Trailer Park Boys 4x8

1. - Barb, where's Ricky? - He's in the trailer.

2. Let's go get him.

3. Holy fuck!

4. Ricky!

5. Ricky?

6. What in the fuck?

7. Fuck. Are you guys alright ? She blew.

8. She blew. Ricky!

9. - Ricky! - Holy fuck!

10. I thought you were a goner Your cigarette is on fire!

11. - Oh, Ricky. - Put 'em down.

12. Jesus, the hot tub saved me. It must be fire retardant

13. or something. It saved me. What the fuck happened?

14. When we saw Lahey earlier, he had two full propane tanks,

15. he was drunk as fuck and he pissed himself.

16. I think he's trying to kill you, Rick.

17. Julian, Lahey's way too fucking stupid

18. to come up with this shit.

19. Tick-tock, tick-tock, the shit clock's ticking, Rick

20. You trying to fucking kill me, huh?

21. What the fuck did I ever do to you?

22. Jim Lahey, you are sick!

23. Listen, the cops found the dope fields.

24. - What? - We just heard it on the news

25. They didn't find the big one , though. Up by Highway 5.

26. We gotta harvest tonight, Ricky. Come on, get it together.

27. Fuck, we're probably not going to be able to use this truck

28. How are we gonna get the dope to Moncton?

29. - Don't worry about that. - Come on, Ricky.

30. T - Well, wait a second, Ricky. Don't you think that we ough

31. to call the fire departmen t or something, honey?

32. Barb, it's a little fuckin worse than it looks, so fuck it.

33. I gotta get some cigarette s and cops and dope and...

34. I gotta get something to eat

35. What the fuck? Ricky, wher e the fuck are Corey and Trevor?

36. They better not be in that fucking trailer.

37. They weren't fucking in there. I don't know where they're at.

38. It's not my fault they got off their leeches. Guess what else

39. Fuck Corey and Trevor. Lucy, smokes, let's go.

40. - Fuck you! - You know what, Ricky?

41. You better start caring abou what happens to Corey and Trevor

42. or you're going to be sorry. Oh, is that right?

43. Yeah, it is right, Ricky. Nice, girls. Great.

44. Real nice to see you. Nice.

45. Come on, Ricky. We gotta get to the dope field

46. Go get changed and hurry up. I gotta get changed too.

47. I can't harvest dope in my goo d clothes. They'll get ruined.

48. Bubbles, you gotta hurry up. We got no time to waste here

49. Jesus, Ricky!

50. Officer George Green, please

51. Ah, oh, George, it's Barb Lahey.

52. Listen, I, um, I am sorry to bother you,

53. but it's Jim. I think he's lost it.

54. Oh, hi, Barb. Yeah, I know about Ricky.

55. Yeah, well, someone had to kill him, Barb.

56. Terry,

57. that is fucking awesome news , buddy. Thank you so much.

58. Look, I'll send some weed to the library, okay?

59. Talk to Phil. Thanks, buddy. Talk to you later.

60. G Corey and Trevor are on the way, they'll to start harvestin

61. right away. Just talked to fucking Terry

62. He's got a deal set up with a courier company.

63. We can express-ship the whol e shipment right to Moncton

64. with courier thing, guaranteed by 12 o'clock tomorrow.

65. If we can pull this off, we'll have enough money

66. d to buy the trailer park. How are we gonna get the wee

67. to the courier company? We're gonna go borrow a truck,

68. fill it full of weed, they'r e gonna take care of the rest.

69. The only problem is it takes 30 fucking points

70. - What? - There you mo-fuckers are

71. o Know what I'm saying? What's this shit on the radi

72. about the cops found your weed? No shit.

73. Don't say you got no mo-fucking weed?

74. The show is in two motherfucking days, man,

75. and my shit's on the line. I need some motherfucking weed

76. Will you chill the fuck out? Listen, we got one field left.

77. Everything's going to be cool. Lots of weed.

78. I got a whole field of fucking weed. I got more weed

79. than you or anybody can have There's lots of fucking weed

80. Landscaping company over here,

81. if anybody's wondering what all the weed talk is.

82. Ricky, what the fuck happene d to your head?

83. Fucking Lahey blew me up What happened to your head

84. Why you wearing a wig, J-Roc ? That's fucked.

85. Man, I ain't J-Roc. That mo-fucker's in jail, yo

86. This ain't J-Roc. J-Roc' s in jail 'till the album drops.

87. That's right, T.

88. Boys, let's go harvest. We got until sunrise

89. before the cops start searchin g again. Let's go.

