1. - HI.
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2. AAH!
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3. - YAY.
THANK YOU.
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4. ALL RIGHT.
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5. IN HER DEFENSE,
HE DID RUIN HER VAGINA.
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6. I'M JUST GLAD THAT SOMEONE
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7. STILL DISCIPLINES
THEIR CHILDREN.
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8. I PLAN ON SPANKING MY KIDS
IN THE FACE
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9. WHEN A COURT FINALLY PROVES
THEY'RE MINE.
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10. WELCOME TO TOSH.0.
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11. WAVE YOUR HANDS
IN THE AIR.
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12. BUT THIS TIME, WAVE THEM
LIKE YOU DO CARE...
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13. BECAUSE THIS IS OUR SPECIAL
HALLOWEEN EPISODE.
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14. WHICH REALLY MEANS
WE'RE JUST GONNA BE SHOWING
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15. A FEW MORE DISGUSTING VIDEOS
THAN NORMAL.
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16. ARE YOU SCARED YET?
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17. TODAY, WE GIVE THE NINTENDO 64
KID A WEB REDEMPTION,
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18. I SHOW OTHER WAYS TO DO
"FIRE IN THE HOLE" VIDEOS,
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19. AND I'LL BE SHOWING YOU
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20. THE MOST
DISTURBING/SCARIEST THING
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21. YOU'VE EVER SEEN
ON TELEVISION.
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22. AND, NO, IT'S NOT
FERGIE'S FACE IN HD.
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23. AAH!
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24. SO GROSS.
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25. SPEAKING OF AWFUL BANDS,
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26. I'M SURE THIS GUY'S
THE LEADER SINGER OF ONE.
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27. HIS OTHER COOL TRICK
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28. IS GETTING PEOPLE LATTES.
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29. THE UP SIDE TO DOING THIS
TO YOUR TONGUE
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30. IS YOU CAN GET TO THE CENTER
OF A TOOTSIE POP
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31. IN HALF THE TIME.
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32. ACCORDING TO AN OWL,
WHOSE ROUGH ESTIMATE WAS THREE.
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33. ALL RIGHT, THAT WAS ROUGH.
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34. HOW ABOUT SOMETHING A LITTLE
MORE FUN TO LOOK AT.
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35. AW!
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36. SEE, I'M A PROUD OWNER
OF A GAYISH LOOKING DOG,
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37. BUT AT LEAST I DON'T
TAKE IT TO THIS LEVEL.
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38. - YOU SHOWING OFF
YOUR HALLOWEEN COSTUMES?
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39. PIXIE, ARE YOU
PRINCESS LEIA?
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40. - NEXT YEAR, INSTEAD OF
PUTTING US IN THESE COSTUMES,
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41. HOW ABOUT YOU TAKE US
TO THE POUND
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42. AND GET US EUTHANIZED?
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43. - WICKET,
ARE YOU DARTH VADER?
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44. - ARE YOU GUYS THERE?
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45. SEEMS LIKE THAT GUY
THE FORCE
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46. RIGHT OUT OF PIXIE AND WICKET.
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47. - DON'T GET MAD AT ME.
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48. MOMMY'S THE ONE
WHO BOUGHT THE COSTUMES.
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49. - AND BY "MOMMY",
HE MEANS "BOYFRIEND".
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50. ALL RIGHT, IT'S TIME
FOR OUR PIC OF THE WEEK.
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51. [singing off-key]
♪ NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH
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52. I'M DOING IT NOT COMPLETELY
LIKE THE ORIGINAL
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53. SO THAT WE CAN ACTUALLY
AIR THAT ON TELEVISION.
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54. BECAUSE THEY OWN
♪ NAH NAH NAH NAH
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55. SO I HAVE TO DO IT...
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56. [off-key]
♪ NAH NAH NAH NAH
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57. LIKE I'M TONE DEAF.
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58. BUT I KNOW THE RIGHT WAY
TO DO IT.
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59. BAT!
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60. OH!
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61. - DON'T GET EXCITED, LADIES.
