Tom Goes to the Mayor 2x5

Directed by

Gary Busey as Coach Red Harris (voice) • Mark Womack as Brandon (voice) • Bob Odenkirk as Flaxamax Spokesman (voice)

The Mayor appoints Tom to coach the Jefferton boys wrestling team.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. >> >> HI, I'M THE MAYOR.

2. MY DOOR IS ALWAYS OPEN FOR YOU!

3. >> ♪ JEFFERTON ALIVE >> MY NAME IS TOM PETERS,

4. AND I'M FULL OF IDEAS!

5. >> COMMUNITY SPIRIT!

6. >> HOW ARE YOU?

7. >> HA HA!

8. >> SHOPPING!

9. FOOD!

10. >> ♪ FREE TO BE BEING FREE

11. JEFFERTON ALIVE ♪ [CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY

12. TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP] >>

13. STOP YOUR WHINING AND GET THE BOY ON THE GROUND!

14. USE YOUR CALVES, RANDALL.

15. YOU'RE LEGS.

16. PUSH LIKE YOU'RE HAVING A BABY.

17. USE YOUR TORSO!

18. COME ON!

19. DAMN IT, I'VE BEEN COACHING THIS

20. SQUAD FOR 25 YEARS, AND I'VE NEVER SEEN A MORE

21. PATHETIC DISPLAY OF FEMALE COWARDICE AND WOMANLY STUPIDITY!

22. YOU'RE MAKING ME— WHERE THE HELL IS MY EQUIPMENT

23. BOY?

24. >> OH, THAT STAIN'S BEING A TRICKY

25. LITTLE BUGGER HERE.

26. WHAT THE SHIRT IS THIS STUFF?

27. FLAXAMAX?

28. >> FLAXAMAX!

29. X3 POWERFUL!

30. >> NON-APPROVED BODY MASS GROWTH STIMULANT.

31. FOR USE IN RACEHORSES.

32. HUH.

33. THAT DOESN'T SOUND RIGHT FOR CHILDREN.

34. BETTER BRING THIS TO COACH HARRIS' ATTENTION.

35. >> DAMN IT, BRANDON, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?

36. HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT ABOUT GOING HOME AND PRANCING AROUND

37. IN YOUR MAMA'S SUNDAY DRESS, OR WEARING HER PANTIES,

38. OR PUTTING ON ONE OF THE COTTON PONIES?

39. YOU'RE A SISSY BITCH, BRANDON— JUST LIKE YOUR FATHER.

40. >> UH, EXCUSE ME, COACH?

41. >> I'VE SEEN YOUR FATHER.

42. I'VE SEEN STAINS IN HIS PANTS HE CAN'T EXPLAIN.

43. THERE'S SOMETHING I LIKE ABOUT YOU, BUT IT'S NOT BEING A GIRL

44. IN A BOY'S BODY.

45. IT'S BEING A WRESTLER!

46. >> >> OH, BRANDON, DON'T CRY.

47. COACH HARRIS IS JUST TRYING TO GIVE YOU A LITTLE BIT OF TOUGH

48. LOVE HERE.

49. HA HA.

50. SORRY ABOUT THAT, COACH.

51. A WORD TO THE WISE, WE DO TRY TO STEER CLEAR OF SOME OF THAT

52. NEGATIVE ENERGY AROUND OUR HOUSE.

53. >> HOW DARE YOU OPEN YOUR MOUTH AROUND ME, YOU PIECE OF TRASH,

54. YOU WORTHLESS EXCUSE FOR A MOTHEREQUIPMENT BOY.

55. DON'T YOU EVER TELL ME HOW TO COACH THESE BOYS

56. OR I'LL CUT OFF YOUR HEAD AND IN YOUR NECK WHISTLE.

57. >> OH, MY APOLOGIES.

58. I WAS OUT OF LINE THERE.

59. I'M SORRY.

60. >> I WILL TAKE YOUR TINY BOY BODY AND BREAK EVERY ONE OF YOUR

61. BONES!

62. EVERY ONE— AAGH!

63. EEK!

64. >> >> UH, COACH?

65. ARE YOU WITH US?

66. COACH?

67. UH, KNOCK, KNOCK?

68. HELLO?

69. >> OH, HELLO, MILADY.

70. >> EXCUSE ME?

71. >> GOOD MORNING, CHIP CHIP.

72. >> NO, NO, IT'S— IT'S TOM PETERS HERE.

73. I'M...

74. ACTUALLY A MAN.

75. NOT A WOMAN.

76. >> OH.