90. See you guys in Moncton.

91. Terry said it should be open The keys should be in it.

92. - Throw me your donair, Ricky. - Don't eat any of it, Bubbles

93. Here, take my handgun.

94. Go boys, move!

95. It's come down to this, boys

96. We're gonna be rich or we're going the fuck back to jail.

97. Julian, what the fuck are you talking about?

98. We're not going to jail.

99. Ricky. Corey and Trevor. Think about it.

100. Those guys are responsible for all that dope, man.

101. I dunno.

102. It's gonna be fine. I know they're stupid as fuck,

103. but they're getting a lot smartable and they can do this

104. One, cut down the weed. Two, bundle in neat piles

105. and put in bags. Man, that's easy.

106. Three, keep in radio contact and don't fuck nothing up.

107. Oh, we fucked up. Damn, dude, Sarah.

108. We didn't do the dishes or clean the litter. We're fucked.

109. She's gonna freak. Don't worry about it.

110. , I needed a break anyway. We'll go home, take care of that

111. come back here and finish this up. It'll be 20 minutes

112. They'll never know we were gone. Nice.

113. Turn off the fucking lights, Bubbles.

114. Oh, yeah, Ricky, that's no problem.

115. Here, I'll just switch those off

116. d and manoeuvre this giganti c truck down a little narrow roa

117. in the pitch black.

118. Here, try Corey and Trevor again.

119. Ricky, put that out.

120. Papa Bear to Dick and Weed Where in the fuck are you guys

121. We're almost to the den.

122. For fuck's sakes. They must be still harvesting.

123. Hope they're almost fucking done.

124. Holy fuck, boys.

125. What? What?

126. S - I'm fucking baked, but I think I just saw Lahey in a dres

127. in the woods. It looked just like him.

128. I swear to fuck. Ricky, give me the joint

129. Idiot. Thank you, thank you.

130. Ricky, you got the whole fucking cab here hot-boxed.

131. I can't see jack shit.

132. Oh, fuck!

133. - Fuck! - Omigod!

134. , - Was that a fucking moose? Omigod, boys. I don't know

135. but whatever it was, it flippe d over about three fucking times

136. What if it was a Samsquanch? Bubbles, turn on the lights.

137. - Oh, fuck! - Hello?

138. Are there any survivors?

139. Thank God you're here, dudes What's up?

140. Why in the fuck aren't you guys harvesting the dope?

141. You better be fucking done. Well, we just started.

142. Yeah, we forgot to do some shit for Sarah,

143. but we're coming right bac k as soon as we're done.

144. How fucked in the head are you guys?

145. I left you a simple little list. The sun's probably gonna be up

146. in three fucking hours, you morons!

147. Ricky, can you get us out of here, please?

148. The car's on fire. It coul d blow. We gotta get them out.

149. Bubbles, it's gonna burn itself out. It's no big deal

150. Trevor, stop complaining Stop being so fucking selfish.

151. Let's go, smokes. You're fucking lucky.

152. Well, I want to thank you two,

153. because we are now officially fucked.

154. Ricky, we're not fucked yet. We just need to find

155. some people to help us harvest Come on, boys, we can do this.

156. Oh, yeah, Julian, it shouldn't be too hard,

157. out in the middle of fucking nowhere here.

158. Find a whole bunch of people to help us, that's easy enough

159. Dude, the car is on fire! Corey, it's not that bad

160. All right? Stop complaining, get down there

161. and cover your faces. I know what we're going to do here.

162. The two of you, shut the fuck up.

163. - We're sorry, Ricky. - Put your head down.

164. Shut the fuck up.

165. I can't believe how fucking stupid you two are

166. Okay, boys, sit tight.

167. - We have to leave you here. - We gotta get a chain.

168. All right, boys, here come s our miracle. Stay cool.

169. Stop the fucking bus! Open the door! Open the fucking door!

170. Okay, everybody, we're not here to hurt anyone.

171. We just need your help for a little while.

172. We just need one hour of your time to help us

173. harvest some plants. Anybody that helps

174. can carry as many plants awa y with them as they want.

175. Then you can go back to whatever the fuck it is you do.

176. Holy fuck! Do you have any idea who in the fuck this is

177. I know who they are. They're fucking harvesters

178. Let's go! Drive. Everybody up!

179. , I still see a lot of weed here, people

180. we gotta pick up the pace.

181. Can everybody please shut up

182. ? It's a working man I am

183. There's too much fucking weed, Julian.

184. ? And I been down underground

185. We're never gonna finish this. ? And I swear?

186. ? If I ever see the sun?