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62. HE'S FRUIT BAT.
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63. LET'S GET 20 SECONDS
ON THE CLOCK
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64. AND SEE HOW MANY FUNNY
COMMENTS WE CAN POST.
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65. SOMEONE'S SUPER EXCITED
FOR THE NEW TWILIGHT MOVIE.
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66. PEEING WITH MORNING WOOD
IS REALLY EASY
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67. WHEN YOU HANG UPSIDE DOWN.
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68. I FEEL BAD FOR ASIAN BATS.
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69. GREAT. A BAT THAT CAN GIVE YOU
RABIES AND AN STD.
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70. IT'S LIKE NICOLE RICHIE.
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71. OH!
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72. LOOKS LIKE ALL THE BLOOD HE'S
SUCKED IS RUSHING TO HIS JUNK.
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73. HMM. PERFECT TIMING.
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74. ALL RIGHT, HOW ABOUT AN ANIMAL
WITH A SLIGHTLY SMALLER PENIS?
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75. IT'S JUST A SHEEP
WITH A MASK ON IT, YOU IDIOT.
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76. THEY'RE ALL SCARED.
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77. IF THEY THINK THIS IS
THE WORST PART OF THE DAY,
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78. WAIT'LL THEY GET
TO THE SLAUGHTERHOUSE.
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79. AW!
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80. - I KNOW.
THEY'RE ALL TERRIFIED.
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81. IT'S LIKE WATCHING BILL MAHER
CHASE GIRLS AT A CLUB.
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82. ALL RIGHT, WHAT'S NEXT?
A HIDDEN CAMERA SHOW?
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83. OKAY, THIS SHOULD BE BORING.
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84. OH!
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85. - YES!
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86. THAT'S WHAT YOU GET
FOR WEARING SUNGLASSES INSIDE,
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87. YOU ASS.
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88. WE'RE GONNA
FILL IN THE BLANKS
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89. SO WHEN HE WAKES UP
WE CAN EXPLAIN TO HIM
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90. WHAT HAPPENED
IN THIS WEEK'S BREAKDOWN.
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91. HIDDEN CAMERA SHOWS
ARE AWFUL.
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92. BUT WHEN A PRANK
GOES REALLY WRONG,
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93. IT SUDDENLY BECOME
WATCHABLE.
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94. THIS IS IN BELGIUM,
WHICH OF COURSE
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95. IS KNOWN FOR THEIR WAFFLES
AND BLACK BELTS.
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96. HERE WE HAVE A GUY ATTEMPTING
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97. THE OLD "NET OVER A TOTAL
STRANGER'S HEAD AT THE MALL
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98. THEN RUNNING THROUGH
A CROWD OF NINJAS" GAG.
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99. IT'S A CLASSIC.
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100. WHAT HE FORGOT TO REALIZE IS
THAT SPRINTING THROUGH A MALL
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101. MAKES YOU LOOK LIKE
A CRIMINAL.
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102. HE'S AT THE 30, THE 20—
DECAPITATED.
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103. THAT WAS AWESOME.
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104. LET'S SEE IT AGAIN.
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105. OH!
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106. - OH! WHY COULDN'T HAVE THIS
BEEN DAX SHEPARD?
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107. I WANTED TO DO A B.J. NOVAK
REFERENCE THERE,
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108. BUT NOBODY CARES
WHO HE IS.
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109. ALL RIGHT, LET'S SEE IT AGAIN
IN SLO-MO.
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110. OH!
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111. - THIS IS A LESSON
TO ALL YOU DOUCHE BAGS
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112. AND IMPROV TROOPS.
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113. TAKE YOUR COMEDY GOLD
TO THE OUTLET MALLS
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114. WHERE IT'S JUST FAT
POOR PEOPLE WADDLING AROUND.
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115. THANK GOODNESS THE MANAGER
OF CINNABON CAME RUNNING OVER.
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116. TO POINT OUT
THAT THERE'S TWO GUYS
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117. WEARING THE SAME
GAY MIME SHIRT.
