Tom Goes to the Mayor 2x10

Directed by

John C. Reilly as John (voice) • Brian Posehn as Gibbons (voice)

Tom meets a new pal from the Friendship Alliance website.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

Note: you must use specific languages with their specific pages/discord channels.

1. HI, I'M THE MAYOR, AND MY DOOR IS ALWAYS OPEN FOR YOU.

2. MY NAME IS TOM PETERS AND I'M FULL OF IDEAS.

3. HOW ARE YOU?

4. KNOCK, KNOCK HELLO.

5. YES, HOW CAN I HELP YOU?

6. WELL, UH, IT'S OFFICIAL.

7. UM, I'M A GRANDPOP.

8. FINE.

9. AND THESE ARE FOR YOU.

10. OH, THANK YOU, TOM.

11. WELL, TECHNICALLY, STEP GRANDPOP.

12. UH, ONE OF JOY'S OLDEST DAUGHTERS JUST GAVE BIRTH.

13. UH, WE'RE CALLING HER JOY MINDER PEPPER PETERS,

14. AFTER HER GRANDMAMA.

15. HERE'S A RECENT PICTURE.

16. OH, MY GOD, WHAT A BEAUTIFUL BABY.

17. WELL, SHE'S WHAT THEY CALL A WOLF CHILD.

18. RIGHT.

19. TROUBLE IS, I'M PRETTY ALLERGIC TO HER, YOU KNOW, UNFORTUNATELY.

20. UM, AND YOU ARE?

21. OH, IT'S TOM PETERS. HEY, TOM.

22. SOUNDS LIKE YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO UPDATE YOUR FRIENDSHIP ALLIANCE PROFILE.

23. UH, FR—FRIENDSHIP ALLIANCE?

24. LET ME JUST LOG IN HERE.

25. LET'S SEE HERE.

26. SINGLE, MARRIED, DIVORCED, GRANDPOP.

27. HERE WE GO, STEP GRANDPOP.

28. ALL RIGHT, ALL DONE.

29. NOW WE JUST PLAY THE WAITING GAME.

30. "HEY, TOM, I SAW YOUR PROFILE ON FRIENDSHIP ALLIANCE.

31. WHAT WAS I GONNA TELL YOU..."

32. OH, GIBBONS.

33. "WILL YOU ADD ME AS YOUR FRIEND?

34. COOL. CHECK YA LATER."

35. GIBBONS, YOU'RE ALREADY MY FRIEND, DUMMY.

36. OH, LOOK AT THAT.

37. "HI, TOM, YOU LOOK LIKE A SUPER FUN GUY."

38. COOL.

39. "LET'S MEET UP AND HANG OUT. HOW ABOUT SAUCEMAN'S AT 7:00?"

40. YOU HEAR THAT, LITTLE JOY? YOUR GRANDPOP-POP'S GOT A NEW FRIEND.

41. "HI, JOHN, CAN'T WAIT TO MEET YOU.