77. I SEE.

78. >> YEAH, I DIDN'T REALLY HAVE TIME TO CHANGE OUT OF MY

79. WRESTLING SCRUBS.

80. ANYWAYS, I SORT OF HAVE AN EMERGENCY ON MY HANDS HERE.

81. I WAS CLEANING OUT THE BOY'S LOCKER ROOM, AND I FOUND THIS

82. TUB OF FLAXAMAX.

83. >> FLAXAMAX.

84. TOTALLY X!

85. >> UH, I THINK IT'S SOME KIND OF ILLEGAL MUSCLE-GROWTH FORMULA.

86. >> PAUL CHILD'S CHILDREN'S

87. HOSPITAL IS ON LINE ONE!

88. >> MISS, I'M SORRY.

89. HOLD ON A SECOND.

90. MAYOR'S OFFICE.

91. YES, RIGHT.

92. HA HA.

93. TOM, COACH HARRIS HAD A STROKE.

94. UH-HUH.

95. OH, NO.

96. THEY SAID IT WAS CAUSED BY THE EQUIPMENT BOY.

97. MM-HMM.

98. WELL, FINE.

99. GOOD-BYE.

100. YES, MA'AM?

101. HOW CAN I HELP YOU?

102. >> WELL, I WAS JUST TRYING TO BRING THIS FLAXAMAX STUFF TO

103. YOUR ATTENTION.

104. I THINK IF PEOPLE FIND OUT THAT THE KIDS ARE USING IT, WE—

105. WE'D HAVE TO FORFEIT.

106. >> HA HA HA HA HA HA.

107. COME WITH ME.

108. >> OH.

109. LOOKS LIKE YOU WERE VERY POPULAR.

110. >> I WAS, TOM.

111. I'M NOT QUITE SURE IF YOU'RE FAMILIAR WITH THE WRESTLING MOVE

112. CALLED THE CRAB, BUT I WAS RESPONSIBLE FOR DEVELOPING THAT.

113. >> WELL...

114. NEWS TO ME.

115. >> YEAH.

116. BOYS WRESTLING IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN MY HEART—

117. AND TO THE CITIZENS OF JEFFERTON.

118. SO, ANY TALK OF FORFEIT IS JUST OUT OF THE QUESTION.

119. >> WELL, I STILL FEEL THAT THIS FLAXAMAX IS JUST AGAINST

120. THE RULES.

121. >> SHH!

122. LET'S BE SCIENTIFIC ABOUT THIS AND GIVE IT A LITTLE TEST BEFORE

123. WE JUMP TO CONCLUSIONS.

124. >> I GUESS I SHOULD GET A SENSE FOR

125. THE LAY OF THE LAND HERE.

126. THIS TOPIC.

127. >> COME ON, TOM.

128. WE'LL BOTH DO IT.

129. HERE, I'LL HELP YOU.

130. JUST TAKE A LITTLE SNIFF.

131. >> OK.

132. WHOA!

133. WOW!

134. THIS STUFF ISN'T FOR KIDS.

135. >> WHAT DO YOU THINK, TOM?

136. >> OH, WOW.

137. I FEEL ALL TINGLY.

138. IT'S...

139. MMM!

140. I CAN CONCEIVE OF MY OWN FACIAL HAIR COMING OUT OF MY FACE.

141. IT'S LIKE I WANT TO GET A HAIRCUT, BUT I DON'T NEED ONE.

142. SO, IT'S THIS WHOLE TIME-SPATIAL RELATIONSHIP.

143. IT'S VERY SPIRITUAL ACTUALLY.

144. LET ME JUST GET ANOTHER ONE HERE.

145. WOW!

146. STUFF IS INCREDIBLE!

147. HA HA HA.

148. YOU GOTTA TRY IT, MAYOR!

149. >> OH, NO, THANK YOU.

150. I'LL PASS.

151. STILL TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHO WE CAN GET TO COACH FOR THE

152. CHAMPIONSHIP.

153. >> WAIT A MINUTE, I GOT A GOOD IDEA, WHY DON'T I COACH THESE

154. BOYS?

155. >> TOM, THAT'S A HUGE RESPONSIBILITY.

156. ARE YOU SURE YOU CAN HANDLE IT?

157. >> SURE, SURE, SURE, SURE, SURE, SURE, SURE, SURE!

