1. - YOU UP?Copy !req
2. - AW!Copy !req
3. IS THAT HOW
THE KITE RUNNER ENDED?Copy !req
4. WELCOME TO TOSH.0.Copy !req
5. WE HAVE A 30-MINUTE SHOW
FOR YOU TONIGHT.Copy !req
6. THE PROM GIRL
GETS A WEB REDEMPTION,Copy !req
7. I SHOW THIS GUY
WHERE HE WENT WRONG,Copy !req
8. AND I MAKE A SELECTION
FOR MY BOOK CLUB.Copy !req
9. LET'S GET STARTED.Copy !req
10. I WANT TO KNOW WHO BUILT
THAT STORM DRAIN.Copy !req
11. THAT IS JUST POOR
CITY PLANNING.Copy !req
12. UGH! MOTHER NATURE
IS A.Copy !req
13. HERE'S AN IDEA.Copy !req
14. NEXT TIME YOUR PLASTIC KITE
GETS SNAGGED ON AN AIRPLANE,Copy !req
15. LET GO.Copy !req
16. IT'S BEEN THAT WAYCopy !req
17. EVER SINCE THEY BANNED STEROIDS
FROM PRO KITING.Copy !req
18. I BLAME CHINA.Copy !req
19. THEY INVENTED THE KITE.Copy !req
20. EVER WONDER WHY
YOUR BOTTLED WATERCopy !req
21. TASTES LIKE THE INSIDE
OF SOME GUY'S STOMACH?Copy !req
22. NICOLE RICHEY USED TO DO
THE SAME THING WITH FOOD.Copy !req
23. ATTACH A BRITA TO HIS MOUTH
AND SEND HIM TO HAITI PRONTO.Copy !req
24. THAT IS THE CLEANEST WATER
IN THE REGION,Copy !req
25. AND I SHOULD KNOW.Copy !req
26. ARE YOU BACKWASHING THIS?Copy !req
27. YOU SHOULD GET A JOB
AT THE BELLAGIO.Copy !req
28. YOU REALLY NEED TO SEE
THAT WHOLE VIDEO.Copy !req
29. GO TO OUR WEBSITE.Copy !req
30. UH, NOT NOW.
LATER.Copy !req
31. WATCH THE SHOW,
THEN GO TO OUR WEBSITE.Copy !req
32. WAIT, WAIT. NO, NO, WAIT TILL
THE DAILY SHOW'S OVER.Copy !req
33. BUT THEN WHAT ABOUT
COLBERT?Copy !req
34. JUST WATCH COMEDY CENTRAL
FOREVER.Copy !req
35. OH, MOVE OVER, JAY LENO.Copy !req
36. THERE'S A NEW TEAM PLAYER
IN TOWN.Copy !req
37. ALL RIGHT, WHAT'S NEXT?Copy !req
38. IS THAT CASKET
MADE OF CHEESE?Copy !req
39. - HELP!Copy !req
40. GOOD NEWS AND BAD NEWS,
OLD LADY.Copy !req
41. BAD NEWS,
YOUR HUSBAND IS STILL DEAD.Copy !req
42. GOOD NEWS, THEY'RE GONNA
BURY YOUR SON FOR FREE.Copy !req
43. SHE'LL PROBABLY LAUGH
ABOUT THAT LATER.Copy !req
44. DID YOU KNOW THE MOVIE UP
WAS BASED ON A TRUE STORY?Copy !req
45. DON'T JUDGE. AT LEAST YOU CAN'T
GET AIDS THAT WAY.Copy !req
46. THANKS, PEEPAW.Copy !req
47. GUESS THAT'S WHY EVERYONE
CALLS YOU NEEDLE.Copy !req
48. THAT IS A SOLID B CUP.Copy !req
49. HERE'S THE MOST LOPSIDED
SNOWBALL FIGHT OF ALL TIME.Copy !req
50. - READY?Copy !req
51. - READY? YEAH.Copy !req
52. - HE IS A HERO.Copy !req
53. HE WAS TRYING TO SAVE
A VILLAGE.Copy !req
54. THAT'S WHY WE ARE HAVING
SO MUCH TROUBLE IN AFGHANISTAN.Copy !req
55. THEY HAVE
A STRATEGIC ADVANTAGE.Copy !req
56. THEY'RE HIGHER UP
ON THE MOUNTAINS.Copy !req
57. THEY CAN JUST ROLL
GIANT SNOWBALLS AT US.Copy !req
58. THAT'S AN AWFULLY BIG LEAP
I JUST MADE THERE.Copy !req
59. SOUTHWEST AIRLINES NEEDS TO
UP THEIR TICKET PRICESCopy !req
60. SO PEOPLE LIKE THIS
GO BACK TO TAKING THE BUS.Copy !req
61. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?Copy !req
62. AND I CAN'T BRING OVER
THREE OUNCES OF "UNOBTAINIUM"?Copy !req
63. LET'S PUT 20 SECONDS
ON THE CLOCKCopy !req
64. AND SEE HOW MANY FUNNY COMMENTS
WE CAN MAKE.Copy !req
65. I BET SHE'S GOT A BOMB
IN HER UNDERWEAR TOO.Copy !req
66. GET THESE MOTHER
CRAZY LADIESCopy !req
67. OFF MY
MOTHERPLANE!Copy !req
68. I LOVE THE NEXT SCENECopy !req
69. WHERE SHE STARTS SPEAKING JIVE
TO THE STEWARDESS.Copy !req
70. TOO OLD? ALL RIGHT.Copy !req
71. ON SECOND THOUGHT,Copy !req
72. LET'S WEDGE
KEVIN SMITH'S FAT ASSCopy !req
73. BACK IN THAT SEAT.Copy !req
74. THE EMPTY SEAT IS FOR
HER FRIEND NOBODY CAN SEE,Copy !req
75. AND MILTON WANTS
MORE SNACKS.Copy !req
76. SOMEONE'S GOT
THE BITTER BEER FACE.Copy !req
77. DOES BOSE MAKE A
LUNATIC-CANCELING HEADPHONE?Copy !req
78. THEY DO. IT'S A GENERATION 4,
AND IT COSTS $800.Copy !req
79. NO ONE ON SOUTHWEST
CAN AFFORD THAT.Copy !req
80. WHAT'S NEXT?Copy !req
81. AH, A FRIENDLY GAME
OF DARTS.Copy !req
82. - RIGHT THERE.
