1. Tonight, I try a classic
Jaguar on our track.Copy !req
2. Hammond has a blast
in Mazda's new MX5.Copy !req
3. And James says,
"Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow."Copy !req
4. Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!Copy !req
5. Thank you, everybody,
thank you so much, thank you!Copy !req
6. Hello, good evening.Copy !req
7. Thanks, everyone.Copy !req
8. Now, a couple of years ago Jaguar
gave us the F-Type convertibleCopy !req
9. and now there's the F-Type coupe.Copy !req
10. You can have it with
a choice of two V6 enginesCopy !req
11. or, for £85,000,
a thumping great V8.Copy !req
12. So guess which one
I've been driving?Copy !req
13. Beautiful, isn't it?Copy !req
14. Beautiful enough to cause dribbling.Copy !req
15. And aggressive as well.Copy !req
16. Snarly.Copy !req
17. Angry.Copy !req
18. And unlike the soft-top F-Type,Copy !req
19. it comes with a boot, into
which you can put many things.Copy !req
20. All you could get in the boot
of a convertible is a peaked cap.Copy !req
21. But in here, there's room for
every conceivable type of hat,Copy !req
22. all at the same time.Copy !req
23. A boater, a fez,
a pith helmet, a trilby,Copy !req
24. one of James's special hats.Copy !req
25. And there's still room leftover
for a busby.Copy !req
26. There you go.Copy !req
27. And the good news keeps on coming.Copy !req
28. Because Jaguar has fiddled around
with the supercharged V8Copy !req
29. so it now produces 542 horsepower.Copy !req
30. That is 54 more than you
get in the convertible,Copy !req
31. which means this has a top speed
of a million.Copy !req
32. It is outrageously fast.Copy !req
33. I mean, that is 160mph.Copy !req
34. And I've got 17 hats in the boot.Copy !req
35. But even more impressive than the
speed is the way this car is made.Copy !req
36. They haven't simply bolted on
a roof - the whole side is new.Copy !req
37. And this is it.Copy !req
38. It's one piece of aluminium
and it only weighs...Copy !req
39. three and a bit kilograms.Copy !req
40. And because it's one piece,
there's more strength,Copy !req
41. more safety and less flex.Copy !req
42. And less flex means better handling.Copy !req
43. I thought the convertible was good,
but this...Copy !req
44. this is even better.Copy !req
45. It's actually got tougher springs
than the convertibleCopy !req
46. which doesn't do much
for the ride but...Copy !req
47. God, it makes it fun
to drive out here.Copy !req
48. It is like driving
around in some poetry.Copy !req
49. Ted Hughes poetry,
but poetry nevertheless.Copy !req
50. This actually has an electronic
differential, which can overheatCopy !req
51. if you go too mad. But...Copy !req
52. providing you stay
within the parametersCopy !req
53. of reasonable common sense,
it's fabulous.Copy !req
54. I just don't know of
another car quite like this.Copy !req
55. And that's half throttle.Copy !req
56. Yes, you're good!Copy !req
57. So it's pretty and violent and fastCopy !req
58. and more practical
than you might imagine.Copy !req
59. Inevitably, however,
there are a few niggles.Copy !req
60. Number one, at oblique junctions
it's really hard to seeCopy !req
61. if anything is coming.Copy !req
62. So pull up here at the edge
of our runway and look.Copy !req
63. The only way I can pull out safely
is by crossing my fingersCopy !req
64. and hoping for the best.Copy !req
65. Ah!Copy !req
66. Stupid idiot!Copy !req
67. There are other issues too.Copy !req
68. If you push the seat
all the way back,Copy !req
69. and if you're tall, you'll want to,Copy !req
70. the leather squeaks on
the bulkhead - can you hear that?Copy !req
71. Really irritating.Copy !req
72. And then there's the control system,
which is touch screen.Copy !req
73. Now that sounds fineCopy !req
74. but it's so bumpy in here,
at low speeds particularly,Copy !req
75. that it's very difficult
to get your fingerCopy !req
76. to go in the right place.Copy !req
77. If you're not very careful when you
try to change the radio station,Copy !req
78. you can end up altering the colour
of the interior lightingCopy !req
79. or engaging Mad Mode
on the dynamic driving system.Copy !req
80. Aah! I wanted Classic FM!Copy !req
81. But the biggest problem with this
car is that it never stops shouting.Copy !req
82. You can push this button here
to quieten the exhaust systemCopy !req
83. but every time you go
near the throttle,Copy !req
84. it all bursts back into life again.Copy !req
85. This car's a little bit like a child
that can play the violin.Copy !req
86. For five minutes, it's fine.Copy !req
87. But after a month, you might start
to suggest that if it doesn't stop,Copy !req
88. you will shove the sound box
right up its...Copy !req
89. Peace and quiet?Copy !req
90. That's not something
this car can ever do.Copy !req
91. Happily, however, there's another
new Jaguar which is a bit less...Copy !req
92. louty.Copy !req
93. A few years ago, we tested this,
the Eagle Speedster.Copy !req
94. And now the company that created it
has come up with something else.Copy !req
95. It's called the Low Drag GTCopy !req
96. and it's are-creation of a one-off
racing E-Type prototypeCopy !req
97. that Jaguar made in 1960.Copy !req
98. Except re-creation
is the wrong word,Copy !req
99. because what Eagle has actually done
is taken the basic designCopy !req
100. and the spirit of the original
and then brought them up to date.Copy !req
101. Think of it, then, as a
Georgian house with Wi-Fi.Copy !req
102. And perhaps one of those
Georgian Clooney coffee machines.Copy !req
103. Let's start with the engine.Copy !req
104. Like the original,
it's a twin cam straight six.Copy !req
105. But unlike the original, it has fuel
injection rather than carburettors.Copy !req
106. So it works.Copy !req
107. It's made from aluminium rather
than cast iron, so it's light.Copy !req
108. It also has cooling
so it doesn't overheat.Copy !req
109. And it's bigger than the original...Copy !req
110. .. which means it's more powerful.Copy !req
111. The original car had 3.8 litres
and produced 265 horsepower.Copy !req
112. This has 4.7 litresCopy !req
113. and produces 345 horsepower!Copy !req
114. So it's faster...Copy !req
115. MUCH faster!Copy !req
116. To give you an idea of what
a rocket ship this car is,Copy !req
117. I'm going to have a drag raceCopy !req
118. with Toyota's idea of
a modern-day sports car.Copy !req
119. The GT-86.Copy !req
120. Right, so a child of the
'60s versus the 21st century.Copy !req
121. Three, two, one, go!Copy !req
122. It's a smoking start.Copy !req
123. And we are away.Copy !req
124. That's incredible.Copy !req
125. Janis Joplin is punching
Justin Bieber in the face.Copy !req
126. And there's the finishing line.Copy !req
127. Yeah, it's an easy victory.Copy !req
128. I've always said things
were better in my day,Copy !req
129. apart from the rickets.Copy !req
130. And the diphtheria.
And this proves it.Copy !req
131. It's even pretty good
in the corners.Copy !req
132. I'm not going to say this feels
modern because it doesn't.Copy !req
133. The F-Type would
run rings around it.Copy !req
134. But crucially...Copy !req
135. ..it doesn't feel as old as me,Copy !req
136. which is what it is.Copy !req
137. But it's not the handling
or the powerCopy !req
138. or the 170-mile-an-hour top speed
that impresses most.Copy !req
139. It's the attention to detail.Copy !req
140. I mean, because this car
has a five-speed gearboxCopy !req
141. rather than the four-speeder
you got in the original,Copy !req
142. Eagle has even made a special
gear knob to reflect thatCopy !req
143. with a five on it.Copy !req
144. I'd have just used Tipp-Ex.Copy !req
145. And look at these sun visors.Copy !req
146. They're fabulous and somebody had
to make them and the bracketCopy !req
147. and the bolts that hold it together
and the hinge.Copy !req
148. That's, that's just...Copy !req
149. It's all just too incredible
for words.Copy !req
150. And there's more.Copy !req
151. The wheels - they look like
they're made out of steelCopy !req
152. and they came from a
motorist discount store,Copy !req
153. but actually they were specially
made by hand out of magnesium.Copy !req
