Tires 3x8

1. What do you guys think? You wanna grab a beer or something?

2. Actually got that date with Jill tonight.

3. - Nice. - I thought that was Saturday.

4. Nah, she moved it up. She couldn't wait to get her hands on the big dog.

5. All right!

6. Will, what about you? You want a beer?

7. Uh, no.

8. Jesus, man. God.

9. Make an excuse.

10. Yeah. Well...

11. It's gonna rain later. Can I just say no?

12. Yes.

13. Uh, have a good night. Bye.

14. See ya, man.

15. What's his fucking problem? I don't know.

16. - Have fun. - See you, guys.

17. - What do you say? - About what?

18. Getting a beer. Oh. I mean...

19. If that's... You know, I don't—

20. Yes or no, Kilah?

21. - Um, sure, yeah. Yeah. - All right. See you over there?

22. - I don't have my fucking car, Cal. - Oh. So fucking let's go.

23. - Thank you. - You can't be like this all night.

24. All night? Relax! Just give an answer.

25. Where you going?

26. Oh, um, a... a work dinner. I texted you about it. I promise.

27. Yeah. No, no, I just... I forgot. Jesus.

28. You know what, Dave? Just relax on the "good boy" stuff.

29. Oh... oh yeah, I'm relaxed. I'm chilling.

30. What? It doesn't matter. Um...

31. I was actually thinking, do you think we could talk about,

32. I don't know, me graduating from the guest room back into our bedroom?

33. Uh... Maybe soon?

34. Yeah, I mean, um...

35. I know you wanna wait a little bit before we have sex again,

36. but I just really think it's important for us to reintroduce

37. some kind of erotic intimacy back into the relationship, you know?

38. I think it'd help us get back on track. Doesn't that sound nice?

39. Oh, okay.

40. It's...

41. Yeah, uh...

42. Have fun tonight.

43. The pussy of strangers will only make you feel more alone.

44. Another day, another fight, with— Hey.

45. I got you fresh sheets for your bed. You're the best.

46. You take really good care of me, you know that?

47. Yep.

48. God.

49. She wants my dick so bad.

50. Okay. Where the fuck are my shoes?

51. After you. - Thank you. I've never been here.

52. - Me neither. - Oh, nice.

53. - I think you start. - Hi.

54. Hey, there it is. Uh, we have a reservation for two.

55. You can't wear sneakers in here.

56. What? You can't wear sneakers in here.

57. It's West Chester. I should be wearing overalls.

58. Sorry, company policy. This is fine dining.

59. I mean, come on.

60. No. Thank you.

61. - They're just sneakers. - Yes. And they're not allowed.

62. It's not like this place is...

63. Yeah, it's not some fucking... A fucking fancy-schmancy like...

64. Like a...

65. Like a Red Lobster or something. I can't think of an...

66. It's not, like, that nice, so we can go in with our sneakers.

67. I'm just doing my job.

68. Okay. Your job is not really a job. You're an iPad. You're an iPad with tits.

69. When they invent those, you're done.

70. Yeah, you're out. A lot of people will lose jobs, but you're first.

71. - You know what? We are gonna leave. - Well, you have to, so...

72. No, we want to.

73. You have to. - We want to.

74. Have a nice night. "Have a nice night."

75. You see this?

76. - I'm taking these. - Of course you would.

77. Also, the sneakers thing, let me guess,

78. you're not allowed to wear plain white T-shirts either?

79. Yeah? No flat-brimmed hats? You know that's racist?

80. - You know you're a little racist? - Oh. Are you a liberal?

81. You are like the fucking devil.

82. You're psycho.

83. Oh my God.

84. Yo, I thought you were gonna punch that lady.

85. - I wanted to. That's crazy. - I can see that you wanted to.

86. And I'm not even that hungry, so...

87. I'm not really hungry, either.

88. - Great. - Yeah.

89. - But you know what? - What?

90. We should go to Creekside.

91. Haven't been to Creekside in, like, 20 years.

92. - Me neither. - You wanna go to Creekside?

