Tom Goes to the Mayor 1x11

Directed by

Sarah Silverman as Barb Dunderbarn (voice) • Mark Womack as Brandon (voice)

Tom starts a boy's health camp sponsored by Pipe's Buffet.

Request examples:

!req Tom Goes to the Mayor 1x11 [02:32]
!req Tom Goes to the Mayor 1x11 [Tom Goes to the Mayor 1x11]
Syntax: !req EPISODE [quote or timestamp] (max. 8 square brackets)

For quotes, now you can request by index (e.g !req Tom Goes to the Mayor 1x11 [10-11]; !req Tom Goes to the Mayor 1x11 [20] [24]). Keep in mind, though, that index numbers might change at any time.
You can also generate a copy command with the quotes. Hover the desired subtitle and enter the amount of lines you want to copy.

Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

Note: you must use specific languages with their specific pages/discord channels.

1. - UNH!

2. - HI. I'M THE MAYOR,

3. AND MY DOOR IS ALWAYS OPEN FOR YOUUUUU!

4. - MY NAME IS TOM PETERS, AND I'M FULL OF IDEAS.

5. - HI. HOW ARE YOU? - HA HA!

6. CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP

7. - UH, HEY, HON.

8. I'M TRYING TO GET THE BOYS READY FOR SCHOOL, BUT I THINK

9. THEY'RE PRETTY SICK.

10. - GAHHH... I LOVE MY EGGS AND SAUSAGE LINKS.

11. - UMMM, THE THING IS, THEY'RE NOT MOVING.

12. UH, THEY'RE JUST KINDA MOANING IN THERE.

13. UH, MAYBE IT WOULDN'T BE THE WORST IDEA IN THE WORLD TO

14. CALL A DOCTOR.

15. - HOW DARE YOU TELL ME HOW TO RAISE MY F—ING KIDS!

16. THEY CAME OUT OF MY!

17. - DAA. AHH, IT'S TOM... UH... PETERS.

18. ANYONE THE HECK HOME?

19. - MAYOR'S OFFICE!

20. - HELLO?

21. - HEY, TOM. COME ON UP.

22. - MAYOR'S OFFICE!

23. - OH, IT'S, UH, TOM PETERS.

24. - HEY, TOM. I JUST ORDERED A COUPLE BRISKETS.

25. CARE FOR A PIPE SMOKE?

26. - OH, ME? NO.

27. I'M ALLERGIC TO, UH, TOBACCO SMOKE.

28. WELL, I DON'T WANT TO TAKE UP YOUR WHOLE DAY, BUT OUR FAMILY

29. JUST DID HAVE SOME BAD NEWS.

30. ALL THREE OF MY STEPSONS HAVE HAD HEART ATTACKS.

31. SO I THOUGHT IT MIGHT NOT BE A HALF BAD IDEA TO, YOU KNOW,

32. START A HEALTH CAMP FOR BOYS.

33. - GREAT TOM. NOW TRY MY FATTY LOIN.

34. - NOT TO BE MY DEVIL'S ADVOCATE HERE, BUT THAT'S

35. EXACTLY THE KIND OF FOOD WE'RE ARE TRYING TO STRAY AWAY FROM.

36. - OH. MM-HMM.

37. - YOU KNOW, WE'LL HAVE MORE HEALTH-BASED FOODS, UH,

38. YOU KNOW, OUTDOOR ACTIVITIES LIKE CANOEING AND AEROBICS,

39. YOU KNOW, JUST LIKE A GOOD OLD-FASHIONED BOYS CAMP.

40. - YEAH! WE CAN EVEN GET PIPE'S BUFFET INVOLVED.

41. - OH, OK.

42. - YOU KNOW, THEY'VE BEEN BUGGING ME ABOUT GETTING INTO

43. SOME OUTREACH PROGRAMS FOR CHILDREN.

44. - OH, I GUESS IT WOULD DEPEND.

45. HONESTLY, IT DOESN'T SEEM LIKE THE GREATEST IDEA

46. IN THE WORLD.

47. I GUESS I CAN SEE YOUR POINT.

48. WE DON'T WANT THOSE KIDS SMOKING PIPES.

49. ACTUALLY, I'M STARTING TO, UH, LOVE THIS IDEA.

50. - ON BEHALF OF PIPE'S BUFFET, I WOULD LIKE TO PRESENT

51. TOM PETERS WITH THIS ENORMOUS CHECK TO BEGIN FUNDING YOUR

52. HEALTH CAMP FOR BOYS.

53. - NO PIPES, RIGHT?