154. And because the body is
Eagle's own design,Copy !req
155. this windscreen had
to be specially made.Copy !req
156. Now that meant going to a glassmakerCopy !req
157. and saying can you make
ONE windscreen?Copy !req
158. One!Copy !req
159. It cost £15,000.Copy !req
160. And the back window?Copy !req
161. That was £15,000 as well.Copy !req
162. As a result of all this,Copy !req
163. the Low Drag GT is quite a lot more
expensive than the F-TypeCopy !req
164. and it's less nimble
and it's more slow.Copy !req
165. But I know which I'd rather have.Copy !req
166. Thing is, though...Copy !req
167. The tragedy is that
the only people who knowCopy !req
168. how to make a windscreen like this,Copy !req
169. a one-off, are all
now in their 70s and 80sCopy !req
170. and when they retire, they will
take their skills with them.Copy !req
171. Which means that in
the very near futureCopy !req
172. it just won't be possible
to make a car like this.Copy !req
173. No, I know and that'll be
a real shame, it really will.Copy !req
174. One thing I've been trying
to work out,Copy !req
175. cos you didn't actually say
it in the film,Copy !req
176. if that windscreen cost £15,000,Copy !req
177. how much is it for the whole car?Copy !req
178. A lot.Copy !req
179. How much a lot?Copy !req
180. £840,000.Copy !req
181. Ooh, that is a lot.Copy !req
182. No, but that does include VAT,
I should be clear on that. Yeah.Copy !req
183. Nevertheless, you'll have to agree
the F-Type does representCopy !req
184. better value for money.Copy !req
185. It does - especially the V6,
which is the one I'd buy.Copy !req
186. Because the V8, I mean
as I said in the film,Copy !req
187. it just never shuts up -
it would drive you mad.Copy !req
188. Yeah, it would,
something never shuts up,Copy !req
189. shouting constantly all day long.Copy !req
190. Rah, rah! With opinions and noise.Copy !req
191. Well, I'm just saying,
I mean it'll drive you mad.Copy !req
192. I can be quiet.Copy !req
193. Yeah, but only when you're asleepCopy !req
194. and thankfully
I'm not there for that so...Copy !req
195. Listen, I have just decided that I
don't want to talk to you any more.Copy !req
196. But what I do want to do
is find out how fast that F-TypeCopy !req
197. goes round our track.Copy !req
198. And that of course means handing
it over to our tame racing driver.Copy !req
199. Some say that he wishes there
was someone he could talk toCopy !req
200. about his mis-sold PPI.Copy !req
201. And that he spent all week making
a stairlift for Madonna.Copy !req
202. All we know is he's called The Stig!Copy !req
203. And he's off, an un-smoky start,
which is a surprise,Copy !req
204. but very shouty, which isn't.Copy !req
205. Up to the first corner, lots
of squealing from the Pirelli tyresCopy !req
206. but he's keeping it all
in check nicely.Copy !req
207. That is neat.Copy !req
208. An appropriate slice
of The Carpenters thereCopy !req
209. on this crisp, dry day.Copy !req
210. Very together through Chicago.Copy !req
211. Let's see if there are any
tail-happy anticsCopy !req
212. round the Hammerhead.Copy !req
213. Into the second part...
No, nothing so far.Copy !req
214. No, that is incredibly neat again.Copy !req
215. Now a chance to unleash noisy,
supercharged fury,Copy !req
216. through the Follow Through,
he's right on the edge there,Copy !req
217. that won't raise the pulse
of either of The Stig's hearts.Copy !req
218. Hard on the optional
carbon ceramic brakesCopy !req
219. for the second-to-last corner,
through GambonCopy !req
220. and across the line!Copy !req
221. Right, then.Copy !req
222. What did it do?Copy !req
223. 1.21.6 - which is as fast
as a Audi R8 V10Copy !req
224. and a Cayman GTS and...
What are you doing?Copy !req
225. I'm being quiet.
What?I'm being quiet.Copy !req
226. This is... I'm letting you know what
it's like to sleep with me.Copy !req
227. Oh!Copy !req
228. Oh...Copy !req
229. And now the news.Copy !req
230. And a couple of weeks ago,
we reported that Ferrari wereCopy !req
231. warming to the idea of a test
to see which is the fastest -Copy !req
232. the Ferrari "The Ferrari",
the McLaren P1 or the Porsche 918.Copy !req
233. And the good news is...Copy !req
234. Ferrari have warmed.Copy !req
235. They have indeed.
There are a few stipulations -Copy !req
236. they've said that the test
must happen on neutral ground,Copy !req
237. which is fine,
it's what McLaren wanted as well.Copy !req
238. They've also said it must be
a factory prepared carCopy !req
239. which was a sticking point
with McLaren,Copy !req
240. but McLaren are now saying,
"That's OK, that's fine."Copy !req
241. And that means, ladies
and gentlemen, this...Copy !req
242. I think the most important test
this century is now going to happen.Copy !req
243. Oh, that is good.
I'm telling you honestly,Copy !req
244. we should go and sort out Ukraine,Copy !req
245. cos after this,
it'd be walk in the park.Copy !req
246. So when are we going to do it?Copy !req
247. What, sort out Ukraine?
No. The race.Copy !req
248. Oh, the race, well, as soon
as Porsche can find us a car.Copy !req
249. Find us a car?Mm.Copy !req
250. Well, they made 918.Copy !req
251. I know, they've obviously lost them.
Have they? Yes, they're now saying,Copy !req
252. "We haven't actually
got one at the moment,Copy !req
253. "but as soon as we do have one,
we'll let you have it."Copy !req
254. Then we can go ahead and see which
of those three incredible carsCopy !req
255. is the fastest. I cannot wait,
I really cannot wait.Copy !req
256. That's excellent,
looking forward to that.Copy !req
257. So that is good news.
Er, now, not such good news.Copy !req
258. You may have heard in the news
last week that Top GearCopy !req
259. was attacked by Labour's transport
spokesman, a Mr Dugher.Copy !req
260. He says that Top Gear
is not representativeCopy !req
261. of the motoring public in Britain.
No!I know!Copy !req
262. We're not representative?I know
cos only this series, we have,Copy !req
263. if you think about it, we've raced
a hovercraft across St Petersburg.Copy !req
264. How representative is that? Very.Copy !req
265. We've turned a Porsche
into an ambulance,Copy !req
266. we've driven a Bentley up the side
of an iron-ore mine... Exactly.Copy !req
267. ..in Australia. Exactly.
Did he not enjoy these features?Copy !req
268. Difficult to say because he says
he doesn't watch Top Gear.Copy !req
269. Well, hang on, how does he know
if we're representative or notCopy !req
270. if he doesn't watch it?Copy !req
271. It's a good question.
He may have special powers. OK.Copy !req
272. He could be a witch.Copy !req
273. The Tories aren't much better,
are they? Nice balancing work.Copy !req
274. Good work, thank you. Thank you.Copy !req
275. This is excellent -
BBC even playing field.Copy !req
276. The Tory transport bloke, he said
that he didn't support the ideaCopy !req
277. of an 80mph speed limit
on the motorwayCopy !req
278. because of the road casualties
on one road in his constituency.Mm.Copy !req
279. Which is the Derbyshire dales...
Yeah.Copy !req
280. Which doesn't have
any motorways in it.Copy !req
281. That's cos he's not a witch,Copy !req
282. he's an idiot. All right, OK.
That's the difference.Copy !req
283. The annoying thing is, though,
that actually if you look behindCopy !req
284. the anti-Top Gear prejudice,Copy !req
285. Dugher is actually talking
a deal of sense.Copy !req
286. Because he says that when they're
deciding on transport policy,Copy !req
287. every government, Labour and Tory,
they talk to anti-car lobby,Copy !req
288. the... You know the cyclists
and the ramblersCopy !req
289. and the bus drivers and so on
and so forth. Yeah, and he's right.Copy !req
290. He is right which is ridiculous.Copy !req
291. He also says that all the people
who make the decisionsCopy !req
292. are in central London
and have no idea what it's likeCopy !req
293. for people trying to get around in
the regions. And he's right on that.Copy !req
294. I know, and the tragedy is
we're telling him he's rightCopy !req
295. and he's not watching cos
he's tuned into the Midwife thingCopy !req
296. on the other side.
