Tosh.0 2x2

1. - CAREFUL.

2. NO, NO, DON'T JUMP, EDWARD.

3. DON'T JUMP.

4. YOU'LL HURT YOURSELF.

5. - YAY.

6. - OH, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

7. WELCOME TO TOSH.0

8. TONIGHT WE HAVE A HECK OF A SHOW.

9. THE CRYSTAL LIGHT DANCERS STOP BY

10. FOR OUR FIRST-EVER WEB REUNION.

11. WE SEE IF THE WII FIT GIRL IS STILL FIT.

12. AND WE SHOW YOU THE ONE CLIP

13. COMEDY CENTRAL SAID I COULD NEVER SHOW.

14. NOW LET'S SEE THAT KID THAT DID NOT LISTEN TO HIS FATHER AGAIN.

15. - NO, NO, DON'T JUMP, EDWARD.

16. - JUMP. - DON'T JUMP.

17. - JUMP.

18. - YOU'LL HURT YOURSELF. - YES.

19. AH, HONEY, WE LOST ANOTHER ONE.

20. I BET THE KID BLAMES DROP DEAD FRED.

21. HUH? A DROP DEAD FRED REFERENCE.

22. I'M DOING THEM.

23. AH, THAT SLIDE IS STILL SAFER THAN ANY RIDE AT SIX FLAGS.

24. KIDS ARE SO CLUMSY. LET'S SEE AN ADULT.

25. - WOW,

26. - THAT'S A HELL OF A DROP, MILES.

27. - I KNOW IT. - IT'S A HELL OF A DROP.

28. - BE CAREFUL, THAT'S A HELL OF A—

29. OH,

30. OH, HELL. OH,

31. YOU ALL RIGHT?

32. - YEAH, I'M FINE.

