt you.Copy !req
216. You're just in shock man.Copy !req
217. Train convention.Copy !req
218. Yeah, yeah, train convention,
remember that?Copy !req
219. Julian, keep talking about the
trains.Copy !req
220. Snap him out of it.
I'll get the car, alright.Copy !req
221. Holy fuck Julian. I'm tired.Copy !req
222. I haven't slept in like twenty-
five hours. Trains.Copy !req
223. Lay down Bubbles, get some
sleep.Copy !req
224. I can't sleep Julian.Copy !req
225. Julian, we're not really going
to this fuckingCopy !req
226. train convention are we?Copy !req
227. Yes.Copy !req
228. I got no dope. I can't deal
withCopy !req
229. fucking training modeling with
no dope.Copy !req
230. Rick, we're doing this for
Bubbles.Copy !req
231. I'm worried about him. He needs
us.Copy !req
232. He needs to relax. Let's just
try to have some funCopy !req
233. and stop worrying about dope.Copy !req
234. Fine, I'll fucking go, butCopy !req
235. I gotta find some fucking dope,
Julian.Copy !req
236. He is fucking banged up.Copy !req
237. Hey Bubbs. Bubbs, wake up.Copy !req
238. Reindeer, reindeer.Copy !req
239. Wake up, buddy. We're here.Copy !req
240. What? Where are we?
Where's Ray?Copy !req
241. We're at the convention.Copy !req
242. Oh, let's rock some beers.Copy !req
243. Let's go check out some trains,
come on man.Copy !req
244. Well, let's set up camp first
while we still got the light.Copy !req
245. Sebastian Bach:
Hey guys! What the fuck's going
on!Copy !req
246. Sebastian's Handler:
Sebastian please, no swearing.Copy !req
247. Sebastian Bach:
Hey, who here loves trains?Copy !req
248. I'll get ya inside. What's up
dude? Hey how's it going?Copy !req
249. How long am I going to do this?Copy !req
250. Sebastian's Handler:
Hour, hour and a half tops.Copy !req
251. Sebastian Bach:
That's all I'm giving you.Copy !req
252. You better get me some fuckingCopy !req
253. Sebastian's Handler:
I'll get you some fucking weed.Copy !req
254. Don't I always hook you up?Copy !req
255. Two bucks a pack? In jail?Copy !req
256. Fuck, I should get arrested,
come in and hang out with you.Copy !req
257. No, I know.Copy !req
258. Alright. Well you take care of
yourself in there buddy.Copy !req
259. Love you dad. Okay, see you.Copy !req
260. How's Ray doing?Copy !req
261. Not too bad. He got three
months,Copy !req
262. which is pretty good for whores.Copy !req
263. Just needs some cigarette money,Copy !req
264. he's going to meet us back at
the park.Copy !req
265. Do you guys know how fucking
cheap cigarettes are here?Copy !req
266. It's ridiculous.Copy !req
267. Ricky, let's go in and look at
some trains now.Copy !req
268. Come on.Copy !req
269. Tyson Trains is proud to present
ourCopy !req
270. competitive model train world
champion, Sebastian Bach.Copy !req
271. Sebastian Bach:
You know, I was told that I
wasn't supposed toCopy !req
272. swear in here tonight.Copy !req
273. But I know, I just know,Copy !req
274. that there is some great fucking
trains here in Bangor.Copy !req
275. Oh, boys, check it out!Copy !req
276. Decent.Copy !req
277. Hey, got any dope?Copy !req
278. Hey, do you guys smoke dope?Copy !req
279. Got any hash, bottle tokes?
Smoke dope,Copy !req
280. got a roach around here?
Who's got dope around here?Copy !req
281. Smarten the fuck up.Copy !req
282. Boy, check out the train sets.Copy !req
283. Look at the fucking detail.
Little cars, little people.Copy !req
284. Amazing! Holy fuck, boys.Copy !req
285. Sebastian Bach is on stage.Copy !req
286. That is him!Copy !req
287. Little girl:
How'd you get into model
railroading Sebastian.Copy !req
288. Sebastian Bach:
Great question. Couple of tours
back,Copy !req
289. me and the guys woke up one
morning.Copy !req
290. We'd stolen a model train from
somewhere the night before.Copy !req
291. Crazy fucking night. I don't
know, we didn't really rememberCopy !req
292. but we set it up and geez,
before we even knew it,Copy !req
293. we weren't even drinking
in the daytime any more.Copy !req
294. We were just playing with that
train.Copy !req
295. I fucking love model train
railroading man.Copy !req
296. That's how I became a champion.Copy !req
297. Little boy:
Yeah. Who holds first place in
weight pull this year?Copy !req
298. Sebastian Bach:
That would be Patrick Swayzie.Copy !req
299. Little boy:
Damn right!Copy !req
300. Well Sebastian Bach and Patrick
Swayzie,Copy !req
301. those guys have a rivalry going
on hard and, I mean,Copy !req
302. the gossip is that Sebastian is
very jealous of Swayzie's trainCopy !req
303. and you can't blame him.
