1. Up periscope.Copy !req
2. Down periscope.Copy !req
3. - Hi, Steven.Copy !req
4. This is Clem Fandango.Copy !req
5. What, the work experience boy?Copy !req
6. Yeah, can you hear me, Steven?Copy !req
7. Yeah, I can hear
you, Clem Fandango.Copy !req
8. Where's that other prick?Copy !req
9. Danny?Copy !req
10. He's DJing at a music
festival this weekend.Copy !req
11. Yeah, just to be clear,Copy !req
12. so these'll be heard on every
submarine in the Royal Navy?Copy !req
13. Yeah, they're just automatingCopy !req
14. and digitising
everything, you know.Copy !req
15. The commander presses a button,Copy !req
16. and the recording of your voice
will be heard immediately.Copy !req
17. Yeah, I'm not
interested in all that.Copy !req
18. Can we just crack on?Copy !req
19. Fire the nuclear weapons!Copy !req
20. - Steven, that was good,Copy !req
21. but do you think you
could give it another try?Copy !req
22. This time, say it in
a less alarming way.Copy !req
23. Less alarming?Copy !req
24. I've just given the order
to fire the nuclear weapons.Copy !req
25. I've just unleashed Armageddon!Copy !req
26. Yes, but the feeling hereCopy !req
27. is that you could do it in a wayCopy !req
28. which is a little less dramatic.Copy !req
29. It's just a little bit
over the top at the moment.Copy !req
30. Have fun with it.Copy !req
31. Fire the nuclear weapons!Copy !req
32. That was a little bit
too far the other way,Copy !req
33. a bit too, um, jolly.Copy !req
34. You know, why don't you just
try it a few more times?Copy !req
35. Fire the nuclear weapons!Copy !req
36. Fire the nuclear weapons!Copy !req
37. Fire the nuclear weapons?Copy !req
38. Fire the nuclear weapons!Copy !req
39. Fire the nuclear weapons!Copy !req
40. Do you wanna move on to
the next one, Steven?Copy !req
41. We can come back to that later.Copy !req
42. Abandon the vessel immediately.Copy !req
43. So, they put the lot of
them out in the fieldCopy !req
44. and they started eating grass.Copy !req
45. Sorry, Ed, I don't understand.Copy !req
46. You don't eat
grass, you smoke it.Copy !req
47. Not if you're a cow.Copy !req
48. Oh, sorry.Copy !req
49. I thought you were talking
about the Rolling Stones.Copy !req
50. No.Copy !req
51. Day off, Toast?Copy !req
52. Yes, I'm meeting
Portia de Coogan.Copy !req
53. - The nurse?
- Yep.Copy !req
54. Strange career choiceCopy !req
55. for the daughter of
Lord Fotheringham.Copy !req
56. - Who's he?
- He's very close to Cameron.Copy !req
57. Looks in line for a top jobCopy !req
58. at the next Cabinet reshuffle.Copy !req
59. He's come a long way since beingCopy !req
60. a producer at Radio
1 in the '70s.Copy !req
61. Portia's definitely my type.Copy !req
62. We have exactly the
same sense of humour.Copy !req
63. I told her a joke last week.Copy !req
64. She found it extremely amusing!Copy !req
65. Did she laugh heartily?Copy !req
66. No.Copy !req
67. She doesn't show any
external signs of enjoyment.Copy !req
68. But I know she
finds me very funnyCopy !req
69. and great company.Copy !req
70. Whoa, Ed, that's really loud!Copy !req
71. How do you think
Iain Duncan Smith'sCopy !req
72. doing at Work and Pensions?Copy !req
73. Sorry, Toast.Copy !req
74. I shouldn't talk politics
at the breakfast table.Copy !req
75. You know, I met Thatcher
once at Lionel Blair's house.Copy !req
76. Surprised to see her
drink Heineken from a can.Copy !req
77. You know, when I started
courting my wife,Copy !req
78. she used to dress
up as Mrs Thatcher.Copy !req
79. - The blue twinset.Copy !req
80. Slowly undoing her
buttons to revealCopy !req
81. no-nonsense M&S underwear.Copy !req
82. Hm.Copy !req
83. Yours truly relishing the
role of the blimpish Denis,Copy !req
84. obeying her every command.Copy !req
85. Ever interested in
anything like that, Toast?Copy !req
86. - Powerful women?