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118. ALSO, YOU KNOW
WHAT MAKES ME FEEL BETTER
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119. AFTER MY FACE
HAS BEEN VIOLATED?
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120. WHEN MY ATTACKER
GENTLY RUBS MY BACK...
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121. AND WHISPERS IN MY EAR
THAT I DESERVE THIS.
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122. LUCKY FOR US,
EUROPEAN COPYRIGHT LAWS
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123. ARE PRETTY, PRETTY...
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124. PRETTY LENIENT.
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125. WHICH MEANS GEMS LIKE THIS
END UP ON THE INTERNET,
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126. AND FOR THAT,
WE THANK YOU.
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127. COMING UP, WE GIVE
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128. THE NINTENDO 64 KID
A WEB REDEMPTION.
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129. BUT FIRST, HERE'S THE CUTEST
VIDEO I'VE EVER SEEN.
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130. PAY CLOSE ATTENTION,
TURN THE VOLUME UP,
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131. BECAUSE I'M PRETTY SURE
AT THE END, ONE OF THOSE CATS
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132. MAKES A SLIGHTLY
RACIST REMARK.
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133. - RARGH!
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134. - NINTENDO 64!
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135. OH, MY GOD!
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136. - THANK YOU, SANTA!
- OH, MY GOD!
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137. OH, MY GOD!
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138. - I THINK THEY'RE EXCITED.
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139. - YES!
- OH, YES!
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140. - YES! YES!
- YES! YES!
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141. - YES! YES! YES!
- YES! YES! YES! YES!
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142. - I HAVEN'T BEEN THAT EXCITED
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143. SINCE THE TIME
PETER, STEWIE AND I
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144. WENT TRICK OR TREATING
AT CHRISTOPHER REEVE'S HOUSE.
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145. NO CUTAWAY? UGH.
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146. THIS WOULD BE SO MUCH FUNNIER
IF I WAS A CARTOON.
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147. HEY, I DON'T BLAME THIS KID
FOR GETTING EXCITED.
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148. THAT'S NINTENDO EFFING 64.
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149. YOU EVER PLAY GOLDENEYE?
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150. WELL, IF YOU DID,
YOU'D UNDERSTAND.
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151. I LOVE CHRISTMAS.
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152. IT MIGHT BE
MY FAVORITE HOLIDAY.
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153. RIGHT AFTER YOM KIPPUR.
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154. DID I SAY THAT RIGHT?
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155. SOME PEOPLE COMPLAIN
ABOUT CHRISTMAS.
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156. LIKE, OH,
IT'S TOO COMMERCIAL,
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157. OR JESUS WASN'T REALLY BORN
ON DECEMBER 25.
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158. YOU KNOW WHAT?
SHUT UP!
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159. CHRISTMAS RULES.
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160. MY FAVORITE MEMORIES AREN'T
OF THINGS I GOT.
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161. MINE ARE OF WATCHING
MY SISTER HAVE MELTDOWNS
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162. OVER THINGS
SHE DIDN'T GET.
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163. GREATEST PRESENT
I EVER RECEIVED—A GO-KART.
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164. WHY IS MY HAT BACKWARDS?
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165. FRED DURST PHASE.
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166. I DIDN'T GO CRAZY
WHEN I GOT IT, EITHER.
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167. I CELEBRATED THE RIGHT WAY
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168. BY DESTROYING MY DAD'S YARD
DOING DONUTS.
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169. THINGS WOULD BE TERRIBLE
ABOUT CHRISTMAS.
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170. FOR ONE, MY FRIEND NATHAN
WOULDN'T WORK.
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171. AND THAT GOES DOUBLE
FOR TIM ALLEN.
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172. WE'D BE DEPRIVED OF CLASSIC
BEN AFFLECK MOVIES
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173. LIKE SURVIVING CHRISTMAS
AND REINDEER GAMES,
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174. WHICH TO THIS DAY
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175. IS A TRADITION
IN THE TOSH HOUSEHOLD.