It's a fucking nice train.Copy !req
304. Little boy:
Is it true that you
backed down from aCopy !req
305. fight with him last year?Copy !req
306. Apparently Sebastian got fed up
last year at theCopy !req
307. World Championships in
Copenhagen, and he toldCopy !req
308. Patrick Swayzie to fuck off.Copy !req
309. Swayzie wouldn't
fuck off though,Copy !req
310. he challenged him to a fight
right in front of everybody.Copy !req
311. Sebastian Bach:
As I told everybody, I was sick
with the fucking flu.Copy !req
312. I didn't back down from shit!Copy !req
313. Little boy:
Bullshit you had the flu, you
had theCopy !req
314. "I'm afraid of Patrick Swayzie".Copy !req
315. You know what, Patrick Swayzie
uses illegal parts.Copy !req
316. That's why he's winning all the
time.Copy !req
317. Maybe you should stop hurting
people's feelings.Copy !req
318. Sebastian Bach:
Guys, if you want to talk aboutCopy !req
319. Patrick Swayzie all fucking
night,Copy !req
320. then it's over for here for me
right now.Copy !req
321. Sebastian's handler:
Sebastian, dude, you gotta chill
with thisCopy !req
322. Swayzie shit, alright?Copy !req
323. Sebastian Bach:
Dude, I'm kind of busy with
chicks.Copy !req
324. Alright? Alright? What are
you, my mum?Copy !req
325. Sebastian's handler:
I'm glad you cheered up a little
bit.Copy !req
326. Sebastian Bach:
Well, what else can we do to
cheer up tonight?Copy !req
327. Let's go check out the Swayzie
Express man, come on.Copy !req
328. I'm just going to go to the
bathroom.Copy !req
329. Really nice to meet you.Copy !req
330. Sebastian Bach:
Hey, you know what, tell your
buddyCopy !req
331. I said thanks for sticking up
for me out there.Copy !req
332. I will, and you know what? He
was wondering if you knowCopy !req
333. where to get some weed. We're
from Canada and can't find
nothing.Copy !req
334. We're just dying for a toke.Copy !req
335. Sebastian Bach:
I don't do drugs.Copy !req
336. Yes, you do. I saw you on the
cover of High Times.Copy !req
337. I know you smoke dope.Copy !req
338. Sebastian Bach:
I'll meet you in the parking
lot, alright.Copy !req
339. I'll see you there in about an
hour or so.Copy !req
340. Fucking awesome.Copy !req
341. Sebastian Bach:
Here you go.Copy !req
342. No, I'm good thanks.Copy !req
343. Sebastian Bach:
Yes!Copy !req
344. Ladies and gentlemen, gather
round.Copy !req
345. And witness the fantastic, the
internationalCopy !req
346. red ribbon finalist,Copy !req
347. the custom-built, incredible
Swayzie Express.Copy !req
348. Trains.Copy !req
349. The only one in the world.
The personal train ofCopy !req
350. Bubbs, you okay man?Copy !req
351. Patrick Swayzie.Copy !req
352. Fine, Julian.Copy !req
353. Oh Julian, if I don't find some
dope soon, man,Copy !req
354. I'm going to start to go crazy.
There's got to be some dopeCopy !req
355. in here somewhere, fell down
through the vents or somethingCopy !req
356. over the years. Dirty old
fucking roach.Copy !req
357. Hey boys?Copy !req
358. Fuck!Copy !req
359. I think I'm going to go
stretch my legs.Copy !req
360. Okay Bubbs. Fucking, fucking
coming off.Copy !req
361. Oh, where'd it go, yes!Copy !req
362. Sebastian Bach:
What's going on with you freaks?Copy !req
363. Fuck, he showed up!Copy !req
364. My fuck he's cool Julian.Copy !req
365. Cool fucking car man!Copy !req
366. Sebastian Bach:
Sorry it took so long dude.Copy !req
367. Good to meet you man.Copy !req
368. Sebastian Bach:
Nice to meet you too.Copy !req
369. Fuck, we didn't think you were
coming.Copy !req
370. I ripped my whole fucking dash
out looking for dope.Copy !req
371. Sebastian Bach:
