Tosh.0 2x22

1. OH!

2. OH, MY GOD!

3. HEY, AT LEAST HE STAYED DRY.

4. WELCOME TO TOSH.0.

5. IT'S WEIRD TO THINK THAT I'M

6. WATCHING THIS AT HOME RIGHT NOW.

7. HELLO, FUTURE ME.

8. TONIGHT ON THE TV SHOW, I GO

9. CAMPING WITH THE DOUBLE RAINBOW

10. GUY, I MEET MY EXACT OPPOSITE,

11. AND I TELL YOU HOW MUCH MONEY

12. CELEBRITIES HAVE.

13. ALL RIGHT.

14. LET'S MAKE FUN OF THAT AWFUL

15. PIRATE AGAIN.

16. WAS THAT SNAP FROM THE BRANCH OR

17. HIS LEG?

18. HE'LL BE FINE, ONCE HE STOPS

19. BANGING INTO THE CLIFFS.

20. THAT'S WHY, KIDS, IT'S ALWAYS

21. SAFER TO PUT THE ROPE AROUND

22. YOUR NECK.

23. THAT'S JUST A LITTLE TIP FROM

24. YOUR UNCLE DANIEL.

25. READY TO WATCH A SEX TAPE?

26. HEADS UP!

27. IT'S REALLY GROSS BECAUSE THE

28. GUY'S, LIKE, 100 YEARS OLDER

29. THAN SHE IS.

30. WOW.

31. GET A TERRARIUM, YOU TWO.

32. IT'S A BAD SIGN IF HE'S DOING

33. ALL THE WOWING.

34. THEY SHOULD SPICE THINGS UP

35. AND FLIP HER OVER.

36. BUT THEN SHE WOULD DIE.

37. BECAUSE SHE WOULD GET SUNBURNED.

38. AND SHE CAN'T EAT.

39. SOMEONE HELP HER!

40. SHE'S BEEN GETTING RAPED FOR

41. OVER SIX MONTHS.

42. IT'D BE NICE IF HE PULLED OUT

43. AND PUT A FRESH COAT OF TURTLE

44. WAX ON HER.

45. WANT TO SEE THE FASTEST KID IN

46. THE WORLD?

47. HOME SCHOOL TRACK MEETS SUCK.

48. WHAT IS THAT?

49. OH, YEAH!

50. WHAT IS THAT?

51. WHOO!

52. THAT IS NOT THE MOST

53. AERODYNAMIC HAIRDO.

54. WHY DON'T YOU SEE HOW FAST YOU

55. CAN RUN TO FANTASTIC SAM'S?

56. I HAD NO IDEA THAT WAS THE WORLD

57. RECORD.

58. I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN DO ANY

59. BETTER.

60. 12 MILES PER HOUR IS INSANE.

61. 12 MILES PER HOUR IS INSANE. I'LL GIVE IT A SHOT.

