Tom Goes to the Mayor 2x11

Directed by

Brian Doyle-Murray as Bernie Fusterillio (voice) • Bob Odenkirk as Giftshop Clerk (voice)

Tom and The Mayor spruce up the Jefferton Public Zoo.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. JEFFERTON ALIVE ♪ >> HI, I'M THE MAYOR.

2. MY DOOR IS ALWAYS OPEN FOR YOU...

3. >> ♪ JEFFERTON ALIVE >> MY NAME IS TOM PETERS, AND

4. I'M IN ZOO TROUBLE.

5. >> COMMUNITY SPIRIT!

6. >> HOW ARE YOU?

7. >> HA HA!

8. >> SHOPPING!

9. FOOD!

10. >> ♪ FREE TO BE BEING FREE

11. >> OK, FOLKS, IF YOU'LL JUST FOLLOW ME.

12. WE'RE ALMOST DONE.

13. AH, HERE WE ARE.

14. AND THIS IS WHERE OUR COLLECTION OF LLAMAS USED TO BE, JOSEY

15. AND SAM.

16. THEY'RE NOT WITH US ANYMORE.

17. AND OVER HERE, WE HAVE THE JEFFERTON COMMON SQUIRREL.

18. THERE HE IS.

19. WE CALL HIM "NUTTY."

20. HE LOVES NUTS, YOU KNOW.

21. AND OVER HERE'S THE GRAND FINALE, MICHAEL DAVIDSON.

22. HE'S AN APE.

23. I DON'T HAVE THAT MUCH INFORMATION ON HIM HERE.

24. SHOOT.

25. OK, FOLKS, LET'S, UM, HEAD ON OVER TO THE VISITOR'S CENTER.

26. >> YOU KNOW, THE JEFFERTON

27. PUBLIC ZOO WASN'T ALWAYS A ZOO.

28. THAT'S RIGHT, IN PIONEER DAYS, THESE FACILITIES HELD CAPTIVE

29. INDIANS AND HOMOSEXUALS.

30. BUT UP UNTIL A FEW YEARS AGO, WE FEATURED THE WIDE SPECTRUM OF

31. THE ANIMAL KINGDOM.

32. BUDGET CUTBACKS AND A MYSTERIOUS OUTBREAK OF SHILLER'S SYNDROME

33. HAS FORCED US TO SELL MOST OF OUR BEAUTIFUL CREATURES TO

34. INDEPENDENT TRADERS OF RARE ANIMALS.

35. BUT DON'T WORRY, YOU'LL FIND THE JEFFERTON PUBLIC ZOO TO BE FUN,

36. EDUCATIONAL, AND FULL OF ADVENTURE.

37. AND, IF YOU'RE LUCKY, OUR OLD FRIEND MICHAEL DAVIDSON WILL

38. COME OUT OF HIS CAVE AND SAY HELLO.

39. HELLO, MICHAEL.

40. AND HELLO TO YOU.

41. >> HEY, JOY, IT'S TOM PETERS.

42. JUST WANTED TO GIVE YOU A HEAD'S UP THAT I'M VOLUNTEERING ALL

43. WEEK AT THE PUBLIC ZOO— >> EXCUSE ME, SIR.

44. >> ONE SEC.

45. —SO I CAN'T PICK UP THE BOYS TONIGHT AND—

46. >> BOYS?

47. >> I'M SORRY, I JUST NEED TO FINISH LEAVING THIS MESSAGE.

48. >> GREAT, I'LL WAIT.

49. I JUST NEED TO SPEAK TO SOMEONE IN CHARGE.

50. >> OK, HOLD ON.

51. —JUST TO SAY AGAIN, I CAN'T PICK UP THE BOYS TONIGHT FROM

52. SOCCER— >> MAYOR HERE.

53. >> I'M GOING TO HAVE TO CALL YOU BACK.

54. IT'S TOM PETERS.

55. >> SIR?

56. >> I'M SORRY ABOUT THAT.

57. >> ARE YOU IN CHARGE HERE?

58. >> I GUESS YOU COULD SAY THAT.

59. IT'S GOOD OLD TOM PETERS.

60. >> GREAT, TOM.

61. I JUST WANTED TO COMPLAIN ABOUT THIS STINKHOUSE OF A ZOO HERE.

62. >> YOU'RE TELLING ME.