Almost certainly, yeah.Copy !req
297. Which, incidentally, is not
representative of midwifery.Copy !req
298. Have you watched it?No, never.Copy !req
299. I'm a witch as well.
I know these things.Copy !req
300. Ooh, now you may remember
a little while backCopy !req
301. we made some ambulances, OK?
And James turned upCopy !req
302. to make his ambulance out
of a Cosworth-powered hearse, yes?Copy !req
303. - Do you remember that?
- Yes.Copy !req
304. Somebody else, it turns out, is also
using a Cosworth-powered hearseCopy !req
305. as a hearse - got a picture.Copy !req
306. The same thing happened to you.
It's a design fault.Copy !req
307. I could have warned them.
Yes, exactly.Copy !req
308. I have news! What news?Copy !req
309. Vauxhall has a new car!No! Wow.Copy !req
310. Yes! And here it is...Copy !req
311. Wow!Copy !req
312. They have called it the Viva.Copy !req
313. Viva?They've brought
the name back, yeah, Viva.Copy !req
314. Does anybody remember
the original Viva?Oh, yeah.Copy !req
315. Anyone...? You're probably too
young. Let me remind you, OK?Copy !req
316. There's a picture of it here,
the original one. Oh, God.Copy !req
317. Look at it! Look at its
silly little wheels.Copy !req
318. A style-free car.It is ridiculous.Copy !req
319. Interesting, though -
if they were going to revive a nameCopy !req
320. from Vauxhall's heritage and all
that, why would they choose Viva?Copy !req
321. I know, cos they had some great
names. They had Cresta,Copy !req
322. they had Victor. Viceroy.Copy !req
323. They did a car called
the Prince Albert.Copy !req
324. No.Copy !req
325. No, it was the Prince Henry.
No, it's Prince Albert.Copy !req
326. No, Prince Albert, that's... It's
a ring they put through your chap.Copy !req
327. What, Vauxhall put it
through your...? No, no!Copy !req
328. People who for, I don't know why,Copy !req
329. but they do, it's a ring
they put through their chap.Copy !req
330. I thought it was a rod.Copy !req
331. Look, whatever it was,
it's not a Vauxhall.Copy !req
332. It wasn't a Vauxhall, they didn't...
Right, that's cleared that up,Copy !req
333. there was no Vauxhall Prince Albert.Copy !req
334. Oh, now it's the Geneva Motor Show
is currently on actually,Copy !req
335. which is an opportunity
for all the carmakersCopy !req
336. to demonstrate new concepts,Copy !req
337. all of which have ridiculously
large wheelsCopy !req
338. that will never see the
light of day in production.Copy !req
339. Got some of them here for you.Copy !req
340. We have the Infinity Q60.
Look at the wheels on that,Copy !req
341. that's never going
to happen in real life.No.Copy !req
342. Nissan Sway. Again, no.No.Copy !req
343. Look at the Audi Prologue.
God.No.Copy !req
344. The idea is we look at that, we go,
"Wow, that's fantastic."Copy !req
345. Then of course the accountants
step into the mixCopy !req
346. and the accountants say
you can't have 46" rims.Copy !req
347. And you end up with a car
that actually looks like this.Copy !req
348. Supercar news from Geneva -
a couple I want to talk about.Copy !req
349. There's this,
it's called the EXP10 Speed 6.Copy !req
350. Oh, so EXP won against Speed.Copy !req
351. Oh, it's like football results,
EXP - 10...Copy !req
352. Speed - 6.Yeah. Yeah.Copy !req
353. That's actually well spotted.
Two-seater sports coupe.Copy !req
354. And they say, and I'm quoting
now, that "It is..."Copy !req
355. Er, make sure I get
the quote right.Copy !req
356. ".. unmistakably a Bentley."Copy !req
357. But if you look at it from the side,Copy !req
358. I think you'll agree that is
unmistakably an Aston Martin.Copy !req
359. Er, it is.Yes. That's an
Aston Martin.Exactly. Yes, it is.Copy !req
360. Well, meanwhile, actually, the real
Aston Martin have come up with this,Copy !req
361. which is an 800 horsepower,
it's a track day carCopy !req
362. but they've called it the Vulcan.Copy !req
363. The Vulcan? The Vulcan.Copy !req
364. So it only takes off
from RAF WaddingtonCopy !req
365. and then it refuels in the Ascension
Islands and then carries on...Copy !req
366. Um... No, let's not go there.Copy !req
367. I don't think... Leave that.Copy !req
368. Have you seen this?Copy !req
369. It's a Fiat 500, it's a limited
edition thing they're doing.Copy !req
370. But what puzzles me is
they've chosen to put an imageCopy !req
371. of the original 500 on the side
of it, that's the original.Copy !req
372. That's just idiotic cos that's like
saying "Look how fat I've become!"Copy !req
373. Well, yeah. It's...Copy !req
374. You don't see Eamonn Holmes
sunbathing with a diagramCopy !req
375. on his belly of what he used to
look like as a teenager, do you?Copy !req
376. "Look at me! I used to be only
this thin and now I'm enormous."Copy !req
377. Which is what they've done.
I don't know what that's for.Copy !req
378. Oh, now, big news.Copy !req
379. There's a car called
the Suzuki Celery...Copy !req
380. Er, isn't it the Celeriac?
Whatever, you don't want one.Copy !req
381. We've got a picture of it here.
Now there's a British...Copy !req
382. I don't want one.
No, it's hideous.Copy !req
383. A British motoring magazine
were testing one of theseCopy !req
384. and it had total brake failure,Copy !req
385. so Suzuki sent them
another one to test,Copy !req
386. exactly the same thing happened.Copy !req
387. The pedal went to the floor
both times.Nasty. Very nasty.Copy !req
388. So Suzuki took it away
to work out what was wrong.Copy !req
389. And they discovered that
there's a safety system on that,Copy !req
390. so that in the event of a crash,
the brake pedal is pulled awayCopy !req
391. from your foot so it doesn't
bounce up and damage your shin.Copy !req
392. Oh, yeah. But, if you
were braking very hard,Copy !req
393. it would assume
you were going to crashCopy !req
394. and then pull the brake pedal
away from you.Copy !req
395. In that yawning instant, I mean
we've all been there at some point,Copy !req
396. when you think you're
going to have a crash... Mm.Copy !req
397. .. they take away the
only thing in the worldCopy !req
398. that actually is of any
consequence or importance...Copy !req
399. The only thing you understand.
Yes, exactly.Copy !req
400. Suzuki admit that was a mistake.Copy !req
401. Well, it was,
I mean it was a mistake.Copy !req
402. They do admit that was a mistake
and all credit to them,Copy !req
403. very quickly, in just ten days,Copy !req
404. they've got them all sorted out.Copy !req
405. They did a recall, effectively.Copy !req
406. And they've said... I love this,Copy !req
407. They've said,
"Sales won't be affected."Copy !req
408. What? Er, really?Copy !req
409. No, they say, "Most of our
target audience is more mature.Copy !req
410. "The public understand
that recalls happenCopy !req
411. "and they'll see through
the stories."Copy !req
412. Yeah, just to translate that,
what they're actually saying isCopy !req
413. most of our target audience
is old and daft and won't notice.Copy !req
414. Now, let's move on and it is time
now to talk about the Mazda MX5.Copy !req
415. When this, the original model,
came out 25 years ago,Copy !req
416. it immediately saved the
small roadster from extinctionCopy !req
417. and went on to become THE most
successful two-seater sports carCopy !req
418. of all time.Copy !req
419. But now there's a new MX5 and
I went to Humberside to drive it.Copy !req
420. Before I do that, though, time for a
quick refresher with the original.Copy !req
421. The reason this car was
so brilliant is that it's light,Copy !req
422. it's small and it's simple.Copy !req
423. Mazda were perfectly open aboutCopy !req
424. cribbing all the best bits
from '60s MGs and Lotus ElansCopy !req
425. and leaving out all the worst bits.Copy !req
426. The recipe wasn't complicated -
small engine at the front,Copy !req
427. rear wheel driveCopy !req
428. and a perfect 50/50
weight distribution.Copy !req
429. They were so obsessed
with that last point,Copy !req
430. they even moved
the battery to the boot.Copy !req
431. There isn't a lot on this car
but everything that isCopy !req
432. is done well. The gear change -
short snappy throws from gear to gearCopy !req
433. and a little click as it goes in.Copy !req
434. 25 years onCopy !req
435. and this is still in the top five
all-time great gear changes...Copy !req
436. if there is such a thing.Copy !req
437. God, these things were goodCopy !req
438. which means that the brand-new MX5
has got a lot to live up to,Copy !req
439. a helluva lot.Copy !req
440. Well, here it is.Copy !req
441. And on paper, the signs are good.Copy !req
442. It's still usefully small.Copy !req
443. It's still got an engine
at the front and drive to the rear.Copy !req
444. And since prices start
at around £19,000,Copy !req
445. it's still more affordable
than most sports cars.Copy !req
446. Another encouraging sign is that
they've resisted the temptationCopy !req
447. to give it a bigger engine.Copy !req
448. The biggest you can get is two litresCopy !req
449. and the one I'm in is a 1.5.Copy !req
450. That means nought to 60
in just under nine seconds,Copy !req
451. about the same as the original,Copy !req
452. and a top speed of 125,Copy !req
453. which is absolutely fine.Copy !req
454. An MX5 shouldn't be a snorting
monster of a thing,Copy !req
455. it's a car for driving
into the countrysideCopy !req
456. on a nice sunny day to
find a nice pub for lunch.Copy !req
457. And it's great!Copy !req
458. Squeezing every last drop out
of this little 1.5 litre engine.Copy !req
459. Use all the engine's got and...
Come on!Copy !req
460. Whip the pony a bit.Copy !req
461. Then there's the handling.Copy !req
462. The front suspension
is still double wishbones,Copy !req
463. the weight distribution
is still balanced perfectly,Copy !req
464. 50/50 front to rear.Copy !req
465. Immediately, you can just sense
everything is in the right place,Copy !req
466. the relationship between where it
all sits in the car is correct.Copy !req
467. This car isn't about wrestling
a monster through turnsCopy !req
468. and being relieved when you survive.Copy !req
469. I'm not trying to win a fight,Copy !req
470. it's human being
and machine working together.Copy !req
471. That - the way it changes
direction there, turn in...Copy !req
472. ..it feels so nimble.Copy !req
473. The reason the new MX5
is so nimble is becauseCopy !req
474. whilst most cars get fatter
with every new generation,Copy !req
475. this one is almost 100 kilos
lighter than the car it replaces.Copy !req
476. 100kg, that's...Copy !req
477. Well, it's nearly an entire
Jeremy Clarkson.Copy !req
478. That's a significant weight saving.Copy !req
479. Mazda has achieved this feat
by employing something calledCopy !req
480. the gram strategy.Copy !req
481. Now this is not to be confused with
the business plan from Scarface.Copy !req
482. What it means in Mazda-land is
shaving off a gram here and there.Copy !req
483. For instance, in any car there's bits
of the glass that you can't seeCopy !req
484. hidden inside the body,
hidden inside the doors.Copy !req
485. Glass is heavy.Copy !req
486. Glass is heavy.Copy !req
487. So Mazda have made holes
and taken out pieces of that glass.Copy !req
488. And if you just shave off a gram
here and there,Copy !req
489. those grams add up
to become kilograms.Copy !req
490. But despite the minimalism,Copy !req
491. you don't feel like
you're sitting in a prison cell.Copy !req
492. It's a nice place to be.
I've got, well, everything I need.Copy !req
493. Touch screen, sat nav,
it interfaces with my telephone,Copy !req
494. all of that stuff... It's a car.Copy !req
495. So far, then, all is well.Copy !req
496. But before I get too carried away,Copy !req
497. there are a couple of not-so-good
things about this new MX5.Copy !req
498. The first problem is not really
the car's fault at allCopy !req
499. but I should mention it.
