Tom Goes to the Mayor 2x4

Directed by

Louie Anderson as Mining Team of Louie Andersons (voice) • Michael Hitchcock as Durango Bolo Salesman (voice) • David Pires as Roy Teppert (voice) • Fred Tatasciore as (voice) • Gregg Atwill as Crowd Guy In the Vest (voice)

Tom takes a job as CEO of the Jefferton Department of Special Projects.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP] >> ♪ JEFFERTON ALIVE

2. JEFFERTON ALIVE ♪ >> HI, I'M THE MAYOR.

3. MY DOOR IS ALWAYS OPEN FOR YOU...

4. >> ♪ JEFFERTON ALIVE >> MY NAME IS TOM PETERS, AND

5. I'M FULL OF IDEAS.

6. >> COMMUNITY SPIRIT!

7. >> HOW ARE YOU?

8. >> HA HA!

9. >> SHOPPING!

10. FOOD!

11. >> ♪ FREE TO BE BEING FREE

12. JEFFERTON ALIVE! ♪ >> UH, KNOCK, KNOCK, HELLO.

13. >> YES, MAYOR'S OFFICE.

14. >> TOM PETERS HERE.

15. >> HEY, TOM.

16. >> I JUST WAS GOING KIND OF DOOR-TO-DOOR.

17. I HAD THIS FRUIT BASKET HERE WITH ME.

18. WANTED TO SEE IF YOU WOULD BE INTERESTED IN HAVING IT.

19. >> OH, WOW, TOM, THAT'S SO SWEET OF YOU.

20. THANK YOU.

21. >> NO PROBLEM.

22. >> WHAT THE HECK IS THIS THING?

23. >> OH, DID THAT SLIP IN THERE?

24. DARN IT.

25. WELL, THAT'S JUST MY LATEST VERSION OF MY RESUME.

26. I UPDATED THE PAPER SIZE AND, OF COURSE, I CHANGED THE FONT ON

27. YOU.

28. >> OK.

29. >> YEAH, I'M JUST KIND OF OUT ON A JOB HUNT.

30. TURNS OUT MY SON'S HAVING CAREER DAY OVER AT THE SCHOOL NEXT

31. WEEK, AND I HAVEN'T EXACTLY FOUND A, YOU KNOW, QUOTE-UNQUOTE

32. "JOB," SO...

33. >> WELL, LET ME TAKE A LOOK AT THIS THING.

34. THIS IS HILARIOUS, TOM.

35. WHEN CAN YOU START?

36. >> OH!

37. WELL, WHAT IN TERMS OF OR...

38. >> WELL, A HUGE CEO POSITION OPENED UP IN THE DEPARTMENT

39. OF SPECIAL PROJECTS.

40. YOU'D BE PERFECT.

41. >> OH, WOW, WHITE COLLAR, EH?

42. WELL, I'M LEANING TOWARDS "YES," BUT JUST IN TERMS OF WHAT, YOU

43. KNOW, YOU GUYS DO OVER THERE, IT'S NOT QUITE CLEAR.

44. >> MAYBE THIS WEB FILM WILL CLEAR THE AIR.

45. >> OK, SO WHAT IS THE DEPARTMENT OF SPECIAL PROJECTS ANYWAY?

46. >> THE DEPARTMENT OF SPECIAL PROJECTS IS ABOUT FAMILY,

47. FRIENDS, E-STRATEGIES, AND COMMUNITY OUTREACH.

48. >> YOU KNOW, I'M JUST ONE MAN.

49. BUT HOW CAN I GET INVOLVED WITH THE DEPARTMENT OF SPECIAL

50. PROJECTS?

51. >> EVERYONE CAN CHIP IN TO THE DEPARTMENT OF SPECIAL PROJECTS.

