Tosh.0 2x23

1. AW!

2. I HOPE YOU'RE NOT CLAPPING FOR

3. THE WORST FATHER IN ALL OF

4. SYRIA.

5. WELCOME TO TOSH.0.

6. YOU CAN TELL WE'RE GETTING CLOSE

7. TO THE END OF THE SEASON.

8. THIS "V" IS SO TINY.

9. SUMMER IS OFFICIALLY OVER.

10. YOU CAN ALL GO BACK TO BEING

11. FAT.

12. EXCEPT FOR YOU LADIES.

13. I WOULDN'T RECOMMEND IT.

14. UHH!

15. YOU THINK IT'S COLD BEING

16. SKINNY.

17. TRY SLEEPING ALONE.

18. I'M SHALLOW.

19. TONIGHT ON THE SHOW, THE "I LIKE

20. TURTLES" KID GETS A WEB

21. REDEMPTION, I'M THE FIRST TO

22. MAKE A FIRST VIDEO, AND WE FIND

23. OUT IF A HOT CHICK CAN LOOK HOT

24. WHILE DOING THE CINNAMON

25. CHALLENGE.

26. OOH, DOUBTFUL.

27. ALL RIGHT, LET'S HEAD BACK TO

28. THE BEST WEDDING EVER.

29. OH, YEAH, I'M SURE WE'LL HAVE

30. PEACE IN THE MIDDLE EAST ANY DAY

31. NOW.

32. IT LOOKS REAL STABLE OVER THERE.

33. "I LEARNED IT BY WATCHING YOU,

34. DAD.

35. I LEARNED IT BY WATCHING YOU."

36. DOES ANYONE ELSE REMEMBER THOSE

37. PSAS?

38. WELL, THEN, ING LAUGH.

39. JEEZ.

40. GLAD IT WASN'T A SHOTGUN

41. WEDDING.

42. TCH-TCH.

43. DAD'S IN HALF!

44. THIS NEXT VIDEO IS NEW TRAILER

45. PARK WORLD RECORD.

46. YOU DON'T SPEND A SUMMER WORKING

47. AT DAIRY QUEEN WITHOUT LEARNING

48. SOME VALUABLE LIFE SKILLS.

49. OKAY.

50. 7:10, 15.