62. I'LL GIVE IT A SHOT.

63. YOU KNOW WHY I BEAT IT?

64. BECAUSE YOU GUYS NEED ME TO BEAT

65. IT.

66. WATCH YOUR BACK, HUSSEIN.

67. EVEN STRIP CLUBS ARE OUTSOURCING

68. THESE DAYS.

69. TONIGHT ON THE MAIN STAGE, GIVE

70. IT UP FOR SAMIR.

71. PUNJAH!

72. ARE YOU FELLAS ROCK HARD OUT

73. THERE?

74. I HOPE YOU ARE.

75. LET'S PUT 20 SECONDS ON THE

76. CLOCK AND SEE HOW MANY SEXY

77. COMMENTS WE CAN MAKE.

78. ALL RIGHT.

79. QUIT SHOWING OFF AND HELP ME FIX

80. MY DELL.

81. HE'S JUST DOING THAT TO PUT

82. HIMSELF THROUGH COLLEGE.

83. OH, MAN.

84. I HOPE THIS GETS HIM OUT OF THE

85. SLUMS OF MUMBAI.

86. WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE?

87. THE PROBLEM WITH THAT STRIP CLUB

88. IS, YOU ALWAYS COME HOME REEKING

89. OF CURRY.

90. I WOULDN'T MIND STUFFING A FEW

91. RUPEES INTO THAT GUY'S HOT

92. PANTS.

93. YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD MAKE THIS

94. EVEN BETTER?

95. HOT, NAKED WHITE CHICKS.

96. THIS NEXT ONE GOES OUT TO THE

97. LADY OUT THERE.

98. AN AUDIENCE OF ONE.

99. THIS MUST BE A GOOD CHARLOTTE

100. CONCERT.

101. THAT'S WHY YOU GET INTO ROCK AND

102. ROLL.

103. FOR THE ROAD BEEF.

104. THIS JUST WENT FROM A SHOW TO A

105. PRACTICE.

106. THAT'S GONNA HURT MERCH SALES.

107. AT LEAST THEY GET TO HAVE SEX

108. WITH HER NOW.

109. THIS NEXT VIDEO SHOWS WHY BOYS

110. ARE SO POPULAR IN THAILAND.

111. 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 —

112. YOU COULDN'T PAY ME TO PUT MY

113. WIENER ANYWHERE NEAR THAT BEAR

114. TRAP.

115. LAY OFF THE CANDY, YOU TWO.

116. THERE'S OBVIOUSLY NO DENTAL PLAN

117. IN THE WHORING BUSINESS.

118. THE ONE ON THE RIGHT MIGHT BE A

119. MAN.

120. I'M POSITIVE THE ONE ON THE LEFT

121. IS.

122. PEOPLE FORGET THE GOOD PARTS

123. ABOUT NAM.

124. IT'S IMPORTANT TO STRETCH BEFORE

125. YOU GIVE A BJ.

126. THAT WAS A FUN GAME. NOW GO

127. SOME STRANGERS.

128. ALL RIGHT.

129. WHAT'S NEXT?

130. I THINK WE CAN ALL AGREE THAT

131. WAS HER FAULT.

132. I THOUGHT ONLY COPS WERE ALLOWED

133. TO HIT WOMEN.

134. IT'S DECISION TIME.

135. LET'S SEE IF IT'S FIGHT OR

136. FLIGHT IN THIS WEEK'S BREAKDOWN.

137. NICE JACKET.

138. HE'S EITHER A FIGHTER PILOT OR

139. AN A-HOLE.

140. A-HOLE.

141. THAT'S WHY MEN SHOULDN'T TALK

142. WITH THEIR HANDS.

143. MOMENT OF TRUTH.

144. DEFEND THE LADY'S HONOR, OR RUN

145. AND CALL HER LATER TO SEE HOW IT

146. WENT?

147. OH, HE FLIPS THE SWITCH FROM

148. BOYFRIEND TO JASON STATHAM.

149. W DIDN'T RESPOND THIS FAST ON

150. 9/11.

