1. On today's show,
Richard says goodbye
to a motoring icon.
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2. The fastest car in the world
comes to our track.
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3. And how good is
the Citroen 2CV
in a crosswind?
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4. Good evening!
Now we've got a lot of
V8s on the show tonight
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5. and even a jet engine.
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6. So, to bring a bit of balance,
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7. we thought we'd start
by looking at
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8. this very eco-friendly,
semi-electric Toyota Prius.
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9. Okay, we've looked
at that now, so...
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10. So, let's move on to James,
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11. who's been hurtling
around the mountain roads
of Sicily
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12. in a thumping grey Maserati.
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13. This is
the Maserati Quattroporte.
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14. It costs £70,000,
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15. and in a world of
German saloons
shaped like briefcases,
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16. it looks absolutely beautiful.
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17. Quattroporte sounds exotic,
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18. but it simply means
"four doors".
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19. So, is the rest of this car
that simple?
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20. Well, no.
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21. You see, most cars
are fairly happy
to be one thing,
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22. a hatchback or an estate car.
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23. But this Maserati
wants to be two things,
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24. a dignified luxury saloon,
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25. and a high-performance
sports car.
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26. It's Maserati's party piece.
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27. The original
1960s Quattroporte,
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28. inspired by the opening
of Italy's new motorways,
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29. was once the fastest
four-door saloon in the world.
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30. So, let's have a look
at this car of two halves,
beginning with luxury.
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31. On the surface,
it's all there.
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32. Leather from the most
up-market cows,
plenty of space,
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33. stylish Italian detailing.
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34. And the whole thing
smells like an expensive
Florentine handbag.
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35. But once you get on the move,
hmm...
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36. Now, my first beef
about this car concerns
its suspension.
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37. The low-speed ride
is not exactly ministerial.
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38. It's the sort of thing that
big Jags and Mercedes
do much better.
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39. My main complaint, however,
concerns the gearbox.
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40. Now, it's one of these
flappy paddle jobs,
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41. it's a manual gearbox
with an automated clutch.
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42. But when you're
driving around town,
you can press a button
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43. and turn it into
a full automatic,
which sounds great,
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44. but it's just...
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45. I don't know,
sometimes it feels like
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46. Maureen from driving school
is changing gear for you.
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47. And on her first lesson
at that!
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48. It just isn't as good
as a real automatic.
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49. So, it's not brilliant
when it's in executive
wafting mode.
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50. And if I was Don Corleone
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51. and I'd just spent
£70,000 on this,
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52. I think there'd be
a horse's head
in someone's bed by now.
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53. But let's see if you get
your money's worth
when it's a sports car.
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54. There's a place in Sicily
that's just the job.
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55. The Targa Florio,
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56. miles and miles
of bandit-ridden
mountain roads
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57. that, from 1906 to 1973,
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58. made up one of the greatest
racetracks of the world.
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59. Over the years,
the length
of the course shrank
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60. from a staggering 700 miles
to just 40.
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61. But even today,
this route remains
a great test of a car.
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62. The creator of this event
was a man called
Vincenzo Florio,
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63. and in the early days,
he had the only car
on the island.
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64. But that wasn't gonna
stop him.
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65. He organised a race
with a horse and a bicycle.
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66. And the horse won.
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67. So, let's see
if things have moved on.
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68. Right. Once you start driving
like an Italian,
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69. this starts to make
much more sense.
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70. This is a fantastic bit
of road!
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71. I've never been more keen
on these flappy
paddle gearboxes.
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72. But you can learn to use it.
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73. You actually can just
keep your foot planted
in the carpet,
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74. and flick the paddles,
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75. but if you back off a bit,
you can make the changes
much crisper.
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76. You're getting to know it.
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77. You're building up a rapport.
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78. You can tell this is meant
to be a sports car
because of the engine.
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79. Yee-hee!
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80. 4.2 V8, 400 horsepower.
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81. Fabulous!
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82. Listen to that!
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83. It's not just
the engine itself,
but where it is.
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84. They've shifted it
well back behind
the front wheels,
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85. and put the gearbox
at the back,
all for better balance.
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86. That's absolute
supercar thinking
and it really shows.
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87. This is so chuckable
for a 15-foot car.
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88. Makes you think
you're in an MX-5
or something.
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89. If I suddenly get spattered
with flecks of vomit,
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90. that's the sound man
in the passenger seat,
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91. he's really not enjoying this!
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92. This is absolutely amazing!
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93. Imagine what this was like
in the 1950s.
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94. In an old car with no ABS,
and no traction control.
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95. Sheer drops
down into that valley.
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96. I'm surprised
anybody got to the end.
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97. In the early days
of this race,
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98. the local bandits
used to hide in the hills
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99. and take pot shots
at the competitors
as they went past.
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100. But they got round
this problem by employing them
as race marshals,
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101. shooting all the drivers.
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102. Not that they'd get me today,
obviously,
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103. 'cause I'm outrunning
everything, even bullets!
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104. God, if I lived here,
I'd kill myself!
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105. If you lived here,
someone else probably
kills you first.
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106. But that's another matter.
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107. So, when you're in town
and just wanting
to cruise about,
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108. there are better cars
for the job.
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109. But out here in the mountains,
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110. the big Maserati
is a glorious sports car.
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111. Sure, the Germans
also do a nice line
in fast four-seaters,
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112. but against the charisma
of the Quattroporte,
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113. they look a little more like
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114. just the top rung
of a company car
pecking order.
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115. The Quattroporte has
no diesel or estate version
sullying its bloodline.
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116. It's something very special.
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117. So, would you buy one?
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118. No, I wouldn't.
You see,
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119. if I was called Flavio
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120. and lived in
the Sicilian hills,
then I would.
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121. It would be
absolutely fantastic.
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122. But in real life, I just think
a Jaguar XJR would be better.
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123. - Why?
- Because...
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124. Well, this, okay,
is a purebred
Italian supercar.
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125. It's just got two extra doors
and two extra seats.
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126. But the Jaguar,
that's really a conventional
luxury car
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127. that just happens to have
a supercar engine in it.
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128. And the Jaguar just makes
more sense more of the time.
It's that simple.