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176. THERE'D BE NO MISTLETOE,
WHICH IS THE ONLY PLANT
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177. THAT LEGALLY ALLOWS YOU
TO MOUTH-RAPE YOUR COWORKER
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178. AT THE OFFICE PARTY.
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179. THAT IS A FACT.
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180. POOR PEOPLE LOVE CHRISTMAS.
IT DISTRACTS THEM.
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181. IT'S THE ONE TIME OF THE YEAR
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182. THEY CAN GET SOMETHING
FOR NOTHING.
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183. LOOK AT THIS KID.
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184. HE'S JUST SITTING AROUND
IN HIS FOOTIE PAJAMAS
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185. AND SUDDENLY HE'S HANDED
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186. THE GREATEST 64-BIT CONSOLE
EVER MADE.
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187. THAT'S THE GREAT THING
ABOUT AMERICA.
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188. COOL JUST DROPS
IN YOUR LAP FOR NO REASON.
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189. LIKE THE NOBEL PEACE PRICE.
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190. BESIDES, THE ONLY REASON
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191. PARENTS BUY THEIR KIDS
VIDEO GAMES
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192. IS SO THEY'LL GO TO THEIR
ROOM FOR THE NEXT SIX YEARS.
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193. THERE'S A WAY TO BEHAVE
WHEN YOU RECEIVE GIFTS,
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194. AND THIS ISN'T IT.
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195. THAT'S WHY WE BROUGHT
THE NINTENDO 64 KID OUT
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196. TO FACE HIS GHOST
OF CHRISTMAS PAST
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197. IN THIS WEEK'S
WEB REDEMPTION.
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198. - KEEP 'EM CLOSED.
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199. ALL RIGHT,
OPEN YOUR EYES.
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200. - OH!
- AH!
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201. IT'S FAKE CHRISTMAS!
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202. - HOW OLD ARE YOU?
- 20.
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203. - HOW OLD WERE YOU
IN THAT VIDEO?
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204. - I WAS SEVEN.
- SEVEN! OH!
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205. HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE
THE JOY YOU HAD THAT MORNING
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206. TO ONE OF
YOUR JEWISH FRIENDS?
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207. - I HAVE NO IDEA
HOW TO ANSWER THAT.
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208. I MEAN, THEY WILL NEVER
EXPERIENCE THAT.
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209. BMW BOUGHT THAT VIDEO?
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210. - YEAH.
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211. GOT A CALL ALL OF A SUDDEN,
AND IT WAS LIKE
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212. BMW WANTED THIS VIDEO.
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213. - HOW MUCH DID THEY PAY YOU?
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214. - A GOOD AMOUNT.
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215. - OVER 5,000?
- YEAH.
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216. - OVER 10,000?
- YEAH.
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217. - OVER 20,000?
- OH, YEAH.
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218. - HOLY.
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219. DID YOU GET OVER $50,000
FOR THAT COMMERCIAL?
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220. - NO, THAT WAS IT.
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221. - HAVE YOU INVESTED
YOUR MONEY?
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222. - NO.
- NO. GOOD.
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223. YOU'RE YOUNG.
YOU'LL MAKE MORE.
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224. WHO PUT THE VIDEO ONLINE?
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225. - I PUT IT ON MY WEB SITE.
- UH-HUH.
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226. - AND THEN SOMEONE SAW IT
ON THERE AND PUT IT ON YOUTUBE.
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227. - HOW OFTEN DO YOU GO ONLINE
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228. AND READ THE COMMENTS
PEOPLE POSTED UNDER YOUR VIDEO?
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229. - I THINK I STOPPED
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230. AFTER THEY STARTED TALKING
ABOUT RAILING MY SISTER.
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231. OH!
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232. YEAH, THAT'S ALWAYS
A TOUGH ONE TO HANDLE.
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233. DO YOU—DO YOU TELL PEOPLE
IMMEDIATELY THAT'S—
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234. - NO. I USUALLY
DON'T TELL PEOPLE AT ALL.
