Tosh.0 2x21

1. I AM DEFINITELY SMARTER THAN

2. THAT FIFTH GRADER.

3. WELCOME TO TOSH.0.

4. THIS SHOW IS 93% CACAO.

5. YEAH, MANY OF YOU CLAIM THAT'S

6. TOO MUCH CACAO.

7. I BEG TO DIFFER.

8. THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS TOO

9. MUCH CACAO.

10. PERHAPS YOUR PALATE ISN'T

11. SOPHISTICATED ENOUGH TO HANDLE

12. MY BRAND OF HUMOR CACAO.

13. TONIGHT ON THE SHOW, THE

14. AMERICAN IDOL GIRLS GET A WEB

15. REDEMPTION.

16. I GET DOWN AND DIRTY WITH GAY

17. PEOPLE IN UGANDA, AND I SPREAD

18. YOUR OFFICE RUMORS.

19. NOW LETS FIND OUT WHY YOU SHOULD

20. NEVER LET YOUR KIDS EAT COOKIE

21. CRISPS FOR BREAKFAST.

22. GET YOUR HEAD OFF THE DESK!

23. PROOF THAT AMERICA'S EDUCATION

24. SYSTEM IS FINE.

25. CAN I BE EXCUSED?

26. I NEED TO GO GET AN MRI.

27. BRETT FAVRE IS MAKING EVERYONE

28. CRAZY.

29. HERE'S THE GREATEST FUNERAL

30. PROCESSION EVER.

31. I'D JUMP OUT, TOO, IF I HAD TO

32. LISTEN TO

33. ONE MORE TIME.

34. OH.

35. I LIKE THAT THE GUY IN A

36. MERCEDES IS SHOWING OFF FOR A

37. LESBIAN IN A SUBARU.

38. GOOD LUCK CHASING DOWN YOUR CAR

39. ON FOOT.

40. IT DOES MAKE SENSE, THOUGH.

41. THAT GUY'S NEVER BEEN SICK, HE

42. CAN BENCH-PRESS ALL THE WEIGHTS

43. AND PAINT CANS IN HIS HOUSE.

44. HE IS UNBREAKABLE.

45. NOBODY PUTS THESE BABIES IN A

46. CORNER.

47. I DON'T SEE NOTHIN' WRONG WITH A

48. LITTLE BUMP AND GRIND.

49. OKAY, ACTUALLY, I DO.

50. LET'S PUT 20 SECONDS ON THE

51. CLOCK AND SEE HOW MANY FUNNY

52. COMMENTS WE CAN MAKE.

53. OH, THAT IS HOW YOU GET

54. FULL-BLOWN COOTIES.

55. DOES TROJAN MAKE MINI-MAGNUMS?

56. PUERTO RICO'S SADIE HAWKINS

57. DANCE IS INTENSE.

58. THAT IS ONE DIRTY PRINCESS.

59. I THOUGHT STEP UP 3D WAS GONNA

60. SUCK.

61. WHO'S CHAPERONING THIS DANCE,

62. DINA LOHAN?

63. THIS IS A B.E.T. SPIN-OFF,

64. ELEMENTARY SCHOOL MUSICAL.

65. LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S GETTING

66. PLAY DATE-RAPED.

67. LATER IN THAT VIDEO, HE GIVES

68. HER A HOT LUNCHABLE.

69. WHATEVER.

70. YOU'RE ALL ON A LIST FOR HAVING

71. SEEN THAT VIDEO NOW.

72. YOU GUYS WANT TO SEE THE CUTEST

73. KOI POND EVER?

74. I ASSUME THIS IS SOME SORT OF

75. GAME SHOW OVER THERE.

76. "BOBBING FOR BABIES!"

