1. On today's show,
a pink Ford,Copy !req
2. a black man's Cadillac,Copy !req
3. and I go berserk
in a Silver Arrow.Copy !req
4. Good evening, and welcome
to one of Top Gear's
favourite cars.Copy !req
5. The Alfa Romeo 166.Copy !req
6. Been around a few years now.Copy !req
7. But, unfortunately,
you've never been able
to buy one.Copy !req
8. Because it depreciates
as fast as it accelerates.Copy !req
9. However, we think
we found a solution.Copy !req
10. We think we found a way
that you can afford one.Copy !req
11. An Alfa 166
like this is a sign
that you have exquisite taste.Copy !req
12. It shows the world that
you put aesthetics
above practicality,Copy !req
13. and that you won't simply
run with the pack.Copy !req
14. Put it like this,
alpha males buy BMWs.Copy !req
15. Alfas are for nice people.Copy !req
16. Unfortunately,
if you buy a 166 for £29,900,Copy !req
17. in a year,
it'll be worth £13,000.Copy !req
18. That's £17,000 gone!Copy !req
19. And that works out
at £325 a week.Copy !req
20. That's nearly 50 quid a day!Copy !req
21. 50 quid a day
in depreciation alone!Copy !req
22. The solution would be
to buy one second-hand.Copy !req
23. But you can't do that
because no one bought one new
in the first placeCopy !req
24. because the depreciation
was so bad.Copy !req
25. 166?Copy !req
26. They should've called it
the catch-22.Copy !req
27. Sales of this car
have been so pathetic,Copy !req
28. I really did think
Alfa would simply
stop selling it here.Copy !req
29. But they haven't.Copy !req
30. In fact, they've just
made it better.Copy !req
31. It's always been
a handsome car,Copy !req
32. but with its new nose
and new wheels,Copy !req
33. it's better than any other
big four-door saloon.Copy !req
34. It's as though
it's come down a pipeline
from the gods.Copy !req
35. You know what that is,
don't you?Copy !req
36. It's a little black dress.Copy !req
37. It's the kind of thing
you take to an embassy
cocktail partyCopy !req
38. at a schloss in Austria.Copy !req
39. And it's not
just a work of art
on the outside either.Copy !req
40. When it breaks down
and you have to get
the bonnet up,Copy !req
41. you're in
for a right old treat.Copy !req
42. Look at that.Copy !req
43. They've actually chromed
the inlet pipes
on the 3.2-litre V6 engine.Copy !req
44. Wonderful!Copy !req
45. I have to say, though,
it's not the fastest car
in the world.Copy !req
46. It's front wheel drive, too,
so it's not a thriller
in the corners either.Copy !req
47. But if you judge a car
on how it makes you feelCopy !req
48. rather than what it can do,Copy !req
49. the 166 is in a class
of its own.Copy !req
50. Unlike a BM or an Audi
which hum as they go along,
this one...Copy !req
51. it fizzes and it crackles.Copy !req
52. It sounds like an engine,
not like a monk.Copy !req
53. Think of it
as an Italian waiter,
waving its arms around.Copy !req
54. You don't get the food
any faster,Copy !req
55. but it's more
exciting somehow.Copy !req
56. Every time I see someone
going the other way in a Merc
or a BM or an Audi,Copy !req
57. I just wanna get
the window down
and shout at them,Copy !req
58. "You've bought the wrong car!"Copy !req
59. Did you know that in Italy
the traffic wardens' uniforms
are designed by FendiCopy !req
60. and their handbags by Gucci?Copy !req
61. The Italians are obsessed
with style and design,Copy !req
62. and that shows
with the interior of this car.Copy !req
63. It's by far away
the best thing about it.Copy !req
64. It's not exactly a buttonfest.Copy !req
65. I mean, there are no
sort of controls
all over the steering wheel.Copy !req
66. You don't even get
cup holders.Copy !req
67. But it's such
a nice place to be.Copy !req
68. You look forward
to doing the journeyCopy !req
69. just so you can come
and sit in it.Copy !req
70. God, I love this car.Copy !req
71. So, how,
you might be wondering,
could you afford such a thing?Copy !req
72. Well, to find out,
I've come to Yorkshire,Copy !req
73. home of the coalfields
that powered
the British Empire.Copy !req
74. 100 years ago,
there were 3,000 pits
in Britain.Copy !req
75. Today, there are just 18.Copy !req
76. And that's been
really bad news for Yorkshire,Copy !req
77. because even 20 years ago
there were 54 pits here.Copy !req
78. Now, this one's a museum.Copy !req
79. There are only seven left.Copy !req
80. This collapse
has had a dramatic effect
on the price of housesCopy !req
81. where the miners used to live.Copy !req
82. Today, the average house price
across the whole country
is £150,000.Copy !req
83. But here in the village
of Hemsworth, property
is a little cheaper than that.Copy !req
84. This house here, for instance,
is up for auction next monthCopy !req
85. with a reserve price
of just £7,500.Copy !req
86. Like the dado stencils.Copy !req
87. It's arranged
over four storeys.
Two bedrooms.Copy !req
88. And I must say,
I do like the distressed lookCopy !req
89. that's been achieved
by the previous owners.Copy !req
90. Though, that said, I do think
this exposed plasterboard here
is a bit '80s, really.Copy !req
91. I'm not sure this glass carpet
is very practical.Copy !req
92. And, um, and the window.
Nice effect,
but a bit draughty.Copy !req
93. Thing is though, you're always
seeing programmesCopy !req
94. where people go off to France
to find a bargain. Why?Copy !req
95. We got bargains here!Copy !req
96. If you truly love cars,
why waste £325 a week
on a big, expensive mortgage?Copy !req
97. Why not move here
and spend the money instead
on a 166?Copy !req
98. I mean, think about it!Copy !req
99. I know it's not a great house.Copy !req
100. But you'd be able
to sit here knowingCopy !req
101. that every time
you looked out of the window,Copy !req
102. you'd be able to see
your very own Alfa Romeo.Copy !req
103. Oh, f...Copy !req
104. Actually, that was quite
an expensive house,
I should point out.Copy !req
105. I was talking
to an estate agent
while I was up there.Copy !req
106. And he said,
a couple of years ago,Copy !req
107. he valued
an old miner's house
at nought!Copy !req
108. Now, it's time for Top Gear
to answer a big question.Copy !req
109. It's been on the lips
of the nation for years.
