Trailer Park Boys 1x1

1. Oh, my! Fuck! Look who it is, man!

2. Is that him?

3. Right there. Right over there.

4. Is that him?

5. Put your gun away! There's people everywhere!

6. - Put your fucking gun away! - Taking him out.

7. Put your gun down, man. I'm serious.

8. You want to get arrested?

9. You guys, leave us alone.

10. Leave him there! Walk away from the dog!

11. Release the dog, asshole!

12. Leave us alone!

13. - Release the dog! - Put the fucking dog down!

14. Release him!

15. Put the fucking gun down! Put it down!

16. Put it down!

17. - Put the fucking gun down! - Put the gun down!

18. My name is Julian.

19. Today is a special day

20. because I'm finally getting out of prison.

21. I've been looking forward to this day for the past 18 months.

22. My name's Ricky, and I've been in here for about 18 months now.

23. I'm getting out today, thank fuck.

24. Well, you guys are gonna get to know Ricky, I think.

25. And, uh, because I know you guys

26. want to follow him around, as well, which is cool.

27. I tell you one thing, tonight I am getting drunk at julian's.

28. And it's gonna be awesome.

29. If you guys want to come tape it, that's fine,

30. but we are gonna get really drunk.

31. It's gonna be wicked.

32. Hopefully there'll be a bit of dope around, too.

33. I've been, like, kind of like a teacher to him, I guess.

34. And I'm sick of teaching him.

35. I'm gonna get out of prison.

36. I'm gonna move back to the trailer park.

37. I'm gonna live a good, clean life.

38. I've matured now.

39. Things are gonna be totally different.

40. I do blame Ricky. Of course I do.

41. Like, everybody knows that he's the reason

42. why I went to jail in the first place.

43. You know, Ricky doesn't think.

44. So, you know, I'm not gonna hang out with him anymore.

45. I'm just gonna look out for number one, which is me.

46. No more Ricky.

47. Julian can frig off if that's what he's telling you

48. 'cause it's not my fault.

49. It's julian's fault we went to jail.

50. He's the one force-feeding me drugs

51. and every other goddamn thing.

52. It's not my fault.

53. So, you know, if that's what he says, that's fine.

54. It doesn't matter anyway, because the counselors told me

55. it's society's fault, not my fault.

56. And if julian's gonna be like that, then fine.

57. I'm gonna blame it on him,

58. 'cause it's his fault he went to jail three times.

59. I don't need Julian anymore.

60. Right on, man. I thought you left.

61. No, no, no, Ricky, get your own cab.

62. What are you talking about?

63. You're getting your own cab. You're not sharing my cab.

64. Get out of here.

65. We're just going back to the trailer park!

66. You got any money?

67. - No, that's why I need a ride. - Well, get your own cab.

68. That's the way you want to treat me, is it, on-camera? On TV?

69. Here's your bag.

70. Don't throw my shit.

71. Could you guys turn that off?

72. If you've ever been in jail before,

73. there's nothing better than getting out of jail

74. and coming home.

75. Gee, she's gotten bigger.

76. Ricky and Julian?

77. Well, for the most part, they're responsible

78. for ruining this trailer park.

79. Used to be peaceful and quiet here.

80. You know, what gets me most is,

81. all the young kids look up to them.

82. I mean, I got kids flying around here throwing bottles at people,

83. growing dope, squealing tires,

84. jumping motorcycles over trailers.

85. The list goes on.

86. And I've been park supervisor here for going on 16 years.

87. I've seen it all, but those two,

88. particularly Ricky, they're the worst.

89. Give me your smokes, Gordon. Give me your friggin' smokes.

90. You owe me 15 bucks, man!

91. Come on, I know you've got some smokes here somewhere.

92. Okay, Ricky, let him up!

93. - Ricky, off! - Come on.

94. Get off him, man! Let go of his foot.

95. - Give me your smokes, man! - Let him go, Ricky!

96. Get out of here. Ricky!

97. - Frig off, Randy! - Randy, back off.

98. - You frig off! - Back off! Stay clear!