93. Yeah, I think it'll be fun. I will make it fun.

94. Okay.

95. Oh...

96. You don't do this a lot, do you?

97. What, go to bars?

98. Not really.

99. I went to high school with that girl.

100. Total bitch.

101. Really? - Yeah. She was on my volleyball team.

102. No shit.

103. Wait a second. They were all on my fucking volleyball team.

104. Do you still talk to them? - I mean, occasionally, but...

105. Oh my God, do you think this is a reunion that I wasn't invited to?

106. No!

107. It's definitely a reunion, and I wasn't fucking invited.

108. Maybe it is. I don't know. Maybe they thought you were dead.

109. Is that supposed to make me feel better?

110. Yeah.

111. - Oh. - Oh fuck.

112. Shit.

113. God.

114. How stupid are we to not realize actual high schoolers would be here?

115. It's crazy they're still doing what we used to do.

116. Yeah. Well, some things never change.

117. Um...

118. We could hang out in here.

119. Until the cops come and bust 'em up.

120. Ooh.

121. Oh shit, a cop!

122. Freeze! - Cops! Cops!

123. It's us, the cops! My partner's a woman!

124. Watch out, she'll pull the trigger!

125. Get back here, you little fuckers!

126. I see why cops do this. It's fun. - I always thought you'd be a cop.

127. Really? Yeah, me too. I get it.

128. No, I thought you'd go to jail. Let's see if they have beers.

129. - You said we were going to dinner, Pete. - They got wings.

130. - I'm getting the fuck out of here. - Hey. Come on, sit down, relax.

131. I can't be in a place like this! You tricked me!

132. Oh, stop being so dramatic.

133. What, you think these guys go to fucking Applebee's?

134. They're shady Japanese businessmen. These guys fucking party.

135. - I thought you said they were Korean. - Whatever.

136. If Barb found out I was here, I could lose my marriage.

137. I'm sleeping in the guest room still. Understand?

138. Yeah? Then, it sounds like you need a big fucking win.

139. And so do I, all right? You wanna stop sleeping in the guest room?

140. You wanna stop calling Will your fucking boss?

141. Come on, Davey. This deal could put us both back on top.

142. I will stay for one drink.

143. - Yeah! - All right?

144. But we're getting right to business. Of course!

145. All right. Listen...

146. These guys are all about respect, so play it cool. Okay?

147. Here he is. Hey, hey! Mr. Ricky!

148. Good to see you! - What's up, man?

149. Great to see you, buddy. Hey, boys. Mr. Ricky, this is Dave.

150. Yeah!

151. Oh shit, funny guy. I like your face.

152. Boys, come on in. Good to see you. Let's go. Grab a seat. Look at this!

153. Look at these girls. It's unbelievable.

154. Yeah, I am so excited about these tires, guys.

155. How about shots? Shots! Yeah!

156. - Yeah, yeah. - Shots! Shots! Shots! Shots!

157. Shots, yes! Do it! - Yeah, that sounds... You guys go crazy.

158. I'm just gonna stick with a drink, I think, but I'm excited.

159. You guys have the time of your lives. Let's talk these fucking tires, right?

160. Are you being disrespectful?

161. No, um, I'm just kind of taking it easy right now.

162. Are you fucking serious?

163. You're about to freak me out, brah.

164. This can go real bad.

165. I guess one shot's not gonna hurt, right?

166. - He's just kidding. - You're fucking around?

167. - Funny! - Yeah, you got me.

168. Let's get some shots!

169. Shots! Shots! Shots! Shots!

170. Look at the ladies, man! I'm getting hard.

171. Oh my God.

172. Hey, guys.

173. Kilah. Hi!

174. Hi, Kilah! - Hi! Wow!

175. Oh my God, how have you been?

176. Good. Um, what are you guys doing here?

177. Just, you know, grabbing some drinks.

178. Yeah, I texted Michelle, and she said she reached out to Hailey.

179. And then Jen randomly showed up.

180. - You're all wearing matching bracelets. - Oh yeah, I just got them from work.

181. They were in my car, and I thought they would look fun.

182. I thought it was maybe, like, a reunion. That's why I asked about it.

183. - No! - We wouldn't.