42. P.S. I LOVE SAUCEMAN'S."

43. WHERE DO YOU GO TO GET ALL THAT SAUCE?

44. SAUCEMAN'S!

45. BUT WHAT ABOUT THE MEAT? BRING YOUR OWN MEAT!

46. WHAT CAN I DO WITH MY MEAT?

47. DIP IT IN THE SAUCE! DIP IT IN THE SAUCE!

48. MMM.

49. THAT'S GREAT SAUCE.

50. OVER 1,000 DIPPING SAUCE COMBINATIONS.

51. AVAILABLE AT SAUCEMAN'S FAMILY SAUCE HOUSE STYLE

52. SAUCE HOUSE RESTAURANT.

53. MEAT NOT INCLUDED.

54. UH, JOHN? TOM?

55. GUILTY AS CHARGED.

56. HEY, TOMMY, TAKE A SEAT.

57. OH, THANKS, JOHN. I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND,

58. I BROUGHT SOME OF MY OWN MEAT FROM HOME.

59. WOW! TOM PETERS IN THE FLESH.

60. MAN, IT'S GREAT TO FINALLY MEET YOU.

61. BY THE WAY, NICE CALL WITH THESE SASHES.

62. WELL, THANK YOU, JOHN, I JUST THOUGHT IT WOULD BE

63. A NICE WAY TO SPOT EACH OTHER IN A CROWDED ROOM.

64. AND, UH, WHAT THE HECK?

65. IT'S NOT A BAD ICEBREAKER, EITHER, RIGHT?

66. YEAH. I MIGHT WEAR MINE ALL DAY.

67. AND IF YOU DON'T MIND ME SAYING SO,

68. YOU LOOK VERY DASHING IN IT AS WELL.

69. LIKE A COUPLE OF DRESSED-UP GENTLEMEN.

70. WHERE'S ME TOP HAT, TOMMY?

71. OH, BETTER GET MY WALKING STICK

72. AND MY WHITE SPATS.

73. HERE WE GO AGAIN!

74. OH, YOU KILL ME.

75. OH, MAN.

76. LOOK, I DON'T WANNA SOUND FORWARD OR ANYTHING,

77. BUT I THINK THIS IS GOING REALLY WELL.

78. I KNOW, I-I DIDN'T WANNA JINX IT OR ANYTHING,

79. BUT I THINK WE'RE REALLY HITTING IT OFF.

80. YOU KNOW WHAT?

81. I USUALLY DO THIS ALONE, BUT WHY DON'T YOU COME

82. DEER HUNTING WITH ME TONIGHT?

83. AH, SURE, I'D LOVE TO.

84. ACTUALLY, I KINDA FROWN ON HUNTING —

85. FROWN ON IT?

86. OH, NO, NO, I MEAN WHAT I MEANT TO SAY WAS, UH,

87. JOY AND THE BOYS ARE WITH THEIR STEP DAD THIS WEEKEND.

88. SO I'M LEFT BABYSITTING LITTLE JOY,

89. WHICH IS TOUGH ON ME ANYWAY, BUT DARN IT!

90. DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, BUDDY.

91. I DON'T KNOW WHY I RUSH THINGS.

92. YOU KNOW, I GO HUNTING EVERY NIGHT,

93. SO LET'S JUST GO TOMORROW NIGHT.

94. OH, THANKS, JOHN. THAT'S A LOAD OFF MY MIND.

95. AHEM.

96. OH, I GOT THIS, JOHN. NO, NO, I GOT IT.

97. NO, JOHN, PLEASE —

98. TOM, DID YOU HEAR WHAT I JUST SAID?

99. NO, I GOT IT.

100. NOW I BROUGHT THE MEAT, I'M PAYING FOR IT.

101. TOM, NO!

102. NO, NO, NO,

103. NO, NO, NO, NO!

104. OKAY?

105. WE'RE NEW FRIENDS, BUT BE COOL!

106. YEAH, KNOCK KNOCK.

107. MAYOR'S OFFICE. WHO'S THERE, PLEASE?

108. JUST TOM PETERS, CHECKING IN.

109. HEY, TOM.

110. I WANTED TO STOP BY AND DROP OFF THIS BALLOON BOUQUET,

111. JUST AS A THANK YOU

112. FOR SETTING ME UP WITH THE FRIENDSHIP ALLIANCE.

113. TOM, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. MY PLEASURE.

114. I ACTUALLY JUST MET A REALLY WONDERFUL MAN A FEW DAYS AGO.

115. PARDON MOI.

116. TOM PETERS PHONE. TOM, IT'S ME.

117. LISTEN, I'M IN BIG TROUBLE.

118. WHO IS THIS, JOHN?

119. YEAH, WHO DO YOU THINK IT IS?

120. MAYOR, IT'S MY NEW FRIEND JOHN CALLING.

121. SPEAK OF MY DEVIL. WHAT IS IT, JOHN?

122. WELL, I WAS OUT DEER HUNTING,

123. AND I SAW THIS SMALL CREATURE

124. ON TOP OF THIS DEER.

125. AND I WAS LIKE,

126. "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?"

127. SO, I TOOK AIM AT THAT LITTLE CRITTER

128. AND JUST BLEW HIM AWAY.

129. I THINK I'VE BEEN HIT BY A BUMBLEBEE.

130. WELL, I GET UP REAL CLOSE TO THE THING,

131. AND, TOM, I THINK IT'S A SMALL MAN.

132. SORTA, LIKE, CHILD-SIZED,

133. BUT IT HAD A BEARD.

134. A REALLY HORRIBLE-SMELLING BEARD.

135. OH, NO, GIBBONS.

136. WHAT'S THAT ABOUT GIBBONS?

137. NOW IT'S NOT BREATHING, AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!

138. MAN, I'M SORRY TO LAND THIS ON YOU, TOM,

139. BUT I AM FREAKING OUT HERE, MAN!

140. YOU DON'T SAY, JOHN. THAT'S SO FUNNY.

141. WHAT?

142. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? IT'S NOT FUNNY!