52. IT'S SO IMPORTANT FOR YOUR FAMILY AND YOUR TOWN.

53. >> IS IT TRUE THAT THE DEPARTMENT OF SPECIAL PROJECTS

54. IS IN A STRATEGIC ALLIANCE WITH OUR COMMUNITY AND THE BUSINESS

55. COMMUNITY?

56. >> YOU SAID IT!

57. THE DEPARTMENT OF SPECIAL PROJECTS IS A STRATEGIC ALLIANCE

58. BETWEEN OUR COMMUNITY AND THE BUSINESS COMMUNITY.

59. >> HOLD ON A SECOND.

60. YOU'VE GOT TO TELL ME, IS THE DEPARTMENT OF SPECIAL PROJECTS

61. FUN OR WHAT?

62. >> NO, IT'S MORE THAN FUN.

63. IT'S AN ENRICHING AND EXHILARATING EXPERIENCE THAT

64. EVERYONE CAN ENJOY.

65. >> IS THE QUEST OF THE DEPARTMENT OF SPECIAL PROJECTS

66. STILL TO ACHIEVE PAST ITS GOAL THE 21st CENTURY?

67. >> NO, THE DEPARTMENT OF SPECIAL PROJECTS TAKES THE

68. VISION OF THE MAYOR AND JOINS IT WITH ALL OF THE WONDERFUL

69. COMMERCE AND WORLD TRADING THAT WE HAVE IN JEFFERTON.

70. >> WHAT DO YOU SAY, TOM?

71. WILL YOU TAKE IT?

72. >> WELL, IT SOUNDS GREAT.

73. THE ONLY CONDITION I HAVE IS, I'M NOT MUCH OF A TIE GUY.

74. I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOUR POLICY IS, BUT I'D MEET YOU HALFWAY

75. WITH A BOLO.

76. >> IT'S A DEAL, BUDDY.

77. >> KNOCK, KNOCK.

78. SORRY TO INTERRUPT YOUR CLASS, MR. DUNGLE.

79. I'M BRENDAN'S STEPFATHER, TOM PETERS HERE.

80. HEY, SON.

81. HOW ARE YOU?

82. I JUST WANT TO CONFIRM THAT I WILL BE SPEAKING AT CAREER DAY

83. NEXT WEEK.

84. I'LL BE TALKING ABOUT MY NEW POSITION AS A TOP-LEVEL CEO OVER

85. AT THE DEPARTMENT OF SPECIAL PROJECTS.

86. THANK YOU.

87. BRENDAN, SON, I'LL SEE YOU HOME TONIGHT.

88. ONCE WE GET YOU TUCKED IN YOUR PJs, MAYBE WE'LL PLAY A LITTLE

89. GAME OF PET-PET.

90. >> OH, MY GOD, IT'S PERFECT!

91. >> YES, SHE DOES LOOK QUITE NICE.

92. >> YOU'RE ALSO GOING TO NEED THIS.

93. IT'S A XXL DURANGO BRIEFCASE FOR MEN.

94. IT'S TOP OF THE LINE.

95. EVERYONE'S GETTING ONE THIS SEASON.

96. I HATE TO DROP NAMES, BUT ASHTER HAVARAMA HAS ONE.

97. DAVID VAN GILDER.

98. JOJO MINELLI.

99. >> ALL RIGHT.

100. >> ISN'T THAT SMOOTH?

101. THAT'S COWSKIN ON THE SIDE THERE, TOM, AND ON THE REVERSE

102. SIDE IS A LITTLE BIT OF HORSEHAIR.

103. GIVE IT A TOUCH.

104. ISN'T THAT NICE?

105. >> I GUESS A GENTLEMAN NEVER GETS A SECOND CHANCE TO MAKE A

106. FIRST IMPRESSION.

107. >> HURRAY!

108. >> A STATEMENT, MR. PETERS!

109. >> LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, OUR NEW CEO, TOM PETERS!