63. I DON'T WANT TO POINT MY FINGER, BUT EVER SINCE BERNIE

64. FUSTERILLIO'S REAL LIVE INCREDIBLE ANIMAL EXPERIENCE

65. OPENED ACROSS THE STREET, IT'S JUST BEEN DOWNHILL.

66. I MEAN, OUR ATTENDANCE DROPPED 80% LAST WEEK.

67. >> HMM.

68. ARE YOU THINKING WHAT I'M THINKING?

69. >> WELL, PROBABLY NOT.

70. >> COME ON, TOM.

71. LET'S GO UNDERCOVER AND CHECK OUT OUR COMPETITION.

72. >> WELCOME TO THE REAL LIVE INCREDIBLE ANIMAL EXPERIENCE.

73. PREPARE TO BE AMAZED AND EXCITED BEYOND YOUR WILDEST DREAMS.

74. THE ANIMAL KINGDOM HAS NEVER BEEN SO ALIVE.

75. >> FOR THE SAKE OF OUR ANIMALS, FLASH PHOTOGRAPHY IS PROHIBITED.

76. PLEASE KEEP YOUR ARMS, LEGS, AND HANDS INSIDE THE HARNESS POD.

77. >> WOW, IT'S PRETTY EXCITING STUFF, ISN'T IT, TOM?

78. >> TO BE HONEST, I'M A LITTLE SPOOKED.

79. >> ME, TOO, BUDDY.

80. BUT WE'RE TOGETHER ON THIS.

81. >> AND AFTER THE RIDE, WON'T YOU VISIT OUR AWARD-WINNING GIFT

82. SHOPPE?

83. I'M BERNIE FUSTERILLIO, AND

84. WELCOME TO MY REAL LIVE INCREDIBLE ANIMAL EXPERIENCE.

85. FOR THE NEXT 20 MINUTES, YOU WILL SEE LITERALLY HUNDREDS OF

86. ANIMALS OF ALL KINDS, ALL WITHOUT LEAVING THE COMFORT OF

87. YOUR HARNESS POD.

88. AND IF SEEING IS BELIEVING, THEN I COMMAND YOU TO BELIEVE IN THE

89. WILDEBEEST OF THE SERENGETI!

90. >> SMELL THE BREATH OF THE

91. MIGHTY LION.

92. BEWARE THE WILD BEAST.

93. NATURE'S MOST UNTAMED BEASTS.

94. >> AAH!

95. >> AAH!

96. >> OK, THAT WILL BE $847.

97. >> HMM, THAT'S FUNNY.

98. ALL MY LOOSE CHANGE IS GONE.

99. >> HUH.

100. I'M MISSING MY LUCKY SAND DOLLAR.

101. UHH!

102. >> WOW, I LOVE THIS MISTING

103. HELMET, TOM.

104. DARN IT, HOW'S OUR ZOO GOING TO COMPETE WITH THIS PLACE?

105. >> WELL, I WAS DOING A LITTLE MEDITATING DURING THE RIDE...

106. >> UH-HUH.

107. >> ... AND I THINK IF WE CAN SPRUCE UP OUR ZOO AND FOCUS ON

108. THE REAL ANIMALS THAT WE HAVE, I THINK WE COULD—

109. HEH HEH.

110. >> SORRY, TOM.

111. THIS THING'S GOT A REAL HAIRPIN TRIGGER ON IT.

112. >> THAT'S FINE.

113. NO PROBLEM.

114. >> BUT I LIKE WHERE YOU'RE GOING WITH THIS.

115. >> YEAH, I MEAN, YOU KNOW, I'D BE WILLING TO GO AHEAD AND PULL

116. AN ALL-NIGHTER, GET SOME PLANS TOGETHER.

117. >> UH-HUH.

118. >> I THINK THE FIRST THING WE'VE GOT TO GET, THOUGH, IS MORE

119. ANIMALS.

120. >> GOOD IDEA.

121. >> OF COURSE, THE CAGES NEED TO BE CLEANED.

122. >> RIGHT.

123. >> I MIGHT BE ABLE TO PRY THE LAPTOP FROM JOY, AND I COULD PUT

124. TOGETHER A SPREADSHEET OF ALL MY—

125. HEH HEH HEH.

126. OK.

127. >> SO, WE'RE PRETTY MUCH DONE HERE.

128. WE STARTED WITHOUT YOU, BUDDY.

129. >> WELL, YOU KNOW, I'D STILL LIKE YOU TO TAKE A LOOK AT MY

130. SPREADSHEET.

131. >> TOM, LOOK AT THIS.

132. THEY'RE CALLED ELECTRIC SIDEWALKS.

133. I DON'T EVEN HAVE TO MOVE MY LEGS.

134. >> WELL, I CAN SEE THAT.