- MOVE IT UP HIGHER.Copy !req
83. - IT'S OKAY. BAR DARTS
ARE COMPLETELY STERILE.Copy !req
84. LET'S TAKE ANOTHER LOOK AT THIS
BULL'S-EYE THROW BY THROWCopy !req
85. IN THIS WEEK'S BREAKDOWN.Copy !req
86. NOTICE IT STARTS OUTCopy !req
87. LIKE EVERY OTHER VIDEO
WE GET FROM ENGLAND—Copy !req
88. WITH A DRUNK IN A PUB.Copy !req
89. AND AFTER A FEW PINTS
OF GUINNESS,Copy !req
90. OLIVER'S MATES CONVINCE HIM
TO GO TOPLESS.Copy !req
91. EITHER HE LOST A BETCopy !req
92. OR THE ENGLISH VERSION
OF THE BIGGEST LOSERCopy !req
93. IS WAY MORE INTENSE
THAN OURS.Copy !req
94. I'VE SEEN THAT BUTT CRACK
SMILING AT ME BEFORE.Copy !req
95. I BELIEVE IT WAS ON THE COVER
OF PEAR SHAPE MONTHLY.Copy !req
96. YOU WOULD THINK THAT'D BE
A QUARTERLY MAGAZINE.Copy !req
97. OH, WHAT A SHOT.Copy !req
98. CAN A DART TO THE SPINE
DO DAMAGE?Copy !req
99. APPARENTLY NOT WHEN YOUR
MUFFIN TOP IS MADE OF KEVLAR.Copy !req
100. GOOD THING HE'S BEEN EATING
NOTHING BUT FISH AND CHIPSCopy !req
101. FOR THE LAST 25 YEARS.Copy !req
102. THEY'D HAVE TO THROW
A JAVELINCopy !req
103. TO PIERCE ANYTHING VITAL.Copy !req
104. OLIVER DOESN'T
FEEL A THING.Copy !req
105. I'VE SEEN GREAT WHITES
FLINCH MORECopy !req
106. WHEN THEY GET TAGGED.Copy !req
107. NO BLOOD EITHER.Copy !req
108. THIS GUY'S NOT AN ALBINO
AFTER ALL.Copy !req
109. HE'S A VAMPIRE.
KILL HIM!Copy !req
110. RIGHT IN THE TEMPLE.Copy !req
111. TWO MORE AND YOU CAN
CLOSE OUT THAT ZONE.Copy !req
112. WHO'S THROWING THOSE DARTS,
RICK VAUGHN?Copy !req
113. IS THAT YOU, WILD THING?Copy !req
114. PUT YOUR DAMN GLASSES ON.Copy !req
115. THAT'S WHY BARS
ARE SWITCHINGCopy !req
116. TO THOSE CRAPPY
SOFT-TIPPED DARTSCopy !req
117. THAT SNAP OFF
AFTER EVERY THROW.Copy !req
118. HARD TO BELIEVE ENGLAND
USED TO RULE THE WORLD.Copy !req
119. - TOMORROW,
OLIVER WILL WAKE UPCopy !req
120. TO FIND HE CAN'T HOLD
A FORKCopy !req
121. OR MOVE THE LEFT SIDE
OF HIS FACE.Copy !req
122. BUT FOR NOW, HE'S WALKING IT OFF
LIKE A CHAMP.Copy !req
123. LUCKY FOR US, HIS BUDDIES
ARE MASTERS AT PEER PRESSURE.Copy !req
124. AND FOR THAT,
WE THANK YOU.Copy !req
125. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH THE
PROM GIRL'S WEB REDEMPTION.Copy !req
126. BUT FIRST, IT'S OUR
PEDOPHILE OF THE WEEK.Copy !req
127. THE TOILET BRUSH IS THE BEST
BACK SCRATCHER EVER.Copy !req
128. - COME BACK AROUND.Copy !req
129. - DO YOU STILL WEAR PINK?