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129. So, what you're saying
really is that
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130. buying one of these
to use every day would be
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131. as daft as, you know,
say, buying a huge off-roader
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132. in Surrey,
just to do the school run.
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133. Exactly.
That'd be absolutely stupid!
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134. - That would be
a preposterous thing to do.
- Completely!
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135. Okay, so, let's move on
and do the news.
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136. Absolutely!
In the news this week,
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137. the new Porsche 911.
It's out very soon.
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138. There will be with two models,
the Standard and the S.
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139. 325 and 355 brake horsepower.
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140. Here it is. Um,
£58,000 or 65,000,
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141. depending upon
which version you buy.
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142. Fantastic!
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143. - You've been suckered!
- Oh, dear.
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144. - That's not a new 911.
- Yes, it is!
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145. Now, the thing is that,
Porsche say,
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146. every single one
of those panels, except
for the roof, is brand new.
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147. - Absolutely.
- Now, frankly,
I didn't believe them.
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148. So, I rang them up and I said,
"Prove it".
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149. And they sent us a tape
of this car being designed.
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150. We can show that to you now.
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151. There they are.
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152. Now, we know that German
fashion and hairstyles
haven't moved on much,
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153. but I'm sorry,
that car is just the old one.
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154. That's not new.
There's no new 911,
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155. and there never has been.
The end.
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156. Right. Do you remember
our pickup truck?
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157. Of course you remember
our pickup truck,
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158. it's in the studio,
here somewhere.
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159. It's still running remarkably.
What did we do to that?
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160. Everything.
Burned it...
- We set fire to it,
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161. drowned it, blew it up
on the top of a building,
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162. all that sort of stuff.
It still works
at the end of it.
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163. Toyota have launched
a new Toyota pickup truck,
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164. and they've sort of
named it after our experiment.
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165. They've called that
the Toyota Hilux Invincible.
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166. - What, they've really named...
- So, we named a car?
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167. Sort of, yeah.
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168. They acknowledge the role
of our TV programme
in the naming of that car.
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169. - That's brilliant!
- That's fantastic!
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170. Perhaps this would catch on.
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171. Perhaps all cars
could be named after
what we think of them.
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172. Ooh, yes!
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173. The Nissan 350 Noisy,
for instance.
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174. The Porsche KN Minger
would be quite nice.
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175. Yes, that would be
a good name.
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176. - How about
the Rover City Rubbish?
- Yeah.
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177. I like City Rubbish.
The BMW 52 Ugly!
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178. Yeah, I think
this is a good idea.
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179. I think this is
gonna catch on.
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180. Hey, now, last week, um,
you two were talking about
these new tall hatchbacks.
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181. And it was, were they
worth the extra money?
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182. We said, "No"
if they've got five seats.
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183. "Yes" if they've got seven.
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184. Well, Honda has come along
with the news this week
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185. that they've got something
called a FR-V.
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186. There it is.
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187. And they say,
"Now seating five or seven."
Okay?
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188. Actually, Honda had
a better idea, six seats!
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189. Now, you see,
that's not better,
is it, really?
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190. Six is better than five.
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191. But if it was a seven,
it's one worse.
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192. It's one worse.
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193. And what they actually say is,
"When you think about it,
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194. "six seats are plenty
for most small families."
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195. No, you see,
it still doesn't stand up,
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196. if you've got seven people
to transport.
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197. That's a rubbish idea!
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198. It is a rubbish idea.
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199. That car basically could be
beautifully made,
unbelievably reliable,
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200. have a fantastic engine
and isn't as good as
a Toyota Corolla Verso.
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201. - The end.
- Yeah.
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202. News from Germany,
where they have the autobahns,
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203. you know, unlimited,
no speed limits
on those things,
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204. well, the two main
political parties in Germany
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205. are now backing the scrapping
of the derestricted autobahns.
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206. They're thinking of imposing
a blanket 80 mile an hour
speed limit.
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207. What are they doing?
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208. Well, absolutely!
I mean, what are they doing?
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209. Apart from anything else,
if they do that,
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210. what's the point in
having Germany?
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211. Well, what's it for?
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212. Now, we have a very,
very interesting new car
in the studio this week.
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213. It's over here.
Have a look at this.
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214. This is the new Mercedes CLS.
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215. Now, it's available
with either a 3.5-litre V6
or a 5-litre V8 engine.
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216. It goes on sale next year.
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217. We expect prices will start
from about £45,000.
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218. But, and here's
the really interesting thing,
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219. it comes with
an automatic gearbox
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220. that has seven forward speeds
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221. and, for reasons
we just can't quite fathom,
two reverse speeds.
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222. Yes, that's very interesting,
Hammond,
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223. but this is more interesting,
I think it's the styling
of the thing.
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224. Have a look.
It's been made to look like
a very svelte coupe,
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225. but it is actually
a four-door,
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226. and more to the point,
the doors are...
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227. Pillarless, how cool is that?
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228. For some reason
that's just, I don't know,
fantastic!
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229. I think, if we were doing
the Cool Wall, this week,
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230. we could have our first
cool Mercedes.
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231. Quite possibly.
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232. Okay, now, every week or so,
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233. some manufacturer
somewhere in the world
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234. announces that they're
going to stop making
a particular type of engine.
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235. And to be honest, most times,
well, we don't really care.
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236. But the other week, we heard
about the death of something
really rather special.
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237. So get your Kleenex ready,
because coming up now
is an obituary.
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238. A moment's silence, please,
for the passing of
the Queen Mother of motoring,
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239. the Rover V8 engine.
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240. Now, I know,
we don't normally do engines,
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241. but stick with it,
because this is an icon.
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242. It started out
as an unloved orphan,
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243. but in its 37-year life,
it has been in
quite a few different cars.
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244. It first appeared
in the Rover P5,
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245. then the Rover P6,
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246. and the Range Rover,
and the Land Rover,
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247. the MGB GT, the MGR V8:
the Morgan Plus 8,
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248. the Discovery,
the Triumph TR8,
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249. loads and loads of TVRs,
the S, the Chimaera,
the Griffith,
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250. then the Marcos,
and the Ginetta,
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251. the Brabham
single-seater racer,
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252. the Westfield SE8
and the Sherpa van.
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253. Basically, it has run Britain.