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235. - REALLY?
- YEAH.
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236. - I WONDER IF YOU COULD
ACTUALLY GET LAID
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237. OFF OF A REACTION YOU HAD
WHEN YOU WERE SEVEN YEARS OLD.
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238. - THAT'D BE TIGHT.
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239. THAT WOULD BE INCREDIBLE.
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240. OKAY, OUR ORIGINAL
WEB REDEMPTION IDEA
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241. WAS TO HAVE TO CALM DOWN.
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242. - HUH?
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243. - YOU KNOW,
JUST RECEIVE A GIFT
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244. LIKE A NORMAL HUMAN
AND SAY, "THANK YOU."
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245. BUT OUR GOAL NOW
IS JUST TO TEACH YOU
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246. THE TRUE MEANING OF CHRISTMAS
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247. AND THAT'S IT'S BETTER
TO GIVE THAN RECEIVE.
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248. BUT FIRST, WE ARE
GONNA BREAK FOR LUNCH.
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249. - OOH, AND THIS IS—
- HERE'S YOUR LUNCH, DANIEL.
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250. - THANK YOU, RACHEL.
WHAT DID I GET?
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251. IT'S A TURKEY SANDWICH!
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252. AAH!
IT'S A TURKEY SANDWICH!
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253. YES! YES! YES!
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254. HEY, BUDDY.
- HEY.
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255. - MY FRIEND BRANDON
HAS SOMETHING FOR YOU.
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256. - HERE, I GOT YOU SOME—
- GOD, YOU STINK!
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257. SORRY. LOOK!
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258. - WHAT THE
AM I GONNA DO WITH THIS?
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259. - YOU COULD SELL IT FOR CRACK.
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260. - SELL IT.
- LET'S BE QUITE HONEST.
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261. LET'S GET OUT OF HERE,
BRANDON. UGH!
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262. - THAT FELT GOOD.
- OF COURSE IT FELT GOOD.
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263. - COME OVER HERE.
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264. WE'VE HAD A GREAT DAY.
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265. YOU'VE LEARNED
SOME PERSPECTIVE.
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266. YOU LEARNED THE VALUE
OF GIVING AND NOT RECEIVING.
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267. SO AS A SHOW, WE WENT OUT
AND GOT YOU A GIFT
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268. FOR TOSH.0 TO YOU.
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269. YOU EXCITED?
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270. - I'M REALLY EXCITED.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT.
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271. - OKAY, THE WORLD
WANTS TO KNOW.
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272. ARE YOU READY TO GIVE IT
ANOTHER SHOT?
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273. - YES.
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274. - ALL RIGHT,
LET'S OPEN UP YOUR GIFT.
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275. - NINTENDO 64!
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276. OH, MY GOD!
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277. - ENJOY YOUR BRAND-NEW...
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278. - ARE YOU? WHAT?
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279. - SEA-DOO!
- AAH!
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280. OOOHHH, MY GOD!
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281. - YEAH, GET UP ON THERE.
ENJOY IT. IT'S YOURS.
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282. I DON'T CARE
WHAT YOU DO WITH IT.
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283. - OH, MY GOD!
- WE'RE LIKE OPRAH.
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284. - THIS IS AWESOME.
- HOW'D WE DO?
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285. - YOU—YOU DID A GREAT JOB.
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286. - RECEIVE A GIFT
LIKE A NORMAL HUMAN.
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287. SAY THANK YOU.
SAY THANK YOU.
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288. SAY THANK YOU.
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289. IT'S A PRETTY BIG
LETDOWN, I'LL ADMIT.
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290. UH...
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291. - DID WE REALLY GIVE BRANDON
A WAVERUNNER?
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292. WELL, LISTEN TO
MY ASSISTANT'S VOICE MAIL.
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293. - PLAY YOUR SAVED MESSAGES,
PRESS 8.
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294. - UM, HEY, RACHEL.
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295. IT'S BRANDON AGAIN.
THE N64 KID.
