1. - WELCOME TO TOSH.0!Copy !req
2. WOW!Copy !req
3. SHE IS REALLY UP THERE.Copy !req
4. THE HEAVIER GIRL
NOT SO MUCH.Copy !req
5. HEH HEH!Copy !req
6. FRESHMAN 15
HAS ITS ADVANTAGES.Copy !req
7. YOU CAN ONLY ASK KIDS
TO SIT DOWN SO MANY TIMES,Copy !req
8. THEN YOU HAVE TO HIT
A SPEED BUMP DOING 50.Copy !req
9. LITTLE KNOWN FACT.Copy !req
10. THAT'S WHY ROSA PARKS
DIDN'T SIT IN THE BACK.Copy !req
11. POTHOLES.Copy !req
12. POTHOLES.Copy !req
13. WE HAVE GREAT SHOW TODAY.Copy !req
14. THE HOME SHOPPING LADDER GUY
GETS A WEB REDEMPTION.Copy !req
15. WE GIVE THE PIZZA ROLL KID
HIS TOUGHEST CHALLENGE YET.Copy !req
16. I CONSIDER TAKING THIS GUY ON
IN ARM WRESTLING.Copy !req
17. AND BE SURE TO STAY TUNED
FOR THE WHOLE SHOW,Copy !req
18. BECAUSE WE HAVE
A SEASON-ENDING CLIFFHANGERCopy !req
19. THAT WILL BLOW YOUR MIND.Copy !req
20. LET'S START
WITH A LITTLE ROAD KILL.Copy !req
21. IT COULD'VE BEEN WORSE.Copy !req
22. THEY COULD'VE BEEN HOT.Copy !req
23. GUESS WE'RE HEADING BACK
TO THE HOME DEPOTCopy !req
24. TO GET TWO NEW ONES.Copy !req
25. UN-UH. I MEAN MEXICANS.Copy !req
26. THAT REALLY DOESN'T
SOFTEN IT.Copy !req
27. ALL RIGHT, NOW OPEN
YOUR MOUTH AND SAY, "UGH!"Copy !req
28. YEAH. HE GOES
ON WOMEN BY 10:00 A.M.Copy !req
29. THAN YOU DO ALL DAY.Copy !req
30. HEY, I'D LET HIM GO
ON ME JUST FOR THE STORY.Copy !req
31. HE CAN TIE A CHERRY TREE
IN A KNOT.Copy !req
32. YOU KNOW HIS PENIS MUST HAVE
TONGUE ENVY.Copy !req
33. HIS DOCTOR PROBABLY USES
A 2x4 AS A TONGUE DEPRESSOR.Copy !req
34. YOU GET IT?
HE'S GOT A BIG TONGUE.Copy !req
35. UGH.Copy !req
36. HERE'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN
YOU DON'T GIVE A HOOT.Copy !req
37. YEAH, WHEN IN ROMANIA.Copy !req
38. YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE
IS A RIVER OF?Copy !req
39. WEEZER'S NEW ALBUM.Copy !req
40. TRUST ME, THERE IS
NOTHING MORE RELAXINGCopy !req
41. THAN TUBING DOWN
THE MISSRIVER.Copy !req
42. AHH!Copy !req
43. IT'S OKAY.Copy !req
44. IT WASN'T OPENED YET.Copy !req
45. PROBABLY SHOULD'VE RECYCLED.Copy !req
46. THERE'S MY CONDOM.Copy !req
47. THAT IS THE ONLY POSITION
YOU SHOULD BE INCopy !req
48. IN JEAN SHORTS.Copy !req
49. ALL RIGHT, WHAT'S NEXT?Copy !req
50. A HOT TUB, SEA-DOO
AND A STRIPPER POLE?Copy !req
51. THIS IS THE HOLY TRINITY
OF HAPPINESS.Copy !req
52. AND I WAS HOPING THIS WOULD
END IN AN ACCIDENT TOO...Copy !req
53. BUT SADLY, NO.Copy !req
54. MAYBE THIS NEXT ONE