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254. Amazing!
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255. But for us, the best home
that engine ever found
was in this,
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256. the Rover SD1.
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257. The SD1 and this
engine are one of the great
partnerships of all time.
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258. Think of Lennon and McCartney,
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259. Morecambe and Wise,
Tango and Cash.
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260. And the marriage
very nearly never happened.
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261. The V8 was originally designed
by General Motors in America,
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262. but nobody liked
this radical aluminium bloke.
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263. And after just three years,
GM killed it off.
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264. By happy accident,
Rover's Managing Director
spotted one
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265. lying abandoned in
an American boatyard.
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266. He bought the rights
and here we are today.
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267. It was 1976 when the engine
slotted itself into the SD1.
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268. But not only was it handsome,
it was clever.
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269. Take the dashboard,
for example.
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270. All the dials and stuff
are contained in a single
sort of box unit
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271. that sits on top of the dash.
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272. So, for right-hand
drive versions,
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273. they screwed it down
on this side,
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274. and for left-hand
drive versions,
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275. they just screwed it down
on the other side.
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276. And then they plugged the hole
where the steering column
would have been
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277. with an air vent.
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278. And at the end of it,
it always had that engine.
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279. During its 37-year life,
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280. the V8 popped up
as a 3.9-litre, a 4-litre,
a 4.5 and a 5-litre.
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281. But in the SD1,
it was a 3.5-litre
with a 155 horsepower.
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282. And here today,
the old girl gets to relive
some of her former glories
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283. in classic touring car racing.
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284. This is like old rockers
on a reunion tour,
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285. and is one of the cheapest
motorsports you can do.
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286. Do you know how much it costs
to run a season,
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287. that's the car, tyres, engine,
11 races, the lot?
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288. Ten grand.
Two of that is the car.
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289. And I can't think of
a better way to pay tribute.
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290. Okay, here we are on the grid.
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291. And we're off!
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292. All the cars are pre-1982,
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293. and essentially, the racing
is between big stuff
that roars down the straights,
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294. and small hatches that
catch them in the corners.
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295. There were several SD1s
on the track,
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296. but none,
and here comes the first
of the racing excuses,
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297. were quite as basic as mine,
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298. which had standard suspension
and standard brakes.
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299. I'm driving a shopping car!
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300. Besides me, there was
one other novice SD1 driver
in a white car.
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301. So I made beating him
my goal for the race.
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302. What a manoeuvre!
And he's got away from me!
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303. Right, he's in a Rover
like mine,
this must be possible.
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304. Maybe he had more talent.
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305. But I liked to think
he had more power.
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306. Come on! Give me more power!
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307. I need more power!
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308. Give me more power,
damn it!
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309. There was nothing else for it.
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310. I'd have to drive
right on my limit.
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311. But what a tribute
to the big V8!
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312. And while others were
going off all around me,
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313. I at least managed
to stay on the track
with my comedy suspension.
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314. Let's see if I can
have him through here.
Come on!
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315. Yeah!
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316. Finally,
I got past my nemesis,
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317. but then, on the next corner,
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318. I ran out of talent and track.
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319. Yes! No! No!
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320. Grass!
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321. I need help! Beautiful!
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322. Oh, Rover friend. No!
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323. Oh, bother!
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324. And that was that.
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325. My tribute to
an amazing engine.
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326. I'm sorry,
it was the best I could do,
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327. but thanks anyway,
for the 37 years of service.
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328. - Great engine.
- Yeah.
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329. And I must say,
I have to say this,
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330. - a great drive from you.
- Thank you.
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331. It really was.
The press were less kind,
I must admit.
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332. I've got a cutting here,
Top Gear presenter
struggles at Snetterton.
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333. That is just so unfair!
That is unfair.
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334. You saw the other cars,
they were cornering level,
and mine was leaning,
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335. because I only had
ordinary suspension
and ordinary brakes
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336. and the engine
wasn't as powerful
as everyone else's.
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337. You want me to
get you out of this hole?
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338. Yes, please.
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339. - Shall we meet a guest?
- Yes, please.
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340. Okay, our star in
the Reasonably Priced Car
tonight has very big ears.
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341. Uh, so big, in fact,
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342. that if the wheel
comes off again,
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343. he will be able to
use them as air-brakes.
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344. Ladies and gentlemen,
Martin Clunes.
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345. - Hello!
- Thank you very much.
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346. - Thank you. Thank you.
- Have a seat.
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347. Um...
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348. Now, um...
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349. - A rapturous welcome.
- Yeah. Not bad, was it?
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350. Um, now, did you
see the show
last week
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351. when the wheel fell off?
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352. No, I didn't,
but I've heard about it.
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353. They told me about it
before I got in the car.
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354. - They said the wheel
has come off.
- Did that make you nervous?
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355. No, I was already nervous.
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356. - Would you like to see it?
- Yeah, I'd love to, actually.
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357. This is the one with
Lionel Richie last week.
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358. Here he is, a bit brutal.
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359. And there goes the wheel.
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360. It's now overtaking him.
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361. And off he goes.
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362. He was so nearly dancing
on the ceiling, there.
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363. Now, your car history,
um, where does that begin?
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364. It started with a Hillman Minx
that would get you
from Wimbledon to Putney.
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365. And it once got stolen
by somebody,
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366. but they only got
as far as Putney,
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367. 'cause that was
as far as it would go.
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368. We had to
fill the radiator back.
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369. But I found it
and nicked it back
and got it home.
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370. Technically,
that's not stealing
if it's your own car.
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371. That's true. Yeah.
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372. Then you got
the bit part actor...
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373. You were a bit part actor
in Doctor Who.
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374. I had quite a big part,
actually.
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375. Thank you, yes,
I was guest baddie.
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376. Um, yes I did,
and then I bought
a BMW 3-litre thing.
Copy !req
377. - Oh, great. Good.
- Before the 7 Series.
Copy !req
378. Thing is though you needed
to buy a good car,
Copy !req
379. because we've actually got
a photograph,
I'm afraid to say,
Copy !req
380. of you in Doctor Who,
there it is.
Copy !req
381. Mushrooms were mushrooms
in those days.
Copy !req
382. Ooh, look at that!
Copy !req
383. Now, since the days
of Men Behaving Badly,
Copy !req
384. you've left London
and moved to
the quiet life, really.