151. IF IT WERE ME, I WOULD JUST

152. APOLOGIZE FOR HER CLUMSINESS.

153. REMEMBER, IT DOESN'T MEAN I

154. DON'T LOVE YOU.

155. IT JUST MEANS I'M LAZY AND A

156. PUSSY.

157. I LIKE HIS STYLE.

158. PUNCH FIRST, ASK QUESTIONS

159. LATER.

160. HA HA, YOUR PANTS ARE FALLING

161. DOWN.

162. THE KEY TO FIGHTING TWO GUYS AT

163. ONCE IS TO BE MUCH TOUGHER THAN

164. BOTH OF THEM.

165. AND ISN'T IT JUST LIKE A WOMAN

166. TO WATCH AND NOT DO ANYTHING?

167. YOU GOT US INTO THIS MESS.

168. NOW GET YOUR HANDS DIRTY AND

169. START SWINGING THAT PURSE

170. AROUND.

171. THIS GUY'S TESTOSTERONE LEVELS

172. MUST BE OFF THE CHARTS.

173. I FEEL LIKE A MAN WHEN I GET THE

174. TOILET TO STOP RUNNING.

175. IF WE'VE LEARNED ANYTHING HERE,

176. IT'S NEVER HIT A WOMAN — THAT'S

177. DATING A BOXER.

178. CHIVALRY IS NOT DEAD, BUT THESE

179. TWO DUDES MIGHT BE, AND FOR

180. THAT, WE THANK YOU.

181. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH THE

182. DOUBLE RAINBOW GUY, BUT FIRST,

183. BE CAREFUL WHEN YOU'RE USING THE

184. ZOOM-IN FEATURE ON BANANA

185. REPUBLIC'S WEBSITE.

186. YOU MIGHT GET EIGHT INCHES MORE

187. THAN YOU BARGAINED FOR.

188. OH, MY GOD, IT'S FULL ON!

189. DOUBLE RAINBOW ALL THE WAY

190. ACROSS THE SKY!

191. WHOO!

192. OH, WOW!

193. THIS IS, MMM!

194. OH, IT'S SO BRIGHT!

195. OH, MY GOD, IT'S SO BRIGHT AND

196. VIVID.

197. OH!

198. OH!

199. GOD, IT'S A DOUBLE COMPLETE

200. RAINBOW.

201. OH, RIGHT IN THE FRONT YARD.

202. OH, MY GOD!

203. SOUNDS LIKE HE JUST CLIMAXED

204. ALL THE WAY ACROSS THE SKY.

205. THAT'S PAUL AKA YOSEMITE BEAR,

206. AND SURE, HE WAS A SMIDGE

207. EMOTIONAL ABOUT THAT RAINBOW,

208. BUT WHEN YOU LIVE IN A TENT,

209. EVERYTHING'S IMPRESSIVE.

210. WHAT DOES A DOUBLE RAINBOW MEAN?

211. UH, IT MEANS THAT THE SUNLIGHT

212. ENTERED TINY DROPS OF WATER AND

213. GOT REFLECTED AT DIFFERENT

214. ANGLES BASED ON WAVELENGTH,

215. CREATING A SEPARATION OF

216. SUNLIGHT INTO THE VISIBLE

217. SPECTRUM.

218. TIMES TWO.

219. UHH!

220. IT'S NOT A MIRACLE.

221. I CAN DO THE SAME THING WITH A

222. HOSE.

223. NATURE IS BEAUTIFUL, AND THE

224. BEST WAY TO ENJOY IT IS TO BUY

225. PLANET EARTH ON BLU-RAY.

226. IT'S DANGEROUS OUTSIDE.

227. I'VE SEEN INTO THE WILD.

228. THAT JERK SHOULD HAVE JUST

229. STAYED WITH THAT UNDERAGED

230. GIRLWHO DIDN'T SHAVE HER BUSH.

231. THE WOODS ARE WHERE PEOPLE GET

232. MURDERED.

233. INSTEAD OF ALL THESE NATIONAL

234. PARKS, LET'S CUT SOME TREES DOWN

235. SO I CAN BUILD MY PALATIAL

236. MANSION.

237. AND IF THE OCEANS ARE SO

238. AMAZING, WHY DO CRUISE SHIPS

239. HAVE CASINOS, NIGHTCLUBS, AND 12

240. POOLS ON THEM?

241. I'LL TELL YOU WHAT'S BETTER THAN

242. WATCHING THE SUNRISE.

243. SLEEPING THROUGH IT.

244. I'M NOT IN AWE OF MOTHER NATURE.

245. THAT OLD BITCH IS TRYING TO KILL

246. US.

247. I SAY, FIGHT GLOBAL WARMING WITH