77. IS IT RACIST IF I CAN'T TELL HER

78. EYES ARE OPEN OR NOT?

79. IS IT?

80. IS IT?

81. IT IS!

82. IT IS!

83. I'M BEING TOLD BY THE AUDIENCE

84. THAT, YES, IN FACT, IT IS

85. RACIST.

86. FINE.

87. WHAT KEEPS THE BABY CALM IS THE

88. LACK OF BLOOD GETTING TO HER

89. BRAIN.

90. THIS IS THE ANCIENT CHINESE

91. SECRET THEY'VE BEEN KEEPING FROM

92. US.

93. I'M IN.

94. HOW DO YOU THINK I GOT INTO THAT

95. TUB?

96. THAT WAS NOT SAFE.

97. JUST BECAUSE YOU DON'T HAVE

98. LAKEFRONT PROPERTY DOESN'T MEAN

99. YOU CAN'T ENJOY WATER SPORTS.

100. I THINK HE'S SAYING,"FASTER."

101. WHOA!

102. HE'S DOWN.

103. TURN BACK.

104. HE SHOULD HAVE LOOKED STARBOARD.

105. AT LEAST HE DIED DOING THE

106. DUMBEST THING THEY COULD COME UP

107. WITH THAT DAY.

108. KIDS, ALWAYS WEAR YOUR LIFE

109. PRESERVERS.

110. I DON'T CARE.

111. YOU LIKE APPLES?

112. HOW DO YOU LIKE THEM APPLES?

113. OH, THAT DUDE IS APPLE-JACKED.

114. HE'S BEEN JUICIN'.

115. THAT'S HOW YOU WORK OUT YOUR

116. CORE.

117. HE SHOULD STOP WORKING OUT AND

118. GET THAT MOLE CHECKED.

119. IT CAN BE DANGEROUS.

120. IT'S PRETTY IMPRESSIVE.

121. I CAN ONLY IMAGINE WHAT THESE

122. GUNS COULD DO.

123. WHEN YOU HAVE 111/4 INCH

124. PYTHONS, NOTHING GETS IN YOUR

125. WAY.

126. I HAVE TO TELL YOU, I'VE SEEN A

127. LOT OF GROSS STUFF ON THE SHOW,

128. BUT NOTHING IS QUITE AS

129. DISTURBING AS THIS NEXT VIDEO.

130. YEAH.

131. SHOW ME A VIDEO WITH A SWORD,

132. AND I AM IN.

133. ALL RIGHT, LET'S SLICE THIS

134. VIDEO OPEN IN THIS WEEK'S

135. BREAKDOWN.

136. FIRST, LET ME POINT OUT, THIS

137. PLACE IS A HOLE.

138. WOULD IT KILL YOU TO SPRAY A

139. LITTLE FEBREZE?

140. WHATEVER HAPPENED TO THE GOOD

141. OLD DAYS WHEN A SWORD FIGHT

142. AMONGST FRIENDS JUST INVOLVED

143. SLAPPING EACH OTHER WITH YOUR

144. MEAT IN THE WOODS?

145. NOW, REMEMBER, NEVER BE THE

146. VOLUNTEER.

147. ALWAYS BE THE GUY WITH THE

148. SWORD.

149. AND WHY IS HE WEARING ALL WHITE?

150. DID HE JUST COME FROM THE

151. QUARTERFINALS OF WIMBLEDON?

152. AT LEAST IT'S BEFORE LABOR DAY.

153. IT'S A BAD SIGN THAT NO ONE HERE

154. IS ASIAN.

155. BUT AS LONG AS HE HOLDS THAT CAN

156. STEADY, NOTHING COULD POSSIBLY

157. GO WRONG.

158. OH!

159. OH, YOU GOT MY WRIST!

160. HE MIGHT HAVE NICKED HIM.

161. HOPE THAT'S NOT HIS WHACK-OFF

162. HAND.

163. I'M AMBIDEXTROUS.

164. OH, THAT IS A GUSHER.

165. LOOKS LIKE HE'S DONATING A QUART

166. OF BLOOD TO THAT FLOOR.

167. THEY ARE DEFINITELY GONNA LOSE

168. THEIR SECURITY DEPOSIT.

169. DOES ANYONE HAVE STAIN STICK?

170. HOLY!

171. YEAH.

