1. J-
What's crackin', y'all. Let me
be the first to officially
welcome
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2. y'all ma-fuckers to my brand new
joint.
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3. Scrilla Villa. A-ight y'all,
check it out.
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4. Let me explain something to you,
you know what I'm saying.
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5. Me and T had to get things set
up, you know what I'm saying.
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6. With the babies on the way, with
the family, you know what I
mean.
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7. So we had to start working.
That's when I realized that the
airport
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8. has some unique job
opportunities, dawg.
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9. That's right. We had to seize
the mother fucker.
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10. J-
Carpe dizum, you know what I'm
saying?
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11. That's why we started gankin'
luggage. This is all the shit
we ganked from overseas,
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12. you know what I'm saying. It's
all from Europe. It's tight.
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13. Ma-fuckers come back with some
crazy ass shit, dawg.
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14. You want a box for your bling?
Ten ma-fuckers. It's tight,
cheap and dope.
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15. I'm out. And this here room's
what I call liquors of the
world, dawg.
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16. You know what I'm saying? Look
at all the shit the ma-fuckers
bring back.
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17. It's your passport to getting
drunk. Glug, glug. [making
guitar noises]
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18. Real snake. What? I'm saying.
We so busy now, you know what I
mean,
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19. I even had to hire employees.
That's Lucy right there, you
know what I mean.
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20. Lucy, one of my employees. That
little ma-fucker ain't though.
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21. I ain't paying for that
ma-fucker.
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22. I had to go back to work when I
found out that I was pregnant.
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23. I knew that Ricky was never
going to get his shit together
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24. and I'm going to be taking care
of this baby on my own, so this
seems like an honest gig.
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25. J-
Lucy, you ready to do this
family portrait?
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26. Yeah, yeah. I just gotta figure
out this, how it works.
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27. J-
Like to introduce my family
dawg. I ain't saying they both
mine,
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28. I ain't saying they ain't. Who
knows about my ancestry,
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29. you know what I mean. But me
and T decided we too close
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30. to go through all that DNA
bullish, so we just going to be
co-daddies
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31. to these two little pimps right
here.
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32. Smile.
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33. Hey Ray.
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34. Ah, for fuck's sakes.
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35. What's up man?
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36. What's going on?
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37. Hey bud, how are you doing?
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38. You gotta come see it. I got it
set up. Is it ever decent.
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39. Oh yeah?
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40. Check it out, you head up on the
deck.
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41. Alright.
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42. Alright.
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43. Look at that. Look at the
detail.
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44. Awesome buddy.
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45. Eh? This is awesome!
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46. So what's going on with you and
Rick and Julian. You guys cool
or what?
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47. Yeah, we're cool. I'm just not
hanging out with them anymore,
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48. ever since Ricky almost froze me
to death. You know, I have a
hobby now
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49. and that's what I'm going to do
from now on. My hobby is trains
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50. and just like your hobby's
drinking.
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51. It's drinking buddy. Hey,
Shitty! There's Shitty bud.
Shitty!
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52. Hey boys.
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53. Hey Shitty.
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54. Hey Shitty. How you doing?
There's a load there so get her
loaded up.
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55. Hey Shitty. Bubbs, how's it
going buddy?
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56. Oh not bad Ricky. At least I'm
not freezing to death.
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57. I'm sorry about that. Look, I
really need to talk to you.
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58. And Dad, can I talk to you too
about some pretty serious stuff.
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59. Of course buddy, what's up?
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60. Let's get away from Shitty.
It's pretty private.
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61. What the hell is all this shit.
What are you guys doing?
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62. Nothing Ricky. Nothing you'd be
interested in.
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63. I know what's going on.
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64. Better not fuck with any of my
stuff Shitty, just leave it
where it's at.
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65. Is there any way that Lucy could
have gotten pregnant without my
bird doing stuff to her?
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66. You're joking right
Rick?