187. It's fucking Corey and Trevor's fault.

188. Well, harvesting's a nightmare We got 4,200 plants

189. and that's a lot of work. You gotta pick the plants,

190. take the leaves off, dry them,

191. get them ready for sale. It's a lot of work.

192. This is serious shit. This is weed.

193. Ricky! You're forcing Rita MacNeil and her band

194. to harvest dope at gunpoint.

195. You could be a little bit fucking nicer, you know.

196. They could be a little bit faster.

197. - Stop being such a dick. - I'm sorry.

198. Here's a nice one here, dear

199. Thanks. I'm sorry for yelling at you guys,

200. but we've gotta get this stuff out of here.

201. I've only got an hour, is the big problem here.

202. I'm not trying to be mean. I'm just stretched out.

203. I fucking hate harvesting. I like planting the things

204. and watering them, and looking after them,

205. talking to them. I don't lik e fucking harvesting.

206. - You like smoking them, though. - Oh, I like smoking them.

207. Julian, we gotta get Corey and Trevor out of that wreck too

208. Ah, shit! We don't have time , Bubbles.

209. We can't leave them out here in the middle of nowhere!

210. All right, all right. Let' s start packing this stuff up.

211. Okay, easy, Bubs.

212. Well, it's working, boys We're following them.

213. Don't try to make any sudden stops, boys.

214. I can't believe how fuckin g stupid those guys are.

215. Let's just park in the middl e of the road with no lights on.

216. Ricky, you told them not to have their lights on.

217. It's not totally their fault I couldn't see a thing either.

218. I know that, but it was their fucking fault

219. All right, buddy, here comes the pavement.

220. Home trees, boys. Whoo!

221. All right, it should be smooth sailing now.

222. It's a lot fucking easier going.

223. Can you see how it's got mor e power now, on the pavement

224. I can't believe we did it.

225. Boys?

226. I don't want to cause unnecessary alarm,

227. but I think we might have a little situation here.

228. Let's just... What are you doing?

229. - What is it, Bubs? - Chain broke.

230. What in the fuck?

231. Turn around and go get them.

232. Oh, fuck! Are you kidding me? We have to.

233. Holy fuck, those guys fuck up a lot.

234. So you think it's possible this pile of burning cars

235. has nothing to do with us?

236. Boys, I got no brakes! Gear down, Bubbles! Gear down!

237. Fuck!

238. Fuck, boys, what are we going to do?

239. You better not be workin g the streets again, Randy.

240. Where's Jim? I don't know.

241. , I don't give a fuck. I'm just trying to work here

242. make some extra money to feed myself.

243. Take me to jail, George, I don't care.

244. Or if you got 10 bucks...

245. Boys, we're fucked!

246. The cops are going to be here.

247. What are we going to do?

248. Dudes, thanks for coming back. Can you get us out now?

249. I cannot believe you idiot s fucked up again.

250. Now shut the fuck up. We're taking care of it.

251. Ricky, we're gonna have to get another courier down here now.

252. Julian, how are we gonna get another courier here?

253. Here. Call this number, ask for Terry,

254. tell him where we are. Terry, yeah.

255. I don't trust Terry and I don't trust DVD.

256. I'm going to Moncton with the dope. Fuck it.

257. - I'll go with you, Ricky. - Neither one of you guys

258. are going with the dope. It's too risky.

259. It's too much money and to o much dope. Think about it.

260. Someone has to go to Moncton with the dope.

261. - I'm pinned. I'm pinned. - Push, dickweed!

262. - You push! - Ow!

263. - Omigod, thank you. - Oh, thank you so much!

264. Shut up. The two of you guys , shut the fuck up.

265. I gotta get all of these packages to Moncton.

266. One of your drivers was drunk, had an accident, took off.

267. I don't know where the fuck he's at.

268. , You got any tape? Uh, masking tape, clear tape

269. packing tape, opaque tape? Go get some fucking tape

270. Go get some fucking tape, there, Fuck-Ex! Come on,

271. this is weed on the ground here.

272. - Boys, I'm glad you're out. - Ah, thanks, dude.

273. - Ow! - Hey, what are you doing?

274. Corey and Trevor, get the fuck up here. Sorry about this.

275. You gotta go to Moncton with the dope. Just a couple of hours

276. DVD's going to be there waitin g for you. Hook up with him.

277. Do what he says and transpor t what he tells you to transport

278. Cops catch you, we don't kno w you. It's only fair, boys.

279. This is the biggest missio n we've ever asked you to do

280. Can you do it? Yo, we got this.

281. Can we at least get our chip s out of the car?

282. - Well, where are they? - They're in the car.

