Tosh.0 2x16

1. I LOVE THAT SONG.

2. WELCOME TO TOSH.0.

3. NO WOMEN WERE INVOLVED IN THE

4. MAKING OF THIS PROGRAM.

5. THAT'S HOW YOU DO IT, "DAILY

6. SHOW."

7. TONIGHT WE FIND OUT IF THE WORLD

8. OF WARCRAFT FREAK OUT KID IS FOR

9. REAL.

10. I MAKE A SPEED RUN VIDEO.

11. AND I LET YOU KNOW WHICH

12. CELEBRITIES I CAN BEAT UP.

13. NOW LET'S HEAD BACK TO THAT

14. CONCERT.

15. JUST WHEN THE SONG WAS GETTING

16. REALLY GOOD.

17. I COULDN'T EVEN TELL IF THAT WAS

18. A BLOOD-CURDLING SCREAM OR JUST

19. HOW THE SONG GOES?

20. DICK VOMIT IS NOT GOOD LIVE.

21. THAT'S THEIR NAME.

22. IT'S DICK VOMIT.

23. WHY CAN'T THAT HAPPEN TO KATY

24. PERRY?

25. ARE THEY PERFORMING AT AN

26. AQUARIUM?

27. WHAT'S WITH THE STINGRAY MURAL?

28. NOTHING SAYS "DEATH METAL" LIKE

29. AN AQUATIC THEMED BACKDROP.

30. BE CAREFUL GUYS.

31. THAT COULD REALLY PUT A DAMPER

32. ON THAT ONE-CITY TOUR.

33. DO YOU THINK THEY HAVE T-SHIRTS

34. AND THEY JUST PUT THE ONE CITY

35. ON IT?

36. THE AQUARIUM DOWNTOWN.

37. NO MAN SHOULD EVER WANT TO GO TO

38. THE MALL THIS BADLY.

39. WHY ARE YOU CLOSED?

40. TELL US WHY YOU'RE CLOSED!

41. TELL US WHY YOU'RE CLOSED!

42. TRY PUSHING.

43. WHY ARE YOU CLOSED?

44. I WANT TO GO SHOPPING IN THE

45. EATON CENTER!

46. WHY ARE YOU LOCK — WHY ARE YOU

47. CLOSING YOUR DOORS?

48. HE KNOWS THERE'S NO BOSS OF

49. THE MALL, RIGHT?

50. WHY?

51. WHY?

52. WHY ARE YOU CLOSED?

53. SOMEONE'S ADDICTED TO

54. WETZEL'S PRETZELS.

55. WHY ARE YOU LOCK — WHY ARE

56. YOU CLOSING YOUR DOORS?

57. TELL US THE REASON!

58. BECAUSE THOSE ARE OUR HOURS.

59. WHY ARE YOU PUTTING PEOPLE

60. THROUGH THIS?

61. OH, FINALLY, SOMEBODY'S

62. COMING TO HELP HIM.

63. TELL US WHY YOU'RE CLOSED!

64. SIR — WHY?

65. WHY?

66. SIR, WHY ARE YOU CLOSED?

67. STOP SCREAMING.

68. YOU ARE A MIDDLE-AGE MAN.

69. WHY ARE YOU CLOSED?

70. THIS MALL ISN'T FOR YOU.

71. LOOKS LIKE YOU BUY YOUR CLOTHES

72. AT WALGREENS ANYHOW.

73. TELL US WHY!

74. NICE PURSE, BY THE WAY.

75. WHY?

76. AND, YES, I GOT THAT SHIRT

77. FROM MEN'S WEARHOUSE.

78. YOU'RE THE GONNA LIKE THE WAY

79. YOU LOOK.

80. I GUARANTEE IT.

81. HEY, ANIMAL PLANET, A LITTLE

82. LESS CATS 101 AND A LITTLE MORE

83. OF THIS.

84. TOTALLY WORTH THE MALARIA TO SEE

85. SOME GIRAFFES WHACK EACH OTHER A

86. COUPLE TIMES.

87. BEING THE TOYS R' US MASCOT IS

88. VERY COMPETITIVE.

89. STOP IT!