Copy !req
385. Mmm.
Copy !req
386. Why, I understand
you spend most of your life
doing carpentry.
Copy !req
387. I do do a fair bit
of carpentry, yeah.
Yeah, I do like it.
Copy !req
388. Why?
Copy !req
389. Why?
Copy !req
390. Because I basically,
dress up and prat around
for a living.
Copy !req
391. That then gets squirted
through the airwaves
to people's television sets,
Copy !req
392. and you're sort of
left with very little result
for your labour.
Copy !req
393. So, it's actually quite good
to go and bang
and hammer something,
Copy !req
394. and at the end of the day,
have a tiny bit of wood left.
Copy !req
395. Look at that!
Copy !req
396. It was this big
when I started!
Copy !req
397. But life in the country
suits you well?
Copy !req
398. - Yeah, very much.
- Does that suit your
driving style down there?
Copy !req
399. It suits...
I'm a land barge
van driver,
Copy !req
400. so I can see over the hedges
and everything.
Copy !req
401. You've got an Amazon.
Copy !req
402. Oh, I've got an Amazon,
Copy !req
403. yeah, but I've also got
two camper vans,
two Volkswagens.
Copy !req
404. - Camper vans?
- Well, actually,
that's not strictly true.
Copy !req
405. One's a 1969 Microbus
with just one set
of backseats.
Copy !req
406. And the other was
a 1977 delivery van
which I'm slowly doing up.
Copy !req
407. Where's that thing you've got
of all time greatest cars?
Copy !req
408. Because there's no
Volkswagen vans on there.
Copy !req
409. And I...
You ask this audience...
Copy !req
410. Through a couple of
degrees of separation,
Copy !req
411. everyone's had some exposure
to these vans in their lives.
Copy !req
412. Yeah, but they can't be
the greatest car
on the basis that
Copy !req
413. they're not cars,
they're actually vans.
Copy !req
414. If we were to do
the greatest vans
of all time...
Copy !req
415. Oh! Bollocks!
Copy !req
416. I'll get me coat!
Copy !req
417. You want to ask the audience
what exactly?
Copy !req
418. - Whether or not they...
- Hands up,
Copy !req
419. who's had some experience
of a Volkswagen camper van?
Copy !req
420. Come on. Oh,
your friends' parents,
you went for a ride...
Copy !req
421. - First snog?
- I'm quite interested,
Copy !req
422. what experience did you have
in a Volks... Yeah.
Copy !req
423. It's just a camping holiday!
Copy !req
424. It's not exactly
the kind of experience
you were thinking of.
Copy !req
425. It's time in a vehicle,
isn't it?
Copy !req
426. Does anybody have
an interesting experience
in a camper van?
Copy !req
427. Oh, you never said
interesting.
Copy !req
428. What about the cars
you've got now?
Copy !req
429. I've got the BMW 6 Series
you slagged off
on your programme.
Copy !req
430. What was your problem?
It's the first time
I've had sat nav,
Copy !req
431. and you...
Why didn't you like
the sat nav?
Copy !req
432. Well, it doesn't work
in a BMW, that's why.
Copy !req
433. It has no clue, for instance,
about the A40,
doesn't know that exists.
Copy !req
434. Well, I set off from Oxford
the other day,
Oxford to London,
Copy !req
435. back to the M40,
not in a BMW,
Copy !req
436. tries to steer me onto the M1.
Copy !req
437. Have you switched her on
though, her voice?
Copy !req
438. Sandy.
Copy !req
439. - Is that what she's called?
- I call her Sandy.
Copy !req
440. Oh, she's great.
"Turn left, stroke my back."
Copy !req
441. - Yeah?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
442. "Squeeze my leg.
Make a legal U-turn."
Copy !req
443. "Put these on."
Copy !req
444. You're having an affair
with a woman
Copy !req
445. - who lives in your dashboard.
- Yes.
Copy !req
446. Oh, Lordy, Lord!
It's quite scary.
Copy !req
447. But don't you find the car
quite uncomfortable?
Copy !req
448. I don't! No.
Copy !req
449. I did have a 540 before that,
it had those Recaro seats,
I don't have a Recaro arse.
Copy !req
450. So that was a little
sort of wedged in,
but this now, I do find it...
Copy !req
451. But I've never driven
the Jaguar, I'm not interested
in the Porsches really.
Copy !req
452. I just like to have
a couple of very fast
comfortable chairs,
Copy !req
453. and a great stereo.
Copy !req
454. Is it a hard top?
Copy !req
455. - Yeah.
- You see, that's okay.
Copy !req
456. 'Cause one of the things
that worries me is,
Copy !req
457. if you have a soft top,
at our age, and I do,
Copy !req
458. often, in the Mercedes,
it's got a huge readout
Copy !req
459. of what radio station
you're listening to.
Copy !req
460. Now, sometimes I listen to
Magic FM.
Copy !req
461. So, everyone in the van,
look at that,
Copy !req
462. "Magic"
written right across it,
Copy !req
463. just going along to
Lionel Richie song.
Copy !req
464. Sunglasses on...
Hey!
Copy !req
465. "No, no,
it's Radio One, really!"
Copy !req
466. I always have to have
the sat nav on.
Copy !req
467. But, of course,
bigger Mercedes,
it's entirely different.
Copy !req
468. "Make a U-turn!"
Copy !req
469. "You will go back
and do it again!"
Copy !req
470. And lawnmowers, I understand,
you're pretty keen
on those, too.
Copy !req
471. Yes, I do.
Copy !req
472. The first week,
I had so many crashes
on that little red tractor,
Copy !req
473. I whacked it into this,
that and the other.
Copy !req
474. Now, you see,
I've got a Kubota.
Copy !req
475. I'm gonna have to
look out for a Kubota.
Copy !req
476. It's nice,
it's a four-wheel drive,
16 speed.
Copy !req
477. - It's good.
- What's your garden like?
Copy !req
478. It's well-mown, is what it is.
Copy !req
479. And I just love that whole
going up and down thing.
Copy !req
480. - Oh, the stripes.
- And also, how anal is this,
Copy !req
481. I've got a garden,
It's got like patches
of trees and things.