- Mm.Copy !req
87. Maybe in uniform?Copy !req
88. You all right, Toast?Copy !req
89. Sorry, Ed, I must have
drifted off there.Copy !req
90. Toast, I'm a little
uncomfortable here.Copy !req
91. I don't think I should be
wearing my nurse's uniform.Copy !req
92. - But you're a nurse.
- Yes, but...Copy !req
93. And you've just come
off the night shift.Copy !req
94. I should have gone
home and changed.Copy !req
95. No!Copy !req
96. That would have been a
massive waste of time.Copy !req
97. Look, we'll have a
couple of drinks here,Copy !req
98. then maybe go and see a film.Copy !req
99. How about a comedy?Copy !req
100. I love to laugh.Copy !req
101. Toast, I've been
meaning to talk to you.Copy !req
102. - You're talking to me now.
- Yes.Copy !req
103. It's about the sense
of humour issue.Copy !req
104. I have a terrific
sense of humour.Copy !req
105. It's just very dry.Copy !req
106. Often mistaken for having
no sense of humour at all,Copy !req
107. much like MandelsonCopy !req
108. or Nigel Mansell.Copy !req
109. - Who?
- Same as my father before me.Copy !req
110. And my aunts.Copy !req
111. You know, my family were
known as the dry Toasts.Copy !req
112. Really?Copy !req
113. Ellen, my soon to be ex-wife,Copy !req
114. thought I literally couldn't
see the funny side of anything.Copy !req
115. She's quite wrong.Copy !req
116. It's just very, very dry.Copy !req
117. I think it's about
time you met my father.Copy !req
118. - He has the mostCopy !req
119. wonderful sense of humour,Copy !req
120. and it's very important
that you laugh at his jokes.Copy !req
121. But you may not be able to tellCopy !req
122. what is a joke and what isn't.Copy !req
123. Well, maybe if you tell me
what his jokes were beforehand,Copy !req
124. then I'd know when to laugh.Copy !req
125. Well, Father doesn't
write actual jokesCopy !req
126. for his conversations.Copy !req
127. He tends to be more spontaneous.Copy !req
128. He just may make, for example,Copy !req
129. well, an off-the-cuff
remark about Boris Johnson,Copy !req
130. and you'll have to laugh at it.Copy !req
131. Okay.Copy !req
132. So, he mentions Boris JohnsonCopy !req
133. - and I'll laugh.
- No.Copy !req
134. But he may mention Boris JohnsonCopy !req
135. not in the context of a joke.Copy !req
136. Well, how's that possible?Copy !req
137. Listen.Copy !req
138. I have a friend of a friend.Copy !req
139. - Mm-hm?