90. YOU'RE GONNA GET SORE THROATS.

91. MY NECK!

92. MY BACK!

93. THE WINNER OF THIS FIGHT TAKES

94. ON MICHAEL VICK'S GIRAFFE.

95. EVER SINCE OBAMA WAS ELECTED,

96. THE PRESIDENTIAL FITNESS TEST

97. HAS GOTTEN RIDICULOUSLY HARD.

98. YEAH, ALL BLACK PEOPLE CAN DO

99. THIS.

100. EH, IF YOU'RE GONNA DATE FAT

101. WHITE GIRLS, THEN YOU HAVE TO BE

102. IN SHAPE.

103. THAT'S IMPRESSIVE, BUT MY CREDIT

104. SCORE'S HIGHER.

105. AWW, LOOK.

106. HE'S PREPARING FOR THE NEXT

107. HURRICANE TO HIT NEW ORLEANS.

108. CHECK OUT ASIA'S BEST BAKERY.

109. I DON'T THINK NORTH KOREANS

110. UNDERSTAND HOW URANIUM WORKS.

111. IT'S TIME FOR SOME UNANSWERED

112. QUESTIONS.

113. WHY ARE YOU SO MAD AT THE MOCHI?

114. DO THEY USE KARATE FOR

115. EVERYTHING?

116. WHAT'S YOUR HIGHEST SCORE IN

117. WHAC-A-MOLE?

118. DOES THE DOUGH GET A HAPPY

119. ENDING?

120. THIS NEXT GUY'S GOT A FLAT.

121. THAT'S NOT REALLY WHAT I MEANT

122. WHEN I SAID, "MAKE YOURSELF AT

123. HOME."

124. OR YOU COULD EAT AT DEL TACO.

125. LOOK AT HIM.

126. HE'S SO PROUD OF HIMSELF.

127. WHAT'S THAT, ABOUT 40 PSI?

128. BEFORE HE GOT THAT BIKE PUMP,

129. THEY HAD TO BLOW HIM UP BY

130. MOUTH.

131. WHAT'S NEXT?

132. AND THAT'S HOW CENTAURS ARE

133. MADE.

134. NOW LET'S HORSE-WHISPER SWEET

135. NOTHINGS IN THIS WEEK'S

136. BREAKDOWN.

137. PARADES ARE TERRIBLE.

138. I CAN'T IMAGINE ANYTHING WORSE

139. THAN WATCHING 100 UNIFORMED

140. NERDS STOMP AROUND WITH THEIR

141. WIND INSTRUMENTS AS THE SMELL OF

142. CORN DOGS AND DUNG WAFTS THROUGH

143. THE AIR.

144. OH, BUT MISS EL PASO CAN'T WAIT

145. TO SADDLE UP AND ENTERTAIN THE

146. CROWD.

147. NOW IT'S A PARADE.

148. BLACK BEAUTY SEEMS TO HAVE TAKEN

149. A SHINE TO THAT HORSE IN FRONT

150. OF HIM.

151. OH!

152. NOW HE'S TRYING TO MOUNT THAT

153. HUMAN BAREBACK.

154. NOTHING I HAVEN'T SEEN IN A

155. PRIDE PARADE BEFORE.

156. WILD WEST, INDEED.

157. THAT IS ONE HORNY HORSE.

158. THE SHRINERS HAD BETTER BRING

159. THEIR "A" GAME, BECAUSE

160. INTERSPECIES HUMPING IS A TOUCH

161. ACT TO FOLLOW.

162. OH.

163. CONSUELA DROPPED FASTER THAN THE

164. RECEPTION ON MY NEW IPHONE.

165. I HOPE HER LEG'S NOT

166. BROKEN,'CAUSE THEN THEY'D HAVE

167. TO SHOOT HER.

168. I'M JUST GLAD BLACK BEAUTY

169. DIDN'T GET GLUE ALL OVER HER

170. FACE BEFORE HE RODE OFF INTO THE

171. SUNSET AND FOR THAT, WE SAY,

172. "HEE-YA!"

173. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH THE

174. WORLD OF WARCRAFT KID, BUT

175. FIRST, THERE ARE TOO MANY VIDEOS

176. OF HORSES SODOMIZING INNOCENT

177. PEOPLE, SO I DECIDED TO EVEN THE

178. SCORE.

179. GIDDYUP.

180. WHEW.

181. WELL, I HATE TO NAIL AND BAIL,

182. BUT I GOT THIS THING TOMORROW

183. AND MY MOM'S SICK AND SHE WANTS

184. ME TO PICK HER UP TOMORROW.

185. SO, YEAH, LET'S DO THIS AGAIN

186. SOON, ALL RIGHT?

187. I'LL CALL YOU.

188. OKAY, MY MOM JUST CANCELED MY

189. BROTHER'S WORLD OF WARCRAFT

190. ACCOUNT AND HE IS FLIPPING OUT.

191. WAS HE POSSESSED BY A GAY

192. GHOST?

193. THAT'S STEPHEN.

194. HE'S 16 AND HE THREW THAT LITTLE

195. TANTRUM BECAUSE MOMMY SHUT DOWN

196. HIS WORLD OF WARCRAFT ACCOUNT.

197. I HAVEN'T BEEN THAT PISSED OFF

198. AT A VIDEO GAME SINCE I FOUND

199. OUT JORDAN WASN'T ON NBA JAM.

200. THEY GAVE US SCOTTIE PIPPEN AND

201. HORACE GRANT.

202. ONE'S GOT GOGGLES ON.

203. THE OTHER'S A 44-YEAR-OLD WHO

204. STILL GOES BY "SCOTTIE."

205. THE ONLY THING WORSE THAN

206. PLAYING WORLD OF WARCRAFT IS

207. CARING ABOUT PLAYING WORLD OF

208. WARCRAFT.

209. HE WAS A PACK OF N-BOMBS AWAY

210. FROM GOING FULL-ON MEL GIBSON.

211. YEAH, WAY TO GO, MEL.

212. ENJOY THE REST OF YOUR LIFE

213. GETTING DRUNK AT HOME ALONE IN

214. YOUR WHITE SHEET.

215. NO KID LIKES TO BE TOLD THEY

216. CAN'T DO SOMETHING.

217. JUST TRY TELLING JORAN VAN DER

218. SLOOT HE CAN'T MAKE WOMEN

219. DISAPPEAR ANYMORE.

220. IT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN.

221. MY DAD DIDN'T USE TIME-OUTS.

222. HE USED THE LORD AND A BELT.

223. I JUST WISH HE WOULD HAVE BEAT

224. ME MORE.

225. I'D PROBABLY BE A MOVIE STAR BY

226. NOW.

227. BEING GROUNDED SOUNDS LIKE THE

228. GREATEST THING IN THE WORLD TO

229. ME AS AN ADULT.

230. YOU MEAN I'M NOT ALLOWED TO DO

231. ANYTHING OR HANG OUT WITH MY

232. FRIENDS?

233. GREAT.

234. PUT ME DOWN FOR 30 YEARS.

235. NO, NO, SORRY.

236. CAN'T MAKE IT TO ANYTHING EVER.

237. I'M GROUNDED.

238. TAKE SOME RESPONSIBILITY,

239. PARENTS.

240. THAT'S WHAT I DO.

241. THE WAY I PUNISH MY KIDS IS BY

242. USING THE MORNING AFTER PILL.

243. BECAUSE I BELIEVE LIFE STARTS AT

244. THE ERECTION.

245. SOMETHING ABOUT THIS VIDEO

246. DIDN'T ADD UP.

247. YOU'RE TELLING ME STEPHEN'S MOM

248. KNEW HOW TO LOG INTO WORLD OF

249. WARCRAFT TO CANCEL HIS ACCOUNT?

250. BECAUSE MY MOM CAN'T PUMP GAS.

251. WHAT KID STRIPS DOWN TO THEIR

252. BOXERS AND CORNHOLES THEMSELVES

253. OUT OF ANGER?