54. - FURTHERMORE, WE PLEDGE THAT THERE WILL BE ABSOLUTELY NO

55. PIPE SMOKING OF ANY KIND IN REGARDS TO THE CHILDREN.

56. - HEY, GREAT. LARGE CHECK.

57. - PIPE CAMP? SON OF A GUMBLE!

58. - HEY, TOM!

59. - OH, HEY, MAYOR.

60. UH... NEAT SCOOTER. IS IT NEW?

61. - HOLD A SEC, TAMMIE!

62. THANKS, TOM. IT'S FROM PIPE'S BUFFET.

63. WOW, LOOK AT THIS PLACE. ITS GREAT.

64. - WHAT'S WITH ALL THE PIPES?

65. - PROBABLY JUST FOR DESIGN, TOM.

66. - HEY, WHAT ARE THEY GIVING TO THOSE KIDS OVER THERE?

67. THAT'S IT. I'M CALLING THE AUTHORITIES.

68. - OH LOOK, THERE'S BARB!

69. - OH, SHE'S, SHE'S BEAUTIFUL.

70. - TOM, I WANT YOU TO MEET

71. BARB DUNDERBARN FROM PIPE'S BUFFET.

72. SHE'S GOING TO BE OUR HEAD CAMP COUNSELOR.

73. - OH. NICE TO MEET YOU.

74. THIS, UH, HEALTH CAMP FOR BOYS... WAS MY IDEA!

75. - OH, TOM, I AM SO IMPRESSED.

76. AND YOU ARE DELICIOUS.

77. MAYOR, WHERE DID YOU FIND HIM?

78. OH, STOP.

79. I'VE BEEN REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO WORKING WITH YOU TO

80. GET THOSE BOYS IN SHAPE.

81. - I TOOK A LOOK AT THIS SCHEDULE OF EVENTS YOU WROTE

82. UP, AND I HAVE A FEW MINOR TWEAKS WE'RE GOING TO

83. HAVE TO MAKE.

84. IS THAT OK, SWEETIE?

85. - OH, OK. IN TERMS OF...?

86. - MAYBE WE CAN TALK ABOUT IT TONIGHT OVER SOME SORT OF...

87. I DON'T KNOW... ROMANTIC CANDLELIGHT DINNER?

88. - ROMANTIC?

89. OK, WELL, UH, TO BE HONEST WITH YOU, THE THING IS...

90. - WELL, THEN IT'S A DATE, YOU YUMMY MAN.

91. - OK, BOYS, TIME TO GET IN SHAPE, SO LET'S DO

92. SOME AEROBICS!

93. HANDS UP! LIFT THEM UP!

94. LIFT THEM UP! AND 2, 3, 4, 5!

95. 2, 3, 4, 5!

96. C'MON, EVERYBODY, WHAT'S WRONG?

97. C'MON, JAKE, LET'S DO IT.

98. C'MON! UP, UP, UP, UP!

99. C'MON, MOVE THOSE HIPS. LET'S DO IT.

100. WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU GUYS?

101. OH, WHAT A BUNCH OF POTATO SACKS.

102. - HEY, TOM. THERE YOU ARE.

103. - HEY, MAYOR.

104. LISTEN, I GOT ALL MY VEGGIES HERE.

105. WHERE SHOULD I LAY 'EM?

106. - OH, DON'T WORRY ABOUT THAT. BARB CUT MOST OF YOUR MENU.

107. LOOK WHAT WE HAVE HERE TODAY.

108. WE HAVE A LITTLE BEEF BRISKET, SOME FATTY GOAT SHOULDER,

109. STUFFED PORK HOCKS, AND SOME BUTTERCREAM BIRD LEGS.

110. - MAYOR, THIS IS A HEALTH CAMP.

111. THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE.

112. I'VE GOTTA CALL SOMEBODY.

113. - OH TOM, BARB WANTED ME TO GIVE YOU THESE.