Copy !req
482. And you try to work out
the shortest route
to cut your lawn.
Copy !req
483. Now, what do you do?
Do you go around
the trees first
Copy !req
484. and then start striping?
Copy !req
485. This is what I'm saying.
Copy !req
486. You know what
I'm talking about.
Copy !req
487. I know, exactly.
But it always gets you around
every inch of your garden.
Copy !req
488. - I'm so dull!
- If you insist.
Copy !req
489. - Look at my engine.
- You said...
"Look at my engine."
Copy !req
490. But I sit there thinking,
"Now, I've already
cut that bit,
Copy !req
491. "and I'm gonna
have to go across it
to get to that next",
Copy !req
492. - and that's the worst thing
in the world.
- Up blades.
Copy !req
493. Um, now, obviously,
you came here
to try your hand...
Copy !req
494. - Yes.
- ... in the Liana...
Copy !req
495. - Yes.
- ... with its wonky wheel.
Copy !req
496. - Yes.
- Who is it on here
Copy !req
497. that you'd like to
try and beat?
Copy !req
498. Well, obviously, you know,
Neil Morrissey
springs to mind,
Copy !req
499. but he's right at the top.
Copy !req
500. And I do happen to know,
from very personal experience,
Copy !req
501. he's a really good
fast driver.
Copy !req
502. I sort of... When I got in
with The Stig, I...
Copy !req
503. I just thought,
"How can I get out of this
with some...
Copy !req
504. "I'll be funny or sick
or something.
Copy !req
505. "They'll let me off."
Copy !req
506. Is he frightening, The Stig,
when you go round with him?
Copy !req
507. No, very polite, very nice.
Copy !req
508. I had to ask him
to sort of translate
what he was saying,
Copy !req
509. he was like,
"Hard on into the corner."
Copy !req
510. I said, "I've got enough
to think about!"
Copy !req
511. I shouldn't be holding this!
Um...
Copy !req
512. Well, The Stig said, actually,
I had a quick word with him,
Copy !req
513. that you plainly
have had no experience
of track driving.
Copy !req
514. No.
Copy !req
515. Which is his polite way
of saying, you know...
Copy !req
516. - Van driver.
- Van driver, exactly.
Copy !req
517. But that you were
incredibly brave.
Copy !req
518. And we've got some footage
of Martin being brave.
Copy !req
519. Who would you like to see
his practise runs?
Copy !req
520. - Yeah!
- We have a little bit
of a tape here.
Copy !req
521. Let's run that
and have a look.
Copy !req
522. There we go,
in the first...
First corner, that one.
Copy !req
523. And you never change
your expression!
That's like...
Copy !req
524. Oh, second to last corner,
that's a tricky one.
Copy !req
525. And off there.
Copy !req
526. And here we go again,
on the second to last
corner again.
Copy !req
527. - Whoo-hoo!
- Look at that!
He's just not bothered!
Copy !req
528. And here we go again,
same corner, and...
Copy !req
529. That's...
I just love the whole...
Copy !req
530. The smiling.
"I'm off the road, I may die."
Copy !req
531. After you'd calmed down a bit,
Copy !req
532. we set the stop watches,
and this is
Martin Clunes' lap.
Copy !req
533. Aggressive start, I thought.
Copy !req
534. Still... Wheel's spinning.
And still no
facial change there.
Copy !req
535. That's the way my face rests.
Copy !req
536. Yes, we've got that.
Copy !req
537. - That's quite nicely done,
actually.
- Is it?
Copy !req
538. Yeah, very good.
Copy !req
539. Through Chicago,
little bit wide there,
but again, not bad.
Copy !req
540. That's it.
Copy !req
541. You're certainly
manhandling that thing.
Copy !req
542. Now here we go.
Did you lift?
Copy !req
543. Was that flat-out
through there?
Copy !req
544. You did get through there
without lifting off
your accelerator.
Copy !req
545. Yeah. He made me do that.
I promised not to do that.
Copy !req
546. Now, here we go. This is
the second to last corner,
Copy !req
547. this is the trickiest
one we've got.
Copy !req
548. And, yes, nicely through.
And into Gambon corner.
Copy !req
549. And there we are,
quite neatly, across the line!
Copy !req
550. Well, it's still one minute,
that's good.
Copy !req
551. It's one minute, yeah.
You're not Whiteley and Wogan.
Copy !req
552. Oh, Harry Enfield! Blimey!
Copy !req
553. Harry Enfield's the first
person who ever came here.
Copy !req
554. It was unbelievable
how bad he was.
Jonathan Ross got lost.
Copy !req
555. You, far from a disgrace.
Copy !req
556. - Really?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
557. - I might as well
break it to you now.
- I didn't beat Morrissey?
Copy !req
558. - You didn't beat Morrissey.
- No, I knew I wouldn't.
I knew I wouldn't.
Copy !req
559. But you did do it
Copy !req
560. in, I think, a very
respectable, since
it's the same time as me,
Copy !req
561. - 1:50.
- Yeah!
Copy !req
562. Fantastic!
Copy !req
563. Look at that.
I'm right up there!
Copy !req
564. Ladies and gentlemen,
Martin Clunes.
Copy !req
565. Thank you.
Copy !req
566. - I'm up there with you!
- Yeah, and Lionel Richie.
Copy !req
567. Right, this is Skoda's idea
of a hot hatch.
Copy !req
568. It's a Fabia, but it's got
sports seats, it's got
very sporty alloy wheels,
Copy !req
569. and it's even been given
a sporty name.
Copy !req
570. It's called the Fabia VRS.
Copy !req
571. Problem is, though,
under the bonnet
it's got a diesel engine.
Copy !req
572. - Ugh!
- Exactly. Now, Skoda
are adamant about this.
Copy !req
573. They say that is the future
for hot hatch motoring.
Copy !req
574. So we thought,
to prove them wrong,
Copy !req
575. we'd have a sort of race
between this
and the Mini Cooper,
Copy !req
576. which is not actually
as daft as it sounds.
Copy !req
577. They're both around
£12,000, they're both
about 125 miles an hour,
Copy !req
578. and they're both did 0-60
in about nine seconds.
Copy !req
579. So, what do we reckon?
On our track,
what do we reckon?