51. THIS IS BANANAS.

52. B-A-N-A-N-A-S.

53. OH!

54. OKAY, JOEY, NOW YOU KNOW WHAT

55. YOU'RE LOOKIN' FOR WHEN YOU WANT

56. TO GET MARRIED.

57. TWO.

58. OKAY, JOEY, THE LAST THING

59. YOU WANT IS TO SHARE YOUR WIFE'S

60. MOUTH WITH A BUDDY.

61. CALL ME OLD-FASHIONED.

62. I LIKE A ONE BANANA GIRL.

63. THANKS, AUNT CONNIE.

64. NOW WHAT ARE WE GONNA PUT IN OUR

65. CEREAL?

66. SOMEBODY DOESN'T LIKE FRUIT IN

67. THEIR CEREAL.

68. HONK IF THAT MADE YOU HORNY.

69. MUST BE REALLY BAD TRAFFIC.

70. ALL RIGHT, LET'S PUT 20 SECONDS

71. ON THE CLOCK AND SEE HOW MANY

72. FUNNY COMMENTS WE CAN MAKE.

73. BABY-MAKER ON BOARD.

74. THIS CAR HAS A NEW

75. SMELL.

76. I WONDER IF THIS SHOWS UP ON

77. CARFAX.

78. THAT'S HOW HYBRIDS ARE BORN.

79. I HOPE HE DOESN'T FINISH ON THE

80. DASHBOARD.

81. I ONLY AMERICAN.

82. A LOT OF PEOPLE DON'T KNOW THAT

83. ARMOR ALL IS ACTUALLY MADE FROM

84. BABY GOO.

85. GOO GOO.

86. WHAT'S THE NEXT VIDEO ON DECK?

87. CUTE TRICK.

88. NOW CHOKE UP AND HIT A SAC FLY,

89. ROOK.

90. QUIT SHOWBOATING.

91. THAT'S WHY YOU'RE STUCK IN THE

92. MINORS.

93. I'M JUST IMPRESSED TO SEE A

94. BASEBALL PLAYER GO MORE THAN 15

95. SECONDS WITHOUT TOUCHING HIS

96. JUNK.

97. YEAH, THAT IS HOT.

98. HARDEST THING TO DO IN SPORTS,

99. HIT A BASEBALL.

100. TRY SPINNING THE BAT AT THE

101. PLATE.

102. YEAH, GROUND RULE DOUBLE GOT

103. STUCK BEHIND THE COPY MACHINE.

104. HERE'S A SHORTCUT THAT DIDN'T

105. WORK OUT.

106. WHOO HOO HOO HOO HOO!

107. THEY SHOULD REALLY MAKE THAT

108. GIANT YELLOW SIGN EASIER TO SEE.

109. THAT'S HOW I HOPE BILL ENGVALL

110. DIES.

111. HERE'S YOUR SIGN.

112. WHO'S READY FOR AN ACE OF BASE

113. REFERENCE?

114. AND NOW, THE LEAST PEE-SHY MAN

115. IN THE WORLD.

116. THAT IS A DRUNK MULTI-TASKER.

117. HEY, AT LEAST HE'LL KNOW HOW TO

118. GET BACK HOME.

119. THAT'S PROBABLY HOW THEY CLEAN

120. THE STREETS IN THE BRONX.

121. A LOT OF PEOPLE WRITE IN AND ASK

122. WHERE I WORK OUT.

123. WELL, YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO TO A

124. FANCY GYM TO GET A PERFECT BODY.

125. JUST ASK THESE TWO GUYS IN THEIR

126. GARAGE.

127. TURNS OUT THE SECRET PART OF

128. P90X IS THAT IT MAKES YOU LOOK

129. SUPER GAY.

130. I HOPE HE WIPED DOWN THAT BLACK

131. GUY WHEN HE FINISHED USING HIM.

132. I'M GERMAPHOBIC.

133. SORRY, DUDE, I GOT A LITTLE

134. SQUIRMY WHEN YOU BALLS BRUSHED

135. THE BACK OF MY NECK.

136. HEY, LET'S HEAD TO MY FAVORITE

137. PLACE, THE ZOO.

138. WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.

139. HEY, HEY!

140. HEY, HEY!

141. THE WORST THING A PANDA EVER

142. DID TO ME WAS GIVE ME DIARRHEA.

143. WELL, THAT'S WHAT I GET FOR

144. GOING ROGUE.

145. WENT BEEF AND BROCCOLI.

146. I ALWAYS GO ORANGE CHICKEN.

147. IT'S THE YEAR OF THE KUNG FU

148. PANDA IN THIS WEEK'S BREAKDOWN.

149. LET ME TELL YOU, ZOOS IN CHINA

150. ARE AWESOME.

151. THERE'S NOTHING BUT PANDAS AND

152. DRAGONS EVERYWHERE.

153. THEY'RE LIKE SQUIRRELS OR POOR

154. PEOPLE IN DETROIT.

155. SEE, P.F. CHANG DECIDED TO TAKE

156. A LOAD OFF NEAR A BARELY FENCED

157. IN WILD ANIMAL.

158. WELL, STEREOTYPE BUSTED.

159. NOT ALL ASIANS ARE SMART.

160. HEY, LATER ON, HE PLANS ON

161. SEEING ANOTHER ENDANGERED

162. SPECIES IN CHINA.

163. THE DAUGHTER!

164. FUNNY, HIS FORTUNE COOKIE DIDN'T

165. SAY ANYTHING ABOUT GETTING

166. ATTACKED BY A BEAR TODAY.

167. I WONDER IF BEING MAULED BY A

168. PANDA TICKLES?

169. IT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE IT.

170. BUT HE REALLY WANTS THAT JACKET.

171. IN THE PANDA'S DEFENSE, IT CAN

172. GET QUITE CHILLY IN THE FAR

173. EAST.

174. AND HE'S DOING HIM A FAVOR.

175. NO ONE SHOULD WEAR ACID-WASHED

176. DENIM.

177. EXCEPT FOR JAY LENO.

178. OKAY, HERE'S WHERE I'M ABOUT TO

179. CALL BULL.

180. SHOULDN'T ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE

181. KNOW KARATE?

182. LITTLE KNOWN FACT, HIDEKI MATSUI

183. ONCE RAN A PANDA FIGHTING RING.

184. PANDA WINS.

185. AND IF I KNOW CHINA LIKE I THINK

186. I KNOW CHINA, IT'S GONNA BE A

187. COLD RICKSHAW RIDE HOME.

188. OH, LOOKS LIKE EVERYONE HERE

189. GETS A HAPPY ENDING.

190. WELL, NOT EVERYONE.

191. WHAT'S BLACK AND WHITE AND RED

192. ALL OVER?

193. THE PANDA, AFTER P.F. CHANG

194. BLOWS ITS HEAD OFF FOR

195. DISHONORING HIM.

196. DON'T WORRY.

197. DEAD PANDAS ARE STILL ADORABLE.

198. I'M JUST GLAD THESE ASIANS WERE

199. STEREOTYPICAL ENOUGH TO HAVE A

200. CAMERA, AND FOR THAT, WE SAY,

201. "MMM, GOI GOI."

202. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH THE "I

203. LIKE TURTLES" KID'S WEB

204. REDEMPTION.

205. BUT FIRST, HERE'S A GUY WHO IS

206. TOO FAT TO SIT.

207. IT'S ACTUALLY AN OPPORTUNITY

208. FOR MEMBERS OF PARLIAMENT, EH,

209. TO —

210. — TO ACTUALLY DIGEST AND GO

211. THROUGH THE DOCUMENTATION THAT

212. IS GOING TO THE PRESIDENT AND TO

213. THE PUBLIC.

214. AND THE OPPORTUNITY FOR PROPER

215. ENGAGEMENT IS ACTUALLY AFTER THE

216. TABLING OF THE —

217. BACK HERE LIVE AT THE

218. WATERFRONT VILLAGE WITH MY

219. FRIEND THE ZOMBIE, JONATHAN.

220. YOU'RE LOOKING GOOD.

221. JONATHAN JUST GOT AN AWESOME

222. FACE-PAINT JOB.

223. WHAT DO YOU THINK?

224. I LIKE TURTLES.

225. ALL RIGHT.

226. YOU'RE A GREAT ZOMBIE.

227. I LIKE VAGINA, BUT YOU DON'T

228. SEE ME YAPPING ABOUT IT ON THE

229. NEWS.

230. CHILDREN SHOULD BE SEEN AND NOT

231. HEARD.

232. ISN'T THAT RIGHT, FATHER?

233. KIDS ARE THE WORST.

234. THEY'RE ALL WEIRDOS.

235. THAT'S WHY I'VE DEVOTED MY LIFE

236. TO PULLING OUT.

237. I DON'T WANT TO LAUGH AT YOUR

238. UNFUNNY JOKES OR TAPE YOUR

239. HORRIBLE DRAWINGS TO MY

240. EXPENSIVE SUB-ZERO REFRIGERATOR.

241. EVER HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH A

242. CHILD?

243. THEY'RE WRONG ABOUT EVERYTHING.

244. THEY CAN'T EVEN ANSWER THE $200

245. QUESTIONS ON JEOPARDY.

246. YOU THINK YOU'RE A GENIUS FOR

247. READING AN 800-PAGE HARRY POTTER

248. BOOK?

249. THERE'S ONLY FOUR WORDS ON A

250. PAGE.

251. WHO CARES WHAT KIDS LIKE?

252. THEY LOVE HILARY DUFF SO MUCH,

253. THEY MADE HER GROTESQUE-LOOKING

254. SISTER HAYLIE A STAR TOO.

255. UGH!

256. HELL, THEY EVEN ALLOW MIKE MYERS

257. AND EDDIE MURPHY TO FEEL

258. RELEVANT BECAUSE OF THOSE

259. TERRIBLE SHREK MOVIES.

260. AND LET'S NOT FORGET HOW

261. ABSOLUTELY FILTHY THEY ARE.

262. YOU EVER BEEN TO SOMEONE'S HOUSE

263. THAT HAS KIDS?

264. EVERYTHING IS ING STICKY.

265. CHINA HAS GOT THE RIGHT IDEA.

266. ALL CHILDREN DESERVE IS A BOWL

267. OF RICE AND 14 HOURS OF PRACTICE

268. A DAY.

269. I SAY, SO WHAT IF JONATHAN

270. DIDN'T MAKE SENSE.

271. AT LEAST HE MADE A BORING LOCAL

272. NEWSCAST WATCHABLE.

273. MAYBE THAT REPORTER SHOULD HAVE

274. COOLED IT WITH THE GOTCHA

275. JOURNALISM AND REALIZED THAT THE

276. BOY IN ZOMBIE MAKEUP WITH A

277. THOUSAND-YARD STARE ISN'T THE

278. BEST CHOICE FOR A SOUND BITE.

279. THAT'S WHY I DECIDED TO FLY THE

280. TURTLE KID TO HOLLYWOOD AND HELP

281. HIM BREAK OUT OF HIS SHELL IN

282. THIS WEEK'S WEB REDEMPTION.

283. JONATHAN, THANKS FOR MEETING ME

284. AT THE FAIR.

285. HUH?

286. GET IT?

287. WE LIKE TURTLENECKS.

288. YEAH.

289. THAT'S THE BEST I COULD DO.

290. JONATHAN, IF THAT IS YOUR REAL

291. NAME —

292. IT IS.

293. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS?

294. YEAH.

295. WHAT DO YOU HAVE?

296. I HAVE THREE DOGS AND FOUR

297. CATS.

298. YOU'RE LIKE A CRAZY SINGLE

299. LADY.

300. SO, HOW OLD ARE YOU?

301. 13.

302. 13.

303. HOW OLD WERE YOU WHEN THAT VIDEO

304. CAME OUT?

305. TEN.

306. AND HOW FAST, AFTER THAT

307. VIDEO GOT ONLINE, DID IT BECOME

308. POPULAR?

309. ABOUT, LIKE, A WEEK.

310. HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE SEEN

311. THAT VIDEO?

312. DO YOU KNOW?

313. ALMOST 18 MILLION.

314. WHY DO YOU THINK IT'S SO

315. POPULAR?

316. 'CAUSE I'M FUNNY.

