Tosh.0 2x24

Directed by

Web Redemption for the Reporter Who Can't Break Glass, why did you take your shirt off, Daniel tasers people. KTVL reporter Sebastian Robertson in Medford, Oregon had problems breaking a car window in a vehicle theft. Gallagher helps in the redemption by breaking a glass window to get watermelon. Tosh parodies the Budapest 70 pixel photograph by showing a photograph of Los Angeles, California in which Tosh is naked in at least two places.

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1. WHOO!

2. OH, MAN!

3. THAT IS ONE STRONG DONG.

4. GOTTA WORK UP TO THAT.

5. WELCOME TO TOSH.0.

6. AS MOST OF YOU KNOW, I HAVE A

7. YEAST INFECTION IN MY THROAT.

8. I WANT TO ASSURE YOU, THIS WILL

9. NOT AFFECT TONIGHT'S

10. PERFORMANCE.

11. YEAH.

12. NOTHING GAY ABOUT HAVING A YEAST

13. INFECTION IN YOUR THROAT.

14. TONIGHT ON THE SHOW, THIS

15. REPORTER GETS A WEB REDEMPTION,

16. I TASE EVERYONE I KNOW, AND I'VE

17. BEEN PHOTOGRAPHED DOING VERY

18. INAPPROPRIATE THINGS ALL OVER

19. HOLLYWOOD.

20. ALL RIGHT.

21. SADLY, I KIND OF WANT TO SEE

22. THAT HANG JOB AGAIN.

23. AND THE EVIAN AWARD FOR

24. STRONGEST SCROTUM GOES TO —

25. I'M MORE IMPRESSED WITH HOW

26. SMOOTH AND HAIRLESS HIS SAC IS.

27. THERE IS ALWAYS A LINE FOR THAT

28. MACHINE AT MY GYM.

29. YOU JUST GONNA HANG THERE ALL

30. DAY?

31. START STROKING.

32. I'VE BEEN TOLD I HAVE SOME

33. PRETTY STRONG NADS MYSELF.

34. AWFULLY GENEROUS WITH THE BLUR.

35. THAT IS THE ONLY WAY I CAN GET

36. MY DOG TO GO TO SLEEP.

37. HE'S LIKE, "HANG ME FROM YOUR

38. AND YOU JUST LOOK AT HIS FACE,

39. AND YOU'RE LIKE, "ALL RIGHT."

40. IF ANY BOXES PLAN ON MUGGING

41. THIS NEXT GUY, CONSIDER YOURSELF

42. WARNED.

43. HE IS TAKING THE NEIGHBORHOOD

44. WATCH A LITTLE TOO SERIOUSLY.

45. DON'T LAUGH.

46. HIS PARENTS WERE MURDERED BY

47. CARDBOARD.

48. JUST HANGING OUT.

49. ALONE.

50. HE'S TAKING THE DIVORCE REALLY

51. HARD.

52. SOMEONE MIGHT WANT TO TAKE A

53. PEEK IN HIS CRAWLSPACE.

54. OUR NEXT CLIP PROVES THERE ARE

55. REALLY PLENTY OF FISH IN THE

56. SEA.

57. OH, MY GOD!

58. HOLY MACKEREL, JIM JOE.

59. IT'S SEA WORLD FOR HILLBILLIES.

60. WHY IS HE NOT SLOWING DOWN?

61. UH, THERE'S A BETTER FISHING

62. SPOT RIGHT UP AHEAD WHERE THEY

63. JUMP OUT, ALREADY GRILLED AND

64. PLATED.

65. THE DEADLIEST CATCH IS STILL

66. AIDS.

67. IT IS.

68. IT IS.

69. PRETTY SURE THAT'S DOCUMENTED.

70. JUST A HEADS-UP.