It's the image of the MX5.Copy !req
500. Put it this way, if your business
is called A Cut Above,Copy !req
501. Fringe Benefits or Hair Apparent,Copy !req
502. this has long been
the choice of car for you.Copy !req
503. But if you run a magazine called
Belt-Fed Machine Gun Enthusiast,Copy !req
504. you'd probably want
to look elsewhere.Copy !req
505. The second problem is the looks.Copy !req
506. I can see what they've done -Copy !req
507. they've given a cute little car
a frown,Copy !req
508. it's the whole angry puppy thing -Copy !req
509. but I'm just not quite sure, yet.Copy !req
510. But, you know what?Copy !req
511. These are tiny ripples in what is
otherwise an ocean of brilliance.Copy !req
512. Oh, I love this thing -
it's brilliant.Copy !req
513. It's pure fun.Copy !req
514. It's made of fun.Copy !req
515. Listen to that!Copy !req
516. I know when I get back to the studio,
Jeremy's going to be standing thereCopy !req
517. pointing at an Alfa Romeo 4CCopy !req
518. saying, "This
is the lightweight car to have."Copy !req
519. But it's 50 grand!Copy !req
520. And they make a fuss about it
being light.Copy !req
521. This is just simple.Copy !req
522. I love this.
I'm just made up with this.Copy !req
523. See? There you are.Copy !req
524. I, I knew it.
I knew you'd do that.Copy !req
525. I said so in the film.Copy !req
526. But, look, the fact is
you could buy two MX5s -Copy !req
527. no, two and a half -
for the price of one Alfa.Copy !req
528. Yes, but the Alfa Romeo is lighter.Copy !req
529. How do you know?Copy !req
530. Every time we ask Alfa
how much it weighs,Copy !req
531. they send us a different number.Copy !req
532. They did, cos they're not troubled
with specific details like that.Copy !req
533. If you build a car that's
as much fun as thisCopy !req
534. with a carbon fibre tub chassis,Copy !req
535. you take it for a drive,
you don't weigh it.Copy !req
536. When Leonardo da Vinci
painted the Mona Lisa,Copy !req
537. he didn't say,
"I wonder how much that weighs..."Copy !req
538. The whole point of the Alfa,
we're told, is its lack of weight,Copy !req
539. that's why they tell us it feels
a bit flimsy and a bit brittleCopy !req
540. and it hasn't got power steering
because it's so light.Copy !req
541. But then they won't tell us
how light it actually is.Copy !req
542. Because they're too busy having fun.Copy !req
543. Mazda made that and then went,
"I wonder how many horsepowerCopy !req
544. "it produces? Let's put it on
a rolling road and weigh it."Copy !req
545. Why don't they just make
the figures up?Copy !req
546. That's what the Italians always do.Copy !req
547. They do!Copy !req
548. Right, once Alfa finally give us
the convertible version of this,Copy !req
549. let's get it together with the Mazda
and we'll sort out which is best.Copy !req
550. Good idea, but now we must put
a Star in our Reasonably Priced Car.Copy !req
551. Now, my guest tonight came
to fame as a boy,Copy !req
552. and then he was a sort of blue
monster, and then he was a zombie -Copy !req
553. all of which means I don't know
what he looks like in real life.Copy !req
554. So, ladies and gentlemen, somewhere
over there is Nicholas Hoult!Copy !req
555. You! It's you.Copy !req
556. It is you.Copy !req
557. How are you and your...?Copy !req
558. Very well, very well.Copy !req
559. That's actually you?
This is it.Copy !req
560. Your ears, your nose -
excellent have a seat.Copy !req
561. Yes, yes, yes. Thank you.Copy !req
562. No, cos you very rarely
see you as you.Copy !req
563. Yeah, I have a habit of wearing
a lot of make-up.Copy !req
564. In films, not in real life.
Generally.Copy !req
565. To remind you, this was you in About
A Boy, obviously, when you were...Copy !req
566. Aww! Yeah.Copy !req
567. Sweet is the word I'm looking for.
Thank you.Copy !req
568. And then you were blue.
Oh, yeah, yeah.Copy !req
569. Again, hard to recognise
you now from...Copy !req
570. Is this a good thing?
Does the anonymity...?Copy !req
571. Well, I did sneak around.Copy !req
572. I did get off on the streets
in that costume a little bit.Copy !req
573. Um, I ran across a golf course
at one point.Copy !req
574. I went hooning it.
Three people were playing,Copy !req
575. and I went running across
this golf course,Copy !req
576. and they turned and saw that comingCopy !req
577. and they were like,
"Oh, Lord, it's happening."Copy !req
578. And I pulled up and said,
"Remember to swing through the ball,Copy !req
579. "keep your eye on the back
of it at all times,"Copy !req
580. then I turned around
and ran off again.Copy !req
581. And you could see them
just so confused.Copy !req
582. Was that while you were actually
filming or is that somethingCopy !req
583. you keep at home for fun?Copy !req
584. Well, I've got the feet
from that at home. Have you?Copy !req
585. Yeah. Well, actually, no, I haven't,Copy !req
586. my mum kept them, cos she likes
to wear them as slippers.Copy !req
587. Now, you've been,
even from when you were a boy-boy,Copy !req
588. you've been a petrol head
since you were that age?Copy !req
589. I have, yeah.
I grew up watching this show.Copy !req
590. So, you were watching this as a...
When you were in About A Boy? Yeah.Copy !req
591. God, that makes me feel
about a thousand.Copy !req
592. Cos it's weird, I haven't changed...Copy !req
593. I mean, you've changed a lot,
but I'm exactly the same nowCopy !req
594. as I was when we first started.Copy !req
595. So you must have been
thrilled, then,Copy !req
596. if you were a car enthusiast
from a young age,Copy !req
597. to have been offered a part
in the new Mad Max movie, I presume,Copy !req
598. which is - as we know
from the early ones -Copy !req
599. a lot of cars. Yeah, yeah, yeah.Copy !req
600. That was supposed be an
Australian accent - rubbish.Copy !req
601. Yeah, cos I loved
the original films.Copy !req
602. And then, it's the weirdest thing,
you'd be there on set,Copy !req
603. and they'd have these armadas
of all these vehiclesCopy !req
604. that they'd specially made
for the shoot,Copy !req
605. all these V8s, V12s, all roaring.Copy !req
606. And you'd be sitting there in your
car, and flames of all these otherCopy !req
607. cars would go flying past you, guys
on bikes, and you just get chills.Copy !req
608. But the only problem with it is
you can't hear anythingCopy !req
609. cos the engines are all so loud.Copy !req
610. You'd sit there,
and then you'd see the cameraCopy !req
611. kind of come into your periphery,Copy !req
612. and then you'd hear
a bang on the roof,Copy !req
613. and that was maybe
someone saying their line.Copy !req
614. So you're just kind of guessing
when to act, essentially.Copy !req
615. Just hoping for the best,
not knowing exactly
where you were in the film.Copy !req
616. We've actually got a clip.Copy !req
617. Let's have a look
at the new Mad Max movie.Copy !req
618. My name is Max.Copy !req
619. Oh, what a day! What a lovely day!Copy !req
620. That does look like my kind of film,
I think all our kinds of films.Copy !req
621. We would... Yeah, I'll be
queuing up for that one.Copy !req
622. But the car has survived, the
Mad Max...? It's a Ford Falcon.Copy !req
623. That's still there. It gets adapted
a little bit in this one.Copy !req
624. This was amazing, like, the
attention to detail in all of these.Copy !req
625. My car, they had four versions
of it, because they had to flipCopy !req
626. and roll and do all sorts of stuff,
but each one had, like,Copy !req
627. my character's name, Nux,
engraved into the brake padCopy !req
628. and all these sorts of things.Copy !req
629. When you got in there
everything workedCopy !req
630. and had a reason to be there, they'd
had really thought about everything.Copy !req
631. So there's no CGI in this, then?
It really is roll a car over?Copy !req
632. Yeah, they were
really going for it, yeah.Copy !req
633. Well, I mean, that just sounds
like my idea of heaven.Copy !req
634. It was... Yeah, you think
it's your idea of heavenCopy !req
635. until they're crashing trucks
into the back of you.Copy !req
636. And you do the first take
and you're like,Copy !req
637. "Yeah, I'm fine, don't worry about
it, do it faster, go for it."Copy !req
638. And then the next time
you turn around mid-scene,Copy !req
639. you look over your shoulder and
there's this truck flying at you,Copy !req
640. and you're like, "Boof!", getting
thrown around inside, trying to act.Copy !req
641. You are quite accident prone
on films, are you not?Copy !req
642. Cos when you were on X-Men...
Cos you've got Fassbender on...?Copy !req
643. Yeah, Fassbender.Copy !req
644. Cos he told some amazing stories
of what you got...Copy !req
645. Racing golf buggies when he was...Copy !req
646. Oh, yeah, him and James crashed
a golf buggy and causedCopy !req
647. quite a lot of damage to themselves
and one of the cars on set.Copy !req
648. Yeah, he did mention that.Copy !req
649. You didn't get involved
in the golf buggy racing?Copy !req
650. Well, they took them away
after that.Copy !req
651. We'd do a little bit
of golf buggy racing.Copy !req
652. So then, our next one,
on the last filmCopy !req
653. me and James went and bought BB guns
and we'd shoot each other.Copy !req
654. So you'd be riding
to set in the morning,Copy !req
655. you'd put your goggles on,
load your clip,Copy !req
656. you'd get out of the car
and then, before you knew it,Copy !req
657. there were three people, like,
chasing you to your trailer.Copy !req
658. Shooting you?
Yeah, but then we had to stop thatCopy !req
659. cos people got shot in the face.Copy !req
660. And you'd bleed.Copy !req
661. I was going to say
it would leave an ugly mark.Copy !req
662. Yeah, it would welt or bleed,
so we got told we weren't allowedCopy !req
663. to do that any more, either, so...
Aw!Copy !req
664. Don't know what we're going
to do on the next one.Copy !req
665. Is that why you've now
taken up knitting?Copy !req
666. Yeah!Copy !req
667. Oh, the knitting, yeah.Copy !req
668. On Mad Max, there was
a lot of hanging around,Copy !req
669. so one of make-up artists
was knitting one dayCopy !req
670. and I was like, "That seems
like a good way to kill time."Copy !req
671. So, I'd sit there,
sit there knitting,Copy !req
672. and then getting really frustrated
with myself when I'd mess up,Copy !req
673. like, storming around the set
being like,Copy !req
674. "Argh! Can someone fix my...Copy !req
675. ".. knitting?"Copy !req
676. "Please."Copy !req
677. And then they'd fix it up,
I'd go, "Thank you,"Copy !req
678. and I'd go back off
to my corner and sit there.Copy !req
679. I started, like,
taking orders from other people.Copy !req
680. And then... Beast can knit.Copy !req
681. Two of the girls on Mad Max
asked for hats,Copy !req
682. and I was like, OK.Copy !req
683. I had one day off and I was like,
I've got to make these hats.Copy !req
684. So I knitted straight
for ten hours that dayCopy !req
685. without really stopping.Copy !req
686. And then I quit, I haven't knitted
since, cos I was like,Copy !req
687. this is too much,
it's not fun any more.Copy !req
688. Have you heard of Call Of Duty?
That's brilliant for killing time.Copy !req
689. I kill weeks with Call Of Duty.
Knitting? Well, there we are.Copy !req
690. Now, it's time to get
on to your cars,Copy !req
691. cos we've established you like
a car, and you've driven many.Copy !req
692. You've driven a Murcielago,
haven't you?Copy !req
693. Yeah, I got to drive one
in Singapore.Copy !req
694. I was shooting a film
in Singapore last year.Copy !req
695. That's a beast,
it was proper Lambo beast days.Copy !req
696. Yeah, it shifted.Copy !req
697. But your first car
wasn't any of those things.Copy !req
698. It was similar.Copy !req
699. It was a Fiat Grande Punto.Copy !req
700. Punto? In red, yeah.Copy !req
701. It's a mean car.Copy !req
702. 1.4 litres of mayhem.