- He's a stand-up comedianCopy !req
140. - called Russell House.Copy !req
141. In order for us to
keep seeing each other,Copy !req
142. you need to be a little funnier.Copy !req
143. I asked Russell to email
me some funny linesCopy !req
144. and amusing quips that
you could try out.Copy !req
145. "I'm going up to
Edinburgh next month.Copy !req
146. I've been so busy.Copy !req
147. But I think there's
some good stuff here."Copy !req
148. Yeah, I could try
something like that.Copy !req
149. Anything with a Scots reference
is usually quite funny.Copy !req
150. No, no, that's just the first
line of the email to me.Copy !req
151. That's not a joke.Copy !req
152. Did you think that was a joke?Copy !req
153. No.Copy !req
154. Toast.Copy !req
155. Dubbing request just in.Copy !req
156. Bloody hell, Jane!Copy !req
157. It's my day off!Copy !req
158. They just need you to
do some more voice-oversCopy !req
159. for the nuclear submarine.Copy !req
160. I thought I'd finished all thatCopy !req
161. "up periscope, down
periscope" jazz.Copy !req
162. They just need a few additions.Copy !req
163. They are paying you
handsomely for this, Toast.Copy !req
164. It's the Ministry of Defence.Copy !req
165. Cobra, to be precise.Copy !req
166. One doesn't say no to Cobra.Copy !req
167. Well, how long will I be there?Copy !req
168. Oh, they're complete
perfectionists, the Royal Navy.Copy !req
169. I'd say aboutCopy !req
170. three and a half hours.Copy !req
171. - Mm.Copy !req
172. Oh, God.Copy !req
173. Yes, please.Copy !req
174. Bloody hell.Copy !req
175. Stay where you are,
Portia de Coogan.Copy !req
176. I'll be right back.Copy !req
177. Well, how long will you be?Copy !req
178. Three and a half hours.Copy !req
179. Okay, Steven, thanks for coming
in at such a short notice.Copy !req
180. Really appreciate it.Copy !req
181. You ready to go?Copy !req
182. In your own time.Copy !req
183. Disem bark.Copy !req
184. Sorry, I'll do that again.Copy !req
185. No, that's fine.Copy !req
186. - What?
- That's fine, Steven,Copy !req
187. you got it in one.Copy !req
188. I coughed halfway through it.Copy !req
189. Didn't notice anything. I...Copy !req
190. That's perfect, Steven.Copy !req
191. We've got all the voice-overs.Copy !req
192. Now you're free to go.Copy !req
193. What, so that's it?Copy !req
194. Well, they told me I'd be here
for three and a half hours.Copy !req
195. I broke into a
romantic date for this.Copy !req
196. I could be in the cinema
laughing my arse off!Copy !req
197. Well, you're free now, Steven.Copy !req
198. That's all we need.Copy !req
199. Yeah?Copy !req
200. Well, fuck you three!Copy !req
201. Steven!Copy !req
202. Blair, what the hell
are you doing here?Copy !req
203. Is that a new hand?Copy !req
204. Oh, yes, usual
one's getting fixed.Copy !req
205. Toby told me you were doingCopy !req
206. more voice-overs
for the submarine.Copy !req
207. Called the studio.Copy !req
208. They said you'd be here.Copy !req
209. What's that got to do with you?Copy !req
210. And who the hell is Toby?Copy !req
211. Do you mean the vice
commander of the sub,Copy !req
212. second in charge?Copy !req
213. The Navy is his whole life.Copy !req
214. He's the complete
opposite of the kind ofCopy !req
215. pinko long-hairs you run with.Copy !req
216. He's immensely proud
of this submarine.Copy !req
217. She's been completely
refurbished.Copy !req
218. Almost everything
is run by computers.Copy !req
219. The only thing they
physically have to doCopy !req
220. is put out the rubbish
when they dock in port.Copy !req
221. So, who's the new commander?Copy !req
222. - What?
- Who's the new commander?Copy !req
223. I'm Commander
Susan Scott-Gorham.Copy !req
224. Is one of you
gentlemen Steven Toast?Copy !req
225. I am the Steven Toast
that you require.Copy !req
226. - This is my brother Blair.Copy !req
227. Well, I wanted to let you knowCopy !req
228. how much we appreciate your
voice-over work on this.Copy !req
229. Well, it's very
good of you to come.Copy !req
230. We're all very proud of our
newly refurbished submarine,Copy !req
231. the Penetrator.Copy !req
232. Penetrator?Copy !req
233. Mm, that's a great name.Copy !req
234. Surprised it hasn't
been taken already.Copy !req
235. In Equity, there was another
actor called Steven Toast,Copy !req
236. so he had to change his
name to Chris Bread.Copy !req
237. - Crisp Bread?