184. No! Never. That's not...

185. It's more like we all just text. Mm-hmm.

186. Yeah, uh, how have you been?

187. You know, pretty good. Just working a lot, the usual.

188. Nice.

189. How are you guys?

190. Good, yeah.

191. Hailey, you look really good.

192. Thanks. I had a breast augmentation.

193. Cool. Well, I'm here with my friend.

194. I don't wanna leave him hanging, so I'm gonna head back.

195. - Is that your boyfriend? - Nah, he's just my friend from work.

196. Oh cool. Is he single?

197. He is, but he's pretty picky, so...

198. That's not a problem.

199. Well, you know, it was really, really great to see you, Kilah.

200. You guys too. Um, I'll see you guys around.

201. See ya. - Bye.

202. So awkward. - She's still so weird.

203. Oh my God!

204. Hey, do you remember

205. when I gave you head behind that tree?

206. Yeah.

207. Mm-hmm? - I do.

208. - What? - Nothing. It's just a nice memory.

209. What are you ta... No, you're being...

210. - What you wanna say? - All right, I'll...

211. I just remember how cold your fucking teeth were.

212. And there were so many teeth, and it was so cold, and it was...

213. That can't be true.

214. - It's true. - What are you talking about?

215. I'm sorry to tell you that. Wow, dude.

216. That is not what I thought you were gonna say.

217. All right.

218. Gimme another chance.

219. - Okay. - You gotta put me in, Coach.

220. Right now?

221. Right now. In the woods?

222. Yeah, I'm gonna give you head in the woods.

223. That's the only way to settle this. Uh...

224. Unless you can think of a reason not...

225. I can think of a lot of reasons, but I'm not gonna argue.

226. Okay!

227. Hey! - Oh fuck, it's the actual cops!

228. Fuck! You don't have to—

229. What are you doing? - Don't run. We're 38!

230. Oh shit! Hey!

231. You all right? Yeah.

232. Nobody move!

233. Holy shit.

234. - You didn't push that lady, did you? - No!

235. 'Cause that's a big deal. It's like, whoa.

236. You do not wanna do stuff like that.

237. I didn't.

238. Is she underage?

239. I'm not that fucking cool.

240. Hey! None of that here!

241. - You gonna help her? - No.

242. Jeff, let's get the fuck out of here.

243. What are you doing at my house?

244. Well, hello, Phil.

245. Uh, I would like to talk to you if you have a minute.

246. You don't have to sigh at me.

247. Fuck! Shanked it.

248. Phil, I, uh,

249. was hoping we could talk about what you said the other day

250. about wanting to make some changes.

251. The shop is sort of my heart and soul, so if we're talking about making changes—

252. Stop right there.

253. There's no "if we are" because there's no "we."

254. You know, you really have a problem delegating.

255. Oh, do I?

256. Yeah. Bonnie thinks so too.

257. You talked to Bonnie?

258. - I went to visit her at work. - Why do that?

259. Well, to try and make things good between her and Shane.

260. And so, you know, sort of discussed how there's a lot of masculine energy.

261. - You have it, I have it, obviously. - No, you don't.

262. And how that creates a combustible situation,

263. and that's probably why she's choosing a different path.

264. Then we were talking about my path too.

265. And I can see you're very upset, Phil, but I was trying to do the right thing.

266. Look, I'm just gonna bring in a GM that has a shitload of experience,

267. and that person and I are gonna get Valley Forge back on track.

268. I'm probably gonna sell a couple of locations.

269. What? You can't do that!

270. What do you mean I can't do that? I own Valley Forge.

271. Are you fucking kidding me?

272. Will, I have never had a failing business, but this time, I hung around too long.

273. Why? Out of sentimentality for you and Shane.

274. Phil, you never gave me a chance.

275. I gave you too many chances.

276. You gotta be ashamed of yourself,

277. drawing genitals on the whiteboard during business hours?

278. Joyriding, eating ice cream? You couldn't even get rid of Mike Weir.

279. He dragged that fucking location down for another month.

280. But then I met somebody who made me happy,

281. but then Shane fucked that up, and now she won't talk to me.

282. Additionally, I've been wearing this fucking earring for six months,

283. and I'm convinced I have an active infection.