317. HA HA!

318. IT WAS PRETTY FUNNY.

319. YEAH.

320. TELL ME THE STORY ABOUT THAT

321. DAY.

322. I HAD JUST GOT DONE FROM A

323. TURTLE EXHIBIT, AND THEN MY

324. SISTERS WERE JUST GOING TO GO

325. AND GET THEIR FACE PAINTED, AND

326. THEY ASKED ME IF I WANTED TO,

327. AND I SAID YEAH.

328. AND THEY ASKED ME HOW I WANTED

329. IT, AND I SAID, "LIKE A ZOMBIE."

330. YOU HAD JUST SEEN A TURTLE

331. EXHIBIT.

332. YEAH.

333. THAT'S IN YOUR BRAIN.

334. YEAH.

335. IF SOMEBODY'S GONNA ASK YOU A

336. QUESTION, I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE

337. PAINTED LIKE GODZILLA, YOU'RE

338. STILL THINKING TURTLES.

339. YEAH.

340. WHO'S THE MOST FAMOUS PERSON

341. YOU'VE MET?

342. YOU.

343. I NEEDED THAT.

344. I'VE HAD A LONG WEEKEND.

345. DO YOU LIKE TURTLES?

346. YEAH.

347. WHAT DO YOU LIKE ABOUT 'EM?

348. THEY'RE JUST FUN.

349. THEY'RE NOT FUN.

350. YEAH, THEY ARE.

351. WHAT'S SO FUN ABOUT A TURTLE?

352. THAT THEY HAVE A SHELL AND

353. THAT THEY CAN PUT ALL THEIR BODY

354. PARTS IN THERE.

355. DO YOU KNOW WHY THEY CAME UP

356. WITH THE STORY THE TORTOISE AND

357. THE HARE?

358. SO FAT PEOPLE WOULD FEEL GOOD

359. ABOUT THEMSELVES.

360. DO YOU THINK YOU COULD BEAT ME

361. IN A RACE?

362. YEAH.

363. YOU COULD NEVER BEAT ME IN A

364. RACE.

365. YEAH, I COULD.

366. YOU KNOW IF WE RACE THAT I'M

367. NOT GONNA TAKE IT EASY.

368. I'M JUST GONNA BLOW THE DOORS

369. OFF YA.

370. ON YOUR MARK, GET SET, GO!

371. OH!

372. OH!

373. WHOO!

374. I NEED AN ASPIRIN.

375. ALL RIGHT, JONATHAN, WELCOME TO

376. MY TURTLE ROOM.

377. THIS IS AWESOME.

378. YEAH, IT IS PRETTY AWESOME.

379. I TAKE TURTLES SERIOUSLY.

380. HAVE A SEAT.

381. I GOT YOU A HAT.

382. OH, THANK YOU.

383. I HOPE IT FITS.

384. YEAH.

385. SO YERTLE SAID, "COME ALONG,

386. TURTLES.

387. NOW LISTEN."

388. I LOVE YERTLE.

389. DIG IN.

390. OKAY.

391. IT'S TURTLE SOUP.

392. I'M KIDDING.

393. IT'S TOMATO.

394. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE CHRISTMAS

395. SONG?

396. THE TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS.

397. LET'S SING IT, BUT LET'S ONLY

398. SING OUR FAVORITE PART.

399. WOULD YOU LIKE A CHOCOLATE

400. TURTLE?

401. YOU EVER EAT DOG?

402. COWABUNGA, JONATHAN!

403. HOPE YOU BROUGHT YOUR APPETITE,

404. DUDE.

405. IT'S ME.

406. IT'S DANIEL.

407. WELCOME TO OUR PIZZA LUNCH.