158. I'LL DO IT!

159. I'LL DO IT FOR COACH HARRIS, AND I'LL DO IT FOR JEFFERTON!

160. I WON'T LET YOU DOWN, MAYOR!

161. AW, DAMN IT!

162. I'M FRICKIN' LATE!

163. WHY DOES THIS STUPID THING

164. ALWAYS DEFAULT TO FOG HORN?

165. DARN DIGITAL WHISTLE.

166. SHOULD HAVE STUCK WITH A MORE

167. TRADITIONAL MODEL.

168. >> OH, NO!

169. NO!

170. HA HA HA HA HA HA!

171. >> THERE WE GO.

172. ALL RIGHT, BOYS, GATHER ROUND.

173. BEFORE WE GET STARTED, I JUST WANT TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT

174. THIS FLAXAMAX STUFF.

175. NOW, I DON'T WANT TO SEE ANY MORE OF YOU KIDS GETTING MIXED

176. UP IN THIS CRAP.

177. AIN'T THAT RIGHT, COACH?

178. >> OH, BOY.

179. >> NOW, OUR CHAMPIONSHIP IS IN A COUPLE OF WEEKS, AND IF I CATCH

180. ANY OF YOU KIDS MESSING AROUND WITH THAT CRAP, I'M GONNA MARCH

181. RIGHT DOWN TO CITY COUNCIL, AND I'M GONNA HAVE ALL OF YOU

182. BENCHED!

183. ARE WE CLEAR ABOUT THAT?

184. NOW, IT'S JUST AGAINST THE RULES, CHILDREN!

185. AAH.

186. ALL RIGHT.

187. INSTEAD OF PRACTICE, YOU'RE ALL GONNA SIT YOUR LITTLE

188. ASSES DOWN AND WATCH THIS POWER PRESENTATION THAT I MADE.

189. ENJOY IT, CHILDREN.

190. AH, FINALLY.

191. AH, OH!

192. THIS STUFF IS ADDICTIVE.

193. >> WE'RE JUST DAYS AWAY FROM THE TRI-COUNTY COMMUNITY BOY'S

194. WRESTLING CHAMPIONSHIP.

195. >> THE MAYOR HAS APPOINTED EQUIPMENT BOY TOM PETERS TO

196. COACH THE PINNERS THIS YEAR.

197. >> WELL, FROM ALL OF US HERE AT CHANNEL 5 NEWS, GOOD LUCK, TOM.

198. >> LET'S WRESTLE!

199. >> LET'S WRESTLE!

200. >> OH, THESE...

201. MUSCLES ARE REALLY STARTING TO BULK ME UP.

202. >> HEY, HEAD COACH, LOOKING GOOD.

203. >> OH.

204. >> WHAT, HAVE YOU BEEN WORKING OUT?

205. >> UH...

206. YEAH, I GUESS.

207. >> HA HA.

208. YOU LOOK WONDERFUL.

209. >> WELL, THANK YOU.

210. JUST TRYING TO KEEP IN SHAPE.

211. >> SO, ARE MY PINNERS ALL READY FOR TOMORROW?

212. >> YOU BET.

213. I GAVE THEM A REAL STERN LECTURE ABOUT THIS FLAXAMAX JUNK,

214. AND I THINK IT REALLY LEFT AN IMPRESSION.

215. >> GREAT NEWS, TOM.

216. LET ME GIVE YOU A HAND HERE.

217. LOOKS LIKE A STRAY JOCK GOT AWAY.

218. >> WHAT THE HECK IS THIS?

219. FLAXAMAX!

220. >> FLAXAMAX!

221. PUT THE WEIGHT ON FAST!

222. >> DARN IT, CHILDREN!

223. >> TOM, I THOUGHT YOU HAD THIS SITUATION UNDER CONTROL.

224. >> YEAH, SO DID I, BUT THESE KIDS ARE GETTING SO CRAFTY.

225. DARN IT, CHILDREN.

226. NOW I HAVE TO GO TO CITY COUNCIL.

227. >> WAIT A MINUTE, TOM, PLEASE.

228. JUST TURN YOUR CHEEK ON THIS ONE.

229. >> NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!

230. THESE KIDS HAVE TO BE PUNISHED, MAYOR.

231. >> OK.

232. WELL, I GUESS THERE'S NO USE IN SHOWING YOU THIS.

233. >> OH, WHAT'S THAT?

234. >> IT'S A WRESTLING STATUE OF YOU.

235. AND I'LL PUT IT RIGHT NEXT TO MINE.

236. >> IT'S BEAUTIFUL.