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67. No actually, I'm pretty serious
Dad.
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68. Fuck, um.
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69. But there must be another way.
I mean, we have done some stuff
but,
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70. me and Lucy haven't banged in
seven months and she's six
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71. months pregnant so, does that
work out?
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72. Bubbles, answer that. I gotta
rock a piss off bud.
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73. Ray? Look Ricky, just think of
this train engine as Lucy right.
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74. If you put fuel into it, it'll
go. But if you don't, it
doesn't.
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75. So you're saying that, what?
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76. Ricky, a train will only go if
there's fuel in it right.
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77. So if it wasn't your nozzle that
was putting fuel into Lucy,
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78. someone else's nozzle must have
been. You know?
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79. You sure?
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80. Yeah.
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81. So let me get this straight?
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82. Mr. Lahey gets one night off and
you guys don't even include me?
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83. Barb Lahey:
Well, maybe if you weren't so
high all the time Randy.
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84. Oh, moose balls!
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85. Barb Lahey:
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86. My pants!
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87. Barb Lahey:
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88. It's not funny Barb.
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89. Jim Lahey:
Randy.
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90. Barb Lahey:
Randy!
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91. My best pants.
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92. Jim Lahey:
Randy?
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93. This is friggin
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94. Barb Lahey:
Randy!
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95. Hey. I heard about Lucy man.
I'm sorry man, that sucks. You
okay?
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96. Yup. Check it out Julian. The
rankins are getting a lot
bigger, huh?
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97. Yeah, he's cute. So, are you
coming to the airport with me or
not? Cause I gotta get going.
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98. No, I'm not working for J-Roc
man. It's against my vice
principles.
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99. I understand if you want to I
guess, but I'm not.
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100. I've got no choice man, I have
to. Trailer's re-mortgaged.
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101. If I don't come up with a
payment, I'm going to lose it.
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102. Two hundred and forty-five
dollars. Where the fuck am I
going
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103. to come up with that kind of
money? Anyway, I gotta get
going,
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104. but listen to me, you are
handling this well okay.
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105. So keep it up, don't do anything
crazy alright.
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106. I'm good.
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107. Alright. We'll get drunk when I
get back or something.
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108. What's going on here? Big black
Cadillac. J-Roc?
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109. Lucy is fucking banging J-Roc?
I can't believe it.
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110. J-Roc borned my baby. Fuck!
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111. Police Officer George:
We good to go?
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112. Police Officer Ted:
Yeah.
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113. Police Officer George:
Focus.
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114. Police Officer Ted:
Yeah, the focus is fine.
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115. Police Officer George:
Alright, just a waiting game
now. Oh yeah, look at that.
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116. Hey look, check it out. Jamie,
Tyler and the rest of the gang.
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117. Think they might be, oh I don't
know, stealing luggage.
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118. Police Officer Ted:
You think Jamie's smart enough
to master mind that?
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119. No, I don't know about that.
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120. But, Julian sure as hell is.
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121. Police Officer George:
This is going to get
interesting.
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122. J-
All luggage look the same
nowadays, you know what I mean?
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123. Give me a kiss mother-fucker.
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124. J-
Bye Suzanne, lovely to see you.
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125. Wait right there Lucy!
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126. J-
Suzanne, you go to the car. A-
ight Suzanne, I'll see you in a
minute.
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127. Lucy, wait right there. I need
to talk to you.
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128. J-
Suzanne, go to the car.
Suzanne.
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129. What the fuck! You banged Lucy
and gave her a baby?
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130. J-
I never banged Lucy, dawg, or
Suzanne, what I'm saying.
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131. I tried to hit her a couple of
times you know what I'm saying,
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132. but she wasn't feeling me dawg.
T tried too. But we didn't.
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133. Oh, so it's fucking T. What's
the deal man, you got nothing
better to do.
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134. Couldn't help yourself, take a
little something something from
Lucy?