WILL BE BETTER.Copy !req
55. - READY.Copy !req
56. - YES. TAZER.Copy !req
57. WE'RE OFF TO A GOOD START.
DO IT.Copy !req
58. THAT WAS SHOCKING.Copy !req
59. NOW LET'S SEE
HOW MANY FUNNY COMMENTSCopy !req
60. WE CAN POST IN 20 SECONDS.Copy !req
61. DON'T FEEL BAD.
CHINA'S TOO CROWDED, ANYWAY.Copy !req
62. OH!Copy !req
63. - GREAT. HE'S GONNA SLEEP
RIGHT THROUGH HIS KARATE LESSON.Copy !req
64. MORE EFFECTIVE
THAN RITALIN.Copy !req
65. IF YOU DO THAT
WHILE YOU MASTURBATE,Copy !req
66. IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE AWESOME.Copy !req
67. IT IS.Copy !req
68. YOU HAVE DISHONORED YOURSELF.Copy !req
69. AAH! KUNG PAO!Copy !req
70. KIND OF RACIST
AT THE END THERE.Copy !req
71. ARE YOU FAMILIAR
WITH THE POLAR BEAR CLUB?Copy !req
72. THAT'S WHERE OLD MEN JUMP
INTO FREEZING WATER.Copy !req
73. WELL, HERE'S HOW THEY HAZE
THEIR NEW MEMBERS.Copy !req
74. - THAT IS NOT
HOW JESUS DID IT.Copy !req
75. OR MAYBE IT IS, AND IT'S JUST
A BOOK OF EXAGGERATIONS.Copy !req
76. AND I THOUGHT I'D FEED
THIS WHOLE CROWD WITH ONE FISH.Copy !req
77. IF I HAD ONE WISH,
IT WOULD BECopy !req
78. TO GET BETTER CAMERAS
IN RUSSIA.Copy !req
79. I FEEL THAT PLACE
COULD BE BEAUTIFUL.Copy !req
80. BUT THE FOOTAGE I'VE SEEN—
VERY DEPRESSING.Copy !req
81. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN
TO A TALENT SHOWCopy !req
82. WHERE SOMEONE WAS
ACTUALLY TALENTED?Copy !req
83. IT IS AWFUL.Copy !req
84. LOOK AT THAT VIRGIN GO.Copy !req
85. CONGRATS. YOU'RE THE BEST
ACCORDION PLAYER IN THE WORLD.Copy !req
86. HAVE FUN BEING THAT.Copy !req
87. WHAT'S IT LIKE TO HAVE
MASTERED SOMETHINGCopy !req
88. NO ONE WANTS TO
LISTEN TO EVER?Copy !req
89. I WAS ACTUALLY
IN THAT TALENT SHOW.Copy !req
90. AND THAT WAS BEYONCE'S
SINGLE LADIES.Copy !req
91. I SHOULD'VE GONE FIRST.Copy !req
92. I TELL YOU
WHAT I SHOULD'VE DONE.Copy !req
93. I SHOULD'VE GONE
WITH A RIHANNA SONG.Copy !req
94. - WHOA!Copy !req
95. OH! WELL, IT'S OFFICIAL.Copy !req
96. WOMEN CAN'T DO
ANYTHING RIGHT.Copy !req
97. EVEN IN DUBAI, UGH.Copy !req
98. I GUESS SHE SHOULD BE GLAD
SHE DIDN'T STOP ON A LANDMINE.Copy !req
99. NOW LET'S RESET THE PINS
AND TAKE ANOTHER LOOKCopy !req
100. AT THIS 7-10 SPLIT
TO THE HEADCopy !req
101. IN THIS WEEK'S BREAKDOWN.Copy !req
102. - YOU CAN TELL
THIS ISN'T IN AMERICACopy !req
103. BECAUSE THE WOMAN BOWLING
ISN'T 80 POUNDS OVERWEIGHT.Copy !req
104. NOPE, IT'S THE LEAGUE NIGHT