172. NO, A DIRTY RAG SHOULD HEAL

173. THIS.

174. THANKS, NOSTRADAMUS.

175. I THINK IT WAS A GREAT IDEA, AND

176. FOR THAT, WE THANK YOU.

177. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH THE

178. AMERICAN IDOL GIRLS' WEB

179. REDEMPTION.

180. THE WINNER BY

181. 12 MILLION VOTES OF AMERICAN

182. IDOL 2008 IS DAVID COOK.

183. NO!

184. NO!

185. NO!

186. NO! NO!

187. NO!

188. WHY THE HECK DID YOU VOTE FOR

189. THAT LOSER?

190. WOMEN GETTING OVERLY

191. EMOTIONAL ABOUT STUFF THAT

192. DOESN'T MATTER?

193. COLOR ME SHOCKED.

194. THOSE ARE THE AMERICAN IDOL

195. GIRLS.

196. THEY DESPERATELY WANTED DAVID

197. ARCHULETA TO WIN AMERICAN IDOL,

198. BECAUSE LIKE MOST TEENAGE GIRLS,

199. WHAT THEY CARE ABOUT IS STUPID.

200. AMERICAN IDOL IS NOT ABOUT THE

201. MUSIC.

202. IT'S ONLY AROUND TO REMIND

203. PEOPLE TO DRINK COKE AND DRIVE

204. FORDS.

205. I LOVE WATCHING, BUT NOT FOUR

206. HOURS A WEEK.

207. IT HAS TO BE DVR'D.

208. THAT WAY I CAN JUST FAST-FORWARD

209. THROUGH EVERYONE AND GET TO

210. SIMON MAKING KIDS CRY.

211. THE SINGING'S EVEN DULL AT

212. THREE-TIMES SPEED.

213. WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN TO IDOL NOW

214. THAT STEVEN TYLER IS THE NEW

215. SIMON?

216. IT'S GONNA SUCK.

217. SIMON IS THE ONLY MAN ON

218. TELEVISION WHO CAN SUCCESSFULLY

219. WEAR A DEEPER "V" THAN ME.

220. AT LEAST HE KNEW WHEN TO QUIT.

221. KARA LAGUARDIA AIRPORT GOT

222. FIRED, SO I ASSUME SHE WILL JUST

223. GO BACK TO HER HOSTESS JOB AT

224. CHILI'S.

225. AND WHOSE BRILLIANT IDEA WAS IT

226. TO BRING ELLEN IN AS A JUDGE?

227. THE ONLY THING SHE'S LESS

228. QUALIFIED FOR IS STAND-UP

229. COMEDY.

230. I MISS PAULA.

231. AT LEAST THAT DRUGGED-OUT

232. NUTCASE COULD HOLD MY ATTENTION.

233. SURE, SHE BONED A CONTESTANT OR

234. TWO.

235. IT'S THE ENTERTAINMENT INDUSTRY.

236. THAT'S HOW YOU MAKE IT.

237. YOU THINK I GOT THIS SHOW

238. BECAUSE I'M FUNNY?

239. BUT THE REAL PROBLEM WITH

240. AMERICAN IDOL IS THE LACK OF

241. IDOLS.

242. THE ONLY TRUE SUPERSTAR THAT

243. SHOW HAS EVER PRODUCED IS THAT

244. GIANT, FAT GUY, WHAT'S-HIS-NAME,

245. KELLY CLARKSON.

246. THE SHOW SHOULD HAVE BEEN

247. CANCELLED WHEN TAYLOR HICKS WON.

248. IT'S EMBARRASSING.

249. SEEMS LIKE THE SOUL PATROL'S

250. BEEN OFF DUTY FOR A WHILE.

251. AND, CONTESTANTS, QUIT FREAKING

252. OUT WHEN YOU'RE TOLD YOU'RE

253. GOING TO HOLLYWOOD.

254. IT'S NOT BORA BORA.

255. THIS PLACE IS HORRIBLE.

256. DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MANY

257. HOMELESS PEOPLE AND TRANNY

258. WHORES LIVE HERE?

259. 400,000.

