1. Well, Ricky and Julian worked up
this plan with Sebastian BachCopy !req
2. you know where we load up the
train, model train with dopeCopy !req
3. and it chugs through the woods
there into the U.S.Copy !req
4. and Sebastian picks up the dope
once it arrives, he loads it
with cigarettes,Copy !req
5. sends it right back and, I mean,
it's pretty elaborate, but I
think it could work.Copy !req
6. riding on this one deal and if
you ask me, the whole plan is
fucked.Copy !req
7. Anything could go wrong. A deer
could kick that train off the
track.Copy !req
8. Somebody could call the
authorities.Copy !req
9. I don't even know how to deal
with Conky,Copy !req
10. I don't know what to do with
him.Copy !req
11. Right now I think, I think
Bubbles has totally lost his
mind andCopy !req
12. it's all because of this great
plan that I thought of. Great.Copy !req
13. That forest fire is getting a
lot fucking closer boys.Copy !req
14. Are you guys
going to accept the factCopy !req
15. that Skiddy Row must have fucked
you over.Copy !req
16. Fuck it!Copy !req
17. kissing soundCopy !req
18. Bubbles, would you put that
fucking puppet away please.Copy !req
19. That plan could have worked.Copy !req
20. Actually I
think your plan was fuckedCopy !req
21. right off the bat Julian. Why
wouldn't you just take the alien
Trevor'sCopy !req
22. and put them on a horse or a
mule and cross the borderCopy !req
23. like a regular drug dealer, you
fucking idiotCopy !req
24. Conky, shut the fuck up.Copy !req
25. The train probably burnt up in
the forest fire.Copy !req
26. Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-bammmmmmmm!Copy !req
27. Jacob! Boys, the cigarettes!Copy !req
28. Fuck!Copy !req
29. Alright Shitty, back her up!Copy !req
30. Let's go boys. Unload the
freight cars. Get her moving.Copy !req
31. That fucking Sebastian. What a
great fucking guy man.Copy !req
32. Mr.
Great work Jacob.Copy !req
33. I just gotta rock a piss boys,
I'll be right back.Copy !req
34. Hurry the fuck up.Copy !req
35. Jacob, move it!Copy !req
36. Okay, I'll just be a second.Copy !req
37. Move it boys, move it, move it.Copy !req
38. Can you fucking believe this
man?Copy !req
39. Come on, move, move, move move.Copy !req
40. Let's get these fucking smokes
loaded. Come on, move.Copy !req
41. Alright Shitty, see you back at
the park buddy.Copy !req
42. And for fucks sakes man, take a
shower, you look like a fucking
hobolo.Copy !req
43. Shitty Bill:Copy !req
44. Let's just get out of here.Copy !req
45. Are you sure?Copy !req
46. Yes.Copy !req
47. Whoa, whoa. Shhh, shhh.Copy !req
48. What's that?Copy !req
49. Boys, that sounds like a motor
down by the river.Copy !req
50. What the fuck?Copy !req
51. Drunk prick,
who could he be referring toCopy !req
52. I wonder Julian. I hope it's
not some kind of fuckery.Copy !req
53. How are you going to dance
around this situation? Dirtily?Copy !req
54. Jacob! You guys check the
river. Ricky, in the car.Copy !req
55. Bubbles, consider that kiss your
final warning. You know what
you gotta do?Copy !req
56. You gotta kill him!Copy !req
57. Fuck off
Julian.Copy !req
58. Let's go!Copy !req
59. What the fuck? What the fuck's
going on with this thing.Copy !req
60. Come on Ricky! Try it again.Copy !req
61. I don't know what the fuck's
going on with it.Copy !req
62. Be really still.Copy !req
63. easy now, I know the forest
fire gets them upset...Copy !req
64. Alright, get out.Copy !req
65. Lahey and Randy!Copy !req
66. How the fuck did they get here?Copy !req
67. Fuckitty chomp in the fuck!Copy !req
68. Randy, what the fuck are you
doing here? How'd you find us?Copy !req
69. Mr.
Swayzie train is coming with us
gentlemen.Copy !req
70. What the fuck are you doing
shooting at Shitty Bill, you
liquored up dummies?Copy !req
71. Look at ya. Too drunk to do
anything.Copy !req
72. Everyone knows how it goes down
with you and the liquor Jim.Copy !req
73. You can't pace yourself.Copy !req
74. Mr.
Maybe I had a few drinks.Copy !req
75. But maybe I know how all this is
going to go down Julian.Copy !req
76. Cause you're going to jail,
Richard. Even sexy guys go to
jail, Julian.Copy !req
77. Cause I'm willing to bet you
have. Fucking drunk.Copy !req
78. Mr.
Hey! Guys, I'm serious here.Copy !req
79. He's frigging serious.Copy !req
80. Mr.
Randy!Copy !req
81. Fuck off boys.Copy !req
82. Mr.
You guys are under arrest for
grand theft Swayzie train.Copy !req
83. You're under fuck off for grand
fucking offing.Copy !req
84. Oh, fuck!Copy !req
85. What the fuck! Oh, you went
too fucking far this time Lahey.Copy !req
86. You crossed the fucking line,
you shot Julian.Copy !req
87. Mr.
It wasn't me.Copy !req
88. Fuck. You okay?Copy !req
89. Would you help me out here
Ricky?Copy !req
90. Lahey fucking shot you.Copy !req
91. Fuck!Copy !req
92. Mr.
I'm sorry Julian.Copy !req
93. Fuck off Lahey!Copy !req
94. Mr.
It wasn't me Julian, it was the
liquor.Copy !req
95. Bubbles, Lahey and Randy shot
me. We gotta get out of here.Copy !req
96. How though man? The car won't
fucking start.Copy !req
97. Why is this happening to us now?Copy !req
98. How could they
possibly find you out hereCopy !req
99. in the middle of nowhere Julian,
unless somebody told them?Copy !req
100. Did you fucking tell Lahey you
little stick bitch.Copy !req
101. Yeah Ricky, I'm
not an impossibilist.Copy !req
102. What the fuck is that supposed
to mean?Copy !req
103. Think about it
Ricky.Copy !req
104. Fucking kissed me.Copy !req
105. No, wait, we're friends. I
wouldn't do anything like that.Copy !req
106. Come on boys, there's something
I'd like to show you.Copy !req
107. Why don't you show them what you
put in his gas tank Twiddly
McGee.Copy !req
108. I would wager that your gas tank
has a delicious tasty flavour.Copy !req
109. It is delicious. Sugarish.Copy !req
110. Sugar!Copy !req
111. Why Jacob?Copy !req
112. No, I didn't, it wasn't.Copy !req
113. Take off your shirt.Copy !req
114. Why? I mean, no way. There's
bugs. It's cold.Copy !req
115. He's wearing a fucking wire.
Should I shoot him Julian?Copy !req
116. I can't believe this man.Copy !req
117. Mr.
Don't move. You are surrounded.Copy !req
118. There are many guns pointed at
you right now.Copy !req
119. What's going on up here boys?
We heard some gun shots.Copy !req
120. They shot my friend there.Copy !req
121. One's got a big gut, no shirt
on. Fucking smells like
barbeque sauce.Copy !req
122. The other one is dressed as a
cop or something fucked up.Copy !req
123. They are fucking weird and
they're wasted.Copy !req
124. Forest Ranger:
You know, I thought I smelled
barbeque sauce, coming up here.Copy !req
125. Fuck off hillybillies.Copy !req
126. Forest Ranger:
Alright now boys. Just relax.