Dude, I got some dope but it's
like half aCopy !req
372. fucking gram of shit mall weed
from the fucking arcade.Copy !req
373. Fuck, well I found some great
dope.Copy !req
374. Sebastian Bach:
For real?Copy !req
375. Yeah. I grew this myself man.Copy !req
376. This is good fucking Canadian
dope, it'll blow your head off.Copy !req
377. Sebastian Bach:
Well dude, did you not notice
that there's likeCopy !req
378. gum and hair on it.Copy !req
379. I know, but it's awesome, trust
me.Copy !req
380. Sebastian Bach:
Alright.Copy !req
381. Cool. Where's your buddy?Copy !req
382. That cool guy with the glasses?Copy !req
383. I think he went to rock a piss.Copy !req
384. Fuck, I can't believe you paid
twelve bucks a gramCopy !req
385. for this shitty arcade dope.
I'm going to smoke some more of
mine.Copy !req
386. Sebastian Bach:
Righteous.Copy !req
387. Fuck, I haven't had a dope
like this in years.Copy !req
388. Fucking years! You grew this?Copy !req
389. Yeah man.Copy !req
390. Sebastian Bach:
I haven't had dope like this
since I was touring EuropeCopy !req
391. in '88 with Scorpions.Copy !req
392. Hello California!Copy !req
393. You are crazy! We are
Scorpions!Copy !req
394. Rock you like a Hurricane!Copy !req
395. Sebastian's Handler:
Sebastian!Copy !req
396. Sebastian Bach:
What the fuck!Copy !req
397. Sebastian's Handler:
Fuck!Copy !req
398. Sebastian Bach:
Dude, this weed kicks my ass
man.Copy !req
399. We've got tons of that stuff
back home man, here.Copy !req
400. Sebastian Bach:
Not to be a pain, but is there
any chanceCopy !req
401. I can buy just what you have
here?Copy !req
402. It's so hard to get good dope
here these days.Copy !req
403. Dude, there's fucking greasy old
bees on this one.Copy !req
404. Am I paying for the bees too?
What is this, fucking honey oil?Copy !req
405. It was in the fucking dash man.
Sorry.Copy !req
406. Hey guys.Copy !req
407. Sebastian Bach:
Oh dude.Copy !req
408. Thank you so much for sticking
up for me out there.Copy !req
409. No problem, I mean.
Train guys know the real deal.Copy !req
410. It's all about respect, Mr.
Bach.Copy !req
411. Sebastian Bach:
Geez, hang on a sec.Copy !req
412. Fuck, I gotta get going man.Copy !req
413. My wife is going to fucking
kill.Copy !req
414. I really really appreciate the
dope guys.Copy !req
415. No problem.Copy !req
416. Sebastian Bach:
You know what, it was really
nice meeting you cocksuckers.Copy !req
417. Nice meeting you too man.Copy !req
418. Sebastian Bach:
Right on dude. Listen, take my
card alright,Copy !req
419. I want you guys to give me a
call, but be super cool on the
phone, alright?Copy !req
420. Got another one of those?Copy !req
421. Sebastian Bach:
Yeah dude, right on.Copy !req
422. Decent.Copy !req
423. Sebastian Bach:
I think I'm too fucking baked
man.Copy !req
424. Sebastian's Handler:
Give me the keys.Copy !req
425. Sebastian Bach:
You're driving.Copy !req
426. Boys, you know what, fuck
camping here.Copy !req
427. Let's, let's get outta here.Copy !req
428. Bubbles, chill out. We're
having a good time here.Copy !req
429. No boys, pack it up. Let's go.Copy !req
430. What the fuck's wrong man?Copy !req
431. Just get in the car! Let's go!Copy !req
432. Ricky, Julian. Wake up, we're
home.Copy !req
433. Boys, wake up. I gotta show you
guys something.Copy !req
434. It's going to freak you out.Copy !req
435. Boys, I don't know exactly
what came over meCopy !req
436. but I just couldn't stop myself.Copy !req
437. I had to have it.Copy !req
438. The personal train
of Patrick Swayzie.Copy !req
439. Bubbles, have you lost your
fucking mind?Copy !req
440. No Ricky. I'm fine.Copy !req