110. >> WOW, GEEZ, I DON'T KNOW WHAT

111. TO SAY.

112. I'M A LITTLE...

113. SORRY, I'M CRYING.

114. I JUST WANT TO THANK EVERYBODY HERE FOR GIVING ME THIS

115. OPPORTUNITY, AND I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW IMPORTANT THIS IS FOR ME

116. AND MY FAMILY.

117. I'M GOING TO TRY REALLY HARD, AND I'M GOING TO BE THE BEST CEO

118. THIS COMPANY'S PROBABLY EVER HAD!

119. >> TOM, YOU'RE JUST GOING TO DO GREAT.

120. HERE'S YOUR EXECUTIVE DINGLEBERRY, AND HERE'S YOUR

121. ELEVATOR PASS.

122. JUST SWIPE THAT PASS RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE SENSOR AND IT WILL

123. TAKE YOU RIGHT TO YOUR OFFICE.

124. >> WELCOME, CEO TAM PIETRIS.

125. >> OH, THANK YOU.

126. >> HMM.

127. NOT SURE WHY WE'RE GOING DOWN.

128. >> HEY, YOU, WITH THAT DESIGNER

129. >> HEY, YOU, WITH THAT DESIGNER

130. BRIEFCASE!

131. GRAB A SHOVEL AND START DIGGING!

132. >> ONE SECOND, ROY.

133. YES, MAYOR'S OFFICE.

134. >> HEY, MAYOR, IT'S TOM PETERS.

135. >> OH, HEY, TOM.

136. HOW YOU DOING DOWN THERE?

137. >> LISTEN, I'VE GOT A BIG PROBLEM DOWN HERE.

138. THEY'VE GOT ME DIGGING!

139. HA HA!

140. >> WELL, TOM, THAT SOUNDS FINE.

141. I DON'T SEE WHAT THE PROBLEM IS.

142. ROY, I SAID "NO!" >> WELL, IT'S JUST THAT I

143. THOUGHT YOU SAID I'D BE CEO, YOU KNOW, LIKE THE HEAD OF THE

144. COMPANY.

145. >> OH, I SEE WHAT'S HAPPENING.

146. YOU MUST BE A LITTLE CONFUSED, TOM.

147. YOU'RE MY CERTIFIED MINER ON DUTY—MY CEO.

148. >> WELL, I GUESS I CAN GIVE IT THE OLD JUNIOR COLLEGE TRY.

149. BUT YOU KNOW— >> COME ON, RAY, LET'S GET BACK

150. TO WORK.

151. >> "MY JOB AS CEO IS THE BEST JOB I'VE EVER HAD.

152. EACH DAY IS JAM-PACKED WITH HIGH-LEVEL DECISIONS, IMPORTANT

153. MEETINGS—" GOD, THIS ISN'T TRUE AT ALL.

154. I CAN'T LIE TO MY SON.

155. >> PICK UP THE PACE, YOU LAZY SON-OF-A-BITCH!

156. >> EXCUSE ME, GUYS.

157. I HATE TO INTERRUPT.

158. I WAS JUST WONDERING IF YOU GUYS HAD ANY IDEA WHAT WE'RE DIGGING

159. FOR DOWN HERE.

160. >> COME ON.

161. ARE YOU KIDDING?

162. IT'S A SPECIAL PROJECT.

163. I DON'T KNOW.

164. NO ONE DOES!

165. >> HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT TO DIG FOR, THEN?

166. >> HA HA HA!

167. HE'S A JOKER, EH?

168. >> ALL RIGHT.

169. >> HONEY, WOULD YOU MIND TURNING

170. IT DOWN JUST A SMIDGE?

171. I'M TRYING TO GET A LITTLE SHUT-EYE HERE.

172. >> OH!

173. >> ALL RIGHT, WE'RE BACK.

174. MY NEXT GUEST IS ONE OF THE ANCHORS ON THE MARRIED NEWS

175. PROGRAM.

176. HE'S HERE TO TALK ABOUT SOME OF THE STORIES HE'S BEEN REPORTING

177. ON.

178. MY HUSBAND, WAYNE SKYLAR.

179. WELL, HI.

180. THANKS FOR COMING.

181. >> THANKS SO MUCH FOR HAVING ME HERE.