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296. IT'S BEEN TWO WEEKS NOW
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297. AND I STILL HAVEN'T RECEIVED
THAT WAVERUNNER.
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298. UH, GIVE ME A CALL BACK.
MY NUMBER IS 561-68.
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299. UH, OKAY.
THANKS. BYE.
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300. - HEY, BRANDON,
PLEASE STOP CALLING.
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301. TECHNICALLY,
THAT IS HARASSMENT.
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302. AND, NO, YOU'RE NOT GETTING
A WAVERUNNER.
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303. YOU FORGOT TO SAY THANK YOU.
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304. THOSE WERE THE RULES,
PLAIN AND SIMPLE.
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305. BESIDES, WAVERUNNERS
ARE DANGEROUS.
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306. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK
WITH THE GROSSEST THING
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307. YOU'VE EVER SEEN
ON TELEVISION.
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308. BUT BEFORE WE GO, IT'S TIME
FOR THE PRANK OF THE WEEK,
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309. AND THIS IS
A HALLOWEEN CLASSIC.
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310. - ARE YOU GOING
TRICK-OR-TREATING?
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311. - NO, PROBABLY—
- RARGH!
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312. - UH, JUST ONE MORE THING.
WHAT DID YOU GUYS WANT?
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313. - UM, ONE, TWO, THREE.
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314. FIRE IN THE HOLE!
- FIRE IN THE—
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315. - LIKE HER $7-AN-HOUR JOB
ISN'T PUNISHMENT ENOUGH.
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316. THAT WAS THE "FIRE
IN THE HOLE" PRANK.
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317. PRANK, BEING A DICK.
IT'S A GRAY AREA ONLINE.
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318. BASICALLY, IT'S WHEN PEOPLE
GO TO A DRIVE-THRU RESTAURANT,
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319. AND AS SOON AS THEY GET
THEIR ORDER,
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320. THEY TOSS IT BACK
IN THE WINDOW AND SCREAM,
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321. "FIRE IN THE HOLE!"
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322. THEY'RE PRETTY POPULAR.
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323. SO I DECIDED TO SEE
IF I COULD FIND OTHER PLACES
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324. TO DO "FIRE IN THE HOLE."
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325. FIRE IN THE HOLE!
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326. FIRE IN THE HOLE!
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327. FIRE IN THE HOLE!
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328. - ALL RIGHT, SIR,
YOU HAVE A NICE DAY
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329. AND DRIVE SAFE.
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330. - THANK YOU.
FIRE IN THE HOLE!
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331. FIRE IN THE HOLE.
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332. FIRE IN THE HOLE.
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333. KEEP IT CLOSE.
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334. FIRE IN THE HOLE!
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335. FIRE IN THE HOLE.
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336. OH, MAN, FOR THROWING
THAT TICKET IN THE COP'S FACE,
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337. I GOT A MANDATORY COURT
APPEARANCE IN POUND TOWN.
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338. 'CAUSE HE LOOKED LIKE
A STRIPPER.
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339. POUND TOWN.
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340. ALL RIGHT, LET'S GET SERIOUS
FOR A SECOND.
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341. ZIT POPPING HAS BEEN
A TREND ON GOOGLE.
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342. IT'S GOTTEN SO POPULAR
THAT TYRA BANKS
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343. TOOK SOME TIME OFF
FROM BEING UNTALENTED
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344. TO DISCUSS IT ON HER SHOW.
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345. WELL, THAT INSPIRED ME
TO TAKE SOME ACTION.
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346. IT'S ABOUT TIME YOU GUYS
HAD A GLIMPSE
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347. OF ALL THE HORRIBLE
WE HAVE TO SIFT THROUGH
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348. TO FIND FUNNY
INTERNET VIDEOS.
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349. SO GET YOUR BARF BAGS READY.
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350. YOUR REACTIONS
ARE ABOUT TO FILMED
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351. WATCHING A SEGMENT CALLED
"GUESS WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?"
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352. ALL RIGHT.