Copy !req
580. - Which would win?
- Mini. Yeah!
Mini.
Copy !req
581. Well, we can find out.
To see if diesel
has caught up with petrol,
Copy !req
582. it is Clarkson in the Skoda
and Richard Hammond
in the Mini.
Copy !req
583. I've got better traction
off the line.
Copy !req
584. I'm in the lead!
Copy !req
585. That little Skoda
is pulling away like a train!
Copy !req
586. Here comes the first corner.
Oh!
Copy !req
587. I've out-braked him
into the first corner!
Copy !req
588. The Mini definitely brakes
better and quicker.
Copy !req
589. Oh, God, this thing
rolls around a lot.
Copy !req
590. Here we go, here we go,
here we go. Power, power,
power, power, power.
Copy !req
591. I'm giving it
everything I can.
I'm going to pull out.
Copy !req
592. Diesely Weasley
has so much power!
Copy !req
593. - Turn in later. Whoo!
- A little bit of understeer.
Copy !req
594. Yes, quite a lot of
understeer actually there.
Copy !req
595. Ooh, it's so close!
Copy !req
596. The power just comes
in huge lumps.
Copy !req
597. Sort of, boom! Like being hit
with a wrecking ball.
Copy !req
598. It's just inching away
on the stripes. That thing
has got that bit more.
Copy !req
599. Skoda Fabias weren't built
to take the Follow-Through
flat-out, that's for sure.
Copy !req
600. Ooh, no, they aren't built
to do that one, either.
Copy !req
601. Still, I'm in the lead!
I cannot believe this thing.
Copy !req
602. - I'm catching up again.
- Right up my traffic end,
mister.
Copy !req
603. Ooh!
Copy !req
604. It might be a diesel,
it might be a Skoda,
it's definitely a hot hatch.
Copy !req
605. Now, that is a sad day.
Copy !req
606. Well, doubly so,
I lost another race
in the same programme, and...
Copy !req
607. We're kinda not talking
about that.
Copy !req
608. It's a sad day because
diesel, it does seem,
has caught up to petrol.
Copy !req
609. I know!
Copy !req
610. Can I talk about
the GT40 now?
Copy !req
611. - Yes.
- Good. You see,
Copy !req
612. over the years, a number
of kit-car manufacturers
have made copies of it.
Copy !req
613. They've been
kind of plastic facsimiles
with that Rover V8 engine
Copy !req
614. that you were
talking about earlier.
Copy !req
615. Yeah, absolutely.
Somehow, the Mustang
engine as well.
Copy !req
616. And to be honest,
some were pretty good.
Copy !req
617. I mean, these are
very good indeed.
Copy !req
618. But now, Ford themselves,
has had a go at making a copy.
Copy !req
619. So think of it, really,
as a GT40
for the 21st century.
Copy !req
620. This isn't it.
Copy !req
621. This is the old GT40,
the one from the '60s.
Copy !req
622. The 7-litre,
200-mile-an-hour monster
Copy !req
623. that won Le Mans
four times on the trot.
Copy !req
624. This is the new version,
which Ford says
Copy !req
625. merely takes its inspiration
from the old one.
Copy !req
626. But it has the same
massive haunches,
Copy !req
627. the same enormous tyres,
the same Emmental front end,
or full of holes.
Copy !req
628. When you put the two
of them together,
Copy !req
629. they really do look
exactly the same.
Copy !req
630. Except for one thing.
Copy !req
631. The old car was called
the GT40 because
it's 40 inches tall. Look.
Copy !req
632. It isn't even as high
as my legs.
Copy !req
633. And as a result of that,
I've never been able
to fit inside.
Copy !req
634. Let me show you
the extent of the problem.
Copy !req
635. Okay, you have to kind of
thread your legs between
Copy !req
636. the steering wheel
and the gear lever.
Copy !req
637. There we go.
Copy !req
638. Okay, I've got my knees
under the dash.
Copy !req
639. My feet are on the pedals,
but technically,
Copy !req
640. you have to say,
I'm not really in the car.
Copy !req
641. No.
Copy !req
642. It's kind of a fat peg
in a small hole, really.
Copy !req
643. Happily, however,
the new car is 43 inches tall.
Copy !req
644. Which means I can fit inside,
Copy !req
645. and that means,
I can take it for a drive.
Copy !req
646. Bye!
Copy !req
647. I actually drove
one of these cars
in America last year,
Copy !req
648. but that was
a pre-production mule.
Copy !req
649. This, this is the £111,000
finished product
Copy !req
650. the customers
will actually buy.
Copy !req
651. So, let's see what it's like.
Copy !req
652. The acceleration
is astonishing!
Copy !req
653. It actually hurts
your neck muscles
Copy !req
654. just trying to hold
your head upright.
Copy !req
655. But then, it would,
because this car develops
550 brake horsepower
Copy !req
656. and 500 pounds-feet of torque.
Copy !req
657. It's not just faster
than the old racer,
Copy !req
658. it's faster than any car
you can buy today.
Copy !req
659. Into third, 100, 110,
Copy !req
660. 120, 130, 140.
Copy !req
661. Into fourth. 150,
Copy !req
662. 160.
Copy !req
663. And I'm running out of runway.
Copy !req
664. The top speed
is 212 miles an hour.
Copy !req
665. So, it's faster than
the Porsche Carrera GT
and the McLaren Mercedes,
Copy !req
666. both of which are
three times more expensive.
Copy !req
667. The key to this
ferocious speed
is of course the engine.
Copy !req
668. It's a 5.4-litre
supercharged V8.
Copy !req
669. But don't get too excited,
because it says here
it was "Hand-built with pride"
Copy !req
670. by Ronald... something,
and Ken...
Copy !req
671. Basically, it was hand-built
by Ron and Ken,
Copy !req
672. and the block, well,
that comes from one of those.
Copy !req
673. Yep, the GT has pretty much
exactly the same engine
Copy !req
674. as a Ford Lightning
pick-up truck.
Copy !req
675. Just like the old GT40 then,
Copy !req
676. this is a blue-collar,
working-class hero,
Copy !req
677. taking the sledgehammer
to the blue-blooded,
Copy !req
678. automotive aristocracy.