114. - OH, SUNGLASSES! COOL!

115. - I THINK SHE LIKES YOU.

116. - MAYOR, I'M A MARRIED MAN.

117. - TOM WE'RE AT PIPE CAMP. LIVE A LITTLE.

118. - YOU LOOK VERY PRETTY TONIGHT.

119. - NO! - YOU MAKE ME BLUSH, TOM.

120. YOU DON'T MIND IF I PIPE UP A LITTLE, TOM, DO YOU?

121. - NO, GO AHEAD. DON'T MIND ME.

122. - I JUST NOTICED YOUR HAIR! OH, MY GOD, I'M IN LOVE.

123. LET ME TOUCH IT. CAN I TOUCH IT, TOM?

124. OH, LORDY, I JUST ROWR! I LOVE IT.

125. IT MAKES ME FEEL ALL LIKE NIPPLEY.

126. - OH, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

127. IT'S, UH, JUST A MAN'S SPIKE.

128. WHAT I DO IS CREATE A SEMI-CIRCLE OF THE MOUSSE IN MY HAND—

129. - SHHH, TOM.

130. I KNOW YOU'RE A LITTLE SKEPTICAL ABOUT SOME OF OUR

131. NEW PROGRAMS HERE.

132. - NO. I'M JUST NOT 100% SURE THAT KIDS SHOULD BE

133. MESSING AROUND WITH PIPES.

134. - TOM, WE HAVE TO LOOK PAST THE FACT

135. THAT THEY'RE CHILDREN.

136. WE HAVE TO LOOK AT IT FROM THE PIPE'S BUFFET POINT OF VIEW.

137. TOM, DID YOU KNOW THAT THE AVERAGE AGE OF A PIPE'S BUFFET

138. CUSTOMER IS 73 YEARS OLD?

139. - WOW. WHAT A STAT.

140. - SEE THOSE KIDS OUT THERE, TOM?

141. THEY'RE OUR FUTURE.

142. - FOLKS, AMERICA AIN'T GETTING ANY YOUNGER.

143. SO WHY DON'T YOU LEND A HAND AND TEACH YOUR YOUNG-UNS

144. ABOUT WHAT MATTERS MOST?

145. YOU KNOW, THERE'S NOTHING MORE PATRIOTIC THAN THE SAVORY

146. FLAVORS OF GRANDMA'S HOME-COOKED FATTY MEATS.

147. AND, OF COURSE, THAT OLD FAMILIAR SMELL OF GRANDPA'S

148. TABACCY PIPE.

149. MMMM! SMELLS LIKE AMERICA TO ME.

150. - BROUGHT TO YOU BY YOUR FRIENDS AT PIPES BUFFET.

151. - OH, NO. HOW DID THAT GET IN THERE?

152. - AH!

153. - NOW, LET'S TALK ABOUT US.

154. COME OVER HERE AND GET YOUR GRAVY POT BOTTOM.

155. - WAIT, BARB. THIS IS ALL HAPPENING VERY FAST.

156. I NEED TIME TO PROCESS SOME OF MY FEELINGS HERE.

157. - OK, TOM, BUT DON'T THINK TOO HARD.

158. - AAH!

159. WONDER WHERE ALL THE KIDS ARE.

160. AHHH!

161. OH, BARB.

162. OH.

163. MMM.

164. OH, HI, FRIEND.

165. I CAN'T TALK RIGHT NOW. I'M PRETTY BUSY.

166. YES, FRIEND, I KNOW.

167. WELL, OF COURSE I LOVE MY WIFE, FRIEND.

168. WAIT A MINUTE. WOULD YOU JUST GET OUT OF HERE?

169. GO ON, GET.

170. WHAT THE HECK?

171. PIPE SMOKE!

172. - WHAT THE HARRY?

173. - OH, BARB, HOW COULD YOU?

174. - VERY GOOD, MIKEY.

175. IT'S IMPORTANT TO GET A GOOD BURN GOING, SO DON'T BE AFRAID

176. TO HOLD THE FLAME OVER THE TOBACCO FOR... UM,

177. A GOOD MINUTE.

178. GREAT PIPEMANSHIP, ANTHONY. GOOD BOY.

179. NOW, I WANT EVERYONE TO THINK ABOUT WHAT KIND OF ROASTED

180. MEAT WOULD COMPLEMENT YOUR TOBACCO BLEND.

181. - I HATE THIS CAMP. I WANNA GO HOOOOME!