182. I'M A BIG FAN OF THE SHOW.

183. >> OH, WELL, THANK YOU.

184. IT'S BEEN A HECK OF A TIME GETTING YOU ON HERE.

185. AND NOW IT'S TIME FOR A SEGMENT CALLED, "THE HOT SEAT."

186. JEFFERTON HAS BEEN SPENDING MILLIONS OF DOLLARS ON THE

187. DEPARTMENT OF SPECIAL PROJECTS.

188. ISN'T IT TIME THAT WE FIND OUT WHAT WE'RE DIGGING FOR DOWN

189. THERE, WAYNE?

190. ISN'T IT TIME THE PEOPLE KNOW?

191. ANSWER THE QUESTION!

192. >> I DON'T KNOW.

193. >> SO, IN CONCLUSION, THE CEO'S JOB IS BASICALLY THE HEAD OF THE

194. COMPANY, AND THEY GET TO MAKE A LOT OF HIGH-LEVEL DECISIONS, AND

195. GET TO HIRE AND FIRE ANYBODY THEY WANT TO.

196. SO, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

197. >> ♪ YOUR CAREER IS THE GREATEST

198. YOUR WORK IS SUBLIME YOU'RE A MASTER

199. >> NICE WORK, YOU FILTHY LIAR.

200. HA HA HA!

201. >> AAH!

202. SONS, WAKE UP.

203. IT'S YOUR PET-PET, MR. PICKLE.

204. YOUR DAD, YOUR STEPDAD.

205. BUT YOU GUYS CAN CALL ME TOM PETERS, DOESN'T MATTER TO ME.

206. LISTEN, I JUST HAD A PRETTY BAD NIGHTMARE, AS YOU CAN PROBABLY

207. TELL.

208. AND I WON'T BE COMING TO CAREER DAY TOMORROW, SON.

209. I NEED YOU TO KNOW THAT.

210. THE TRUTH IS I'M NOT A CEO IN THE TRADITIONAL SENSE OF THE

211. WORD.

212. I'M JUST A FILTHY MINER.

213. IN FACT, I JUST GOT OFF THE PHONE WITH THE MAYOR, WHERE I

214. RESIGNED.

215. BUT, YOU KNOW, TOMORROW'S ANOTHER DAY.

216. I'M JUST GOING TO GET BACK ON THE HORSE AND GET SOME RESUMES

217. OUT THERE AND SEE WHAT I CAN DO.

218. >> ATTENTION, JEFFERTON.

219. PLEASE REPORT TO MEMORIAL PARK.

220. >> LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE

221. DEPARTMENT OF SPECIAL PROJECTS CAN NOW COME TO A CLOSE.

222. AFTER 9 LONG YEARS OF VIGOROUSLY DIGGING, WE HAVE UNEARTHED MY

223. SPECIAL MYSTERY SURPRISE.

224. I'D LIKE TO THANK CITY COUNCIL FOR DONATING 99% OF THE TOWN

225. BUDGET.

226. AND I'D LIKE TO THANK ALL MY LOUIE ANDERSONS FOR BELIEVING

227. IN ME ON THIS LONG JOURNEY.

228. THANKS, LOUIES.

229. I WISH I COULD THANK FORMER CEO TOM PETERS, BUT HE JUST COULDN'T

230. STICK IT OUT.

231. THE JOB JUST WASN'T FOR HIM.

232. SHAME ON YOU, TOM.

233. AND NOW, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MY SPECIAL MYSTERY SURPRISE!

234. OH, LOOK AT THIS.

235. MY SEINFELD POSTER.

236. AND MY 1990 MARRIED NEWS

237. CALENDAR.

238. [CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY

239. TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP] [CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL