Torchwood 1x2

1. Torchwood.

2. Outside the government, beyond the police.

3. Tracking down alien life on Earth and arming the human race against the future.

4. The 21 st century is when everything changes.

5. And you've gotta be ready.

6. Yes!

7. That is the last time you choose a film.

8. - I was told it was good. - I fell asleep, Rhys.

9. - What does it mean, special ops? - It's no big deal. Mostly filing.

10. Special admin really?

11. - Can we talk about something else? - Oh, come on.

12. It's your first day tomorrow. I'm excited for you.

13. - Big promotion. - Secondment.

14. You'll be brilliant.

15. - Let's have an early night. - Check, please.

16. Bloody hell. Is that plane on fire?

17. It's not a plane.

18. - Look, we haven't paid. - Come on.

19. What was that?

20. I've got to go to work.

21. Simple locate-and-cleanup operation.

22. Find that meteorite before anyone else gets their hands on it.

23. Good to see you, by the way.

24. Tosh, you found it yet?

25. - You got enough kit? - Basic tracking and surveillance.

26. The crash site.

27. With this, we can tap into CCTV networks and databases...

28. Is this CRIMINT? This is the police computer system. You shouldn't have this.

29. Might want to stop saying "you" and start saying "we".

30. Crash site is 100 metres ahead.

31. Shit. The amateurs got here first.

32. All right, usual formation.

33. - What's the usual formation? - Varies.

34. How can a usual formation vary?

35. Oh, shit.

36. - Who the hell are you? - Oh, hi. Sorry.

37. - This area's restricted. - No, it's all right. I'm with...

38. Special Ops. I'm Special Ops. Torchwood.

39. - I'm with Torchwood. - Don't mess with me, little girl.

40. - You're not with Torchwood. But even if you were... - You'd have put out the welcome banners.

41. Now, first of all, she's no little girl.

42. From where I'm standing, all the right curves in all the right places.

43. But she is Torchwood. We both are. And we'd appreciate it if you'd leave us to do the real work.

44. Shall we?

45. So let's see what we came for.

46. - What do we know? - Bog-standard space debris.

47. - That's a technical term. - Yeah, thanks.

48. So take all the readings, and let's get out of here.

49. Make yourself useful, sweetheart. Pass us the big chisel from the toolbox.

50. Not "sweetheart". Gwen. One syllable. I'm sure you can manage it.

51. Not Sweet Cheeks? Freckles? New Girl?

52. It's a shame your tool's not big enough for the job, darling. Catch.

53. Shit!

54. Owen, Tosh.

55. Put this on.

56. Eddie, is this all I get now? Your voicemail?

57. You're out with her, ain't you? You bastard, you could at least have had the decency to text.

58. I've been standing in there all on my own.

59. I'm sick of this, hanging around all the time, waiting for you to show up.

60. I wish I'd never met you. I wish I was dead. No, I wish you were dead.

61. Call me back.

62. I'm, like, " Fine, whatever."

63. - Evening, ladies. - H iya, handsome.

64. Very nice.

65. Where do you think you're going?

66. - I've been in once. Only come out to make a call. - There's no re-admission.

67. Erm...

68. Okay, then. On you go.

69. Watch and learn, boys.

70. Time, please. Let's have your glasses.

71. Let's go. This place is closing, anyway.

72. I don't even know your name. Overrated, names.

73. I don't... I don't think... I don't think I can hold off.

74. - Well, go on! - Okay.

75. God! Yes!

76. This is the best!

77. Yeah!

78. I'm so sorry. - Seriously, stop saying that.

79. But I am. I mean, really...

80. I mean, really, really sorry. God, I can't believe it.

81. Didn't they teach you health and safety in the police?

82. - You two chuck tools at each other, so I... - We didn't miss.

83. I'll sort it. Whatever's happened, I'll deal with it.

84. What do you think has happened? I mean, it was just gas, wasn't it?

85. - Can't be too bad. Can it? - Right, because gas never did anyone any harm.

86. On the plus side, we've got good evidence. Relatively undamaged.

87. On the downside, there's an alien on the loose.

88. We don't know where it is, why it's here, or what it's going to do.

89. - Give her a break. - God, this has been the worst first day ever.

90. We all make mistakes. Get over it.

91. Now we find and recover whatever came out of there.

92. This might help. N ightclub death, been phoned into 999.

93. Circumstances sound a little unusual. Might be connected.

94. Torchwood.

95. Gwen?

96. - Hi. - Bloody hell. Look at you, all posh.

97. Special Ops.

98. - We were wondering. - I meant to call. It's been a bit of a whirlwind.

99. Go on, then. Tell us all.

100. - Coming? - Yeah, sorry.

101. You can get away now. No point you freezing your arse off out here.

102. Boss of me now, are you?

103. Say hi to everyone for me.

104. This is all that's left?

105. How is that possible?

106. The question is, how did you know this used to be a body?

107. Come on, son.

108. I'm with you all the way.

109. - Bit of a shock, I tell you. - We need to see that CCTV.

110. Yeah!

111. Wow.

112. - My God! He just...

113. Came and went.

114. Now that's how I'd like to go.

115. - I'm sure we could arrange it. - How can that be?

116. It doesn't make any sense.

117. - It's not possible. - Do you know the girl's name?

118. Did the two of them arrive together or did they meet in the club?

119. Is she a regular? Would any of the other staff know her?

120. I don't know!

121. We get hundreds of people here every weekend! We don't keep tabs.

122. Thanks for your help. We've got all we need.

123. What are you talking about? We haven't got a clue. We don't even know her name.

124. We'll need a body from the cryo-chamber, close match to the dead guy's appearance.

125. Disfigure the face, dump it someplace remote, make it look like a suicide attempt.

126. You have a stash of bodies?

127. What about his family? You can't just fake his death.

128. You wanna tell his family he died screwing an alien?

129. We don't know that for sure.

130. Same elements we recorded at the crash site.

131. Traces all over the club, but strongest in this area. Something happened here.

132. It's my fault. If it weren't for me, he'd still be alive.

133. It'll get you nowhere, that sort of thinking. At least now we know a little more.

134. The alien's taken on a host body.

135. We can't let her kill again.

136. I said to them, you're putting yourselves out of work behaving like this.

137. I can get five Polish lads who'll work all day, don't take any breaks,

138. happy as sand boys, all for 56 quid above board.

139. I told N iall, I said, "Why should I bother with your moaning mates when I can get this?"

140. - Carys? - Dad.

141. Hangover from hell, is it? What did you get up to last night?

142. I can't really remember. Hammered, I was.

143. I've got to go. Tony needs the van by 9:00.

144. Good morning, and we have a few hold-ups...

145. You in tonight?

146. So what's this supposed to do?

147. I'm using satellite tracking data to determine the inward trajectory of the meteorite.

148. He means he's trying to find out where it's come from.

149. Hey, sometimes a little techno-babble is good for the soul.

150. - So this is like a route planner? - Not far off.

151. Rhys, my boyfriend, he's a transport manager.

152. He does this sort of stuff, on a slightly smaller scale, though.

153. - You have a boyfriend? - Yeah.

154. - Have you? - Don't have time with this job.

155. What about you, you seeing anyone?

156. You've gotta be joking! I can get all the grief I need here.

157. - None of you have partners? - Just you, newbie.

158. I'm not being rude or anything, but...

159. Well, maybe I am but, how do you switch off from all this stuff?

160. What do you do to relax?

161. I torture people in happy relationships.

162. Gas traces confirmed as vorax and ceranium.

163. Great my two favourite gasses. Can we do a check and find out what we know about them?

164. - I'm all over it. What's this doing?

165. I've taken an image of the girl from the CCTV footage,

166. this crosschecks her face with the U K population.

167. You can't have every face in the U K on there.

168. That would be against civil liberties, data protection, all that stuff.

169. Still doing that "you" instead of "we" thing?

170. Damn, 119 suspects.

171. This thing is supposed to give us a single clear match.

172. The CCTV was too low res. I've tried magnifying and augmenting, but it just breaks up.

173. Which means the software can't function properly.

174. It's narrowed the numbers down. I could check through the rest.

175. You know, the old fashioned way, with my eyes.

176. What about the fingerprints I took of the alley wall?

177. - It was a long shot. - Yeah, just a bit.

178. - At least I'm trying to do something. - No. You're trying to do anything.

179. The CCTV must have picked up her arrival at the club.

180. Tosh, can you reformat the image recognition software

181. to trace her journey backwards via the street camera network?

182. I'll have a go, but it will take a while to process.

183. Every possible turn on every street corner means hundreds and thousands of probabilities.

184. Have a go. At least we'll know where she started the evening.

185. We could cross-reference that with the addresses of the remaining face matches.

186. Good one, newbie, that's a bit more like it.

187. No!

188. You're keeping that website in business.

189. Well, your dad's not in, then?

190. - Get your clothes off. - Steady, Carys.

191. All right, that's enough, joke over.

192. - Barry's put you up to this, has he? - Shut up.

193. - What's going on? - Put your trousers on and get out.

194. Now!

195. It always breaks my heart to say those words.

196. Air quality is okay.

197. Gwen, look out!

198. - What's that? - It's a sort of inflatable cell.

199. Power runs down after an hour, though.

200. - The battery life's bollocks. - Who said you could use that?

201. Erm, I just stopped a prisoner escaping?

202. You know the rules, none of that stuff leaves the building without my express permission.

203. Fine, don't thank me.

204. Come with us.

205. See what you can find out from her.

206. Well, aren't you going to help me? I don't know what I'm doing.

207. Usually better if you don't say that in front of the prisoner.

208. Are you MI5?

209. Where am I? What do you want?

210. - I think you know, Carys. - How do you know my name?

211. I've never been in trouble. What do you want from me?

212. I know there's something living inside you.

213. And I know what it made you do.

214. H is name was Matt Stevens.

215. H is parent's lost their only child at 3:07 this morning.

216. You broke my ship.

217. Come on, then.

218. Where are you from, and why are you trying to invade Earth?

219. Because you can forget about enslaving us.

220. - Who said anything about enslaving? - Well, that's what you lot do.

221. Aliens.

222. - Isn't it? - No.

223. I just want the energy, the climax.

224. I live off that energy.

225. Right, sorry, just to recap, you've travelled here to feed off orgasmic energy?

226. There's nothing else out there like it.

227. You taste so good, you're the best hit there is.

228. No! No!

229. Help me.

230. Please, get it out of me.

231. Carys?

232. Hello. Happy birthday me.

233. Okay, first contact with an alien, not quite what I expected.

234. Oi, you lot. Treat.

235. - Well. - Wow.

236. - Thought she said she had a boyfriend. - You people and your quaint little categories.

237. - We should really get her out of there. - Yeah.

238. I mean, yeah, come on.

239. Just record a bit first.

240. No, it's no good.

241. It's got to be a man.

242. I'm losing.

243. Promise me you'll help me. Promise me.

244. I promise.

245. - Hi. - You're not still at work?

246. Afraid so.

247. What time will you be done? I was about to start cooking.

248. - Not really sure when I'll be finished. - Is it exciting, though?

249. - Have you had a lot of excitement? - Erm, some.

250. - Is now a good time? - Maybe not the best.

251. Oh, pity me, I'm a Special Ops widow.

252. - I'll call you later. - Bye.

253. Way to go, newbie. That is what I call a methodical investigation.

254. I can't wait to see you take down her particulars.

255. What are you doing? Get off me.

256. That girl's body has been overrun by I don't know what, and you think it's a joke.

257. - All right. Jesus. Sorry. - We should be helping her. She's not some lab rat.

258. No, she's a murderer, and you were the one who wanted her caught.

259. How come suddenly she's your best friend?

260. You know, strictly speaking, throttling the staff is my job.

261. So, who's for Chinese?

262. She says... She said, "If I'd known what he was, I never would have married him."

263. - She knew. She knew all along. - She didn't care.

264. Until he started leaving black piles of mucus in the bathtub.

265. Always a big giveaway. Aliens have no sense of household hygiene.

266. Which reminds me...

267. gotta pee.

268. - So what's he told you? - What about?

269. - H imself. - You've been here longer than I have.

270. - We were banking on you. - You're a copper, you're trained to ask questions.

271. - You don't know anything? - Not who he is, not where he's from.

272. Nothing, except him being gay.

273. No, he's not. Really, do you think? No.

274. - Owen does, I don't. - And I don't care.

275. Period military is not the dress code of a straight man.

276. I think it suits him, sort of classic.

277. Exactly. I've watched him in action. He'll shag anything if it's gorgeous enough.

278. - We know he's from America, right? - We don't even know that for sure.

279. No US citizen by the name of Jack Harkness born in the last 50 years.

280. Maybe his identity is classified.

281. Used to be something big in the CIA. That's what I reckon.

282. He must have his reasons for wanting to keep things secret.

283. Sure he has. Doesn't stop me wanting to know what they are.

284. What's that sound?

285. What are we doing having Chinese while a girl fights for her life?

286. Actually, while we've been eating, the computers have been running a full bio-scan on Carys.

287. Profiling her blood, metabolism, organs, skin, the works.

288. So we can see what effect the alien's having on her.

289. They've also been taking samples of the air in the cell,

290. so we can analyse any changes in the environment around her.

291. Now, is that enough? Do you want more? 'Cause it gets kind of boring.

292. You've been hidden down here too long.

293. Spending so much time with the alien stuff, you've lost what it means to be human.

294. So remind us.

295. Tell me what it means to be human in the 21 st century.

296. All right.

297. Carys Fletcher, born 13th of November, 1987.

298. School reports, personnel files from a temping agency,

299. swimming badges from when she was six,

300. reports of her mother's death in a car crash when she was 10.

301. And last year's emails discussing the relative merits of Orlando Bloom and Heath Ledger.

302. Why have you done this?

303. This isn't about meteorites or gasses. We have a trapped girl and we have to save her.

304. When I was with her in the cell, Carys told me she was losing.

305. We have to find a way to keep her fighting. Remind her to hold on to who she is.

306. Have I got something on my face?

307. No.

308. Just... It's brilliant.

309. You are brilliant.

310. Thank you.

311. - So, I think we should bring in her dad. - You're kidding, right?

312. We've gotta find something to connect with her, make her fight back.

313. Our priority is to contain the alien threat, not put civilians in a cell with it.

314. We should be helping her.

315. - When there is no... - If we don't, who will, Jack?

316. Are you always this awkward?

317. You should take a look at this.

318. This is the normal chemical composition of the air in that cell.

319. And these are the readings from the last hour.

320. The alien's secreting an ultra-powerful blend of airborne pheromones.

321. Sex pheromones.

322. A thousand times more potent than anything we'd normally experience.

323. - She's a walking aphrodisiac. - I did wonder why I...

324. - Actually, I sort of snogged her. We know.

325. Now, still want to put her father in the cell?

326. God, no, we can't let any man near...

327. - Owen. - Owen.

328. Jack, Carys is out of her cell.

329. Cheeky bitch took my swipe card.

330. I'll deal with it. And tell Owen he needs to work on those abs a bit harder.

331. I was taking some readings, you know, keeping an eye on her, and bang.

332. You got away lightly. Be thankful she was only interested in your swipe card.

333. Are you all right now? Or are you still feeling a bit of a cock?

334. No exit, sorry.

335. Yeah. You want a little rough and tumble, huh?

336. Well, let's make it a fair fight.

337. You won't stop me.

338. Put it down! That's worthless to anyone but me.

339. Down now, or I'll shoot.

340. You said you will, but the eyes say you won't.

341. I'm going. Don't stop me.

342. Please help me.

343. - Need me to do any attacking, sir? - Appreciate the offer.

344. Just open the door.

345. Now give me the jar.

346. No!

347. After all I said, a severed hand is more important to you than Carys' life.

348. You want to prove yourself? Find her.

349. Get your old pals in the police to do something useful for once.

350. All right, I'll give them a call. Put out an APB.

351. Woman possessed by gas knobbing fellows to death.

352. Oi. You better get in here.

353. So, I'm trying to interpret the results of the bio-scan, yeah? But it's just a mess.

354. Like there is no definitive readings.

355. Because everything in her body keeps changing, nothing stays constant.

356. So as soon as you think you've got something clear,

357. the metabolic rate, the blood pressure, whatever, it all goes wild again.

358. Because she's fighting the alien for control over her own body?

359. Yeah. So, anyway, I decided to do a comparative diagnostic.

360. Recreate the circumstances, accelerate the process a little,

361. - see what's going to happen to Carys. - Yeah, thanks.

362. I infected the rat with a combination of the vorax and the ceranium gas traces

363. we found down at the crash site and at the nightclub.

364. Looks fine so far.

365. Once the gasses start to flow around the body, the party really starts.

366. The heart rate triples, the brain swells, pressing against the skull.

367. As that keeps going, the lungs begin to shrink, making it impossible to breathe,

368. the pressure increases on all the internal organs, until...

369. Rat jam.

370. - That's what's gonna happen to Carys? - "I'm losing." That's what she said to me.

371. Right now, it's a struggle between where Carys ends and the alien begins.

372. We have to think like her. Put ourselves in her place.

373. It's the only way to find her.

374. Except we don't know what her controlling impulse is by now.

375. Carys or the alien inside.

376. The last thing I saw was a fight for control.

377. The overriding factor for the parasite is to have sex. It's a survival instinct.

378. That's bound to be the strongest drive.

379. All right, so you're Carys. You're desperate for sex 'cause that's what the thing inside you needs.

380. But you know it will kill. Where would you go?

381. I'd come round and shag you.

382. What? It's a joke.

383. - Can't I have a joke with my teammates? - Right now? No.

384. So what are we talking about? Brothels, lap dance clubs...

385. - Anywhere there's eager men? - I know what I'd do.

386. What the hell are you doing here?

387. - You look a bit wired. - I had to see you.

388. You should have called. Bethan might have been in.

389. - I could kill you. - I could bloody kill you.

390. What the hell was that message you left on my mobile last night?

391. Sounded like you were off your face.

392. If I wanted to, I could kill you.

393. - Now. - Look...

394. I've told you, I'm not leaving Bethan.

395. You're a lovely girl, but it's just not gonna happen.

396. You were my first, see? I never told you 'cause I thought you'd laugh.

397. And you're crap.

398. All you want is to come, and you don't care what's underneath.

399. Oh, yeah, go on. Have a go, get it out of your system.

400. Do you love me, Eddie?

401. Did you ever love me?

402. No.

403. - You could have saved yourself. - What?

404. We're too late.

405. Tosh was right, though. She went for the ex-boyfriend. Lucky she's young.

406. Work your way through my back catalogue, we'll be here till the sun explodes.

407. - So where's she gonna go next? - How long before that thing destroys her body?

408. - So what's our next move? - Stop the entire city of Cardiff from shagging?

409. - Put bromide in the water supply. - No, too hit-and-miss.

410. Yeah, and the water company got really pissed off the last time we did that.

411. - It could have used any body in Cardiff. Why her? - I just assumed it was random.

412. It's mining Carys' life to get what it needs.

413. What else do we know about her to give us a lead?

414. - Anything you can think of. - What are you all looking at me for?

415. - You did all the profiling. - I don't know, sorry.

416. - She's really great under pressure. - There's gotta be something.

417. - What did you say Carys' job was? - She's just a temp, receptionist.

418. - Where's she working at the moment? - I can pull her employment files up.

419. - Conway Clinic. - You're joking?

420. - What's the problem? - It's a bloody fertility clinic.

421. Sperm donors, an unlimited supply of orgasmic energy without all the build-up.

422. Perfect hit.

423. Carys, you're not on today, are you?

424. He needs more.

425. - The energy, it's not lasting. - Sorry?

426. Mr Tenster? Room number one's ready now.

427. - What's this for? - Need a diagram?

428. I've never used a gun.

429. - You were in the police. - I was on the beat.

430. Carry it, we'll make sure you don't need to use it.

431. - I'm asking for you to get out. - Just relax, I can help.

432. I don't think so, love. I'm gay.

433. What do we do if we find her? How are we going to get that thing out of her?

434. Judging by the test results, the gas needed a host

435. because prolonged exposure to our atmosphere is poisonous to it,

436. but our bodies are the perfect environment.

437. So if we isolate it from Carys' body...

438. - It won't survive for long. - Sounds like we have ourselves a plan.

439. - Force it to die. - Just like it did those poor blokes.

440. - What about Carys? - Better start praying we get to her in time.

441. Out, now! Get as far away as you can.

442. God, how many more?

443. In here!

444. Nowhere to run.

445. All the sex, all we see, all we think.

446. So much beauty and so much fear.

447. We want it but we're so afraid of it...

448. The strain on her body is too much.

449. Any second now, she's rat jam.

450. One more and I'll be strong. Each time it works less.

451. Each time the feeling's weaker.

452. One more, make me feel alive.

453. Make me feel human.

454. - I can't. - I can.

455. - Jack... - I've got a surplus of alive, I'm giving it away.

456. You really want to feel something?

457. What's he doing?

458. That was just a kiss.

459. Imagine the buzz you'd get from the rest.

460. Wasn't exactly the reaction I anticipated.

461. Her body won't last much longer.

462. Use me. Leave Carys.

463. Take my body as host. Just let her live.

464. - Gwen? - I'm stronger than she is, I'll last longer.

465. You might be able to save me, I...

466. - I don't know. - Okay.

467. - Jack, you can't let her. - Like she said...

468. she's responsible for this.

469. Come on, then, do it. Leave her.

470. How long can it survive in there?

471. It's pretty weak. Why?

472. Bit worried about how long that battery will last for.

473. Look.

474. It's dying.

475. Travel halfway across the universe for the greatest sex,

476. you still end up dying alone.

477. Thank you.

478. Still here? Everybody else is off doing...

479. - whatever it is they do when they're not here. - How long you been there?

480. I wanted to finish off.

481. Do one thing for me. Don't let the job consume you.

482. You have a life, perspective. We need that.

483. Who are you, Jack?

484. - I'm sorry? - You can't die,

485. you tell me the 21 st century is when it all changes. That we have to be prepared.

486. - So you do. - But how can you know?

487. You think knowing the answers would make you feel better?

488. Who are you?

489. What are you doing here?

490. Go home, Gwen Cooper.

491. Eat lasagne, kiss your boyfriend, be normal.

492. For me.

493. So I said,

494. "Those bloody website employers have the sort of drivers who won't go out every bank holiday...

495. "I've had years of experience.

496. "I know the journeys, I've driven most of them, so I think I know the best way..."

497. Am I boring you?

498. Sorry.

499. Too grand to care about transport routes now, are we?

500. Let's go to bed.

501. You saw the echo of a moment amplified by alien technology.

502. A ghost.

503. - From maybe 40, 45 years ago. - I saw it happen.

504. You need to know how to use these.

505. Quick.

506. Lizzie...

507. I've seen things you wouldn't believe.

508. Lizzie Lewis...

509. No!

510. - Owen had the knife. - Get out!

511. Help me!