- YEAH.Copy !req
130. - DEB.Copy !req
131. - AW, ISN'T IT BAD LUCKCopy !req
132. IF YOUR DATE SEES YOUR
BEFORE THE PROM?Copy !req
133. EITHER WAY, THAT IS NOT HOW SHE
THOUGHT SHE'D BREAK HER HYMEN.Copy !req
134. BECAUSE WHEN YOU'RE
A GIRL IN HIGH SCHOOL,Copy !req
135. PROM IS THE MOST IMPORTANT
NIGHT OF YOUR LIFE.Copy !req
136. GUYS STRESS OUT ABOUT CHOOSING
THE PERFECT DATE.Copy !req
137. REMEMBER, SHE DOESN'T HAVE TO BE
THE HOTTEST GIRL IN SCHOOL.Copy !req
138. DON'T BE AFRAID TO DIP
INTO THE MINORS.Copy !req
139. IF ANYONE'S GONNA BE COOL
ABOUT HAVING SEX,Copy !req
140. IT'S GONNA BE
SOME SOPHOMORE.Copy !req
141. THOSE CHICKS ARE SLUTS.Copy !req
142. AW.Copy !req
143. SORRY, SHELLY.Copy !req
144. I TOOK A SOPHOMORE, AND SHE
TOTALLY TICKLED MY PICKLE.Copy !req
145. ARE MY TIPS HIGHLIGHTED?Copy !req
146. IS THAT A PURPLE SUIT?
YES.Copy !req
147. WHY? BECAUSE BERNIE MACK WAS
MY FAVORITE KING OF COMEDY.Copy !req
148. OH!
WHY COULDN'T D.L. HAVE DIED?Copy !req
149. NOTICE, MY SKIN
WAS PERFECT IN HIGH SCHOOL.Copy !req
150. MOST OF YOU LOOK LIKE YOU SHOULD
BE IN A PROACTIV COMMERCIAL.Copy !req
151. AND MAKE SURE YOU SPRING
FOR A LIMO.Copy !req
152. LIMOS COST 120 BUCKS
A NIGHT.Copy !req
153. BETWEEN 12 COUPLES,
THAT'S LIKE $3.Copy !req
154. THEN IT'S OFF
TO THE MACARONI GRILL,Copy !req
155. WHERE YOU HAVE TO HELP SHOVE
A HALF-DOZEN FOUR-TOPS TOGETHERCopy !req
156. SO YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS CAN
ENJOY FRESH BRICK-OVEN PIZZACopy !req
157. BEFORE HEADING
TO THE BIG DANCE.Copy !req
158. THE ACTUAL PROM IS TERRIBLE.Copy !req
159. NO WEREWOLF IN A TUXEDO
IS GONNA LEAD YOUCopy !req
160. IN A CHOREOGRAPHED
DANCE NUMBER.Copy !req
161. AND NOBODY'S GONNA
DUMP PIG'S BLOODCopy !req
162. ALL OVER
THE CLASS WEIRDO.Copy !req
163. AT BEST,Copy !req
164. SOME PREGNANT GIRL'S GONNA HAVE
A BABY IN THE BATHROOM.Copy !req
165. I KNOW,
IT'S SUCH A DOWNER.Copy !req
166. AND DECORATING THE GYM
CAN'T MASK THE FACTCopy !req
167. THAT IT SMELLS LIKE A MIX
OF CORSAGE AND BALLS.Copy !req
168. AT LEAST PROM TEACHES YOU