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135. I didn't do nothing man.
Relax yourself man.
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136. You know the rule, bros before
hos man. Come on, Ricky, you
know that shit man.
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137. Would you calm down?
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138. I got a question. Why the fuck
were you kissing her then?
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139. J-
I got a question too.
Can I ask you somethin'?
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140. Would you calm down mother-
fucker?
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141. I just want to know why you were
kissing her.
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142. I wasn't kissing her, we was
actin'. Saying?
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143. Actin?
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144. J-
We was just actin'. Me and Lucy
was pretending to be married
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145. cause we taking luggage and we
don't want fuckers to find out
dawg.
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146. We're trying to work here.
Alright.
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147. Go home, we'll deal with this
later back at the park. Not
here.
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148. J-
That's right. Know what I'm
saying.
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149. Fine then guys. Let the little
luggage bandits do their little
thing here.
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150. J-
There ain't no luggage bandits
here.
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151. I'm going to fucking find out
who banged Lucy and gave her a
baby. I am.
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152. J-
It wasn't me. There ain't no
luggage bandits here.
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153. I'm going to find out. I'll
tell you that J-Roc.
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154. Jim Lahey:
God-damn, George and Ted are
making me pull
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155. their shift at the liquor store
today.
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156. Barb Lahey:
Oh Jim, you promised.
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157. Jim Lahey:
What can I do Barb?
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158. Barb Lahey:
Oh, we are going to get so far
behind at line dancing.
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159. How are, oh. Oh, never mind.
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160. Maybe we can do a little bit of
horizontal line dancing at home,
eh?
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161. Barb Lahey:
Oh hang on.
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162. Ha?
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163. Jim Lahey:
What's that?
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164. Barb Lahey:
I don't know.
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165. Barb, ever since I seen you, you
are the sun that lights up my
world.
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166. Jim Lahey:
Sounds like Randy when he's
high.
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167. Barb Lahey:
Yeah, when isn't he high?
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168. Jim Lahey:
Barb, I think you should lighten
up on Randy.
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169. At least he's trying. You gotta
admit, it's pretty special for
him to send you those.
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170. Alright buddy, think about what
I said. Come over for supper
tonight bud.
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171. Newfoundland steak and mashed
potatoes buddy, whaddya think?
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172. Oh, count me in Ray. I'd love
some. Is that my Model Train
Magazine?
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173. Yeah, fucking right buddy.
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174. Can I have it?
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175. Wait a sec, hold it. Got a
problem. Need a boost buddy.
Car won't start.
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176. Well, I can't boost it.
Give me my magazine.
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177. Bubbles, work before play.
That's exactly what I taught
Ricky.
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178. We gotta figure out this problem
before we do anything.
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179. I need a boost, go get me your
lawn mower or something.
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180. Just let me get this straight,
you're holding my magazine
ransom?
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181. Til I give you a boost. I got
nothing I can boost you with.
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182. I'm not holding this ransom, I'm
saying we gotta do work before
we do pleasure.
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183. That's the way it always is in
life Bubbs.
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184. Well, what am I going to boost
it with? All I got is a go
cart.
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185. Your lawn mower. Get your lawn
mower.
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186. Ray, you know how jumping the
things starts.
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187. You hook two of the pinchers to
your battery and two of the
pinchers
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188. to another battery, and if I
don't have a battery then
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189. there's nothing to hook it too.
Now give me my magazine!
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190. If I had to do this myself, I
wouldn't have even asked you.
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191. I need you help, I'm asking for
your help.
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192. There's nowhere to hook it!
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193. I've got your magazine.
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194. Lucy! Where the fuck are ya? I
need to talk to you.
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195. Ricky? Ricky, what are you
doing?
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196. I want to find out who brought
this baby by Lucy.
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197. Is what I'm fucking doing, until
these idiots got in my god
damned way.
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198. Ricky!
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199. Lucy, where is you at?