260. AT THE END OF THE DAY, THE

261. AMERICAN IDOL GIRLS WERE JUST

262. SOME KIDS WHO LET THE WRONG

263. DAVID WIN.

264. THAT'S WHY I TEXTED "VOTE" TO

265. 5701 IN THIS WEEK'S WEB

266. REDEMPTION.

267. ALL RIGHT.

268. WE HAVE NATALIE, NATALIE, AND

269. MADDIE FROM PITTSBURGH.

270. WHY SHOULD YOU GUYS GO TO

271. HOLLYWOOD FOR A WEB REDEMPTION?

272. OFF YOU GO THEN.

273. WELL, I'D REALLY LIKE TO MEET

274. DAVID ARCHULETA.

275. WE'RE PROBABLY THE BIGGEST

276. DAVID FANS, SO WE DESERVE THE

277. CHANCE.

278. I THINK WE SHOULD GO, BECAUSE

279. WE SHOULD HAVE A CHANCE TO

280. REDEEM OURSELVES FROM OUR VIDEO.

281. CHECK IT OUT, CHECK IT OUT,

282. CHECK IT OUT, CHECK IT OUT,

283. CHECK IT OUT.

284. CHECK IT OUT, CHECK IT OUT,

285. CHECK IT OUT, CHECK IT OUT,

286. CHECK IT OUT, CHECK IT OUT,

287. CHECK IT OUT, CHECK IT OUT,

288. CHECK IT OUT, CHECK IT OUT,

289. CHECK IT OUT, OKAY?

290. IN LIEU OF ANY REAL ADVICE, I

291. JUST WANT YOU TO TAKE NOTE THAT

292. MY STAPLES FINALLY TOOK.

293. I'M SKINNY!

294. HUH?

295. I WASN'T REALLY FEELIN' IT, BUT

296. YOU'RE ALL RIGHT IN MY BOOK.

297. WE GOT A HOT ONE TONIGHT, DAWG!

298. WELL, YOU LOOK WONDERFUL.

299. LISTEN, I DON'T REALLY KNOW WHAT

300. MY ROLE IS HERE.

301. AM I SUPPOSED TO BE MEAN LIKE

302. SIMON OR DUMB LIKE PAULA?

303. ANYWAY, I'M NOT THREATENED BY

304. YOU PHYSICALLY, SO IT'S A YES

305. FROM ME.

306. COULDN'T DISAGREE WITH YOU

307. MORE.

308. COME ON, DAWG.

309. EVERYTHING YOU SAY IS WRONG.

310. BUT YOU ONLY NEED TWO TO GET TO

311. HOLLYWOOD, SO, UH, HAVE A GOOD

312. TIME, GIRLS.

313. I'M RYAN SEACREST, AND

314. WELCOME TO THE RC COLA ROOM.

315. YOU GUYS LIKE RC?

316. IT'S THE BEST.

317. MM-HMM.

318. MM-HMM, DRINK, DRINK.

319. IT'S GOOD.

320. MMM!

321. ROHYPNOL.

322. HOW QUICKLY DID THAT VIDEO

323. BECOME POPULAR?

324. PRETTY QUICK.

325. 'CAUSE, LIKE, THE FIRST DAY I

326. PUT IT ON, IT WAS UP TO, LIKE,

327. 1,000 VIEWS IN, LIKE, 10

328. MINUTES.

329. HOW MANY TIMES DID YOU VOTE

330. EACH?

331. 72.

332. HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE TO VOTE

333. 72 TIMES?

334. A LONG TIME.

335. A WHILE.

336. DID YOU GET A LOT OF HATE

337. COMMENTS FROM DAVID COOK FANS?

338. UH, YEAH.

339. YEAH.

340. ONE PERSON TOLD US THAT WE

341. NEED TO BE SPANKED MORE.

342. EWW.

343. WAS THAT AN OLDER MAN?

344. SEEMS CREEPY.

345. SEEMS UNACCEPTABLE TO WRITE

346. THAT.

347. DID YOU KNOW PAULA USED TO MAKE

348. MUSIC?

349. YEAH.

350. OKAY, FINISH THIS LYRIC.

351. UM, WANT —

352. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE NOW?