71. THIS NEXT VIDEO IS FROM A SPIN

72. CLASS THAT'S PRETTY ADVANCED.

73. NO WONDER MY KUNG PAO CHICKEN

74. ARRIVED SO FAST.

75. YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE THEY CAN DO

76. SUPER FAST?

77. MATH!

78. OH, MAN, YOU GUYS ARE RACIST.

79. THIS IS STILL HOW THEY GENERATE

80. ELECTRICITY IN NORTH KOREA.

81. HA!

82. JUST KIDDING, NORTH KOREA.

83. WE LOVE YOU.

84. WAY TO GO, "RANCE" ARMSTRONG.

85. YOU'RE GONNA GET TO WEAR THE

86. "YARRO" JERSEY FOR THE TOUR DE

87. NOWHERE.

88. AND NOW IT'S TIME FOR OUR

89. FIRST-EVER FISTING VIDEO.

90. GO AHEAD AND TAKE A DEEP

91. BREATH.

92. LIKE THIS?

93. PUNCH HER.

94. AAH!

95. GREAT.

96. NOW HER BABY WILL HAVE AUTISM.

97. I THINK WE CALL THAT AN UPPER

98. HEY, MAYBE HE SAW A VOLKSWAGEN.

99. THAT'S THE RULE.

100. YOU SEE A VW, AND YOU HAVE TO

101. GIVE HER A HAYMAKER IN THE

102. BABYMAKER.

103. THE OLD MORNING-AFTER PUNCH.

104. RISE AND SHINE, HONEY.

105. BEFORE WE GO, CAN I SMELL YOUR

106. KNUCKLES?

107. THIS NEXT VIDEO SHOWS THAT

108. FALLING TO YOUR DEATH IS A WAY

109. BETTER MOTIVATOR THAN A PERSONAL

110. TRAINER.

111. DOESN'T COUNT.

112. DOESN'T COUNT.

113. YOU'VE GOT TO GET YOUR CHIN OVER

114. THE BAR.

115. I THOUGHT WE WERE DOING LOWER

116. BODY TODAY.

117. NO GIRLS DO IT, THOUGH.

118. THAT'D BE A FUN VIDEO.

119. AND — OH, SHE'S GONE.

120. AT LEAST HE'LL BE TONED WHEN

121. THEY FIND HIS BODY.

122. YOU EVER HEARD OF A BOOZE

123. CRUISE?

124. THIS NEXT ONE SHOULD BE CALLED A

125. BRUISE CRUISE, BECAUSE EVERYBODY

126. ON THE BOAT DIES.

127. I DON'T HAVE TO WATCH.

128. I KNOW HOW IT ENDS.

129. DICAPRIO WASTES HIS LIFE TO SAVE

130. AN ANNOYING FAT GIRL.

131. LET'S GET ALL HANDS ON DECK IN

132. THIS WEEK'S BREAKDOWN.

133. YEAH!

134. IS THERE ANYTHING BETTER THAN

135. A CRUISE?

136. IT'S LIKE A FLOATING PRISON WITH

137. SMALLER ROOMS AND BETTER FOOD,

138. BUT THE SAME AMOUNT OF

139. INVOLUNTARY ANAL.

140. I MEAN, DIDN'T WE INVENT

141. AIRPLANES SO WE WOULDN'T HAVE TO

142. USE BOATS ANYMORE?

143. WHO BUTTERED THE FLOOR?

144. IT LOOKS LIKE THAT AWESOME

145. JAMIROQUAI VIDEO.

146. YOU KNOW THE ONE.

147. HE ONLY HAD ONE.

148. OH, WOW, I'VE NEVER SEEN SOMEONE

149. HIS SIZE DO THE SMOOTH CRIMINAL

150. LEAN.

151. EDDIE, ARE YOU OKAY?

152. ARE YOU OKAY, EDDIE?

153. THOSE ARE SOME ROUGH SEAS.

154. THIS WOULD BE THE PERFECT TIME

155. TO TAKE YOUR WIFE FOR A ROMANTIC

156. "STROLL" ON THE LIDO DECK.