And it's this.Copy !req
110. Can a nun
drive a monster truck?Copy !req
111. This is Sister Wendy.Copy !req
112. She's a nun
and she drives
a Vauxhall Nova.Copy !req
113. Like all nuns,
she does nice things.Copy !req
114. Sister Wendy serves food
to old people.Copy !req
115. Do you want some ice cream?Copy !req
116. She belongs to the Order
of Grace and Compassion
of Benedictine nuns.Copy !req
117. They're hardcore nuns
who pray five times a day.Copy !req
118. Most importantly,
the Sisters believeCopy !req
119. in the creed
of the conversion of life,
which is, and I quote,Copy !req
120. "A constant turning away
from anything
that might take themCopy !req
121. "from their search for God."Copy !req
122. But, hey! Everyone has to
let their hair down
once in a while.Copy !req
123. Which is why she, today,
is gonna drive
that over those.Copy !req
124. This is Blown Thunder,
Britain's most powerful
monster truck.Copy !req
125. It's got a supercharged
dragster engine.Copy !req
126. It weighs 4.5 tonnes.Copy !req
127. But it can still do
nought to 60
in four seconds.Copy !req
128. And that's because
it's got 1,700 horsepower.Copy !req
129. That takes
a lot of skill to drive.Copy !req
130. So, can our Nova-driving nun
find the divine inspiration
to do it?Copy !req
131. Sister Wendy,
how are you feeling?Copy !req
132. - Nervous, but excited.
- Good.Copy !req
133. - You looking forward to this?
- I am.Copy !req
134. - Done it before?
- No.Copy !req
135. No, me neither,
if truth be told. Right.Copy !req
136. Well, let's bring it over.
You can have a look at it.Copy !req
137. Trevor, bring it on.Copy !req
138. - It's started.
Yeah, that's it.
- Oh, my...Copy !req
139. He's definitely
started that. Yeah.Copy !req
140. Up until now,
Sister Wendy has never even
seen a monster truck.Copy !req
141. - There it is.
- Oh, my sweet Lord!Copy !req
142. Oh, my goodness, me!Copy !req
143. Sister Wendy,
meet Blown Thunder.Copy !req
144. I can't believe
we're putting a nun in there!Copy !req
145. I'm not quite sure
I can believe you're putting
a nun in there, either!Copy !req
146. The truck's owner,
Trevor, has never let a nun
drive it before.Copy !req
147. He's understandably nervous.Copy !req
148. But, perhaps, not as nervous
as Sister Wendy.Copy !req
149. She's got a lot to learn.Copy !req
150. For one thing,
she's got to get
the speed just right.Copy !req
151. If she hits the cars
too slowly,Copy !req
152. the whole thing rocks
and she could fall off.Copy !req
153. If she hits them too fast,Copy !req
154. she'll get closer to God
than she thought
she was gonna do today.Copy !req
155. And best of all,
there's only one seat.Copy !req
156. He can be with her
for the training,Copy !req
157. but when it comes to the jump,
she's on her own.Copy !req
158. - Good God!
- There you go.Copy !req
159. - Sit down.
- It's quite comfortable now.Copy !req
160. It's just, not being able
to see where I can put
my feet.Copy !req
161. Now, this isn't some
soppy game show, like You Bet!Copy !req
162. There's real danger here.Copy !req
163. Danger that the nun
could hurt herself,Copy !req
164. or blow up Blown Thunder.Copy !req
165. With Trevor in the cab,
Sister Wendy gets
used to a vehicleCopy !req
166. with 20 times
the power of her Nova.Copy !req
167. After half an hour,
Trevor, with some reluctance,
jumps out,Copy !req
168. and lets Sister Wendy
go for it.Copy !req
169. Okay, this is it!Copy !req
170. In just a few moments,
Sister Wendy will get
closer to God.Copy !req
171. About 10 feet closer.Copy !req
172. If she does this, nuns rock!Copy !req
173. This is it!Copy !req
174. She's up! She's up!Copy !req
175. She's going off it!
She's stopped!Copy !req
176. She's moving!
She's falling off the car!Copy !req
177. She's falling over!
She has done it!Copy !req
178. And that was a nun
in a monster truck!Copy !req
179. That was the coolest thing
I have ever seen!Copy !req
180. Are you all right?Copy !req
181. Yes! Thank you, Lord!Copy !req
182. Wow!Copy !req
183. Sister... Sister Wendy!Copy !req
184. Sister Wendy,
that was magnificent!Copy !req
185. And that was
one small step for a nun,
but a giant leap for nunkind!Copy !req
186. Okay, let's do the news.Copy !req
187. And I want to start down here
with the Volvo XC90,Copy !req
188. because, for the last
couple of years,Copy !req
189. it's had the middle classes
all to itself.Copy !req
190. But not any more because
look what we've got here.Copy !req
191. It's the new
Land Rover Discovery.Copy !req
192. And I have to admit,
I was never a fan
of the old oneCopy !req
193. 'cause it was only bought
by two different types
of people,Copy !req
194. murderers, who needed the...Copy !req
195. It was! They needed
the four-wheel drive system
to get far into the woodsCopy !req
196. to bury their victims,
and Wendy Craig.Copy !req
197. They were the only people
that bought it.Copy !req
198. The new one now,
I think it looks
utterly fabulous,Copy !req
199. and I like what they've done
with the underside as well,Copy !req
200. because it's not
as sophisticated
as a Range Rover,Copy !req
201. but it's not as farmyard-y
as a Defender.Copy !req
202. And that means, really,
you'll be able to go much
further up a mountainCopy !req
203. than you would in a Volvo.Copy !req
204. And you get
the same sort of blend
on the inside, too.Copy !req
205. Look, it's kind
of utilitarian, but stylish.Copy !req
206. Kind of like
a designer Wellington.Copy !req
207. There is, however,
one problem that I can see.Copy !req
208. You see, in the Volvo,Copy !req
209. the engine, which,
if you go for the diesel,
isn't very good,Copy !req
210. is mounted sideways.Copy !req
211. And that means you've got
more space, short bonnet,
more space in the cabin.Copy !req
212. Now, in the Land Rover,Copy !req
213. you get the engine,
which is a big Jag V8
in this one,Copy !req
214. that's mounted lengthwise,
so there's less space.Copy !req
215. And that shows up
if we go round to the back.Copy !req
216. See, if I open up
the tailgate of the Volvo,Copy !req
217. we can see that even with
all seven seats in place,Copy !req
218. you've still got room
for a kiddie's bicycle.Copy !req
219. Now let me take it over
to the Land Rover, okay?Copy !req
220. All seven seats up...Copy !req
221. Um...Copy !req
222. That's going to break...
Oh, dear, it's just going
to break the window. Oh, dear.Copy !req
223. I think he's talking rubbish!Copy !req
224. - I think he's talking rubbish.
- I love that Discovery.Copy !req
225. - I think it blitzes the XC90.
- I really like it.Copy !req
226. What square-jawed,
matinee-idol good looks.Copy !req
227. Yeah. I think
it looks nice, too.Copy !req
228. No. I'm sorry.Copy !req
229. If you had loins
as productive as mine...Copy !req
230. Overactive!Copy !req
231. and you had
a lot of children,
you'd have to have the Volvo.Copy !req
232. Because you can put
the children in it
and things in the boot.Copy !req
233. Kiddie's bike, nonsense.Copy !req
234. I don't care!
I don't want to put
a kiddie's bike in the boot!Copy !req
235. What do you want to put
in the boot?Copy !req
236. I'd rather be able to put
adults in the third row seatCopy !req
237. and you cannot do that
in the Volvo. You can't.Copy !req
238. Why would you ever want to put
adults in the back of the car.Copy !req
239. I have friends.Copy !req
240. - I haven't.