- No, Chris Bread.Copy !req
238. Should have been you
who changed your name.Copy !req
239. The disgrace!Copy !req
240. A Toast in the acting game.Copy !req
241. You must come to the relaunch.Copy !req
242. It's tomorrow afternoon.Copy !req
243. Steven is in a play
here in London.Copy !req
244. I'm afraid he won't be able to.Copy !req
245. I'd love to.Copy !req
246. The Duke and Duchess of
Cambridge will be in attendance.Copy !req
247. Do you know them?Copy !req
248. I'm afraid I don't know
any of the minor royals.Copy !req
249. The Duke and
Duchess of CambridgeCopy !req
250. are Prince William
and Kate Middleton.Copy !req
251. Oh, yes, by, by minor royals,Copy !req
252. I meant royals that
aren't the Queen.Copy !req
253. Well, I hope you both can come.Copy !req
254. Good day, gentlemen.Copy !req
255. Can you believe
someone like thatCopy !req
256. is commanding a royal submarine?Copy !req
257. You know, a strumpet like thatCopy !req
258. can just waltz in,
get the top job.Copy !req
259. It's your lot at the Guardian.Copy !req
260. Political correctness
gone off the bloody scale!Copy !req
261. She seems perfectly
capable to me.Copy !req
262. A girl in charge
of our nuclear sub?Copy !req
263. Might as well hand it over
to the Monty Python team!Copy !req
264. Who?Copy !req
265. Oh, I haven't got
time to sit hereCopy !req
266. talking nonsense with
you in this bugger house!Copy !req
267. I'm off!Copy !req
268. Oh, God.Copy !req
269. Ah.Copy !req
270. You'd forgotten your hat.Copy !req
271. Shit.Copy !req
272. Ah, there she is.Copy !req
273. - Oh, God.
- Cocoa time.Copy !req
274. Yeah, just put it there, Ed.Copy !req
275. Ah.Copy !req
276. Letter came for you.Copy !req
277. I put it downstairs
on the table.Copy !req
278. Yes, I got it.Copy !req
279. Nice royalty cheque
from that TV miniseriesCopy !req
280. I did a few years ago.Copy !req
281. Which?Copy !req
282. The prequel to
Brideshead Revisited.Copy !req
283. Oh, yes, what was that called?Copy !req
284. Brideshead.Copy !req
285. Of course.Copy !req
286. So, how are you
getting on with Portia?Copy !req
287. She wants me to meet her father.Copy !req
288. Apparently the old bugger'sCopy !req
289. got some fondness for jokes,Copy !req
290. and Portia's very keen that
I'm amusing in his company.Copy !req
291. So, you need some jokes, do you?Copy !req
292. Well, not jokes as such.Copy !req
293. Well, maybe little things to sayCopy !req
294. so that people think you're fun.Copy !req
295. Well, such as?Copy !req
296. Well, you know, simple
phrases taxi drivers use.Copy !req
297. Like, "I believe you,
thousands wouldn't."Copy !req
298. Um, "What can I do you for?"Copy !req
299. as opposed to "What
can I do for you?"Copy !req
300. - No.
- Don't give up the day job.Copy !req
301. That's very useful when you...Copy !req
302. No, Ed.Copy !req
303. They're not jokes as such.Copy !req
304. They're just little
things to say.Copy !req
305. Yes, probably fine in
the hands of taxi driversCopy !req
306. or Cockneys or even Geordies.Copy !req
307. But if I was to say
anything like that,Copy !req
308. people would think I
was fucking crackers.Copy !req
309. Or maybe you could
try something like,Copy !req
310. when somebody says to you,Copy !req
311. "Didn't I see you on
telly last night?"Copy !req
312. You say, "I hope it
wasn't Crimewatch."Copy !req
313. I don't get it.Copy !req
314. When someone says, "Didn't I
see you on telly last night?"Copy !req
315. And then you say, "I hope
it wasn't Crimewatch UK,"Copy !req
316. - and they say...