182. - RED BOTTOMS. - SAUSAGE LINKS.

183. - NOOOOO!

184. - WHAT'S HAPPENING?

185. - SKYLER RESIDENCE.

186. - WHO IS IT, JAN?

187. - I AM TRYING TO FIGURE THAT OUT.

188. NOW, WOULD YOU JUST GO BACK TO SLEEP?

189. - SKYLER RESIDENCE. WHO AM I SPEAKING WITH?

190. - IT'S TOM PETERS.

191. I NEED TO REPORT A CRIME AGAINST CHILDREN.

192. - WELL, WE'RE NOT IN OUR OFFICE RIGHT NOW,

193. BUT WE'LL BE THERE IN A FEW HOURS.

194. - BUT IT'S PIPE CAMP. THEY'RE, UH... THEY'RE, UH...

195. - WHAT ARE YOU DOING, TOM?

196. - UH, NOTHING.

197. I WAS JUST CHECKING MY VOICEMAIL MESSAGES—

198. - TOMMY, I KNOW YOU SAW US BACK THERE.

199. I KNOW YOU KNOW.

200. LET'S GO BACK TO MY CABIN AND YOU CAN

201. TELL ME WHAT A BIG BAD GIRL I'VE BEEN.

202. AND YOU CAN GIVE ME ONE OF YOUR FAMOUS RED BOTTOMS.

203. - OH, BOY.

204. ATTENTION!

205. THIS IS A RAID.

206. STAY IN YOUR CABINS.

207. YOU ARE IN BREACH OF SECTION 8,

208. DISTRIBUTING TOBACCO TO MINORS.

209. - SORRY, SPANKY! I'LL E-MAIL YOU!

210. - TOM! LET'S GET OUT OF HERE!

211. - WAIT! WAIT!

212. TOO MUCH TOBACCO AND... SEXUALITY.

213. - SON, SHUT YOUR MOUTH AND STAND DOWN.

214. - WHAT? - JUST GET ME ONE CLEAN SHOT.

215. - NO, YOU GOT THE WRONG MAN!

216. IT WAS BARB DUNDERBARN AND THE MAYOR.

217. - WE'VE GOT A LIVE ONE.

218. - NOOOO!

219. NOOO!

220. MAY I... MAY I COME IN?

221. - COME ON IN. WHAT'S THAT BEEPING?

222. - OH, IT'S MY TRACKING BOOT.

223. I'M ON HOUSE ARREST. I'M PRACTICALLY OUT OF RANGE.

224. I WISH WE COULD HAVE MET A LITTLE CLOSER TO MY HOUSE.

225. - WELL, I JUST WANTED TO GIVE YOU

226. THESE SYMPATHY FLOWERS FOR GETTING YOU WRAPPED UP IN THAT

227. WHOLE PIPE CAMP FIASCO.

228. - OH, THANKS.

229. IT WAS JUST ANOTHER EXPERIENCE.

230. - THANKS TO ALL OF THE PUBLICITY SURROUNDING YOUR TRIAL,

231. PIPE'S HAS INSTALLED THIS WONDERFUL

232. DUMBWAITER HERE.

233. NO MORE STAIR CLIMBING FOR MY BRISKETS.

234. COME OVER HERE. TAKE A LOOK.

235. - WELL, I REALLY SHOULDN'T.

236. GETTING PRETTY CLOSE TO BEING OUT OF RANGE.

237. - COME ON, TOM, HAVE A BITE OF MY BRISKET.

238. HAVE SOME OF MY LOIN...

239. - WELL, IT DOES SMELL PARTICULARLY GOOD.

240. LET ME JUST CHECK MY CHART HERE.

241. - TOM, ITS REAL MOIST AND BRAISED.

242. LIP-SMACKING GOOD, TOM.

243. UHH...

244. HMM, NEVER HEARD IT DO THAT BEFORE.

245. YOU KNOW, I WONDER IF— NHH UHH NH!

246. HUH! NH NYA AH UH UH AH!

247. NYA!

248. CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP

249. CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE —www.ncicap.org—