Just relax.Copy !req
127. There's no such thing as hill
billies up here in these woods.Copy !req
128. Forest Ranger:
You guys stay down. Amanda!Copy !req
129. Let's get the fuck out of here.Copy !req
130. Julian, let me explain.Copy !req
131. I'm taking this fucking thing,
right here.Copy !req
132. Bubbs, come on, get in.Copy !req
133. There's tons of room.Copy !req
134. Jacob, get the fuck out of here.Copy !req
135. Let's move it Rick, come on.Copy !req
136. Alright, I gotta figure this
fucking thing out.Copy !req
137. I'm really sorry guys.Copy !req
138. You let me down Jacob.Copy !req
139. Nice fuck up Jacob.Copy !req
140. Come on Ricky, faster.Copy !req
141. Please Julian. You can't leave
us here.Copy !req
142. I love you Julian!Copy !req
143. Just keep going the fuck
downstream.Copy !req
144. It's the fastest way out of here
Rick.Copy !req
145. Mr.
Ahoy Shitliner. Shitliner's
finally come to port boysCopy !req
146. and guess who's here to tie her
up!Copy !req
147. What the fuck Lahey? Don't you
ever give up? Fuck off.Copy !req
148. that Swayzie Express and get the
fucking fifty thousand dollars
reward money.Copy !req
149. More important than that Randy,
I'd like to go out in a blaze of
gloryCopy !req
150. and make an arrest and then
people will know, Jim Lahey was
a good cop.Copy !req
151. Forest Ranger:
Watch those rocks here.