99. What was it like in jail, hey, buddy?

100. Where's Julian, Ricky?

101. Where are you staying, Rick?

102. At the fuck-off hotel, lahey.

103. Have some respect here. Mr. lahey's the park supervisor.

104. What are you, his new assistant?

105. Yes, I am!

106. Well, that's pretty fucked up!

107. - This is ricky's girl. - I missed you.

108. I missed you, too.

109. Is Ricky out of jail, too?

110. Yeah.

111. Are you gonna come and visit my mommy?

112. Uh, I don't know. Maybe.

113. You're out of jail. You've got no place to live?

114. I got plenty of places to live.

115. I could stay at any one of these trailers

116. 'cause people here like me, not like you dicks, all right?

117. Things have changed, Rick.

118. Things have changed, have they?

119. Yeah, you're gonna have to keep your nose clean, Ricky.

120. Smokes — let's go. Give me some smokes.

121. I've only got two left. I'm not giving you any.

122. You're a fucking dick.

123. And, lahey, you can go fuck yourself, okay?

124. Stay out of my business.

125. What a freaking jerk, man.

126. Ricky's back.

127. Nice. This is where I live.

128. You know, leave this place for 18 months

129. and let Cory and Trevor stay here, and look what they do.

130. When Julian gets back, it's gonna be so cool.

131. The whole crew's gonna hang out again.

132. We're gonna rock the trailer park like we used to,

133. so we're gonna clean the place up.

134. It's a little bit — it's a little messy now and everything,

135. but we've got lots of time to clean it up.

136. We'll have it looking as good as it was when he left.

137. What the hell happened to my trailer, boys?

138. Okay, chill. There's this guy named Cyrus.

139. He just moved in here.

140. There's nothing we could do about it.

141. He has a gun and he's nuts.

142. Yeah, I moved into his trailer.

143. Nice little spot.

144. The way I see it, this fucking Julian guy,

145. he lost his privileges when he went off to con college.

146. You see, I'm the guy that owns the trailer now.

147. I'm running the trailer park.

148. And if that big, tough, fucking guy comes running around here

149. throwing his little bit of weight around,

150. well, then fuck off!

151. We'll help you find a new place to live, Julian.

152. This is my place, you idiot!

153. I'm disappointed in you guys.

154. Gone for 18 months — you knew I was gonna be home today.

155. Shit happens. This time it's not our fault.

156. Shut up!

157. You guys let me down.

158. Yeah, man, but Cyrus, like,

159. he killed a kid when he was in reform school and shit.

160. And he was, like — got even harder when he was there,

161. and he stole cars, and he has a 9 millimeter.

162. And lahey's afraid to do anything

163. 'cause he's worried about getting knocked out by him, too.

164. It's like he's the new park king or something, man.

165. Shit changes, man.

166. - He's not even from the park. - Yeah, man.

167. He's fronting to be from the park,

168. 'cause he thinks it's cool to live in a trailer park.

169. So what are you gonna do?

170. I don't know.

171. But I know what you guys are gonna do.

172. You're gonna start cleaning up this mess.

173. Now!

174. I don't think we got any cleaners.

175. Clean it up!

176. What are you guys taping in here?

177. You have to have permission.

178. A friend of mine's doing a documentary.

179. Don't worry about it.

180. - All right. - What?

181. Look, I need some stuff, and I could Rob you

182. or you could just give it to me —

183. it's up to yourself, so...

184. - You're Ricky, right? - Yeah, man.

185. You can have whatever you want. I don't care.

186. Oh, right on. Give me four packs of smokes.

187. And I'll take these flowers here.

188. Smokes! Grab my smokes there.

189. Uh, I was in — I was here first, there, bud.

190. What's that camera doing here?

191. None of your fucking business, actually.

192. Obviously you don't know who the fuck I am.

193. - Obviously you don't know — - the name is Cyrus. Cyrus.

194. And I don't give a fuck who you are.

195. Better chill out there, heavy metal dick.

196. Yeah? Well, you go back

197. to the bowling alley you came from, helmet head.

198. You're fucking lucky I'm on probation!

199. - Is that right? - Yeah.

200. See ya!

201. That's it. Bye-bye!

202. That'll be — wait, Cyrus, you didn't pay.

203. Fuck off!

204. Yeah! Yeah!

205. I'm j-roc, you know what I'm saying?

206. "J" to the r-o-c up in this.