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200. What the fuck are you doing?
Are you guys okay? Fuck.
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201. You can't just come in here and
push people over and eat my
fucking bread Ricky.
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202. Well, Lucy had a baby borned by
somebody.
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203. I'd like to find out who the
fuck it is. Where is she?
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204. Alright Benjamin Franklin. You
should me where to hook this.
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205. You see the red thing in your
hand there Bubbles, that goes
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206. Guys, guys, guys.
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207. Where's Ricky at?
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208. I don't know where Ricky is. I
haven't seen him all day.
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209. Just, put that on the red thing.
Red on red.
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210. What are you trying to do? You
can't boost a car with a go cart
Ray.
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211. Come on, get in there, I'll give
you a boost.
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212. I can do it. You could've done
it.
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213. Give me my magazine.
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214. You could have done it Bubbles,
you just didn't try.
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215. Oh Ray, number one, you got a
loose terminal here bud. That's
not going to do anything.
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216. Decent! Julian, check this out.
Look.
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217. 10th Annual Bangor International
Model Train Convention.
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218. Look who's hosting. Sebastian
Bach, Skid Row.
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219. My god, trains from all over the
world. This year featuring the
Swayze Express.
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220. Swayze Express? Patrick Swayze.
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221. Julian's always been really
sensitive about the whole
Patrick Swayze
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222. thing because when we were kids
in school, the other kids used
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223. to tease him and call him
Patrick Swayze but Julian was
really into Dirty Dancing.
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224. I remember one time me and Ricky
were coming over to get Julian
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225. to go ride bikes and we walked
in the trailer and Julian was
dressed up like him,
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226. pretending he was in the movie
Dirty Dancing.
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227. Ricky told everyone in school
and then from then on they
teased him, Patrick Swayze.
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228. Are you fucking with me here
Bubbs, cause it's not funny man.
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229. No Julian, not that Patrick
Swayze, not the actor, Patrick
Swayze.
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230. That's a different one.
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231. Fuck!
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232. Finally someone who knows what
the fuck they're doing.
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233. Julian, where the fuck is Lucy?
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234. How should I know?
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235. You're a cole-worker.
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236. Actually, I quit Ricky. Last I
saw, she was heading back home.
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237. Here she comes right now.
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238. Don't do anything stupid Ricky.
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239. Why the fuck not Julian.
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240. Ricky, I need a boost. Give me
a boost buddy.
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241. Dad, I don't got time for boosts
right now. Lucy's banging
J-Roc.
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242. I gotta go deal with this right
now.
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243. Ricky, I need a fucking boost!
And I need it now! Alright.
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244. Bubbles, get this fucking go
cart out of my way.
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245. Julian, get that black piece of
shit out of here and down the
road.
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246. I don't ever want to see it
around my car again.
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247. Ricky, I want you to bring your
car from there to here, hook up
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248. those cables to your car, get me
the fuck started so I can get
out of here, okay?
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249. Alright. Does anyone know how
the fuck these things go on.
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250. Yes, I know how they work!
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251. You don't know how they work.
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252. That's what started this problem
Bubbles.
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253. You don't know how they work.
You said you did
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254. I do Ray!
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255. but you don't! You couldn't
even hook them up to your go
cart Bubbles.
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256. I'm not getting involved
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257. I don't want to argue about this
anymore.
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258. Red on positive, black on
negative.
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259. I just want to get home. Cook
supper for me and Bubbles,
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260. you're still coming over for
supper, aren't ya?
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261. Yes! I'm coming for supper.
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262. Alright, mashed potatoes and
Newfoundland steak.
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263. The navy is really good. I
actually can't see your
underwear for once.
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264. Yeah, they look really
good Randy.
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265. They are a big improvement.
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266. They're so comfortable. My
other ones were so tight.
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267. Yeah, they're only one size
bigger too. Randy!
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268. Sorry, Sarah.