135. >> AND HERE COME THE ANIMALS.

136. >> HUH.

137. YEAH, I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WOULD LITERALLY DRESS UP THE ANIMALS.

138. I THOUGHT YOU MEANT MORE OF A CAGE CLEAN.

139. >> AND THERE'S THE DISCO ROOM.

140. >> LOOKS LIKE THEY'RE HAVING

141. A GREAT TIME.

142. >> THEY SURE ARE.

143. LOOK AT THEM GO.

144. AND OVER HERE IS THE OPEN AIR CAFETERIA.

145. >> WELL, IT'S PRETTY CONVENIENT, I GUESS.

146. >> YEAH, WELL, THAT'S THE POINT.

147. SO LISTEN, TOM, TOMORROW'S THE GRAND OPENING AND I'M GOING TO

148. NEED YOU ON OVERNIGHT SECURITY DETAIL, TO WATCH OVER MY LITTLE

149. ANGELS.

150. >> OH, ALL RIGHT.

151. MY EVENING SHOULD BE PRETTY FREE, DEPENDING ON WHETHER—

152. >> OH, I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE BERNIE FUSTERILLIO'S FACE WHEN

153. HE SEES WHAT WE COOKED UP HERE.

154. >> GOOD NIGHT, MRS. GOAT.

155. GOOD NIGHT, MR. MERE CAT.

156. GOOD NIGHT, MICHAEL DAVIDSON.

157. MICHAEL!

158. ANYONE HOME?

159. >> TOM?

160. TOM!

161. WAKE UP!

162. >> WHAT?

163. MICHAEL—MICHAEL DAVIDSON?

164. >> CARE FOR A GAME OF CHESS?

165. >> WELL, TO BE HONEST, I'M MORE OF A CHECKERS MAN.

166. >> BUT YOU DO KNOW HOW TO PLAY, RIGHT?

167. >> UH, NOT SO MUCH.

168. I'VE BEEN MEANING TO BONE UP ON SOME OF THOSE SKILLS.

169. I COULD SETTLE FOR A RAIN CHECK AT THIS POINT.

170. YOU KNOW, I'M JUST A LITTLE CONFUSED HERE—

171. >> NEVER MIND.

172. TOM, LISTEN CLOSELY.

173. I HAVE SPOKEN TO THE ANIMAL COUNCIL.

174. YOU MUST CLOSE THIS ZOO AND RELEASE US BACK INTO THE WILD.

175. >> WELL, I DON'T WANT TO BE A SHEEP IN WOLVES' CLOTHING HERE,

176. BUT I'VE ALWAYS FELT A BIT PERSNICKETY ABOUT CAGING WILD

177. ANIMALS ANYWAYS.

178. >> THIS IS WHY I'VE CHOSEN YOU, TOM.

179. THE COUNCIL HAS DETERMINED THAT YOU ARE THE WISEST OF YOUR

180. SPECIES.

181. >> OH, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

182. >> THE FATE OF ANIMALKIND RELIES ON YOU CLOSING THIS ZOO.

183. IF NOT, THERE WILL BE GRAVE CONSEQUENCES FOR THE HUMAN RACE.

184. GRAVE!

185. >> UH...

186. I SURE HOPE THIS IS IMPORTANT, MR. PETERS.

187. >> OH, IT ABSOLUTELY IS.

188. SO, BASICALLY, MICHAEL DAVIDSON TOLD ME WE'VE GOT TO CLOSE THE

189. ZOO IMMEDIATELY AND RETURN ALL THE ANIMALS TO THE WILD.

190. >> THE APE?

191. >> RIGHT.

192. >> THE—AHEM—APE TOLD YOU THIS?

193. >> I KNOW IT SOUNDS CRAZY, BUT WE DON'T HAVE ANY TIME.

194. THE GRAND OPENING IS IN A FEW HOURS, AND WE HAVE TO GET

195. WORKING HERE.

196. YOU KNOW, MICHAEL SAID THERE WOULD BE GRAVE CONSEQUENCES TO

197. PAY IF WE DIDN'T DO WHAT HE SAID.

198. >> IS HE TALKING ABOUT A REAL ANIMAL?

199. WHO IS THIS NUT?

200. >> UH... I DON'T KNOW.