248. CENTRAL AIR CONDITIONING.

249. WHO CARES IF WE RUN OUT OF

250. WATER?

251. I'LL DRINK LEMONADE.

252. CLEARLY, I NEED SOMEONE TO

253. EXPLAIN THE WONDERS OF NATURE TO

254. ME.

255. THAT'S WHY I COATED MYSELF WITH

256. DEEP WOODS OFF AND ASKED THIS

257. TREE-HUGGER TO TAKE ME CAMPING

258. SOMEWHERE OVER THE RAINBOW IN

259. OUR FIRST EVE WEB RETREAT.

260. OUR FIRST EVE WEB RETREAT.

261. YOSEMITE BEAR.

262. WHOA.

263. NICE TO MEET YOU, DANIEL.

264. AH, I KNEW YOU COULDN'T

265. RESIST TASTING THE RAINBOW.

266. COME ON IN.

267. THANK YOU.

268. TELL ME ABOUT THAT DAY THAT

269. YOU SAW THE DOUBLE RAINBOW.

270. WELL, I WAS INSIDE MY HOUSE,

271. AND I LOOKED OUTSIDE, AND THERE

272. WAS ALL THIS COLOR, AND MY

273. CAMERA WAS ON MY COFFEE TABLE,

274. AND SO I JUST GRABBED IT AND I

275. WALKED OUTSIDE, AND BASICALLY

276. THAT'S WHAT YOU SEE IS THE

277. REACTION.

278. I'M WALKING OUT MY FRONT DOOR

279. WHEN THAT VIDEO STARTS.

280. AND THEN THE QUESTION THAT

281. EVERYONE WANTS TO KNOW IS, UH,

282. WERE YOU HIGH?

283. FOR THAT VIDEO, ABSOLUTELY

284. NOT.

285. I WAS JUST — I WAS HOME BY

286. MYSELF, AND I WAS NOT HIGH AT

287. ALL.

288. AN HOUR BEFORE THAT, WERE YOU

289. HIGH?

290. NO, I HADN'T BEEN HIGH AT ALL

291. THAT DAY.

292. WERE YOU AMAZED AT HOW

293. POPULAR THIS VIDEO GOT?

294. UH, NOT REALLY.

295. I MEAN, I KIND OF KNEW THAT IT

296. WAS SOMETHING SPECIAL RIGHT FROM

297. THE BEGINNING.

298. I READ SOMEWHERE THAT YOU

299. LIVE OFF $5,000 A YEAR.

300. I HAVEN'T WORKED IN A LONG

301. TIME, AND WHEN YOU'RE FORCED TO

302. LIVE ON VERY LITTLE WATER, AND

303. YOU DON'T HAVE RENT AND YOU

304. DON'T HAVE A CAR PAYMENT, YOU

305. START TO REALIZE THAT THERE'S A

306. LOT OF THINGS THAT YOU DON'T

307. NEED.

308. ALL RIGHT, TELL ME ABOUT SOME

309. OF YOUR JOBS.

310. UH, SO I WORK FOR THE L.A.

311. COUNTY FIRE DEPARTMENT.

312. I FLEW IN HELICOPTERS TO FIGHT

313. FIRES.

314. I WORKED IN YOSEMITE.

315. I WAS ALSO A CAGE FIGHTER.

316. CAGE FIGHTING?

317. YEAH.

318. I'M SHOCKED TO HEAR THAT YOU

319. ACTUALLY LIKE TO HAND-TO-HAND

320. COMBAT FIGHT PEOPLE.

321. OH, YOU'D BE SURPRISED.

322. IT'S A REALLY PLEASURABLE,

323. INTENSE FEELING.

324. I'LL STICK TO MASTURBATING.

325. OKAY.

326. OH, HAS THAT VIDEO, UH,

327. HELPED YOU WITH THE LADIES?

328. NOT AT ALL.

329. THERE'S ALWAYS BEEN TONS OF

330. LADIES THAT COME AND WORK ON MY

331. FARM.

332. THEY'RE CALLED WOOFERS.

333. THEY'RE CALLED WOOFERS?

334. YEAH.

335. IT'S A PROGRAM CALLED WORLDWIDE

336. OPPORTUNITIES ON ORGANIC FARMS.

337. I ASSUMED, LIKE, YOU AND

338. THREE GUYS JUST INVENTED THIS

339. SITE.

340. NO.

341. DO YOU CRY OFTEN?

342. I CRY ALL THE TIME.

343. DOUBLE COMPLETE RAINBOW.

344. WHAT'S THE LAST MOVIE THAT

345. MADE YOU CRY?

346. OH, I CRIED LAUGHING AT THAT

347. RED QUEEN FROM ALICE IN

348. WONDERLAND.

349. "OFF WITH HER HEAD!"