157. THEY'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO PROVE

158. IT.

159. OOH!

160. SOMEONE CALL THE SHIP'S DOCTOR.

161. LINDA FROM OMAHA JUST TOOK IT TO

162. THE FACE.

163. SHE MIGHT HAVE TO SKIP THE

164. MIDNIGHT BUFFET.

165. YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD MAKE HER

166. FEEL A LOT BETTER?

167. A HUNDRED CHAIRS!

168. ATTENTION, EVERYONE.

169. SORRY ABOUT YOUR HEAD TRAUMA.

170. PLEASE GO BACK TO YOUR

171. WINDOWLESS CABINS AND CHECK ON

172. YOUR BABIES.

173. I'M JUST GLAD THE FOOTAGE DIDN'T

174. GO DOWN WITH THE SHIP, AND FOR

175. THAT, WE SAY BON VOYAGE.

176. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH THE

177. REPORTER WHO CAN'T BREAK GLASS.

178. BUT FIRST, WHY DID YOU TAKE YOUR

179. SHIRT OFF?

180. ALL IT TAKES IS A MATTER OF

181. SECONDS TO GET IN YOUR VEHICLE.

182. ALL A THIEF NEEDS IS A HAMMER,

183. AN EMPTY PARKING LOT —

184. ALL THEY NEED IS A HAMMER.

185. MAKE SURE NO ONE'S AROUND.

186. MAKE SURE NO ONE'S AROUND.

187. ALL THEY NEED IS A HAMMER.

188. MAKE SURE NO ONE'S AROUND.

189. WHAT'S THE PROBLEM HERE?

190. GIVE IT A GOOD BLOW.

191. IPOD, WALLET, WHATEVER IS IN

192. PLAIN SIGHT, IT'S THEIRS, AND

193. THEY'RE OUT OF THERE.

194. WHY DIDN'T THEY SEND THE

195. BLACK REPORTER?

196. THAT'S REVERSE RACISM.

197. SEBASTIAN IS THE LOCAL NEWSMAN

198. WHO TRIED TO DO A PIECE ABOUT

199. HOW EASY IT IS TO STEAL CARS.

200. HIS ONLY MISTAKE WAS BEING BORN

201. A 90-POUND WEAKLING.

202. GRAND THEFT AUTO IS NOT

203. DIFFICULT.

204. ALL YOU NEED IS A HAMMER AND

205. SOME UPPER BODY STRENGTH.

206. OR YOU COULD JUST STEAL STUFF

207. OUT OF JEEPS.

208. AND WHO'S STILL JACKING CAR

209. STEREOS?

210. THE ONLY PERSON IN THE MARKET

211. FOR A STOLEN STEREO IS THE GUY

212. YOU JUST ROBBED, AND HE'S IN NO

213. MOOD TO GIVE YOU HIS CREDIT

214. CARD.

215. I THINK HAVING YOUR ELECTRONICS

216. STOLEN IS JUST GOD'S WAY OF

217. TELLING YOU IT'S TIME TO UPGRADE

218. YOUR EQUIPMENT.

219. CAR ALARMS ARE POINTLESS TOO.

220. WHENEVER I HEAR ONE GO OFF IN

221. THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT, I DON'T

222. CALL THE POLICE.

223. I PRAY FOR THE THIEF TO HURRY

224. THE EFF UP SO I CAN GO BACK TO

225. BED.

226. THE BEST SECURITY SYSTEM OUT

227. THERE IS CALLED A GARAGE, AND

228. THEY COME FREE WITH A HOUSE.

229. AND AS LONG AS THAT HOME ISN'T

230. IN A LOW INCOME NEIGHBORHOOD,

231. YOU SHOULD BE FINE.

232. JUST REMEMBER, STEALING IS

233. WRONG.

234. EXCEPT FOR MUSIC.

235. OH.

236. GOOD LUCK GETTING ME TO PAY $10

237. FOR AN ARCTIC MONKEYS ALBUM.

238. SEBASTIAN WAS JUST TRYING TO

239. MAKE THE WORLD A LITTLE SAFER,

240. BUT HIS DREAMS WERE SHATTERED