283. Here they are.

284. Here, boys, give them- I need those, boys, I'm sorry.

285. I'm fucking starving. Oh, come on, dude.

286. What in the fuck?

287. Fuck off, Lahey, I don't got time for this shit

288. Julian, get my fucking gun It's in the truck.

289. Ricky, no guns. Jim, Jim, Jim, no guns. Look, see?

290. No guns. Everything's cool , buddy.

291. Jim, what the fuck are you doing?

292. Put the gun away before someone gets hurt.

293. Oh, someone is gonna get hurt, Julian.

294. You've completely lost your mind, haven't you, Lahey?

295. Oh, have I lost my mind, Ricky?

296. Or is this the way the world ends?

297. Are you fucking nuts?

298. Dispatch, this is East 85. Jim Lahey's lost his goddamned mind.

299. I need backup, I need ERT. King and Portland, now.

300. You have about one minut e left to live, boy.

301. Is that right? What's this all about, Lahey

302. Fine, you're the fucking Trailer Park Supervisor.

303. Is that all you want me to say

304. Jim Lahey is the Trailer Par k Supervisor, not me.

305. He's the best fucking supervisor in the world.

306. Do a great job, Jim. Yippee-yeah.

307. Put down the guns.

308. Check this out.

309. - Jesus Christ! - Come on, Jim, it's George.

310. Put the guns down. Ricky,

311. it's time to say goodbye.

312. I'm about to extinguish your little shit-flame forever

313. You got time for one last word , boy?

314. - Knock-knock. - Who's there, Ricky?

315. A drunk Trailer Park Supervisor

316. with fucking guns and dynamite,

317. drunk, with a fucking dress on,

318. who's going fucking back to jail for a long fucking time.

319. I'm Nancy Regan at downtown Dartmouth,

320. where an armed standoff has just begun.

321. A middle-aged, intoxicated man wearing a dress

322. and strapped with dynamite has taken another man -

323. younger, intoxicated, also possibly on drugs - hostage.

324. Have you seen this shit? You see what's going on here

325. You've got the SWAT team here, fucking cops everywhere.

326. You're on the fucking news live here. You happy about that?

327. - Can we have a moment? - No, you can't.

328. I'm about to get fucking shot. Fuck off.

329. I hope you're happy with yourself, 'cause you fucked up

330. You fucked up big-time. Oh, yeah, Rick?

331. - Yeah. - How's this for big-time?

332. How do you like that, Ricky?

333. That's what I'm talking about. That's a big-time fuck-up.

334. You're going to jail for this.

335. I might shoot you, and then I might shoot myself.

336. I'll tell you what. You guess, Ricky.

337. You guess who I'm going to shoot first.

338. Will it be you, Rick? No.

339. - Or will it be me? - Yeah.

340. - You? - No.

341. - Me? - Yeah.

342. - Ricky? - Shoot yourself! Not me!

343. I got two loaded guns pointed straight at you.

344. Yeah, and I'm not too fucking happy about that

345. I'm not trying to tell you how to do your job,

346. but you need Randy here immediately.

347. He might be our only hope. Jen, get Randy.

348. I saw him working the street s earlier at King Donair.

349. If he's not there, try the McDonald's parking lot

350. Will somebody please shoot this fucking guy?

351. - Someone give me a minute. - Somebody give me a smoke,

352. if I got one minute left t o live. You got any smokes?

353. I know you got some on you Give me a fucking smoke.

354. You don't need a smoke, Ricky.

355. Say a little prayer, boy.

356. Let me roll a joint, something, please.

357. I'm prepared to die if it will make Sunnyvale

358. a better place to live.

359. I don't want to hurt anybody except Ricky.

360. So everybody just go home and let me do what I have to do.

361. Jim, put down your weapons Don't make us shoot you.

362. You're just drunk. You just need to sober up.

363. You'll see how crazy all this is.

364. George, why don't you put down the fucking bullhorn.

365. We're ten feet away, for fuck's sakes.

366. Jim, you used to be an officer, for Christ's sake.

367. George, I only had two drinks.

368. And like you said, I used to b e an officer, George.

369. Used to be.

370. Ricky,

371. I'm either gonna kill you

372. and spend the rest of my lif e in jail,

373. or I'm gonna kill us both, Rick.

374. You got a smoke, man?

375. You don't even know what the fuck is going on here, do you?

376. Lahey, please give me a cigarette before you shoot me.

377. Please.

378. You're the reason, Rick.

379. You're the fucking reason.

380. George, Dean has a shot.

381. Last chance, Jim! Put down your weapons

382. or we'll have to make our move

383. George, there's dope in those boxes.

384. George,

385. you are the dumbest cop on the force.