Watch that tree!Copy !req
152. Okay, I think they are out here.Copy !req
153. Wah hoo! Today's getaway has
been brought to you by theCopy !req
154. letter "F" for
"fucked in the head"Copy !req
155. Which you are Ricky!Copy !req
156. What the fuck is wrong
with this thing?Copy !req
157. Who the fuck is that?
Amerinicans!Copy !req
158. Which one of you guys is Conky?Copy !req
159. Phone messages?Copy !req
160. What are you talking about
Conky?Copy !req
161. You're all under arrest.Copy !req
162. Fucking sold us out didn't you!Copy !req
163. Ricky, calm down, we gotta
figure this out.Copy !req
164. Alright, this thing is going to
escalate guys.Copy !req
165. Let's lock it down. Okay, let
me see your hands guys.Copy !req
166. Let me see your hands.Copy !req
167. Mr.
Fuck off over there. This is my
arrest.Copy !req
168. Bubbles, you gotta lose the
puppet and put up your hands,Copy !req
169. they need to see both of them.Copy !req
170. I don't want Conky to get shot.Copy !req
171. Drop him, drop him.Copy !req
172. Fuck, there they are.Copy !req
173. Alright guys, get your hands up
now where we can see them.Copy !req
174. You there in the red, let me see
your right hand, son.Copy !req
175. Let me see your right hand.Copy !req
176. You're going to get yourself
shot.Copy !req
177. Put up your fucking hand. We're
going to get shot.Copy !req
178. Like this. Ah, ah.Copy !req
179. Fire!Copy !req
180. Hold your fire. Hold your fire.
It's a puppet.Copy !req
181. Loch Ness Monster balls,
I've been shot!Copy !req
182. What the fuck was that?Copy !req
183. You just shot those guys?Copy !req
184. Help me Julian, I'm shot in the
leg.Copy !req
185. Jacob, you okay?Copy !req
186. Put pressure on the wound,
you'll be okay buddy.Copy !req
187. I love you bud.Copy !req
188. You gotta deal with Conky man,
or we're going to die here.Copy !req
189. Bubbles, you know what you have
to do with Conky.Copy !req
190. Okay? So snap out of it and do
it!Copy !req
191. Come on!Copy !req
192. Googly eyed bastard.Copy !req
193. What the fuck did you call me?
You're going under Conky.Copy !req
194. That's right Bubbles, drowned
him, drowned him.Copy !req
195. Bubbles, we're
a team like Abott...Copy !req
196. Dirty dirty dancing...Copy !req
197. Jesus Fuckin...Copy !req
198. I'll fucking kill you.Copy !req
199. What the fuck is going on?Copy !req
200. He's gone. He's gone. What the
fuck am I doing boys?Copy !req
201. We surrender. We will not put
up a fight.Copy !req
202. Who in the fuck's in charge here
anyway?Copy !req
203. I'm in charge.Copy !req
204. Mr.
I'm in charge here!Copy !req
205. Actually, I'm in fucking charge.
Me.Copy !req
206. I'm the one in charge here not
you idiots or you idiots, me.Copy !req
207. Here's the deal. That's the US
with all the fucking fancy guys,Copy !req
208. DEA, ATF, whatever the fuck that
means, and FBI.Copy !req
209. This is Canada with drunkey the
clown and his little gut friend
andCopy !req
210. two alien Trevors and fucking
Jacob the twig alien and the
Forest Pricks.Copy !req
211. Forest Ranger:
They don't pick a side to go to,
we can't make an arrest.Copy !req
212. Alright, this is the middle of
the river, borderland.Copy !req
213. So basically we can pick who
busts us.Copy !req
214. Make up your minds. Come on,
we'll go easy on you over here.Copy !req
215. Mr.
We'll go easy on you over here
too Rick. No big deal.Copy !req
216. Bud, bring the boat back over to
Canada, bud.Copy !req
217. I don't trust you, you're wasted
out of your god-damned mind.Copy !req