241. WHEN THAT WINDOW WOULDN'T.

242. THAT'S WHY I FLEW HIM TO

243. HOLLYWOOD FOR A LITTLE B&E IN

244. THIS WEEK'S WEB REDEMPTION.

245. SEBASTIAN.

246. HEY, DANIEL.

247. HOW'S IT GOING?

248. HOW ARE YOU?

249. NICE TO MEET YOU.

250. NICE TO MEET YOU.

251. WHAT DO YOU GOT?

252. KEYS ARE LOCKED IN THE CAR.

253. SEEMS TO HAPPEN TO YOU A LOT.

254. I KNOW.

255. NO, NO.

256. I TELL YOU WHAT.

257. I HAVE THE PERFECT THING.

258. YEAH?

259. HOLD ON.

260. DID YOU GET YOUR KEYS?

261. YOU'RE GONNA BE ABLE TO BUFF

262. THAT OUT.

263. SEBASTIAN, WHERE ARE YOU FROM?

264. I'M FROM SEATTLE, BUT I'M

265. WORKING IN MEDFORD, OREGON, AS A

266. NEWS REPORTER.

267. I WANT TO TELL YOU, THE FIRST

268. THING THAT I NOTICED WHEN I SAW

269. YOU, I WAS LIKE, "HOLY COW.

270. THIS GUY LOOKS LIKE HE'S TEN

271. YEARS OLD."

272. YEP.

273. I GET THAT A LOT.

274. HOW OLD ARE YOU?

275. I'M 24.

276. YOU'RE 24 YEARS OLD.

277. YEAH.

278. FRESH OUT OF COLLEGE.

279. SO YOU ARE A NEWSCASTER?

280. YEAH.

281. I WORK FOR THE CBS AFFILIATE IN

282. MEDFORD.

283. IT'S KTVL.

284. WHAT HAPPENED THAT DAY?

285. THERE WAS, YOU KNOW, AN

286. INCREASE ON CAMPUS OF CAR

287. BREAK-INS, SO I THOUGHT, WHAT

288. BETTER WAY TO DEMONSTRATE IT

289. THAN TO DO IT MYSELF, 'CAUSE IT,

290. YOU KNOW, IT SEEMS SO EASY.

291. RIGHT.

292. YOU JUST WALK UP.

293. YOU TAKE A HAMMER TO THE WINDOW,

294. AND IT GOES STRAIGHT THROUGH.

295. HOW MANY TIMES DID IT

296. ACTUALLY TAKE?

297. EVERY TAKE I DID.

298. 10, 12, 13 TAKES.

299. AND YOU GOT CUT.

300. DID YOU GET HURT?

301. YOU KNOW, THE ADRENALINE OF

302. GOING THROUGH, I REALLY DIDN'T

303. FEEL IT, SO I WENT TO THE E.R.,

304. AND THEY HAD TO WAIT TILL THE

305. PLASTIC SURGEON CAME.

306. WHOA!

307. YEAH.

308. IT WAS 3/4THS OF THE WAY THROUGH

309. THE TENDON.

310. UM, AND YOU CAN STILL SEE THE

311. BUMP THERE.

312. BUT THE REHAB WAS THE FUNNIEST

313. PART.

314. IT WAS LIKE A BOWFLEX ON MY

315. HAND.

316. ARE YOU RIGHT-HANDED OR

317. LEFT-HANDED?

318. I'M LEFT-HANDED.

319. OH, MAN.

320. HOW LONG WERE YOU OUT OF

321. COMMISSION?

322. I WAS BACK ON MY FEET IN A

323. COUPLE WEEKS.

324. REALLY?

325. OR DID YOU SWITCH RIGHTY?

326. I, UH, I MADE DO.

327. FEELS LIKE SOMEONE ELSE IS

328. DOING IT WHEN YOU USE THE OTHER

329. HAND, DOESN'T IT?

330. DID PEOPLE MAKE FUN OF YOU?

331. YOU KNOW, INITIALLY, I PUT IT

332. ONLINE JUST FOR MY FRIENDS TO

333. SEE, MY ROOMMATES, AND I GOT A

334. LOT OF TEASING.

335. BUT I THINK IT WAS MORE JUST,

336. LIKE, BIZARRE THAN ANYTHING

337. ELSE.

338. YOU KEPT ASKING AFTER YOU'D

339. HIT IT, "WHAT'S WRONG HERE,

340. GUYS?"

341. YEAH.

342. DID ANYONE EVER SAY, UH,

343. "IT'S YOU, YOU PUSSY"?