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353. HERE'S A DUDE
WITH A CYST ON HIS BACK
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354. AND A CHICK HOVERING OVER HIM
WITH AN X-ACTO KNIFE
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355. AND BAND-AIDS ON HER FINGERS.
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356. SO I ASSUME SHE'S
A LICENSED DERMATOLOGIST.
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357. CAN YOU GUESS
WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?
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358. - OH! AAH!
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359. OH, MY GOD!
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360. OH... MY...
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361. - SO IF YOU GUESSED
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362. SHE WOULD USE A KNIFE
TO SLICE AN ESCAPE ROUTE
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363. FOR ALL THE SHOULDER CHEESE,
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364. YOU'RE OFF TO A GOOD START.
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365. CAN YOU GUESS
WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?
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366. - IT'S THE WORST SMELL
I THINK I'VE EVER SMELLED
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367. IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.
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368. OH!
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369. - OH! UGH!
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370. - YES, THAT'S RIGHT.
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371. ANOTHER TABLESPOON OF PUS.
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372. AND IF YOU GUESSED
THAT THE SMELL
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373. WOULD BE RANCID ENOUGH
TO ALMOST MAKE HER PUKE
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374. ON HIS BACK, GOOD WORK!
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375. GUESS WHAT HAPPENS NEXT.
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376. - OH, MY GOD!
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377. - YEAH, A LOT MORE PUS.
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378. THE REAL THING YOU SHOULD
BE WONDERING IS
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379. HOW THE HELL THEY LET ME
PUT THIS ON TELEVISION.
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380. - OH!
- THERE'S MORE COMING OUT.
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381. - YOU WANT TO GUESS
WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?
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382. NO? TOO BAD.
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383. - UGH!
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384. - YOU'VE GOTTA BE
KIDDING ME!
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385. YOU'VE GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!
IT'S LIKE A BRAIN!
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386. - OH!
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387. YOU KNOW HOW IT'S FUN
TO LOOK AT CLOUDS
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388. AND TRY TO FIGURE OUT
WHAT SHAPES YOU SEE IN THEM?
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389. I LIKE TO PLAY THAT
WITH THIS GUY'S PUS.
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390. SHE SEES A BRAIN.
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391. I SEE A BABY ARMADILLO.
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392. AND IT'S BEAUTIFUL.
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393. ALSO, MAYBE A PAPER TOWEL
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394. ISN'T THE BEST THING
TO USE HERE.
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395. INSTEAD, I'D RECOMMEND
A SHAMWOW.
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396. NOW STOP DRY HEAVING
AND GUESS WHAT HAPPENS NEXT.
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397. - OH, IT SMELLS SO BAD.
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398. GOD, I WISH
I WOULD'VE BOUGHT GLOVES.
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399. OH!
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400. - TALK ABOUT YOUR SIXTH SENSE
STYLE TWIST ENDING.
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401. WHO COULD'VE POSSIBLY FORESEEN
THAT STILL MORE PUS AND BLOOD
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402. WOULD COME OUT OF THERE
LIKE SOFT SERVE FROYO.
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403. BUT THAT'S HOW WE PLAY
"GUESS WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?"
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404. AND TODAY, I THINK
IT'S FAIR TO SAY, WE ALL LOST.
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405. OKAY, GUYS,
IF YOU HAVE A GIANT CYST,
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406. SEND 'EM TO COMEDY CENTRAL—
NO, I'M KIDDING.
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407. IF YOU HAVE A GIANT CYST,
GO SEE A DOCTOR.
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408. IF YOU HAVE A FUNNY VIDEO,
GO TO COMEDYCENTRAL/TOSH.0
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409. AND UPLOAD IT FOR A CHANCE
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410. TO BE OUR VIEWER VIDEO
OF THE WEEK.
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411. THIS WEEK'S WINNER
IS GENIUS CAMP.
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412. - WHOA, WHOA.
YOU HEAR THAT?
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413. - SOUNDS LIKE A VOICE.
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414. - YOU CAMPING IN THERE?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
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415. - YEAH.