386. The dumbest.

387. Take the shot.

388. Ah, fuck! Ah, fuck!

389. I'm fucking shot again! You idiots!

390. Sorry about that That was an accident.

391. We were trying to knock the gun out of Jim's hand

392. and we fucked up. George!

393. You get this guys out of here.

394. You happy now? I'm fucking shot!

395. You're the reason, Ricky, that I never made any difference.

396. Oh, Jesus Christ...

397. Mr. Lahey!

398. You made a difference to me, Mr. Lahey.

399. You got me off the streets onc e

400. and then I became an Assistant Trailer Park Supervisor.

401. Please, Mr. Lahey, get me off the streets again

402. Randy, I'm sorry, boy.

403. I need a fucking doctor over here!

404. I gotta do what I gotta do. Plead insanity

405. and you'll be back in the park in six weeks with me.

406. Please, Mr. Lahey.

407. You're the only one that eve r made any sense, Randy.

408. Let's go home, Mr. Lahey

409. I want everyone to fucking know

410. if there's any court bullshi t over this, you guys shot me!

411. I didn't do a fucking thing! I'll sue every one of you!

412. You guys getting this? Every bit of it?

413. Names, let's go! Names! Who shot me? Did you fucking shoot me?

414. Why are you guys pointing your guns at me, still?

415. Cops pointing guns at me, Shooting me for no reason!

416. Hi, there. Ricky, we probabl y should, you know...

417. deal with some stuff here. Give the microphone

418. back to the lady and let's get the fuck out of here.

419. Well, I guess we're done here.

420. So who was driving the truck , boys?

421. Better not have been you, Julian!

422. Drinking and driving, you know that.

423. , - George, it was actually me that was driving. Here, look

424. I got my rig license right there.

425. Bubbles, this has got to b e the worst fake license

426. I've seen in my life. It's illegal, too. Here, Karen

427. - Ah, fuck! Watch the leg. - I am.

428. What's this, Richard? 15 onegram joints,

429. which I can now legally carry. So go fuck yourself.

430. You know what, George? The way I see it,

431. you guys got nothing. Not a fucking thing.

432. If you try to prosecute this,

433. you're gonna look like a fucking idiot.

434. You know who's going to jail , George? You guys are. Not me

435. I'm not going to fucking jail, you are.

436. Apparently they got this stupid rule

437. , that 'cause I'm on probation , I can't carry any dope on me

438. which is bullshit. Anyway, I don't care.

439. E Now I'm here and hanging out with the boys. Terry's her

440. and Phil and... You know, it's gonna be a good time.

441. The food's been good so far. There's lots of dope

442. going around now, 'cause you can't smoke,

443. so there's more dope and that's pretty cool.

444. Jail's not nearly as bad as I thought.

445. , I mean, I get drunk in her e with the boys all the time

446. there's good dope in here, good books, satellite TV.

447. They gave me a new suit to wea r

448. that's kind of like a spaceman suit.

449. The bad part is I talked to Barb and she dumped me

450. 'cause I'm in jail, which, you know, I don't understand

451. , Like if chicks could just come to jail and see what it's like

452. they'd realize it's no big dea I at all. It's a good time.

453. But, no, they gotta freak out.

454. "Oh, you're in jail, I gotta dump you."

455. So I just can't believe everything went so smooth

456. r with Corey and Trevor. I mean, we tracked the waybill numbe

457. and everything went off perfectly. I mean...

458. we're getting out of here and we're buying the park.

459. Car, paid for, cash. Trailer, paid for cash.

460. For years, Ricky and Julia n have been fucking with us, man

461. They're always hard on Trevor. So you know what?

462. It feels damn good. We jacked their money.

463. And now I have no time or cand y for them bitches, man,

464. 'cause they played themselves. Those guys wanted to buy

465. the trailer park? Well, fuck them.

466. We bought the trailer park. No w we're players and we're cool

467. I'm really proud of Mr. Lahey.

468. He hasn't mentioned Ricky once

469. That's a huge sign of improvement.

470. It's so strange without Mr. Lahey in the trailer park.

471. But he's not going to be here long.

472. He's going to get out soon Right, Mr. Lahey?

473. The judge even granted me permission

474. to look after one of my kitties: Vince the Pinse

475. He was born with no bones in his foot, here,

476. and he's got these floppy little fingers,

477. so he can't look after himself

478. Actually, he can look afte r himself just fine,

479. I just tricked the judge,

480. 'cause I wanted the little mo-fucker in here with me.

481. Ha. What are you saying?

482. What are you saying?