- Well, then maybe we're always
gonna disagree on that.Copy !req
241. It is... I'm sorry,
the Discovery is by far
the better machine.Copy !req
242. That interior is clever.Copy !req
243. Have you seen the back seats
in the Discovery?Copy !req
244. - Have you tried
to get into the back?
- They're magnificent!Copy !req
245. This...
You can get...Copy !req
246. Well, you won't get in
because you're...
They built that car...Copy !req
247. Jesus is here!Copy !req
248. And we never knew!Copy !req
249. Wow!Copy !req
250. Who have we booked
as the guest this week?Copy !req
251. Maybe he's not
supposed to be on yet.Copy !req
252. Is he the guest?Copy !req
253. That would be something!Copy !req
254. It would mean
we'd get some viewers.Copy !req
255. How did you do
on the track, Jesus?Copy !req
256. At least I'm not too tall
for my hair, eh, Jeremy.Copy !req
257. And Jesus...
And Jesus is funny!Copy !req
258. Jesus has just said
that he's not too tall
for his hair!Copy !req
259. You'd help me
in and out anyway,
wouldn't you?Copy !req
260. Shut up now, Jesus!Copy !req
261. - That's probably enough.
- That's enough, really,
from Jesus.Copy !req
262. Shush!
James is going to speak.Copy !req
263. Right, the new VW Golf GTI.Copy !req
264. - Ooh.
- Here it is.Copy !req
265. Now, when the original
Golf GTI was launched,
1975, I think,Copy !req
266. it was very, very popular
for one reason, which was...Copy !req
267. - It was quick.
- It was very quick.Copy !req
268. It was the quickest.Copy !req
269. But over the years,
the Golf GTI has
put on weight.Copy !req
270. - Yeah.
- It's become more flabby,Copy !req
271. and eventually,
the GTI turned
into a bit of a fat G-I-T.Copy !req
272. So what you are saying?
This one they've gone
back to basics?Copy !req
273. Well, what they're
claiming is,Copy !req
274. "Seeing the errors
of our ways,
we're going back to basics.Copy !req
275. "This is a proper Golf GTI."Copy !req
276. Yes, but, you see,
the thing is,
is that I've beenCopy !req
277. doing some research into this.Copy !req
278. And it turns out,
its two-litre turbo engine
develops 200 brake horsepower.Copy !req
279. - Correct.
- 12 less than the Focus RS.Copy !req
280. - Correct.
- And I think
25 less than the...Copy !req
281. - Renault.
- Renault Megane 225.Copy !req
282. And is it lighter
than either of those two?Copy !req
283. - It's heavier than the Ford.
- There you go, you see.Copy !req
284. So, they've completely
missed the point.Copy !req
285. In America, the Cadillac brand
has been dying
on its feet for years,Copy !req
286. rather like its customers,
and that's the problem.Copy !req
287. It's hard to make a car coolCopy !req
288. when it's driven
largely by octogenarians
retired to Florida.Copy !req
289. But when the young black guys
start talking about it,
that's a different matter.Copy !req
290. And it's this
particular CadillacCopy !req
291. that they're all
talking about.Copy !req
292. The Cadillac Escalade.Copy !req
293. It now features in more
rap and R&B lyrics
than just about any other car.Copy !req
294. And why is it so popular?Copy !req
295. Well, don't think
it's because it's a good car.Copy !req
296. It weighs,
and I'm not joking here,Copy !req
297. the best part of three tonnes.Copy !req
298. Basically, imagine
putting wing mirrorsCopy !req
299. on a three-bedroomed semi,
and you've just about got it.Copy !req
300. So, it's best just
to take those corners gentlyCopy !req
301. and try not to notice
that your miles per gallonCopy !req
302. are barely
into double figures.Copy !req
303. American cars usually have
pretty rubbish interiors.Copy !req
304. And inside the Escalade,
it's business as usual.Copy !req
305. Look.Copy !req
306. They've just cut a wheelie bin
in half to make that big bit.Copy !req
307. It's all one lump of plastic.Copy !req
308. In America, you can buy
one of these motorised
shopping malls for £28,000.Copy !req
309. But as is the way
with these things,Copy !req
310. by the time it gets over here,
with some toys on it,
and the forms filled out,Copy !req
311. it's £50,000.Copy !req
312. So, for 50 grand,Copy !req
313. would you have this
over a Range Rover
or a BMW X5?Copy !req
314. Um... No.Copy !req
315. You see, as a car,
the big Caddy
is pretty poor at best,Copy !req
316. but that really
is missing the point.Copy !req
317. No, its magnificence,
its popularity,
lies with its bling factor.Copy !req
318. Let's start
with its sheer size.Copy !req
319. We think Range Rovers
are immense,Copy !req
320. but the Escalade
is a full two feet longer.Copy !req
321. That's 18 feet, end-to-end.Copy !req
322. People are scared of this car.Copy !req
323. It's fantastic.Copy !req
324. Thank you. Yeah,
I'd have waited as well.
I don't blame you.Copy !req
325. And it's this bulk
that gives it huge presence
and charisma.Copy !req
326. Which, according to comedian
and Top GearCopy !req
327. bling consultant,
Junior Simpson,Copy !req
328. is very important.Copy !req
329. Bling is not fashion.
All right? It's a way of life.Copy !req
330. The main goal is
it's got to be big.Copy !req
331. It's gotta be brash,
it's gotta be out there.Copy !req
332. People got to look at you
and say, "Money".Copy !req
333. You know what I mean?
Making sure you've got
sovereigns, rings all over.Copy !req
334. Basically, you wear
and you ride in
your entire bank account.Copy !req
335. - That's pretty bling.
- This is, probably,
the ultimate bling vehicle.Copy !req
336. And while
I've been worrying about
how tinny the dashboard is,Copy !req
337. I've been missing
the really important details.Copy !req
338. Look at it again.Copy !req
339. But this time,
look at those wheels.Copy !req
340. You look at the wheels
and you think, "Ooh".Copy !req
341. These are, "Ooh!"Copy !req
342. And just
as important as the wheels,
are the tinted windows.Copy !req
343. Tinted windows work,
all right?Copy !req
344. Because you can
roll down the windows
so the honeys can see you.Copy !req
345. You want all the honeys
to notice you, okay?Copy !req
346. "Wh'appen, baby?"
You can do
that kind of thing.Copy !req
347. Even you can say,
"Wh'appen, baby?"Copy !req
348. - What you said.
- What I just said.Copy !req
349. But then, if you spot someone
that you don't want to see...Copy !req
350. Earlier on,
I moaned that you can't drive
the Escalade quickly.Copy !req
351. But in bling terms,
that is the whole point.Copy !req
352. A bling vehicle
will get you from A to B,
but you'll get to B very late.Copy !req
353. - Like that?
- Exactly, you need
to be laidback.Copy !req
354. - Yeah.
- Lay back. Almost...Copy !req
355. Actually, if you can get
a deck chair in there,
that'd be wicked.Copy !req
356. Bling is brilliant.Copy !req
357. Why burden yourself
with peps and a pensionCopy !req
358. when you can put
everything you've got
into your car?Copy !req
359. People got to know
you got money in your pocket
even if you don't.Copy !req
360. You can have a car like this
and still live with your mum.Copy !req
361. - Really?