237. >> AND IF YOU KEEP THAT MOUTH SHUT AND BRING ME HOME THAT

238. CHAMPIONSHIP, IT'S ALL YOURS.

239. >> HI, MAYOR.

240. WHAT'S ALL THIS ABOUT?

241. >> WELL, I FELT PRETTY BAD ABOUT MAKING YOU KEEP THAT SECRET LAST

242. NIGHT, SO I CAME UP WITH A WAY FOR YOU TO SAVE YOUR INTEGRITY

243. AS HEAD COACH AND STILL WIN THAT CHAMPIONSHIP.

244. >> OH.

245. >> ALL RIGHT.

246. REGARDING THIS WHOLE FLAXAMAX SITUATION...

247. I HAVE THIS COMPLAINT LETTER FROM UH...

248. >> IT LOOKS LIKE TOM PETERS.

249. >> WHAT?

250. I DIDN'T— >> TOM!

251. HOW COULD YOU?

252. >> MAYOR, I SWEAR TO HECK, I DIDN'T HAVE ANYTHING TO—

253. >> SHH.

254. TOM, COME HERE.

255. SECRET MEETING.

256. YOU SEE, I DID A LITTLE BIT OF SPORTS RESEARCH ON THE WEB LAST

257. NIGHT.

258. AND IT TURNS OUT THAT IN A NORMAL BOY'S TOURNAMENT,

259. IF ONE OF THE TEAMS GETS DISQUALIFIED, THE WHOLE MATCH

260. GETS DECIDED ON A SIMPLE COIN-TOSS.

261. LOOK WHAT I GOT.

262. TWO-HEADED COIN.

263. >> UH...

264. I DON'T THINK ANY OF THAT'S TRUE.

265. >> UH, OK.

266. WELL, IT LOOKS LIKE WE'RE GOING TO BE FORCED TO GO AHEAD AND

267. TEST YOU BOYS FOR TRACES OF THIS FLAXAMAX.

268. >> DISQUALIFIED, DISQUALIFIED,

269. DISQUALIFIED, DISQUALIFIED.

270. >> WELL, THEN ANYBODY WANT TO TELL ME WHO'S GONNA WRESTLE FOR

271. JEFFERTON THIS YEAR?

272. >> LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, HE STANDS 5'2", 425 POUNDS OF PURE

273. MUSCLE—MRS. TOM...

274. PETERS!

275. >> WAIT A MINUTE, MAYOR.

276. I DON'T THINK THIS IS SUCH A GREAT IDEA.

277. I'M MEAN, I'M A MAN, AND THIS IS A BOY'S CHAMPIONSHIP.

278. >> TOM, DO THIS FOR ME.

279. DO THIS FOR JEFFERTON.

280. DO THIS FOR COACH HARRIS.

281. >> >>

282. >> OH.

283. FAIR ENOUGH.

284. >> LET'S WRESTLE!

285. >> ♪ IT'S A MAN'S GAME THAT BOYS WILL PLAY

286. YOU'VE GOT TO KILL TO SURVIVE TOGETHER WITH THE PAIN

287. OF YESTERDAY ♪ >> TAG ME IN, TOM!

288. >> NO!

289. >> ♪ THAT YOU CAN SEE IN A YOUNG BOY'S EYE

290. A LONE WOLF OUT IN THE NIGHT IT'S A DAMAGED GAME

291. THAT'S HOW YOU PLAY ♪ >> DO THE CRAB!

292. >> ♪ GLORY >> AAGH!

293. >> OH, WOW.

294. THERE SHE IS.

295. WHAT A BEAUT.

296. BETTER LATE THAN NEVER, HUH, TOM?

297. HA HA HA.

298. BY THE WAY, HOW'VE YOU BEEN?

299. >> >> GOOD TO HEAR.

300. >> >> OH, WOW.

301. FLAXAMAX REALLY DRIED UP YOUR SPINAL COLUMN, NOW, DIDN'T IT?

302. HA HA HA.

303. TOLD YOU TO STEER CLEAR OF THAT, TOM.

304. ANYHOW, LET ME HELP YOU HERE.

305. I'M GONNA PROP UP YOUR HEAD AND PUT THIS TELESCOPE RIGHT UP

306. AGAINST YOUR GOOD EYE.

307. >> >> LOOK WHAT THEY DID.

308. LOOKS JUST LIKE YOU.

309. >> [CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY

310. TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP] [CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL

311. CAPTIONING INSTITUTE —www.ncicap.org—]

312. >> ABSOLUTELY.