AT ARABIAN STRIKES,Copy !req
105. AND PRINCESS JASMINE HERE
IS READY TO GOCopy !req
106. SUICIDE BOMBER ON SOME PINS.Copy !req
107. BIG NIGHT.Copy !req
108. SHE GOT TO WEAR WHAT
AMERICANS CALL BLUE JEANS.Copy !req
109. - WHOA!Copy !req
110. - NOTICE—PINK BALL,
TERRIBLE TECHNIQUE.Copy !req
111. PETE WEBER WOULD NOT APPROVE.Copy !req
112. YOU DON'T KNOW
WHO PETE WEBER IS?Copy !req
113. SUCK IT.Copy !req
114. HEY, AND LOOK AT THAT.
SHE'S OVER THE LINE.Copy !req
115. THAT'S A FOOT FAULT, CHEATER!Copy !req
116. CHEATERS NEVER WIN.Copy !req
117. EXCEPT IN BASEBALL.Copy !req
118. PRAISE ALLAH! A STRIKE!Copy !req
119. THAT'S THE MOST A WOMAN
HAS EVER ACCOMPLISHEDCopy !req
120. IN THAT COUNTRY.Copy !req
121. OH!Copy !req
122. - AND CHECK OUT THIS GUYCopy !req
123. TRYING TO SNEAK A TITTY CUP
ON THE HIGH HUG.Copy !req
124. MANY HAVE HAD A HAND
CHOPPED OFFCopy !req
125. FOR LESS THAN THAT,
MY FRIEND.Copy !req
126. ALL RIGHT, CALM DOWN.Copy !req
127. IT'S NOT LIKE
YOU FOUND OSAMA.Copy !req
128. YOU ROLLED A BALL.
AND WHERE ARE YOU HEADED?Copy !req
129. YOU DON'T HAVE TO RETRIEVE
YOUR OWN BALL.Copy !req
130. AND SHE TOPPLES JUST LIKE
THE STATUE OF SADDAM.Copy !req
131. BOWLING SHOES ARE NOT MADE
FOR TAKING VICTORY LAPS.Copy !req
132. LET'S SEE IT AGAIN.Copy !req
133. OOH! YOU HIT YOUR HEAD,Copy !req
134. BUT IT'S BETTER THAN BEING
LOCKED IN A SEX DUNGEON.Copy !req
135. OR A NON-CONSENSUAL
SEX ROOM.Copy !req
136. IT'S JUST TOO BAD
THAT SHE'LL HAVE TO BECopy !req
137. STONED DEATH
FOR DAMAGING THAT LANE.Copy !req
138. LUCKY FOR US,
WE DON'T LIVE THERE,Copy !req
139. BUT AT LEAST SOMEONE DEFIED
THE TALIBAN LONG ENOUGHCopy !req
140. TO PUT THIS VIDEO ONLINE,
AND FOR THAT, WE THANK YOU.Copy !req
141. COMING UP, WE GIVE THE HOME
SHOPPING GUY A WEB REDEMPTION.Copy !req
142. BUT FIRST, HERE'S PROOF
THAT A FAT PERSON CAN STRETCH.Copy !req
143. THEY JUST CHOOSE NOT TO—Copy !req
144. IN OUR SKATEBOARD
TRICK OF THE WEEK.Copy !req
145. - WATCH IT, WATCH IT.Copy !req
146. - OH,Copy !req
147. - SAY YOU HAVE A—
YOU KNOW, YOU HAVE TOCopy !req
148. GET UP ON THE WALL OR HIGH
CEILING, VAULTED CEILING.Copy !req
149. HEY, LISTEN,
JUST WALK RIGHT UP.Copy !req
150. AND I TELL YOU,
IT'S VERY SAFE.Copy !req
151. IT'S DURABLE.
AND IT'S LIGHTWEIGHT.Copy !req
152. - OH, YOU'RE SCARING ME.
- SO REALLY—Copy !req
153. - WHOA!
- NOW IT'S LOCKED IN PLACE.Copy !req
154. OKAY?
SO REALLY, YOU SEE—Copy !req
155. - OH, GOD!