Copy !req
679. The funny thing is though,
is it's all very civilised.
Copy !req
680. I was expecting it
to sound like a wolf
stuck in a gin trap.
Copy !req
681. I'm doing 130 miles an hour
now, and I barely have to
raise my voice.
Copy !req
682. This is amazing,
when you think
that huge engine
Copy !req
683. and the whirring
supercharger belt
Copy !req
684. are just an inch
behind your right ear.
Copy !req
685. And even more amazing
is the suspension
Copy !req
686. which cushions you
from all the bumps
and the ridges in the road.
Copy !req
687. Because it's so quiet
and comfortable,
Copy !req
688. you sometimes think,
"Ah, it's a normal car."
Copy !req
689. But, of course, it isn't.
Copy !req
690. The steering, for instance,
is incredibly direct
and incredibly precise.
Copy !req
691. I just have to run over
the white lines
Copy !req
692. and I can tell whether
they used gloss
or emulsion paint.
Copy !req
693. Gloss.
Copy !req
694. Ooh, then there's the brakes.
The deceleration
is so ferocious,
Copy !req
695. it kind of pulls
your head forwards.
Copy !req
696. I'll end up looking like
a giraffe at this rate,
with my neck muscles!
Copy !req
697. A little bit more understeer
than I was expecting here
Copy !req
698. but there's so much power,
we can cure it
with a dab of throttle.
Copy !req
699. And here we go.
Copy !req
700. This car is a sensation!
Copy !req
701. Price-wise, it's about
the same as a Ferrari 360
or a Lamborghini Gallardo.
Copy !req
702. But they're like fine wines,
delicate and crisp and subtle.
Copy !req
703. This is more like
one of those cocktails
Copy !req
704. that tastes like orange juice,
but blows your head off
after two sips.
Copy !req
705. And if you add water,
you're gonna wind up
with some serious room spin.
Copy !req
706. The sad this is
that only 28 GTs
are coming to the UK,
Copy !req
707. and most will
never see the rain.
Copy !req
708. They'll be locked away
with the family silver
Copy !req
709. and only brought out
for special occasions.
Copy !req
710. I really can't see why.
I mean, I am one
of the lucky ones.
Copy !req
711. I'm getting one of the 28.
Copy !req
712. And I'm gonna
use it every day.
I mean, why not?
Copy !req
713. I've got loads of space,
the visibility is very good,
Copy !req
714. I've got air-conditioning,
the clutch is light,
Copy !req
715. I can move the gear lever
with one hand.
Copy !req
716. It's great.
Copy !req
717. I don't think I'll ever, ever
want to get out of it.
Copy !req
718. Um... I've run it
out of petrol.
Copy !req
719. That's how much I love it.
Copy !req
720. I'm still not gonna
get out of it, though.
Copy !req
721. So, has it not got
a very big tank, then?
Copy !req
722. No. 17.5-gallon fuel tank.
Copy !req
723. And you used all of that
going round our track?
Copy !req
724. - Yeah.
- So, what does it do
to the gallon then, Jeremy?
Copy !req
725. - Four.
- Sorry?
Copy !req
726. - Four.
- Four miles to the gallon?
Copy !req
727. Seriously, four miles
to the gallon?
Copy !req
728. Ford say, though, that if
I'd been a bit more careful,
I might have got it up to 12.
Copy !req
729. Ooh, 12!
You're not gonna be careful!
Copy !req
730. Anyway, look at it,
that's the whole point
of the car.
Copy !req
731. And actually,
17.5-gallon tank, four,
four miles to the gallon.
Copy !req
732. - Hmm.
- How far does that mean you'll
be able to go with your car
Copy !req
733. before you run out of petrol?
Copy !req
734. 75 miles.
Copy !req
735. - 75 miles?
- Yeah.
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736. Well, how far then
do you live,
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737. for instance,
from the Top Gear office?
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738. 76 miles.
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739. Actually, it gets
worse than that,
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740. because, you know how he said,
"Oh, I never want to
get out of it."
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741. James and I have had
a think about this.
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742. We don't think
he'll be able to get into it.
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743. Let me demonstrate.
James, come on in.
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744. Okay. Now, let's assume
this is Jeremy's GT,
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745. parked in an ordinary
multistorey car park,
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746. anywhere you might see,
on an ordinary day.
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747. And James has parked up
perfectly sensibly next to it.
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748. - That's perfectly acceptable.
- That is a very considerate
piece of parking.
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749. I've left plenty of space.
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750. I haven't bashed
this bloke's posh sports car
as I've got out.
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751. No. Not in any way.
So, James got out
of there, no problem.
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752. How are you gonna
get in there?
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753. First off, you'll have to
leave your shopping behind
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754. because there's
no room in there at all.
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755. - You just open the door...
- And get in your car.
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756. And then you go...
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757. You can't possibly get in.
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758. I mean, I'm sorry.
The door has got a roof.
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759. Yeah, you know,
you gotta go...
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760. No. It's just...
What has he bought?
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761. Right. I think,
what's happened here is
Jeremy's bought a car
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762. - he can't get into.
- Yeah.
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763. If he could get into it,
he couldn't go anywhere
because he'd run out of fuel.
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764. And even if he could
get there, he couldn't
take his briefcase,
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765. 'cause it hasn't got a boot.
He really hasn't
thought it through.
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766. No, let's just talk about
this four miles...
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767. No, you see, Jeremy,
that doesn't count.
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768. No, you're not in the car.
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769. It's not really a driving car,
all right?
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770. Because you can't drive it
with your buttocks.
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771. I just want to get back
to this fuel consumption.
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772. Four miles to the gallon.
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773. I mean,
what does that work out to,
like, in time?
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774. Let me just get
my head around this.
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775. Fuel cost, that means
it's a pound a mile in fuel,
doesn't it?
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776. That's just in fuel.
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777. You know,
I was really, really...
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778. I thought it was hilarious
when that man said
it was gonna be delayed
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779. and he'd have to wait
for his GT.
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780. I thought that was great news.
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781. Actually, it can't arrive
quick enough
and start ruining his life.
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782. I can't wait!
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783. I've got some old jerry cans
on my Land Rover,
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784. you could strap those to it,
maybe with fuel in?