353. JUSTIN BIEBER.

354. HE LOVES MEN.

355. THE JONAS BROTHERS.

356. THE JONAS BROTHERS?

357. THEY'RE ALL GAY, TOO.

358. NO.

359. NO.

360. NO?

361. NO.

362. ARE YOU GUYS READY TO HEAD

363. OVER TO THE IDOL STAGE TO MEET

364. DAVID ARCHULETA?

365. YEAH!

366. LET'S GO.

367. THIS —

368. — IS TOSH.0.

369. ARE YOU GUYS READY TO MEET DAVID

370. ARCHULETA?

371. NOT JUST YET.

372. FIRST, I WOULD LIKE TO TAKE A

373. FEW MINUTES TO WALK AROUND YOU,

374. LOOKING DOWN ON YOU, AS IF I'M

375. BETTER, ONLY BECAUSE I WAS

376. BLESSED WITH HEIGHT.

377. YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.

378. IF I CAN HAVE THE TWO NATALIES

379. TAKE A STEP BACK.

380. YOU'RE SAFE.

381. YOU'RE SAFE AS WELL, BUT I

382. WANTED YOU TO FEEL DIFFERENT.

383. ARE YOU GUYS READY TO MEET DAVID

384. ARCHULETA?

385. NOT SO FAST!

386. FIRST, LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT YOUR

387. JOURNEY TO HOLLYWOOD.

388. HAVE A GOOD TIME, GIRLS.

389. LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT YOUR

390. JOURNEY TO HOLLYWOOD.

391. WHAT A LONG ROAD IT HAS BEEN.

392. LET'S GET DOWN TO BUSINESS.

393. DIM THE LIGHTS.

394. ALL RIGHT, TURN THEM UP A LITTLE

395. BIT.

396. TOO FAR.

397. TURN THE — LET'S JUST TURN THE

398. LIGHTS OFF.

399. LET'S TURN THE LIGHTS COMPLETELY

400. OFF FOR THIS.

401. ARE YOU READY TO MEET DAVID

402. ARCHULETA?

403. YES.

404. BAD NEWS.

405. DAVID ARCHULETA IS NOT HERE.

406. BUT THAT'S WHAT LIFE IS ABOUT,

407. DISAPPOINTMENT.

408. BUT HE DID SEND YOU A GIFT, AND

409. I HAVE A MAP, AND ALL YOU HAVE

410. TO DO IS FIND IT AND THE GIFT IS

411. YOURS.

412. I DON'T THINK I'M READING THIS

413. MAP RIGHT.

414. THIS CAN'T BE RIGHT.

415. THIS DOESN'T MAKE SENSE.

416. WHY WOULD HE HAVE US COME ALL

417. THE WAY OUT HERE?

418. OH, THIS CAN'T BE GOOD.

419. DO YOU NEED ME TO SIGN FOR THAT?

420. GUESS NOT.

421. I DON'T THINK YOU GUYS SHOULD

422. LOOK IN THAT BOX.

423. WHAT'S IN THE BOX?

424. WHAT'S IN THE BOX?

425. WHAT'S IN THE BOX?

426. WHAT'S IN THE BOX?

427. WHAT'S IN THE BOX?

428. WHAT'S IN THE BOX?

429. WHAT'S IN THE BOX?

430. WHAT'S IN THE BOX?

431. WHAT'S IN THE BOX?

432. WHAT'S IN THE BOX?

433. WHAT'S IN THE BOX?

434. WHAT'S IN THE BOX?

435. JUST WALK AWAY.

436. WHAT'S IN THE BOX?

437. WHAT'S IN THE BOX?

438. SCREW IT.

439. GO LOOK.

440. ALL RIGHT.

441. ONE, TWO, THREE!

442. AAH!

443. GOD!

444. OH, MY GOSH!

445. OH, MY GOODNESS!

446. IS THAT DAVID ARCHULETA'S

447. HEAD?

448. IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!

449. YOU DIDN'T VOTE FOR ME ENOUGH!

450. YOU DIDN'T KNOW HE WAS