AN IMPORTANT LIFE LESSON,Copy !req
169. AND THAT'S GIRLS WILL ONLY
CONSIDER DOING ITCopy !req
170. IF THEY'VE HAD TONS
OF WINE COOLERSCopy !req
171. AND YOU'VE SPENT
A LOT OF MONEY.Copy !req
172. BUT YOU DEAL WITH IT,Copy !req
173. BECAUSE NOBODY WANTS TO
SHOW UP AT COLLEGECopy !req
174. WITH THEIR BIG V CARD.Copy !req
175. YOUR BEST MEMORIES
WON'T BE ABOUT THE DANCECopy !req
176. OR THE DINNER.Copy !req
177. THEY'LL BE WHEN YOU WAKE UP
AT THE RED ROOF INNCopy !req
178. WITH SORE LADY PARTS.Copy !req
179. YOU ARE NOW A WOMAN.Copy !req
180. BUT JILL WAS CHEATED
OUT OF THAT EXPERIENCECopy !req
181. BY A STAIRCASE.Copy !req
182. THAT'S WHY I PUT ON
MY CUMMERBUND,Copy !req
183. BOUGHT SOME RUBBERS,
AND WORKED UP THE COURAGECopy !req
184. TO ASK HER TO COME
TO HOLLYWOODCopy !req
185. FOR THE MOST ROMANTIC
NIGHT OF HER LIFECopy !req
186. IN THIS WEEK'S
WEB REDEMPTION.Copy !req
187. HI, JILL.
- HI, DANIEL.Copy !req
188. - WELCOME TO THE TOP
OF THE WORLD.Copy !req
189. OH! I'M GLAD YOU DIDN'T
WEAR YOUR DRESS.Copy !req
190. - YEAH.Copy !req
191. - CAN YOU IMAGINE IF YOU FELL
DOWN THESE STAIRS?Copy !req
192. - THAT WOULD BE AWFUL.Copy !req
193. - ALL RIGHT, LET'S GET
READY FOR PROM.Copy !req
194. IT IS A BIG NIGHT.Copy !req
195. NICOLE KIDMAN IS STILL LOOKING
ASEXUAL AS ALWAYS.Copy !req
196. GLAD YOU'RE NOT WEARING
THIS DRESS.Copy !req
197. OKAY, JILL, TELL ME
WHAT HAPPENED THAT NIGHT.Copy !req
198. - UH, I WAS WALKING
DOWN THE STAIRSCopy !req
199. AND MY BROTHER
WANTED TO FILM IT,Copy !req
200. AND MY HEELS GOT CAUGHT
ON THE CARPETCopy !req
201. AND I JUST SLIPPED.Copy !req
202. - IT DID LOOK
LIKE YOUR FACE HIT.Copy !req
203. - IT DIDN'T.
- IT DIDN'T.Copy !req
204. - NO, I THINK MY ARM
BROKE MY FALL.Copy !req
205. - GOOD.Copy !req
206. I'LL BE HONEST,
THE GUY IN THE HATCopy !req
207. KIND OF BOTHERED ME.Copy !req
208. - WHAT'S UP WITH THAT?Copy !req
209. - I DON'T KNOW.Copy !req
210. WE WANTED TO BE
AS RIDICULOUS AS POSSIBLE,Copy !req
211. AND HE WORE A TOP HATCopy !req
212. AND I WORE THE BIGGEST DRESS
I COULD FIND.Copy !req
213. - IT CERTAINLY WAS HUGE.