207. - This here's my boy "t," Tyrone. - What's up, now?

208. - This here's Mr. Green. - What's up?

209. And that's hydro in the back.

210. Double cheese, no bacon.

211. For real, for real.

212. A'ight. A'ight. A'ight. Peace.

213. Hey, what's up?

214. - What's up, man? - Hey, man.

215. How are you doing, Tyrone?

216. - Good to see you, man. - Good to see you, man.

217. Welcome back.

218. What's going on, man?

219. Not much, you know what I'm saying.

220. What's going on, man?

221. Doing all right. It's all good.

222. So how are things going?

223. What's wrong?

224. Me and "t" got some bad news, "g."

225. Yo, Cyrus, man.

226. He all up in this park controlling all the liquor,

227. selling all the dope, you know what I'm saying?

228. Got a gun, running around acting hard with everybody.

229. You're not the king of the park anymore.

230. Boys, listen up, all right?

231. I'm out of jail now.

232. This is my trailer. This is my home.

233. I'm not worried about Cyrus, all right?

234. Don't worry about it.

235. - Come on! - A'ight.

236. So what's going on?

237. We doin' all right.

238. We be dope when the new n.W.A. Come out,

239. you know what I'm saying?

240. I haven't seen Lucy and Trinity since trinity's 7th birthday.

241. No, it was her 8th birthday.

242. No, no, it was her 7th birthday, I think.

243. But anyway, I was in jail for her 7th or 8th birthday,

244. and, you know, they never really got a chance

245. to come visit me in jail.

246. A year and a half is quite a long time to go

247. without seeing your daughter

248. or the woman you love, for that matter, I guess.

249. Right on, boys! Bubbles!

250. How are you doing, buddy?

251. - It's Julian. - Good to see you, man.

252. That's my best friend Julian.

253. What's up?

254. What are you doing? Home from jail?

255. Yeah, got out today.

256. Who's this guy? What am I on the TV for?

257. I'm just doing a little documentary thing, you know.

258. How are you doing?

259. So what's going on, anyway?

260. Well, I don't know if you were in there yet,

261. but some dickhead moved into your trailer.

262. I tried to stop him, but I couldn't.

263. Yeah, Cyrus.

264. He keeps sticking a fucking gun in my face.

265. See this? All right?

266. Old man gave me that when I was in grade 7.

267. Seen a lot of action.

268. 9 millimeter, safety always off.

269. Told me he was proud of me once.

270. Fucking prick.

271. Cory and Trevor let him move right in.

272. Yeah?

273. You can move in here with me if you want.

274. No, that's all right. That's, you know —

275. I'm gonna take care of Cyrus, but, you know —

276. I think you should.

277. What do you think I should do?

278. Well, I'll tell you right now.

279. I talked to him already a couple of times,

280. and he's fucking scared of you.

281. He's waiting, wondering when you're coming home.

282. - Yeah? - Yep.

283. So all I've got to do is tell him you're here,

284. and I bet you he fucking bolts.

285. I don't know if it's gonna be that easy,

286. but, you know, I just got to watch it, man.

287. I'm on probation, and, you know, I'm not going back to jail.

288. You won't have to worry about that.

289. Yeah?

290. Everybody in the fucking park hates him.

291. Yeah?

292. Lahey, everybody. Nobody fucking likes him.

293. He fucks everyone over.

294. All right.

295. - Cocksucker. - Well, maybe...

296. You know, if you could get word around the park

297. and, you know, tell everyone I'm throwing him out tonight.

298. - Yeah, I can do that. - Yeah?

299. - Don't you worry about that. - All right.

300. I'll go around door to fucking door if I have to.

301. Enough of that stuff, man. It's just good to see you.

302. I hear you're Ricky, julian's little jail buddy.

303. What are you filming,

304. more episodes of "happy days" there, fonzie?

305. Listen, just give me your fucking smokes.

306. Buddy, I just got out of jail, all right?

307. I don't want any trouble. Put the gun away.

308. I mean, you're on-camera with a fucking gun.

309. I don't give a fuck about the camera crew, okay?

310. Just give me your fucking smokes

311. or I'll put a bullet right through your goddamn rib cage.

