Tom Goes to the Mayor 2x3

Directed by

Fred Armisen as Phillip Priest (voice) • Bob Odenkirk as Bradley (voice)

Tom and The Mayor create a fake sea serpent to increase tourism.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP

2. HI, I'M THE MAYOR

3. AND MY DOOR IS ALWAYS OPEN FOR

4. YOOOOOOOOOOO...

5. MY NAME IS TOM PETERS

6. AND I'M FULL OF IDEAS.

7. COMMUNITY SPIRIT!

8. HI, HOW ARE YOU...

9. SHOPPING...

10. FOOD!

11. MORNING...

12. HELLO?

13. YES, UH — HELLO.

14. WHO'S THERE, PLEASE.

15. IT'S TOM PETERS.

16. GREAT.

17. I JUST WANTED TO, UH —

18. I JUST WANTED TO COME BY

19. AND TALK TO YOU ABOUT SOMETHING.

20. UH, I WAS UP, UH, ABOUT MOST THE NIGHT

21. UH, KIND OF WORRIED

22. ABOUT JERRERTON TOURISM INDUSTRY.

23. OH, I APPRECIATE THAT, TOM.

24. WELL, IT ALL GOT SPARK OFF WHEN

25. WHEN I WAS WATCHING THAT'S AMAZING LAST NIGHT.

26. LOVE THAT SHOW.

27. HAD THE GOOD FORTUNE ENOUGH

28. TO END UP TAPING IT.

29. LET ME SEE IF I CAN FIND THE SEGMENT HERE.

30. WHO MAKES HER OWN CLOTHES OUT OF PANCAKES.

31. OH, BRADLEY.

32. OH, DARN IT. I SHOULD HAVE CUED IT.

33. UH, WELL, YOU KNOW.

34. BASICALLY, IT WAS ABOUT THE LOCKNESS MONSTER.

35. NOT SURE IF YOU ARE FAMILIAR WITH THAT.

36. UH, SHOULD BE COMING UP IN A SEC HERE.

37. BALLS ARE FUN.

38. BUT NOT WHEN YOU'RE LOCKED INSIDE OF ONE.

39. SAY, I DIDN'T KNOW THAT YOU WERE IN TOWN.

40. HUH, ANYWAY—

41. THEY HAD THIS SEGMENT ABOUT

42. SOMETHING CALLED THE LOCKNESS MONSTER.

43. WHICH I GUESS ITS SOME SORT OF SEA SERPENT

44. THAT LIVES IN SCOTCHLAND.

45. UH, HUH.

46. APPARENTLY, DID PRETTY WELL

47. FOR THEIR TOURISM INDUSTRY.

48. RIGHT.

49. I WAS JUST WONDERING

50. IF YOU KNEW OF ANY MYSTERIES THAT ABOUT JERRERTON

51. THAT WE COULD KIND OF USE.

52. UH, TO BRING IN THE TOURIST.

53. NOTHING'S REALLY RINGING A BELL RIGHT NOW—

54. MMM, UH, TELL YOU WHAT TOM.

55. CAN YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES, PLEASE.

56. ALRIGHT.

57. TA-DA!

58. WHAT DO YOU THINK, TOM?

59. UH, WELL, I'M JUST NOT 100% SURE

60. WHAT I'M LOOKING AT, I GUESS.

61. IT'S OUR SEA SERPENT... IT'S OUR LOCKNESS...

62. OH.

63. I'M CALLING HIM, JEFFY.

64. OH, I SEE,

65. WE BUILD OUR OWN MAN-MADE SERPENT...

66. UH-HUH.

67. I GET IT. RIGHT.

68. THEN WE CONVINCE PEOPLE THAT IT'S REAL.

69. MM-HMM.

70. OH, MY GOSH.

71. THAT'S A LITTLE DEVILISH BUT, I LIKE IT.

72. TOM, IT'S GONNA BE BEAUTIFUL.

73. I'VE DESIGNED A LITTLE PILOT'S POD INSIDE.

74. OK.

75. I WANNA PUT YOU IN THERE AND —

76. AND, YOU CAN STEER IT

77. AND MOVE IT ALL OVER THE LAKE

78. LIKE A REAL SERPENT.

79. OH, MAYOR...

80. THIS IS REALLY GONNA BE BIG NEWS FOR TOURISM.

81. OH, I CAN SEE THE T-SHIRTS

82. AND CD'S AND ALL THE HATS

83. IT'S GONNA BE WONDERFUL.

84. I CAN EVEN IMAGINE A BEAR THAT GOES...

85. 'JEFFY THE SEA SERPENT'