143. OH, YOU SILLY GOOSE, COME ON.

144. MEET ME AT MY HOUSE LATER, OKAY?

145. YOU'RE SO GREAT. BYE NOW.

146. WHAT WAS THAT ALL ABOUT?

147. NOTHING. JOHN WAS JUST TELLING ME A FUNNY STORY.

148. GREAT, I LOVE STORIES.

149. OH, MAN, I AM SO SCREWED!

150. ALL RIGHT, JUST RELAX, OKAY?

151. LET ME FIX YOU A WARM GLASS OF DIET ICED TEA.

152. I JUST GOT A NEW BOX OF POWDER, SO.

153. OKAY, NOW WHERE'S THAT CREATURE YOU SHOT?

154. I BURIED HIM. WHAT? HE'S DEAD?

155. I THINK SO. I DON'T KNOW! MAYBE.

156. PROBABLY NOT, THOUGH.

157. MAN, I'M FREAKING OUT AGAIN!

158. HOLD ON, BUDDY, WE CAN FIGURE THIS OUT.

159. YOU KNOW, THAT'S WHAT FRIENDS ARE FOR.

160. NOW JUST TELL ME, DID THIS MAN HAVE A BIG BUSHY BEARD

161. THAT KINDA SMELLED LIKE HORSE MANURE OR A DEAD ANIMAL?

162. YEAH.

163. YEAH, LIKE A GARBAGE CAN BEFORE YOU RINSE IT OUT.

164. HOW DID YOU KNOW? IT'S FRIEND, GIBBONS.

165. HE LOVES TO RIDE DEER AT NIGHT.

166. I'M GONNA MISS MY OLD FRIEND.

167. I'M SORRY, MAN.

168. HEY, GUYS.

169. MIND IF I POP IN?

170. JOHN, STOP IT!

171. COME ON, JOHN, PUT THE LAMP DOWN.

172. JOHN, THAT'S MY FRIEND YOU'RE HITTING!

173. JOHN, PLEASE STOP! JOHN!

174. OH, MY GOD! WHAT DID I DO?

175. I DID IT AGAIN!

176. OH, TOM, I'M SO SORRY.

177. ALL RIGHT, CALM DOWN. WE CAN FIX THIS.

178. WE JUST NEED TO GET HIM TO A HOSPITAL.

179. TOM, WE CAN'T!

180. THEY WILL KNOW I SHOT A MAN AND BURIED HIM ALIVE.

181. THEY'LL THROW ME AWAY FOR LIFE!

182. BUT HE'S BLEEDING, JOHN. TOM!

183. WE'RE BEST FRIENDS! IT'S GAME TIME!

184. NOW GRAB THE DUCT TAPE OUT OF MY BAG AND LET'S GO.

185. YOU HAVE ANY RAT NAP?

186. THIS OUGHT TO KEEP THE LITTLE BUGGER QUIET FOR A WHILE.

187. HERE, OPEN YOUR MOUTH. COME ON. HERE.

188. IT'S JUST BITTER FOR A SECOND.

189. JOHN, I REALLY DON'T THINK ANY OF THIS IS NECESSARY.

190. WE NEED TIME TO FIGURE THIS OUT.

191. IT'S THE ONLY WAY.

192. IT'S THE MAYOR! HE'S GONNA KNOW.

193. TOM, DON'T SAY A WORD. I'M WARNING YOU.

194. NO, JOHN, THIS HAS GONE TOO FAR.

195. THE MAYOR IS MY FRIEND, AND SO IS GIBBONS, FOR THAT MATTER.

196. CAN'T LET YOU DO THAT, FRIEND.

197. I TOLD YOU NO!

198. WHY DOESN'T ANYBODY LISTEN TO ME?

199. NOT IN FRONT OF MY STEP GRANDDAUGHTER, PLEASE.

200. UM, HELLO, WHO'S THERE, PLEASE?

201. WHAT DO YOU WANT?

202. WHERE IS THE MAN WHO LIVES HERE?

203. HE'S WALKING THE BABY.

204. I LOVE THAT LITTLE BABY.

205. HAVE YOU SEEN MY FRIEND GIBBONS?

206. HE MISSED JUMPING CLASS THIS MORNING.

207. I'M A LITTLE CONCERNED.

208. OH, NO, NO. LISTEN, YOU BETTER GO AWAY.

209. I HAVEN'T SEEN HIM.