- No, just Crimewatch.Copy !req
317. The UK ruins it
'cause the rhythm...Copy !req
318. Yeah, don't waste your time, Ed.Copy !req
319. It's not gonna work.Copy !req
320. Sleep well, Toast.Copy !req
321. Have you actually
seen the royal couple?Copy !req
322. - William and Kate?
- Mm.Copy !req
323. Yes, I was just
chatting to them.Copy !req
324. It transpires that none of usCopy !req
325. has ever had to
change a duvet cover.Copy !req
326. Ah! Ha!Copy !req
327. Well, of course, Toby is
related to the happy couple.Copy !req
328. On the, er, right
side, I should add.Copy !req
329. My father is the
Queen's fifth cousin.Copy !req
330. Wonderful.Copy !req
331. Drink, Toby?Copy !req
332. No, I'm sorry to be
frightfully boring, but, er,Copy !req
333. still on duty.Copy !req
334. Better not.Copy !req
335. Yeah, yeah, course, course.Copy !req
336. Anyone seen the
commander around?Copy !req
337. Actually I haven't
seen her today, no.Copy !req
338. Excuse me a few moments.Copy !req
339. I have some things
to take care of.Copy !req
340. Yes, yes, of course.Copy !req
341. Why the hell did you
mention that bloody woman?Copy !req
342. Must be killing him
that a tart like herCopy !req
343. should be in charge of
this magnificent vessel.Copy !req
344. Of course, if he was an
Afro-Caribbean lesbianCopy !req
345. running the Notting
Hill Carnival,Copy !req
346. he'd be in charge of the
entire bloody Navy by now.Copy !req
347. Do you know, I've never
been on a submarine before?Copy !req
348. I might go for a
bit of a wander.Copy !req
349. Might bump into the commander.Copy !req
350. Don't stray into any
unauthorised areas.Copy !req
351. Hm.Copy !req
352. Ooh.Copy !req
353. - Toast!Copy !req
354. I'm surprised to see you here.Copy !req
355. I did the voice-over for
the submarine, remember.Copy !req
356. Oh, yes.Copy !req
357. Well, this is my father,
Lord Fotheringham.Copy !req
358. Father, this is Steven Toast!Copy !req
359. Sorry?Copy !req
360. Mm, low grumble...Copy !req
361. What's that?Copy !req
362. It's just a low grumble.Copy !req
363. Ah.Copy !req
364. Er, it's nice to
meet you at last.Copy !req
365. Erm, Portia tells me you have
a terrific sense of humour.Copy !req
366. Much like myself.Copy !req
367. What are you doing in an
unauthorised area?Copy !req
368. Hm, well, I might ask
you the same question.Copy !req
369. I'm the Minister of Defence.Copy !req
370. Really?Copy !req
371. There was a reshuffle
this morning.Copy !req
372. Is Duncan Smith still
at Work and Pensions?Copy !req
373. Hm
low grumble.Copy !req
374. How about Boris Johnson
for the top job?Copy !req
375. I said, Boris Johnson.Copy !req
376. I have to leave now.Copy !req
377. Yes.Copy !req
378. Father is giving a speech.Copy !req
379. Are you coming?Copy !req
380. Is that the commander's hat?Copy !req
381. Er, yes.Copy !req
382. She must have dropped it.Copy !req
383. She's around here somewhere.Copy !req
384. Grumble grumble.Copy !req
385. What the hell are
you up to, Toast?Copy !req
386. - Steven?Copy !req
387. Oh, you haven't seen
the commander, have you?Copy !req
388. I wonder, could I
have a quick word?Copy !req
389. Something I want to
talk to you about.Copy !req
390. Won't take a second.Copy !req
391. This way.Copy !req
392. Care for a brandy?Copy !req
393. A brandy?Copy !req
394. Er, yes, please.Copy !req
395. You're not having one yourself?Copy !req
396. - Still on duty.