218. What are you going to charge us
with?Copy !req
219. Mr.
No big charge Rick, just
internationally drug smuggler.Copy !req
220. Gotta have that Rick. I'll drop
all the other charges.Copy !req
221. There's no drugs and no tobacco.
It's gone, it's over.Copy !req
222. You missed it. You're stupid.
So go the fuck home.Copy !req
223. Go home? I've got twenty men
in back up, I'm on overtime,Copy !req
224. I've spent my budget for the
year. Helicopters.Copy !req
225. I'm in the middle of a fucking
forest fire.Copy !req
226. I'm going home, but someone's
going with me. Someone's gotta
go to jail.Copy !req
227. About five, six months, tops.Copy !req
228. Mr.
Listen, if there's no
international drug bust charges,Copy !req
229. I need the Trazie's Express Bus,
that way Randy and meCopy !req
230. get to split fifty grand and we
get to meet Patrick Swayze.Copy !req
231. Cause we're big fans of his
Ricky.Copy !req
232. How fucking drunk are you right
now?Copy !req
233. Mr.
Six out of ten.Copy !req
234. Oh fuck! What are you going to
give us for jail time Lahey?Copy !req
235. Mr.
Two, three months, max.Copy !req
236. Forest Rangers:
Endangering protected beavers,Copy !req
237. and we ain't willing to bargain
on that.Copy !req
238. What the fuck do you get for
cocking over beavers?Copy !req
239. You go to jail for that?Copy !req
240. Forest Ranger:
Five hundred dollars or thirty
days in jail.Copy !req
241. For stealing my Argo, you get it
back over here,Copy !req
242. we'll talk about not charging
you for that.Copy !req
243. Well, we didn't steal it, we
just fucking borrowed it.Copy !req
244. But alright, that's not too bad.
Just a second.Copy !req
245. Okay, we're going to talk this
out and figure it out.Copy !req
246. You guys can go for a piss or
have a couple of drinks in that
situation, whatever.Copy !req
247. Number one, I can't believe
someone's going to jail for
fucking beavers,Copy !req
248. but I may as well take that.
Dad's in jail in the US anyway,
I can see him.Copy !req
249. Give me the video tape. I can't
go to jail everywhere.Copy !req
250. All three of them are over
there. Two of them are little
fuck goofs,Copy !req
251. one of them's a little alien
twiggy. We're going to leave
him over there,Copy !req
252. but we'll bring the fuck goofs
to you guys so you can takeCopy !req
253. somebody home with you, if
that's what you need.Copy !req
254. I'll go with the forest fuckies
and fucking deal with this
beaver shit.Copy !req
255. Are we cool here?Copy !req
256. Alright, come on you guys.Copy !req
257. and I want to get drunk today.Copy !req
258. Well, there's been enough talk.
Let's see some action, come on.Copy !req
259. Fuck, I hate this thing!Copy !req
260. People here are really friendly.Copy !req
261. Oh, the food is fucking
fantastic.Copy !req
262. That's right. We got our GEDs
going.Copy !req
263. Cause the book learning tests
are way easier down hereCopy !req
264. than they are in Canada. I got
my fucking Grade 11.Copy !req
265. I got my fucking Grade 9.Copy !req
266. I'm going to be sad to leave
this place, but can't wait toCopy !req
267. get back to Sunnyvale. We got a
lot of money waiting for us back
there.Copy !req
268. No shit. What's for supper
tonight bud?Copy !req
269. Uh, fucking lobster bisque, king
crab legs, scallopsCopy !req
270. and strawberry shortcake for
dessert.Copy !req
271. Oh fuck, right on!Copy !req
272. Despite all the bull shit and
problems I went through lately,Copy !req
273. the deal actually worked.