HAROLD, ARE YOU OKAY?Copy !req
156. - WASN'T LOCKED.Copy !req
157. I HOPE OPERATORS
ARE STANDING BY,Copy !req
158. BECAUSE HE'S GONNA NEED
A RIDE TO THE HOSPITAL.Copy !req
159. INFOMERCIALS ARE GREAT.Copy !req
160. WHAT ELSE ARE YOU GONNA
WATCH AT 3:00 A.M.?Copy !req
161. CARSON DALY?Copy !req
162. SOMEONE JUST GOT OUT
OF THE ROOM.Copy !req
163. THE WRONG END,
THE WRONG END.Copy !req
164. MY FAVORITE PART
OF INFOMERCIALS?Copy !req
165. THE PITCHMEN.Copy !req
166. I DON'T CARE THAT THE GUY'S
SELLING A SPONGECopy !req
167. SHAPED LIKE A PAPER TOWEL
BEAT UP A HOOKER.Copy !req
168. OR THAT MY LAUNDRY HAS
NEVER BEEN CLEANERCopy !req
169. THANKS TO A GUY
THAT LOVES WHITE POWDER.Copy !req
170. AND I'M NOT
TALKING ABOUT OXICLEAN.Copy !req
171. R.I.P., BILLY.Copy !req
172. I HOPE THEY BURIED YOU
IN A SNUGGIE.Copy !req
173. WHICH, FOR THE RECORD,
IS JUST A BACKWARDS ROBECopy !req
174. FOR MORONS WHO DON'T MIND
STRIPPING DOWN TO PEE NAKED.Copy !req
175. EVERY TIME I SEE
AN INFOMERCIAL,Copy !req
176. I THINK, "HOW MUCH IS THIS
CRAP GONNA COST ME?"Copy !req
177. MY GUESS IS $1 MILLION.
NO?Copy !req
178. IMAGINE MY SHOCK
AND SURPRISECopy !req
179. WHEN IT GOES FOR $9.99.Copy !req
180. THEN THEY'RE
THROWING IN A TONCopy !req
181. OF OTHER SLIGHTLY-RELATED
ITEMS FOR THE SAME PRICE,Copy !req
182. AND SUDDENLY YOU'D BE
LOSING MONEYCopy !req
183. IF YOU DIDN'T BUY IT.Copy !req
184. ALL I WANTED TO DO
WAS SET IT AND FORGET IT!Copy !req
185. NOW I'M RUNNING A GODDAMN
BOSTON MARKET IN MY KITCHEN.Copy !req
186. THAT'S WHY WE PAID
HAROLD MCCOOCopy !req
187. THREE EASY PAYMENTS OF $206,Copy !req
188. PLUS SHIPPING AND HANDLING,Copy !req
189. TO COME TO HOLLYWOOD
FOR THIS WEEK'S WEB REDEMPTION.Copy !req
190. - HEY, DANIEL.Copy !req
191. - HEY, HAROLD.
- HOW ARE YOU?Copy !req
192. - I'M DOING GOOD.
JUST DOING THE WINDOWS.Copy !req
193. - I SEE THAT.Copy !req
194. I'LL BE RIGHT DOWN.Copy !req
195. WAS IT LOCKED?Copy !req
196. - NO.
IT WASN'T LOCKED.Copy !req
197. - THE FLEX-O-LADDER.Copy !req
198. I'D LIKE TO THINK THAT YOU OWN
THIS COMPANY NOW.Copy !req
199. - DID YOU SUE 'EM?Copy !req
200. - THE THING IS,
IT WASN'T LOCKED.Copy !req
201. - I KNOW.
WE ALL KNOW.Copy !req
202. - SO THAT'S NOT
THE COMPANY'S FAULT.Copy !req
203. - HOW LONG AFTER THAT CLIP
DID YOU QUIT?Copy !req
204. - I DIDN'T QUIT.Copy !req
205. THEY SHUT
THE WHOLE NETWORK DOWN.Copy !req
206. - BECAUSE OF THAT INCIDENT?Copy !req
207. - NO.
NOT BECAUSE—Copy !req
208. - I WOULD HAVE LOVED FOR YOU
TO BRING THE WHOLE EMPIRE DOWNCopy !req
209. BECAUSE OF ONE FAULTY LADDER.Copy !req
210. ARE YOU MAD THAT IT
POPPED UP ON YOUTUBE?Copy !req
211. - WHEN I STARTED LOOKING
AT SOME OF THE COMMENTS,Copy !req
212. THEN I REALLY GOT SICK,Copy !req
213. 'CAUSE SOME OF THESE PEOPLE
IT'S AS IF THEY HAVE NO LIFE.Copy !req
214. SO THEY GO TO YOUTUBE,
LOOK AT STUFF.Copy !req
215. - WELCOME TO THE INTERNET.Copy !req
216. - AND IT'S IRONIC
THAT ALL THE THINGSCopy !req
217. I'VE DONE IN THE INDUSTRY,
YOU KNOW,Copy !req
218. LEGITIMATE HARD-CORE NEWS,Copy !req
219. DOING REPORTING,
AND ANCHORING, AND TALK SHOWS,Copy !req
220. INTERNATIONAL PRINT WORK,
YOU KNOW, B.E.T. NETWORK.Copy !req
221. - I'M FAMILIAR?
- OH, YEAH?Copy !req
222. - YES.
THEY LET ME WATCH.Copy !req
223. - OF ALL THAT,
THE ONE THINGCopy !req
224. THAT NOW IS SPLATTERED
ALL OVER THE INTERNETCopy !req
225. IS THIS LITTLE INCIDENT
WITH THIS LADDER COLLAPSING.Copy !req
226. - WELL, A CLOSE SECOND,
IN MY BOOK,Copy !req
227. WOULD BE SOME OF THAT
INTERNATIONAL PRINT WORK.Copy !req
228. I'D LIKE TO GIVE YOU
A FEW PRODUCTS,Copy !req
229. GET YOU BACK UP
ON THAT HORSE—Copy !req
230. LADDER—Copy !req
231. AND SEE HOW WELL
YOU CAN SELL THEM.Copy !req
232. AND IF YOU DO
GET HURT THIS TIME,Copy !req
233. I PROMISE YOU WE WILL SEND YOU
A FREE LADDER.Copy !req
234. NO, YOU CAN SUE.Copy !req
235. YOU COULD SUE
IF YOU GOT HURT TODAY,Copy !req
236. THAT'S FOR SURE.
- YEAH.Copy !req
237. - THAT IS ON TAPE.Copy !req
238. OKAY, THE WORLD
WANTS TO KNOW,Copy !req
239. ARE YOU READY
TO GIVE IT ANOTHER SHOT?Copy !req
240. - I'M READY.
ARE YOU GUYS READY?Copy !req
241. - WHAT DO YOU GOT FOR US?Copy !req
242. - THE SHAMWOW,Copy !req
243. THE MOST ABSORBENT
TOWEL EVER.Copy !req
244. CHECK IT OUT.Copy !req
245. - WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
- OH, YES.Copy !req
246. - OH!Copy !req
247. - YOU'LL SAY "WOW"
EVERY TIME...Copy !req
248. - WOW!
- WITH THE SHAMWOW.Copy !req
249. BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE.
- OH, MAN.Copy !req
250. - WHO DOESN'T WANT
TIGHT, TONED, SIX-PACK ABS?Copy !req
251. - I DO!
- WITH THE AB LOUNGE,Copy !req
252. THEY'VE NEVER BEEN
EASIER TO GET.Copy !req
253. - I CAN FEEL IT WORKING!Copy !req
254. - BUT WAIT,
THERE'S MORE.Copy !req
255. - YOU'VE GOT
TO BE KIDDING ME!Copy !req
256. - I'M NOT.
IT'S THE GINSU KNIFE.Copy !req
257. BY FAR THE BEST,
THE SHARPEST KNIFECopy !req
258. YOU'LL EVER OWN.Copy !req
259. - THAT WENT THROUGH
LIKE BUTTER.Copy !req
260. - BUT WAIT,
THERE'S MORE.Copy !req
261. - THE POWER JUICER,
THE ULTIMATE JUICING MACHINE.Copy !req
262. BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE!Copy !req
263. - MORE?Copy !req
264. - THE SNUGGIE.Copy !req
265. - IT'S SO SOFT!Copy !req
266. - BUT WAIT,
THERE'S MORE.Copy !req
267. - OH, I WILL HIT YOU.Copy !req
268. - THE FLEX-O-LADDER.
- THE FLEX-O-LADDER?Copy !req
269. ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE READY
FOR THE FLEX-O-LADDER?Copy !req
270. - I'M SURE.Copy !req
271. - ARE YOU SURE IT'S LOCKED?Copy !req
272. - IT'S LOCKED.Copy !req
273. - WELL, THEN WHY ELSE
WOULD YOU GO OVERCopy !req
274. A BUNCH OF PUPPIES
AND BABIESCopy !req
275. UNLESS YOU WERE
COMPLETELY SURE?Copy !req
276. - SEE, NOW IT'S
LOCKED IN PLACE, OKAY?Copy !req
277. - THE FLEX-O-LADDER!Copy !req
278. THE FLEX-O-LADDER!Copy !req
279. GOOD JOB.Copy !req
280. ALL FOR $19.95.Copy !req
281. BABIES AND PUPPIES
NOT INCLUDED.Copy !req
282. OH, MY GOODNESS.Copy !req
283. FUNNY BEHIND-THE-SCENES STORY.Copy !req
284. WE HAD SO MANY MORE BABIES
ON THE FIRST TAKE.Copy !req
285. ALL RIGHT, THAT MAKES
16 WEB REDEMPTIONS THIS SEASON,Copy !req
286. AND IT HASN'T
BEEN EASY ON MECopy !req
287. MENTALLY, PHYSICALLY,
OR SPIRITUALLY.Copy !req
288. THEY TAKE A LOT
OUT OF ME.Copy !req
289. SO LET'S TAKE A LOOK BACK
AT HOW I PERSONALLYCopy !req
290. AND SINGLE-HANDEDLY,Copy !req
291. WITHOUT THE HELP OF ANYBODY
ELSE ON THIS SHOW,Copy !req
292. CHANGED THE LIVES OF SO MANY
POOR WRETCHED SOULS.Copy !req
293. HERE'S TO GREAT
WEB REDEMPTIONS.Copy !req
294. THE WORLD WANTS TO KNOW...Copy !req
295. ARE YOU READY TO GIVE IT
ANOTHER SHOT?Copy !req
296. - I THINK SO.
- I THINK SO.Copy !req
297. - YEAH.
- YES.Copy !req
298. - I'M READY.
- YEAH.Copy !req
299. - I'M READY.
- OH, I'M DEFINITELY READY.Copy !req
300. - I'M READY.
- THINK SO.Copy !req
301. - LET'S DO IT.
- HELL YEAH, I'M READY TO GO.Copy !req
302. - LET'S GO.
- YES.Copy !req
303. - I'M READY.