33. JUST FELL OFF A MOUNTAIN.

34. YOU ALL RIGHT?

35. TURNS OUT DOING THE DEW

36. MAKES YOU A LITTLE JITTERY ON THOSE TIGHT TURNS.

37. DON'T WORRY, A WHEELCHAIR IS ALMOST LIKE A BIKE.

38. YOU'LL LOVE IT.

39. HANG IN THERE, MILES. HELP'S ON THE WAY

40. IN ABOUT SEVEN HOURS.

41. YOU NEVER WANNA CALL AN AMBULANCE

42. IN A THIRD WORLD COUNTRY.

43. OKAY, WE'VE GOT HER LOOSELY SECURED.

44. NOW GUN IT.

45. AT LEAST THE OTHER GIRL FELL OUT TOO.

46. GET USED TO IT, AMERICA, 'CAUSE THAT'S OBAMACARE.

47. I ASSUME THAT'S CHRIS HENRY'S FIANCE DRIVING.

48. SOMEBODY CALL A SECOND PICKUP TRUCK STAT.

49. BY THE WAY, "STAT" FROM THE LATIN WORD "STATIM"--

50. IT'S A MEDICAL TERM,

51. MEANING IMMEDIATELY OR SOONER THAN ALREADY THERE.

52. THAT'S A FUN FACT.

53. THIS SHOW IS DISGUSTING AND INFORMATIVE.

54. SI'S ABOUT TO RELEASE THE SWIMSUIT ISSUE.

55. HERE'S MY VOTE FOR THE COVER MODEL.

56. SHE IS CONSIDERED THE WORLD'S TALLEST MODEL.

57. HER PROFILE READS;

58. 6'8", 245 POUNDS, LOVES SUSHI,

59. HATES HAVING A BONER.

60. LET'S SEE HOW MANY FUNNY COMMENTS

61. WE CAN POST IN 20 SECONDS.

62. POUND FOR POUND, SHE'S THE UGLIEST MODEL IN THE WORLD.

63. SHE'S SO TALL, YOU HAVE TO GO UP ON HER.

64. IN HER OFF TIME, SHE LIKES TO STOMP ON BUILDINGS IN JAPAN.

65. A HANDY FROM THAT CHICK

66. WILL MAKE YOUR JUNK LOOK LIKE A TOOTHPICK.

67. IS IT JUST ME, OR DOES DIRK NOWITZKI

68. LOOK WONDERFUL IN A BATHING SUIT?

69. DEADLY TURNAROUND, TOO.

70. I FEEL LIKE I OVERLOOKED SOMETHING,

71. CAN I GET 20 MORE SECONDS ON THE CLOCK?

72. THANK YOU.

73. THE WORST PART ABOUT BEING THAT TALL

74. IS THAT IT MAKES HER LOOK SMALL.

75. A SEVEN-FOOT-TALL MODEL IS LIKE A UNICORN.

76. IT'S UNIQUE, MAGICAL, AND PROBABLY HAS A.

77. LIKE MOST MODELS, I ASSUME THEY PHOTOSHOP HER OUT.

78. IF YOU HAD SEX WITH HER, YOU'D BE GAY.

79. BECAUSE THAT DUDE HAS A.

80. ALL RIGHT, NOW I FEEL BETTER.

81. ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL?