312. For fuck's sakes!

313. I've got four packs of smokes, all right?

314. You can have two of them, all right?

315. No, fucking thanks.

316. If you're gonna shoot me over two packs of smokes,

317. then go ahead — shoot me.

318. It's your lucky fucking day, then, isn't it, jail boy?

319. You tell your friend Julian

320. to get the fuck out of the trailer park,

321. or he'll have Cyrus and you know what to deal with.

322. Fuck off somewhere. I've got work to do.

323. I don't even hang around with Julian anymore.

324. What the fuck do you think you're doing?

325. - What's this? - I've come to talk to Lucy.

326. Don't worry about it. It's something julian's doing.

327. What that julian's doing?

328. Sara, it doesn't matter. Where's Lucy?

329. - Lucy's not here. - I know she's here.

330. She went to the park or something. She's not here.

331. She just snuck out the back door?

332. She didn't sneak.

333. She walked out the front door with her daughter

334. - to go to the park. - I'm not an idiot.

335. - Sara, who's at the door? - Nobody's at the door.

336. - Lucy, it's Ricky. - That's not Lucy.

337. Can I talk to you for a minute, please?

338. I don't want you to come in,

339. especially not with all these people.

340. - Come on in, guys. - I don't want you to come in.

341. - Don't shove me, Sara. - You can't just come back here

342. - after 18 months... - Don't shove me.

343. and expect to just walk back in the house

344. like nothing happened, okay?

345. What are you, her fucking bodyguard?

346. I'm not her bodyguard. I'm her roommate.

347. I'm living here, helping pay the bills

348. since your ass was in jail.

349. Well, now I'm back and I'm gonna be paying the bills around here.

350. That's what you think!

351. Holy shit, you look good.

352. I just thought it would be nice to spend some time together.

353. I've been in jail for 18 months.

354. Well, yeah, okay.

355. I'm only gonna be here to sleep anyway, so don't worry about it.

356. You're kidding.

357. You are kidding, right?

358. What do you mean?

359. Uh, listen.

360. Uh, can — keep that closed.

361. Um, Trinity and I cannot have you

362. coming in and out of our lives like this.

363. So just go stay with ray.

364. This is my dad's place.

365. Sounds like he's drunk again, so...

366. I learned from my dad the best thing to do when he's drunk

367. is to stay away.

368. I'd rather sleep in the playground tonight.

369. As much as I want to get drunk, I'm not going in there.

370. There could be women. God knows what's going on, so...

371. Have to find somewhere else to go, boys.

372. 10-8.

373. You got a 10-8 there?

374. 10-8? You got a 10-2?

375. Randy here. All systems clear.

376. 10-4, Randy.

377. You know, I ordinarily don't like to do this,

378. but I got to call the cops.

379. There's a potential shootout

380. gonna be happening in the trailer park tonight,

381. and — and I'm gonna call in the heavies.

382. You know, that's really unfair, Mr. lahey.

383. Julian's on probation.

384. He could go back to jail for a really long time.

385. Yeah, julian's on probation.

386. Cyrus isn't. Cyrus will kill me.

387. You got any better ideas?

388. If not, put your shirt on and shut up.

389. You know, there's a lot of different personalities

390. here in this trailer park, and every single person tries

391. to respect each other, except for Cyrus.

392. He has no respect for anyone but himself.

393. And I don't really want to call the police in here,

394. and convinced Mr. lahey not to,

395. because I feel that in this community,

396. we should be able to work things out ourselves.

397. Cyrus ain't from the park, you know what I mean?

398. 'Round here, it's all for all and one for one.

399. - That's right. - Yeah, man.

400. Motherfuckers who ain't from the park,

401. they don't understand the way shit goes down,

402. like the "j" to the r-o-c and like Tyrone does, my man here.

403. - You know what I'm saying. - Yeah.

404. When you're from the park, it's all for one motherfucker

405. and one motherfucker for all mo'fuckers everywhere,

406. you know what I'm saying?

407. But if you come from outside the park, you better watch out,

408. 'cause you got a whole bunch of park hustlers on your jock.

409. That stick together, too. It's like a family.

410. Well, your jock don't stick together,

411. you know what I'm saying, but the people stick together.