- YEAH.Copy !req
214. - THERE WAS A LOT
GOING ON THERE.Copy !req
215. - YEAH, THERE WAS.Copy !req
216. - WELL, HOW FAST BEFORE
PEOPLE AT SCHOOLCopy !req
217. STARTED SEEING THAT VIDEO?Copy !req
218. - A COUPLE WEEKS.Copy !req
219. - DID YOU READ THE COMMENTS
PEOPLE POSTED?Copy !req
220. - UH, SOME OF THEM.Copy !req
221. - DID ANYBODY WRITE
ANYTHING RIDICULOUS?Copy !req
222. - UM, A LOT OF PEOPLE SAID,
LIKE,Copy !req
223. "OH, SHE DIED AFTER."Copy !req
224. - THAT'S FINE.Copy !req
225. - YOU'RE NOT DEAD.
- NO.Copy !req
226. - YOU'RE NOT DEAD.Copy !req
227. ARE YOU CLUMSY?
- YES, VERY CLUMSY.Copy !req
228. - REALLY?
- YES.Copy !req
229. - DO YOU GET HURT A LOT?Copy !req
230. - NOT HURT, BUT I DO FALL
AND HIT THINGS A LOT.Copy !req
231. - HAVE YOU EVER BROKEN A BONE?
- NO.Copy !req
232. - I HAVE.
- WHICH ONE?Copy !req
233. - BOTH MY ARMS
AT THE SAME TIME.Copy !req
234. - OH!Copy !req
235. I HAD TO WEAR A CAST UP TO HERE
ON BOTH ARMS IN COLLEGECopy !req
236. AND I STILL RODE MY BIKE
TO CLASS.Copy !req
237. AND PUTTING MY BACKPACK ON
WAS THE HARDEST THING.Copy !req
238. NEXT TO WIPING.Copy !req
239. - HOW WAS THE DANCE
THAT NIGHT?Copy !req
240. - IT WAS A LOT OF FUN.Copy !req
241. I DIDN'T DANCE MUCHCopy !req
242. 'CAUSE I COULDN'T MOVE
IN THE DRESS, BUT—Copy !req
243. - OH, I THOUGHT BECAUSE
YOU HAD A FRACTURED ARM.Copy !req
244. - OH! NO.
- OKAY.Copy !req
245. - I WAS FINE. THE DRESS
HELPED CUSHION THE FALL.Copy !req
246. - WHAT'D YOU GUYS DO
AFTER THE DANCE?Copy !req
247. - WE WENT TO IHOP.Copy !req
248. - THAT IS ROMANTIC.Copy !req
249. DO PEOPLE RECOGNIZE YOU WHEN
THEY SEE YOU ON A STAIRCASE?Copy !req
250. - NO.Copy !req
251. - AND FLEE?Copy !req
252. - NO?
- NO.Copy !req
253. - JILL, YOU LOOK PERFECT.
- THANK YOU.Copy !req
254. - I'M A LITTLE NERVOUS.Copy !req
255. UM, I'VE SET YOU UP
ON A BLIND DATECopy !req
256. WITH A PERSONAL FRIEND
OF MINE.Copy !req
257. I THINK YOU'RE GONNA
HAVE A GREAT TIMECopy !req
258. THIS EVENING WITH HIM.Copy !req
259. I NEED TO GO GET READY.Copy !req
260. THE WORLD WANTS TO KNOW,Copy !req
261. ARE YOU READY TO GIVE IT
ANOTHER SHOT?Copy !req
262. - I'M READY.
- OKAY.Copy !req
263. CASTRO, COME ON.Copy !req
264. WE'LL LEAVE YOU
TO PUT YOUR DRESS ON,Copy !req
265. AND I'LL SEE YOU
IN A MINUTE.Copy !req
266. HONEY, YOUR DATE'S HERE.Copy !req
267. - COMING.Copy !req
268. - OH, MY.Copy !req
269. YOU LOOK LIKE AN ANGEL.
- THANK YOU.Copy !req
270. - NOW HURRY UP.Copy !req
271. JILL, YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL.Copy !req
272. I WANT TO INTRODUCE YOU
TO YOUR BLIND DATE.Copy !req
273. HE IS A CELEBRITY
AMONGST CELEBRITIES.Copy !req
274. HE IS A MOVIE ICON.Copy !req
275. THE HEDGEHOG HIMSELF,
MR. RON JEREMY.Copy !req
276. - HI. HE'S RIGHT. YOU DO
LOOK LOVELY TONIGHT.Copy !req
277. - THANK YOU.Copy !req
278. - HERE YOU GO.