And that's still cool?
- That's the beautiful thing.Copy !req
362. - That's cool
because... Exactly.
- Seriously?Copy !req
363. Because she'll let you
park your car outside,Copy !req
364. but she'll also
do your laundry.Copy !req
365. Brothers that I know
that would have
something like thisCopy !req
366. can't even afford
to put the petrol in.Copy !req
367. They'll have, probably,
a maximumCopy !req
368. of £7 worth of petrol in there
at any one time.Copy !req
369. Well, that would get you
about to there.
There. You have it.Copy !req
370. Do you have any idea
how monumentally stupid
you looked driving this car?Copy !req
371. - Ah, yes.
- 'Cause when you went
past that girl,Copy !req
372. you could see it in her eyes,
as the window was coming down,
she's thinking,Copy !req
373. "There's no one in it!"Copy !req
374. And the window got lower,
"Oh, yes, there's
a microscopic little white manCopy !req
375. - "standing on the seat!"
- Yeah.Copy !req
376. But, at the time, I felt like
a six-foot black rapper.Copy !req
377. I felt brilliant... Shut up!Copy !req
378. You see,
the thing is, Richard,Copy !req
379. they're laughing at you
and I don't blame
them because...Copy !req
380. I looked fine, didn't I?Copy !req
381. You know
your Jay-Zed man, right?Copy !req
382. - "Zee."
- He says
this Cadillac... "Zed."Copy !req
383. Cadillac Marmalade, right?Copy !req
384. He says
this is the blingiest car
that there is.Copy !req
385. But the thing
I've been wondering is,
can you bling any car?Copy !req
386. - Probably not.
- See, the Volvo XC90 is what
I've got in mind, okay?Copy !req
387. That's a kind of...
They have...Copy !req
388. You've been standing on a box!Copy !req
389. It's a big car. Not really.Copy !req
390. It's a kind of Daily Telegraph
of cars, really, XC90.Copy !req
391. - It's Jilly Cooper.
- Middle England.Copy !req
392. Exactly. Now,
I've got one under here
which I've blinged up.Copy !req
393. - Okay, are you ready?
- This will be good.Copy !req
394. - Here we go! Look at this!
- Look what I've done.Copy !req
395. That is rubbish, Jeremy!Copy !req
396. I've put spinners on it.Copy !req
397. And the idea with these,
is that they spin...Copy !req
398. - Yeah!
- When it's going along,
that's still...Copy !req
399. - When you stop, it does that.
- They're cool.Copy !req
400. But on a car this size,
they need to be
about twice as big!Copy !req
401. - But do you know
how much these are?
- Lots, go on.Copy !req
402. - £11,000 for four of them!
- Yeah.Copy !req
403. If you go for the big ones,
they're 25,000 quid!Copy !req
404. That's the whole point,
you fool!Copy !req
405. You gotta drape it in money,
that's the look!Copy !req
406. - I've tinted the windows.
- No, it's rubbish.Copy !req
407. I'm sorry, you've blown it.
It's garbage.Copy !req
408. So, what if I get
like a big ring
and a pearl necklace?Copy !req
409. That's a different lifestyle
choice you're making.Copy !req
410. Should I get a guest on
now then?Copy !req
411. Yeah. Is he a black rapper?Copy !req
412. No, but he can make you think
you are one.Copy !req
413. He messes with your mind.
He's a hypnotist.Copy !req
414. Ladies and gentlemen,
Paul McKenna!Copy !req
415. - Hi, Paul. Good to see you.
- How are you?Copy !req
416. - Very good, thanks.
Have a seat.
- Yes.Copy !req
417. Now I should make it plain,
normally we get a guest on,Copy !req
418. we rabbit through
a few of your old cars
that you've had,Copy !req
419. a few crashes and so on
and then you do a lap
and then you go home.Copy !req
420. - Yeah.
- Not today, though.
Slightly different.Copy !req
421. What Paul's going to do
is a lap, yes?Copy !req
422. - Yep, I've done the lap.
- Done that already.Copy !req
423. And then, as a quid pro quo,
you're gonna do
something for us.Copy !req
424. You're gonna
hypnotise someone.Copy !req
425. I am indeed, yes.Copy !req
426. Uh, well, first of all,
your lap. How did it go?Copy !req
427. Well, you know,
I think of myself
as a calm person...Copy !req
428. - Mmm-hmm.
- ... but I'm afraidCopy !req
429. after two or three times
around the circuit,Copy !req
430. I got more and more
intensely into it.Copy !req
431. And, even now... I actually
had to do some techniques
to calm myself down.Copy !req
432. In fact, if anyone
from the DVLA
is watching,Copy !req
433. just give me
the 12 points now, you know.Copy !req
434. - Do the sensible thing.
- It builds you up a bit
out there.Copy !req
435. Yeah, I did take it
very seriously.
I was quite surprised.Copy !req
436. So, who'd like to see
what happened when Paul
was doing some practising?Copy !req
437. - Yes!
- Run the tape.Copy !req
438. This is Paul practising.Copy !req
439. And that's coming on
to the main straight.Copy !req
440. Oh, hardest corner,
the second to last corner,Copy !req
441. threading a needle
at 100 miles an hour and...Copy !req
442. Oh, Lord!Copy !req
443. Quite calm?Copy !req
444. Very good, still.
You then went out again.Copy !req
445. How many
practise runs are you given?
A fair few, aren't you?Copy !req
446. - Uh, yes, that's right.
- A fair few.Copy !req
447. Who'd like to see
the finished lap?Copy !req
448. - Yes?
- Yes.Copy !req
449. Okay, let's have a look,
how we got on.Copy !req
450. What do you
think of the car?Copy !req
451. Uh, I ain't gonna swap
the Ferrari for it.Copy !req
452. No, exactly.
But it's reasonably priced
as we keep saying.Copy !req
453. That's nice,
through your first corner.Copy !req
454. Tidier than Fay Ripley
last week.Copy !req
455. - Interesting faces!
- It's the faces!Copy !req
456. You look like
you're sitting on something.Copy !req
457. How many more
facial expressions
can we get?Copy !req
458. It looks like
you're trying to getCopy !req
459. a grand piano
up a fire escape,
really, I would say.Copy !req
460. And onto the main straight.
Now, this is where you had
the problem in practice,Copy !req
461. but you've learned
your lesson
by the looks of things.Copy !req
462. Ooh!Copy !req
463. Sort of learned your lesson,
round the last corner.Copy !req
464. And there we are,
across the line.Copy !req
465. So...Copy !req
466. Where do you think
you'd like to have come
on our board?Copy !req
467. Well, I want to beat
Rob Brydon,Copy !req
468. because I spoke to him
on the phone yesterday,Copy !req
469. - and he said...