82. YEAH.

83. USC ALREADY BOUGHT HIS FAMILY A NEW HOUSE.

84. MEL KIPER, JR., LIKES HIS LATERAL QUICKNESS

85. AND THE ABILITY TO KNOCK THE

86. OUT OF OTHER SIX-YEAR-OLDS.

87. I'D LIKE TO POINT OUT THAT THE KID DIDN'T FUMBLE THE BALL.

88. THAT'S BALL SECURITY, ADRIAN PETERSON.

89. DO YOU LIKE FEET?

90. THEN YOU'RE GONNA BE IN FOR A REAL TREAT.

91. ENJOY THIS NEXT VIDEO, PERVERTS.

92. HIS FACE MUST BE GELLIN'.

93. IS IT WORSE IF THE GIRLS ARE UNDERAGED?

94. I'M JUST SAYING, BECAUSE I WOULD ASSUME THEY'D BE LIGHTER.

95. YOU DON'T WANT A 40-YEAR-OLD WOMAN STEPPING ON YOUR FACE.

96. THOSE FEET HAVE SEEN SOME HARD TIMES.

97. IT LOOKED PRETTY EROTIC SO I WANTED TO GIVE IT A TRY.

98. BUT IT'S VERY PAINFUL, AND NOT MY THING.

99. FACE UP, FETISH. FACE DOWN, HATE CRIME.

100. THANKS, EDWARD.

101. WHAT'S NEXT?

102. OH, I LOVE TAXICAB CONFESSIONS.

103. YOU WANNA GO AHEAD AND SHUT THE METER OFF?

104. THAT WAS THE GREATEST EPISODE OF CASH CAB EVER.

105. LET'S GRAB THE JAWS OF LIFE AND RIP THIS VIDEO OPEN

106. IN THIS WEEK'S BREAKDOWN.

107. YOUR FIRST SIGN, RANDY HERE IS A WHITE CAB DRIVER.

108. NOT GOOD.

109. I PREFER MY CAB DRIVERS TO BE FROM

110. ONE OF THE TERRORIST COUNTRIES.

111. THOSE GUYS DON'T NEED SLEEP.

112. THEY'RE ALL HOPPED UP ON HATE AND POPPY SEEDS.

113. LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S GETTING SLEEPY

114. OR COMFORTABLE WITH THEIR IMAGINARY GIRLFRIEND.

115. AND I'M SURE INHALING AN ENTIRE RASCAL FLATTS

116. UNSTOPPABLE BREAKFAST AT DENNY'S BEFORE YOUR SHIFT DIDN'T HELP.

117. WHY DON'T YOU JUST DRINK A 5-HOUR ENERGY AND DO SOME METH

118. LIKE EVERYONE ELSE IN YOUR STATE?

119. MY GUESS IS KANSAS.

120. OH, IT'S RARE TO SEE THE EXACT MOMENT

121. THAT SOMEONE'S LIFE FLASHES BEFORE THEIR EYES.

122. HE REMEMBERS HIS FIRST KISS

123. WITH HIS COUSIN,

124. THAT TIME HE SHOT A BALD EAGLE,

125. AND HOW AWESOME BILL ENGVALL IS.

126. AND BOOM! GOES THE DYNAMITE.

127. AT LEAST HIS HEAD'S OUTSIDE SO HE CAN YELL FOR HELP.

128. HE SHOULD'VE LOOKED DOWN AT HIS DALE EARNHARDT T-SHIRT

129. AND REMEMBERED WHY HE STARTED DRIVING A CAB

130. IN THE FIRST PLACE.

131. CRASHING YOUR CAR WHILE WEARING A EARNHARDT SHIRT

132. IS LIKE RAIN ON YOUR WEDDING DAY,

133. IT'S LIKE GOOD ADVICE THAT YOU JUST DIDN'T TAKE,

134. IT'S LIKE 10,000 SPOONS WHEN ALL YOU NEED IS A KNIFE.

135. WHO WOULD'VE THOUGHT? IT FIGURES.

136. AT LEAST HE GOT TO SIT IN EVERY SEAT IN LESS THAN EIGHT SECONDS.

137. THAT'S NO SMALL FEAT.

138. AND NOW HE KNOWS HOW UNCOMFORTABLE IT IS

139. IN THE BACK SEAT OF A CAB.

140. MOVE YOUR SEAT UP, RANDY.

141. I'M JUST GLAD HE INSTALLED A DASHBOARD CAMERA

142. INSTEAD OF AN AIRBAG SO WE CAN ALL ENJOY THIS WRECK.

143. AND FOR THAT WE THANK YOU.

144. WE'LL MISS YOU, THREE.

145. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH THE CRYSTAL LIGHT DANCERS.

146. BUT FIRST, WHEN YOU COME TO THE TOSH.0 OFFICES,

147. YOU WILL BE GREETED AT THE RECEPTION BY THIS GUY,

148. RECIO.

149. AND EVERY MORNING, HE SHOWS ME TONS AND TONS OF CLIPS.

150. HE SAYS THEY'RE AWESOME,

151. AND HE ASSURES ME BLACK PEOPLE WILL LOVE THEM,

152. SO I GAVE HIM A SEGMENT.

153. - TRISHA!