- Oh, of course.Copy !req
397. Bottoms up!Copy !req
398. So, Blair tells me
you're in show business.Copy !req
399. Well, yes, I'm an actor.Copy !req
400. Well, the Navy must
seem frightfully stuffyCopy !req
401. for someone who's used to
hanging around with people likeCopy !req
402. Benedict Cumberbatch.Copy !req
403. - Who?
- Listen,Copy !req
404. there aren't too many
people in the NavyCopy !req
405. I'd be able to
discuss this with,Copy !req
406. but someone in your
field may be a tad more,Copy !req
407. understanding.Copy !req
408. - Fire away.
- Well,Copy !req
409. one night, about a month ago,Copy !req
410. I was driving from Portsmouth
to Cowes, along a back road,Copy !req
411. when I saw a strange
light in the sky.Copy !req
412. - Right.Copy !req
413. And I began to realiseCopy !req
414. that it was some sort of craft.Copy !req
415. and then a door in the side
of the craft suddenly openedCopy !req
416. and strange, alien-like
creatures began to emerge.Copy !req
417. Well, at that point I
suddenly passed out,Copy !req
418. and the next thing I
remember was waking upCopy !req
419. with the distinct impressionCopy !req
420. that the aliens had inserted
some sort of anal probe...Copy !req
421. I was also left
with the convictionCopy !req
422. that they expected me to
carry out some sort of task.Copy !req
423. They wanted me to
launch a nuclear attackCopy !req
424. against the United
States of America.Copy !req
425. Could I have another brandy?Copy !req
426. Do.Copy !req
427. Forgive me for talking
about this, Toast.Copy !req
428. I've only revealed it to
you because you're an actor.Copy !req
429. Imagine trying to explain this
to the Minister of Defence.Copy !req
430. Especially the new one.Copy !req
431. Fotheringham?Copy !req
432. Yes.Copy !req
433. Although I don't think he'll
be around for too long.Copy !req
434. Very strong rumours about
that he's going to be arrestedCopy !req
435. for misdemeanours at the BBC.Copy !req
436. - Really?
- The aliens chose meCopy !req
437. because I have access to nuclear
weapons on this submarine.Copy !req
438. So, you plan to go
through with this attack?Copy !req
439. Oh, yes.Copy !req
440. The commander has
the special codesCopy !req
441. that need to be activated
to launch an attack,Copy !req
442. so I've tied her up and
stuck her in the hold.Copy !req
443. All I need to do is persuade
her to hand them over.Copy !req
444. Maybe you could help
me with that as well.Copy !req
445. Look, if I'm honest,Copy !req
446. - I think you are...Copy !req
447. Hm.Copy !req
448. You will help,Copy !req
449. won't you, Steven?Copy !req
450. Yes!Copy !req
451. - All right, Commander,Copy !req
452. I'm sorry to have to
break rank like this,Copy !req
453. but I need to have those codes.Copy !req
454. Sorry, just before you do that,Copy !req
455. could I just...?Copy !req
456. Ahhh!Copy !req
457. Are you in on this too?Copy !req
458. We're all in on this.Copy !req
459. Me, Vice Commander
Hopkinson-Finch,Copy !req
460. and the aliens from the planetCopy !req
461. A-ah-ah-ah-ah!Copy !req
462. Have they been in
contact with you as well?Copy !req
463. What?Copy !req
464. Look, just give him the codes.Copy !req
465. I've got to be at
the theatre at 7.30.Copy !req
466. I need a direct order
from the Prime Minister!Copy !req
467. Oh, the aliens have been in
touch with the Prime Minister.Copy !req
468. I'm expecting a phone
call any minute.Copy !req
469. Just give me the codes.Copy !req
470. Look, you give me the codesCopy !req
471. and I'll write them down.Copy !req
472. Oh.Copy !req
473. Okay, er.Copy !req
474. Six,Copy !req
475. 14.Copy !req
476. Um...Copy !req
477. Ooh!Copy !req
478. I don't have a pen.Copy !req