- Well, that's aiming high.Copy !req
470. "Watch when you wear
that helmet, it doesn't
mess your hair up."Copy !req
471. And... But I don't think
J.K. would be very happyCopy !req
472. if I beat him, so...Copy !req
473. So you've been looking
at somewhere
between 1:48, 1:48.6.Copy !req
474. I'd be deliriously happy
if it was there.Copy !req
475. But, you know, I mean,
looking at that film,
I don't know.Copy !req
476. - Well, your facial expressions
were fantastic.
- It worries meCopy !req
477. what I might look like
when I'm having sex
now, actually.Copy !req
478. I would hope not like that.Copy !req
479. You did it.Copy !req
480. Let's hope I last longer
than 1:48, is all.Copy !req
481. You've guessed right.Copy !req
482. You did it in one minuteCopy !req
483. - 48 seconds, dead!
- No!Copy !req
484. So...Copy !req
485. You're tied with J.K.
You've beaten Rob Brydon.Copy !req
486. You're one of the sort
of big triumvirate there,
the Jodie Kidd, J.K. thing.Copy !req
487. Now...Copy !req
488. Okay, we've given you
some fun and games
in our car.Copy !req
489. Now you're gonna give us
some fun and games.Copy !req
490. - Yes?
- I am indeed. Yes.Copy !req
491. Um, you're going
to hypnotise someone.Copy !req
492. - Yep.
- It can't be me.Copy !req
493. We've tried that in the past.
It didn't really work.Copy !req
494. We don't think James is right,
so that would be, um, shirt.Copy !req
495. Boy, are we going to have
some fun with him!Copy !req
496. But for now, everyone,
thank you, Paul McKenna!Copy !req
497. Thank you.Copy !req
498. Very good one. Very good one.Copy !req
499. Right, well.Copy !req
500. We'll... We'll see about that.Copy !req
501. Anyway, James, you haven't
really contributed muchCopy !req
502. to the sort of blingness
of this whole programme,
have you really?Copy !req
503. No, but I can do.Copy !req
504. Right, this should be good.Copy !req
505. Right, all right. Now,
you know there's a new
Thunderbirds film out.Copy !req
506. - Yes?
- Yes.Copy !req
507. And surely,
the mother of all bling
was Lady Penelope.Copy !req
508. Now, she was white,
and she had no rhythm,Copy !req
509. but that's 'cause
she was a puppet.Copy !req
510. What she did have was
a really massive pink car
with six wheels.Copy !req
511. It was a futuristic
Rolls Royce called FAB 1:Copy !req
512. And it was only a model,
so turning it round was easy.Copy !req
513. But for the new
Thunderbirds film,
there's a new FAB 1,Copy !req
514. and this time manoeuvring it
isn't going to be
quite so easy.Copy !req
515. From nose to tail,
it's 27 feet long.Copy !req
516. That's the height
of a three-storey building.Copy !req
517. Not only is this not a model,
it's not even a Rolls Royce.Copy !req
518. They were asked
to design a car,Copy !req
519. but they were far
too busy working on
the new Phantom.Copy !req
520. So, this is a Ford.Copy !req
521. So it lacks absolute
snob appeal,Copy !req
522. but it more than
makes up for that
in other ways.Copy !req
523. That is the best combined
roof and door opening action
I've ever seen.Copy !req
524. Inside, there's room
for just two people.Copy !req
525. Her ladyship
reclines back here.Copy !req
526. Her faithful chauffeur,
Parker, sits here.Copy !req
527. But the interior is fantastic.Copy !req
528. There's lashings of
cream leather and chrome.Copy !req
529. And my favourite bit,
some real shag pile.Copy !req
530. But the fixtures and fittings
aren't the thing I like
most about this car.Copy !req
531. What I really like
is that it works.Copy !req
532. Let's face it,
Lady Penelope and Parker,Copy !req
533. they were
the original blingsters.Copy !req
534. They were like the sort of
J-Lo and Puff Diddly,Copy !req
535. but of the puppet world.Copy !req
536. I'm not sure
I really understand bling,
but I think this must be it.Copy !req
537. I mean, it's got 24-inch rims
and blacked-out glass.Copy !req
538. It's wicked.Copy !req
539. It is completely road legal.Copy !req
540. It even has a tax disc, look.Copy !req
541. So, I'm gonna take it off
around NorthamptonshireCopy !req
542. to solve some international
crisis in the East Midlands.Copy !req
543. This is Thunderbirds,
so there are a few
strings attached.Copy !req
544. This may be road legal,
but it isn't driver-friendly.Copy !req
545. I think I'm going to go left.Copy !req
546. Steering it is like helming
a Spanish galleon.Copy !req
547. And there's another problem.Copy !req
548. Remember, this thing
is 27 feet long,
and that, strangely,Copy !req
549. is the length of
the average British village.Copy !req
550. So, the two don't
mix very well.Copy !req
551. Right, mini roundabout.Copy !req
552. Thunderbirds are go!Copy !req
553. Whoa!Copy !req
554. Sorry, madam.Copy !req
555. Ah, I've just discoveredCopy !req
556. that there are no mirrors
on this thing.Copy !req
557. Here comes the local builder.
Sorry, mate.Copy !req
558. It's just not gonna
go through there.Copy !req
559. I've stopped
on a zebra crossing.Copy !req
560. Yeah, sorry.Copy !req
561. Sorry!
I forgot how long it was.Copy !req
562. I don't remember
Parker having to
apologise this much.Copy !req
563. He just used to say,
"Yes, m'lady", all the time.Copy !req
564. Sorry.Copy !req
565. Yes, sir, well, your car's
not exactly manly
either, is it?Copy !req
566. Look at it.Copy !req
567. We have successfully driven
through Knebworth.Copy !req
568. I don't think anybody noticed.Copy !req
569. It may be top bling,
but FAB 1 is largely uselessCopy !req
570. on anything but wide,
straight roads.Copy !req
571. So, if you were Lady Penelope,
there's only one place
in Britain you could live.Copy !req
572. Oh, dear.Copy !req
573. So, I aks you, is I bling?Copy !req
574. In that jacket, mate,
I don't think so.Copy !req
575. Um, okay. Now,
while you were watching
James in his pink car,Copy !req
576. Richard was taken outside
by Paul and hypnotised.Copy !req
577. He was then presented
with the red, very powerful,
Alfa RomeoCopy !req
578. that we saw earlier, okay.Copy !req
579. And this, Richard,
is what happened.Copy !req
580. Uh, well, earlier on in
the show, we saw Jeremy
talking about this Alfa.Copy !req
581. And he wimped out
of taking it for a drive.Copy !req
582. He said it made him cry,
the big wet.Copy !req
583. So, I'm gonna
show you how to do it
and give it a bit of a lap.Copy !req
584. Excuse me.
Sleep, sleep, sleep. Relax.Copy !req
585. Deep, deep, deep, deep.Copy !req
586. Because, when you wake up,Copy !req
587. you will be completely
unable to remember
how to drive a car.Copy !req
588. It will be confusing to you.Copy !req
589. You'll remember
how to get into it,Copy !req
590. but you won't be able
to remember how to drive it.Copy !req
591. Eyes open, wide awake!Copy !req
592. So, uh, this is
a neat-looking car,
isn't it?Copy !req
593. - It is. It's very hot.