- YEAH, IT SOUNDS LIKE...
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416. IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU.
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417. - HEY, WHERE'S
YOUR RAIN COVER?
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418. - YEAH, THAT DOES SOUND
LIKE ME.
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419. - WHAT ARE YOU DOING
OUTSIDE THE TENT?
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420. - YO, IS THAT ME?
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421. - YEAH, IT'S ME.
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422. - YO, ME, HEY,
WHAT'S MY FAVORITE COLOR?
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423. - BLUE.
- OH, MAN, THAT IS ME.
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424. - OH, MAN, THIS IS WEIRD.
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425. - THAT'S PRETTY WEIRD.
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426. - NOT THAT WEIRD.
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427. - THANKS, GUYS.
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428. AND NOW THE MOST UNFORTUNATE
DOMAIN NAME OF THE WEEK.
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429. THIS TIME, OUR WINNER
IS AN INDUSTRIAL WEB SITE
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430. FOR AN OIL EXTRACTING COMPANY,
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431. AND THEIR ADDRESS IS
BJSERVICES.COM.
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432. ALL RIGHT, CALM DOWN.
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433. THE COMPANY WAS FOUNDED BY A GUY
NAMED BYRON JACKSON—B.J.
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434. AND IF YOU CAN BEAT
HIS PRICES,
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435. HE'LL GO DOWN ON YOU.
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436. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE
OF THE GRAHAM NORTON EFFECT.
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437. - HEY, GUYS, WELCOME BACK.
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438. I WAS JUST IN POUND TOWN.
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439. ALL RIGHT, SPEAKING OF GAY,
ROLLER-BLADING...
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440. IS A LOT LIKE HOCKEY.
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441. IT'S ONLY INTERESTING TO WATCH
WHEN SOMEBODY GETS HURTS.
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442. SO WITH THAT IN MIND,
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443. THIS NEXT CLIP SHOULD BE
REALLY FASCINATING.
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444. - OH!
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445. - KNOCK IT OFF, YOU GIRL.
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446. THE OTHER GUY FELL OFF
A CHURCH.
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447. BE SURE TO TUNE IN NEXT WEEK
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448. WHEN THE TRAMPLED CHEERLEADER
GETS A WEB REDEMPTION.
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449. SHE DIED!
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450. NO. THAT'S JUST
POOR TACKLING.
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451. REMEMBER TO FOLLOW ME
ON TWITTER
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452. SO THAT WE CAN LIVE CHAT
DURING THE SHOW.
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453. AND MAKE SURE
YOU CHECK OUT MY TOUR SCHEDULE
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454. TO SEE WHEN I'LL BE
PERFORMING NEAR YOUR HOUSE.
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455. AND GO TO OUR WEB SITE
TO SEE EXTENDED INTERVIEWS
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456. FROM OUR WEB REDEMPTIONS.
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457. AND ALSO TAKE
MY SCREAMING HEAD
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458. AND PUT IT
IN INAPPROPRIATE PLACES.
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459. YEAH. HAPPY HALLOWEEN.
I'LL SEE YOU NEXT WEEK.
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460. - I'M GONNA SHOW YOU
IT TRULY IS BETTER TO GIVE
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461. THAN TO RECEIVE.
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462. ESPECIALLY IN PRISON.
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463. I WOULD CERTAINLY
RATHER GIVE.
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464. I THINK SO.
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465. PART OF ME THINKS
THAT I WOULDN'T IN PRISON
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466. JUST BECAUSE OF THE FACT
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467. THAT I WOULD MENTALLY
HAVE TO GET AROUSED
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468. FOR THAT SITUATION,
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469. WHERE THE OTHER ONE,
I CAN JUST CRY.
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470. - AND TAKE IT.
- RIGHT.
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471. - YEAH.
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472. - MAYBE IT IS BETTER
TO RECEIVE IN PRISON.
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473. - I THINK IT'D BE
OVER FASTER.
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474. - YOU DON'T KNOW ME.
- OH.
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