- I'M READY.Copy !req
304. ARE YOU GUYS READY?Copy !req
305. - DO NOT THIS UP.Copy !req
306. EVERYONE DESERVES
A SECOND CHANCE.Copy !req
307. THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL.Copy !req
308. GOD, THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL.Copy !req
309. MEMORIES.Copy !req
310. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK
WITH A FUN NEW WAYCopy !req
311. TO DO WATERBOARDING.Copy !req
312. BUT BEFORE WE GO, IT'S TIME
FOR THE PRANK OF THE WEEK.Copy !req
313. - GO.Copy !req
314. male announcer: AND THAT WAS
THE PRANK OF THE WEEKCopy !req
315. BROUGHT TO YOU BY HTC.Copy !req
316. YOU DON'T NEED TO GET A PHONE.Copy !req
317. YOU NEED A PHONE
THAT GETS YOU.Copy !req
318. - I'M GETTING READY TO EAT
40 PIZZA ROLLS.Copy !req
319. THAT WAS A GOOD ONE, GUYS.Copy !req
320. IF YOU HAVE ANY OTHER CHALLENGE
YOU WANT ME TO TRY,Copy !req
321. HIT ME UP.Copy !req
322. I'LL SEE IF I CAN DO IT.Copy !req
323. DAMN, THAT WAS ROUGH.Copy !req
324. - YEAH, IT WAS ROUGH
TO WATCH TOO, JUSTIN.Copy !req
325. SO YOU'RE LOOKING
FOR CHALLENGES, HUH?Copy !req
326. EVER HEAR OF
CHICKEN IN A CAN?Copy !req
327. IT COMES FULLY COOKED.
KINDA GROSS, RIGHT?Copy !req
328. WELL, THERE'S YOUR CHALLENGE.Copy !req
329. I MAILED HIM SIX CANS.
BON APPETIT.Copy !req
330. - HEY, DANIEL,
I REVIEWED YOUR CHALLENGE.Copy !req
331. SAD TO SAY,
I'M GONNA DOMINATECopy !req
332. THIS CHICKEN
IN A CAN FOR YOU.Copy !req
333. I'D LIKE SOME MEAT ON THIS.Copy !req
334. ALL RIGHT, THERE WE GO.Copy !req
335. I'M LUCKY.Copy !req
336. TWO CHICKENS IN THE CAN.Copy !req
337. ALL RIGHT,
THIS IS JUSTIN.Copy !req
338. CAMERAMAN WAS TREVOR.
AND WE ARE OUT.Copy !req
339. - OH, THANK YOU, JUSTIN.Copy !req
340. MAN, YOU WERE GREAT
IN SEVEN.Copy !req
341. JUSTIN IS NOT THE ONLY
HUGE THING ON THE INTERNET.Copy !req
342. THERE'S ALSO WATERBOARDING.Copy !req
343. PEOPLE ALWAYS DEBATE,
IS IT TORTURE?Copy !req
344. I DON'T KNOW,
BUT I FIGURED OUT A WAYCopy !req
345. TO MAKE IT
A LOT MORE REFRESHING—Copy !req
346. BY REPLACING WATER
WITH LEMONADE.Copy !req
347. I TESTED IT OUT
ON MY GOOD FRIEND,Copy !req
348. COMEDIAN TODD GLASS,
AND I HOPE WE CAN ALL AGREECopy !req
349. THAT LEMONADE BOARDING,
WHILE DELIGHTFULLY TANGY,Copy !req
350. IS ALSO AN EFFECTIVE WAY
TO EXTRACT INFORMATION.Copy !req
351. ARE CODE WORD, OKAY?Copy !req
352. - OH.Copy !req
353. OH, NO.Copy !req
354. - IF YOU NEED TO STOP,
YELL THAT WORD.Copy !req
355. - [bleep, bleep]!Copy !req
356. OH, MY GOD.Copy !req
357. IS IT AWFUL?Copy !req
358. - MY EYES ARE BURNINGCopy !req
359. FROM THE LEMONADECopy !req
360. BEFORE THE WATERBOARDING
BOTHERED ME.Copy !req
361. HOLY.Copy !req
362. THAT'S ALL I COULD DO?Copy !req
363. - IF YOU THINK
YOU CAN TAKE MORE...Copy !req
364. NO, KNOCK IT OFF.
NO.Copy !req
365. IF YOU THINK YOU CAN
GUESS OUR SAFE WORD,Copy !req
366. FEEL FREE TO TRY AT
COMEDYCENTRAL.COM/TOSH.0.Copy !req
367. AND WHILE YOU'RE THERE,
UPLOAD YOUR OWN VIDEOCopy !req
368. FOR A CHANCE TO BE
OUR VIEWER VIDEO OF THE WEEK.Copy !req
369. THIS WEEK'S WINNER
IS BERNICE,Copy !req
370. AND SHE'S FROM OAKLAND.Copy !req
371. Daniel and audience:
♪ SITTING ON A TOILETCopy !req
372. - WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.Copy !req
373. ♪ SITTING ON A TOILETCopy !req
374. - WITH STAND-UP STAND-UP
WITH WALI COLLINS.Copy !req
375. ♪ SITTING ON A TOILETCopy !req
376. I'M GONNA REMIX
THE OUTTA THAT.Copy !req
377. FEEL FREE TO SEND US
YOUR BEST VERSION.Copy !req
378. I DON'T CARE.Copy !req
379. ALL RIGHT, YOU GUYS KNOW ME
AS THE HOST OF TOSH.0,Copy !req
380. BUT WHAT YOU MAY NOT KNOWCopy !req
381. IS THAT I AM THE CURRENT
UNDEFEATED CHAMPIONCopy !req
382. OF THE COMEDY CENTRAL
ARM WRESTLING LEAGUE.Copy !req
383. YEAH.
DON'T BELIEVE IT?Copy !req
384. WHAT IF I TOLD YOU
I SPEND HUNDREDS OF DOLLARSCopy !req
385. ON MY OWN ARM WRESTLING TABLE?Copy !req
386. IT'S ABOUT 150 ACTUALLY.Copy !req
387. STILL NOT CONVINCED?Copy !req
388. WELL, HERE'S SOME OF
MY HIGHLIGHTS, MOTHER.Copy !req
389. I AM GONNA RUIN
THIS OLD MAN.Copy !req
390. READY?
GO.Copy !req
391. OH, THERE IT IS.Copy !req
392. AHH!Copy !req
393. - GO.Copy !req
394. - OHH!