It was good, I enjoyed it.Copy !req
703. 1.4? Yeah.Copy !req
704. Whoa, that's a beast.Copy !req
705. And then, presumably,
in a Fiat Punto,Copy !req
706. police interruptions
in your driving...?Copy !req
707. Yeah, yeah, one.Copy !req
708. I've never got a speeding ticket
on anything,Copy !req
709. not on my bike, nothing,
apart from in the Punto.Copy !req
710. And the max speed
on that thing is 103,Copy !req
711. and I think I was doing under that.
I'm pretty sure.Copy !req
712. And I suddenly saw the blue lights
and I was like, "Oh, no."Copy !req
713. Pulled over, and he was like,Copy !req
714. "I've been chasing you
for a while now,Copy !req
715. "and I had to do 120,
maybe 130 to catch up with you,Copy !req
716. "so you were definitely
doing faster than that."Copy !req
717. And I was like, "Well...Copy !req
718. "the logic is off."Copy !req
719. He said he was doing
120 to catch you upCopy !req
720. so you must have been doing
more than that?Copy !req
721. Yeah, and I was like,
"This doesn't make any sense.Copy !req
722. "Of course you were going faster
than me, you were chasing me."Copy !req
723. Did you say you had a bike?Copy !req
724. Yeah. Yeah, a Ducati 899.Copy !req
725. Not interested in bikes.
Anyone interested in bikes?Copy !req
726. Yeah.Copy !req
727. Oh, God! Um...Copy !req
728. Erm... do you ride it?Copy !req
729. Yeah, I ride it around, it's lovely.Copy !req
730. Um...Copy !req
731. Is it...? What colour is it?Copy !req
732. It's white.Copy !req
733. Yeah.Copy !req
734. Can we stop talking about bikes now?
I want to talk about his laps.Copy !req
735. Oh, no! No, no. You know last week
we had Gillian Anderson here?Copy !req
736. And she did set a new record
of 22 practiceCopy !req
737. or attempts at the fastest time.