- Can I come
for a ride with you?Copy !req
594. Yep, no problem.Copy !req
595. Right.Copy !req
596. Okay, um, have you
heard about this thing?Copy !req
597. - Uh, yes.
- Astonishing engine on it.Copy !req
598. It's got 370 brake horsepower.Copy !req
599. Right, well... Well...Copy !req
600. - Shall we get going, then?
- Yep.Copy !req
601. Give us a sec,
I just want to think
about this, um...Copy !req
602. 'Cause, obviously,
I drive a lot
of different cars,Copy !req
603. so you've got to
familiarise yourself with it.Copy !req
604. - Yeah, they're all different.
- All of them.Copy !req
605. How does this one start,
do you think?Copy !req
606. Um, you start it
in the usual...
There's a button.Copy !req
607. - Which button?
- No, there's...Copy !req
608. Is it that button?Copy !req
609. No, no, it's not that.Copy !req
610. No, it's the, um...Copy !req
611. There's... It'll be like
a starter thing there.Copy !req
612. I think that's
the cigarette lighter.Copy !req
613. Yeah, I know. Yeah, it is.Copy !req
614. That's right. There's, um...Copy !req
615. These make it hot,
if you turn those around.Copy !req
616. Aren't they great?
So, it's quite well equipped.Copy !req
617. Uh, shall we get going, then?Copy !req
618. Yep. Yeah, let's do that.Copy !req
619. There you go. It's that.Copy !req
620. Um...Copy !req
621. That's not the engine,
obviously. This is...Copy !req
622. You do this...Copy !req
623. Oh! That's bad.Copy !req
624. Um... That's... Ooh!Copy !req
625. Hang on a minute.Copy !req
626. Oh, you've stopped it now.Copy !req
627. You've stopped that there.Copy !req
628. Um, it'll be, um...Copy !req
629. You start it with the usual...
For God's sake.Copy !req
630. Um... Well, the usual thing.Copy !req
631. You start the thing up
and then we go.Copy !req
632. Um...Copy !req
633. It's... You just...Copy !req
634. It's easy.
We start it up and then we go.Copy !req
635. Can you not
remember how to drive this?Copy !req
636. Um, yes!Copy !req
637. - Yes, I remember
how to drive it.
- Yeah.Copy !req
638. It's my job.Copy !req
639. Um...Copy !req
640. God's sake, no, we just...Copy !req
641. Is it one of those?Copy !req
642. - No.
- What is this called?Copy !req
643. It's the, um...Copy !req
644. It's the...
It's the big control.Copy !req
645. - "Big control"?
- Yeah.Copy !req
646. What does this do here?Copy !req
647. - Don't know.
- You don't know.Copy !req
648. Do you know
what that's called?Copy !req
649. No.Copy !req
650. What do you think that does?Copy !req
651. That probably...
You could... That...Copy !req
652. You could... That...
That turns it.Copy !req
653. - That turns it,
this knob here does.
- Yep.Copy !req
654. - Yeah.
- Yep. So, you can left
or you can right,Copy !req
655. and then you can...
You can go faster.Copy !req
656. - Slower with that knob?
- Yeah. It's a joystick.Copy !req
657. - It's a joystick.
- It's a joystick, yeah.Copy !req
658. Yeah, okay.Copy !req
659. And, sleep.Copy !req
660. And relax, deeply back down.Copy !req
661. Now, when I wake you,
you'll be completely ableCopy !req
662. to remember how
to drive a car.Copy !req
663. Your memory of driving
a car will return.Copy !req
664. You will no longer
feel confused.Copy !req
665. Returning to normal wake
and consciousness as your
normal self in every way.Copy !req
666. Wide awake. Wakey, wakey.Copy !req
667. So, anyway,
we were about to go
for a drive in this, I think.Copy !req
668. - Yep.
- Yeah. I just don't know
how it starts.Copy !req
669. Um, I'm a bit far away, here.Copy !req
670. Right.Copy !req
671. Jeremy's the world's
biggest wuss scared of
a front-wheel drive carCopy !req
672. with 370 brake horsepower.Copy !req
673. Well...Copy !req
674. Hang on,
I'm slightly worried now.Copy !req
675. That's my livelihood!Copy !req
676. Have you... Did you know?
I've got to find out.Copy !req
677. What did you think
was going on?Copy !req
678. I was confused.
Do you know what
I kept thinking of?Copy !req
679. The coffee machine.
We've got a coffee machineCopy !req
680. in our room where we sit
and wait to do thisCopy !req
681. and it's got all knobs on it.Copy !req
682. And I don't know
what any of them do.Copy !req
683. You thought you were sitting
in a coffee machine?Copy !req
684. No, I didn't think it was
the coffee machine.Copy !req
685. It was just like...
Oh, I don't know.Copy !req
686. You know, uh...
It's difficult to explain,Copy !req
687. but when I go up
to that coffee machine,Copy !req
688. I couldn't make myself
a coffee out of that
to save my life, okay.Copy !req
689. And it's just knobs
that you twiddle,
and it was like that.Copy !req
690. And so, when you set off
and the boot came open,Copy !req
691. and the indicator was on,
that's 'cause he pulled
every single...Copy !req
692. - Every button.
- I mean...Copy !req
693. I really don't like you.Copy !req
694. Well, it's interesting
you should say thatCopy !req
695. because he is still presumably
under your spell now.Copy !req
696. - Yeah.
- You could put him
to sleep now?Copy !req
697. Yeah, I could.Copy !req
698. - Go on.
- Don't look so worried.Copy !req
699. Just go back to sleep.Copy !req
700. Relax. There we go.Copy !req
701. Deeply down. That's right.Copy !req
702. - And he's now under.
- He is.Copy !req
703. And we could do
anything we liked with him.Copy !req
704. We...Copy !req
705. Within reason, yes,
just about anything.Copy !req
706. I mean, I should explain.
We couldn't show you actually
hypnotising him on TV,Copy !req
707. 'cause people at home
may be hypnotised.Copy !req
708. This has to be done in secret.Copy !req
709. But he's... He's gone.Copy !req
710. Yes, that's right.Copy !req
711. Hamster?Copy !req
712. He always reacts to hamster.Copy !req
713. So, if we were to bring out
like a pedal car now.Copy !req
714. - Yeah.
- We've got one in here.Copy !req
715. Something like this.Copy !req
716. Could we convince him...Copy !req
717. - 'Cause he's a big 911 fan.
- Mmm-hmm.Copy !req
718. Could we convince him
that's his brand new
911 Turbo,Copy !req
719. and to do a bit of
a road test for us?Copy !req
720. And for him to think that
it's just the best car
in the world,Copy !req
721. - nothing could
possibly beat it.
- Yep.Copy !req
722. And then, if anything were
to happen to his 911 Turbo,Copy !req
723. he'd be pretty livid about it.Copy !req
724. Yeah, I think so.
Let's give that a go.Copy !req
725. When you wake up,
the car that Jeremy points at,
in just a moment,Copy !req
726. you will believe
is a brand new,
gleaming 911.Copy !req
727. Your 911.Copy !req
728. You'll think it's faster
than any other car
in the world,Copy !req
729. you'll be convinced of that.Copy !req
730. And when you get in this car,Copy !req
731. you'll make the noise
that the 911 makes...Copy !req
732. as you pedal around
the studio floor.Copy !req
733. If anyone were to crash
into your 911,Copy !req
734. you'll be furious about that.Copy !req
735. Ready?Copy !req
736. Eyes open, wide awake. So...Copy !req
737. - What about this?