Shitty Bill got back to the park
withCopy !req
274. all the cigarettes and I made
four hundred and eighty thousand
dollars.Copy !req
275. I'm retired now. I can't
believe it. I actually made
something of myself.Copy !req
276. Mr.
I realize now Ran and myself
don't need to go to Mexico.Copy !req
277. This is our Mexico. I resigned
from the force. It was too
much.Copy !req
278. I was meant to be a drunk
trailer park supervisor.Copy !req
279. It's what I was born to do.Copy !req
280. I never saw it coming. Jacob
and I totally fell in love.Copy !req
281. I think he's the best looking
guy I've ever seen.Copy !req
282. I don't really like the whole
Julian thing, but you know,Copy !req
283. I'm slowly working on it. We'd
have to move into his dad's RVCopy !req
284. for a while but I'm considering
living with him and Phil CollinsCopy !req
285. until we can afford our own
place.Copy !req
286. with Randy and Lahey for a
while, you know what I'm saying.Copy !req
287. But now we aight with them and
me and T realize it's time to
grow upCopy !req
288. and get some family shit going.
Family life's kind of tight.
Saying.Copy !req
289. I might even get back into the
rap game one of these days.Copy !req
290. Fatherhood has changed me big
time.Copy !req
291. It's helped me figure out a few
things. Become more
responsible.Copy !req
292. I know what I want in life now.
All I really want to doCopy !req
293. is get high and mow lawns in the
trailer park. And that's okay.Copy !req
294. in a weird way, give Ricky sort
of a second chance at parentingCopy !req
295. and sort of getting himself
together and if Ban's cool with
itCopy !req
296. and Rick's cool with it, it's
going to be really cool, I
think.Copy !req
297. Yeah, I think things worked out
for the best really.Copy !req
298. I miss the road, but I just
don't think that this was the
right timeCopy !req
299. that I was on it so, no I've got
a new grandson now,Copy !req
300. and uh, well it's Randy's but
it's mine really.Copy !req
301. No, I'm just basically drinking
and having a good time.Copy !req
302. That's the way she goes. That's
the way she fucking goes.Copy !req
303. I've been feeling like a million
bucks lately.Copy !req
304. I decided to go see and
therapist and he told me it was
perfectly normalCopy !req
305. to get that stressed out hanging
around people like RickyCopy !req
306. and Julian and Randy, crazy Mr.
Lahey. Conky was justCopy !req
307. some sort of defence mechanism
that my brain createdCopy !req
308. so that I wouldn't go right off
the deep end. So in a way,Copy !req
309. Conky pretty much saved my life.Copy !req
310. So these days I'm just rocking
with the boys and rocking with
my kitties.Copy !req
311. Well, me and the old man got out
of jail this timeCopy !req
312. and things were quite a bit
different. I mean, it was the
first timeCopy !req
313. I got out of jail where I was
fucking rich you know.Copy !req
314. It was good to have a bit of
money and I got my family back,Copy !req
315. Lucy, Trin, and the new baby
which is kind of Randy'sCopy !req
316. by birthing and stuff but it's
pretty much my baby I thinkCopy !req
317. and you know, now I've got the
money to supporting itCopy !req
318. and even though it's his by
birthing, I can be just as good
of a dadCopy !req
319. to it as if it was my own by it.
And after all that jail and
crazy shitCopy !req
320. that I've been through over the
years, I finally got my brainCopy !req
321. to be learnt that all that
really matters I guess is your
friends and family.Copy !req
322. That's all that matters to me
now.Copy !req
323. yeah, like a sausageCopy !req
324. Can I get you something from the
grill?Copy !req
325. Yeah, a burger with four
patties.Copy !req
326. Bottle kids.Copy !req
327. Don't worry it'll be over in a
secondCopy !req
328. Phil Collins:Copy !req
329. What in the fuck!Copy !req
330. I'll get you two doubles and
make it your self.Copy !req
331. Mr.
Drinks on the house everybody.Copy !req
332. Good job on the burgers there
Phil.Copy !req
333. Pour yourself a drink,
Philadelphia.Copy !req