350. I ATE A BROWNIE.

351. OH, YOU ATE A BROWNIE.

352. AND I CONNECTED WITH THAT RED

353. QUEEN.

354. ALL RIGHT, WELL, I REALLY

355. WANT TO SEE THE WORLD THROUGH

356. YOUR EYES, UH, SO IF YOU DON'T

357. MIND, I'D LIKE TO JOIN YOU ON A

358. RETREAT.

359. OH, I'M ALREADY TIRED.

360. YOU LOOK GREAT.

361. THANK YOU.

362. I JUST BOUGHT ALL THIS STUFF.

363. YEAH, YOU CAN TELL.

364. UH, GUESS WHAT ELSE I GOT?

365. HUH?

366. OH, PSYCHEDELICS.

367. YES.

368. SOME MAGIC 'SHROOMS TO ENHANCE

369. OUR EXPERIENCE TODAY OUT HERE

370. WITH MOTHER NATURE.

371. LET'S GO COMMUNE.

372. OH, IT TASTES LIKE.

373. WHAT A BEAUTIFUL RAINBOW!

374. FULL ON, ALL THE WAY ACROSS THE

375. SKY.

376. LET'S FIND OUT WHAT'S AT THE END

377. OF IT.

378. I'M THERE.

379. YOU EVER FIND A FOUR-LEAF

380. CLOVER?

381. NOT — NOT YET, BUT I THINK

382. IF I ASKED FOR ONE, ONE WOULD

383. APPEAR.

384. UHH!

385. WHAT A RELIEF.

386. MAN!

387. OH, I GUESS I SHOULD BE

388. UPSTREAM.

389. THAT'D BE WISE.

390. YOU'RE RIGHT.

391. NATURE IS GREAT.

392. I JUST FOUND SOME MARIJUANA BACK

393. THERE.

394. I'M NOT SURE THAT'S

395. MARIJUANA.

396. OH, YOU LET ME BE THE JUDGE

397. OF THAT, MY FRIEND.

398. OH, YOU MIGHT HAVE BEEN RIGHT.

399. I THINK THAT WAS POISON IVY.

400. UHH!

401. YOU GOT ANY LIP BALM?

402. BEAR, I THINK I'M STUCK.

403. I'LL GO GET HELP.

404. NO, NO, NO.

405. I'M GONNA HAVE TO CUT IT OFF.

406. I DON'T WANT THESE MUSHROOMS TO

407. FADE OR THAT RAINBOW TO

408. DISAPPEAR.

409. ARE YOU READY?

410. YEP, LET'S GO.

411. LET'S GO.

412. I AM SO HUNGRY.

413. THERE IT IS, OVER THERE.

414. RELAX, PULL BACK.

415. ASK FOR PERMISSION.

416. MAY I ING KILL YOU.

417. AAH!

418. LET'S EAT.

419. LOOK AT IT.

420. IT LOOKS LIKE IT'S LEADING US

421. INTO THE CITY.

422. LET'S GO.

423. OH, IT'S LED US TO THE GAYEST

424. PLACE IN THE WORLD, WEST

425. HOLLYWOOD.

426. LOOK AT ALL THE RAINBOWS.

427. OUR QUADRUPLE RAINBOW SEEMS

428. TO BE ENDING IN THAT APARTMENT.

429. WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?

430. WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?

431. IT'S SO BRIGHT.

432. IT'S SO VIVID.

433. IT'S SO BRIGHT AND VIVID.

434. A FULL-ON QUADRUPLE RAINBOW

435. ACROSS THE SKY COMES TO US FROM

436. PEREZ HILTON'S ASS.

437. HEY, BOYS.

438. WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?

439. IT WAS SO NICE OF PEREZ HILTON

440. TO COME BY AND PRETEND HE WAS

441. GAY FOR THAT BIT.

442. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK, BUT BEFORE

443. WE GO, HERE IS THE FIRST AND

444. WE GO, HERE IS THE FIRST AND LAST EVER PATRON CHALLENGE.

445. LAST EVER PATRON CHALLENGE.

446. OH, MY GOD.

447. I HIT YOU.

448. I MET A 14-YEAR-OLD LAST

449. NIGHT THAT CHANGED MY LIFE!

450. THOSE WERE ASIANS, SO I OWE

451. EVERYONE A HAT!

452. CHECK IT OUT, MOFOS!

453. NEW DAVE MATTHEWS BAND!