- 911. I've got one.Copy !req
738. - It's fantastic.
- That's your one, right?Copy !req
739. Yeah.Copy !req
740. Could you take it
for a drive for us?Copy !req
741. - Now?
- Tell us what it's...
Yeah, why not?Copy !req
742. Right on.Copy !req
743. This has got... Look!Copy !req
744. I love the finish on this.
It's beautiful, isn't it?Copy !req
745. The silver's extra.Copy !req
746. The only problem is
I'd rather have the newer oneCopy !req
747. because they've put
round head lamps in them now.Copy !req
748. Isn't it a bit cramped
in there? Isn't it a bit
cramped in that 911?Copy !req
749. Well, yeah.
They're not a big car.Copy !req
750. Well, why don't you
take it for a spinCopy !req
751. - and, you know,
do a Top Gear road test?
- Around here?Copy !req
752. Well, go easy. It's fast.
It's a fast car, right?Copy !req
753. Yeah, I don't want
to make a mess.
All right, fine.Copy !req
754. You know how to
push yourself along
if you get stuck.Copy !req
755. Yeah, no, that's fine.
We can...Copy !req
756. - Start the engine, maybe?
- Um...Copy !req
757. It is started,
you can hear that flat six
that they do.Copy !req
758. It's a proper racing noise.Copy !req
759. That's a... Listen to that!Copy !req
760. It's difficult in here
to do this.Copy !req
761. You see, it's got that
real biting sound to it.Copy !req
762. What are you doing in that?Copy !req
763. You look ridiculous!Copy !req
764. Watch it. Careful!
Careful! Careful! Damn it!Copy !req
765. I'm sorry, mate.Copy !req
766. Oh, damn it, man, that's new!Copy !req
767. I'm so sorry.Copy !req
768. Well, stop the
cameras or something,
'cause that's gonna...Copy !req
769. Oh, man!Copy !req
770. I'm really sorry.
That's actually dented...Copy !req
771. That's the only new car
I've had in my flaming life.Copy !req
772. No, it's gone and dented
the door in, look.Copy !req
773. I'm really sorry.
It'll buff out, I think.Copy !req
774. No, it bloody won't buff.Copy !req
775. No, we can't swear.Copy !req
776. Oh, come on,
I've never had a...Copy !req
777. Sorry, I've never had
a new car before and...Copy !req
778. With your stupid thing.Copy !req
779. Probably a good idea
actually, Paul, at this point,Copy !req
780. if you bring him
out of it now.Copy !req
781. Yes. Sleep and relax.Copy !req
782. Because when you wake up
you'll be completely backCopy !req
783. to being your normal self
in every way.Copy !req
784. If we could leave him like
that just for the time being.Copy !req
785. Oh, sure, yeah.Copy !req
786. That'll be good.Copy !req
787. When he wakes up,
he's still convinced
that's his car,Copy !req
788. 911s are the best car
in the world.Copy !req
789. Absolutely.
Yeah, certainly.Copy !req
790. So, for the rest of the show,Copy !req
791. you'll be convinced 911s
are not just the best carsCopy !req
792. but the fastest cars,
everything about them
is fantastic.Copy !req
793. Okay, let's just
leave him like that.Copy !req
794. But, for now,
ladies and gentlemen,
Paul McKenna.Copy !req
795. Thanks very much.Copy !req
796. Okay, now, petrolhead time
of the programme.Copy !req
797. Um, McLaren F1,
we've got a picture
of it here.Copy !req
798. Um, I was never really
a fan to be honest,Copy !req
799. because you had to win
the Premium Bond jackpotCopy !req
800. twice in order to be able
to afford one,Copy !req
801. so it wasn't even a dream car.
You were never gonna have one.Copy !req
802. Also, it wasn't
that brilliant to drive.