412. That's the shit I'm talking about.

413. Every day Mr. lahey and I clean up this playground.

414. Randy, we have company.

415. Oh, shit, it's Cyrus.

416. What's this — don't you move!

417. What's this I hear about you calling the cops, huh?

418. What's this I hear about you calling the cops?

419. Now, listen, there's people who live around here.

420. Just take it easy, will you, Cyrus?

421. I'll fucking make the decisions around here.

422. You got that, old man?

423. Just back off, Cyrus.

424. Take your hands off me, sasquatch!

425. Now, listen — you listen to me, old man.

426. You call the cops, and I'll make an example of you.

427. You understand me?

428. What's that supposed to mean, Cyrus?

429. Bang! Do I got to spell it for you?

430. Now say you're sorry.

431. I'm sorry.

432. Kiss my hand.

433. I'm not kissing your hand.

434. Kiss my hand.

435. Do it.

436. All right, fuck off. I've got work to do.

437. Remember what I said.

438. Oh, my god.

439. Me and Julian could definitely take care of the Cyrus thing.

440. It's just that, number one, we're on probation,

441. which is no big deal, but, you know,

442. I don't really want to go back to jail.

443. And number two or three or whatever number we're on,

444. I'm not going back to jail for Julian

445. because I don't even hang around with him anymore.

446. We've got to make a few things clear.

447. Sure.

448. The two of us can't live in this trailer park together,

449. now, can we?

450. Right, so I guess someone's got to move.

451. That's what I'm talking about.

452. Hey, that's my shit!

453. Hey, that's my shit!

454. That's my shit!

455. Obviously you didn't hear me

456. when I said clear out your own shit.

457. Now, I want a new TV.

458. I want a vcr, and I want my porn tapes replaced

459. because those were the crème de la crème.

460. I want you out of this park.

461. I'm not leaving.

462. I provide a service for these good people.

463. They're like my family.

464. Tell him, people. Go on.

465. A show of hands, those who need his dope.

466. I'd like to take this opportunity

467. to let everybody know that me and tyrone's open for business.

468. We can service all your dope needs.

469. Good prices, too, you know what I'm saying?

470. See, we don't need you here.

471. Well, I'm not leaving.

472. And I'm not afraid to use this gun.

473. I think you're afraid.

474. Fuck afraid!

475. You think I won't pull the trigger?

476. My brain tells my finger to pull the trigger, and boom!

477. Happens just like that.

478. Well, let me talk to your brain, then.

479. Hey, cyrus's brain, pull the trigger!

480. Oh, funny guy.

481. Pull the trigger! Do it!

482. Do it!

483. You're not gonna do it, man.

484. Cyrus, you fucking dick!

485. Shut up!

486. Why don't you do yourself a favor?

487. You're not from the park, man. You don't belong here.

488. This is my family.

489. Why don't you get out of here?

490. I don't need this shit anyway.

491. Chump change.

492. Thanks for getting rid of Cyrus for us, Julian.

493. Now if you could just help straighten Ricky out,

494. we'd be all set.

495. All right, everybody, party's over.

496. Let's go home.

497. Welcome back, Julian.

498. Fuck off, Mr. lahey!

499. Come on, Randy. Let's go write this up.

500. All in all, I think we had a pretty good day today, guys.

501. It's time to have a few drinks, sit down, turn that thing off.

502. Man, I'm sorry to interrupt your TV show.

503. I've got nowhere to go, Julian.

504. Me and Lucy are all done, and my dad's drunk.

505. I was just wondering if I could maybe sleep in your car

506. or something, man.

507. I got nowhere to go.

508. Thanks, Julian.

509. I can't believe he's still out there.

510. For the past 18 months,

511. I promised myself to stay away from him.

512. I don't know. He's a good guy.

513. Take it easy, Julian. I'm leaving.

514. - Relax, Ricky, relax. - I just got nowhere to go.

515. Here, I got you some hot dogs.

516. I got you some vodka.

517. I appreciate this, Julian,

518. but, I mean, I don't need your charity.

519. Ricky, it's okay, all right?

520. Here, you can sleep in the car for two days.

521. Thanks, buddy. I appreciate that.

522. I want you out of that car

523. in two days, though, Ricky, all right?

524. No more than two weeks. I promise, all right?