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269. Lucy, get the fuck out here.
Tell me what's going on.
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270. Nice pants Randy. You still
look fucking stupid.
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271. Lucy, I'm serious - get out here
and talk to me.
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272. Why don't you just calm down
Ricky.
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273. Fuck off, what do you want?
Who is it Luce?
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274. That stupid fucking idiot,
dumbi-cop George Green?
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275. Cause it can't be me Lucy, I
checked.
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276. Okay, you know what Ricky.
Don't be stupid.
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277. You look me right in the eyes,
right now.
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278. Tell me I'm the father of the
yet to be unborn baby.
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279. Okay, you're getting way
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280. See, you can't. You can't do
it.
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281. We can't talk about this right
now. You have to chill the fuck
out.
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282. Alright, I'll talk to you later.
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283. Lucy! Lucy!
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284. Police Officer George:
What a shame.
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285. Another baby that's going to be
born in jail.
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286. Police Officer Ted:
You tagged her at the
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287. Cheeseburger Picnic didn't you
George?
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288. Police Officer George:
It was one time Ted. I was
drunk and high, doesn't count.
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289. Yeah, yeah. You think you're so
fucking tough, smoking that big
mall dope eh?
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290. It's good dope.
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291. Nice new pants. Good price?
How's got the best dope in town?
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292. You do Ricky. You get to the
best frigging dope. But you
charge too much.
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293. Oh Ricky, leave him fucking
alone.
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294. I'm going to spit on you right
now Randy.
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295. Don't you dare spit on my pants
Ricky.
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296. Fucking stupid those pants are.
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297. How dare you!
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298. You just fucking spit on me!
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299. Good! Good, yeah.
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300. I'm going to wipe it all over
your body.
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301. Police Officer George:
Well, we got all the evidence we
need.
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302. We also have four hours of
paperwork now,
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303. so I don't think we're doing
Chippendale's tonight.
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304. Police Officer Ted:
I'm not going to miss that.
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305. Police Officer George:
Actually, we have someone who
can do all that.
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306. He's working at the LC right
now.
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307. Police Officer Ted:
Right.
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308. Ricky, leave Randy alone.
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309. Ow!
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310. Lucy, I will make you have a
uternity test if I have to.
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311. Just tell me who it was, please.
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312. No, I can't tell you.
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313. Come on. Are you alright bud.
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314. Randy, I'm sorry man. I'm just
really stressed out.
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315. Are you alright?
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316. Yeah, I'm okay Ricky.
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317. Get the fuck out of here. Lucy,
will you please just tell me.
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318. Fine, I can't take this anymore.
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319. Do you remember the second
weekend that you
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320. and your father spent in the
drunk tank?
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321. Well, I had a moment of
weakness.
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322. Come on, it just happened one
time, I swear. Okay. I'm
really sorry.
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323. Lucy, Who did you bang the
weekend me and my dad
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324. went to the drunk tank?
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325. The second time?
Tell me who it was.
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326. Okay, it was Randy.
There I said it.
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327. Randy?
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328. I banged Randy.
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329. It's true. We made love a
couple of times that Saturday
night.
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330. You're the father of my baby?
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331. Oh my fuck!
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332. Jim Lahey:
No thanks, don't drink.
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333. Jim? I hardly recognize you.
You're sober.
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334. Jim Lahey:
Very funny Sam. Can I see some
I.D. please?
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335. I.D., what are you crazy? I'm
fucking 49, get the fuck out of
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336. Jim Lahey:
Newsflash shit-glasses, you're
going back to your cave.
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337. Oh, I see what's going on here.
It's because I used to date
Barb, isn't it?
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338. I don't deserve this man, it's
not fair.
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339. Jim Lahey:
Life's not fair same. This is
real time, not cave time.
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340. Hang on, hang on, I've got to
give the kids back their money.
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341. Jim Lahey:
Move it Sam. You got a shower
in this rig.