344. THAT WAS ONE OF THE THEORIES.

345. HAVE YOU EVER USED A HAMMER

346. BEFORE?

347. YES.

348. WHAT'D YOU HAVE THERE?

349. WHAT KIND OF HAMMER WAS THAT?

350. I DON'T EVEN KNOW.

351. A JUNKYARD HAMMER.

352. YEAH.

353. YOU GET YOURSELF A STANLEY.

354. STANLEY'S A GOOD HAMMER.

355. I THINK IT WAS FAULTY GLASS.

356. THERE'S NO WAY GLASS IS THAT

357. STRONG.

358. WHAT WOULD BE YOUR DREAM

359. REPORT TO DO NOW?

360. TO DO NOW —

361. WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO TO

362. AFGHANISTAN?

363. SURE, I'D LOVE TO.

364. WOULD YOU LIKE TO WRESTLE

365. ANDERSON COOPER IN THE OIL

366. SPILL?

367. I DON'T THINK I WOULD.

368. DO YOU FEEL LIKE YOU STOPPED

369. SOME CRIME ON THAT CAMPUS

370. BECAUSE OF YOUR STORY?

371. I THINK PEOPLE LOCK THEIR

372. DOORS NOW.

373. ARE YOU HUNGRY?

374. YOU WANT SOME WATERMELON?

375. SURE.

376. I THINK THERE'S A WATERMELON

377. MACHINE AROUND HERE.

378. YOU'VE GOT TO BE ING

379. KIDDING ME.

380. COME ON.

381. NOT TODAY.

382. WHAT'S GOING ON?

383. WHOA!

384. HEY, HEY!

385. IT TOOK MY MONEY.

386. NO, YOU JUST HAVE TO — IT'S

387. JUST STUCK.

388. YOU JUST HAVE TO GIVE IT A — IF

389. YOU JUST HIT IT.

390. IT'S JUST A LITTLE STUCK.

391. HEY!

392. IT'S SLEDGE-O-MATIC!

393. THANKS, GALLAGHER.

394. I DON'T KNOW WHY HE IS SO ANGRY

395. AT WATERMELON.

396. HERE YOU GO.

397. THANKS.

398. CAREFUL.

399. THERE'S GLASS.

400. ALL RIGHT.

401. YOU'VE LEARNED FROM THE ABSOLUTE

402. BEST.

403. THE WORLD WANTS TO KNOW, ARE YOU

404. READY TO GIVE IT ANOTHER SHOT?

405. I'M READY.

406. ALL RIGHT, HERE YOU GO.

407. WHAT ARE WE BREAKING?

408. HOW ABOUT A STRETCH HUMMER?

409. IS IT YOURS?

410. OF COURSE IT'S NOT MINE.

411. BUT ANYBODY THAT'S COMFORTABLE

412. ENOUGH TO TAKE UP FOUR PARKING

413. SPACES DESERVES TO HAVE THEIR

414. WINDOWS BROKE.

415. NOW, LINE IT UP.

416. DEEP BREATHS.

417. BIG SWING.

418. FOLLOW THROUGH.

419. ALL RIGHT.

420. THINK OF SOMEONE THAT YOU

421. HATE.

422. MAYBE A GIRLFRIEND.

423. YEP.

424. BOYFRIEND.

425. I DON'T KNOW.

426. WHATEVER.

427. RIGHT.

428. YES!

429. GOOD JOB!

430. NICE!

431. FIRST TRY.

432. YES.

433. HEY, THAT'S MY CAR!

434. WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?

435. WATERMELONS, NOT CARS!

436. WHAT DID YOU LEARN FROM ME?

437. JUST WATERMELONS!

438. HEY, THAT'S STILL MY CAR!

439. I DON'T GIVE A.

440. I'LL KNOCK YOU DOWN.

441. WE TRIED TO GET GALLAGHER II

442. FOR THAT BIT, BUT HE IS LEGALLY

443. NOT ALLOWED TO GROW A MUSTACHE.

444. YEAH.

445. YOU MIGHT HAVE TO WIKIPEDIA THAT

446. ONE.

447. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK, BUT FIRST,

448. LET'S CHECK IN ON MICHAEL.

449. MICHAEL.

450. MICHAEL.

451. WHO'S GOT THE OFFICIAL TIMER?

452. CHOCOLATE.

453. WHO'S GONNA SET THE TIMER?

454. HE WON'T STAND A SECOND.

455. THREE, TWO, ONE.

456. AAH!

457. GOD!

458. OKAY!

459. ALL RIGHT!

460. STOP NOW!

461. THAT GUY HAD 50,000 VOLTS OF

462. ELECTRICITY COURSING THROUGH HIS

463. BOMB-ASS BODY AND IT COULDN'T BE

464. FUNNIER.

465. IMAGINE HOW MUCH JOY I COULD

466. BRING TO THE WORLD IF I FIGURED

467. OUT A WAY TO TASE THOUSANDS OF

468. PEOPLE AT ONCE.

469. BUT DANIEL, THE VOLTAGE FROM A

470. TASER WON'T TRAVEL FROM PERSON

471. TO PERSON.

472. YES, IT WILL, IF YOU GET A LONG

473. ENOUGH WIRE TO REACH THE LAST

474. PERSON IN YOUR CHAIN TO COMPLETE

475. THE CIRCUIT.

476. TASED ACROSS AMERICA, SO

477. CHILDREN IN AFRICA CAN LAUGH.

478. TASE ME, BRO.

479. AAH!

480. !

481. THAT WAS A JOLT IN THE FUR

482. SPOT.

483. OH, IT WAS SOMETHING

484. SOMETHING.

485. HARD TO TELL, BUT IT WAS

486. EXTREMELY PAINFUL —

487. NOT NEARLY AS BAD AS THE DOZEN

488. OR SO TEST RUNS I HAD TO DO

489. AROUND THE OFFICE.

490. READY?

491. ONE, TWO, THREE.

492. OW!

493. OH, CRAP!

494. OH!

495. AAH!

496. AAH!

497. OH!

498. AAHHH!

499. AAH!

500. AAH!

501. OW, OW, OW!

502. OH,

503. AAH!

504. OH,

505. AAH!

506. OH,

507. TURN IT THE OFF.

508. OH, GOD!

509. AAH!

510. AAH!

511. AH,

512. OH!

513. I WAS USING ELECTRIC FENCE

514. SET TO GOAT.

515. I HAVE YET TO FIND ANYONE IN THE

516. OFFICE WHO WOULD TRY BEAR.

517. PLEASE DON'T SEND IN ANY VIDEOS

518. OF YOU OR ANYONE ELECTROCUTING

519. THEMSELVES, UNLESS YOU'RE

520. WILLING TO TRY THAT BEAR

521. SETTING.

522. A FEW WEEKS AGO, I SHOWED YOU

523. THINGS YOU SHOULD NEVER RUN INTO

524. A ROOM AND YELL.

525. YOU WERE TOLD TO MAKE SOME OF

526. YOUR OWN, AND LO AND BEHOLD, YOU

527. CAME THROUGH.

528. I HAVE TWO GMAIL ACCOUNTS

529. UNDER THE SAME NAME.

530. GUYS, GUYS, I JUST HAD THE

531. WORST DREAM!

532. ME AND DANIEL TOSH,

533. HEY, GUYS, I GOT A NEW

534. JACKET?

535. LET'S NOT TURN THIS RAPE INTO

536. A MURDER.

537. THIS SUNDAY, MY HOUSE, 8:00,

538. FREE TAP-DANCING LESSONS, AND

539. EVERYONE'S INVITED.

540. I LIKE FRAPPUCCINOS.

541. A LOT.

542. I GET TO BE THE BEE!

543. WHOO!

544. SOMEONE HAD A FUNNY AIDS ONE,

545. BUT WE HAD TO CUT IT, BECAUSE

546. WE'RE ONLY ALLOWED ONE AIDS JOKE

547. PER 'SODE.

548. RESPECT THE RULES.

549. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE

550. BIG LAKE.

551. HMM, WELCOME BACK, JAGOFFS.

552. UH, BE SURE TO TUNE IN NEXT WEEK

553. FOR OUR BIG, FANCY, SEASON

554. FINALE, LIVE FROM THE GROUND

555. ZERO MOSQUE.

556. SPECIAL GUEST CO-HOST BRUCE

557. BRUCE STOPS BY.

558. YEAH!

559. AND AN ACOUSTIC PERFORMANCE BY

560. NONE OTHER THAN PANTERA.

561. AH!

562. I CANNOT BELIEVE ANOTHER YEAR'S

563. ALREADY GONE BY.

564. RECENTLY, SOME NERDS TOOK THE

565. WORLD'S LARGEST PHOTO AND PUT IT

566. ON THE INTERNET.

567. YOU CAN ZOOM INTO BUILDINGS,

568. EVEN SEE INSIDE.

569. THE PROBLEM IS, THE PHOTO'S OF