Do you know how many you did?Copy !req
738. Uh, no, I wasn't...Copy !req
739. 24! Did I?Copy !req
740. No, but, you know,
I had lots going on, so...Copy !req
741. But it is... It's an awful thing
to say, I know,Copy !req
742. but it was a beautiful day today.Copy !req
743. Well, yeah, it looked beautiful -Copy !req
744. strong headwinds throughout
the whole lap, so...Copy !req
745. Not a breath of wind,
just a crisp, cool, sunny,Copy !req
746. beautiful, perfect day
for a car to go...Copy !req
747. Yeah, that's what everyone
kept on saying.Copy !req
748. And I was sitting there
in the car and I was sweating,Copy !req
749. and everyone's first thing out their
mouths was, "Perfect day for it."Copy !req
750. Yeah. And you're like, oh...Copy !req
751. Anyway, who would like
to see Nicholas's lap?Copy !req
752. Yes.Copy !req
753. Let us have a look.Copy !req
754. Loves it!Vigorous. Loves it!Copy !req
755. Race mode engaged.Copy !req
756. Idiot driving - perfect.Copy !req
757. Well, we shall see.Copy !req
758. Coming up to the first...Copy !req
759. Oh, crikey!Copy !req
760. Oh, God almighty, that is quick.Copy !req
761. It looks quick but I don't know
if it actually is.Copy !req
762. That does look quick through there.
It felt like I was going
as fast as I could.Copy !req
763. Up to third, hang it out,
turn it in.Copy !req
764. And, I have to say,
sometimes we sayCopy !req
765. if you go slowly it looks
quick but...Copy !req
766. I saw Ricciardo
bouncing up and down.Copy !req
767. I don't know
if that helps the speed.Copy !req
768. No, cos normally when a car
is apparently going slowlyCopy !req
769. it's sometimes quick,
but this looks faster than normal.Copy !req
770. And that's very nicely done.Copy !req
771. That was a gear change.Copy !req
772. Strong winds.Copy !req
773. Not visible on screen.Copy !req
774. Flat through there, obviously.Copy !req
775. Oh, that is right to the edge!Copy !req
776. And that's cutting it fine nicely.Copy !req
777. And now just two corners left.Copy !req
778. Coming in on a shallow angle,Copy !req
779. but no real problems with
the second to last, Gambon.Copy !req
780. A lot of understeer there,
but across the line!Copy !req
781. Ah-ha!Copy !req
782. What do you think, then?Copy !req
783. Where do you think
you've come on the board?Copy !req
784. Huh.Copy !req
785. I'd, I'd, I mean...Copy !req
786. Obviously, for X-Men bragging
rights, I'd like to be somewhereCopy !req
787. around Hugh Jackman,
but that's really high up.Copy !req
788. Where's Hugh?Copy !req
789. He's 1:46.1.Copy !req
790. I'd like to be in
the late 1:40s somewhere.Copy !req
791. Late 1:40s. Well, let's have a look.Copy !req
792. I don't know.Copy !req
793. Nicholas Hoult, you did it in 1...Copy !req
794. Oh.Copy !req
795. ..40...Copy !req
796. OK, that's all right.Copy !req
797. ..4...Copy !req
798. Ooh! Oh, that's good.Copy !req
799. Told you it looked quick.Copy !req
800. Ah!Copy !req
801. ..7.Copy !req
802. Oh!Copy !req
803. Tenth off, a tenth off.Copy !req
804. But there...Copy !req
805. Come on. Come on.Copy !req
806. That is a tenth...Copy !req
807. Olly Murs is like...Copy !req
808. But that is a very...Copy !req
809. I mean, it looked quick.Copy !req
810. It looked quick.Copy !req
811. It's really difficult to get a lap
where everything goes right.Copy !req
812. No, that is... That's a time
to be proud of, 1:44.7.Copy !req
813. Thank you so much for coming.
Thank you.Copy !req
814. Absolute pleasure to have you here.Copy !req
815. Ladies and gentlemen,
Nicholas Hoult!Copy !req
816. Now, a few series ago,
the three of usCopy !req
817. tried our hand at amateur
Rallycross,Copy !req
818. and we decided that,
pound for pound,Copy !req
819. it is the most exciting sport
in the world.Copy !req
820. And, because we enjoyed
the amateur event so much,Copy !req
821. the logical next step
was for one of usCopy !req
822. to take it to a professional level.Copy !req
823. Clearly, there was only one
steely-eyed helmsmanCopy !req
824. to take on this challenging job.Copy !req
825. Him.Copy !req
826. When we did our amateur
Rallycrossing,Copy !req
827. we raced here,
at Lidden Hill in Kent,Copy !req
828. and our cars were plucked
from the pages of the classifiedsCopy !req
829. for just a few quid.Copy !req
830. Well, the venue is the same.Copy !req
831. This is where the event
will be taking place tomorrow.Copy !req
832. The car, though...Copy !req
833. That's a bit of a step up.Copy !req
834. It starts out as a VW Polo,Copy !req
835. but then becomes this -Copy !req
836. a 2-litre turbo-charged TornadoCopy !req
837. with 600 horsepower
and more torque than a Ferrari 458.Copy !req
838. And, to keep the drivers
on their toes,Copy !req
839. helping hands such as
traction control, ABSCopy !req
840. and electronic differentials
are banned.Copy !req
841. Now, I know what you're thinking -Copy !req
842. you're thinking
that's not a racing car,Copy !req
843. it's merely a vehicle providing
Top Gear viewers with hilariousCopy !req
844. Captain Slow cock-ups.Copy !req
845. But no, I might actually
be OK at this.Copy !req
846. For starters, the circuits
are small and easy to learn.Copy !req
847. The cars do have four-wheel drive.Copy !req
848. And then there's
the calibre of the drivers.Copy !req
849. One of them is the son of the bloke
who owns this track,Copy !req
850. and another is just
a presenter on American Top Gear.Copy !req
851. And it's the Top Gear chap -
Tanner Foust -Copy !req
852. who has kindly offered
to train me for this event.Copy !req
853. Is it really 600 horsepower,
or is that bar talk?Copy !req
854. It's a full-on six.Copy !req
855. It's 300 horsepower per litre,Copy !req
856. 0-100 km in 1.9 seconds.Copy !req
857. It's quicker than a Formula One car
off the line.Copy !req
858. Wow. Then the other things about it,
you know,Copy !req
859. you've got all-wheel drive,
it's amazingly stable,Copy !req
860. you'll see a jump and it just
completely absorbs them,Copy !req
861. it's like marshmallow.Copy !req
862. It's mostly carbon fibre,
Kevlar underneath.Copy !req
863. There's a lot of contact.Copy !req
864. I think it's the only sport
in the FIACopy !req
865. where there's not a rule
saying you can't hit other cars.Copy !req
866. So you can hit other cars?
It happens, yeah.Copy !req
867. 'Tanner then pointed out the most
important thing on the dashboard.'Copy !req
868. This switch here, this is
the monster switch right here.Copy !req
869. This is the one that is the ALS,
for the anti-lag system.Copy !req
870. This is for the turbo chargers?
Yeah. Yes.Copy !req
871. Once you flip that switch,
all hell breaks loose.Copy !req
872. Now every time you lift off