408. I INVITED A FEW FRIENDS OVER.

409. TURTLE FROM ENTOURAGE.

410. GET IT?

411. YOU KNOW WHO THESE TWO ARE?

412. DAVID SCHWIMMER, PAUL PIERCE.

413. WHAT DO THEY HAVE IN COMMON?

414. THEY LOOK LIKE TURTLES.

415. THEY DO LOOK LIKE TURTLES.

416. GO AND EAT IT.

417. COME ON.

418. COME ON, LET'S GO.

419. LET'S GO, LET'S GO, LET'S — NO,

420. NO, NO!

421. NO, NO, NO, NO!

422. YES! YES!

423. YEAH!

424. ALL RIGHT, THE FAIR'S

425. TOMORROW, JONATHAN, AND WE FIXED

426. EVERYTHING THIS TIME, YOU LITTLE

427. TURTLE FREAK.

428. THE WORLD WANTS TO KNOW, ARE YOU

429. READY TO GIVE IT ANOTHER SHOT?

430. YES.

431. ALL RIGHT.

432. LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.

433. WAIT, BEFORE I GO, I HAVE TO

434. BRING THIS ONE, THIS ONE, OH,

435. AND THIS ONE.

436. ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO.

437. GO.

438. I'LL BE —

439. BACK HERE LIVE AT THE

440. WATERFRONT VILLAGE WITH MY

441. FRIEND THE ZOMBIE, JONATHAN.

442. WE'RE BACK HERE LIVE AT THE

443. WATERFRONT VILLAGE WITH MY

444. FRIEND THE TURTLE, JONATHAN.

445. LOOKIN' GOOD.

446. YOU'RE LOOKING GOOD,

447. JONATHAN.

448. JUST GOT AN AWESOME FACE-PAINT

449. JOB.

450. WHAT DO YOU THINK?

451. JONATHAN JUST GOT AN AWESOME

452. FACE-PAINT JOB.

453. WHAT DO YOU THINK?

454. WHAT DO YOU THINK?

455. WHAT DO YOU THINK?

456. I LIKE TURTLES.

457. I LIKE TURTLES.

458. I LIKE TURTLES.

459. I LIKE ZOMBIES.

460. BUT YOU'RE CLEARLY A TURTLE!

461. UHH!

462. JONATHAN!

463. UHH!

464. THIS.

465. EVERY DAY, IT'S SOMETHING NEW.

466. TOMORROW, HE LIKES DUCKS.

467. !

468. THESE FAIRS ARE RIP-OFFS.

469. THAT GAME IS DUMB.

470. !

471. GIVE ME A PRIZE!

472. OH!

473. I CAN'T DECIDE IF JONATHAN WILL

474. GROW UP TO BE A GREAT PERSON OR

475. THE GUY WHO SHOOTS UP HIS

476. OFFICE.

477. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK, BUT FIRST,

478. WE ANSWER THE AGE-OLD QUESTION.

479. CAN A HOT CHICK LOOK HOT DOING

480. THE CINNAMON CHALLENGE?

481. UH —

482. CLASS MOVE.

483. TRY IT, YEAH, COME ON.

484. YEAH, YOU CAN DO THAT.

485. WHOO!

486. CLASSIC MOVE.

487. AAH!

488. WATCH OUT.

489. WAAH!

490. FIRST!

491. I LITERALLY WAS THE FIRST PERSON

492. TO COMMENT ON THAT VIDEO.

493. THAT'S A PRETTY BIG DEAL.

494. FOR SOME REASON, PEOPLE REALLY

495. CARE ABOUT THE STUPID INTERNET

496. TRADITION OF WRITING THE WORD

497. "FIRST" IN THE COMMENTS.