479. Oh, um...Copy !req
480. Hit him!Copy !req
481. - Help!Copy !req
482. Help!Copy !req
483. Ladies and gentlemen,Copy !req
484. welcome to the official
relaunch of the Penetrator.Copy !req
485. It gives me great pleasureCopy !req
486. on my very first day
as Defence MinisterCopy !req
487. to launch this magnificently
refurbished vessel.Copy !req
488. Help!Copy !req
489. I don't suppose you fancyCopy !req
490. going for a drink
some time, do you?Copy !req
491. What?Copy !req
492. Up periscope.Copy !req
493. Down periscope.Copy !req
494. Launch the nuclear weapons.Copy !req
495. Abandon the vessel.Copy !req
496. Sorry.Copy !req
497. - Help!Copy !req
498. The
rubbish has been unloaded.Copy !req
499. Afternoon tea is being served.Copy !req
500. Please keep your belongingsCopy !req
501. - with you at all times.Copy !req
502. Remember to wash your handsCopy !req
503. after handling the torpedoes.Copy !req
504. Disem bark.Copy !req
505. Okay.Copy !req
506. I assured the Prime MinisterCopy !req
507. that I would not be all at sea.Copy !req
508. But I've come an
awfully long wayCopy !req
509. since those pioneering
days at BBC Radio 1.Copy !req
510. - At that time,Copy !req
511. I was mainly concerned
with airwaves,Copy !req
512. not the kind of waves that
we're surrounded by today.Copy !req
513. - Ha!Copy !req
514. Yes.Copy !req
515. - 40 years.Copy !req
516. How society has changed.Copy !req
517. But one thing remains unchanged.Copy !req
518. The commitment of the GovernmentCopy !req
519. to the men and women
of the Royal Navy,Copy !req
520. who do such a valuable jobCopy !req
521. as Britain faces the challengesCopy !req
522. of an uncertain and
dangerous world.Copy !req
523. Lord Fotheringham?Copy !req
524. Yes?Copy !req
525. We need you to come to
the station with us.Copy !req
526. There have been some complaints
from female staff at the BBCCopy !req
527. dating back to the 1970s.Copy !req
528. The 1970s?Copy !req
529. But that's ages ago.Copy !req
530. What are you
standing around for?Copy !req
531. There's a crazed alien
nut job in there,Copy !req
532. waving a piece at the commander!Copy !req
533. Officers!Copy !req
534. I've managed to overpower
the vice commanderCopy !req
535. and he's under lock
and key in the hold.Copy !req
536. Sorry?Copy !req
537. What's this about?Copy !req
538. The vice commander.Copy !req
539. He was threatening to
take over the vesselCopy !req
540. and launch a nuclear strike.Copy !req
541. Don't know anything
about that, I'm afraid.Copy !req
542. Oi!Copy !req
543. You don't have to
chase him too, Toast!Copy !req
544. I'm not chasing him.Copy !req
545. I have to be at the
theatre at 7.30.Copy !req
546. Good God, Toast!Copy !req
547. Your brother-Copy !req
548. Hm.Copy !req
549. Wants to meet me for a drink.Copy !req
550. You know, he really was
quite impressive back there.Copy !req
551. Well, perhaps he's consideringCopy !req
552. a career in the services,Copy !req
553. even if it is only the Navy.Copy !req
554. Well, his acting,Copy !req
555. when he pretended to play alongCopy !req
556. with the vice
commander's wishes,Copy !req
557. was highly effective.Copy !req
558. He's clearly a very
capable performer.Copy !req
559. As long as he stays
away from comedy.Copy !req
560. He has absolutely
no sense of humour.Copy !req
561. Well, funny you should say that.Copy !req
562. Did you know our family were
known as the dry Toasts?Copy !req
563. - Yes, I do know that.
- Right.Copy !req
564. Well, I suppose
the services' lossCopy !req
565. is the theater's gain.Copy !req
566. Disgrace!
Disgrace! Disgrace!Copy !req
567. Disgrace! Disgrace!Copy !req
568. Disgrace! Disgrace! Disgrace!Copy !req