86. OK, COUPLE MORE STEPS

87. AND WE'LL BE THERE AND —

88. OK, HERE WE ARE.

89. WHAT DO YOU THINK?

90. ISN'T IT AWESOME?

91. OH, TOM... IT JUST LOOKS SO REAL

92. IT'S WONDERFUL...

93. IT'S ALL YOU MAYOR. I MEAN, ALL I HAD TO DO WAS

94. FOLLOW THE BLUE PRINTS.

95. IT WAS PERFECT.

96. TOM, YOU JUST HIT OUT THE PARK WITH THIS ONE.

97. WELL, REMEMBER... WE'RE NOT DONE YET.

98. YOU HAVE TO LEAK IT OUT TO THE PRESS

99. AND WE CAN'T LET ANYONE KNOW THAT IT'S FAKE.

100. RIGHT, I GOT IT.

101. AS FAR AS I KNOW...

102. THAT'S A REAL SEA SERPENT.

103. ALRIGHT, LET ME JUST GET MYSELF SITUATED —

104. AH!

105. OH, BON VOYAGE, HEY TOM.

106. NOW LET ME TAKE A SNAP SHOT HERE

107. FOR THE MARRIED NEWS TEAM

108. SMILE...

109. THERE... VERY NICE.

110. SEA SERPENT...

111. THAT'S RIGHT.

112. MARRIED NEWS CONFIRMED THE SIGHTING

113. OF MYSTERIOUS SEA SERPENT THAT DWELLS

114. DEEP WITHIN THE JERRERTON MAN-MADE LAKE.

115. AT NIGHT HE POPS HIS HEAD UP

116. OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER

117. OVER AND OVER AND OVER

118. AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN

119. WE'RE CALLING HIM, JEFFY.

120. WELL, LISTEN.

121. I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS...

122. OR WHERE THE HECK IT CAME FROM.

123. BUT, I HAVE TO ADMIT SOMETHING TO YOU THERE, WAYNE.

124. COME HERE.

125. I THINK IT'S CUTE.

126. DARN IT, I'M RUNNING LOW ON AIR.

127. BETTER TELL THE MAYOR.

128. WE HAVE TO ABANDON SHIP HERE.

129. COME ON, CHILDREN.

130. PLEASE KEEP UP NOW.

131. WE'RE ALMOST TO JEFFY.

132. MAYOR, IT'S TOM PETERS.

133. I'M HAVING AND AIR SUPPLY PROBLEM DOWN HERE

134. OVER AND OUT...

135. UH, MAYOR TO TOM PETERS...

136. OVER AND OUT.

137. ARE WE ON A SECURE LINE...

138. OVER AND OUT.

139. ABSOLUTELY TOM, 10-4 TO THAT...

140. OVER AND OUT.

141. CHECK... OVER AND OUT.

142. LISTEN TOM...

143. I HAVE A BIG TOUR GROUP

144. COMING TO SEE JEFFY.

145. I'MA NEED YOU TO BRING HER TO THE SURFACE

146. AND DO SOME TRICKS FOR ME.

147. OVER AND OUT.

148. YEAH, I CAN'T GIVE YOU 10-4 TO THAT, MAYOR.

149. LOOKS LIKE WE'RE HAVING SOME MAJOR TECHNICAL PROBLEMS

150. I'M GONNA SEND HER BACK TO PORT.

151. CHECK— OVER AND OUT.

152. 10-4 TO THAT, TOM.

153. TOUR BOAT'S COMING YOUR WAY.

154. LET'S GIVE IT TO THEM. OVER AND OUT.

155. ALRIGHT, LET ME SEE IF I CAN

156. GET HER GOING HERE.

157. TRY MY LEFT CRANE...

158. IT SHOULD PROBABLY TAKE ME UP.

159. A LITTLE LESS ON THE GAS...

160. OH, I'M GETTING THIS.

161. WHOOPS.

162. EASY GIRL.

163. TOM, WHAT'S HAPPENING?

164. OVER AND OUT.

165. I LOST CONTROL OF HER, MAYOR.

166. SHE HAS A MIND OF HER OWN SOMETIMES.

167. ARE YOU SAYING THAT SHE ATE YOU?

168. PLEASE, NO... OVER AND OUT.

169. GOODBYE, FRIEND.

170. UH, MISTER MAYOR,

171. YOU WANT TO TRY TO EXPLAIN

172. WHAT'S GOING ON IN THE MAN-MADE LAKE, RIGHT NOW.

173. OH, THAT'S ACTUALLY A FUNNY STORY.

174. UH, APPARENTLY, THIS DEADLY SEA SERPENT

175. I'M CALLING HIM, JEFFY

176. HAS RISEN FROM THE DEAD.

177. AND, IS UH, ATTACKING OUT TOWN

178. AND, AND — KILLING EVERYBODY.

179. BUT THE GOOD THING IS

180. THAT JEFFERTON TOURISM HAS JUMPED UP 200%.

181. EXCUSE ME, MISTER MAYOR, MY WIFE AND DAUGHTER

182. WERE ON THAT BOAT

183. AND I DON'T THINK IT'S APPROPRIATE —

184. COOL IT, CHAD — CHAD —

185. SHH — COME ON.

186. WHO CARES ABOUT THAT.

187. YOU KNOW THAT THE MAIN POINT HERE

188. IS THAT WE NEED TO TALK TO JEFFY

189. AND REASON WITH HIM

190. AND BRING HIM BACK ON OUR SIDE.

191. AND THAT'S WHY I HIRED...

192. A TRUE FRIEND OF THE SERPENT

193. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN...