451. PREGNANT, DID YOU?

452. OH, MY GOODNESS!

453. THAT'S WHAT YOU GET — ENVY.

454. THAT'S YOUR SIN.

455. I'M STILL NOT SURE WE'RE AT THE

456. RIGHT PLACE.

457. I WANT TO THANK DAVID ARCHULETA

458. AND BRAD PITT FOR HELPING MAKE

459. THOSE LITTLE GIRLS' DREAMS COME

460. TRUE BY RE-CREATING A MOVIE

461. THEY'D NEVER HEARD OF.

462. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK, BUT FIRST,

463. WITH EVERYTHING IN THIS COUNTRY

464. TIED UP IN THE COURT SYSTEMS, I

465. THINK WE NEED A LITTLE MORE OF

466. THIS.

467. FREAK JUSTICE.

468. HO!

469. WHOA!

470. YOU ALL RIGHT?

471. YEAH.

472. I THINK YOU'RE GOING THE WRONG

473. WAY.

474. YOU'RE NOT USING THE CROSS

475. WALK.

476. A MAN'S ANUS IS LICKED LIKE

477. THIS, AND THEN WHAT HAPPENS,

478. EVEN POO-POO COMES OUT.

479. THE OTHER POO-POOS OUT, HUH?

480. AND THEN THEY EAT THE POO-POO.

481. THAT WAS FROM AN ANTI-GAY

482. PRESS CONFERENCE IN UGANDA.

483. APPARENTLY, THEY ARE LESS

484. TOLERANT OVER THERE, BUT FEAR

485. NOT, MY GAY BROTHERS.

486. WHENEVER THERE IS AN INJUSTICE

487. AGAINST OUR COMMUNITY, YOU CAN

488. GUARANTEE I WILL BE THERE TO ASK

489. THE TOUGH QUESTIONS.

490. I'VE TAKEN TIME TO DO A

491. LITTLE RESEARCH, TO KNOW WHAT

492. HOMOSEXUALS DO IN THE PRIVACY OF

493. THEIR BEDROOM.

494. SHOT IN THE DARK.

495. THEY WERE HUMPING EACH OTHER?

496. ONE OF THE THING THEY DO IS

497. CALLED ANAL "LEAKING," WHERE A

498. MAN'S ANUS IS "LEAKED."

499. OH, ANAL LICKING.

500. FOR A SECOND THERE, I THOUGHT

501. YOU SAID "ANAL LEAKING."

502. YOU HAVE TO ENUNCIATE.

503. LIKE THIS BY THE OTHER

504. PERSON.

505. LIKE ICE CREAM.

506. THANKS.

507. GUESS I'LL FINISH THIS LATER.

508. AND THEN WHAT HAPPENS, EVEN

509. POO-POO COMES OUT.

510. THE OTHER POO-POOS OUT, HUH?

511. AND THEN THEY EAT THE POO-POO.

512. THEY DO WHAT?

513. THEY EAT THE POO-POO.

514. I'M SORRY, ONCE AGAIN?

515. THEY EAT THE POO-POO.

516. IT MUST BE WHERE I'M SITTING,

517. BUT I CANNOT HEAR YOU.

518. WHAT DID YOU SAY ONE LAST TIME?

519. THEY EAT THE POO-POO.

520. I HEARD YOU THE FIRST TIME.

521. THE OTHER ONE THEY DO IS THEY

522. HAVE A SEX PRACTICE CALLED

523. FISTING, WHERE THEY INSERT THEIR

524. HAND INTO THE OTHER MAN'S HAND,

525. AND IT GOES ALL — INTO THE ANUS

526. ALL THE WAY.

527. COMMON MISCONCEPTION.

528. YOU GO IN LIKE THIS, THEN YOU

529. MAKE THE FIST.

530. YOU DON'T JUST START PUNCHING

531. SOMEONE IN THE BUTTHOLE.

532. AND IT IS SO PAINFUL, THEY

533. HAVE TO TAKE DRUGS.

534. YOU JUST DESCRIBED EVERY

535. SATURDAY NIGHT FOR THE PAST 16

536. YEARS FOR ME.

537. NOW, IF WE HAVE ANY CHILDREN,