254. SURE, WE'VE ALL BEEN UPSET AND

255. LET SOME GUY SHOVE HIS FIST UP

256. OUR ASS, BUT WE DIDN'T LET OUR

257. BROTHER FILM IT.

258. THAT'S WHY I HAVE A SNEAKING

259. SUSPICION THAT VIDEO'S 100%

260. FAKE, SO I DECIDED TO FLY HIS

261. ASS TO HOLLYWOOD AND FIND OUT IF

262. I NEED TO PUNISH HIM IN OUR

263. FIRST EVER WEB INVESTIGATION.

264. EAT MY BALLS, NEWB!

265. WE'RE ON THE SAME TEAM, YOU

266. IDIOT!

267. HEY, WHAT'S UP, STEPHEN?

268. HEY.

269. HAVE A SEAT, MAN.

270. JUST GRINDING OUT.

271. DOING A LITTLE GOLD FARMING.

272. YEAH.

273. GOD!

274. HOW ARE YOU?

275. I'M GOOD. YOU?

276. NICE TO MEET YOU.

277. ALL RIGHT, JUST TELL ME THE

278. STORY OF WHAT HAPPENED THAT DAY.

279. WELL, I CAME HOME THAT DAY

280. FROM SCHOOL AND I WENT TO GET ON

281. MY W.O.W. ACCOUNT, AND I FOUND

282. THAT IT'S BEEN CANCELLED.

283. SO THEN I ASKED MY MOM AND SHE

284. SAID SHE CANCELLED IT AND —

285. DID YOU IMMEDIATELY START

286. SCREAMING?

287. YEAH, THE SECOND SHE SAID,

288. "YEAH."

289. EXPLAIN TO PEOPLE THAT HAVE

290. BEEN LAID WHAT W.O.W. IS.

291. IT'S, LIKE, AN ONLINE REALM

292. WHERE YOU CAN JUST DO WHATEVER

293. YOU WANT.

294. YOU CAN GO KILL A BOAR.

295. MAYBE GO ON A QUEST WITH YOUR

296. FRIENDS.

297. HOW MANY HOURS A DAY DO YOU

298. THINK YOU PLAY IT?

299. I EITHER EAT, SLEEP, OR

300. W.O.W.

301. YOU WOULD THINK SOMEBODY THAT

302. PLAYS VIDEO GAMES ALL DAY LONG

303. WOULD BE FAT AND YOU'RE NOT FAT

304. AT ALL.

305. I HAVE A HIGH METABOLISM.

306. GOTCHA.

307. HOW WOULD YOU REACT IF YOUR

308. PARENTS TOOK AWAY YOUR PORN?

309. I DON'T LOOK AT THAT.

310. BUSTED!

311. LIE ONE.

312. I USED TO PLAY SUPER MARIO BROS.

313. A LOT.

314. DID YOU EVER PLAY THAT GAME?

315. NO, IT'S FOR NEWBS.

316. DO YOU HATE NEWBS?

317. YES.

318. SO YOU HATE ME?

319. YES.

320. WHY DID YOU TAKE YOUR PANTS

321. OFF?

322. BECAUSE IT'S LIMITING WHAT

323. POSITIONS I CAN GET.

324. LIKE, IF I HIKED MY LEG UP ON

325. THE BED WITH MY SHORTS ON, THEY

326. WOULD HAVE RIPPED.

327. SO YOU DIDN'T WANT TO RIP

328. YOUR SHORTS.

329. YEAH.

330. EVEN THOUGH YOU WERE SO

331. ANGRY?

332. YEAH.

333. I DON'T BELIEVE ANY OF THIS.

334. DO YOU THINK THAT'S THE LAST

335. TIME YOU'LL COME OUT OF THE

336. CLOSET?

337. HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE WATCHED

338. THAT VIDEO?

339. DO YOU KNOW?

340. I LOOKED AT IT ONCE.

341. HOW MANY PEOPLE WATCHED THAT

342. VIDEO?

343. I DON'T KNOW.

344. WHAT'S THE REAL NUMBER?

345. 26 MILLION.

346. A LOT OF PEOPLE SAY THAT

347. VIDEO'S FAKE, INCLUDING MYSELF.

348. WELL, YOU'RE WRONG.

349. OH, REALLY?

350. YEAH.

351. WELL, I HAVE A LITTLE

352. SURPRISE FOR YOU.

353. WHAT'S THAT?

354. THIS WHOLE DAY IS FAKE.

355. THIS IS A STING.

356. ARREST HIM, BOYS.

357. NO!

358. YOU'RE GONNA TELL THE TRUTH

359. NOW.

360. SHOVE SOMETHING IN HIS ASS!

361. IS THAT JELLY?

362. OH, MY GOODNESS.

363. WHAT DO WE HAVE HERE?

364. KID, THIS WHOLE THING COULD GO

365. "IT'S FAKE"!

366. GET HIM OUT OF THIS.

367. IS IT FAKE?

368. NO.

369. WE CAN DO THIS ALL DAY.

370. I'M YOUR FRIEND.

371. SURE, I'M A FRIEND THAT HAS A

372. GUN, THAT IF YOU MADE A MOVE

373. RIGHT NOW, I WOULDN'T HESITATE

374. TO END YOUR LIFE, BUT WE'RE

375. BUDDIES.

376. WAS IT FAKE?

377. NO.

378. SO YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT

379. YOU GET SO ANGRY THAT YOU SHOVE

380. THINGS IN YOUR BUTT?

381. YEAH.

382. NOW I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS.

383. TWO WAYS TO DO THIS.

384. MY WAY OR THE POLICE ACADEMY

385. WAY.

386. HOW ARE YOU?

387. THIS HERE IS THE KID?

388. THIS IS THE ONE.

389. WHY IS YOUR HEART BEATING SO

390. FAST IF YOU'RE NOT LYING?

391. CAN YOU HEAR YOUR HEART

392. BEATING?

393. NO HIP-HOP!

394. YOU SEE THAT FLY?

395. GETTING ANNOYING, ISN'T IT?

396. LIKES TO PLAY VIDEO GAMES ALL

397. DAY LONG.

398. YOU MEAN THE KIND THAT GO —

399. WHAT KIND OF VIDEO GAMES DO

400. YOU LIKE TO PLAY?

401. W.O.W.

402. OH, YOU MEAN THE, UH —

403. AND THE —

404. THAT KIND OF STUFF?

405. WHAT ABOUT NAILS TO A

406. CHALKBOARD?

407. [IMITATING NAILS SCRAPING

408. CHALKBOARD]

409. OKAY, STOP.

410. YOU AND YOUR BROTHER HAVE

411. BEEN IN ON THIS THE WHOLE TIME,

412. HAVEN'T YOU?

413. NO, I HATE MY BROTHER.

414. WRONG ANSWER.

415. PLEASE TRY AGAIN.

416. NO MORE BEACH WITH YOUR FRIENDS.

417. YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WILL BE

418. HEARING?

419. IS ALL MY LOVE, BABY.

420. DON'T WORRY.

421. IT'S A MALTESE.

422. HEY, STEPHEN, IF I FIND OUT

423. YOU'RE LYING, I'M GONNA SHOVE

424. THAT REMOTE CONTROL RIGHT UP

425. YOUR ASS.

426. IS THAT VIDEO OF YOU FREAKING

427. OUT FAKE?

428. NO.

429. THAT CAN'T BE GOOD.

430. YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE A PRO TO

431. READ THAT.

432. THAT'S A LOT OF LYING.

433. IS THE VIDEO FAKE?

434. NO.

435. BE HONEST.

436. NO.

437. IT IS.