THIS IS FOR YOU.Copy !req
279. - RON, YOU BE A GENTLEMAN
TONIGHT.Copy !req
280. I KNOW YOU WILL.Copy !req
281. YOU GUYS
HAVE A GREAT TIME.Copy !req
282. YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL.Copy !req
283. - THANK YOU.
I'LL HAVE HER BACK AT MIDNIGHT.Copy !req
284. - MAKE IT 1:00.Copy !req
285. OH, WHAT HIGH SCHOOL KIDCopy !req
286. WOULDN'T WANT TO GO TO THE PROM
WITH A PORN STAR?Copy !req
287. THEY HAD A GREAT TIME.Copy !req
288. I HEARD LATER THAT NIGHT,
SOME KNUCKLEHEADCopy !req
289. PULLED THE FIRE ALARM
BACK AT THEIR HOTEL.Copy !req
290. - WHOA!Copy !req
291. - SORRY,
I'M TOO FAMOUS TO DIE.Copy !req
292. - YOU'LL BE HAPPY TO KNOW
THEY'RE STILL GOING STEADY.Copy !req
293. SEE YOU
AFTER THE COMMERCIALS.Copy !req
294. - YEAH, GO FOR IT.Copy !req
295. OH! OH! OH, MY GOD!Copy !req
296. - OH, IT'S BROKE.Copy !req
297. - OH, MY GOD,
ARE YOU OKAY?Copy !req
298. - YEAH, SEE?Copy !req
299. - THAT LOOKS SPRAINED.Copy !req
300. THAT'S A LOT
OF MILK CRATES.Copy !req
301. TURNS OUT DRINKING
TONS OF MILKCopy !req
302. DOESN'T MAKE YOUR BONES
AS STRONG AS YOU THOUGHT.Copy !req
303. DID YOU NOTICE THERE'S
AN ABOVE-GROUND POOLCopy !req
304. AND A TRAMPOLINE?Copy !req
305. SOMEBODY MUST HAVE GONE ON
TO THE SECOND SHOWCASECopy !req
306. ON THE PRICE IS RIGHT.Copy !req
307. HOW DO YOU DIE ON THE FIRST
LEVEL OF SUPER MARIO BROS.?Copy !req
308. JUST GET THE FLAG AND GET
IN THE CASTLE.Copy !req
309. YOU GET IT?Copy !req
310. BECAUSE IT LOOKS LIKE LEVEL 1-1
ON SUPER MARIO BROS.Copy !req
311. I COULD DO THAT LEVEL
IN MY SLEEP.Copy !req
312. - MOTHER!Copy !req
313. NOBODY MAKES THE MUSHROOMS
LIKE MAMA.Copy !req
314. I DON'T KNOW
IF THAT'S THE MUSHROOMCopy !req
315. OR IS THAT THE BIGGEST
TURTLE I'VE EVER SEEN?Copy !req
316. OH!Copy !req
317. IT'SA LOTSA COINS.Copy !req
318. I'LL LEAVE ONE FOR
MY GAY BROTHER LUIGI.Copy !req
319. OH, HO HO HO HO
HO HO HO!Copy !req
320. I'M COMING FOR YOU,
BOWSER.Copy !req
321. I DON'T KISS AND TELL,
BUT PRINCESS PEACHCopy !req
322. HAS GOT A LITTLE MORE
THAN PEACH FUZZCopy !req
323. GOING ON DOWN THERE.Copy !req
324. BE SURE TO GO TO OUR BLOG,
AND WHILE YOU'RE THERE,Copy !req
325. UPLOAD YOUR OWN VIDEOCopy !req
326. FOR A CHANCE TO BE OUR
VIEWER VIDEO OF THE WEEK.Copy !req
327. THIS WEEK'S WINNER
IS GAGFILMS.COM.Copy !req
328. - IF YOU'RE LIKE
A LOT OF PEOPLE,Copy !req
329. YOU PROBABLY STILL HAVE A VCR
AROUND YOUR HOUSE.Copy !req
330. AND IF YOU'RE LIKE ME,
YOU'RE PROBABLY THINKINGCopy !req
331. ABOUT JUST
THROWING IT AWAY.Copy !req
332. BUT WAIT! DON'T THROW AWAY
THAT OLD DINOSAUR.Copy !req
333. HACK IT.Copy !req
334. ALL YOU NEED
IS A SCREWDRIVER,Copy !req
335. SCISSORS,