AHH!Copy !req
395. - READY, SET, WRESTLE.Copy !req
396. - OH!Copy !req
397. - WAH!Copy !req
398. - GO.Copy !req
399. - OH.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?Copy !req
400. - WRESTLE.Copy !req
401. - AH!Copy !req
402. - WRESTLE.Copy !req
403. - AHH!Copy !req
404. - WHAT?Copy !req
405. - IT IS THE TRIGGER.Copy !req
406. THAT'S WHAT THEY CALL IT.Copy !req
407. UNH!Copy !req
408. YOU'RE NEXT, LINCOLN HAWK.Copy !req
409. THAT'S RIGHT, TURN YOUR HAT
AROUND ALL YOU WANT.Copy !req
410. I'M TAKING YOUR SON
AND YOUR CHAMPIONSHIP.Copy !req
411. THANKS FOR WATCHING.Copy !req
412. MAKE SURE YOU FOLLOW ME
ON TWITTERCopy !req
413. SO WE CAN LIVE CHAT
DURING THE SHOWS.Copy !req
414. AND DON'T SEND ME
TOO MANY QUESTIONS.Copy !req
415. FLYING DUTCHMAN,
I'M TAKING TO YOU.Copy !req
416. I'M NOT ANSWERING YOUR TWEETS
BECAUSE YOU'RE A MORON.Copy !req
417. NOW CHECK OUT MY TOUR SCHEDULECopy !req
418. AND MAKE SURE YOU KEEP UP
WITH OUR DAILY BLOGCopy !req
419. AT COMEDYCENTRAL.COM/TOSH.0.Copy !req
420. IT'S BEEN A GREAT SEASON,Copy !req
421. AND I'VE MADE A LOT
OF GOOD FRIENDS.Copy !req
422. UH, THAT GUY THAT SITS
NEXT TO THE CAMERA.Copy !req
423. THAT LADY THAT COOKS.Copy !req
424. UH, I HAVE A WRITER
THAT HAS A FAMILY.Copy !req
425. THE POINT IS
THESE ARE RELATIONSHIPSCopy !req
426. THAT I WILL TREASURE
FOREVER.Copy !req
427. AND NOW IT'S TIMECopy !req
428. FOR OUR BIG
CLIFFHANGER ENDING.Copy !req
429. - SARAH, PLEASE.Copy !req
430. - NO!
I'M SLIPPING, GABE!Copy !req
431. GABE, DON'T LET ME FALL! NO!
- NO!Copy !req
432. - HOLD ON, WALKER.Copy !req
433. DON'T LET HER GO.Copy !req
434. THAT MOVIE IS SO SUSPENSEFUL.Copy !req
435. WILL HE BE ABLE TO HOLD ON?Copy !req
436. TUNE IN NEXT SEASON
TO FIND OUT.Copy !req
437. GOOD NIGHT.Copy !req
438. - BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE.Copy !req
439. - YOU'RE GONNA GIVE ME
A HEART ATTACK.Copy !req
440. - THROW THAT
FOOD PROCESSOR AWAY.Copy !req
441. - I WILL.
- THE SLAP CHOP...Copy !req
442. - I'M GONNA THROW IT AWAY.
- GETS IT DONE QUICKER.Copy !req
443. - OH, MY GOODNESS!
- YES! YES!Copy !req
444. - AH!Copy !req
445. SALSA!Copy !req
446. - BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE.Copy !req
447. - OH, MY GOODNESS.
- YES!Copy !req
448. - I'M COMING FOR YOU, HONEY.
I'M COMING FOR YOU.Copy !req
449. - ELIZABETH.Copy !req
450. - WHAT, WEEZIE?
- ELIZABETH.Copy !req