538. PLEASE STEP OUT.

539. WAIT.

540. NOW THE CHILDREN HAVE TO LEAVE?

541. SO I'VE DONE RESEARCH.

542. THIS IS WHAT THEY DO.

543. NUMBER ONE, YOU CAN SEE A MAN

544. HERE, HAVING THE — SUCK THE

545. OTHER PERSON'S RECTUM, AND THE

546. OTHER PERSON IS POO-POOING, AND

547. THIS ONE IS EATING THE POO-POO

548. ALL OVER THE PLACE.

549. ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE THIS

550. SOUND BAD?

551. BECAUSE IT SOUNDS GREAT.

552. WE DO NOT WANT THIS SICKNESS.

553. THIS IS SICK, AND IT'S,

554. THEREFORE, DEVIANT.

555. WE DO NOT WANT IT.

556. DON'T KNOCK IT TILL YOU'VE

557. TRIED IT.

558. OH.

559. HE IS NOT GONNA BE A FAN OF THIS

560. WEEK'S VIEWER VIDEO.

561. IT COMES TO US FROM A PAIR OF

562. NUTS.

563. HEY!

564. HI.

565. YO QUIERO GAYO!

566. GAYO.

567. LOS GAYO, LA MAYONESE PARA LOS

568. GAYS.

569. I ALWAYS ORDER MY GAYO ON THE

570. SIDE.

571. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE

572. GERHARD REINKE'S WANDERLUST.

573. NEXT WEEK ON THE SHOW, I GO

574. CAMPING WITH THE DOUBLE RAINBOW

575. GUY.

576. DOUBLE RAINBOW ALL THE WAY

577. ACROSS THE SKY.

578. OH, MY GOD.

579. WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?

580. DO YOU KNOW WHERE DOUBLE

581. RAINBOWS COME FROM?

582. A UNICORN'S QUEEF.

583. KEEP UP WITH OUT DAILY BLOG AT

584. COMEDY CENTRAL.COM/TOSH.0, MAKE

585. SURE YOU COME SEE ME ON THE TOSH

586. TOUR 2010, AND FOLLOW ME ON

587. TWITTER, SO WE CAN LIVE CHAT

588. DURING THE SHOWS.

589. FINALLY, THE BEST PART ABOUT

590. HAVING A JOB IS TALKING ABOUT

591. YOUR CO-WORKERS BEHIND THEIR

592. BACKS.

593. THAT'S WHY I HAD MY FANS TWEET

594. ME ALL THEIR OFFICE GOSSIP IN A

595. NEW SEGMENT CALLED "TWISPERS."

596. RYAN WRITES, UH, "GIRL AT

597. CORPORATE LIKES TO MEET AND BANG

598. FIELD MANAGERS AT REGIONAL

599. MEETINGS."

600. THAT HAD A LOT OF OFFICE JARGON

601. IN IT.

602. IT HAS TO BE REAL.

603. DEVIN SAYS THE GIRL IN THE

604. CUBICAL ACROSS FROM MEADOWSN'T

605. KNOW HER SNATCH SHOWS TWICE A

606. WEEK.

607. WHAT SHE DON'T KNOW WON'T HURD

608. HER.

609. OUR OFFICE SKANK JUST —

610. THAT MUST BE A MISTAKE, BECAUSE

611. THE WORST-SMELLING TACO AT

612. PONCHERO'S STILL SMELLS

613. DELICIOUS.

614. ROB HAS BEEN LICKING THE TOPS OF

615. SO DAY CANS IN THE FRIDGE AT

616. TRADER PUBLISHING.

617. GOT YOU KNOW, BASTARD.

618. HE GOT YOU, ROB.

619. AND THIS GUY IS BLACK, OF

620. COURSE.

621. HE OWES $10,000 IN CHILD

622. SUPPORT.

623. JUST BECAUSE THAT IS REALLY

624. RACIST DOESN'T MEAN THAT TWISPER

625. ISN'T ACCURATE.

626. PAY UP.

627. SEE YOU NEXT WEEK.

628. CACAO!