284. When I told you that earring looked good, I was lying.

285. No.

286. Okay. You got me.

287. I got offered another job.

288. Good. Take it. Tomorrow.

289. Unbelievable.

290. None of 'em fell. Yeah, well...

291. Oh. You got fucked up.

292. Thankfully, it's just the entire right side of your head.

293. Thank God.

294. Do you wanna go to urgent care? I could—

295. No! I'm not gonna spend the whole night in urgent care.

296. All right. - What am I, gay?

297. I love you.

298. - That was the seat belt, not like a... - It's been the seat belt the whole time?

299. - I swear I thought you were farting. - No, you didn't.

300. I... I swear.

301. Since we've been in the car, I've been like, "Goddamn."

302. - "She says 'gay' and farts?" - You're relentless.

303. "Who's this, my fucking Mini-Me?"

304. Hey. I saw you at the bar.

305. Uh, yeah. Yeah, I'm here with Kilah.

306. - Pull up a chair. - I should probably get back to—

307. No. Come talk with us.

308. All right.

309. What are you drinking? One of those Sacred Vices.

310. Yeah, I've had those before. What are you drinking?

311. A dirty martini. - Nice.

312. - You like martinis? - I've never had a cocktail in my life.

313. Oh my God. Yeah.

314. I'll make you a martini sometime.

315. I like olives.

316. Yeah!

317. All right. That's a good point. You got me there.

318. Hey, Dave, I'm gonna give you a deal of a lifetime.

319. Hell yeah, dude.

320. You can have TakaTaka Tires exclusively, at cost.

321. Or maybe below that. Oh!

322. Your dad's going to be okay with that?

323. Yeah. Huh?

324. Shut the fuck up, man. I can do whatever I want, all right?

325. I don't give a fuck what my dad says.

326. We good, man? No, we're good, man.

327. These guys are so jealous of me, dude. They really, really are, man.

328. What do you think?

329. Listen, man, I like what you're saying, but I'll be honest, I read the reviews.

330. They're a little tough.

331. That's all fucking bot shit, man. Fucking AI horseshit.

332. Probably the fucking Chinese if we're being real, right?

333. No, man, it wasn't AI, man.

334. We got some bad reviews, man.

335. Those old tires, man, they would bust open, dude, right?

336. The tread was terrible. The tread was terrible.

337. But when I took over, this new line, this new Teflon, it's a new game, baby.

338. - These are completely new tires? - New tires, my friend.

339. State-of-the-art, dude. The best.

340. - Come to the ride-and-drive. - Yeah, do the fucking ride-and-drive!

341. Yeah, I'd love to see them in person. There we go. There we go!

342. I wanna be real with you, man. I believe in this product.

343. I would bet my fucking life on it.

344. - Okay. Yeah. - Anyway, I'm gonna get a lap dance.

345. Yeah, dude. Hey!

346. You sat on my leg fucking too long. Come on.

347. Take it easy on her, big guy.

348. Okay. - Yeah, that was fun.

349. - It was good to see you. - That was fun.

350. It was good to see you.

351. - Why are you making fun of me? - It's easy. I don't know. I'm sorry.

352. I can't believe you fell. Yeah.

353. That was my first fall in a while, I'll be honest.

354. Well, it looked natural. You still... You still look really pretty.

355. Yeah.

356. - My babysitter. - Oh.

357. Cara. - Hey!

358. So sorry I'm a little late. Um, you're the best.

359. Mm-hmm. Thank you.

360. What's up, big man?

361. Hi, I'm Shane.

362. Fun night?

363. Yeah. I think... Yeah. Yes. Yeah, it was really fun.

364. Got a little dirty?

365. Yeah, fell down a huge hill.

366. - He pushed me. - No, I didn't.

367. - Um, I will see you later. - All right. I'll see you.

368. Okay, uh... Thank you. Get home safe.

369. Yeah, thank you.

370. What?

371. "I'm Shane." Dude.

372. What the fuck?

373. You're gonna tell her, are you?

374. All right.

375. Hey, Kilah, where you guys at?

376. Ah, Pete. You were right, man. This was a good idea.

377. I gotta get out of here.

378. - What are you talking about? - I can't be here, dude. I can't.

379. We used to do this shit every fucking night,

380. doing coke and banging hookers until 5:00 a.m. and work all day.