438. NO.

439. I KNOW IT'S FAKE.

440. NO.

441. IT'S FAKE.

442. I'M SORRY!

443. DO IT.

444. AHH!

445. FINALLY.

446. SO GLAD WE COULD PUT THAT CASE

447. TO REST.

448. THANKS, OFFICER JONES.

449. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK, BUT FIRST,

450. IT'S THE RETURN OF THE PRANK OF

451. THE WEEK.

452. YOU MISSED A RING.

453. THAT WAS A SPEED RUN.

454. IT'S WHEN YOU BEAT A VIDEO GAME

455. AS FAST AS POSSIBLE WITHOUT

456. STOPPING.

457. I TRY TO DO A SPEED RUN EVERY

458. WEEK HERE AT THE SHOW.

459. I'M GETTING PRETTY FAST.

460. LET'S GO.

461. DON'T SLOW ME DOWN TODAY.

462. HEY, STEPHANIE.

463. HEY, BETTER-LOOKING DEMITRI

464. MARTIN.

465. WHOA!

466. WHOA!

467. WHOA!

468. WHAT DO YOU GOT FOR ME?

469. OH, HATE IT.

470. DISGUSTING!

471. PUT IT IN THE SHOW.

472. WHO'S THIS GUY?

473. DANIEL, YOUR MOM'S ON THE

474. PHONE.

475. I'M ALREADY PAST.

476. I LOVE YOU.

477. YOU'RE GAY!

478. WHOA!

479. WHOA!

480. WHOA!

481. PERFECT!

482. NOW MAKE IT WAY LONGER AND

483. SLOWER.

484. I'LL WIPE TOMORROW.

485. DANIEL, HERE'S TONIGHT'S

486. WARDROBE.

487. NOT DEEP ENOUGH.

488. DEEPER!

489. PERFECT!

490. THANK YOU.

491. WELCOME TO TOSH.0.

492. OH, THAT WAS A LOT OF PUKE.

493. SEE YOU NEXT WEEK.

494. GOOD NIGHT.

495. WHAT'S MY TIME?

496. NEW WORLD RECORD!

497. YES.

498. THAT'S HOW I LIVE MY LIFE.

499. QUARTER-MILE AT A TIME.

500. I BELIEVE THAT IS A QUOTE FROM

501. ONE VINCENT DIESEL.

502. A CELEBRITY I WOULD NEVER WANT

503. TO GET IN A FIGHT WITH.

504. I'VE ACTUALLY NEVER BEEN IN A

505. FIGHT, BUT I THINK I CAN

506. HONESTLY ASSESS MY ABILITIES, SO

507. I'M GONNA TELL YOU HOW I WOULD

508. FARE AGAINST OTHER CELEBRITIES.

509. I WANT TO STRESS THIS IS

510. HYPOTHETICAL.

511. NOTHING PERSONAL.

512. I DO NOT WANT TO ACTUALLY FIGHT

513. ANY OF THESE PEOPLE.

514. I'M JUST GUESSING WHAT WOULD

515. HAPPEN.

516. OKAY?

517. I MEAN NO DISRESPECT.

518. ROB SCHNEIDER?

519. I WOULD DESTROY THAT PUSSY.

520. AGAIN, NO DISRESPECT.

521. DO YOU HAVE ANY SUGGESTIONS?

522. PRINCE.

523. PRINCE?

524. I DON'T — I DON'T LIKE THIS,

525. BUT I THINK I COULD BEAT PRINCE,

526. WHICH IS COOL, BECAUSE

527. TECHNICALLY, HE IS BLACK.

528. TRACY MORGAN.

529. TRACY MORGAN?

530. NO, NO.

531. LIKE, THAT'S A REAL BLACK

532. PERSON.

533. KHLOE KARDASHIAN.

534. KHLOE KARDASHIAN?

535. OKAY, SHE IS A FICTIONAL

536. CELEBRITY.