498. WELL, I DECIDED TO GET OFF THE

499. COMPUTER AND BE FIRST IN LIFE.

500. HEY, GUYS, WHAT'S FOR LUNCH?

501. OH, IT LOOKS GOOD.

502. FIRST!

503. FIRST!

504. FIRST!

505. FIRST!

506. FIRST!

507. FIRST!

508. FLOOR.

509. BUDDY, SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS.

510. FIRST!

511. WILL YOU MARRY ME?

512. I DO.

513. FIRST!

514. LET ME BE FIRST TO SAY THAT KISS

515. WAS FAKE, BUT HIS BONER WAS

516. REAL.

517. IF YOU'RE FIRST AT ANYTHING,

518. PLEASE SEND IT TO US.

519. NOW IT'S TIME TO PLAY PRISONER

520. OR MILLION DOLLAR ATHLETE?

521. THAT'S WHERE WE SHOW YOU A

522. CLOSE-UP OF A TATTOO AND YOU

523. GUESS IF IT'S A PRISONER OR A

524. MILLION DOLLAR ATHLETE.

525. ALL RIGHT, HERE'S THE FIRST ONE.

526. PRISONER!

527. MILLION DOLLAR ATHLETE LEBRON

528. JAMES.

529. YEAH, HE HAS A LOT OF TATTOOS.

530. NO RINGS.

531. PRISONER!

532. ALL RIGHT, WELL, YOU CAN SEE

533. THAT HE'S WHITE, WHICH IS TOUGH,

534. BECAUSE THERE AREN'T VERY MANY

535. WHITE ATHLETES OR WHITE

536. PRISONERS.

537. OH!

538. EVERYONE WAS WRONG.

539. THAT IS A BILLION DOLLAR

540. ATHLETE, DAVID BECKHAM.

541. PEOPLE TELL ME THAT WE HAVE

542. SIMILAR BONE STRUCTURE.

543. YEAH, I SEE IT.

544. I SEE IT.

545. ATHLETE.

546. ALL RIGHT, THIS ONE COULD GO

547. EITHER WAY.

548. AH, PRISONER.

549. BUT IN FAIRNESS, HE'S PROBABLY

550. GOOD AT SPORTS.

551. OKAY, HERE'S A DOLLAR SIGN.

552. YOU KNOW WHO LIKES DOLLARS.

553. PRISONERS AND ATHLETES, SO THAT

554. TELLS US NOTHING.

555. ATHLETE.

556. AH, IT'S A PRISONER.

557. I THINK THIS GUY MIGHT HAVE

558. MURDERED A COP.

559. THIS GAME'S FUN.

560. ALL RIGHT, HERE WE HAVE A

561. RELIGIOUS TATTOO.

562. PRISONER.

563. ATHLETE.

564. IT'S BOTH.

565. YEAH.

566. IT'S PLAXICO BURRESS.

567. HE'S A MILLION DOLLAR PRISONER

568. ATHLETE.

569. OKAY, THIS ONE'S REALLY HARD TO

570. TELL.

571. ATHLETE.

572. DON'T YOU RECOGNIZE THE RIGHT

573. GUARD FOR THE RAIDERS, ROBERT

574. GALLERY?

575. ALTHOUGH, TO BE FAIR, I ASSUME

576. EVERYONE ON THE RAIDERS IS SOME

577. SORT OF CRIMINAL.

578. ALL RIGHT, THIS LAST ONE IS

579. EASY.

580. A SWASTIKA?

581. THIS IS CLEARLY A PRISONER.

582. NOPE.

583. TURNS OUT IT'S TENNIS GREAT ANDY

584. RODDICK.

585. YEP.

586. ANDY RODDICK HAS A SWASTIKA

587. TATTOO ON HIS FOREHEAD.

588. YOU'D THINK THEY WOULD HAVE

589. PICKED UP ON THAT DURING THE

590. WIMBLEDON COVERAGE, BUT NOPE.

591. THAT'S PROBABLY WHY HE KEEPS HIS

592. HAT SO LOW DURING THE GAME, SO

593. THAT YOU'RE NOT DISTRACTED BY

594. HIS SWASTIKA TATTOO.