154. - YOU'LL MEET THE HEALTHIEST, FITTEST,

155. MOST TALENTED COMPETITORS.

156. THESE PEOPLE ARE NOT ONLY INSPIRATIONAL,

157. THEIR DOWNRIGHT PERSPIRATIONAL.

158. - THE BEST PART OF PERFORMING WITH THESE TWO GUYS

159. IS THEY KEEP ME IN LINE AND IT'S A LOT OF FUN.

160. - UNLESS MY GAYDAR IS OFF,

161. I THINK THEY'RE PART OF THE HOMOSEXUAL COMMUNITY.

162. THAT IS THE GAYEST THING I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE,

163. AND IT COULDN'T BE MORE AWESOME.

164. YOU MAY HAVE NOTICED

165. THAT NOTHING BAD HAPPENED IN THAT VIDEO.

166. IT'S JUST A PERFECT AEROBIC DANCE PERFORMANCE,

167. AND ONE WELL-GROOMED MUSTACHE.

168. AND THAT SHOULD COME AS NO SURPRISE—

169. FLAMBOYANT GAY MEN ARE SUPER TALENTED.

170. THERE'S ELTON JOHN, ADAM LAMBERT,

171. THAT CHINESE DUDE FROM ENTOURAGE,

172. AND MY NEW FAVORITE LADY GAGA.

173. THE CRYSTAL LIGHT DANCERS DON'T NEED A WEB REDEMPTION.

174. THE TRAGEDY IS WHAT HAPPENED AFTER THIS ROUTINE.

175. THE GROUP SPLIT UP.

176. YEAH.

177. I ASSUME BECAUSE OF A GIRL.

178. SURE, LOOKING BACK AT THIS VIDEO

179. IT FEELS A LITTLE DATED, AND IT'S A LITTLE GAY.

180. THINGS ALWAYS LOOK GAYER IN RETROSPECT.

181. I HATE SOCCER.

182. DANCING IS GAY JUST BY DEFINITION.

183. I'M NOT GAY.

184. I TELL MYSELF THAT EVERY MORNING WHEN I WAKE UP.

185. I'M NOT GAY.

186. BUT I CERTAINLY APPRECIATE EVERYTHING

187. THE GAY CULTURE HAS CREATED.

188. THEY'VE GIVEN US V-NECKS,

189. SMART CARS, SECRETS, SCIENTOLOGY,

190. MARGARET CHO, TANNING BEDS, THE 1970S, SMOOTHIES,

191. SAFE WORDS, ROLLERBLADING, WEIRD MOMENTS AT CAMP,

192. ANYTHING ED HARDY, FAUX HAWKS, STEAM ROOMS, SCARVES,

193. SUN-DRIED TOMATOES— THE GAYEST FORM OF TOMATO EVER.

194. AND WITHOUT GAYS, MY HOMETOWN OF SOUTH BEACH

195. WOULD BE ABOUT AS MUCH FUN AS DETROIT.

196. IT TURNED OUT THAT AEROBICS WAS JUST A SILLY FAD

197. THAT NO ONE REALLY ENJOYED TO BEGIN WITH.

198. YOU KNOW, LIKE THE JAY LENO SHOW.

199. THE CRYSTAL LIGHT DANCERS HAVEN'T PERFORMED

200. SINCE THAT MAGICAL NIGHT.

201. AND THAT'S JUST NOT RIGHT IN MY BOOK.

202. SO LET'S SEE IF THERE'S STILL SOME SPUNK

203. LEFT IN THOSE UNITARDS IN OUR FIRST-EVER WEB REUNION.

204. FIRST THINGS FIRST.

205. PLEASE TELL ME YOU'RE GAY.

206. - WELL...

207. DING, DING, DING, DING, DING.

208. - YES? - YES.

209. - THREE FOR THREE.

210. - DO THEY STILL HAVE THAT COMPETITION?

211. - OH, YEAH.

212. - AND DO YOU GUYS GO BACK EVERY YEAR?

213. - NO. - REALLY?

214. - 23 YEARS. - YOU'VE NEVER BEEN BACK?

215. IS THIS THE FIRST TIME YOU GUYS

216. HAVE ALL BEEN BACK TOGETHER SINCE?

217. - YEAH. - REALLY?

218. THIS IS WHAT OPRAH MUST FEEL LIKE.

219. IT'S REALLY A GOOD FEELING.

220. DO PEOPLE RECOGNIZE YOU FROM THIS?

221. - I DIDN'T OWN UP TO IT UNTIL IT GOT OUT.

222. I HAD TO.

223. - I MEAN, I ASSUME IT WAS ALL POSITIVE.

224. - THEY LOVE IT.

225. I THINK IT WAS THE HAIR AND THE MUSTACHE.

226. - EVERYONE LOVES THE MUSTACHE. - YEAH.

227. - DOES YOUR SPORT HAVE A STEROID PROBLEM?

228. - SEE, IT WASN'T STEROIDS, IT WAS PADDING OF THE CROTCH.

229. - HOLD ON.

230. - PEOPLE WERE PADDING THEIR CROTCHES?

231. - NOT EVERYBODY. - NOT EVERYBODY.

232. - THAT IS SOMETHING THAT I'VE ALWAYS

233. ACCUSED A LOT OF PEOPLE OF.

234. DO YOU THINK THIS REUNION COULD REVIVE YOUR SPORT?

235. - ONLY IF YOU JOIN US.

236. - I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS OPPORTUNITY

237. MY ENTIRE LIFE.

238. - COME ON, LET'S GET TO WORK.

239. OH, YES.

240. - OKAY, GUYS, WE GOT— DANIEL'S OUR NEW MEMBER.