210. IF YOU DO HEAR FROM THE GIBBS, PLEASE LET ME KNOW.

211. OH, OKAY.

212. OKAY, I'M GONNA GO TAKE A CRAP, SO I WON'T BE NEAR THE DOOR.

213. SO, YOU SHOULD PROBABLY LEAVE.

214. WHAT THE HECK IS —

215. OH, MY GOD, THAT'S GIBBONS' BEARD.

216. WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?

217. I TASTE RAT NAP ON MY LIPS.

218. I CAN'T FEEL MY LEGS.

219. I DON'T WANNA SOUND LIKE A MONKEY'S UNCLE HERE,

220. BUT MAYBE IF YOU WEREN'T RIDING AROUND ON THE TOP OF A DEER LAST NIGHT,

221. WE WOULDN'T BE IN THIS PICKLE JAR.

222. LITTLE JOY, SHUT YOUR HAIRY MOUTH, OKAY!

223. GIBBONS, ARE YOU IN THERE?

224. I SMELL YOU, GIBBONS.

225. YOU TWO, KEEP IT DOWN IN HERE.

226. WHAT?

227. EXCUSE ME, SIR, I THINK I SMELL MY FRIENDS' BEARD IN HERE.

228. NO, NO, I WAS JUST USING THE BATHROOM.

229. NO, NO, I CAN RECOGNIZE THAT STENCH ANYWHERE.

230. WELL, HE'S NOT HERE! SIR, PLEASE LET ME IN.

231. NO, I CAN'T — NO. BECAUSE I'M HOUSE SITTING, ALL RIGHT.

232. THEY TOLD ME DON'T LET ANYONE IN THE HOUSE.

233. GIBBONS!

234. OH, GIBBS. LET ME TAKE A LOOK AT YOU.

235. GIBBONS.

236. OH, MAN.

237. YOU LOOK JUST LIKE A LITTLE SNAPPER TURTLE.

238. OH, I MISS THAT BEARD SO MUCH.

239. LIGHTS OUT!

240. NO ONE LISTENS TO ME!

241. HAD TO COME IN THE DOOR.

242. HAD TO COME IN.

243. HAD TO KNOW!

244. OH, YEAH.

245. GIBBONS HAS TO PEE PEE.

246. SHOULD I JUST GO HERE,

247. OR DO YOU HAVE A PLACE WHERE YOU PUT IT?

248. JUST GO AHEAD AND PEE IN YOUR PANTS.

249. THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN DOING.

250. I'M SORRY, GUYS, THIS IS ALL MY FAULT.

251. MEETING MY NEW PAL ON FRIENDSHIP ALLIANCE

252. MADE BE FORGET ABOUT MY OLD FRIENDS.

253. RIGHT.

254. LISTEN, MAN, I'M SO SORRY THINGS TURNED OUT THIS WAY.

255. IT'S OKAY, JOHN. I UNDERSTAND, YOU KNOW.

256. SOMETIMES FRIENDSHIP CAN BE REAL HARD WORK.

257. OH, GOD.

258. THIS IS AWFUL. WHAT DID I DO?

259. WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO NOW?

260. I CAN'T CONTROL MYSELF.

261. I KNOW WHAT I WOULD DO IF I WERE IN YOUR BOOTS.

262. WHAT?

263. WELL, I'D GIVE US A CONCENTRATED DOSE OF RAT NAP.

264. WHAT THAT'S GONNA DO IS KNOCK US OUT FOR A COUPLE WEEKS.

265. AND THEN I WOULD PACK A BAG

266. AND GET THE HECK OUT OF TOWN.

267. ALL RIGHT, WHEN JOY GETS BACK IN A COUPLE WEEKS,

268. SHE CAN WAKE US UP WITH REVIVAL RAT.

269. I LOVE YOU, GIBBONS.

270. WHAT ABOUT YOUR STEP GRANDDAUGHTER?

271. WHO'S GONNA CARE FOR HER?

272. YOU REALLY WANNA BE A FRIEND?

273. YOU KNOW IT.

274. TAKE HER, JOHN. TAKE HER.

275. CAPTIONING PROVIDED BY TURNER STUDIOS