201. LET ME HANDLE THIS.

202. OK, MR. PETERS.

203. WE CAN SYMPATHIZE WITH MICHAEL DAVIDSON'S REQUEST HERE, BUT

204. UH... FINANCIALLY SPEAKING, WE'RE JUST TOO HEAVILY INVESTED TO

205. CLOSE DOWN THE PUBLIC ZOO RIGHT NOW.

206. >> I JUST WISH SOMEONE WOULD BELIEVE ME.

207. >> DON'T WORRY, TOM.

208. EVERYTHING WILL BE JUST FINE.

209. >> ATTENTION!

210. ATTENTION, EVERYBODY!

211. I'M ABOUT TO GO SPEAK TO THE APE, MICHAEL DAVIDSON.

212. SO NOBODY PANIC.

213. DON'T CALL SECURITY OR ANYTHING.

214. HE'S MY FRIEND, AND I HAVE TO GIVE HIM SOME BAD NEWS.

215. SO EVERYONE JUST PLEASE SIT BACK, RELAX, AND WATCH AS I NOW

216. PROCEED INSIDE THE CAGE TO APOLOGIZE ON BEHALF OF HUMANITY

217. AND MYSELF TO THIS NOBLE BEAST.

218. MICHAEL, KNOCK-KNOCK, HELLO!

219. IT'S TOM PETERS HERE.

220. >> >> AAH!

221. UNH!

222. UHH!

223. AAH!

224. OHH.

225. OH, MY LORD.

226. WHAT HAPPENED?

227. >> YOU WERE ATTACKED BY MICHAEL DAVIDSON, TOM.

228. >> WHAT?

229. I THOUGHT HE WAS MY FRIEND.

230. >> TAKE A LOOK AT THIS.

231. GENE, LOAD IT UP, PLEASE.

232. >> YEAH, RIGHT, THAT'S HIM, MICHAEL DAVIDSON.

233. SEE, I TOLD YOU I TALKED TO HIM.

234. >> GENE, BRING IT IN 200%, PLEASE.

235. >> A ZIPPER!

236. >> THAT'S RIGHT.

237. GENE, ANOTHER 400%.

238. >> FUSTERILLIO?

239. >> THAT'S NOT ALL, TOM.

240. GENE, PLAY BACK THE ANIMAL EXPERIENCE IN SLO-MO.

241. >> THAT'S A CLASSIC MOVE, THERE.

242. SEE, ALL YOU GOTTA DO IS SHAKE PEOPLE AROUND ENOUGH, AND ALL

243. THEIR LOOSE CHANGE FALLS OUT OF THEIR POCKETS AND IN THAT FUNNEL

244. THERE, SEE?

245. SO THEY CAN JUST COLLECT IT IN SOME SORT OF CHANGE BASKET.

246. >> REMEMBER THAT CHANGE I LOST?

247. >> MY SAND DOLLAR!

248. >> I BET HE'S MAKING ABOUT 20 BUCKS A WEEK ON THAT RACKET.

249. >> LET'S GET THIS SON OF A BUSTER, TOM.

250. >> THERE HE GOES.

251. >> AND NOW, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I'D LIKE TO REVEAL

252. THE TRUE IDENTITY OF THIS FILTHY ANIMAL.

253. >> >> THAT'S RIGHT, IT'S ME,

254. BERNIE FUSTERILLIO.

255. >> HUH.

256. I DON'T GET IT.

257. >> YOUR NEW ZOO WOULD HAVE RUINED ME.

258. THE CHANGE I WAS COLLECTING FROM ALL YOU SUCKERS AND YOUR LOOSE

259. POCKETS WAS MAKING ME TENS OF DOLLARS A MONTH!

260. I HAD TO DO SOMETHING.

261. AND IF IT WASN'T FOR YOU MEDDLING FOOLS, I WOULD HAVE

262. GOTTEN AWAY WITH IT, TOO.

263. BUT I HAVE ONE MORE SURPRISE UP MY SLEEVE.

264. >> >> MAYOR!

265. >> TOM, I'M SORRY.

266. I JUST LOVE THAT REAL LIVE INCREDIBLE ANIMAL EXPERIENCE SO

267. MUCH, I JUST COULDN'T LET IT GO DOWN THE TUBES.

268. >> WELL, I HAVE SOME NEWS FOR YOU.

269. >> >> IT WAS ME, BERNIE

270. FUSTERILLIO, ALL ALONG!

271. HA HA HA!

272. >> >> YOU'RE NOT TOM!

273. AAH!

274. >> MAYOR'S OFFICE.

275. >> WHERE THE HELL IS MY STEP-HUSBAND?

276. AAH!

277. [CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE

278. —www.ncicap.org—]