570. BUDAPEST, SO I COULDN'T CARE

571. LESS.

572. THAT'S WHY I DECIDED TO TAKE MY

573. OWN HUGE PICTURE OF HOLLYWOOD

574. INSTEAD.

575. THE BEST PART, IF YOU LOOK

576. CAREFULLY, YOU'LL FIND ME GOING

577. ABOUT MY DAY ALL AROUND THE

578. CITY.

579. THERE'S ME, BEING DRAGGED BEHIND

580. A CAR, NAKED.

581. PRETTY SURE THAT'S A HATE CRIME.

582. NOT SURE WHY.

583. AND THERE I AM, TAKING MYSELF TO

584. POUND TOWN.

585. I'LL BE HONEST, I'M STILL THE

586. MOST GENEROUS LOVER I'VE EVER

587. HAD.

588. GO TO OUR BLOG AT

589. COMEDYCENTRAL.COM/TOSH.0 TO

590. CHECK OUT THE PHOTO FOR

591. YOURSELF, AND IF YOU CAN FIND

592. ALL 52 OF ME, YOU AND YOUR

593. FAMILY WILL GET TO SPEND

594. CHRISTMAS WITH ME AT MY VACATION

595. HOUSE IN ASPEN.

596. YEAH.

597. ALSO COME SEE ME ON THE TOSH

598. TOUR 2010.

599. PLEASE DON'T PAY A LOT OF MONEY.

600. YOU'LL BE LIKE, "OH, IT'S SOLD

601. OUT."

602. JUST, LIKE, WAIT TILL NEXT YEAR.

603. THE SHOW'S NOT THAT GOOD.

604. I'VE SEEN IT.

605. AND PLEASE FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER

606. SO WE CAN LIVE CHAT DURING THE

607. SHOW.

608. YOU CAN ALSO WATCH FULL EPISODES

609. OF TOSH.0 ON FLO TV LIVE MOBILE

610. TELEVISION.

611. FINALLY, I SHOWED YOU THIS VIDEO

612. LAST WEEK AND ASKED YOU TO GUESS

613. WHAT I WAS REACTING TO.

614. WELL, HERE ARE YOUR GUESSES.

615. WAS IT JANE LYNCH WINNING AN

616. EMMY?

617. NO, IT WASN'T, BUT SHE DESERVED

618. IT.

619. I AM A HUGE GLEETARD.

620. I DON'T KNOW.

621. BUT IT WAS RECIO FROM THE BLACK

622. GUY CLIP OF THE WEEK?

623. YES, RECIO, THAT WAS YOU.

624. WERE YOU WATCHING THE JETS AND

625. THE SLUTTY MEXICAN REPORTER?

626. NO.

627. I FIND THAT HARD TO BELIEVE.

628. THE JETS CAN'T SCORE ON ANYONE.

629. GONNA BE A LONG YEAR, SANCHEZ.

630. YOU WERE WATCHING THE DIFF'RENT

631. STROKES EPISODE WITH DUDLEY IN

632. THE BIKE SHOP.

633. OH!

634. YOU MEAN THE MOLESTING EPISODE.

635. NO, I WASN'T, BUT SOLID

636. REFERENCE.

637. NO.

638. WAS IT THE INTERROGATION ROOM

639. SUICIDE?

640. NO.

641. GOOD JOB BEING WRONG, EVERYBODY.

642. IT WAS A VIDEO OF A GU — ALL

643. RIGHT, WE ARE OUT OF TIME.

644. SEE YOU NEXT WEEK.

645. GOOD NIGHT.