It had lift at speed,Copy !req
803. very twitchy at the back end.Copy !req
804. McLaren, anyway,
have had another go
at making a road car.Copy !req
805. Now, he drove it
in South Africa.Copy !req
806. Now, it's here on our track.Copy !req
807. Before we get there though,Copy !req
808. this is the supercharged
Mercedes SL55.Copy !req
809. It's part rapier,
part sledgehammer,
all hairdryer.Copy !req
810. It's the best
Mercedes could do,Copy !req
811. but still they went
to McLaren and asked
them to make it better.Copy !req
812. This is what
they came up with.Copy !req
813. It's called
the McLaren-Mercedes SLR.Copy !req
814. And, at first,
it's hard to see the point.Copy !req
815. I mean, the old McLaren F1,
the million-dollar supercar,
that was a one-off.Copy !req
816. There was nothing
to compare it to.Copy !req
817. But what we've got here
are two Mercs.Copy !req
818. They're both two-seaters,Copy !req
819. they both have 5.5-litre
supercharged V8 engines
at the front,Copy !req
820. they're both rear-wheel
drive and yet,Copy !req
821. that one with a foldaway roof
is £90,000.Copy !req
822. That one with a solid roof
is £312,000.Copy !req
823. Why?Copy !req
824. Well, that's what
I'm here to find out.Copy !req
825. It may have the same
sized engine as the SL,Copy !req
826. but that's where
the similarities end.Copy !req
827. This isn't a
500 brake horsepower
sledgehammer.Copy !req
828. It's a 600 horsepower
blunderbuss.Copy !req
829. My word, that is fast!Copy !req
830. And listen to that noise!Copy !req
831. Apparently, when they
were designing it,Copy !req
832. the guys from McLaren
kept saying,Copy !req
833. "It sounds like a Spitfire."Copy !req
834. The guys from Mercedes
were going,Copy !req
835. "Nein, nein, nein,
it sounds like
a Messerschmitt."Copy !req
836. They're both wrong, actually.Copy !req
837. It sounds like
the god of thunder.Copy !req
838. Gargling with nails.Copy !req
839. And the engine is only part
of this car's work over.Copy !req
840. You see, the body of the SLR,
and I mean all of it,Copy !req
841. is made from carbon fibre,
which is three times more
expensive than steel.Copy !req
842. That's the downside.Copy !req
843. The upside is that
it's very, very strongCopy !req
844. and very, very light.Copy !req
845. So, let's see what effect
the extra musclesCopy !req
846. and the low weight have
in a half-mile drag race.Copy !req
847. What's that little
dark blue speck back there?Copy !req
848. Now, the SL is a quick carCopy !req
849. in the same way that I'm good
with a tin of beans.Copy !req
850. But this is Gordon Ramsay.Copy !req
851. This is the full
626 brake horsepower,Copy !req
852. morel mushroom.Copy !req
853. This does nought to 60
in a pulverising 3.8 seconds.Copy !req
854. Top speed, 208.Copy !req
855. Welcome, everyone,
to the fastest automatic car
in the world.Copy !req
856. And actually, the way it
gathers speed is nothingCopy !req
857. compared to the way
it loses it.Copy !req
858. We're going to do
a simple test.Copy !req
859. Those cones are 240 feet
away from this line
and these cones here.Copy !req
860. Now, that's how long
the highway code saysCopy !req
861. it should take to pull up
from 60 miles an hour.Copy !req
862. But I'm not going
to be doing 60 miles an hour
as I cross this line.Copy !req
863. I'm going to be doing
double that. 120.Copy !req
864. That is extraordinary.Copy !req
865. All the organs in my bodyCopy !req
866. that were pushed
to the back when I acceleratedCopy !req
867. have now shot forward again.Copy !req
868. My tonsils are now
in front of my front teeth.Copy !req
869. Part of this phenomenal
stopping power is down
to the new ceramic brakesCopy !req
870. which glow when
you use them,Copy !req
871. and catch fire
when you use them a lot.Copy !req
872. And part is down
to the air brake, great!Copy !req
873. But there is a downside.Copy !req
874. The problem is
that there's almost no feel.Copy !req
875. Braking in this car
is like mountaineering
in a pair of Wellingtons.Copy !req
876. They are very odd.Copy !req
877. But there's something
that's even more weird.Copy !req
878. Why, if they've gone
to all the trouble of making
this car so light,Copy !req
879. have they filled the innards
up with a big, heavy
automatic gearbox,Copy !req
880. an air conditioning,
and cruise control
and leather...Copy !req
881. Look at all this stuff!
It's all lifted straight
off the SL.Copy !req
882. Surely that's like making
an exquisite souffleCopy !req
883. and then garnishing it
with a slab of lard.Copy !req
884. So, what is this car,
a luxury Mercedes
or a McLaren racer?Copy !req
885. Well, let's get it
on our circuit,Copy !req
886. see what's what.Copy !req
887. It doesn't take long
to realise that this is
a fantastic car.Copy !req
888. It's a grippy, agile,
adrenaline rush.Copy !req
889. I can't help thinking
that it's actually betterCopy !req
890. than McLaren's
current race car.Copy !req
891. There's actually so much gripCopy !req
892. that both my lungs
are now on this side
of my body.Copy !req
893. And my tonsils,
which were here,
are now in my ear.Copy !req
894. But even though
it's seriously aggressive,Copy !req
895. it's as civilised
as Switzerland,Copy !req
896. and no harder to handle
than a vacuum cleaner.Copy !req
897. I actually prefer it
to the old F1 supercar.Copy !req
898. It's less daft,
less expensive,
less terrifying,Copy !req
899. and the performance
is more accessibleCopy !req
900. because it's more controllable
for more of the time.Copy !req
901. Let me put it this way.Copy !req
902. This is a supercar.Copy !req
903. A bowl of prawns
and avocado and cress,Copy !req
904. delicious and tasty,
but a bit hard to handle.Copy !req
905. Now, what Mercedes have doneCopy !req
906. is taken those same
supercar ingredientsCopy !req
907. but wrapped them up
in two pieces of bread.Copy !req
908. See what I mean?Copy !req
909. In essence then,
this is a prawn
and avocado sandwich.Copy !req
910. Supercar innards
with supermarket convenience.Copy !req
911. It's brilliant
and I'm not at all surprisedCopy !req
912. it costs three times more
than a SL55.Copy !req
913. What does surprise me is that
it only costs half as much
as the old FI did.Copy !req
914. - What?
- You're here.Copy !req
915. - Yes. I am.
- It's you. Your name is?Copy !req
916. - Richard Hammond.
- And this is a...Copy !req
917. It's a McLaren SLR.Copy !req
918. - And you drove it in?
- In South Africa,Copy !req
919. and I still think the brakes
are, to be honest, rubbish.Copy !req
920. But there is a more important
question to answer,
and that is how is this car,Copy !req
921. with its air conditioning
and its cruise control
and its automatic gear box,Copy !req
922. gonna fare when we give it
to The Stig?Copy !req
923. Exactly, I mean, if you look
at our power lap board here,Copy !req
924. the four, top five,
six top carsCopy !req
925. are all mid-engine,
kind of purpose-built
snouty supercars.Copy !req
926. This has got a big boot
and, as you say, an automatic.Copy !req
927. So, how is it gonna get on?Copy !req
928. Away he goes.Copy !req
929. Not much fuss there,
lots of traction,
almost no drama at all.Copy !req
930. Yes, it's this week's
power ballad.Copy !req
931. And here we go into
the first corner,Copy !req
932. Stig keeping it
perfectly balanced,Copy !req
933. right on the edge there,
down to Chicago.Copy !req
934. Coming in very fast,
hard on the brakes,Copy !req
935. very hard, turning in,
keeping it really tight
to the line.Copy !req
936. That is pretty much perfect.Copy !req
937. Right, Hammerhead now.Copy !req
938. Here we are. Ooh...Copy !req
939. A front-engine car
will understeer.Copy !req
940. Not a hint of it.
And listen to that!Copy !req
941. And a bit of oversteer there
on the way out.Copy !req
942. Glorious!Copy !req
943. We're coming
to the Follow Through,
very powerful car,Copy !req
944. surely he's going to lift.Copy !req
945. Is he gonna lift?Copy !req
946. Threw his air brakes up.
He's actually braking,
that's how fast he's going.Copy !req
947. I think that's
a first through there.
But will it hurt the time?Copy !req
948. That's what we're gonna know.
Two bends to go.Copy !req
949. That is very smooth.Copy !req
950. The car's doing the hard work.Copy !req
951. Last corner. A little bit
of showboating there, Stig.Copy !req
952. And across the line!Copy !req
953. Now, these are the times
he's got to beat.Copy !req
954. 1:23.7 for the Lambo,Copy !req
955. 1:23.8 for the Zonda,Copy !req
956. 1:23.9 for the Koenigsegg.Copy !req
957. And it's got to beat
the GT3 as well.Copy !req
958. Yes, it has.Copy !req
959. It will beat that!Copy !req
960. In fact, it has beaten that.Copy !req
961. It has done it in one minute,Copy !req
962. 20 seconds point nine.Copy !req
963. It hasn't just beaten them...Copy !req
964. That is the fastest lap ever
round our track.Copy !req
965. Apart from the 911.
I mean, this is rare.Copy !req
966. The 911 GT... Clearly a 911
obviously would...
Is a faster car.Copy !req
967. Come on! It's...Copy !req
968. You think a GT3
would beat that?Copy !req
969. Well, that's a focused car.Copy !req
970. This has got tons of stuff
on it you don't need.Copy !req
971. On that bombshell,
ladies and gentlemen,Copy !req
972. we have to bid you good night.Copy !req
973. See you next week.Copy !req
974. The show's over.Copy !req
975. - Richard.
- I'm just making a point.Copy !req
976. The 911 cannot...
That's the fastest lap ever.Copy !req
977. Yes, but the 91I
could beat it.Copy !req
978. It just hasn't on there.Copy !req