194. PHILLIP PRIIIIIIEST!

195. HEY, FOLKS. HEY GANG...

196. THANKS FOR HAVING ME.

197. OW— OH!

198. OH— OUCH!

199. MY NAME IS PHILLIP PRIEST.

200. I'M FROM THE SNAKES AND SUCH INSTITUTE.

201. AND THIS HERE, DON'T BE SCARED.

202. IS JONATHAN.

203. LOOK AT THAT.

204. HE'S A SWISS BINGO CONSTRUCTOR.

205. OUCH! JONATHAN!

206. BAD... OOOH! SHH —

207. LET'S SEE WHAT ELSE.

208. HE'S A REAL APPLE LOVER.

209. YOU GUYS LIKE APPLES?

210. DO YOU LIKE APPLES?

211. YEAH, HE EATS APPLES TOO.

212. BUT SOMETIMES... GUESS WHAT HE EATS?

213. MICE...

214. YUCK.

215. YEAH, A EAT WHOLE MOUSE.

216. OUCH! JONATHAN... NO!

217. BAD!

218. BAD!

219. GENTLEMEN, THE POINT IS —

220. PHILLIP IS THE ONLY ONE IN TOWN WITH A BOAT

221. AND, HE MAY BE ABLE TO NEGOTIATE WITH JEFFY.

222. DO YOU KNOW LITTLE GUY?

223. YOU BITE ME!

224. SHH —

225. MAY-DAY!

226. S-O-S!

227. HELP ME... ANYONE!

228. OVER AND OUT.

229. WHO'S OUT THERE?

230. ARE YOU A FISH?

231. FRIEND?

232. FRIEND, LISTEN.

233. JUST GIVE ME A HAND HERE.

234. WHAT WAS THAT?

235. TRY THE MANUAL STARTER CABLE.

236. OK.

237. I'LL GIVE IT A SHOT.

238. THANKS, FRIEND.

239. I KNOW YOU ARE OUT HERE SOMEWHERE.

240. SHOW YOUR FACE, YOU SILLY DINOSAUR.

241. THANK GOODNESS.

242. PHILLIP, THERE HE IS!

243. MAYOR, LET ME TALK TO HIM.

244. JEFFY...

245. JEFFY, YEAH...

246. DO YOU LIKE THE SOUND OF MY VOICE?

247. COME GIVE YOUR UNCLE PHILLIP A KISS.

248. YEAH, IT'S OK.

249. I'M YOUR UNCLE.

250. I'M YOUR FRIEND.

251. GIVE ME A KISS, BUDDY.

252. ALRIGHT, LET ME JUST MANEUVER THIS GUY TO —

253. AH!

254. CAN I OVER YOU AN APPLE?

255. AAAAAAH!

256. OH — PHILLIP, NO!

257. OH, PHILLIP.

258. I'M GOING TO GET YOU, JEFFY.

259. WOW! OH!

260. AAAAWWWWHHH!

261. AH.

262. HUH!

263. YEEEAHHH!

264. AH!

265. ADIOS A LA MANANA, MY OLD FRIEND.

266. I THINK I LIKED YOU BETTER DEAD, JEFFY.

267. SO YOU WANNA PLAY, DO YOU?

268. COME HERE.

269. I HAVE SOME FRESH APPLES FOR YOU.

270. COME TAKE A BITE

271. AAAAAAAAAAAHHH!

272. DEAR JOY...

273. UH, IT'S BEEN SIX MONTHS NOW...

274. I'VE BEEN SCREAMING FOR HELP IN A TWENTY MINUTE REGIMENT

275. DON'T WANT TO WEAR MYSELF OUT TOO MUCH.

276. BUT THE GOOD NEWS IS

277. THERE'S A GOOD AMOUNT EDIBLE FOAM IN HERE

278. FROM THE, UH, THE PACKING JOB I DID.

279. OH —

280. I HEAR SOMEBODY TALKING I GOTTA START SCREAMING AGAIN.

281. HELP!

282. HELP ME!

283. HELP!

284. HEEEEELP!

285. HELP ME!

286. HELP!

287. HEEEEELP!

288. OH, MY GOD!

289. I THINK THAT SOUND

290. IS COMING FROM INSIDE ME.

291. HEY!

292. HELP!