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785. Jealousy is a cruel mistress.
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786. Well, it's not as cruel
as OPEC:
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787. I think it's probably time
to find out how fast it goes
around our track.
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788. Yeah, if you can
get enough fuel in it,
to do a lap, obviously.
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789. If we can do that, because
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790. the original GT40
was built to beat Ferrari
at Le Mans.
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791. Now, this one
has been built to beat that,
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792. Ferrari 360 CS.
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793. That's the Challenge Stradale,
that's the one that's
basically built for the track.
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794. So, we handed the Ford
over to something else
that drinks a lot of petrol.
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795. The Stig.
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796. Away he goes.
Lots of wheel spin there.
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797. Now, of course,
212 miles an hour,
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798. this is much faster
than the Ferrari.
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799. But that doesn't matter here.
It's all about front-end grip.
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800. Going in nicely
into the first corner.
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801. Whoa! A bit of slide, there.
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802. Okay, into Chicago once again.
Oh, no, no.
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803. That nose is running wide.
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804. GT40 has 150 more
brake horsepower
than the Ferrari
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805. and twice as much torque,
but it's American,
so of course...
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806. it won't be as good
through the corners.
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807. Right, here we go
into the Follow-Through.
Is he lifting?
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808. Yeah, saw the nose dip there
as he lifted.
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809. And coming up...
Ooh, that is very fast!
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810. You have to say,
it does look absolutely
fabulous out there
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811. as he comes out now
to the second to last corner.
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812. First half of the lap,
it was neck and neck
with the Ferrari.
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813. Can he pull it out here?
Now going through Gambon!
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814. Ooh, plenty of sliding there,
and across the line!
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815. Now look, it was never going
to beat these two, was it?
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816. - The hyper cars.
- No, I mean,
they cost three times more.
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817. They're like £320,000,
but this is the big one.
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818. Now, the producer of the show
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819. has actually bet me £5
that the Ford cannot
beat that Ferrari.
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820. He says that it weighs
a lot more,
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821. and that because
it's American,
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822. it doesn't do handling
as well as a Ferrari.
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823. I argue that
the sheer power of that
is going to pay dividends.
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824. - I'm genuinely
excited about this.
- You don't know, do you?
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825. - I have no idea.
- So, we had 1:22.3 to beat.
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826. 1:21.9!
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827. Whoa! Yes!
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828. I'm £5 richer!
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829. You'll need it.
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830. £5 richer. I shall put
the first gallon of fuel.
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831. Now, earlier on, James drove
this 400-horsepower Maserati.
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832. Then Jeremy trumped that
with a 550-horsepower Ford
we've just seen.
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833. But now, I'm gonna play
the power joker
with a jet engine.
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834. Let me show you how much power
one of those has got.
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835. Well, to find out
how powerful a jet engine is,
first you need a jet!
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836. Well, we've got one.
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837. A Boeing 747.
And it's ours for the day.
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838. And just in case you think
we're on a film set,
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839. have a look out the window,
that's real sky.
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840. The 747 is
one of the great machines
of our time, an icon.
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841. It's been around for 35 years
and has carried
3.6 billion people.
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842. Half the world's population
across the globe,
and it's big, too.
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843. The tail is six storeys high
and you could park
45 cars on the wings.
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844. And even though it weighs
almost 400 tonnes fully laden,
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845. and carries Miss Masseuse
and 386 passengers,
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846. it can still travel
at 575 miles an hour.
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847. Which brings us neatly
to the engines.
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848. They're big!
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849. These are
General Electric CF6s.
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850. They're 23 feet long
and they weigh six tonnes.
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851. One engine produces
58,000 pounds of thrust,
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852. and this has got four of them.
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853. But 58,000 pounds of thrust,
that's kind of meaningless.
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854. How do you get your head
around that sort of power?
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855. Our plan is to drive a car
behind this 747
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856. when the engines
are at full power.
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857. The question is,
how far can the engines
blow the car off course?
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858. It's not as easy
as you might think.
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859. It's too dangerous
to drive them under here,
behind the engines.
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860. They have to be well clear.
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861. In fact, they have to be
way back here,
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862. past the tail,
and then a bit more!
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863. That's a good 50 yards
behind the engines!
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864. The first car
we'll be subjecting
to a good stiff breeze
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865. is this Ford Mondeo.
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866. Modern, aerodynamic,
good at coping
with motorway crosswinds.
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867. Right, here we go.
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868. The pilot is easing up
the throttle,
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869. building up the power.
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870. Now, it's crucial
that we release the car
at exactly the right time,
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871. because if these engines
run at full thrust
for more than 20 seconds,
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872. they'll start to
rip up the runway.
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873. And then we'll be in trouble.
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874. Okay, the engines
are at full power,
and here comes the Mondeo.
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875. Now, can they blow
this 1.5-tonne car off course
from 50 yards away?
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876. Three, two...
Whoa, blimey! There it goes!
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877. The Mondeo must have been
blasted a good 50 feet.
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878. But we haven't finished yet.
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879. Well, that was a modern
streamlined, aerodynamic car.
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880. So, let's have another go now,
and see what happens
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881. when we let loose
the Top Gear crosswind
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882. on something a little more,
well, slab-sided.
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883. A Citroen 2CV.
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884. Big engine.
Lightweight hippy car.
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885. This should be fun.
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886. Okay, here we go again.
The engines are up to
58,000 pounds of thrust.
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887. The car is released.
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888. And three, two...
Whoa! Crikey!
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889. Yes, the 2CV really
doesn't like crosswinds.
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890. Well, there you go, you see.
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891. Next time you're out,
you think you might
encounter crosswinds
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892. or have to drive behind a 747
at take-off thrust,
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893. you're better off
with a Mondeo than a 2CV.
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894. It's a service we provide,
this stuff, you know.
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895. Yeah.
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896. - We're getting very good
at these public service films.
- I think so.
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897. Last week, we did
how much it cost
to run a moustache...
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898. - Yeah.
- ... in extra fuel.
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899. Uh, then there was that.
And next week,
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900. we're actually going to
answer the question
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901. that really is on the lips
of the nation this summer.
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902. Can you ski on a public road
behind the new Jaguar estate?
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903. Important question.
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904. So, see you then. Good night.
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