the throttle, it's shooting flameCopy !req
873. through the turbo, keeping it
spinning over 200,000 rpm.Copy !req
874. Mmm.Copy !req
875. And it's a very violent thing,Copy !req
876. and that's really what
makes this car work.Copy !req
877. OK.
Once you cross the finish line,Copy !req
878. you flip that off
and then it's a normal car again.Copy !req
879. So that, remember that...Copy !req
880. It's really weird talking to someone
who is a Top Gear presenterCopy !req
881. but who is really helpful.Copy !req
882. Usually it's sarcasm
and stupidity... We're team mates.Copy !req
883. .. but you're being informative,
helpful, encouraging -Copy !req
884. it's quite nice.Copy !req
885. 'Tanner then offered to take me
for a demonstration run.'Copy !req
886. I did mean to tell you, actually,
I fell off a horse quite recently.Copy !req
887. OK.
And my bones are still a bit sore,Copy !req
888. so try not to, you know, snap me
in half or anything like that.Copy !req
889. OK.Copy !req
890. Hold the brakes,
then lets it all off...Copy !req
891. HolyBLEEP!Copy !req
892. Ow, ow, ow, ow!Copy !req
893. Aaaaaaaargh!Copy !req
894. Ow, ow, ow!Copy !req
895. '45 seconds later, my spin
in the Rallycross tumble dryerCopy !req
896. 'came to a merciful end.'Copy !req
897. 'And then it was my turn to drive.'Copy !req
898. Full throttle,
and release the clutch a little...Copy !req
899. Faster, faster, faster, faster.Copy !req
900. 'For the next few hours...'Copy !req
901. Brake and full throttle.Copy !req
902. '..my new friend
from American Top GearCopy !req
903. 'gave me some excellent tuition.'Copy !req
904. Second gear, second gear, brake.Copy !req
905. No, wrong way.Copy !req
906. Brake, brake, brake, brake, brake.Copy !req
907. That way, that way.
Brake, brake, brake, brake, brake.Copy !req
908. Sorry about that, by the way.Copy !req
909. Hey, no harm, no foul.Copy !req
910. 'He then took the time to explainCopy !req
911. 'the considerable complexities
of the racing.'Copy !req
912. So, there's 12 cars,
and then there's five heats.Copy !req
913. Right.
But there's four laps in each heat.Copy !req
914. You won't just drive once,
you go twice.Copy !req
915. Like, maybe two or three times.Copy !req
916. So, it's 50 points for the guy
in first, 45 and then 40.Copy !req
917. Then there's two semifinals...Copy !req
918. 'Tanner said that,
no matter how I did in the heat,Copy !req
919. 'I'd be in one of the semifinals.Copy !req
920. 'Then he explained the joker lap.'Copy !req
921. But in every one of these
you do the joker lap once,Copy !req
922. which is the long outside,Copy !req
923. outside of turn one,Copy !req
924. with a bit of a jump
on the way in there.Copy !req
925. OK, so I have to take the joker lap
once per race? Exactly.Copy !req
926. Here's the thing with the jokers -
at least three seconds slower.Copy !req
927. Ideally, you would take
the joker lap sometimeCopy !req
928. if you're behind somebody
and you need to get free track.Copy !req
929. And what if you forget?Copy !req
930. That's why the spotter is critical.Copy !req
931. What's a spotter?Copy !req
932. So, on top of this building
there'll be one spotter per carCopy !req
933. that'll be on the radio,
in your headset,Copy !req
934. and they'll be able to talk to you
while you're driving,Copy !req
935. when to take the joker,
who's behind you,Copy !req
936. what position you're in,Copy !req
937. give you information that you need
while you're on the track.Copy !req
938. It's quite a responsible job,
the spotter, then.Copy !req
939. Yeah, they have to pay attention.
Yeah.Copy !req
940. I think I've... Can you just go
through that again,Copy !req
941. to make sure I've got it?Copy !req
942. 12 cars total, we're all here
to race five times, four laps each,Copy !req
943. 30-second penalty if you take
the joker more than once...Copy !req
944. The next morning, as all the other
teams prepared for race day,Copy !req
945. I was in Tanner's garage getting
to know a bit more about my car.Copy !req
946. Look at the size of this.Copy !req
947. That's not a standard air filter,
obviously.Copy !req
948. None of that is standard,
this isn't standard... May?Copy !req
949. Morning. Morning.Copy !req
950. What are you doing here?Copy !req
951. Well, we're told you need spotters,
apparently - we are your spotter.Copy !req
952. No, no, no, no.Copy !req
953. No. Spotting is a genuinely
important job.Copy !req
954. You have to say who's in front
of you, who's behind you...Copy !req
955. Well, nobody's behind you,
obviously. FunnyCopy !req
956. When to do the joker lap -
do you know about the joker?Copy !req
957. Is there a jump? There's a jump.
And we tell you when to do that?Copy !req
958. Yeah, so when do I do it?
Now!I don't know.Copy !req
959. Which lap do I do the joker lap on?
I don't know. Well, exactly.Copy !req
960. How many laps are there?
Four.Copy !req
961. I mean, can I just...?Copy !req
962. I got out of bed this morning
at 5:15 to be here.Copy !req
963. He stayed in a Ramada Inn
last night with Lenny Henry.Copy !req
964. And this is how ungrateful he is.Copy !req
965. Seriously, I've done a minimal
amount of practice yesterday,Copy !req
966. and I don't want
two Muppets helping me.Copy !req
967. I'm sorry to be rude, but no.Copy !req
968. James, James!
Your door's not shut properly.Copy !req
969. Good spot, good spot, Hammond.
Yeah.Copy !req
970. Since I seemed to be stuck
with Pinky and Perky,Copy !req
971. we went to watch some of the other
drivers in the first race.Copy !req
972. They don't half start off
close together, don't they?Copy !req
973. You could crash by there!
Yeah.Copy !req
974. This'll be you.Copy !req
975. 'Yesterday with Tanner, I thought
maybe a podium was a possibility.Copy !req
976. 'But, now I was watching
the real racing...Copy !req
977. '..I decided to aim a bit lower.'Copy !req
978. I think maybe a better personal
ambition would beCopy !req
979. not to be lapped.Copy !req
980. Does that happen a lot in this?
I don't think it's ever happened.Copy !req
981. You can't be lapped in Rallycross,
it's only four laps.Copy !req
982. So, in four laps,
if they're doing a 50-second lap,Copy !req
983. if you're more than 12 seconds
a lap slower than them,Copy !req
984. you're in the Guinness Book
of Records as the first personCopy !req
985. EVER to be lapped in Rallycross.Copy !req
986. 'On that sobering thought,
James lined up for his first heat,Copy !req
987. 'which featured drivers of a higher
calibre than he'd been expecting.'Copy !req
988. Petter Solberg is an extremely good,Copy !req
989. former world champion
rally driver,Copy !req
990. and a world champion at this.