454. NO ONE IN HERE IS GAY OR

455. MEXICAN, RIGHT?

456. HAVE YOU GUYS SEEN THE NEW

457. MAZDA?

458. OH, MY GOODNESS, YOU GUYS!

459. I JUST ATE 12 PEACHES!

460. GUESS WHO JUST SAW DAVID HYDE

461. PIERCE AT THE COFFEE BEAN.

462. I JUST FOUND OUT ONE OF THE

463. KFC'S SECRET INGREDIENTS IS

464. SALT!

465. WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT THIS NEW

466. NICHOLAS SPARKS BOOK!

467. LET'S ALL HAVE RED BULLS FOR

468. LUNCH!

469. NOW PLEASE POST YOUR OWN VIDEOS

470. OF THINGS YOU SHOULD NEVER RUN

471. INTO A ROOM AND YELL AND I WILL

472. MAKE YOU FAMOUS.

473. IT MAY NOT COME ACROSS IN THE

474. SHOW, BUT I AM VERY VAIN.

475. I GOOGLE MYSELF CONSTANTLY, AND

476. THE OTHER DAY, I FOUND MY EXACT

477. OPPOSITE.

478. HIS NAME IS TOSH DANIEL.

479. MY NAME IS DANIEL TOSH.

480. HE'S PITCH BLACK.

481. I'M PITCH WHITE.

482. HE'S FROM THE CARIBBEAN.

483. I'M FROM TITUSVILLE.

484. SO LET'S MEET HIM, LIVE VIA WEB

485. CHAT.

486. ALL THE WAY FROM ANTIGUA, PLEASE

487. WELCOME TOSH DANIEL.

488. THANKS FOR HAVING ME ON YOUR

489. SHOW, MR. DANIEL TOSH.

490. MY PLEASURE, TOSH DANIEL.

491. I HOPE I'M PRONOUNCING THAT

492. CORRECTLY.

493. UH, WHAT'S YOUR FULL NAME?

494. IT'S TOSH BLAISE ODARY

495. DANIEL.

496. YOU'RE ING WITH ME,

497. RIGHT?

498. MINE IS DANIEL ODARY BLAISE

499. TOSH.

500. YOU EVER SEEN MY SHOW?

501. NO.

502. THAT'S OKAY.

503. IT'S NOT THAT GREAT.

504. I KNOW.

505. ALL RIGHT.

506. NOW THAT I'VE BECOME WILDLY

507. SUCCESSFUL, HOW OFTEN DO YOU GET

508. MISTAKEN FOR ME?

509. NEVER GET MISTAKEN FOR YOU.

510. THAT'S WEIRD, BECAUSE I GET

511. MISTAKEN FOR YOU A COUPLE TIMES

512. A DAY.

513. YOU'RE PROBABLY NOT WEARING

514. ENOUGH DEEP VS.

515. NO, NO, NO.

516. THAT'S NOT MY STYLE.

517. HEY, YOU KNOW, IF WE GOT

518. MARRIED, ONE OF US WOULD EITHER

519. BE NAMED TOSH TOSH OR DANIEL

520. DANIEL.

521. WANT TO GIVE IT A SHOT?

522. NO.

523. NO.

524. AT LEAST SLEEP ON IT.

525. ALL RIGHT, TOSH, UH, THANKS FOR

526. TALKING TO ME.

527. UH, DON'T DO ANYTHING TO

528. EMBARRASS OUR NAME.

529. BIG UP, MY BROTHER.

530. BIG UP.

531. BUP BUP BUP BUP BUP.

532. UH, HEH HEH.

533. WHITE GUY MISSED.

534. ALL RIGHT.

535. DON'T FORGET TO GO TO OUR BLOG

536. AND UPLOAD A CLIP FOR A CHANCE

537. TO BE OUR VIEWER VIDEO.

538. THIS WEEK'S WINNER IS SENHORINA

539. DURAH.

540. HAH HAH HAH.

541. HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH.

542. HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH.

543. HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH.

544. HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH.

545. HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH.

546. HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH.

547. HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH.

548. HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH.

549. HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH.

550. HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH.

551. MY FAVORITE PART OF THAT

552. VIDEO IS WHEN SHE WAS IN SYDNEY

553. AND SHE GOES, "HAH."

554. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE

555. TOMMY SLEDGE, PI.

556. HAH!

557. AH, WELCOME BACK, YOU DUMB

558. HICKS.

559. UH, NEXT WEEK ON THE SHOW, THE

560. "I LIKE TURTLES" KID GETS A WEB

561. REDEMPTION.

562. JONATHAN JUST GOT AN AWESOME

563. FACE PAINT JOB.

564. WHAT DO YOU THINK?

565. I LIKE TURTLES.

566. I BET I KNOW WHAT HIS

567. FAVORITE VIDEO IS.

568. MAKE SURE YOU KEEP UP WITH OUR

569. DAILY BLOG AT

570. COMEDYCENTRAL.COM/TOSH.0 AND

571. COME SEE ME ON THE TOSH TOUR

572. 2010.

573. UH, AND PLEASE FOLLOW ME ON

574. TWITTER SO WE CAN LIVE CHAT

575. DURING THE SHOW.

576. UH, YOU CAN ALSO WATCH FULL

577. EPISODES OF TOSH.0 ON FLO TV

578. LIVE MOBILE TELEVISION.

579. AND FINALLY, I'M OBSESSED WITH A

580. NEW WEBSITE CALLED

581. CELEBRITYNETWORTH.COM.

582. YOU CAN TYPE IN ANY CELEBRITY,

583. AND IT TELLS YOU HOW MUCH MONEY

584. THEY HAVE.

585. ALL RIGHT.

586. WHO'S FIRST?

587. STEVE-O.

588. IF HE HAS OVER $50, I'M SHOCKED.

589. WHAT'S HIS CELEBRITY WORTH?

590. $2.5 MILLION.

591. WOW.

592. YEAH.

593. WHO'S NEXT?

594. BAM MARGERA.

595. GUYS, BOTTLE THAT RAGE.

596. NO WONDER JESSICA SIMPSON BANGED

597. HIM.

598. STUART SCOTT.

599. YOU MEAN, OLD LEFT EYE?

600. I ASSUME HE CAN'T SEE ALL OF HIS

601. CHECK.

602. $2 MILLION.

603. OH!

604. NOBODY TELL HIM.

605. MASTER P?

606. HE HASN'T DONE ANYTHING IN A

607. LONG TIME, BUT HE DID OWN A

608. GOLDEN ARMY TANK.

609. HOLD ON, I'M GONNA BE SICK.

610. THAT IS INSANITY!

611. OH!

612. THAT IS AN ODDLY SPECIFIC

613. NUMBER, TOO.

614. $661 MILLION?

615. ALL RIGHT.

616. LET'S FIND OUT HOW MUCH SUGE

617. KNIGHT'S WORTH.

618. NOW I ASSUME, WHEN HE'S SHAKING

619. PEOPLE OVER THE BALCONY, IT'S

620. LIKE, "HEY, DID ANYTHING FALL

621. OUT?"

622. HUGH HEFNER.

623. I'M GONNA SAY HE'S WORTH $45

624. MILLION.

625. THAT'LL BUY YOU PLENTY OF

626. VIAGRA.

627. OKAY, LARRY FLYNT.

628. IF HEF IS WORTH $43 MILLION, I'M

629. GONNA SAY LARRY FLYNT IS IN THE

630. BALLPARK OF $25 MILLION.

631. I GUESS THAT PROVES THAT SOFT

632. PORN DOESN'T PAY AS WELL AS

633. WATCHING SOMEONE GET PEED ON.

634. LESSON LEARNED, AMERICA.

635. DANIEL TOSH.

636. I THINK THE SHOCKING PART IS

637. THAT I MADE THE LIST.

638. $400,000 IN THE RED!

639. BY THE WAY, THERE'S GOOD DEBT

640. AND BAD DEBT.

641. CURRENTLY, I'M UPSIDE DOWN ON A

642. MORTGAGE.

643. PROBABLY DOESN'T HELP THAT A HOT

644. GIRL FLIES ME TO MEXICO TO

645. INVEST IN HER FAMILY'S TEQUILA

646. BUSINESS EITHER.

647. NEXT TIME, I'M SAYING, "NO,

648. GRACIAS."

649. GO TO OUR BLOG TO SEE THE ONES

650. THAT WE DIDN'T HAVE TIME FOR.

651. SEE YOU NEXT WEEK.

652. GOOD NIGHT.