AND SOME MARSHMALLOWS.Copy !req
336. WHY MARSHMALLOWS?Copy !req
337. YOU'LL SEE
IN JUST A MINUTE.Copy !req
338. REMOVE THE TOP
FROM THE CASINGCopy !req
339. AND GET READY
FOR THE TREASURES INSIDE.Copy !req
340. FIRST, TAKE OUT THIS
POWER-SURGE CASING.Copy !req
341. INSIDE, YOU'LL FIND
24 DOUBLE-A BATTERIES.Copy !req
342. NEXT, WE'LL WANT TO TAKE OUT
THIS RED GPS UNIT,Copy !req
343. WHICH JUST SLIDES OUT.Copy !req
344. THESE ACT LIKE A LOJACK
FOR YOUR VCRCopy !req
345. IN CASE
IT EVER GETS STOLEN,Copy !req
346. AND ONCE REMOVED,
THEY'RE EASILY CONVERTEDCopy !req
347. INTO A HANDHELD
GPS UNIT.Copy !req
348. THEN GO AHEAD AND REMOVE THESE
TWO BLACK COMPONENTS NEARBY.Copy !req
349. THE FIRST IS A CELL PHONE
AND THE NEXT IS AN iPOD TOUCH.Copy !req
350. NEXT, JUST BREAK OFF
THIS CIRCUIT BOARDCopy !req
351. TO FIND TWO MORE iPODS
UNDERNEATH.Copy !req
352. IT'S LIKE AN APPLE STORE
IN YOUR VCR.Copy !req
353. FINALLY, FOR THE FINALE,Copy !req
354. WE WANT TO REMOVE THIS
ENTIRE MIDDLE AREA HERECopy !req
355. TO REVEAL THE BEST SURPRISE
UNDERNEATH.Copy !req
356. THIS IS THE PART
THAT VCR MANUFACTURERSCopy !req
357. DON'T WANT YOU
TO KNOW ABOUT.Copy !req
358. CAREFULLY REMOVE
THE INSIDES, BUT WATCH OUT,Copy !req
359. BECAUSE A SMALL MONSTER
GUARDS THE FINAL TREASURE.Copy !req
360. THIS IS WHERE YOUR MARSHMALLOWS
COME IN.Copy !req
361. - VCR MONSTERS
LOVE MARSHMALLOWS.Copy !req
362. NEXT, DIG IN AND PULL OUT
THE GREATEST SURPRISE OF ALL—Copy !req
363. A PORTABLE BLU-RAY PLAYER.Copy !req
364. SO DON'T THROW AWAY
THAT VCR.Copy !req
365. HACK IT TO FIND ALL OF THESE
GREAT THINGS INSIDE.Copy !req
366. JUST MAKE SURE YOU KEEP A LOT
OF MARSHMALLOWS AROUND.Copy !req
367. - AFTER I SAW THAT VIDEO,
I OPENED UP MY OLD TYPEWRITERCopy !req
368. AND FOUND TWO SMART CARSCopy !req
369. AND AN AUTOGRAPHED
CARRIE UNDERWOOD CD.Copy !req
370. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK
WITH MORE LOUNGE LIZARDS.Copy !req
371. - WELCOME BACK.Copy !req
372. I HOPE YOU ALL ARE
ENJOYING YOUR PUDDING.Copy !req
373. I GOT THE RECIPE
FROM THE LATEST SELECTIONCopy !req
374. FROM THE TOSH.0 BOOK CLUB.Copy !req
375. AS YOU WELL KNOW,
EVERY BOOK I HAND-SELECTCopy !req
376. ROCKETS INTO THE TOP ONE MILLION
ON AMAZON.Copy !req
377. AND THIS WEEK'S GEM WAS NOT
AN EASY FIND ON THE INTERNET.Copy !req
378. IT'S NATURAL HARVEST,Copy !req
379. A COLLECTION OF SEMEN-BASED
RECIPES.Copy !req
380. DELICIOUS, RIGHT?Copy !req
381. ACCORDING TO THE BOOK,
"LIKE FINE WINE AND CHEESE,Copy !req
382. THE TASTE OF SEMEN
IS COMPLEX AND DYNAMIC."Copy !req
383. I'D LIKE YOU TO KNOW
THAT OUR INGREDIENTSCopy !req
384. ARE THE FRESHEST
THAT OUR CREW COULD PROVIDE.Copy !req