241. WE GOT TO GET HIM INTO SHAPE, WE GOTTA TEACH HIM SOME MOVES.

242. WHAT DO YOU THINK? DO YOU THINK HE'S UP FOR IT?

243. - OH, I'M READY. - HERE WE GO.

244. FIVE, SIX, SEVEN, EIGHT.

245. - WHOO.

246. - SLAP.

247. FIVE, SIX, SEVEN, EIGHT, ONE.

248. - MUSCLE. - UNDER.

249. - MAN, THERE'S SO MUCH.

250. - LEFT... RIGHT...

251. - IT'S NOT EASY.

252. - FIVE, SIX.

253. GIVE ME A SALUTE. WHOO, WHOO.

254. - THERE YOU GO. YEAH, YEAH!

255. - GOT IT. - TWO, THREE, FOUR.

256. - RIGHT... LEFT.

257. SEVEN, EIGHT. WHOO.

258. - OKAY, WHAT IS NEXT?

259. - WE'RE GONNA DO OUR SIGNATURE PUSH-UP.

260. - I ACTUALLY CAME UP WITH A FEW IDEAS—

261. MAYBE WAYS TO UPDATE THE SIGNATURE PUSH-UP A LITTLE BIT.

262. - DANIEL, IF YOU'RE NOT HAPPY WITH

263. WHAT WE'RE DOING IN THE GROUP THEN THERE'S THE DOOR.

264. - OKAY, MAYBE I WILL USE IT. - SEE YOU LATER.

265. - I'M OUT— - SEE YOU LATER.

266. - LET'S WORK ON THE PUSH-UP THE WAY IT'S DONE.

267. - THANK YOU, EVERYBODY. YES, I AM TV LEGEND ALAN THICKE.

268. AND IT'S AN HONOR TO BE HOSTING THE AEROBICS DANCE COMPETITION.

269. I REMAIN IN PEAK PHYSICAL CONDITION.

270. TAKE A PEEK IF YOU LIKE.

271. - THE JABBAWOCKEEZ DANCE CREW, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

272. OH, I GET IT.

273. A DANCE CREW IS NO GREATER THAN IT'S INDIVIDUAL MEMBERS.

274. AND THE BAD BOYS WERE ONLY BEING HARD ON ME

275. BECAUSE THEY NEED ME AS MUCH AS I NEED THEM.

276. - LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

277. REUNITING FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 23 YEARS,

278. THE BAD BOYS FROM SAN FRANCISCO!

279. - YOU'RE RIGHT. THANKS, JABBAWOCKEEZ.

280. THERE'S NO "I" IN DANCE CREW.

281. - DID SOMEBODY SAY CRU?

282. - CRU JONES? I MEAN, BILL ALLEN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

283. - THEY'RE NOT GONNA LET ME STAR IN RAD TWO.

284. - OH, I SAY WE GO TO HELLTRACK AND BURNHAT MOTHER DOWN.

285. BUT ON THE WAY, CAN WE STOP BY THE STUDIO?

286. THE JABBAWOCKEEZ WANT ME TO DANCE WITH SOME GAY DUDES.

287. - SOUNDS REASONABLE. HOP ON.

288. - THANKS, CRU.

289. - I'M HERE, GUYS.

290. I'M STRAIGHT. I CANNOT EMPHASIZE THAT ENOUGH.

291. - I DON'T NEED TO SEE ANY MORE.

292. THE BAD BOYS WIN!

293. - THE ANSWER IS NO.

294. I DID NOT STUFF MY UNITARD.

295. TALK ABOUT THE BLOB.

296. OKAY, ON THIS SHOW WE SEE A LOT OF ACCIDENTS.

297. AND I DON'T CONDONE YOU GOING OUT AND HURTING ANYONE.

298. UNLESS YOU WANNA BE NAMED OUR DICK OF THE WEEK.

299. - AGH!

300. - HE'S STILL ALIVE.