537. THAT IS LIKE ASKING ME IF I

538. COULD BEAT UP SHREK.

539. MICHAEL J. FOX.

540. MICHAEL J. FOX?

541. I HONESTLY THINK I'M DOING HIM A

542. FAVOR BY BEATING HIM.

543. NO?

544. KEANU REEVES.

545. KEANU REEVES?

546. OF COURSE HE BEATS ME UP.

547. WHAT?

548. HE'S THE ONE.

549. DANE COOK.

550. AGAIN, YOU'RE NOT GONNA LIKE

551. THIS.

552. DANE COOK WOULD BEAT ME UP.

553. BUT IT'D BE REALLY, LIKE, LONG

554. AND NOT ORIGINAL.

555. ALL RIGHT.

556. BETTY WHITE.

557. BETTY WHITE?

558. I REALLY DO THINK HER TIME'S

559. COMING.

560. AND IT WOULD BE PRETTY NEAT IF

561. IT'S LIKE, "DID YOU HEAR DANIEL

562. TOSH KILLED BETTY

563. WHITE?"

564. NATHAN LANE.

565. NATHAN LANE?

566. IT'S A NO-WIN SITUATION.

567. IF I WIN, IT'S A HATE CRIME.

568. IF I LOSE, ALL OF BROADWAY WILL

569. BE AGHAST.

570. IF YOU WANT TO WEIGH IN ON WHICH

571. CELEBRITIES I CAN AND CANNOT

572. BEAT UP, GO TO OUR BLOG AT

573. COMEDYCENTRAL.COM/TOSH.0 AND

574. SEND IT IN.

575. AND PLEASE, NO WOMEN, BECAUSE

576. THERE'S TOO MUCH PAPERWORK.

577. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE

578. LIL' BUSH.

579. HEY, GUYS.

580. WELCOME BACK.

581. NOW IT'S TIME FOR OUR

582. UNFORTUNATE DOMAIN NAME OF THE

583. WEEK.

584. THIS WEEK'S WINNER IS

585. HOTELKUNTZ.COM.

586. YEP.

587. IT'S LOCATED IN PARIS, FRANCE.

588. I KNOW WHEN I THINK OF PARIS, I

589. THINK OF KUNTZ.

590. FOR 33 EUROS, WHICH IS ABOUT

591. $42, YOU'LL GET A NIGHT'S STAY

592. IN THE KUNTZ.

593. I ACTUALLY STAYED THERE

594. RECENTLY, AND I HAVE TO SAY THE

595. WOMAN AT THE FRONT DESK WAS A

596. TOTAL SWEETHEART.

597. I CAN TELL YOU WHO WAS A HUGE

598. THE CONCIERGE.

599. AND THE CONTINENTAL BREAKFAST IS

600. JUST COMME CI, COMME ÇA.

601. YOU'LL BE HAPPY TO KNOW YOUR

602. KUNTZ REWARD POINTS CAN BE

603. REDEEMED AT THEIR SISTER HOTEL

604. LES TOITS.

605. CAN YOU BELIEVE WE GOT SNUBBED

606. FOR AN EMMY?

607. HEY, MAKE SURE YOU FOLLOW ME ON

608. TWITTER SO WE CAN LIVE CHAT

609. DURING THE SHOWS AND MAKE SURE

610. YOU COME SEE ME ON THE TOSH TOUR

611. 2010.

612. OH, THAT IS GONNA BE A SUICIDE

613. MISSION.

614. NEXT WEEK, WE GIVE THE WORST

615. COMEDIAN EVER A WEB REDEMPTION.

616. SHE WAS BIGGER THAN MY

617. GREAT-GREAT GRANDMOTHER.

618. IS THAT FROM SINBAD'S NEW

619. SPECIAL?

620. FRANKIE MUNIZ?

621. OH, I WOULD KILL HIM.

622. SEE YOU NEXT WEEK.

623. GOOD NIGHT.