385. OH, COME ON.
BE MATURE.Copy !req
386. IF YOU ENJOY COOKING
AND EATING FOODCopy !req
387. WITH DUDE NECTAR IN IT,Copy !req
388. GO TO OUR BLOG,
AND WE'LL POST A LINKCopy !req
389. SO YOU CAN BUY A COPY.Copy !req
390. NEXT WEEK,
WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW.Copy !req
391. LATARIAN
GETS A WEB REDEMPTION.Copy !req
392. - IT'S FUN
TO DO BAD THINGS,Copy !req
393. LIKE DRIVE INTO A CAR.Copy !req
394. - WELL, DID YOU KNOW THAT YOU
COULD PERHAPS KILL SOMEBODY?Copy !req
395. - YES, BUT I WANTED TO DO
HOOD RAT STUFF FOR MY FRIEND.Copy !req
396. HERCULES.Copy !req
397. MAKE SURE YOU FOLLOW ME
ON TWITTERCopy !req
398. SO WE CAN LIVE-CHAT
DURING THE SHOWSCopy !req
399. AND CHECK OUT
MY TOUR SCHEDULECopy !req
400. AND KEEP UP
WITH OUR DAILY BLOGCopy !req
401. AT COMEDYCENTRAL.COM/TOSH.0.Copy !req
402. LAST WEEK, APPLE SENT ME
THE NEW iPAD,Copy !req
403. AND I SMASHED IT
WITH A GOLF CLUB.Copy !req
404. WELL, JUDGING BYCopy !req
405. THE OVERWHELMING NEGATIVE
RESPONSE ONLINE,Copy !req
406. YOU'D HAVE THOUGHT I BURNEDCopy !req
407. A PILE OF DEAD BABIES
HOLDING BIBLES.Copy !req
408. THIS IS AMERICA, RIGHT?Copy !req
409. LISTEN TO THESE COMMENTS.Copy !req
410. SEE, YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND,
$1 MILLION TO MECopy !req
411. IS LIKE $1/2 TO YOU.Copy !req
412. NOLAN WRITES...Copy !req
413. YEAH, IF A GIRL COULD PLAY
FROM THE BLUE TEES.Copy !req
414. AND REACH A PAR 5
IN 2.Copy !req
415. DID ANYBODY SAY ANYTHING NICE
ABOUT MY GAME?Copy !req
416. "OH, IT'S COMEDY."Copy !req
417. RIGHT.Copy !req
418. LUKAS WRITES...Copy !req
419. WELL SAID, LUKAS.Copy !req
420. COUNTERPOINT...Copy !req
421. BEACHBUM WANTS TO KNOW
ABOUT...Copy !req
422. - WELL, ACTUALLY
THAT'S A GREAT IDEA.Copy !req
423. TOO BAD THERE'S NO WI-FI
IN INNER CITIES.Copy !req
424. SEE YOU NEXT WEEK.
GOOD NIGHT.Copy !req
425. - YOU DIDN'T SWEAR.
- NO, I DON'T SWEAR.Copy !req
426. - YOU DON'T SWEAR, EVER?
- NO.Copy !req
427. - EVER?
- NO.Copy !req
428. - THAT IS UNBELIEV—
I USED TO NOT SWEAR.Copy !req
429. - HONESTLY.Copy !req
430. AND THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN,
AT SOME POINT IN MY LIFE,Copy !req
431. I JUST STARTED SWEARING
CONSTANTLY,Copy !req
432. AND IT HASN'T STOPPED.Copy !req
433. WHAT DO YOU THINK
I COULD DOCopy !req
434. TO KEEP MYSELF
FROM SWEARING SO MUCH?Copy !req
435. - MAYBE GET ONE OF
THOSE MONEY JARS.Copy !req
436. YOU PUT—YOU SWEAR,
YOU PUT A QUARTER IN.Copy !req
437. - OH, I COULD AFFORD THAT.
- OR GET A TASER.Copy !req
438. - OR A TASER?Copy !req
439. - TASE YOURSELF
WHEN YOU SWEAR.Copy !req
440. - I THINK THE LATTER WOULD BE
A LITTLE MORE EFFECTIVE.Copy !req