381. That's the old me, Pete. I can't do shit like this.

382. Let me ask you this. When's the last time you had a lap dance?

383. September 11th, 2025, 5:42 p.m. It was happy hour.

384. - You need a fucking lap dance, baby. - No, Pete. No.

385. Come on. Hey, baby doll! Get over here!

386. No, no. Come on.

387. No, no, no, Pete. We don't—

388. How are you, beautiful?

389. Good. How are you? Hi.

390. Listen, my buddy here just closed a massive deal.

391. Help him celebrate? We don't—

392. Sure, I can. Yes, you earned it.

393. What kind of business do you do?

394. I'm a pilot.

395. Pilots do massive deals?

396. We just bought a big plane.

397. What?

398. We just bought a big plane!

399. Cool.

400. Let me take you in the back.

401. Oh, no. You're very beautiful, but I can't do stuff like that.

402. Come on.

403. I can't. No.

404. - Yeah. Come on. - I really... I'd love to, but I can't.

405. - I really can't do that. - Let's have some fun.

406. It's on me.

407. Enjoy yourself.

408. - Okay, just a quick song. - Get in there!

409. Your fastest song, DJ, please.

410. TakaTaka! Please!

411. Oh boy.

412. What's your dream?

413. I feel I'm living my dream. Working with cars...

414. - What's up, Kilah? - Hey. How was your date?

415. Fucking crazy. Yeah?

416. Yeah. Who's Cal talking to?

417. Some bitch I went to high school with.

418. Nice.

419. My entire volleyball team, actually. They're, um, having a reunion without me.

420. That's fucked up. They didn't invite you?

421. Nah.

422. Lame, right?

423. You're probably the coolest one. They're lame for not hanging out with you.

424. That's nice. Thank you. Fuck them.

425. You should go fuck them up.

426. You know what?

427. - Yeah, fuck them. - Yeah. I'm gonna get a beer.

428. No. Like, seriously, fuck them. Oh, you're gonna go?

429. Yeah. Oh shit.

430. So after I got the first tattoo—

431. What are you doing? Why are you doing this?

432. Why am I doing what?

433. - You know what. - You said he wasn't your boyfriend.

434. He's not. But you were mean to me for four straight years in high school,

435. and now you're flirting with my friend? It's fucking weird.

436. - You were mean to Kilah? Why? - Are you sure you're not dating?

437. - Fuck you! - I wasn't mean to you in high school.

438. Yes, you were, and you're being mean to me right now.

439. This is obviously a fucking reunion. How come you didn't invite me?

440. No, we were... we were just hanging out.

441. Oh, bullshit! I was never cool enough. I was never rich enough.

442. I know you guys are tall-pretty, and I'm just tall-tall. Whatever.

443. You left me out then like you're doing again now.

444. Just admit it. Just fucking admit it. You didn't invite me.

445. We didn't invite you.

446. As a matter of fact, have a group text on our phone called "Without three"

447. because you were number three.

448. - Fuck you. - Fuck you.

449. - Hey, why don't you take it easy, lady? - Fuck you, Shrek.

450. Shrek? I was just with a girl on a date that's hotter than all you guys.

451. Maybe not as hot you. She's tied with you.

452. But she's definitely cooler than you. She was gonna give me head.

453. She fell down a hill.

454. So she never gave me head. Fucking Shrek? Idiot.

455. Yeah. Look.

456. I can stand here and call you all bitches. Hailey, you're a slut. Nothing changes.

457. The truth is, it sucks to be left out.

458. It's heartbreaking.

459. It's happening all over again.

460. See these guys? These are my best friends. They'd never pull that kind of bullshit.

461. I'm so sorry, Kilah. Oh, shut up!

462. Fucking give me this.

463. There.

464. Try to enjoy your onion rings now. You can't.

465. They're all soggy and shit laying there.

466. The crisp is gone, and that's the best part of the onion ring.

467. Enjoy, motherfuckers.

468. Yo!

469. Yeah, fuck your onion rings.

470. Can we leave?

471. Where do you wanna go? Anywhere.

472. Shrek.

473. Fuck.

474. Fuck!

475. Do it again. Don't be a dick. Yes.

476. Oh!

477. Coming in hot.

478. Oh!

479. We did it. Not bad.

480. Oh yeah.