301. - THAT IS SO MUCH MORE IMPRESSIVE

302. THAN ACTUALLY HULA HOOPING.

303. THAT WAS THE WII FIT GIRL.

304. THE VIDEO IS FROM 2007,

305. WHICH IN INTERNET TIME IS, LIKE, 50 YEARS.

306. SO LET'S CHECK IN AND SEE HOW SHE'S HOLDING UP.

307. PLEASE HELP ME WELCOME THE WII FIT GIRL, LAUREN.

308. HOW ARE YOU, LAUREN?

309. - IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU, DANIEL.

310. - SHOW ME YOUR BUTT.

311. - NO, I DON'T ALWAYS PLAY VIDEO GAMES IN MY UNDERWEAR.

312. IT JUST HAPPENED TO BE A SPONTANEOUS MORNING,

313. I DECIDED TO WORK OUT

314. 'CAUSE WE HAD JUST GOTTEN THE PRODUCT

315. SO I WANTED TO TRY IT OUT THAT MORNING.

316. AND I GUESS I WAS THAT EAGER

317. THAT I DECIDED TO DO IT IN MY KNICKERS.

318. - SHOW ME YOUR BUTT.

319. - THE VIDEO HAD NINE MILLION HITS.

320. - SHOW ME YOUR BUTT.

321. SHOW ME YOUR BUTT.

322. - UM, WE'VE HAD IT HAPPEN TWO TIMES,

323. AND I WAS SHOCKED AND I DIDN'T BELIEVE IT,

324. BECAUSE I'M REALLY FROM BEHIND SO YOU REALLY DON'T SEE ME.

325. SO A LOT OF PEOPLE DON'T REALLY RECOGNIZE ME FROM THE FRONT,

326. PLUS I DON'T WEAR MY GLASSES ALL THE TIME.

327. - SHOW ME YOUR BUTT.

328. - OKAY, DANIEL, HERE IT IS.

329. - OH, THANK YOU, WII FIT GIRL, YOU STILL LOOK TRIM.

330. IS THAT A COMPLIMENT TO WOMEN? I DON'T EVEN KNOW.

331. YOUR ASS LOOKS TRIM.

332. NOW IT'S TIME TO PLAY GUESS WHAT HAPPENS NEXT.

333. THIS IS WHERE WE SHOW YOU A VIDEO, PAUSE IT,

334. AND YOU HAVE TO GUESS WHAT HAPPENS NEXT.

335. IT IS NOT EASY.

336. - FIRST THING I'M GONNA DO,

337. IS HOLD—PULL OUT MY SWORD LIKE THIS...

338. - I CAN TELL YOU WHAT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN.

339. A WOMAN'S GONNA WALK OUT.

340. YOU GOT A CHUBBY KID IN A SWEAT SUIT

341. HOLDING A CHILD-PROOF WOODEN SWORD.

342. THIS IS A DEFINITE NERD ALERT.

343. CAN YOU GUESS WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?

344. - STANCE...

345. HA!

346. - SHA-POW!

347. WHO WOULD HAVE GUESSED THAT THAT SAMURAI

348. HAD A SWEET, SWEET MULLET?

349. OH, MY!

350. MOVE OVER, STEVEN SEAGAL,

351. THERE IS A NEW BLOATED SHERIFF WITH A BAD HAIRDO IN TOWN.

352. HE MUST BE THE WORLD'S STEALTHIEST NINJA.

353. WHO COULD KEEP A HORSETAIL LIKE THAT HIDDEN FOR SO LONG?

354. AND THAT'S HOW WE PLAY GUESS WHAT HAPPENS NEXT.

355. MAKE SURE YOU GO TO YOUR OUR WEBSITE,

356. UPLOAD YOUR OWN VIDEO FOR A CHANCE TO BE

357. OUR VIEWER VIDEO OF THE WEEK.

358. THIS WEEK'S WINNER WAS SENT IN FROM BRIAN CHISMAR

359. FEATURING FRAN AND MILLIE.

360. - HERE WE GO. WHOO!

361. - GOING DOWN! WHOO!

362. WHOO-OO-OO-OO!

363. - SHUT UP.