Yes.Copy !req
991. Timmy Hansen is 22.Copy !req
992. He was third in European
Rallycross last year.Copy !req
993. And James May. James May,
52-year-old piano player!Copy !req
994. Interested in lathes!Copy !req
995. 'As the drivers prepared
for the off...'Copy !req
996. '.. we were testing the comms.'Copy !req
997. If You're Looking
For A Way Out by OdysseyCopy !req
998. Put him in the mood.
Yeah. Yeah, I'd say that.Copy !req
999. Turn the radio down,
you're blowing my ears out.Copy !req
1000. Gosh, why did I agree to this?Copy !req
1001. I've got Petter Solberg next to me
and a load of drivel in my ears.Copy !req
1002. Oh, this is unbelievably exciting.
Is he going?Copy !req
1003. He's going, he's going! Oh, my God.
James, it's about to start.Copy !req
1004. They've started, they've started.Copy !req
1005. They've started, James!
They've started!Copy !req
1006. Quite muddy there, James,
it is quite muddy.Copy !req
1007. Shut up!Copy !req
1008. James? James, so that you know,
the car behind you is French.Copy !req
1009. That was good spotting there, Jeremy.
Shut up, you two!Copy !req
1010. 'Whilst James bumbled around
at the back,Copy !req
1011. 'the other four drivers were giving
us a sensational show.'Copy !req
1012. Oh, big accident!Copy !req
1013. But how can he still be going?Copy !req
1014. 'As the others entered
their fourth and final lap,Copy !req
1015. 'James was being caught.'Copy !req
1016. Gas! And brake!Copy !req
1017. Turn in.Copy !req
1018. Hang your arse out, James.
Hang your arse out.Copy !req
1019. Seagull, James,
I've spotted a seagull.Copy !req
1020. Shut up!Copy !req
1021. Inside line, inside line.Copy !req
1022. 'Amazingly, though,
he got away with it.'Copy !req
1023. Yes! You haven't been lapped.Copy !req
1024. Ha, ha! I wasn't lapped!Copy !req
1025. I'd like to see those
other two Muppets do that!Copy !req
1026. I hope we weren't
distracting to him.Copy !req
1027. No, I shouldn't think so, he knows
we're there, we're with him.Copy !req
1028. It was reassuring noises.It's like
racing in the car with him,Copy !req
1029. it's like we're all three in the car,
all with steering wheels.
Exactly.Copy !req
1030. 'As the winner of the heat,
Petter Solberg, celebrated,Copy !req
1031. 'we went to check on James's times.'Copy !req
1032. He was 32 seconds
off Petter Solberg's time. Yeah.Copy !req
1033. Eight seconds a lap slower.Copy !req
1034. Right. Should we give him a strong
team talk, or should we support him?Copy !req
1035. He just needs to learn
to drive faster...Copy !req
1036. Faster than the other people. Yeah.Copy !req
1037. Well, faster than himself
would help.Copy !req
1038. 'I was determined to do better
in the next heat.'Copy !req
1039. 'But my spotters were even more
useless than in the first one.'Copy !req
1040. What time have you got
to go tonight?Copy !req
1041. Uh, well, I just want
to beat the traffic.Copy !req
1042. Which bit of the M4 do you go down?Copy !req
1043. Uh, off, at junction 15.Copy !req
1044. That is near the M5, isn't it?Copy !req
1045. No, no, 17 is Chippenham.
It's Bristol.Copy !req
1046. Shut up, you two!Copy !req
1047. Now for the joker.Copy !req
1048. It's definitely 17, is Chippenham.Copy !req
1049. I can't believe you don't know,
you do that...Copy !req
1050. Yeah, but I don't go to 17, I go to
15, so that's Marlborough...Copy !req
1051. Shut up!Copy !req
1052. .. and... Argh!Copy !req
1053. 'No thanks to my colleagues,
I managed to finishCopy !req
1054. 'another four-lap heat
without being lapped.'Copy !req
1055. Ho-ho! Come on!Copy !req
1056. Fantastic.Copy !req
1057. 'But then it was time
for the semifinal,Copy !req
1058. 'and I realised
I had a bigger problem.'Copy !req
1059. The semifinal is six laps.
Oh-ho!Copy !req
1060. So it's half as long again.Copy !req
1061. And I've worked out, my good laps -
of which I've done maybe two -Copy !req
1062. were sort of four seconds
off the pace.Copy !req
1063. But quite a few of my
slightly cocked up onesCopy !req
1064. were sort of eight
to nine seconds off.Copy !req
1065. So, in a six-lap race...Copy !req
1066. Six-lap race... Yeah.Copy !req
1067. .. eight seconds,
that's 48 seconds,Copy !req
1068. and it's a 50...
it's a 50-second lap.Copy !req
1069. Oh, ho-ho! You're in danger!
It'll be very, very close.Copy !req
1070. This will be quite close.
This is the test.Copy !req
1071. 'With this terrifying maths
playing on my mind,Copy !req
1072. 'I took my place on the grid.'Copy !req
1073. Do us proud, James, do us proud.Copy !req
1074. Don't let us down.Copy !req
1075. Right, here we go,
semifinal, six laps.Copy !req
1076. So, if you'd like to place
your bets...Copy !req
1077. 'I decided to get my joker
out of the way on lap one...'Copy !req
1078. '.. which, obviously,
my eagle-eyed spotters noticed.'Copy !req
1079. James, you were 11 seconds slower
than the lead car on that lap.Copy !req
1080. But, wait, did he do the joker?Copy !req
1081. Oh, he might have done.Copy !req
1082. 'Up front, Tanner was
fighting for the lead,Copy !req
1083. 'and the racing was intense.'Copy !req
1084. 'Meanwhile, a bit further back,Copy !req
1085. 'I was managing to stay
out of danger.'Copy !req
1086. Right, down to second, keep
the power, keep the inside line!Copy !req
1087. That's not bad,
that's genuinely not bad.Copy !req
1088. 'When James still
had two laps to go,Copy !req
1089. 'we realised he was about
to be stabbed in the backCopy !req
1090. 'by his new best friend.'Copy !req
1091. That is Tanner.
Is that Tanner on his tail?Copy !req
1092. James, it's actually
Tanner behind you.Copy !req
1093. I've got to hold him off!Copy !req
1094. James, do not let American Top Gear
lap British Top Gear.Copy !req
1095. I'm getting that wrong!Copy !req
1096. Come on!Copy !req
1097. Well, he's right up
behind you, James!Copy !req
1098. Make your car wide!Copy !req
1099. Make it as wide
as I don't know what.Copy !req
1100. He's right there. Argh!Copy !req
1101. Aargh!Copy !req
1102. On the inside, stay on the inside,
go on the inside!Copy !req
1103. Inside!Copy !req
1104. Oh! Oh, James he's going to...!Copy !req
1105. Aargh! Aargh!Copy !req
1106. Rubbish.Copy !req
1107. Let's gloat at him there.
Studio, yeah.Copy !req
1108. Studio. Back to the studio.
Back to the studio,Copy !req
1109. we'll gloat at him there.
Yeah.Copy !req
1110. Cos I want to get home, frankly,
I don't want to be around...Copy !req
1111. So, he'll go here, first person
ever to be lapped in Rallycross.Copy !req
1112. Nice, though - name in print.
Yeah, exactly.Copy !req
1113. Anyway, we have to say,
even with him in it,Copy !req
1114. Rallycross is brilliant.Copy !req
1115. It is fabulous to watch
because, basically,Copy !req
1116. from the start line
to the finish line,Copy !req
1117. all the drivers
drive as fast as they can.Copy !req
1118. Yes, that's it.
There's no conserving their tyres,Copy !req
1119. there's no looking
after the fuel consumption,Copy !req
1120. there are no stewards
with moustaches going,Copy !req
1121. "Oh, no, you've bumped into him,Copy !req
1122. "you've got to spend ten
seconds on the naughty step."Copy !req
1123. I tell you what Formula One is -Copy !req
1124. Formula One is like
having some moneyCopy !req
1125. and putting in an ISA so that
it matures in a tax-free way.Copy !req
1126. Rallycross is like having some money
and going to the pub with it.Copy !req
1127. Yeah, just blow it on one big
night out, all at once. Exactly.Copy !req
1128. Can I just say...?Copy !req
1129. No, you'll make yourself
look more ridiculous.Copy !req
1130. You will, he's right.Copy !req
1131. And, on that bombshell,
it is time to end.Copy !req
1132. Thank you so much for watching -
good night!Copy !req