595. CAN YOU TELL IT'S FAKE?

596. I HAVE TO SAY THAT AT SOME

597. POINT.

598. AND THAT DOES IT FOR PRISONER OR

599. MILLION DOLLAR ATHLETE?

600. HEY, IF YOU HAVE A VIDEO, GO TO

601. OUR BLOG AND UPLOAD IT FOR A

602. CHANCE TO BE OUR VIEWER VIDEO OF

603. THE WEEK.

604. THIS WEEK'S WINNER COMES TO US

605. FROM JARLSLAU PETROAWSKI.

606. SOME DUDE IN POLAND.

607. KEEP 'EM COMING, POLAND.

608. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE

609. CROSS-BALLS.

610. WELCOME BACK.

611. MMM, BABY "V."

612. NEXT WEEK, THE REPORTER WHO

613. CAN'T BREAK A WINDOW GETS A WEB

614. REDEMPTION.

615. IT TAKES A CAR PROWLER JUST A

616. MATTER OF SECONDS TO GET INTO

617. YOUR VEHICLE.

618. ALL THEY NEED IS A HAMMER AND

619. MAKE SURE NO ONE'S AROUND.

620. WHAT'S THE PROBLEM HERE?

621. THAT'S WHY THE WHITES DON'T

622. STEAL.

623. THEY'RE TERRIBLE AT IT.

624. HEY, MAKE SURE YOU FOLLOW ME ON

625. TWITTER SO WE CAN LIVE CHAT

626. DURING THE SHOWS, KEEP UP WITH

627. OUR DAILY BLOG OVER AT

628. COMEDYCENTRAL.COM/TOSH.0, AND

629. MAKE SURE YOU COME SEE ME ON THE

630. TOSH 2010.

631. TICKETS ARE AVAILABLE.

632. THIS CANNOT BE TRUE!

633. YOU CAN ALSO WATCH FULL EPISODES

634. OF TOSH.0 ON FLO TV LIVE MOBILE

635. TELEVISION, THE WAY IT WAS MEANT

636. TO BE SEEN.

637. BEFORE WE GO, HERE'S MY REACTION

638. TO A VIDEO THAT THEY WOULDN'T

639. LET US PUT ON THE AIR LAST

640. SEASON.

641. NOTICE HOW DIFFERENT MY REACTION

642. IS COMPARED TO EVERYONE ELSE'S.

643. IF YOU CAN GUESS WHAT WE'RE

644. WATCHING, YOU AND 16 OF YOUR

645. CLOSEST FRIENDS WILL FLY FIRST

646. CLASS.

647. NOW, NORMALLY, THERE'S ONLY

648. ABOUT EIGHT FIRST CLASS SEATS ON

649. A PLANE, SO IT WILL PROBABLY BE

650. MULTIPLE FLIGHTS.

651. BUT WE'LL FLY YOU ROUND-TRIP TO

652. LAS VEGAS FOR A THREE-DAY,

653. FOUR-NIGHT STAY.

654. THAT MEANS AROUND 6:00 A.M.,

655. THEY WILL WAKE YOU UP AND BE

656. LIKE, "HEY, YOU GOTTA GET OUT.

657. DAY'S COMIN'."

658. AT CIRCUS CIRCUS.

659. NOW, INCIDENTALS ARE NOT

660. COVERED, SO YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO

661. BRING A VALID CREDIT CARD.

662. SOME OF YOU ARE PROBABLY GOING,

663. "HEY, I ONLY HAVE A DEBIT CARD."

664. EW!

665. THAT'S NOT GONNA WORK.

666. THEY MIGHT HAVE TO PAY THE $500

667. DEPOSIT ON THAT.

668. YOU'LL GET THAT BACK AFTER

669. CHECKOUT.

670. WHAT THE?

671. GO TO OUR BLOG AND MAKE YOUR

672. GUESS.

673. I'LL GIVE YOU ONE HINT.

674. THERE IS ZERO CHANCE FOR A WEB

675. REDEMPTION.

676. SEE YOU NEXT WEEK.

677. GOOD NIGHT.