364. - AW, I LOVE THAT VIDEO. MY GRANDMA'S DEAD.

365. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE PRIMETIME GLICK.

366. - ALL RIGHT.

367. IT'S FINALLY TIME TO SHOW YOU

368. THE SEXIEST CLIP WE'VE EVER SHOWN.

369. LET'S LOAD IT UP.

370. AW,

371. IT'S ONE OF THOSE STUPID CAPTCHAS.

372. ALL RIGHT, S-H-D-M...

373. I DON'T THINK I HAVE A KEY FOR THAT.

374. IS THIS HIEROGLYPHICS?

375. SCREW IT, LET'S JUST MOVE ON.

376. HAVE YOU SEEN JIM CARREY'S NEW WEBSITE?

377. THIS THING IS WORSE THAN THE MAJESTIC.

378. UGH.

379. HOW RICH AND CRAZY DO YOU HAVE TO BECOME

380. TO HAVE A WEBSITE LIKE THIS?

381. THERE'S SO MANY LEVELS, HE'S SO DEEP.

382. DON'T YOU REMEMBER WHEN HE USED TO

383. TALK OUT OF HIS BUTT AND MAKE PEOPLE LAUGH?

384. HE PROBABLY SPENDS SO MUCH TIME ON THIS SITE

385. BECAUSE HE DOESN'T WANNA LISTEN

386. TO JENNY MCCARTHY YAP ABOUT VACCINES.

387. OH, JENNY.

388. YOU'RE GETTING OLD.

389. YOU'LL NOTICE THERE'S 23 ITEMS ON THAT PAGE.

390. AND IF YOU NOTICE THE BIRD

391. IS SPITTING OUT THREE AT A TIME.

392. THREE MINUS TWO, ONE PLUS TWO, 23.

393. YOU SEE THE HEAD ON THE GROUND, THERE'S TEETH IN THERE.

394. I SEE SEVEN TEETH.

395. SEVEN MINUS SIX IS ONE, PLUS 22 IS 23.

396. HE'S SHOWING US SIX FINGERS... 23.

397. ALL RIGHT, KNOCK IT OFF.

398. NEXT WEEK, THE RISKY BUSINESS GIRLS STOP BY

399. FOR A WEB REDEMPTION.

400. - OH!

401. GOOD NEWS, THEY'RE HOT. BAD NEWS, THEY'RE 15.

402. HEY, MAKE SURE YOU FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER,

403. SO WE CAN LIVE CHAT DURING THE SHOWS,

404. CHECK OUT MY TOUR SCHEDULE,

405. AND MAKE SURE YOU KEEP UP WITH OUR DAILY BLOG

406. AT COMEDYCENTRAL.COM/TOSH.0.

407. BEFORE WE GO, LET'S GET TO THE LEAST IMPORTANT

408. PART OF THE SHOW— YOU, THE FANS.

409. HERE'S SOME OF YOUR TWITTER QUESTIONS.

410. WHO'S HUNGRY?

411. SEE YOU NEXT WEEK. GOOD NIGHT.

412. - MAKE A BIG MUSCLE. OH, YEAH.

413. - OH, GOD, I LOOK AWFUL IN PROFILE.

414. UNTIL YOU GROW THAT MUSTACHE BACK

415. YOU'RE GONNA BE IN THE BACK.

416. - BRING YOUR ARMS DOWN LIKE THIS AND GO "UGH!"

417. YOU'RE GONNA GO... WIPE IT OFF YOUR EAR.

418. - OH, THIS IS WHEN I'M WHITER THAN EVER.

419. - TROY, HOLD HIS LEG DOWN.

420. READY?

421. - OH, PLEASE! - CAREFUL, CAREFUL.

422. WE DON'T WANNA LOSE OUR NEW MEMBER ALREADY.

423. - THAT'S WHAT THEY USED TO DO TO ME.

424. - DID THEY HURT YOU? - NO, NO, NO.

425. - OKAY. - THEY DIDN'T.

426. - OKAY.