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342. Of course I do. It's just not
working.
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343. Jim Lahey:
Surprise, surprise. Why don't
you scuffle off to your
antediluvian world,
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344. find some water and hose
yourself down?
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345. Don't think I haven't noticed
those sly cave man references,
Lahey.
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346. Hey Jim, how's the liquor store
treating you these days bud.
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347. Jim Lahey:
Good George, good.
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348. Had any relapses?
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349. Jim Lahey:
How the mighty have fallen.
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350. What's that supposed to mean?
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351. Jim Lahey:
Birds of a shit feather, Ted.
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352. Well, speaking of shit Jim, we
need you to file the paperwork
on this warrant.
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353. For your friends down at the
trailer park.
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354. Jim Lahey:
George, I'm pulling a double
shift now.
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355. If I have to do this, I'll be up
til four a.m.
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356. Well, we're going to be up until
4 in the morning too Jim.
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357. Getting drunk, doing security
for the Chippendale's.
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358. Get it done.
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359. Jim Lahey:
Fuck!
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360. Barb Lahey:
So what do you want to talk
about Randy.
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361. Or do you need to be high first?
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362. Barb, there's no real easy way
of saying this. I frigged up.
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363. Barb Lahey:
What are you talking about?
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364. Basically I banged Lucy and
knocked her up. No big deal.
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365. Barb Lahey:
Oh my god. That was you?
Oh, greasy.
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366. Do you know the whole park is
talking about that.
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367. Jim Lahey:
You cheated on me Randy?
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368. You cheated on us?
You cheated on us.
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369. Well, Mr. Lahey. I want to make
this work.
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370. If we stay together, we can help
Lucy raise our baby.
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371. Barb Lahey:
Our baby. No, I don't think so
Randy. That'd be your baby.
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372. Oh cinnamon cocks.
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373. Jim Lahey:
Randy, it pains me to say this,
but I think it would be better
if you moved on alone.
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374. Barb Lahey:
And now that we've established
that, I'd like you out of this
trailer, now.
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375. You don't expect me to go live
in the supervisor trailer with
Ray do you?
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376. Barb Lahey:
No, I don't expect you to go
live there Randy, because you're
fired.
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377. What? What am I going to do?
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378. Barb Lahey:
Well, you could go back to
mowing lawns.
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379. I mean, they don't mind you
doing that when you're stoned.
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380. Jim Lahey:
Barb.
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381. Barb Lahey:
Jim?
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382. Jim Lahey:
Randy.
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383. Mr. Lahey.
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384. Barb Lahey:
Jim! So that's a hundred and
seventy six ninety-two.
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385. Now would you like me to give it
to you
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386. or should I give it direct to
your drug dealer?
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387. Jim Lahey:
Barb.
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388. Look, you guys have a good time
frig dancing.
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389. And Barb, your scalloped
potatoes are fucked.
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390. Jim Lahey:
They're fantastic Barb.
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391. I'm not knocking Shitty buddy.
But he's just a middle man.
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392. You should be making twice as
much money.
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393. Well I know Ray, but Shitty
drives a hard bargain.
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394. Hey boys. Whoo. Hey boys. I
plan on having a few drinks
tonight.
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395. You guys want to get drunk with
me?
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396. Bubbs.
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397. Ricky.
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398. Hey buddy. Fuck, Lucy's baby is
not going to be mine,
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399. cause she's being borned by
Randy Dad.
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400. I know.
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401. Love you buddy. Drinks tonight?
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402. Okay buddy.
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403. Fuck, I almost forgot.
I almost forgot.
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404. I sold some dope down at the
bowling alley man. Don't tell
anybody, alright.
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405. I got that for your mortgage
payment.
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406. Ricky, I can't take this.
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407. Oh, he's down. He's down.
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408. Dad, I love you buddy.
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409. Oh, I'm getting drunk tonight,
I tell ya.
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